Cnster County Republican
. 1H. AMHIIKIIKY , Kflllnrniid I'nbllilifir
BBOEICN How , - NKIIIIASKA
IX alt women were liumcly nonu of
Ifccin would iluiv to be wicked.
Then- ! talk of n trleplionc enlilc be
tween tliln country nnd Htinlniid
'Would It work ? We don't know.
Me wan nn observing tnnn who ro-
thnt turn's nrKumenifl nre RIMI-
but an who of their wishes.
A womnu will dress for three lioun
to pnoar for twenty minute * at a re-
larepUoii , nnd ncrer notice the waste of
Utno.
Tdnntin In running a dcndljr race now
4rlu ntnallpox. You hare a cbnnce of
getting the fomipr by trjrlUK to avoid
fee latter.
The whole civilized world l tickled
fc > note the art with which France
troaglit that old dmd beat , the Sultan ,
to terms of payment.
A railway conductor In KMIISHM found
| 4.000 on the floor of n cur In bin train.
iThone Kaunas fanner * arc licfomlnc
Tcry enroll * with their mm II change.
Augustus Tlioma * II.IN brought out a
liew play called "Oolm.iilo " ( iivp Mr.
JThonniH ( MiuiiKli time Mini ho will IIHVO
rery Slate In the Union ilrniinillxwl.
A atppiiiollicr IMH bwn driven from
b r Lunbnnd'1 pretty IUIIIK * l > y MH
naujlitcrn' pwnlHtency In playing rax-
llmo mimic. IK this au argument for erA
A wife won Kmutcd a divorce In Bun
FranclHco liwiumo her liiiHband bnd
1rrJi her only 10 eetitH In woven
BontliH. How much do UIPHO women
it-ant ,
DlRCiinnlon of tin ; tnium Cement of the
feotul navliiKH bank In Knglai'd ' r -
alia the fact that our government ban
tot yet got around to establishing ttjl *
Iwflrnlile liiHtltutlou.
A Woatcru umii waa taken lck uud
WBAsltcd dtfht doctors , o after the
w&nr. lie declares that no two of
ftwn a reed on what wait out with his
featenial tackle , but that sir of thecu
lU < l ucr c on uu operaUou. Ho Is still
aud thoughtful.
did not swing Into tint current
ft modem life llko Japan under the
tafcderahlp of Mar < juU I to and tak her
miDoar tha vital , growing , push-
aatloas. Wedded to tli old cul-
looking backward and not for
ward. Olilna bos preferred Ixolatlou
eataltf ( u fellowship aud cordial
In the world's work.
frot. Vfotnuisea recenlly
* eMrwpondeut ot the Chicago Itccord-
ffcntd as to UK * condition of municipal
pvntfnment In Uhlcugo. YVu i told thnt
4t mm somewhat corrupt b replied :
* TOaa the future of" your city Is gloomy.
XHUflN are the blood V < HM < > . | M at the Qa-
ra ( f Uiey bewiiif comiitKd tlic
nKtciida throughout Hit' enUro
munltjr. " 'Hie snalcniy Is tr and
Ifco conduslou Indlsputabto.
The only tiling that really makes for
( peace flfeo lively ugulnMt war Ix the
fearful cost of war. Wo are n thrifty
people and we do uot like to pay lee
wtuch for the piper who plays ( tip pi
tux > cfe that knrlls for the onunt. We
4o aot fear death greatly , hut we Imve
* wholesome fear of occexslvc taxes ,
tasg drawn out. 'I'he economic argu-
Meat , aot the no-palled humiuio nppcul ,
to tbe clilef deterrent of war , ttt ( > beil
of peace.
lli ancient and honorable girild of
will look with scant favor
the n w theory that the Itowitgun
U a npecltlc antidote for the ab-
tesice of capillary Hdoriiment. Happily
Ibe dlscovorlivx of science , when re
duced to the practicability < f a medical
or urglcal cow , ar < not compuUory.
ate Indlvdunl who Ims potitnl for yeara
as an exponent o < the re ultx of uarly
4 > Inty or dalliance with the HliidontN
ildnlglit lamp Is not to IK * stampeded
jn U'oiinclaHtlc Mclentfr * ! Into a sncrl
fic of liln own ct'ou u of glory.
U may ! H > uiiforlunate , but It li
Uioi drttwt nnd iiiunnern count for
about UH much ait ability In Hie cup )
tola of lOurope and South , Vmerlca. A
diplomat who IK laughed nl In sncei | >
r-nn ! M > of little use to hln goverunieiil.
llr tows much of the goxslp heard in
clrclcM which a dlplnmat
to know , and he HUM-IN with cold
UOHH Inntoad of cnrdlallly at the foreign
otnce.rni general character of the-
4I ltcd State * repreNentntlvex abrond
Jiaw IMMMI raised of reeenl years. Itiil
JOongroBH IIIIK not yet appreciated the
vnlue of Die WK-lal .standing of the ( 'ov
To .Minnesota bt'longs the honor of
making wife tlchertlon a felony. The
liral convict Ion under the Mamie pass-
in ! by tint hist l.cglslaluiv of Hie Stale
IIIIH been recorded Previously In Mln-
an uoIn the American coin-
generally , the wife de-
IUIH gdiie sent free or been leni-
jwrarlly > iiibnrrai > si'd by a trivial line
which , too often , the deserted wife I'nis-
nl or earned the money to pay. In
Mlnnetjota now the wlfo do.serler eon-
.fronts n wholly new legal incline ! . If
Jiu have property IK * inuxt nut only cnn-
Irihiito out of It to lib * wlfo'w support ;
Ji nuiKt nt dm Manic time nt hard labov
nerve u penal noiilcnrc. If lie have 1111
prouertjr ho muut work under the an-
of HIP Htato a n ronvlot
IH an ndinlrnbli ! regulation mill ought tn
bu copied on the statute book of every
Ainorlcan coniiiioiiwcnlib. Only HUC'I
law Irt H'k'.juiilc ' to the crime of wife
desert Ion. Only Htieb n law will check
a Hhiimo whose provjilcnce Is lnr-ren -
Ing to n degree which threatens to bru
tnllxc Atucrlcau Hoclel.r.
It lu curious how one Idea can get a
grip on n man's brain and destroy uot
only his inoralH. but bin buslneaf nenso
and lia ! love for decency. The nuv
who collects bugs sometimes becomes
so wrnpped up lu hl fad thnt he knows
nothing but bugs. The stamp collector
who rnrrluM his bobby beyond the
boundt of reason would swap his soul
for n rare specimen. Some HIUII lack
the mental balance to successfully own
a bobby. It nin.stura them , aud once
mastered they are about its UBcless as
human beings cun well be. Twenty
yearn ago Frank Hrudley was gBUeral
Hupurlntcndent of the car works t
Pullman. Ho was no good a superin
tendent that be drew a salary of ? i0- !
000 a year. He bad n faculty of man
aging men , and he made money for hlu
concern. He got drunk on books. Tlmt
In almost literally true. A rare volume
would delight him more than a bottle
of champagne docs tbe lover of wine.
They were more to him than food , or
clothing , or music. Any habit or fad ,
no mailer how Innocent or elevating In
Itself , run lie made criminal If carried
to excess. Frunk Bradley spent the
last penny of his line salary for books.
He made bis home a IIUHCIIIII of urt
and brlr a-brac. To keep up the pace
to buy inure boolcx to satisfy his appe
tite for rare bindings and lltn > tcxtn ,
he became an cmbw/.lur. That was In
1S80 Not many weeks ago nn old man
appeared lu a Ohlcago police court.
Tbe clmrgo wns stealing a watch. Olll-
corn were In waiting to take the man
back to tbe Michigan penlUiiitlary to
flnltm out a sentence for forgery. Ho
was turned over to them. lie had al
ready served one term In the prison
at Jollut , III. His wife nnd children
died while he was In a cell. That wua
Frank Hmdley , the booklover and art
connoisseur. He Is tolling out hlu few
remaining days as a convict And all
because he WUH not master of himself.
It will bo a long tlzn before the abil
ity to make "the kind of doughnuts
mother made" becomes a determining
factor In the selection of a wife. At
least It will b a long time before a
young woman can actually reach the
heart of a man through the art of cook-
cry. The young man may be willing
to acknowledge that he admire * this
accomplishment ID a woman , but ho U
not "falling tn love" with cooks at the
prevent time. But we are moving along.
When tfrocda aud Hilda have driven a
few more men to drink aud wrecked a
few more household * the young man
who la looking for a wife may be con
strained to Inquire Into the culinary
possibilities of matrimony. H * may
ank his sweetheart , "Can you cook ? "
and If she. answers nay tticro ui f bo
a coldiiMu come Into his heart that for
bids ail poHulblo alliance for life. In
Now York the other day a young man
and a bashful maiden appeared before
a iimululfiit * ! to be Julr.uholy ! wo& >
lock. When questioned by the magis
trate as to the sincerity of h ( deulrco
the young man said : "Id van a cave of
lore ad der ( trad dinner. I go py her
houuc tindt poard mlt her fadder. She
coog dor dinner uudt Id van such a lofe-
ly cooglng dot I foil lu lofe right avay
alrclly. " The matrimonial wllleuuluin ,
of course , Is ( Hill afar off lu the lmry
future , but here Is u man who fell In
love with his Hweetlieart hecuuue of her
"lofely cooglng. " She probably never
heard of Wagner's "Uotterdamefung , "
und wouldn't know a Browning sonnet
from n haycock. Neither did she swish
the utimmphi're with a brawle on the
verdant lea and wear a red coat. She
just bumped right up against the young
man's cardiac region with her "lofely
cooglng. " IVrhapi If ttie example of
the New York luusle beciiuw suddenly
contagious the crop of nplusters who
look under the Irod every night "for s
mnu" would grow beautifully less.
.Sumptuary luw .
Lycurgus was perhaps tile first to
promulgate sumptuary laws , uud there
was n long string of ( hum. All respce-
lablo citizens wen * commanded to dine
at a public mcs * table , that they might
mil be enervated by overindulgence' lu
eating and drinking. Fifteen pcrsonx
were placed at a board , to which each
subscribed n monthly quota of provis
ions , and no dainties \vere purmlltcil.
One day Dlony.slun of Syracuse , who
was ii little fasttdlouH , nnide. a grimace
at ( he sort of food before him , N here
upon one of the guests remarked "Sir ,
had you been dipped In I lie lOurotns you
would Imve relished our broth. " The
Kurntas was the Chicago HUcr or Ha
vana Harbor of Sparla.
Siiimiliii ) < ; New In ship I'aint.
A nlilp biiltinu paint consisting ( if sea
weed ; \ \ hlch while green and moist Is
ground In oil and mixed with llthniKc.
lead acetate , turpentine and Unseed oil ,
has been patented in llnglaiid. The
coaling Is said l < > be not only a mul
protection against tulbeiliig of shells ,
but also prevents worms from entering
wooden ship bottoms op any wooden
submarine roust ructions.
nil 'ml I u in ill.if.
"Youieteh ! You miscreant ! You
worst of vllbiliis ! " e.xclalined the hero
I in. at rehearsal.
The lienv } villain , who bad Just Join
ed the company , looked patiently ag
grieved and said :
"WM'iitio me ; IK that lu the part , m
lire you acting us stage manager ? "
Waslilnglon Stnr
You'd be surprised If you knew what
people uuy about you.
GOOD
Short $ torie $
The late Downger-KmproHS Frederic !
Mice asked Bismarck to bring her i
glass of water , and , tin ho handed It t <
her , she said to n Indy-ln-wuitlng , wht
int near : "Ho has cost me > w man )
tears ns there are drops of water lu thb
glass. "
Aa a preface to his attack upon the
recent nnny appointment ? ) lu England ,
Uudyard Kipling tells a Htory of u mail
who was carrying a bug , uud of whom
a fellow-traveler asked what It wan
that the bag contained. "Mongooses , "
was the ntiHwer ; "my brother HCCH
snakes , nnd I'm taking the mongooses
up to kill them. " "But your brother
doesn't HCC real sunken. " "No ; but these
aren't read mongoose * "
On one occasion Hirns Hlcbtcr was
present at a concert given by u brother
composer , at which the latter perform
ed a long nnd not particular Interesting
work of bis own. When the composl-
tlon cnmu to an end Ulchter expressed
ils criticism lu u very few words.
"Well , " he mild , "I too hnf written compositions -
positions to mnko u pile so high , " ruin
ing his hand three feel from the
ground ; "but I haf burned them I"
Once , while Uiiiilul Webster was
Hpenklng In the Senate on the subject
uf Internal Improvement * ) , the Senate
L'lock began to strike , but Instead of
striking twlco at 2 p. in. , It continued
without cessation uiore than forty
times. All eyes were turned to the
uloek , nnd Mr. Welmtur remained H-
lent until It had utruclc about twenty ,
when he thus appealed to the chair :
"Mr. President , the clock In out of or-
fieri I have the tloorl"
In ouo of bin conversations with Au
gustus Hare , Chief Justice Morris mild
he was nlttlng on the bunch In Ireland ,
and after a case hud been tried he said
to the Jurymen : "Now , to consider this
matter , you will retire to your accus
tomed place , " and two-thlrdn of them
went Into the dock. Another time bo
said to a culprit : "I can produce five
witnessed who saw you steal that cow. "
"Yes , " said the prUouer , "but I can pro
duce five buudred who did not. "
It Is said that one evening when Or.
Friend was summoned from a rather
too festive board to the bedside of a
lady patient , ho fell h r pulse but
could not count Its bents. "Drunk , by
Jovel" ho soliloquized , and pulled him
self together sufficiently to order some
harmless mixture. His delight may be
Imagined when , the next morning , In
stead of au Indignant dismissal 'from
further attendance , he received from
his patient & confession that ho had di
agnosed her coniplalu quite correctly.
The Dulce of Wellington wa once
much surprised by receiving a letter
which he read aa follows : "Being In
the neighborhood , I venture to ask per
mission to sun sotno of your grace' ) * beat
brwchftH. 0 , London. " lie answered
to the Bishop of London that ho had
great pleasure In assenting to his re-
iiueat , though he must confess It had
given him very conslderablu surprise.
London House WUH I brown Into confu-
ulon. The note was from London , the
great gardener , nud "breeches" should
have been read "beeches. "
PAYING OFF AN OLD SCORE.
Cralrle Dogs Oot Kveti with Their Old
ICnemy , the ! < uttlcniinkc.
U Is a familiar story that rattle-
( nake.i arc often seen entering or leav
ing thu humble tenement of the pralrlo
dog. The sight gave rise to the belief ,
formerly held , that the reptiles ami the
Kiimll owls which also frequent the.su
underground dwellings are on ( lie beril
if terms with the prairie dogs , and that
ill live together , a "happy family. "
That belief In uow known to bevltb -
mt foundation , and a cattleman , of
whom thu New York Tribune tells ,
once witnessed a scene which shows
lhat the rightful owners of IbMe prai
rie homes , although sometime * forced
lo submit to eviction or Intrusion ,
know how to balance tbe account \vhou
the opportunity olTern.
On thin particular occasion tint cntUu-
inan was riding after some steers. He
managed lo get clo.se to a colony of
( iralrle dogs , and slopped to watch
their quaint antlc.i.
Considerably apart from tint others ,
iwo dogs were sitting with their uosos
: lose together. They appeared to be
iiuch concerned ever tbe uiovemeulH of
l big rattler which was la/lly crawling
Ibout near them. When the nnake
uoved a length or two thu dogs bt'cnino
'xcllcd and danced IlUe Hole lunatics ,
( nit when lie coaxed Ills motion thurw
they were , with their lumps together ,
managing somehow to keep abreast of
tliu without seeming lo follo\\ him
Once the snake culled , and then the
logH had business elsewhere , but when
lc straightened out th * y were close
beside him again.
The ratllur lu ( lie course of his wrlg-
clingK came to a hole an I sioppud
here , as If undecided whether it would
ie worth while lo enter or not. The
jrairie dogs began lo act lu au mine
Miiiitable manner , asi \ they had been
Veiling on loco weed and suddenly
'ell Ils effects. They dance I on one
Uud foul and rolled over. They dash-
d up behind the snake as If tlioy were
Idling to push him into the hole , and
( very little while they would come to
illoutlon , with noses together talking ,
lerhajm.
The tituiko soon began to slip Into the
lole. The dogs , although Intent upon
ils movements , remained perfectly
| ulet until Hie last of him had dlsap
iiurt'd. Then they > ; ot lo work lu earn-
it , uud the way they kicked dirt Into
that hole would put a railway
hand to Hlinme.
They worked systematically. iVhei
Uiu entrance wan well tilled with IOOB
dirt they tamped It and then threw li
more dirt , and lamped that. The :
wore not sntlsllrd until the entrance t <
that hole wa blocked and packet
down with dirt until It was as nolld ai
the original sod. Then tbe little ras
cals sccmo'l greatly amused , And rub
bed noses tlmci Innumerable befon
they dnnccd off to Join their friend :
nnd relatives , apparently with the in
tnntion of telling them till about It.
THE MIDNIGHT SUN.
Illnzo Would Itavn Hceti Cotttj Had I
Iliippeticil In tbe Mglit.
Mr. lUiiHom's nephew was building
a house , but an uninitiated person , see
lug Mr. Ransom's dally supervision ol
work nnd workmen , would have been
convinced that ho himself was tbt
rightful owner of the new cottago.
One day , while making his dally tout
of Inspection at the noon hour , hu dis
covered a little bunch of shavings on
n window sill. Seizing them In his
land , bo hurried downstair * and out to
the big elm tinder which thu carpenter
and Ills two assistants wor * eating
their dinner.
"Seo what I found on the wluder-
cilgel" he demanded , pointing an ac
cusing linger at the carpenter.
"Seems to be n clump of shavings , "
aid the man , wonderlngly , as he
iiunched a doughnut.
"Ye.s , sir , that's what 'tis. " declared
Ir. Kuusom , "and I'm s'prlsed to think
mnn o' your experience should 'low
uch doings 1
"There was a man In South I'lymp-
on , where I wni railed , that was
building him a bouse with huU's-cyu
wludur pnncs In the wludurs. The men
hat were ii-worklng on the house loft
bunch o * shavings no blggcrn thin
one ou the winder ledge , and th sun
VI\H terrible hot , name as 'tis to-day ,
and It made a focus through that winder -
dor pane , and what happened ?
"What happened ? " repeated Mr. lUu-
soui , with Increased solemnity. "Why ,
the shavings kelchcd tire , and a l > | ait *
started , that's what ! "
"But there ain't any bull's-eyes round
ioro , " suggested the carpenter , mildly.
"Makes no odds , oue way or t'other , "
replied Mr. KauHom , severely. "What's
lappened once one way may happen
lexl time some other way ! "
"Did the bouse buru up ? " taqulreit
one of the other men , with a natural
urloHlty.
"No , It didn't , " admitted Mr. Ransom ,
'but lhat was Just by good luck. 'Twas
the uoou hour , and [ was tuero , for tht
nan was a friend o' uilue that I'd
known front boyhood , so the blue * was
put out. But s'pose It had happened In
the dead o' night. The whole bulUtlnr
would have gone. Nothing coy Id hav
saved It. i tell ye , ye can't bo too
careful 'bout things u' ttit
Youth's Ooiupauloa.
An Up-Country Rising.
Ill spite of the old saylug , tut iarryr
who conducts his own CUM dot * uot al
ways have a fool for a clleut. Tha Horn.
Jeremiah Mason , who wan admitted to
the New Hampshire bar lu I7U1 , was
51 man of great heigtit , but durftig the
early part of his prufe/MionaJ uarear ,
says the Oreen Rag , wau so slight and
apparently frail In build that , i
phrase Is , "he looked like a boy. "
Traveling once In n stoJga artr k
great suowstonu , ho met a v nntrjr-
iiiiui In a similar conveyance. Mr. Ma
son turned his hrirac and sleieii a far
to one sldo ad he conveulwitlf c uld ,
and courteously rnqueMted kh tiw
periKiu to do the same.
The other man , however , was atardj
uf figure and stubl > oru of natur , anU
Luklng Mr. Manon's wurtroiu speech ai
a sign of a eraveii spirit , hn r runed to
budge an Inch , and demanded a fr t
way for his vehicle.
At thin Mr. Mason's ny < M dMhed. Thu
lay was cold and he had sunk deeply
ntii the robes of bU high-hacked itetgU ;
liit now he drew himself up and sat
lirect on the sent for n. moment ; then
lie began slowly to divest himself of
lilft wrappings and to get upou his fe t ,
gradually displaying bin rmil propor-
lions to the tiHtontwhed eouutrymau ,
who oxtlalmed :
'Hay. mister , you ne Mu't ri ir
more. I'll turn out I"
Editorial Koopoiifiiblllty.
The tixxililes of ( be literary man art
icldom better enempllllod than Ui the
MIND of the seedy looking ( o t who
ivuudored Into an i'lngllsli oewspapor
itllre , venturing to hope that HIP * dl
or would accept hlu offering.
" ( ilvo me your addroun. " Maid the Ml
or.
"That , sir , " wit * the frank rn y. " 1
tends entirely ou yourself. "
"On myself V said the au ! ( nUhc < l < ll
.or. "How so ? "
"Well , you see. " went on th * iin-
iliasbod poet , "It's ihls way ; If you
al\o the poem my addreNM will remain
F7 King street ; If you don't take it 1
iball have nn address. My landlady U
i woman nf her word. "
flrnvn Wild uu Kutt.
Tlie Mlau-tsK.e , a trllie In Ahia. will
lot bury H man until thc > IISTP rirt
ertted the ground with an egg.
This operation Is curious. Whllo llm
tody U being p < x > par < Ml for burial , n
lumber of Mlau-tH/.o. Including ih-
nale relallvivi of the ilm-eas < vd , s > out
0 the appointed spot , hearing a isrgv
mskel ( f OKK -
Stooping down , one i f the i < tlrf
ul.s an egg drop softly on HK > ground
Is breaking Is considered an III onion
Hid another spot Is selected. In I til *
vny the party often wander about for
muni , dropping eggs until ime itrlUoH
1 place whore the shell does not
The undrnpcd truth docuu't always
v up lu a beuy wtory.
f
8W
Rev. Marguerite St. Omer Briggs ,
Mount Calm Street , Detroit , Michigan ,
Lecturer for the W. C. T. U. , recommends
Lyclia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.1
"Dr.AR MRS. PINKIIVM : M" professional work has for the pist : ,
twenty years Ijnnt lit me i > ! ' . 's r-f I - . " , of siclcnc.ss , ; r. . li
I htve had piity : of opportunity to witness the sufferings of wives
and mothers \.iio from want , ignorance or carelessness , arc slowly ,
but surely being dragged to death , principally with female weakness
and irregularities of the sex. I believe you will bo pleased to know
that Lydia E. Pink 1mm' * Vegetable Compound has cured
more women than any other agency that has come under my notice.
Hundreds of mien o\vc their life and health to you to-day , and , there.
: orc , I can o cicniioii ly advise sick women to try it. " MAKGUEIUTB
ST. OMKRGO ] ; .
$5000 FOi ; KIT IF THE ABOVE LETTER IS NOT GENUUTB.
Whou women arc troubled with irregular or painful menstruation. ,
weakness _ , Jcueorrnrea , displacement . . _ or uleeration of the womb , that . . bear-
Hii/lr\T rT fVm 1 tftf ! * 4J i ! f it * *
. , . . . ,
- .w * * * v UA.A.L UIAU. n n u Xycliiv
vcgotable Compound at once removes such troubles.
edic"10 iu tuo world has received such widespread and
unqualified ondoraement. No other medicine has such a record of cures
ot icmalo troubles. Refuse to buy any other medicine.
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick women to write her for adrico *
luui guided tliouawads to health. Address , Lynn , Mass.
Lnv * und H/iupalhy
Love and sympathy arc common
enough thlnjjs , perhaps , but , oh , how
pitifully slow they sometimes are tc
fladden our homes ! B'umilies will gc
.hroMdh life loving each other , reacty
to make almost any sacrifice for each
other and yet holding back eiprea-
stons of this lore and readiness tc
serve as though the/ were Bomethinjj
to be ashamed of and concealed. Now
and then , in time of great strain 01
anguish , the oruot nlll be. broken foi
a brief instant , aud the heart will
roT l itaelf. But a return to the
normal conditona , and the love tb
sunshine will be overshadowed by a
cloud of reserve , abiding j Bt as
strong and true , perhaps , but not
atnlllar enough for every day use.
Not all are like this , thank God !
There are some vrhoae lives are an
open nd sunny as days in June , aud
> etwe u whom and those around
.h . ui there fa no timidly and lack ot
fruukutM. Such as these are true
missionaries in the world , rising
bove reserve and misgiving and re
pining , aud making all around them
more beautiful and glad by tb sunny
naplration of their presence.
Un. nU toornilfo STBUr t r UUJr n
< t.n ji. Ik * tuxi. rwincii UI MHM H ,
H , bcttl * .
Mot-bar ( just before Christmas )
"Why did you Jump aud Jim when
your father came in ? "
Daughter "I had a lap full of
Christmas presents. "
Mother "Bub they art not for
him. "
Daughter "No , but J wanted him
to have the plewsureof thinking rbey
were. "
A UouM'leneioui D al > r.
Indignant female -"That lamp
you sold me exploded , and burned
down the house. "
Dealer "Well , mum , I'll give you
a new one. "
"A new house ? "
"A new lump. "
Jfahttburtatit/ In I'Ht
Ttlrt.
1000 = l Par . -
1901 = 1.606,720 Pairs.
BHBBBBBMBBBBHMBBKML.
Than Douttul In Ftur ff f *
THE REASONS I
W.I , UuuyliuuitlM . . . fllUROf < m < n'ltlOuaul
t * to theft ltnn i lif < lw inu'n In lh . worm.
W. I. OonrlK ' nl U W > L HUM4 D it > j
jlj rrllh ii O ) n4 '
fuutkt lo l > * Jiul 'aM5"v"Vv ? BO
P ; 1 entu ry g
Mult / tUf > itaA rtB /k/ / / f raiint
Ceroa * M < 1 , OHM * Oilt , anil taifrtt.
,11.4
SI > u .li 3c. vxlra
> \ _ \V. L. a . l trocfc > ii.
AnliiinloTlint
Do animals weep ? Exlporers say
they do. Lady Burton says she has
seen horses in the Syrian desert cry
from thirst , a mule cry from pain of
an injured foot and a camel abed
tears in streams. Gordon Cummlngs
declares that he lias observed tears lt
the eyes of a dying elepbanj , and Dr.
Livingstone used to have a peb ape
that cried when the explorer would
not take it Jn his arms. Wounded
apes have died crying , and apes have
wept over their young ones slain by
hunters. Sea lions are said to cry
for the loss of their young , and a
giraffe that had been Injured by th *
rifle of a hunter begun to cry. An
other explorer tells of a chimpanaee-
that had been trained to carry water
Jugs. It let one fall aud break and
In its sorrow set a-crylng. There
seems to be little doubt that ainraul *
do sometimes cry from pain , iorrovr
oj annoyance , but , as a rule , we can
not catch the watchdog in tears or
the family cat , having a "good cry. "
How'i Thin ?
We oCer 0 Utuidrcd itoUin NH for aa ?
* < of CaUnb thai ctanol ) w * ur 4 If 1US5 *
'
F. J. OHRKET & CO. . Tte4o , O.
Wji Uie uadHl nMI hat * kMW F. J. Cheaay
Jea - a1 k U Tt bbt porfaelr/
f usl&OM tnuwi tltUM Md BMii
lo nj out ujr ) > ttfn M auuie > J
Him.
.1J s * ' * * ' "h"kure h * * * latent * ?
" " - th * bkxul and KUMMM
. Sold by all .
Uall's K.iully I'lim rV b st.
An imperious young Jady , a school
teacher , who Is in the habit of utlng ,
lofty language , called in a drug stora
in Court street , near First Place ,
Brooklyn , and Inquired of the clerjii
"Ahl can you inform me as to tn
abiding place of a young reporter
who dwells In this neighbrohoodfv
His cognomen is Iladley , and for
years he was 'Implicated' on the >
Brooklyn Eagle. " She evidently
meant 'employed. ' "
1" some of the hotels in Sweedea
women are entertained at less cosi-
than men , because , as a rule , they d
not eat so much. A man and wllo
are chaiged as one and one half persons -
sons if ( hey occupy the same room.
Mat Kvonnmjr.
Customer "You advertise carpel
remnants , 1 see. 1 want two , one U
cover the parlor , and the ohter foi
the .sitting room. "
Salesman "But , madam , a carpel
as largo as that would not be a rein.
mint. "
Customer "Oh , yes , it would. )
live in a Hat. "
A husband aud wife may travel
as one and one half poisons by raiV
way.
POPHAM'SASTHHA SPECIFIC
t CouKh Bjrup.
In time , fkild b
N.N.U. NO.702-3. YORK.NEB