etty , or j be nldfle.
By J. II. CONNELLY
CcpyrtBht , 18OT d im bjr Itnbert lion rr' Son * . [ All ilshti
CHAPTER XV.Continned. < . )
The day watchman of the ferry com
pany , smoking his pipe on the bank us
John drove down by him , warned him , IIH
be did all who seemed to be strangers.
"Tho Ice isn't as safe us it has been. "
"But they are still crossing on It , " nn-
ewcrcd John , nrgumentntlvely. "Thero
to a cutter just starting to como across
flrom Pittsburg now. "
"Oh , yes. They do. And they will ,
until somebody breaks through nml Is
T * . v M * - Browned , I suppose , ns they do uvcry
* " < 8P winter. I don't say It Isn't safe enough
yet for a single horse and cutler If jou
are caieful ; bill you'll hnvo lo look out
, you don'l gel off llio curving track that
IB marked out. There nro thin patches
( Snside Ihu bends , both ways , where It
jrniildn'l be safe for a mnn lo go nfool ,
Pol alone drive a horse. "
"Thank yon heartily for the caution , "
replied the young man , gathering up Ills
reins , "I'll Htick to the road and go fast"
"Thai's the snfesl way. "
And fasl John did go. Whether the
black horse was inspired by the novelty
of trolling upon no level n lloor , nml feel-
ng the cutter Jinnlly a feather's weight
behind him , or whether he was conscious
thnt thure was danger In giving tlie ice
< lmu lo crack under htm , none may say
font whatever Iliu cause , ho went ncross
iwoll inside a thrcc-miuuto gait lie was
otlll slowly mounting thu steep , deeply
Icuttcd road from the river Into the city
when a two-horse sleigh , with two men
n it , dashed across the bridge \ or SawMill -
( Mill Run from Tompcranccvillo into
Bonth Pittsburg and down thu slope to
thu ferry landing.
There the faithful watchman halted
them , to repeal the warning vhe hud
given to John Cameron a few minutes bo-
fore.
"You'd holler nol BO oul on the leu
Nvith that double-team ! " ho cried lo them ,
"Why not ? "
"The ice may not hold you. It has
been gelling weaker for sover.il days
past , nnd heavy teams don't chance ll
any more. "
While hu wns speaking , Ihe cutter Jollc
bad remarked starting from Plllslmrfc
readied thu bank and came slowly up.
"Ho seems to have como across al
right , " argued Simeon Mulvell , who was
, . . ouu , , f iju , , | n tiu fduij. ] jut-king his
bead toward the man in tin ; culler.
"Oh , yes. But thuru's only one ol
falni and onu horse. "
"How's tlie Ice ? " shouted Rufua Goldie
. .
* go DL , , lonely driver.
"Good enough , I guess , " the man re
plied , with an air of indifference" , ulop-
ping to let his horse rest u little.
"Did It crack much ? "
"Not thnl I noticed , only about the
Middle , where I met n cutter going the
other wny , nnd thu double weight made
Ct holler somu. "
"Did that cutter have n young mnn
end a girl In It ? " demanded Simeon ,
agcrly.
"Yes. "
Witli nn oath nml without waiting for
any further Information or hearing the
miming cried after liiin to "stick to tliu
road , " Simeon gnve his horses the lush ,
and they plunged dowu Iliu bunk and out
on tinice. .
Instead of following llio Ions , curving
awcep of the comparatively safe track ,
fae drove In a straight line toward the
landing on thu farther side of thu river.
ITho ferry walchnlnn and tliu man In thu
cutler , Ihe latter standing up In his
vchiclt ! to neo betler , watched in silence
and with staring eyes tlio progress of
tthe foolhardy travelers. Tliu sluisli
crossed thu first thin Held of leu and
passed the middle of the stream in safety.
"CJosh ! " exclaimed Ihu watchman.
"They'll do It ; but I wouldn't try it for
. farm. "
At that very moment , when the swiftly
flying vehicle was within a hundred
yards of the PIttsburg shore , horses , men
and slulBh suddenly disappeared from
Bight. There was no struggle , no re-
iippenrancu nnd batllim. for life , nothing
Out a wide circular oxpansu of water , that
looked black , and in which big pieces of
Ice slowly came to the surface uud lazily
drifted down to thu lower Hide.
CTIAPT13U XVI ,
The luvc-rs knew nothing of the Iraplc
( nclilenl lhal had occurred behind ihciu.
ffhey wore nol even aware thai they had
boon pursued , nnd wen > quito happy hi
the confidence thai
their troubles were
practically at an end Ihu stale of mind
thnl is the roso-Burlnmli-d door through
Which Fate ilellBhts to usher the'way
furor into Ihu cliamher filled < vith her
mosl nliominalile surprises. Cloudless
klc-b niu those least to bu trusted , for
Kkles , like all thinjjs else , must chnnge ,
and lo them nil chniiBu must bu for the
worse. They smllu most when preparing
Co overwhelm us.
Joan drove to the old Farmers' Inn ,
fcept by Andrew Robinson one of the
family from which Robinson's Run took
Its name put his hone and euttor In
chaw of n hostler , led Ilclty to the sit-
UtiK-room and sent for the landlord. An
drew was believed to bu personally ac
quainted with every adult in Washington -
ton County , and was ho universally pop
ular among them Hint , so far as they
were concerned , his was the only house
of PiUvrtnlnuiont In the city. Thu genial
old tellow deserved the regard in which
tic w s held , for ho was honest , Mud-
henrtf.l and generous , worthy traits of
character thnt were shared by his excel
lent wife , who was quite content to bo
his equal , without claiming to bu his
better" half. Thai ho was fat , some
what bald , somowhnt glow of speech ,
nd. in somu inexplieablu wny , had
picked up u straiiKu Quaker habit of
epe&ch In no way dolracted from his gen
eral merit.
Fooling Instinctively well assured of his
iiympntlu'tlc Interest , John told him all
about the olopomcut , as far ns It hat
pone , and demanded hia aid In the fur-
tier steps necessary to realization of
tbelr hopts.
"Why , to be uuro , lad. I'll stand by
theo like a brother n.s I would have
stood by thy old father before Ihcc , who
was my good fili'tid , had ho called upon
mo in lllto ease. Bui Ihoru is nothiii' , '
to bo done Ihis day in the way of marryIng -
Ing , It is now sun-down , nnd the lieensu
cannot bo laken out before to-morrow
morning. "
"In n license needed ? "
"Fora tine , lawful , binding marriage ,
yes. Theo nilghl go lo a squire , as , in
deed , persons of small consideration in
the community do sometimes from
choice and more often by necessity lint
such n way of taking a wife is not uiL-et
for n Cameron ; nnd unseemly haste is
nol demanded of theo by llio circum
stances. Theo has cunningly thrown
thy pursuers off thy track and may rest
in peace this night To-morrow Ihou
inaycsl take In a seemly manner thu
most serious step lo which thy life halh
yet brought theo. Bethink tlu-e , lad ; the
taking of a wife is not a Ik-lit thing , like
tlie buying of a cow. It Is not thy hap
piness only , but thy honor and thnl of
thy father , nnd n long line of Cameron's
behind him , thou will put In llio hands
of lliis maid. When Ihou dost call her
'wife , ' she will have one foot upon the
step where now stands thy good mother.
Doth not tills seem then to tliec n grave
lliin ; ; , 111 lo hu done solemnly , with duo
consideralion , tinder nil required forms
of law and the blessing of CZod ? Come !
Look not so glum. Thou knowest I am
right. I will call dowu Bolsy , my wife ,
and put her straightway in chaw of the
maid , thnl in no cuso ot misadventure
may sciindnl over wag Us venomous
tongue against her good imnio. "
"Why , nonsense , man ! No misadven
ture can happen. Isn't Ilutty with me ,
and won't wu bo married to-morrow ? "
"Oho ! So theo lias in thy pocket a
guarantee that thou wilt live until to
morrow ! Do , for the love of heaven ,
show II lo mo , John. Never hnvo 1 be
hold such a bond , and upon my soul
there Is nolhing I have so much desired
to see in all my lifo. "
John rather sheepishly admitted that
I''ate ' had given him no such security ,
though ho deemed there was not much
room for question in the premises. But
ho was sensible enough to see thai thu
landlord's advice was good and accepted
it gracefully , even gratefully. Hetty ,
too , who had kept very quiet notwith
standing n keen sense of disappointment
and anxiety , looked much relieved. Tlie
woman's bug-bear , "being talked about , "
hail loomed up In terrible proportions be-
foru her when the old landlord's few
words had set her thinking what people
might say , even after John nnd shu were
married. /
Busy ns her mind had been with tlu1
future the night before leaving homo ,
certain contingencies , which now seeiucil
the most nnturnlly-to-bo-i'xpected things ,
had not occurred to her ; first and most
serious among them , that slu * and John
might not get mnrrlod that day , and shu
fell that had this seemed probable ohe
would hardly have had llio courage lo
run nwny with him.
At hur husband's cnll of "Motherl"
promptly camu Mrs , Betsy Robinson , a
short , plump woman with a kind , mother
ly face nnd hnir thai where ll wns
smoothed upon her temples looked white
and glistening like pearls tliu only indi
cation of age In her appenrnnuu. Hnv
ing explained the situaliou , thp Iwo went
out , leaving her nloiio with the girl. >
"And so this is Hetty Mulvell ! " exclaimed -
claimed the old lady , In a tone that
heemud both n welcome nnd n caress.
'Dear me ! Dear me ! Why , I knew
vour mother , Hetty , when she was n
Wright , beforu she beenmo n Mulvell ;
nud I'M ! seen you , too , my dear , hut you
were too small to remember It If I remember -
member rightly you called mo : 'Ga-gn'
or 'Nii-nii' or something of that sort
And. laws-a-massy , it does boom like that
was only the other day ! How times does
fly , lo bu biire ! And here you nro a
great , big , line-looking young woman ,
running off to be man led to your lover ,
who looks like the sort of chap worth
taking such a risk for , 1 must say. But ,
tell me , my dear" ami t > he put her arm
caressingly around the girl's waist "why
did you run nwny from home ? Was It
mamma who would not consent , or did
papa make thu trouble ? "
"Father died several yenrs ngo , " an
swered Hetty , sadly.
"You don't tell mo BO ! Well ! Well !
So he did ; I remember , now. But I hud
forgotten it. And no wonder I did.
What , witli the eternal coming nnd go
ing nil the time lu a place like this , there's
no Keeping track of who in alive and who
U not. So It wns mamma ? And why
did she object to your lover ? As ouc
of the Ciuuerous lie ought to bo well off.
Isn't he ? "
"Oh , I guess sol I don't kuow. I
never thought of that. "
" 'Ml I suppose not. It muy seem
* t-V UN tt fS * * * TS * * "ft *
to yon like n linn ) thins to nay , my child ,
but Hint is unu of the IIrM thlngM to con
sider. Is In * imyllilng to tha widow
Mary Cninoron , who used to ' . o a Me-
Donga I ? "
"She In his mother. "
"Oho ! Then no fear but ho IH all right
for menus to keep a wife. Is ho wild ? "
"John , wild ? Oh.no ! Not nt nil. Not
HO far as 1 over heard , niiyway.V
"Then why Is your mother opposed to
him ? "
"Because ho is a Cameron. "
"Oh , what a foolish woman ! The Men
of keeping up thnt old grudge to such an
extent ! I thought it had died out ycnr.s
ago. Well , such nonsense does nol deserves
serves lo be countenanced , my dear
child , and it will not be Betsy Robin-
sou's fault If you don't marry the man
of your heart to-morrow , no matter whnl
mamma may tliinl ; aboul It , But lo-
nlglil you'll have lo be content to bldo
with mo. Nobody can over fiiy n word
agalnsl you when II Is known that you
have been with mo , Ihe same as one of
my own girls , from llio lime you cnmo
lo town with your lover until you Blood
up before llio minister. Young ns yon
nro in Ihe ways of the wicked world , my
denr , and thinking no evil yourself , you
know little of whnl Ill-miiidod persons
tulghl Hay if they were given the least
opportunity for talk , nnd it Is best , be
lieve me , to do as I say. "
"Oh , I will , Mrs. Robinson just what
ever yon Hiiy. Yon are very kind , I'm
sure , and I know yon nro right. I
wouldn't hnvo run nwny ns I did if 1
had not expected we would bo married
to-day. That is I hardly think I would. "
"Of course , you wouldn't , or else yon
ivould , and it don't really made any dif
ference which , now. " laughed Betsy ,
good-huiiiorodly , ' 'for I'll see that every
thing is all right. When you arc going
home , I'll give yon a letter to bhow to
jour mother , nlong with your mnrrlngo
lines , nml if she hns even n little bit of
sense , she'll make no more fuss. And
I'm not going to bo too hard on you. I'\o
been young myself. After supper , I'll
let yon and John sit up lu this room un
til ten o'clock. No person is likely to
come in , because there are few in the
house , tliu roads being so bad now , ex
cept men , nnd they dou'l come iulo the
sitting-room much. Bui you must como
ir * m MKM
I w * cjari vix 5
' ' \
CROSSING THE MONONGAHHLA ICE-BRIDGE.
to bed at ten o'clock. Remember that. "
"I'll not forget , " promised llctly ,
laughing and blushing.
John accepted the conditions with sin
cere thanks , and did not attempt lo Ires-
pass upon thu tlmu-limit thai had been
set. But lie took every minulc of hia
allowance , uiilil thu clock was actually
striking ten , and in Unit long , uninter
rupted happy talk , thu young couple set
tled thoroughly their future , for al least
a very considerable distance ahead
quite forgetting thai lovers' plans , like
dreams , are most liable lo "go by con-
trWics , " as ihu day not yet done might
well have illustrated to them. Primarily ,
lliey would be married early in Ihe fore
noon and go straight to John's mother's
house , where they would live until he had
fixed up tliu old "Duncan lionu-stena"
which was John's by inheritance for
their own home. It would need a new
roof , n new spring-house would bo re
quired , and n good deal would have to
bo done to the barn ; nil of which could
be completed by time for starling the
garden in the bpring. They had settled
what stock would have to be bought and
hud under discussion enlargement of llio
orchard when thu clock struck ten.
" 1 declare ! " exclaimed Hetty , standing
up , "if wu haven't sat here all evening
talking over things liku n couple of old
married folks , and not said leu words
uboul love. " .
"Il don't seem to me ns if there was
anything else lu it at all , " answered
John , tendrrly , rising and putting his big
arm about her waist. "Haven't we been
busy plnnuing a home for Lovu himself ? "
"But , before I leave you and run up to
Mis. Robinson , you might , just once , tell
me how much you low > me. "
" 1 couldn't toll you thnt , Hetty , if I
put nil nielli into Irying. It will take
me the rest of my lifo to show you how
much I love yon. "
"Darling , you have told mo already. "
They were sUmdiug near llio door. Ho
pressed her close to his brojst , kissing
lier passionately , again and ngaiu , wills'
poring reluctantly between the kisses ;
"Good night , love ; good ni ht. "
As ho relaxed his hold upon her and
straightened himself up , she suddenly
flung her arm about his neck , drew hia
head down so thai her lips touched ouo
of his oars , nnd whispered :
"I love you , John. "
Then , with n celerity that dazed him ,
she bit his car , kissed his lips , sprang out
of Ids arms , darted through the door and
vanished. The bite was sharp , and the
kiss sweet ; nnd which cauio first ho
could not have told for the life of him.
( To bo continued. )
Was Not AtVaUI.
Employer ( to clerk who has been sent
to collect some money ) Well , what did
he say.
Clerk That he would break every
bone lu my body and pitch me out of
the window If I showed my face there
again !
Employer Did ho ? Then go back at
once and tell him that ho Is vastly mis
taken if lie thinks he will Intimidate
me by his violence. The King.
The actual weight of a ton of coal aa
sold by souio dealers LB a dork secret ,
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.
Plcnmuit IirciilcntH Occurring the
1\orll OverSa.vliiKH Unit Arc Clicer-
fill to Old or VOIIIIK l'"iuuiy Sclec-
tloiifc that 1C very body Will ivnjoy.
Citizen I want n perfectly noiseless
lawn mower.
j Dealer You nro a very considerate
person.
i Cltlx.cn Yes , I have to bo ; If I can't
got up early and out grass without the
neighbors hearing me I'll have to loud
Unit lawn mower vovon times before I
, got to u o It again myself. Chicago
Record-Herald.
Tonic Them with Htm.
Prlpiid How much money did your
defaulting cashier get away with ?
Bank Manager Can't say.
Friend ( In astonishment ) What !
Haven't you had his books examined
yet ?
Bank Malinger No ; he hasn't return
ed them yet. Puck.
Mis * I'ortii'ie'rt Curl.
There was a little girl
And slio had a little curl
Right in Ihe eeulor of her forehead ;
And when it was curled it was very , very
good ,
And when it was strnight It wan horrid.
Ilia CronnilM.
"And on what ground do you base
your application for divorce ? " asked
the lawyer of his new client
"Kxcrtlon , sah. "
"You mean desertion , I suppose.
Your wife has left you , doubtless. "
"No , sah , she hasn't left mo , sah. "
"Then you can't ask for a divorce on
the ground of desertion. "
"I said exertion , sah. Dat's do
ground perzaekly. She done exert her
self continually to make me mlzznble ,
sah. Put It on do ground ob exertion ,
sub. "
He Kxplalns.
She Why don't you get a wife ? Are
you waiting to get rich before you
marry ?
lie Oh , no ! I'm waiting to get rich
when I marry. Puck.
The ( Jucstioii Nowsulayi.
Friend 1 understand your receiving
teller hns skipped out ?
Baud President ( sadly ) That's what !
Friend Did he- leave much ? Puck
There Are Aluny Such.
Mrs. Gabbleton ( musingly ) After all ,
one half of the world does not know
how the other half lives.
Mrs. Flint ( grimly ) Never mind !
That Is not your fault , dear ! Puck.
Professional Criticism.
First Arctic Explorer Don't you
think Polehuntcr Is getting a big head ?
Second Arctic Explorer Decidedly.
You'd Iniik ! ho was the only man who
didn't reach the pole ! Puck.
! It Hack.
Clubborly Old man , do you ever have
any doubts about your love for her ?
Cantloton Oh , yc > s ; but when It comes
on I get down a black of unpaid bills
and look them over. Life.
Trinnipliant Mattery.
"So Dick aud Daisy have made up ?
By George ! After the way she laid
ilm out 1 never expected 1L How did
.10 pacify her ? "
"He told her that he'd rather quarrel
with her than kiss any other girl. "
Puck.
Hadn't 1Ceported Vet.
"You say ho died a fcoldler'a death.
What was the fatal wound ? "
It Isn't known. The Investigating
Committee haven't yet decided wheth
er it was duo to the tobaseo or to hot
Irons. " Philadelphia Record.
'l n lor rut.
Manhattan 1 wonder why It is thai
so many society women go on the
blase.
Broadway Perhaps 11 Is because
they nro crowded out by the aetreacas
that marry Into society. Life.
An.v.oii to I'leuac.
VWho was that woman ? " asked the
editor.
"Tho President of the Woman'o
Rights Club , " replied his assistant.
"She was making n kick because wo
referred to her as u 'sirong-mluded por-
6011. ' "
"All right Be careful to call her a
'weak-minded person * in thu future.
Philadelphia Press ,
if'
Wlnt "lir : Nroilrd.
Toss Delia Mode wanls mo to try
hoi1 drcbsmaker. 1 wonder If she'd suit
mo V
Jess Oil , yes , Indeed ; olio's Just the
one for you.
Toss-Really ?
JOSH Yes , she's n wonder. "Why , she
can nmko the plainest kind of people
lool nice. Philadelphia Press.
KvIN or Politic * .
nilthcrs-Our old friend , Col. Beet-
bad , Is another Instance of the strenu
ous life of polities.
Hint hunt How's that ?
Blllhors lie sued an opposition party
paper for printing n caricature of him ,
and the jury decided that the picture
Haltered the colonel. Ohio State Jour
nal.
Itomrl to lie Henrcl.
Jester I understand our pastor Is goIng -
Ing to preach through a megaphone
hereafter.
JiniKon Why Is that ?
Jester Why the sleeping members of
the congregation snore so loudly that
the others can't hear. Ohio State Jour
nal.
A Si > ort < u * Note.
First Bear I saw a man shot a min
ute ago.
Second Benr What for ? '
First Boar For Impersonating me , I
think. Puck.
Heady to Use.
Wife Why do you buy such a. lot of
stamps at once ?
Husband So there'll be a few that
won't get stuck together. New York
Weekly.
of
"Have you heard a robin yet ? "
"No , but I've seen a woman with her
head tied up In a towel beating a car
pet In the back yard. " Chicago Rec
ord.
Dentil W.IH Preferable.
"You ought to feel very grateful to
Dr. Slocum , " said Mrs. llenpeck to her ,
convalescent husband. "He saved you
from the jaws of death. " ,
"Yes , " replied the poor man , "but ho
has brought me back to suffer the 'jaws'
of llfe.-Philadelphla Press.
ii In Day.
"Why am I not shown common court
esy ? " demanded the woman warmly. ]
The sales person lost her temper at
once. j
"You didn't nsk to be shown any
thing but two-cent prints ! " retorted the
latter. j
Moreover , It was bargain day , when
the amount of common courtesy to a
customer was necessarily limited. De
troit Journal.
He When I tell yoij that I have
enough to support you In the style In
which you have been accustomed to
live , you must take my simple word
for it
She But George , Is that strictly
business ?
Equivocal ICntlm lnttn.
Husband To-day I met a gentleman
who told me he was engaged to you at
one time.
Wife What did you say ?
"I congratulated him , of course. " .
The Smart Set.
There was oncu M. S. O'Grndy ,
Who wrote "Ilenrt to Heart Talk * *
bigncd "Sadie"
Girls from North , East and West ,
Bend this column with zest-
Till they found out that "bho1 was 'in
lady. "
Wnmnii. I
"Mnyrno , where is that pretty llttla
brocaded pink silk sofa pillow I gav
you ? " !
"Oh , 1 took the cover and trimmed
my hat with It. " ,
Ittforni'itioii from Headquarter- ! . '
Cloverton Look here , have you been
making love to Miss Summit ? |
Dnshaway Yes , sir , 1 have.
"Well , do you know that I have been
making love to that girl ? "
"So she said. "
Slnmlerlnt ; the Hnm * .
"It's wrong to call such actors 'hams'
even. "
"Why ? " i
"Because they are hopeless , whIU
hams may be cured. " Philadelphia
Times. j
A Choice. I
"What Is It this morning ? " asked the
new waitress. "Ham and eggs , isn't
It ? " i
"Not exactly , " said the boardinghouse -
house mistress , "and 1 want you to
work this well. You must I Careful
to say to each boarder , "Ham or eggs1'
Philadelphia Press.
Ami in Colil Weather.
"When did the window blush ? "
"When It saw the weather strlp.-
Llf .
Active.
"By the way , old Gotrox Is not In ac-
ttr * business now , Is he ? "
"I should call It active. He Is dodg
ing taxes at a more lively rate than anj
other mnn In town. " Indlanapolii
Pros * .
HOLD THEM PY THE EYE.
J'nhlleHpcakoraJIavcu Wny of Talking
tit One l'or < on In the Croud ,
" 1 have noticed a rather singular
thing about public speakers , " bald a
jentlen.an who had attended one of the
big meetings lu New Orleans , "and I
tuixo had occasion to observe the pecu
liarity several times In my life. ID
some Instances the observation hoa
been attended with some embarrass-
Qient. Several days ago I attended a
meeting In this city. I was scaled well
up to the front , and In fact within a
tew yards of where the speakers stood.
One of the bpcakors apparently deliv i 'a
ered his whole address to me. If ho
( laid a particle of attention to any other
person lu the hall I could not notice It
lie spoke with great animation , and h
kept his eye on me. He literally bom
barded me with his thundering philip
pics , and whenever he shrieked his way
up the scale to a point he would hurl
It down with vehemence , pointed his
linger at me In derision , yelled at mo ,
made faces at me , and stared at me In
the most Ilendlsh way Imaginable. It
was a trllle embarrassing , but I man
aged to stand If because I had observed
the same peculiarity In public speakera
before. I have never heard a public
speaker say as much , but I believe they
always pick out some object , probably
some pci-bou , and during the greater
portion of the time they are speaking
their attention will bo turned to this
object , and It probably aids them lu the
matter of mental concentration. It
probably shuts out the side views
wlilfh tend to break the evenness and
continuity of the speech. This prob
ably Is why some of the early orators
back lu the days of Cicero and Demos
thenes are credited with having ad
dressed their remarks to stumps and
other Inanimate objects. By focusing
and riveting the eye on an unchange
able object the mind concentrates more
quickly and the speaker is able lo pur
sue his subject with greater coherence.
But my own experience lu these mat
ters brings back an incident at one of
Sam Jones' big meetings eight or ten
years ago , when he had reached the
high tide of his evangelical reputation.
A young friend of mine took a young
lady around to hear Sam Jones , and the
church was Jammed to the door , as was
I usual then at meetings held by the
evangelist. They sat pretty close up to
j the pulpit. Sam Jones had on his war
paint , and he picked out my friend ap
parently. 'You ( lop-eared hound , ' he
j said , shaking his linger at my friend ;
'you redmofeod whelp ! you blear-eyed
sot you drag yourself around In the
gutters of Infamy and wallow around
lu rum-shops , and then , ' he continued ,
leaning over the pulpit toward my
my friend , 'you have the nerve to call
on one of the sweetest and purest little
women lu town and come Mieaklng In
to this church with her. ' My friend's
face was the color of red flannel , and
the young lady was as mad as a her
net. She had never heard Sam Jones
before , and she not only believed the
evangelist was talklmr to mv
but she believed all that he siild. My
friend told me afterward that the
young lady frequently referred to It
during their friendly spate , and yet It
was nothing more than another lllus-
trillion of the peculiarity displayed by
public speakers ; but it shows , too , that
tlie matter of playing in the role of the
stump for Demosthenes Is not the most
pleasing thing in the world. " New Or
leans Times-Democrat.
The JJint Courteous.
The author of "Life airl Sport on th
Pacific Slope" says that in assemblage *
where a little patience and good humoi
temper what is disagreeable , the poo-
pie of the Pacific slope are tit their best
Once , at a performance of fromo play ,
several youths were guying the prin
cipal character , to the annoyance ol
everybody else. Suddenly a gentle
man said to them , very politely :
"That lady on the
stage Is making so
much noise that we cannot hear what
you are saying. But I hope we shall
have the pleasure of listening to youi
criticisms later , when the act Is over. "
Silence followed the remark.
At times something more forcible It
needed. A certain lady had. one day ,
boon rudely treated by n minor railway
olllcial. She was very Indignant , and
quite at a loss for words ; but she had
a saving sense of humor , and turned tea
a stranger at her elbow.
"Sir , " said sho. "will you tell thli
man what I think of him ? "
The stranger , without betraying th
least excitement , said in a melancholy
dniwl1
"Sir , this
lady thinks
you are nn un
derstrapper , clothed with a little brief . ,4
authority , whose only qualification for '
the position you occupy Is your extraor
dinary Impudence. "
Hymns Up to Date.
An old gentleman of
S2 , whose occa
sionally cynical speeches nre always
tinged with good humor , was asked
his opinion of mo lorn church music.
"It's all very fine. " lie said dryly ,
"and I like to hear It ; but there's one
thing I've noticed , it may be just
chance , but I've noticed It a good many
times.
"When I was a boy people went to
two services a day and sometimes
tlirpp , and they sat on hard seats with
pM-aK'ht backs , and sang with all their
hearts ,
'My God. the spring of all my Joys. '
"Now the congregation loan comfort
ably back In
softly cushioned pews and
listen to the choir singing ,
'Art thou weary , art Ihou languid ? '
I may be mistaken , but It comes home
to me every now and then thnt hymnology -
elegy Is changing to suit the times. "
If n man Is treated well at homo ho
would rather eat at home , and sleep at '
home , and loaf at homo , than anywhert < - * '
elae.
