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Uuter ooautJ RepibUoan I
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. . M. .Aftl'BIIJUL'f : , EDITOR , " rtJJUtSIlEJ
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. .nOKEN DOW , , . , . NJCDRASIU
_ _ _ _ . . . . . . ' . . v J . I
' . The darkest day must end nt In.st , Jr ,
ot cnr1ler.
, The wife ot England's chief pawn.
"rolter hns Just bl'enJ received at CO\lrt. \
ou cnn't Ieep n10ney down.
-
This Is II. hard , hnrd world One Is
laretl1"'d ' 'ne shoveling 8now betore It
is tlmo t sharpen up the Inwn mower.
I . , .1" \ " " _
Spain would like to raise the Maine
In order to nsccrlnlll the caURO oC the
xploslon. DettQr let leQplng dogs' Ill' .
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'
Dr.1 Smith my GQlllrreo hn8 opened
khe qucstlon ot Czolgos1.'s snnlty. It
18 dtmcult to see what dlfferQllco It
mnl'Q8 DOW.
nctonn reporta progrQSS In Afghnn.
8tn'n. Any husbnnd down there have
lng more thnn tour wh'QS Is now guilt. } '
of a double lIre
I The St. Loul8 got.rlch'qulck nllin
'Who carelQs81y l ft $2.JQOOO where the
courts could gQt 1I08l1esslon ot It must
hnvo 1wen 11. new hnnd nt the bU8lness.
Tll0 design on the new Philippine
coln'ls the tlgure of nn nthletlc young
womnn with n raised hlllJllJlQr In her
! land and nn n11\11 by her sldQ , It
I ought to mnl.e 11. hit.
The PQr cnpltn clrculntlon of mOlley
, In this countr. } ' 011 Murch 1 WIHI 2f1'l1 ,
the , highest on record. I.Ot8 or us
bo perfectly willing , howe\'Qr ,
o knock . err the torty-one CQlltS.
, And then on turtller reflectloll ,
OCSI1't thut Buffalo ulfulr cause 0110 to
teel somewhnt grnteful to Dr. Shrady
tor "Ivlng us such encouraging vItnl
Eta.t Stlcs regarding tlw "smnrt set ? "
If the dodl wrote a book whnt
\Vould be the chnrnctcr ot It ? Wh ' , 1t
VOUhl bo 1n praise of'Irtue , because
he good would purchase It for use nud
he wIcked for ostentation. Smart
evil.
, L TIle good t.hnt lIelll' . } ' Wnrd Beecher
Id llvelll1fter him. It w1ll go on Ih'-
ng when the very J11\1UQS of lilH de-
trllct ra are forgotten. Let men take
Jhls t 8S01 to heart , for It Is the come-
ileat 11esaou learned In mnny n dny.
The Cubans have < 11scovercd whnt
i\.mericaus hnve long ) euown , thut rail-
tvays 'make business. The hend of the
'ostoffice Department nnnounced re-
hntI that the postnl receipts hnd
oubled slnep the op mlng of the mil.
vay through the center of the Island.
Not long ago a phyalclan who applied
, for ilia positIon of nsslstnnt sUl'geon
\ n the nav ' was rejected because he
ns so big thnt ho could not squeeze
hrough , the hl1tchwn ' of a torpedo
oat. 'No"r one sees wh. } ' the .Nav. } '
J jepnrtment Is building bigger and bigger -
ger vessels.
Mary' E , WllklnB.Il'l'ee1UlllI's latest
oolt Is entItled "Six ' .rrees. ' 'rhls BUg-
ests a plan whereby It may become
'ery enry , to find nnmes for new nov-
Is. ! I.'here cnn bo "Ii'our Postholes , "
'Flvo Halnspout8. " " 1'cn Cowtracks , "
btc. , nd lib. Authors who need nnmes
tor new novels should not overloolt Wis
&ilmplo & process.
\ ' ! ComlnemorntIon , of the , 'Ictorles of
ar Is now to be supplemented hy
elebrntlons of arbltrntlol1 triumphs , If
South American exn111plo be 1'ollow-
, . Rio do Jnnelro has just CQlcb1'llt.
d the anniversary of the settlement hy
rbltrntlon of tile bou1Hlllry dlsputo
ctween Brazil nnd the Argcntlne ne.
ubl1e" . ! rhe cntrovers ( ' wus decided
In favor of Brazil. The lines of de-
arcatIon , thus paclficnlly estnbllsh.
d , wrlto II. story ot selt.restrnlnt , con.
plUatlon and 4onor. No boundal'lcs
Jlxed by an unjust wnr could bo mUlle
to ree rd any such tale of rIghteous.
ness and forbcnmnce. '
It Is customar. } ' to reter to college
tudcnts as "men. " Columbia Unl-
\varsity \ hns offered recent proof thnt
hey "aro but children of a larger
rowth. " The lung.fish which hns been
n the zoologlcnl depnrtment died lnte.
y of pneumonia. . 'l'he fisli wns the .
only ono ot Its kind In the country.
orcfore an Important personnge.
When news cnme of the death of the
sh , a committee of tile students at
neo applied to the authorities for. 11.
) lollday to nttend the tunernl , As the
ung.fish wits not a trustee , the request
had to : bo denied. .
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Twenty-three New York policemen !
ately took an examination before the
! lvIJ Service Board 1'o , promotion to
ftbe rank ot ln8pccot : : I'pur only were
lJIuccessful , although , ll' passed the
hysical testa and all hnd good records.
crsons who do not believe In civil
service retorm orten cite aSes of this
ldnd as nn illustration .If the tut11lty
ot the la.w. They nrgue thnt men who
are sound physically and have mnde
d records In
subordll1llte position I
uo just the ones 'Who deserve promo-
on. To answer this argument the
1 Ziew York Evening Post printed all
P1e Questlol1.ll In the cxnmlnntlon.
e1'1' one related InUn1lltel. } ' to the
ode an IWlpoctor has to do. It wns
general Inte1l1g nce and an underi i
tan UnK : of the duties they wished to
um. - , , that the nineteen policemen
jtalled. . , ' ,
. When Oeorge Gould missed his
paerth-bound connection In Il'lorfda he
II" Bet .t leeraph to the limited tore -
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turn anel pick up hlft PRl't-PllrtlYt
lerhnpfl , bccn l1e 110 , did not own th
rOlld. On t.he contrnry , he pnld $ lli ( ) ( }
for a f1) ! ( clnl truln nllel started In pur.
suit. ThufJ wo 1I1n. } ' note the dla'er'nco
hetween O\or e 11I(1 Mrs. Vnnllerltllt ,
between 11. huslness mlln and Il HOl'I't3'
womnn. And yet Gcor e's ItnRlncI'1 ! I
wnM most prcRshlK ; he hnd n dlnn'r
( ' 11jag01t1Q1tt In New York IIncI fUllrl'el
the fish would Slloll Iterore hl' ' ' ' ' ' ( ' .
Here agnlh we 1IIny lenrl1 11 ! I 'Ilon III
the pUllctillous obser\'fince oC nllPolllt
mQntIJ. Whnt Is n Inure mntter flC $1.
liOO whell oPPoRed to a prom I ! ! ! ! to dillo
at 11. stlpull1ted hOllr ? Some oC Uti thC'ro
may be who would cut out 11111111'11 Co ; ,
olx months In conslemtloll ( oC Hurh I
Slim , hut the Irhtclille rJ1 ,0Ino1. LOll
U8 give crc.'tllt to Gcorll' , who hl1H
tnught us to regnrd our nrlpollltn1C'IIIH
ntHl not to wOlllld the Cel'lIn H of II
trusting nnd sQnsltl\'o hostellll.
Sir Hiram 1\nxlm , the 11 \'lIt01' 1 , 11m
b'oll at ronte Cnrlo sltlll 'lng thl !
gnll1Q. lIow lI1uch It rest hlll1 to St"
cure a proller nptrQclll tloll or It cn-
) llIclty Cor lootln ! ; SllclWI'S ! locsn't " 11'
peur. But he ! lees sn ' thn t I hQ odd ! !
111 this lI1an11uoth nll1bllll Iwll lire 1Jf )
' cellt - the " ' . Is It '
pel' ag-nln8t Jllu."m' UII
wOllder thnt n prl\'ute ra\'e."IIl'11 Is
necessnry to cnre for the hollt' ! ! oC the
poor tools who 11In'0 111l1'sued fOI'tune/
lost nud died by their own haud ! ! , 111
this nrdcn spot , where IIl1turo fcel H
to hldo traged. } ' wltil flowers. son
birds' find II1m08t perpetual sunshine' !
The mnll who gambles Is enel'llll. } ' u
tool. He mn. } ' mnlte a luclcy win. 110
mny evell pull mOlley out oC Il glllll'
bllng hI'li nnd be strong enough to
stop , but where oue can do thnt , tlm
thousnnd go bnck and 11.1'0 shorll. The
amo Is Cor the hOllse. Pl'OCesslonnl
gamhlers are not phllllnthropists. ' 1'he '
nre not In bushlQS8 for their lwn1th.
Why shou(1n't ) ! L gambler be as 111uch
ot 11. vamplrc as posslblo ? lIe cau't
enter society. In tbe estlll1l1t1on ot the
clelln pnrt ot the pu llc he stunds 011
the sn111e footlll ; ; with the cI'ook. '
Mothers of SOU8 pra. } ' that their chll
dren may not Cali Illto his clutches. :
Even the men who patronize him
would reCuse to allow their wives and
dnughters to Imow , Then why not be
a vampire ? There Is nothing decent
In the business except mone ' , nml It 11\
no wonder thnt the game Is ahva 's
tor tl1 ( ) propl'letor. As a l'esult of his :
Investlgntlons , Hiram Maxim sa.'s the
only way to bellt the bnnk Is not to
ramble at nll. And there lliram spolw
the truUl.
! I.'hls edltorlnl Is bulld d about n
baby , It wns not a laughing , crow. '
Ing baby. It cried. A Wun womnn'
"mothered it" ahd It still cried. All
night , I s the trl1ln rolled on. that ple'rd
Ing. nerve-racking " , nil filled the cllr , '
alld people who had paid good money' '
for II. chnnce to slcep were very angryj
nnd wondered "why thnt eel woman'
didn't , leave her bllby nt h0111e. " In'
the morning two men. who had slept' '
IIttlQ , assembled In the smoltlng npnrt- '
ment nud snld hnrsh things , that theYI
didn't l'enll. } ' menn. about baby amI :
bilby's 111other. All but one , a fine old
111l1n who snlt1 his name WIlS HeffelJ
1In or. who told this story : "When the
OIyll " 'm' WIIS on a great 111nny veter. '
ans were mnrchlng nlong Grnnt's mlll- ,
tary.road nenr Pet rsburg. An 011I.
cer's wife snt In n window with n
baby In her nr111S. An old soldier wentl
to the window nnd said , 'l\ndam , ma.1
I hold thnt bnb. } ' a minute ? ' Shej
hnnded the child to him and the soldlQr
beg\111 to cry , lIe hlldn't seen a rnzor
In six monnls. and he clU'etullr Iclssed !
the bnck of the child's neck. Another ,
soldier nnd l111othel' , Wllnted to hold ,
the bnb. } ' for an Instant. Then , a shou
went up , 'bab.1 a bllb.'I' nnd men
running by hundrQds , and they wer
cry'lng. God bless 'ou , how tho. } ' 'Wero' '
crying I AmI un officer wns compelled' '
to order the men bnck , and to tnko' '
bab ' to Its motlll'r. I was there , II
cded. nnd to this dny I'm proud thatj
the hardships of war do not , can not !
take trom the humnn heart thnt love' '
for ehlldrQn tl1 .t Is the divinest pns-
slon mnn Imows. The cryIng of the
:
baby lnst night dldn't worry 111e. I
didn't let It. I never do. I was thel ;
only sorry ' tor the mother , and be-
CLilSe 'the child was ailing. " The :
gro\tchlest man In the lot snid not a
word. but he reached over ImpuIslvel. } '
nnd grllspoel the hnnd of the mnn who
cried on Grant's mllltnry rondo 'heI
mnn who keeps love frQsh In his henrt" I
who puts a bit of philosophy Into his
dallr lite , doesn't suffer annoyance
when he Is traveling. lie doesn't let
things worry him. And the other kind'
of men , who tret nnd growl and ,
grumble , might rend the baby storyll
and be sorry for the things that cnn.
not be h lped when we travel.
No Dlvlltoml , No BatRry.
The directors In German compnnles
get 110 sulnrlC' ! ! unless the annunl dlvl ,
dend excQeds four per cent. , I\nd tho.
limit the ' may receive Is $13.000 n yenr
The .Iaw forbids the mannger ot a com1
pnny beht a niember of Its boardi
Detailed statement must bo llrlnted tor.
stocl.holders prior to ( l stockholdQl's,1
meeting.
I o8H Oil Tolcl : l'uph System.
Great Brltnln's government t'Jegrnph
system Is being conducted ut a oss. Inl
the lust six 'enrs the exp ndlture8 hnvl {
bccn Increasing more rapIlIl. } ' In proportion -
tion tIlalt the recelp . The figures to
1000.01 were : necelpts , ! 8,380,5S8 ; ex-
} ) endlt1l1'cB , ! 3,65-t,705. ' .rhe expenditure.
howoyer , Includes the outh1y for 110\V
Iln .
OUqHlt " "UI Good.
Firty mJ11lon gallons of petroleum
"feTe llroduced In Burmn nnd ASIIU1I1'
last year. ! ' !
If a man b < < 8 a kl k c inlng , nnd dOl'S
not eet It Inside of n week , he saJ'sl
nothlnar.
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DOCTOR ENS'OR SUPT. SOUT" CAftOLINA
SlATE INSTITUTION.
. -
Endorses the , Catarrhal Tonic Pe.ru"na. .
A ( Jngressman's Letter. .
Dr. J. F , En or , Pos.tmnlltf'r or Colum-
Mn , S. 0. , IRto Supprilltl'ndent nnd Pby-
lclAn In hnrJe or Stnte lll nne As'luUl
at ColumbiA , S. C. , wrltl' ! ! :
i "Aller using your Perunn mysclf
{ or" slJort period , and my family hav-
'Ing USM and arc now using tllo same
, with good results , nl1d UpOll tlJe II-
formatloD of olherM wlJo bl:1'.o been
bcncfJIcd byI as a cure ro1" ' ClltSrr
, and an Invigorating tonlft , ; ( .an crlcer-
fully recommelld to a" ; , crsolls re-
, qulrlngso effective rlJlnedy. " . . .Dr.
J. F. Bnllor.
I lIon. C. W. Butts. ex.\Jemhcr : of Con.
re9s Crom North Dnkotn , . III a leller
, from 'Vsshlnltton D. C. , IIn's :
, "That Perunn Is not enl ' vJ.rous ! : ,
Ins well .a nn < 'fCectlvl ! tonic , but , ,1so n
cure of catnrrh Is heyonll contro"ersy.
lIt Is nlrendy < 'stnbllsherl hy Its \HIe hv
Itho' thoullnlldll who hllve been 1Jt'llcfitril
, IJ , It. I cllnnot too hllllIy ccprc : < s my
, nppreclntlon of Its c'xcellence.C , W.
IButts ,
, Dr. R. Robbins , Muskogee , I. T. ,
I writes :
"Perunn Is the hest medicine I know
oC tor cOllghslnd to strengthen n wenk
IItomn'JI nnd to "Ive Rlllletite. Beside
prescrIbing It Cor cntnrrh. 1 hnvo ordered
It for wenk nnd delJlIitllted pc > o\le \ , nnd
haTe not hnd a pntlent but said It helped
him. It Is nn excellent medlclnc nnd It
110 many cnses.
"I have Il Inrjt ( ' prnctlce , nnd have a
chance to prt'Rcrlbe your Perun" . I
, bope YOI1 mny live long to do Iood to the
sick 1\1Id aurrerln . "
, Only the weak need 1tonic. . Peoplc
nro nOTr.r weak except CrolD 110me good
caulle. One of the ob cnrlJ en uses of
\Veakne ll nnd the one oftenest overlooked -
looked Is cntarrh.
Oatarrh Inflnmes the mucons 1I1'm-
brnne nnd cnulles the blood plnsma to
( 'scapo throug" the mUCOIIII membrl\nc
, In the form of 1I1UCUII. 1'hls , dbl ! hargc
lof mucus Is the snme os the loss of blood.
lIt producea wellkllellil.
. . .
P'runo stops the cntarrh and prevents
the dischnr e ot mnCU1 ! . This 19 why
Perunn Is , coiled n tonic. Perunll docs
not Slv ( ' strength by stlmulotlng the
nervoull system 0 lit tIe.
It glvcs strength by preserving the
mucous membrnne ngnlnst leokoge.
It gives strength by converting the
blooll flnld'fJ end preventing their drain.
In IIway In mllCOll8 dlschnrltes ,
00n9tnnt IIIIHtlng , end blowing the
nell ( ' will finnlly produce extreme wcnk-
nesll Crom the losll of TUuens.
If you do not derive prompt nnd sotls.
fnctor ) ' results Cram the use oC Peruno"
write nt once to Dr. llortmnn. giving a
full ! otatement of your cae ! , 111111 he will
be plen8cl1 to give ) 'ou his vnluable nd-
, 'Ice Itratls.
Addr'ss Dr. Hartmnn , President or :
Tlw llarlmnn Sonltnrlum , ColulJ1bus , 0 ,
W. L. Dou llUl mILkes nod seU" moro men' .
Goodyear welt Ihnnd.sewl'd processl shoe.
th"n any o'her nu\nurlLctnreZ' In the world.
" ' 1111",1.1 < : lonnyonn "bo
$26 I 000 Reward " " " dl.p'c. . . . . . . hlutalpment
Ma.d o ! It. .llmJ'Orll"1 , . "I 4 ' ' 1erl. ' ' ' ' 'e..1'e' ' "
Two hundred thousand dollars lJas
heen appropriated by the Louisiana
Purchue ExpositIon to pov r the
expenses of tbe International Oon-
ureSSCR that will nS'1emblo In St.
Louis. September 10.25 , 11)04. ) 'rhe
Oon ress ot Arts and Sciences w111
have one definite task : T , ) demon-
htrnte the unity or Icnowled e , nnd
tllU:1 : bring harmony and Interrelation -
tion Into the scattered sclentlf1c
work of the present duy. Leading
s holars from nIl ever the world will
rlell vcr leotures before the Oongresi !
Robins are hero
drink
Hires
Rootbcer
The srs81eat aprln" " , tonlr- .
A pnck.eo mnku live gal.
Ion. , Holtl overy'bere.
or by lIIali tor 2.1 CHIlli.
rUlIlI.JllII. : lIlRES to.
, > > . , . . . . . J' . .
WESTIRN CAN'ADA . ,
HAS FREE HOMES
FOR MILLIONS I
Upwardl or 1OO Am.rI _
.0.1 1Ia,0 settled Inh.t.m ( ) a"d. .
1'- durlnlr the lut lUre. Tbe , &N
Iii : IiII " ! oontoutedJh.pPl and prOpera. ,
. , J ! and tbereuroonutllUormllllo" ,
, " . W.nd.rtlll Jt ld. or Wh. al\.t
UJ ! oth.r IIral" . . Ueet Oradoll Laodt
( - the OonUn..t. : .tal..IUce. . . .
ellin.te. ple..t , or w"ter an4 tu I , Oood " "hoo1. &
1..lIe..t . oharch. . and Ipl..dlo ! rallwa , tactIlUee.
Free Homestead f 160 AcresJ FreB
. Olllt chllflle belns $11) for OIItrr. Ballo ! to the
0110..10 tor an All. . IUld other llIlfatnr. . eo "en _
or canl'oale.aldnJ ' 011 reduo' " rail. . . , rat. . . etol , '
aperlllt.lld. " , or lmml.aUo" , Otta. . . . Can. . or tr
WJV. n.II" t , 311 New York Life Dlda. . Omaha
N.b the aut40rlud 06l1adtaG OonrllIDutlI
I THfRE IS NO WEll
; SLICKER LlU = '
I r"orly or 90 Md fter w.ny Ytar
t of U on the 1Z tem CO t. Tower'
. WoW f Oilltd CooU were Intro .Jced
I in the W t end mre aJled Ider _ by
: t1vz plOMer nd COf1boy Th1 o.J > hlc
, rwne hM come Into 3Uclrcl \ we' toot
it i fr h " 'r f oWUqd
to many ) Ututf You wont th
. Look or the i2fof \ tlvl fih , t\d
thtl Tcwer 011M buttoru.
. , I 11H IILACI : yw'oW.AII )
"OLD 'Oy RrJ1Re fNTATrve. TRADf :
' 11ie WORLD OVtR. III
i ; : , owu ( o..IOSTON.HA : : LA.
. .TOItR UlUtwt CGlWtt4TMII'IfIIJ : ' , CAN ,
,
A Skin of Beauty Is a Joy Forevel
DR. T , Y'F.I.1X 001ll1l.tlO'8 OIIlF.NTA
( ) ) u.U.I , OK J&AQlUAI , UrAU1'U'UU. : :
nomon.T.n.l'lmpl""ecllh
.5 0
" ' : J Wotb I'ald. . . . lI..b alld fill
.cn . dIM. . . . . and n.r ) blo"llh.
04 CI uIY. and don
. . 0 1I.I.dlon , U II
. . ' ' .too\ the tr.t or
; j . . f'f..too .
. . . .
ro : .551' -a - . ; : : J. : uano ' . . a. . . . . < 1 . . . . I. . .
: g ,
I " ' O tONo.ur.ltlop"
: : ) : : , -err
almll.r " .m.\I1r.
A , 1101 r. . . .10. to
\Id ) or th. baltt' "
" ' \ . ' " , U l' '
lal"\I.o' \ \ _ ,
11't' < ' 01IJ _ nd . ' 0. .
and' . en. . . . . & & t
. . 10' " I..rmrul .r I
I _ . ' . . . . . . \t. UO. . . . tJk1A . " hrll&le propaJ
, .1 ' " . . .I1DI"II &
1' qQ.o4I J > MonlA 'lal U. a. . C&aaU.e . . . . * "I
_ _ .I.aD. ' 1' . Wlr . h9p..l1eraa J _ " o1 ! : . T
, " ,
I' ' I
: 'l'bl. rand stand ereoted for tbose
wbo vlewod the display or fireworksl
ut the dedication Oeremnnles at thel
LouisIana Purcbase Exposl tlon at St. 1
Louis , is tbe ] argest , wltb one exception -
ception ever built. 'rho cxceptlon Is ,
the grand stand buJlt In London tOf !
the uronatlon ceremonies or En -I
land's ruler , Edward VlII. ' : t'he Stt
LOllis stand hus a seatlDg capacity otl
31,000. It Is 800 teet long and 185
teet broud. The lun'ber In tbe structure -
ture alone cost $20OOLI.
'rhe aoblevements , hfstory and
possibilities In the science and industries -
tries uf ngrioulture are to recol ve ex-
teDsl ve trelltmen t and display at tbe.
Universal Exposition at St. Lluls In , ,
1004. .rho Exposition authorities
hl1ve given tbo vnrious materials , In- ,
dustrles aod I pursuits whiob are to ;
be Included , or implled , undur the
bcadlug Agriculture , such as Lheory ,
or Agrlculture { applian es and metb-
ods used I n agricultural ndustries ;
agrIcultural iU1plements and farm
machlnory ; fann equlpments ; methods - ,
ods ut Improving lands ; agrloultural' I
procnctsl vegetables cereals , etc. . al
lendln plaou In the classillciltion.j
'The space duvoted to agrlculturo ,
covers 65 acreS on a commf.ndlng
site.
,
A quarter ur a million dollnrs bas
been set nSlde by libe Louisiana Pur-
ohase Exposition tor the use of the
Live StocK Department. Ohlef F.D.
Ooburn nnd his asilstnnts ! have ac-
compJlshed mucb , aod are already
u' sured thut tbo live stock display at
St. Louis will exceed that made ab
any previous exposition. Thirty.
seven aores at boautUully wooded
land Is devo' ed to the 11 vo stock ox.
exhibIt , and fine pavllllon6 , stablesl
etc" ure boln erected.
A LAST RESORT.
Pnrc F00l1 8honlr1 ne the Fll'd ,
"rhen the humnn machine goes wrona
It's ten to olle thnt th tro\1ble began
with the ston1nch n11l1 can therefore b
rt'\I1ovcd b ) ' the use or proper food. .A
lad ) ' well blOwn In Bristol , Oatarh
CO\1nty , N , Y. , tells or the experience sh4
hnll cllrln hl'r on I ) ' child by the use 01
scientific Coed : " r ) ' little dnughter , tb4
ollly ch lid RlIII Cor thnt reason doublJ
del\r , Inht'rltcd nen'OIlB Ilys11cpsln. 'V4
trhxl nil klnlls oC remedies nnd seCt foods
At Inst , when Iatlence wns nbout ex
housted nnd the child's condition hal
irown so bad Ole whole fomlly wn :
. nrollsell , we tried Grnle.Nllt .
" "A Crlend roconnnendrd ihe food Il'
L enc which her own delicate children hOI
jrovu stronj ; upon. BO I purchased i
I box-lis n Inst ref > ort. In a very shor
: time a mnrked cllnnge In both henlt :
: Itnd disposition was aeen , What mad
' 0 onr coso eltflY wnR that ehe liked It II
, once nUll Ita crlsl ) , nutty ( Javor hll8 mad
J It an Imml'dlate fnvorlte with the mOl
1. raPltldlo\1s In our family ,
' ' . be thoroughly etal
r : 'It. nse seems to . !
1I"lled In western New York , , . , here man
11' friends Ult It rerularly. I ban notice
Itl fine effecta upon the Intellectl 8a we
I : ; \ as the bodies of the.e who U8e It. W
.we It much. " Nume clven by Poatul
Qo" - - DatU , Oreek - , MIcl1 , - - - - . . . .
, ,
'
, .
,
,
+ + + + 'H + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + '
G00D
5bot3totie ! $ +
* + + -1. + + + + + + + + + + + + # + + -1 , + + -1 + 10
. . . . .
- - - - - -
A certain parson of the old school ,
I\'ho hnd preached Il sel'mon of the IIn.
est , oldCllshloned tin VOl' , nCtm' deplor-
; big the new'1'1ngled doctrines of l ome
Df his you1\ger IJrethm'ou-eJecllllly ;
tbo Ideas C"l the hell ven alll\ other
bl8torlc pln ( 's wblch they Inculcated
lu their discourses-wound UII llls OW11
dl8eourso by sll 'lng : "As Co l' me ,
brethren , the hell of our fnthel'S is
good enough for 111e. "
Senntor Fornlwr docs not cnre much
rOl' soclet. } . , hut ot course , ho Is
: Jbllged to attcml mnny functions durIng -
Ing the season lit Wushlngton , D.
1'ho other evening he WIIS helll'd to
glvc the following order to hl8 coach-
011111 : "Drive us to Senator --13 '
to dinner , then cnll IInd tnlce1S to
Urs.'s recQptlon. At twclve cull
for us to go to the - embll8Sr ,
I1nd nfter thnt tnlt ( ! us to the 1111111-
IJOuse. "
When a colol'ed wnlter , dubbed
"Snowbnll , " .nccldcntlllly spilled some
soup on II Southern represontatln !
whom ho wns scrvlng , thO wrath of
I the Congl'essmnn lmew no bou11(18. After -
. ter a long scolding , the InC\11'lnted
Southerner roared : "Snowball. J'ou
hnve scalded a man who mllY bo Pl'es-
Ident of the Unltl'd Stlltes. " now-
ball's face relaxed , and two glQllmln ; ;
l'OWS of IvorIes came Into promlncnce.
"Lawd. mlstnh , " 8I1.Id he. "when 'ou
gets to be President I reclwn I'll be
Gawd. "
A story Is told of a pastor or n
smnll New En laltl town who WQnt to
New York nnd returned to his hOl1le
wIth the \dea \ thnt he hnd SQen about
nll there was to see. When he wus
asked b ' one of his trusted frlelHls
If he bud studied tho. gambling dens
Ilnd gnmbled himself. he hesltnt1ngl '
confessed that he hnd. "Whel'ct'
queried his nstonlshed friend. "Well.
' 0\1 see It was this way. I went down
to the BowQr ' and found ono of them
gamblin' mil chines. And , woulll 'ou
, bellevo It , I just stood tl1ere and 1'lsI ed
ponnles In thnt mnchlno till the gU1\1
'wouldn't come an. } ' morQ. "
,
An amusing story Is told of Lally
Barlwr's first dinner-party nt Imla.
Desirous of hl vlng a prett ' tablQ , Lady
nrker had hersQlf expended much
cnre. In decorating It. She had just
cceI'\'ed from Emope certllin dnlllt ) .
'chlna figures nnd ornnmental dishes.
nnd had nrranged a tempting show of
SWQetmQnts. 'flowers nnd fl'ult. When
dressing tl111e came , Lady llal'ker
chnrged her servants to be on the
.
watch nnd take care of ever .thlng :
but something of Interest occurred outside -
side ' servnnt left the '
, an eve 1'Oom ,
p\1lte forgetting to close an open win-
1I0w. Before this wIndow wns ' 1Illg
tree on which sat several. monJe 's.
which hnll wntched the prepal'l\tlonll
tor dinner with much Interest. A
hnlf hour later the hostess al1peared
r.cady to recel\'e her ucsts. .Tust to
be sure thnt ever .thlnJ ; was rIght , she
n ve a glance Into the dlnlng.room.
There she beheld a bus ' company of
monlw.'s hard nt worl { , grinning and
jnbbQrlng. their che l s nnd arms crammed -
med with expenslve'sweetmcuts , while
the table presented scene of ( l'h ht-
ful devastntlon-brolen glass and
chinn , fall' linen soiled. everything
tossed. about In hopeless confu810n.
Ii'rom this wreck she h\d : to turn nsldo
end welcome her gUQsts with as 1I1nch
case ot mnnner us possible. Dlmtcr ,
or course , had to be deferred until or.
'lor could b res orQd.
THE S : COND TROMBONE.
A lUuslclnu's Trick thllt Unit Vcry Lu.
dlcrous Couscqucuccfl.
dl'ummel' who
There Is a Pblladelphla
Is known as a lc1nd-heurted al1d obllg ,
Ing 111an , alwurs ready to do a favor If
h can. Lutel. } ' , howe\'e1' , he hud au
experience wblch mny make him cautious -
tious , or at lenst may Influence him to
consider more carefully whether or not
his kindness Is wisely bestowed. lIe
tells the story hlmsQlf to a reporter tot
the PhlladelJhla } Telegraph.
While I WIIS In 0 small clt . not long
I nso a concert company which cnrrlel ]
Its own orchestra put up at the hotQ ]
where I wes stu.'lug. Among tbe
musicians " , ns 11 trombone-pla.'er whe
'Was Il trlend and neighbor of mine II :
PhlladQlphln. I saw him soon utter hlf
I arrl\'cl , IInd he hnd such a very wobe ,
gone loolt that I asked him what the
mntter was. ,
"To tell the truth. Jim , " he snld , "I'm
In a lot of trouble , I'm engnged to II
youn lady In this town , and I 1'I1thel
foollsbly promised to spend th even ,
Ing with her , thinking I could get D
substitute to pIny for me , but ther (
Isn't It trombonist In town. "
"Too bndl" snld I , Ills tnce IIghtet
up suddenly.
"Why , Jim , " he snld , "you can hell
mo out ! You're muslcal- "
"But I don't Imow the first thlnf
, I1bout a trombone , " I Interrupted.
"Oh , thnt won't mntter , " ho said
'
lightly. ' ' 1 pln ' second trombone , nnl
nll you will hnve to do Is o fo11o"
the movements of the first trombone
purr out your cheeks und IteepOUI
eyes on the music. I'd do liS much tot
fOu. "
"All right , " I said , "Go nlong. 1'1
do my best. "
I Imow n little about music : thnt Is
CRn bat out a few things 6\1 \ the 'plnno
but as soon as I took my plnce In tlu
orchestra I telt awkwnrd with n trom
bone. ! I.'he first number on the pro
gram was It selection from " 1'he Bo
hemlan Girl , " and I was sCllred blu
when I SRW that "Tho Henrt Bowel
bowu" was ed f tw. trem
I. \
. . .
- " , -
.
hones. I wanted to run , but thCl"
wns no ( 'hl111ce. Then the leader mad.
n pnss nt me with bls bnton , and !
ot rel1d ' . So did the first trombone.
! Ill' lntfCell out his clleeks , So did I ;
The HI1dcr mllcIe I\nother \ pnss with the
hnton , nnllill obNIIence I worked n\\'n
on the trombone. Tlw first trombo11e-
I
did the SCl111e. But neither 0 f us PlO-
cIuced 1so 111 111.
I could see thnt the leuder wn8 boll1l1 ,
with rn e. SO WIIS I-n alnst the tll.t I
trombone. Cor I fQIt sure thnt It he hllll I
11011e his cIut . I could hl\\'e plnyed the
second IInrt. But tlw lendel' qulcl ly
plIssed the word , nml " 1'he Il ll1't . " . : .
Dewed Down" was cut out. ,
At the close of the concert the m 's'r j/I
tery wns explnlned ; we were both
"dummies. " 'ho fI1'st tromhone IIlso
.
hnd IIn ongnge111ent , utilI hnd fucceelle
hI getting ns a' substitute bnrber , who
WIIS Inslruct d to follow HI ( ) other tl'om.
bone. Stru1Ige to 81\ ) ' , the 1\11I11encc ! llel
not Il'culve this , but the lender did ,
I\tHl although he sllill nothing to u .
he nllule It vel'y Ut1l1lensnnt the next
du. } ' for both the reguln1' pln 'e1's.
.
- -
LOVE FOUND A WAY.
1'ouoI : 'Vomnn Flnnl- Got lIeI' Flowers -
ers to B\ncluunr.
There Is a sn 'lng thnt "Lo\'e will
find a way , " but whethel' the wny Is
nlwn 's a good one seems a lIttl ,
doubtful. On one ot the tmlns 1'\11Inln11
between Innsas CU. } ' nnd St. Louis h ,
u 'oung 1l1'elllUl1 llllmed lllncl mnr.
Sometimes , sn 's tIle Kansas CIt , .
Journal , he Is compelled to stop eye !
In Kansas Ct ) ' , and when se\'eral da ' 1
pts8etl : 1111(1 he failed to put In nn np. .
lIl'al'nnCe the mistress of the bonrdln8
house IIsltcd nbout him.
"lte's In the hospital , " said the mn
who runs the Q1llne und rides In th.
cnh with lllacimtar. "Down In the , \
railroad hospltul , 'ou know. "
Of COU1'se every ono sighed and wnlb ,
cd an cxplnnatlon , I
" 'Veil " the ' "he's
, englneel' begnn , gel
a swccthenrt , and she prQSentcd hill
with a bouquet , and tilO bouquet l1ll .
the rest. ( J
"IInlf way across the state , just oult.
side of { oberly , the girl used to stu1Il
b. } ' her tence nnd wn0 bel' sunbonuc !
ut him. 'rhat wns In the spring. 11
the summer , when the gardQn bllcl { 01
the fence began to bloom , the girl uset
to 111nke bouquets , und when the t1'l1 h'I . ! '
f'PClJ . she used to throw tbem nt tb ,
engine cab , Of course she IIIWa)1
mls ed. but she ltept on tr 'lng.
"It seems , to hurt 'o\mg laclnnar tJ
ha YC the posies crushed uuder th ,
wheels , amI one Sunday , when he weIX
culling on her , they fIxed up a pIau.
" 1'he l1ext da. } ' , when the train weI.
by. the girl had her bouquet fastencl
to a long fIshing-pole. She thrust It
the 1110\'lng train , but she wus a lItUl
too slow. '
"Tho ne. t dny she was there agul.1
with bQr fishing-pole bouque .hoie )
nnd this time she guve a vigorous pus\J \ :
Youug luckmar wns In the cab win.
clew , with his mouth on a brond grh\
WeB , he caught the bouquet , fish-polt ,
nml nIl. and she waved him a trluml
phnl1t good.by. That's all thQre Is tQ ,
that. " . .
- .
"Caught the bouquQt how ? " nsked th ,
boarders.
"Squnre In the mouth. We tool { hl111
bacl down to : ' , { oberly to the hospltn1
on the lwxt traw , with half his chQ'I ,
IJttncbed out. "
"I suppose tIte wedding bells wlq
soon be chiming ? " said a romantic llttl
widow.
"Wel1 , If they nln't , they ought to be ,
He's 110 beauty , I doubt If there'
another glt'l In l\IoberJ ' would have hlw
110W. "
Glont-Grn1l11ma' l > rcscl'lptloIlB.
' .rhe "grnndmotlwr remedy" Is not aI ,
I
WI1.'S a thing to laugh at , Cor somCf . . .
times It cures ; but sometimes , too , th
matter or the mnnnor of It see111S tq
wnl'rant 11. s111lle. ns In the case o
thes ! ' " health hints , Which , says th .
.
'
I Phllndelphla Record , were written Iq
a Camlly DIble eighty years ago by I
the great-grandmother of the prQsenj
owncr ot the DIble :
A stick. of brimstone worn In th
,
poclect Is oed tor them as hns cramps ; ,
A loadstoan put In the plnce war1
the pnln Is , Is beautfful for the Rheul
mntlz.
A bnsln of water gruel , with half 1'\ \
qunrt of old rum In It. with lots o
1'1 1
brown sugar Is good for Cold In lIend1
If you hnve hiccups. pinch one o .
your wrIsts while you count sixty 01 ;
get somebody to scare ; ) 'OU and mak . I
you jumpe.
The eara hc-Put onion In yo r Qat
after It Is well roasted. I
! I.'he consumption-Eat as mnny peR.
nuts as possible betore going to bed ,
"GolllJ : Downl" , , '
The late Colonel Parker ot Ohlcngo ,
011e of the most Important figures Iq
A1l1Qrlcnn edueatfon. used to tell the
I story of an experience ho once hR
when be was vlslUng n pUblic schoot
In Ohlcago.
A little Scotch boy Insisted upor ) \
Sn.'in'g "d on' Instead ot "down. ' !
Flnnlly Colonel Parker Interrupte
and shouted "Downl" In n good,8trong ,
voice.
'J'be , little Scot stooll undisturbed , bu
11. youngster In the roar of the rool'l
jumped to his feet , renched out hl
hand mechanically , nnd then snt down , J
with 11. confusQd look and a red fnce.
"Well. my boy , " said Colonel Parker ,
" 'ou must be a football enthuslnst. "
"No , sir , I ain't. I run do elevnt I
down to Morrison's. "
111:1 : Tics Or.\Vuts.
.An el1tm'llrlslnc dral1er In New
Yorlt emplo.'s an assistant who is par.
tlcularl. } ' expert In 111'I..tngluC cruvats ) . I'
. ht the most tashlonnble shapes , Thr
- asslstl\nt a ttQnds weddings aud holp"
) the bridegroom and best man to proll.
l ( crly adjust tht\lr tlcs for 10 &u pl ;
- clous an occaalon. ,