[
Custcr County Republican
w. ni.MM iiiti.v , i > iiiiinfii > f
llHOKICN HOW ,
fc _ rr
Not li mi ? succeeds liKe KHOCOKS I'Xi'i pi
iu Hiullu of 11 pretty \vomaii.
In Minnesota , when si man won't
ort li - wife they put him In prison.
I'hon ho can't.
There Is n nmrkod difference botwcon
upportunlty and a vacant loL 'i'hu for-
ner peldom IIIIH 11 sign on It.
Touching ( In- Turk ; or Who Orts
nicru Klrst" Is now tlio popular refrain
rltli the concert of the
They arc making war In Vlonim on
fto American shoe. Apparently they
kav found out wliotc It plni'lica.
A. Western man Bays he has been
writing verse for over a year , lint lias
ot exhibited any of It. Tlioie'.s a liu-
man.
A New York dispatch K'lys the blue
point oyster beds have In IMI ruined.
the ch.ince for the ; man who can make
Out bogus blue point lias m-rived.
Ootnplalnt la made by a IMttsburg
that American money Is "revolt-
ugly. " Shucks ! It always struck
u on being both tasteful and ornate ,
The truth of an editorial | H demon-
rtrnted In no better manner by its being
printed In MK black letters than are
ihc iiHHorvji lions of a man with it loml
roice.
President Uoosovcll IK as ndver.se to
bclnpc kodaked as President Mclvlnley
wu.s Indifferent to It. He does not be
lieve that public olllcc should bo n prl-
ratc snap-sliot.
\ An Alabama man returned to life Just
la they were lowoilng him Into the
jravc. This may not bo escaping by
the skin of the teeth , but It's getting
.jut of n pretty bad hol .
If tlio condition of tilings Is as bad In
Brent llrltnin ius It Is In sonic puts : of
ur own country the sooner the govern
ment IB taken out of the hands of the
politicians and given to business men
the better , and the longer It Is kept In
'business hands the better It will be.
But , perhaps , the trouble there would
ke. OH It Is here , to persuade the busiiii'S.s
men to lukc hold of It.
i A.new method for the use of detec-
Urea nnd antiquaries IH suggested in a
recent report < 'i the magnetle survey.
One of Us exploring parties was able to
ie.ll about what yoir : an old town had
been laid out by the amount of dolloc-
Uon of Its street lines from the true
north and south ; they knew at what
time in the past Unit had been the varia
tion of the compass In that [ ) .ul of the
.tountry , and their surmlsi' as to the ago
at the town proved correct.
The beauty of procrastination anil the
.idvuntngc of the sluggard aie not
ethical phrases , but they appear as alert
lort of subtitle to one comic epKodu
Uia terrible tragedy. When the Mount-
ir Islander was goh'g down In Alaskan
waters last summer , hurried warning
RraH nent to the Hti.toroom.s. One man ,
hulf-uwakened , laughed at what he
thought a false alarm , and tinned o\er
for another nap An Instant later no-
turred the explosion , which hurleil him
Into the air upon his mattress , which
mine down right side up upon the
.writer. The disaster occurred near
liorc , the mattress was eventually
hooked In , and the passenger \\its res
cued unhurt. This tale may be be
llcvcd only by the c who have i capt > d
marrelously the dangers of a toinadu ,
J ut It Is absolutely true.
The postotllce department Is not only
proud of the sticcc-ss of the rural mall
delivery service but notes in connection
therewith the effect of this service on
HID good roads problem. The depart
ment follows the policy of requiring
.applicants for the free delivery service
to put the roads over which the MMT ce
Is operated m good repair and to keup
them In good condition. It is the aim
of the department to Keep t.ib oa the
rends used by the carriers and If tii" ! e
hlchwuyrt get Into bud condition to re
quire thill they be repaired and im
proved on pain of a discontinuance of
the Hcrvlce. If this policy Is strictly
-edhered to It will do more for the Im
jiroreimait of the roads In the country
Jlalrlcts than all the State leg s niton
that has been enacted during a quarter
of a. century. The farmer * appreciate
fhe Hervlco and If the road olllcers do ;
not keep the highways In icpalr they
will be supplanted tiy UIOMC who will
do so. Better days are coming to llu >
/anil era of the middle west , They are
uot to be Isolated as In the past. With
dully mall service they can keep as
close touch with the affairs of the world
ns .the resident of the city. With good
country roads they can market their
produce when the prices suit them. And
wlicn these facilities tire supplemented
Jjy the Intel-urban railway they ! ea\c
little to be desired. Tlio farmer thus
becomes a suburban .resident of the
rUy.
Happiness on thrones ! There Is very
little of It , for money and power , and
Jewels , rare nnd priceless , can't buy
lovn. All the world look an Interest In
Holland's little Queen. She was so
iivoetaml fresh and pretty that human-
{ y looked on her wedding as u personal
ttfalr. Shu married big , ynllow-lwlred
I'rince ITenry , and the p-ojib' applaud-
d. They su.d : "Here I * true love A
good woman has crowtud a man's llfo.
They will be happy. They have every
thing that n human being could ask
for. " The doxpntHie * Hay Ihey ( jitur-
relcd. They say that the I'r'nce ob
jected to pltiyliiR " ( K'olld llddle to his
wife , and they toll of much nnh.ippines *
for the little Queen ami Iid : fieri tire"U
the part of her husband. She becjino
very 111. When she was hovering be
tween llfo and denth I'rlnco Henry de
parted on n hunting Irlp , and left her to
bear her sorrow and pain alone. Queen
Victoria's grand-daughter married the
I'rince of Ilesso , who had Hie b'ood of
a gentleman and I ho ln tnctH ! of a
clown , llo delights In coarse Jt tR , In
Insulting her guests , and she has loft
him , and will go to the divorce court.
King Alcxnttdcr married Mine. Dm pi.
and , because of love , or what the young
monarch fancied was love , he dolled the
courts of 1'Jurope , and precedent , and
the counsel of men In authority , , and
placed her on a throne. They quarreled
The continental papers say that the
King slapped the Queen's face after a
family Jar , and that the miserable wo
man took poison with suicidal Intent.
Happiness and thrones have very little
In common.
The plans now under way for the
Olympian games of 15)01 ) make It seem
probable that In the matter of variety
of interest modern athletics will have
a great advantage over their predeces
sors .Timing the ancients. The few sim
ple foals ( if skill and endurance which
won- applauded by the spectators In the
.stadium at ulympla will occupy only a
sin.iII part if the attention of the pres
ent imiuagc.'inont. Kae'ng. wrestling
and boxing are likely to be given a proper
or douToi' of prominence , but many
oilier things will be Included In the list
of events. Among these will be Includ
ed contests between lire rompan'es
from all the prlnc'pal ' oltlo of the
world , contests between the police de
partments of those same cities , contests
between the sailboats of all nations ,
contests In .swimming and diving ,
matches In modern games , Includ.ng
water polo , and many other menus of
bringing athletic prowess Into action.
The re-sull will be a dazzling kaleido
scopic display of the physical strength
and dexterity of the present age. All
this shows that men have made some
progress or at least some additions to
their powers and their Ideas since the
days of the glory that was Greece.
With all the splendor of their immortal
rivalry It Is not recorded that Athens
and Sparta ever brought off a contest
between the respective lire depart
ments or that the Athenian police force
ever challenged the coppers of Sparta
to a tournament. Ancient life hud Its
graces and beauties , no doubt , but it
was comparatively bald and undlversl-
fled. One finds few traces in ancient
authors of basket ball , bowling , golf ,
billiards , croquet. , pool , lacrosse , base
ball , foot-ball , cricket , hand-ball , hare
and hounds , leap-frog , polo , skutlng ,
curling , sculling , or the distinctions In I
horse racing between tioit'ng , running
and pacing. In those and many other
forms of athletic enterprise the ancient
were lamentably dotlclent. Tiie e tilings
the ancients shirked and left to p > ster-
Ity. Posterity has acquiltisl Itself no
bly. The man wlm cannot find In the
long array of modern sports some one
or two that please blm is probably
nvor o to sport of any kind. The o N
little chance , moreover , that this Inter
est In athletics will decline. Ft .seems
to increase every year. And what with
Improved athletics and improved vani-
tat'on ' there seems to be no reason to
think that tin1 human animal Is likely
to succumb to physical degeneration.
Tile liiinucuhh ; ( Joxvn.
A ( Jorman professor who lived at the
court of the I Mike of llrunswlck was
fond of astounding his- patron with
chemical tricks. One day he appeared
at dinner In a long white gown and sat
chatting as though that wore bis usual
dress. Presently It was noticed that
his odd costume was taking on color.
Klrst it turned to faint ro.se , then to a
deeper shade , then to pink , until final
ly , when dinner was over , the professor
walked out in a rob of dark red. He
did not like to betray bis chemical se
crets , but another chemist at the court
went into a long scries of experiments
on his own account and at length found
inn how the trick could he done. SVhen
I'.mewater Is poured on the juice of
the common heel , It blenches it. and
when white cloth Is washed In tlio com
pound It leaves no mure trace than wa
ter. Uul in a few hours after Hie cloth
has dried it will becomu as red as the
bed itself.
Military lUcycles.
itoth the bicycle and automobile arc
meeting with favor from the army au
thorities In lOuropo The bicycle has
I'cMscd to be considered purely a > a
moans of locomotion for pleasure , nnd
is now regarded as an etllcleiU mount
for .soidleiN. Kor scouting and the con
veyance of dispatches , the bicycle i.s
without a rival , being noiseless , occu
pying small space and affording a very
Insignificant target to the rltlo tire of
the foe. It U reliable , and ; i bicycle
company or division is very nubile.
The wheel also affords tl- enormous
advantage over the horse m that It re-
qulvos no forage supplies.
No Itoulx at All
Misirc.ss Did you loll ( he lady 1 was
out 'I
Servant < ! irlos , ma'am.
Mistress Did she seem to hart * any
doubt about II ?
Servant < ! lrl No , ma'am ; she said slit *
knew yon wasn't. Clasgow Times.
if a bo.K . perfectly healthy .in I nor
mal , a quart of ralsltu which he '
given to siono will dwindle to \\r \ \
pint before lie i > > through.
Had Ualw'ts tyo hanki n < rt KIM IIP men
(4an ( \ \ Ufa
INSPECTED BY AN INSPECT * R.
fitut the Mnti the Mmitiitm rnittmutcr
llncl llepti i note.Hi * i < < r.
Omaha was headquarters for tills en
tire district yearn ago. 'J ho chief Inspector -
spec-tor there wns Informed that a post-
maMer in Montana was not sending in
reports of his otllco receipts , etc. He
ponied letters and warnings had no ef
fect. Thp postmaster was nlb-nt.
At length the Indignant chief detailed
Inspector Kuray to proceed to Montana
imd investigate tlio Hlrunge silence.
After a long and tedious ride by rnll
nnd stage Kuray arrived at the provok
Ing postotllce. There were two dwell
ings In the town find but two men. One
of the small houses wits stocked with
a few drj good * , groceries and gonenu
merchandlho. Kuray entered and BUN
a lone , lank Individual on top of a conn
tor. Kuray asked where the postotlke
was.
"Hlght hyar , " said the tall ninn , puff
Ing ills col ) pipe.
"Who is the postmaster ? " asked Fu
rny ,
" 1 be , " was the Indifferent response.
"Is there any mall hero for me ? M.\
name Is Kuray. "
"Lnk yonder for y'rself , " responded
the postmaster , with another pull' at his
pipe , and lie pointed to a box at the oth
er end of the counter. The Inspector did
HO , ami then asked if the postal buui
ness there was always conducted in
uuch a manner.
"Why , sultlnly. " said the lank smok
er. The Inspector then announced blm
8elf , and proceeded in vigorous terms
to state the law regarding the handling
of mail and the absurdity of allowing
people to pick out their own letters.
"What yor goln * to do about It ? "
queried the postmaster calmly.
The inspector Edited sharply that If
necossury be could revoke the postinas
tor's commission at once , etc.
"Could yer take this hyar ollls away
from me Immediately ? " asKed the post
master In surprise.
"Of course I could , " replied the Inspector
specter tartly. "If you had rend the
regulations , you'd know Hint. "
"Wall , " said the imstma tor. straight
ening up suddenly nnd placing his hand
on Ills hip pocket in a swggestlvo way-
"waal , I'll jes' give yer ten minutes to
take It away , then. Yer the feller I've
been nwnltln' fer six years. Now I
kin git rid of this hyar durnod post-
oflls , an' I'll do It. Take It away. Mr.
Inspector , If yer value health an' hap
piness. After six years I'll git shut
of this ollis. Hooray ! Now be quick ! "
Arguments were futile. Kuray took
It away , and as tlio only other man In
own profanely declined the honor of
being postmaster the inspector discon
tinued the office , which accommodated
but oigtit people. Denver Post.
( | iuirmi > Accounts.
Indians who come In contact vrlth
whites soon master the tirst principles
of finance. They are likely to Impiovo
In this respect if we an.to Judge from
a story told by a Canadian m'sslonary
One of our Indian chiefs who knew
not n word of Uuglish , having learned
that wo sometimes employed an Inter
preter to assist us in translations ,
thought that he was entitled to com
ponsatlon when telling native story ,
or explaining some peculiar phrase in
hk own language.
.We sat in Ids lodge conversing with
him , * ud Jotting down tacts relating to
the traditions , folklore ami huiKuairos
of the people , when he said , in his own
tongue :
"You ewe me a dollar for that work. "
Without answering him we continued ,
and when we had tlulshed , he said ,
"You owe UKa dollar and a half. "
"All right. " said wo : and ihen wo be
gan tellliiir him some- stories of the sea.
the ililenf I lie while men , the queen
and her country , the construction of locomotive
comotive- : and steamboats , and numer
ous other fac s relating to the Industrial
arts. At the close we said , ' 'Now you
owe us live dollars. "
He laughed.
"Oome , " said we , "it is time we were
home. Give us two dollars , and that
will Bottle the account. "
,
ThrilHy Uuaronw.
The horrors of the advortSIng mania
are thus amusingly set forth by Mary
Cholmondeley In the Monthly Itevlew.
I hear that the white cllfl's of Albion
are no longer to be left out ! n the cold
as "spaces to let. " Possibly before
these lines tind their way' Into prim
Unit landmark of ICngllsh eyes and
hearts will bo transformed Into a belt
of lulvi'rtlsemenis which , 1 understand ,
will at night bo writ In lire.
In tbo no.\t war which the arrogance
of other nations forces upon us we can
Imagine as the hospital ships near our
shore , how the sorely wounded soldier
will iiy to the comrade who supports
him :
"I'm going' fiift. Hill. Is 'l.t.-mco' In
sight yotV"
"No. old ehap. It ain't. "
"lluvo wo passed hubby's UpSalvcV1'
"Not yet. "
While on ihe bridge the burly captain
pchps Into the night and says :
"Dash my starry topsails If we aien't
out of our course. "
"No. sir. " says the attendant bo.its-
ivaiii"that's Routing's Cough l.or.cngos
i-showln * up on our Ice now. "
\ > nil HunW , net.
Mr * . Rluegore I thought her divorce
suit wns to have come up in tiu > , l\mt
term of court.
Mrs. Swollman- wa.s , but she had
It postponed until the September term.
She felt It would be Impossible to so
iMire a decent audience during the sum
nier , as nearly every one Is out of town
Philadelphia Press.
iUoyulo Import * .
1'lnglnnd alone of all Hurnpcau conn
trlea allow * Mcyclc * to be Imports
free of duty.
ITROUBLE WITH THE
t.lltlL'tironmn Feeding , limn. , < ! * I'lnd
It II T I t ! I'.uieUp. .
Olio of the most dllllcult positions to
fill la the big retail csU UslimentM
where automatic cash register * are , n
ttso Is that of cashier. The quo-Moii
Is not HO much one of honesty as o ,
ability to perform the work day ny
day without too great a margin of
error.
None has found so great dllllculty In
this connection as the owners of ! ho
big quick lunch establishments , \\here
"change" lias to bo made quickly at
the rush ours of noon , and when but
little time Is nllo\\od tbo cashier to
check receipts with the figures marked
up on the register.
The cashier at one of the largest
downtown places was recently dis
charged simply because she was often
"oil' " in her change ; that is , the cash
register and the amount turned In at
night did not tally. U mattered little
td the company when there wa.s a
Hhortago , for according to agreement ,
the cashier made it up from her salary.
On many occasions there wa.s even
overcasb above the amount recorded.
The young woman turned In this over-
cash faithfully ; the company dis
charged her for luivlng any ovorcash
at all.
When the young woumii wa.s dis
charged , It may be noted Incidentally ,
she bad become a great faorite with
the customers , nnd when It was learned
thnt they were to see her no more be
hind the cashier's desk some one start
ed a petition , which was signed by over
COO names and turned Into the manage
ment. The management decided to
give the young woman another chance
If she would come and apply for the
position , which she declined to do.
Another cashier wa.s taken on In her
place and lasted exactly four days.
Another girl succeeded. She lasted two
days. SU11 another came and lasted
four days. In all eight girls wore tried
out behind the marble desk , and tbou
the company was no better off than at
first. Days came when there were
shortages to be taken out of the youii ?
women's pockets , and others when
they honestly turned in what was over
and above the amount on the cash reg
ister. But the shortage and the over-
cash continued , and the company has
decided to give up experiments and to
charge the dllliculty not to the incom
petence of the cashiers but the diillculty
to filling the position without mistakes.
The trouble Is said to bo that the 2,500
or 8,000 changes made during the dny
are not , as in dry goods stores or other
concerns , more or less scattered
throughout a day , but are all crowded
Into an hour or so. The mte at which
one girl makes change during that one
Iwur Is at the rate of 12,000 In u day
of ninehours. . New York Tlinea.
The khodlve of Egypt recently -cut n
present to Ix o XIII. In the shape of a
mummy , dating back to ' .GOO years be
fore the Christian era.
The latest craze among the Parisian
women Is that of fovcs , or rather fox
cubs , as household pels. They are so
largely In rcquust that the- little crea
tures are for sale now In the streets.
A salmon can leap to a height of
twenty feet. Tills has boon dofmmstra-
tcd by the fishery commissioners of
Norway , who , by means of standards
creeled below waterfalls , have meas
ured t'lio leaps of the agile tlsh.
D. P. Simpson , a horse buyer In north
western Kansas , has adopted a now
plan of buying horses. Ho pays so
much a pound. Good drivers are quoted
at 11 cents per pound , farm hor-e. < 10
cunts and ordinary plugs fi cents.
A novel system for heating cars Is
In vogue In Chrlstlanla and Stockholm.
Under each seat Is a perforated met. > l
lie box , and In this arc little red-hot
bricks of compressed coal , so prep.in d
that no smoke or odor results wnllo
they are burning.
Gaptiiin llernl.'X of Quebec is yl-in-j
iilug an expedition to the North Pol- . '
II will take with him large kites titled
with camerus. Those will unable lii'i.
oven if lu falls to met to the polo , to
take photographs of many point * wli'Hi
ho cannot reach.
The i.orn or solid H nk of lCn liiud
note is seldom seen. This is becuuso
uo note of this bunk is over reissued by
the establishment. When cashed , it I.s
kept and put aside for destruction. The
average term during which n note re
mains in circulation i.s about a mouth.
An Ingenious KYonehmun bus Invent
ed n nrtltlolul worm. It i.s niad of in-
din rubber , I.s Intended for bait , is n-
dostruotlble nnd I'omp'titoly fools tliu
llsh. With this worm no time Is lout
in bultlni ; the hook , : is there It reimm
until I ho llsliormiMi i-hooses to remove
It.
The stronjjeM animals exist entirely
on vegetable fo < Ml. It is the ferocity of
the lion rather than Ills stn-nu'th thac
makes him formhlab'o. ' An o.lopham M
a niiiteli for si-vcml lions , nnd l u vege
tarian. The : inmils ! : with inont sK'l | land
horse the iv'ndet-r '
and eiidunuioe-tlio , ,
l < ie antelope and others are ttlso veco-
tarlans.
The Department of Agrlciiltinv II.IH
recently published an estimate of t'u >
iiiilmul popnlutlDii of the oountry on
Jan. 1. I'.MNI. U romprlsixl in.fi.17 ? .l
horses , about two million mules , uboi t
twouty-oiuht million eattlc. tU.U.'i.O
Hllleh cows. Sl.R'sttMK * shwp. .Vs u Uo
mobile ( motion Is Introduced the num
ber of horses and mules will gr'd u h
diminish , and the off cot IB n'tondv ' . \ -
limit.
HIcli kin are usually of uo u ? ei v
to point At.ii pride.
" Hlni-nni'
A0 < "ltiutt ,
Tlio twelve year old son of an Irish
man , of Philadelphia , was thought
to bo 111 with smallpox , but after ati
examination the doctor assured the
father thtitJam.t'slo had no symptoms
of smallpox , but Wits stiller. ng from
an attack of German measles. At
that the old man grew very wroth ,
and began to pour the vials of his
wrath upon the head of Janu'slc.
"How olten have Ol t/Ulycx to
kttpo away from thim Hootch child
ren ? " he demanded. "See phwat
yoz pot for playln' wid thim. Now
fi s'pnse yox'H be lakm1 to tli' Gci-
111:111 : hospital , an' It'll serve ynz
might , yo young blti'guard.--
York Tribune.
Dritfnofl * Ciiintiit lie Cured
hrlocjit nppll itlnn- ; i- limy rnnnot roiich tlio
fll I'JlsniJ | llltlll ( ) O ! lie I'lir llllli'l > mil ) (1MB
R'ay tn I'liro ilmfiir , 'i'l ' tlii't IN livnui li i
tlonsil lowuilloIn ii i'-s l > i-aineif I' } . . .i > n
liiiiioil coiHlltUm ol llic nmruur llnini { ni 11,0
. 'lube. When Dili tn'of U inlliiinc I
( on liuto u iinnlilliii : - > tad or iin | > M'I ' ( IHMP-
WK , 1111(1 ( When It U rntlK ! y rln-i"1. Dcnt'ic , , ! ,
tlio Kiiiilt , ; intl mile--- ( lie Inivaui'Mii .in i
iHUl'll Ollt 'Hill Illl * I"1 ! ' 1C 111'1 ! IM I it >
riuiilltlnn , licarini' will I i > tin c i
UllM I ,1-1 ! i ( Hit Ol Ulll lllc l.lll d ! In < ! > , * . , , . .
ti i ' 'i notliliiK 1 ' an Inllaniuil condition of
Dm IIIIICIHI- , surface
\\'u will phc Oi. Hundred Dollars for any
ravu of Duafm-ss ( ruiiiwl hy rntnrrli ) that caa- |
uot bo cure fo.y Hall's Catarrh Curo. Suud for
F. J. CHKNKY & CO. , Toledo , 0.
by DniKfclsbi , TCo.
Hull's Family Flllft arc tbv best. ,
1\if l peiV ! ' \ot\in.
"ITow did \ n come to uet drunk ? "
DefendantKail h. yer honor.Ol'm
not to blame. Oi ditln t know what
Oi was dolri' . '
"You didn't.IIuu v , as that ? "
"Well , ye see , BorOl was under th1
Inihience av liquor whin Oi shtarted.
-Philadelphia Ilecord.
If yon wish beautiful , clenr , white clothes
nse Rod TOSS Hull Blue. Large 2 oz.
I'aoknue , 0 cents.
Work For Ilnd Actors
The Theatrical Manager "Do
you think that company of mine
ought to do anything on the road ? "
The Comedian ( after seeing the
company ) ' Yes ; I think they
ought to break stones. " Yonkers
Statesman.
AIIU YOUK CLOTHES J'ADIII ) ?
Use Red Cross linll Bhionnd make them
white again. J.arge 2oz. uucUnRc , 5 cents
A 81ininoloRH Maid.
Miss nighupp "I think Miss
fjlobetrott ought to be ashamed of
herself. She says she lound the paintIngs -
Ings of the old masters dreadfully
stupid. "
Miss Waytipp "So do many others.
Aliss nighupp"Yes , but she says
so. "
Uo Wouldn't Hit ronlnl.
It was In the middle of February
that an old hayseed was entertained
hy a Mew York cousin and tasted an
ice at dinner for the lirst. time. The
host called it "frozen pudding. "
lUit Uncle Trcetop didn't intend to
he fooled. lie took a huge mouthful.
When his teeth and mouth had re
covered from their unwonted chilli
ness , he turned to his host and said
with a wink , "Frozen pudding noth
ing ! That's snowball. " Ilarlen Life.
Tlicsu Arc 1'iiiin AVords.
Marshileld , Mo. , Jan. 20. Mr. .T. P.
King of this place makes the following
statement :
"I have suffered untold agony for
twenty years with Lame Hack and
Acute Kidney Disease , and in that time
have never been two days together
clear of misery , and for some of the
time I could not walk a step or even
sit up.
"Last spring , after trying many doc
tors and every remedy that could be
thought of , 1 bognn a treatment of
Dodd's Kidney Pills. The good results
wore almost Immediate and for the last
seven months I have seen more comfort
and pleasure than 1 have fov twenty
years before.
"Any one with Kidney Disease or
Lame Back that will not try Dodd'a
Kidney Pills deserves to suffer. "
Vtr > Powerful.
Mr. Blnks "The paper says a big
flour mill out west blew up yester
day. "
Mrs. ninks "La sakesl I 'sposo
It's where they make this newfangled
self-raising Hour. "
Mm. WliwIowJ. BOOrillNCr HVHUI1 for rlnMron
tri'tlilfiff , 'otteha the tinin * . f < * l > ifr * InttftUuhUun.
IU > | > Aln > curt * nlnd mile. U3e boll .
As a ruleIt takes only two seconds
for the lighting of a duel.
The fat man doesn't look as though
he ever felt a person-il slight.
L'eoplo who say "lleg your paidon"
usually take'it fur granted.
The new leaf that doesn't get
turned over must gof'turncd down. "
Kvcn the uneonviMted carpenter
may stick religiously to church work.
"No , " said the stieet car conduct
or , "a faro exchange is no robbery. "
"Wife of President Jnkenmn of
Elders of the Mormon Clmrch ,
SaltLuko City , Utali , Kccom-
mc-nds Lydia E. Pinklmm's
YctfolaWo Compound EorlVo *
man's Periodic Pains.
"DiiAii Mns. PIVKITAM : Hofore I
knew of Lydhi K.l'inkJmm's Vog
ctilblo Compound I ilrradcd the
approach of tbo time for my incu&trual v
period , as it would mean a couple of 7
BIRS. IfULDA JAKKMAN.
In Led with intense paiu and snf-
fering. I was under the physicians
care for over a jrcar without any relief ,
when my attention was called to Lydia.
E. Pinkliain's Vegetable Compound by
several of our Mormon women who
luxd boon cured through its use *
I began its systematic iibe and im
proved gradually in health , nnd after
the use of six bottles my health wa $
completely restored , and for OTer two
years 1 have had neither nche or pain.
You have a truly wonderful remedy for
women. Very sincerely yours , MRS.
Hur.nA. JAKEMA.N , SaltLnkeCity.Utah. "
$5000 forfeit If about tettlmonlal Is not genuine *
Just ns surely us Mrs. Jsilce-
man was cured .lust so surely will
Lydia 13. Piuklmm's Vegetables
Compound euro every woman
Buffering from uny form of female
male ills.
Mrs. Plnlcham ndvlses siclc wo
men free. Address , Lynn , Mass.
Hi , Kiiutr Thn Iiirt > ( lleiit .
"What did you find on that vessel
which washed ashore this morn
ing ? " asked the cannibal king ot
his chef.
"Only a shipwrecked shoemaker
and a case of sherry , sire. "
" 'Tis well , slave. Make me &
sherry cobbler for dinner. I have
often heard of such a delicacy. " Bal
timore American.
WHAT SETTLERS IN SASKATCHE
WAN VALLEY HAVE TO SAY.
Formerly from tlio United Stntea.
Rostliern , July 8 , 1 ! > 0 ( ) .
Frank Pedley , Esq. , Superintendent of
Immigration :
Sir We * tlie uuJersIgned , settlers la
Saskatchewan , township 43 , range 0 ,
foe to submit the following letter. Wo
came from Sprlnglicld , ISonhommo
County , South Dakota , In the spring of
1S)9 ! ) , and settled where we now reside.
\Ve Imd considerable crop last year
wo put in on new bronking , und It was
very good , and this year , 1000 , our crop Tf
is excellent. Our wheat will yield about
twenty bushels to the ucre , the oats
ami barley are also very good , and our
potatoes and root crop ull that could
bo desired. We eonsi ler this a Jluo I
country , and are glad sve came , as our
prospects eould not be better. A poor I
man will got a start in this country .
much ( inlcker than in Dakota.
We are yours respoot fully ,
John H. Sohultz , 11. A. Goshen , 3.
CJors , B. 11. Dirks , C. D. Unry , 1' . Unry ,
A. Katzliof. ull from South Dakota , ,
U. S. A. _
fnn't Hflp
He "If there is anything 1 detest
it's a flirty woman. "
She "Humph ! Why uot a flirty
man ! "
lie "Oh , well , a man has some
excuse. Women are so attractive.you
know. " _
Sweat and fruit acids will not dis
color goods dyed with PUTNAM
FADELESS DYES. Sold by druggist * .
Ilasbands in Lunehurg , Prussia ,
must be home at eleven o'clock at
night , or pay aline of about $2.50 ,
half of which goes to the complain
ant , who is usually the wife.
1100. will prwluc * 100 per crnt pront within ninety
ilujs Mourjr absolute ! ) wxuro. I'ruflu nuniinu-wl.
hivrslnu-nt tcctirred by the UrtftMl corporation In th *
ii/w / A Co. , U New Street , M w \ < > ilc.
"Ah ! " clred the balloonist/'tin
world is at my feet. "
llnlnly Now Novelties.
A pepper box In the shape of s
swan in old Dutch silver. A
Mounted as a stick pin , a slnglo
pink rose petal , In the center a whola
pearl.
Fans of duchesse lace with mother
of pearl sticks with forget-me-nots
painted on them. i
A crystal inkwell with a little red
imp in a peaked cap curled on the
ilver lid.
H J > n travi U tun nrdtai , u
u rl a tlti / tih.r Ttxr * ! r aMB
SALZQR'S SEEDS NBVKR FAIL.
.TM < r ill Mil .r liiUmiil Ul M > rr .lilitr'i Rt ii
V > tr. t * . In , tit | re r .f Viru l.
IBO Kinds for I6c , Postpaid
JOHN A. SA12ER SEED COMPANY , La Ciotw , WIi.