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About Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921 | View Entire Issue (July 25, 1901)
etty , or j be nldfle. By J. II. CONNELLY CcpyrtBht , 18OT d im bjr Itnbert lion rr' Son * . [ All ilshti CHAPTER XV.Continned. < . ) The day watchman of the ferry com pany , smoking his pipe on the bank us John drove down by him , warned him , IIH be did all who seemed to be strangers. "Tho Ice isn't as safe us it has been. " "But they are still crossing on It , " nn- ewcrcd John , nrgumentntlvely. "Thero to a cutter just starting to como across flrom Pittsburg now. " "Oh , yes. They do. And they will , until somebody breaks through nml Is T * . v M * - Browned , I suppose , ns they do uvcry * " < 8P winter. I don't say It Isn't safe enough yet for a single horse and cutler If jou are caieful ; bill you'll hnvo lo look out , you don'l gel off llio curving track that IB marked out. There nro thin patches ( Snside Ihu bends , both ways , where It jrniildn'l be safe for a mnn lo go nfool , Pol alone drive a horse. " "Thank yon heartily for the caution , " replied the young man , gathering up Ills reins , "I'll Htick to the road and go fast" "Thai's the snfesl way. " And fasl John did go. Whether the black horse was inspired by the novelty of trolling upon no level n lloor , nml feel- ng the cutter Jinnlly a feather's weight behind him , or whether he was conscious thnt thure was danger In giving tlie ice < lmu lo crack under htm , none may say font whatever Iliu cause , ho went ncross iwoll inside a thrcc-miuuto gait lie was otlll slowly mounting thu steep , deeply Icuttcd road from the river Into the city when a two-horse sleigh , with two men n it , dashed across the bridge \ or SawMill - ( Mill Run from Tompcranccvillo into Bonth Pittsburg and down thu slope to thu ferry landing. There the faithful watchman halted them , to repeal the warning vhe hud given to John Cameron a few minutes bo- fore. "You'd holler nol BO oul on the leu Nvith that double-team ! " ho cried lo them , "Why not ? " "The ice may not hold you. It has been gelling weaker for sover.il days past , nnd heavy teams don't chance ll any more. " While hu wns speaking , Ihe cutter Jollc bad remarked starting from Plllslmrfc readied thu bank and came slowly up. "Ho seems to have como across al right , " argued Simeon Mulvell , who was , . . ouu , , f iju , , | n tiu fduij. ] jut-king his bead toward the man in tin ; culler. "Oh , yes. But thuru's only one ol falni and onu horse. " "How's tlie Ice ? " shouted Rufua Goldie . . * go DL , , lonely driver. "Good enough , I guess , " the man re plied , with an air of indifference" , ulop- ping to let his horse rest u little. "Did It crack much ? " "Not thnl I noticed , only about the Middle , where I met n cutter going the other wny , nnd thu double weight made Ct holler somu. " "Did that cutter have n young mnn end a girl In It ? " demanded Simeon , agcrly. "Yes. " Witli nn oath nml without waiting for any further Information or hearing the miming cried after liiin to "stick to tliu road , " Simeon gnve his horses the lush , and they plunged dowu Iliu bunk and out on tinice. . Instead of following llio Ions , curving awcep of the comparatively safe track , fae drove In a straight line toward the landing on thu farther side of thu river. ITho ferry walchnlnn and tliu man In thu cutler , Ihe latter standing up In his vchiclt ! to neo betler , watched in silence and with staring eyes tlio progress of tthe foolhardy travelers. Tliu sluisli crossed thu first thin Held of leu and passed the middle of the stream in safety. "CJosh ! " exclaimed Ihu watchman. "They'll do It ; but I wouldn't try it for . farm. " At that very moment , when the swiftly flying vehicle was within a hundred yards of the PIttsburg shore , horses , men and slulBh suddenly disappeared from Bight. There was no struggle , no re- iippenrancu nnd batllim. for life , nothing Out a wide circular oxpansu of water , that looked black , and in which big pieces of Ice slowly came to the surface uud lazily drifted down to thu lower Hide. CTIAPT13U XVI , The luvc-rs knew nothing of the Iraplc ( nclilenl lhal had occurred behind ihciu. ffhey wore nol even aware thai they had boon pursued , nnd wen > quito happy hi the confidence thai their troubles were practically at an end Ihu stale of mind thnl is the roso-Burlnmli-d door through Which Fate ilellBhts to usher the'way furor into Ihu cliamher filled < vith her mosl nliominalile surprises. Cloudless klc-b niu those least to bu trusted , for Kkles , like all thinjjs else , must chnnge , and lo them nil chniiBu must bu for the worse. They smllu most when preparing Co overwhelm us. Joan drove to the old Farmers' Inn , fcept by Andrew Robinson one of the family from which Robinson's Run took Its name put his hone and euttor In chaw of n hostler , led Ilclty to the sit- UtiK-room and sent for the landlord. An drew was believed to bu personally ac quainted with every adult in Washington - ton County , and was ho universally pop ular among them Hint , so far as they were concerned , his was the only house of PiUvrtnlnuiont In the city. Thu genial old tellow deserved the regard in which tic w s held , for ho was honest , Mud- henrtf.l and generous , worthy traits of character thnt were shared by his excel lent wife , who was quite content to bo his equal , without claiming to bu his better" half. Thai ho was fat , some what bald , somowhnt glow of speech , nd. in somu inexplieablu wny , had picked up u straiiKu Quaker habit of epe&ch In no way dolracted from his gen eral merit. Fooling Instinctively well assured of his iiympntlu'tlc Interest , John told him all about the olopomcut , as far ns It hat pone , and demanded hia aid In the fur- tier steps necessary to realization of tbelr hopts. "Why , to be uuro , lad. I'll stand by theo like a brother n.s I would have stood by thy old father before Ihcc , who was my good fili'tid , had ho called upon mo in lllto ease. Bui Ihoru is nothiii' , ' to bo done Ihis day in the way of marryIng - Ing , It is now sun-down , nnd the lieensu cannot bo laken out before to-morrow morning. " "In n license needed ? " "Fora tine , lawful , binding marriage , yes. Theo nilghl go lo a squire , as , in deed , persons of small consideration in the community do sometimes from choice and more often by necessity lint such n way of taking a wife is not uiL-et for n Cameron ; nnd unseemly haste is nol demanded of theo by llio circum stances. Theo has cunningly thrown thy pursuers off thy track and may rest in peace this night To-morrow Ihou inaycsl take In a seemly manner thu most serious step lo which thy life halh yet brought theo. Bethink tlu-e , lad ; the taking of a wife is not a Ik-lit thing , like tlie buying of a cow. It Is not thy hap piness only , but thy honor and thnl of thy father , nnd n long line of Cameron's behind him , thou will put In llio hands of lliis maid. When Ihou dost call her 'wife , ' she will have one foot upon the step where now stands thy good mother. Doth not tills seem then to tliec n grave lliin ; ; , 111 lo hu done solemnly , with duo consideralion , tinder nil required forms of law and the blessing of CZod ? Come ! Look not so glum. Thou knowest I am right. I will call dowu Bolsy , my wife , and put her straightway in chaw of the maid , thnl in no cuso ot misadventure may sciindnl over wag Us venomous tongue against her good imnio. " "Why , nonsense , man ! No misadven ture can happen. Isn't Ilutty with me , and won't wu bo married to-morrow ? " "Oho ! So theo lias in thy pocket a guarantee that thou wilt live until to morrow ! Do , for the love of heaven , show II lo mo , John. Never hnvo 1 be hold such a bond , and upon my soul there Is nolhing I have so much desired to see in all my lifo. " John rather sheepishly admitted that I''ate ' had given him no such security , though ho deemed there was not much room for question in the premises. But ho was sensible enough to see thai thu landlord's advice was good and accepted it gracefully , even gratefully. Hetty , too , who had kept very quiet notwith standing n keen sense of disappointment and anxiety , looked much relieved. Tlie woman's bug-bear , "being talked about , " hail loomed up In terrible proportions be- foru her when the old landlord's few words had set her thinking what people might say , even after John nnd shu were married. / Busy ns her mind had been with tlu1 future the night before leaving homo , certain contingencies , which now seeiucil the most nnturnlly-to-bo-i'xpected things , had not occurred to her ; first and most serious among them , that slu * and John might not get mnrrlod that day , and shu fell that had this seemed probable ohe would hardly have had llio courage lo run nwny with him. At hur husband's cnll of "Motherl" promptly camu Mrs , Betsy Robinson , a short , plump woman with a kind , mother ly face nnd hnir thai where ll wns smoothed upon her temples looked white and glistening like pearls tliu only indi cation of age In her appenrnnuu. Hnv ing explained the situaliou , thp Iwo went out , leaving her nloiio with the girl. > "And so this is Hetty Mulvell ! " exclaimed - claimed the old lady , In a tone that heemud both n welcome nnd n caress. 'Dear me ! Dear me ! Why , I knew vour mother , Hetty , when she was n Wright , beforu she beenmo n Mulvell ; nud I'M ! seen you , too , my dear , hut you were too small to remember It If I remember - member rightly you called mo : 'Ga-gn' or 'Nii-nii' or something of that sort And. laws-a-massy , it does boom like that was only the other day ! How times does fly , lo bu biire ! And here you nro a great , big , line-looking young woman , running off to be man led to your lover , who looks like the sort of chap worth taking such a risk for , 1 must say. But , tell me , my dear" ami t > he put her arm caressingly around the girl's waist "why did you run nwny from home ? Was It mamma who would not consent , or did papa make thu trouble ? " "Father died several yenrs ngo , " an swered Hetty , sadly. "You don't tell mo BO ! Well ! Well ! So he did ; I remember , now. But I hud forgotten it. And no wonder I did. What , witli the eternal coming nnd go ing nil the time lu a place like this , there's no Keeping track of who in alive and who U not. So It wns mamma ? And why did she object to your lover ? As ouc of the Ciuuerous lie ought to bo well off. Isn't he ? " "Oh , I guess sol I don't kuow. I never thought of that. " " 'Ml I suppose not. It muy seem * t-V UN tt fS * * * TS * * "ft * to yon like n linn ) thins to nay , my child , but Hint is unu of the IIrM thlngM to con sider. Is In * imyllilng to tha widow Mary Cninoron , who used to ' . o a Me- Donga I ? " "She In his mother. " "Oho ! Then no fear but ho IH all right for menus to keep a wife. Is ho wild ? " "John , wild ? Oh.no ! Not nt nil. Not HO far as 1 over heard , niiyway.V "Then why Is your mother opposed to him ? " "Because ho is a Cameron. " "Oh , what a foolish woman ! The Men of keeping up thnt old grudge to such an extent ! I thought it had died out ycnr.s ago. Well , such nonsense does nol deserves serves lo be countenanced , my dear child , and it will not be Betsy Robin- sou's fault If you don't marry the man of your heart to-morrow , no matter whnl mamma may tliinl ; aboul It , But lo- nlglil you'll have lo be content to bldo with mo. Nobody can over fiiy n word agalnsl you when II Is known that you have been with mo , Ihe same as one of my own girls , from llio lime you cnmo lo town with your lover until you Blood up before llio minister. Young ns yon nro in Ihe ways of the wicked world , my denr , and thinking no evil yourself , you know little of whnl Ill-miiidod persons tulghl Hay if they were given the least opportunity for talk , nnd it Is best , be lieve me , to do as I say. " "Oh , I will , Mrs. Robinson just what ever yon Hiiy. Yon are very kind , I'm sure , and I know yon nro right. I wouldn't hnvo run nwny ns I did if 1 had not expected we would bo married to-day. That is I hardly think I would. " "Of course , you wouldn't , or else yon ivould , and it don't really made any dif ference which , now. " laughed Betsy , good-huiiiorodly , ' 'for I'll see that every thing is all right. When you arc going home , I'll give yon a letter to bhow to jour mother , nlong with your mnrrlngo lines , nml if she hns even n little bit of sense , she'll make no more fuss. And I'm not going to bo too hard on you. I'\o been young myself. After supper , I'll let yon and John sit up lu this room un til ten o'clock. No person is likely to come in , because there are few in the house , tliu roads being so bad now , ex cept men , nnd they dou'l come iulo the sitting-room much. Bui you must como ir * m MKM I w * cjari vix 5 ' ' \ CROSSING THE MONONGAHHLA ICE-BRIDGE. to bed at ten o'clock. Remember that. " "I'll not forget , " promised llctly , laughing and blushing. John accepted the conditions with sin cere thanks , and did not attempt lo Ires- pass upon thu tlmu-limit thai had been set. But lie took every minulc of hia allowance , uiilil thu clock was actually striking ten , and in Unit long , uninter rupted happy talk , thu young couple set tled thoroughly their future , for al least a very considerable distance ahead quite forgetting thai lovers' plans , like dreams , are most liable lo "go by con- trWics , " as ihu day not yet done might well have illustrated to them. Primarily , lliey would be married early in Ihe fore noon and go straight to John's mother's house , where they would live until he had fixed up tliu old "Duncan lionu-stena" which was John's by inheritance for their own home. It would need a new roof , n new spring-house would bo re quired , and n good deal would have to bo done to the barn ; nil of which could be completed by time for starling the garden in the bpring. They had settled what stock would have to be bought and hud under discussion enlargement of llio orchard when thu clock struck ten. " 1 declare ! " exclaimed Hetty , standing up , "if wu haven't sat here all evening talking over things liku n couple of old married folks , and not said leu words uboul love. " . "Il don't seem to me ns if there was anything else lu it at all , " answered John , tendrrly , rising and putting his big arm about her waist. "Haven't we been busy plnnuing a home for Lovu himself ? " "But , before I leave you and run up to Mis. Robinson , you might , just once , tell me how much you low > me. " " 1 couldn't toll you thnt , Hetty , if I put nil nielli into Irying. It will take me the rest of my lifo to show you how much I love yon. " "Darling , you have told mo already. " They were sUmdiug near llio door. Ho pressed her close to his brojst , kissing lier passionately , again and ngaiu , wills' poring reluctantly between the kisses ; "Good night , love ; good ni ht. " As ho relaxed his hold upon her and straightened himself up , she suddenly flung her arm about his neck , drew hia head down so thai her lips touched ouo of his oars , nnd whispered : "I love you , John. " Then , with n celerity that dazed him , she bit his car , kissed his lips , sprang out of Ids arms , darted through the door and vanished. The bite was sharp , and the kiss sweet ; nnd which cauio first ho could not have told for the life of him. ( To bo continued. ) Was Not AtVaUI. Employer ( to clerk who has been sent to collect some money ) Well , what did he say. Clerk That he would break every bone lu my body and pitch me out of the window If I showed my face there again ! Employer Did ho ? Then go back at once and tell him that ho Is vastly mis taken if lie thinks he will Intimidate me by his violence. The King. The actual weight of a ton of coal aa sold by souio dealers LB a dork secret , SUPPOSE WE SMILE. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPERS. Plcnmuit IirciilcntH Occurring the 1\orll OverSa.vliiKH Unit Arc Clicer- fill to Old or VOIIIIK l'"iuuiy Sclec- tloiifc that 1C very body Will ivnjoy. Citizen I want n perfectly noiseless lawn mower. j Dealer You nro a very considerate person. i Cltlx.cn Yes , I have to bo ; If I can't got up early and out grass without the neighbors hearing me I'll have to loud Unit lawn mower vovon times before I , got to u o It again myself. Chicago Record-Herald. Tonic Them with Htm. Prlpiid How much money did your defaulting cashier get away with ? Bank Manager Can't say. Friend ( In astonishment ) What ! Haven't you had his books examined yet ? Bank Malinger No ; he hasn't return ed them yet. Puck. Mis * I'ortii'ie'rt Curl. There was a little girl And slio had a little curl Right in Ihe eeulor of her forehead ; And when it was curled it was very , very good , And when it was strnight It wan horrid. Ilia CronnilM. "And on what ground do you base your application for divorce ? " asked the lawyer of his new client "Kxcrtlon , sah. " "You mean desertion , I suppose. Your wife has left you , doubtless. " "No , sah , she hasn't left mo , sah. " "Then you can't ask for a divorce on the ground of desertion. " "I said exertion , sah. Dat's do ground perzaekly. She done exert her self continually to make me mlzznble , sah. Put It on do ground ob exertion , sub. " He Kxplalns. She Why don't you get a wife ? Are you waiting to get rich before you marry ? lie Oh , no ! I'm waiting to get rich when I marry. Puck. The ( Jucstioii Nowsulayi. Friend 1 understand your receiving teller hns skipped out ? Baud President ( sadly ) That's what ! Friend Did he- leave much ? Puck There Are Aluny Such. Mrs. Gabbleton ( musingly ) After all , one half of the world does not know how the other half lives. Mrs. Flint ( grimly ) Never mind ! That Is not your fault , dear ! Puck. Professional Criticism. First Arctic Explorer Don't you think Polehuntcr Is getting a big head ? Second Arctic Explorer Decidedly. You'd Iniik ! ho was the only man who didn't reach the pole ! Puck. ! It Hack. Clubborly Old man , do you ever have any doubts about your love for her ? Cantloton Oh , yc > s ; but when It comes on I get down a black of unpaid bills and look them over. Life. Trinnipliant Mattery. "So Dick aud Daisy have made up ? By George ! After the way she laid ilm out 1 never expected 1L How did .10 pacify her ? " "He told her that he'd rather quarrel with her than kiss any other girl. " Puck. Hadn't 1Ceported Vet. "You say ho died a fcoldler'a death. What was the fatal wound ? " It Isn't known. The Investigating Committee haven't yet decided wheth er it was duo to the tobaseo or to hot Irons. " Philadelphia Record. 'l n lor rut. Manhattan 1 wonder why It is thai so many society women go on the blase. Broadway Perhaps 11 Is because they nro crowded out by the aetreacas that marry Into society. Life. An.v.oii to I'leuac. VWho was that woman ? " asked the editor. "Tho President of the Woman'o Rights Club , " replied his assistant. "She was making n kick because wo referred to her as u 'sirong-mluded por- 6011. ' " "All right Be careful to call her a 'weak-minded person * in thu future. Philadelphia Press , if' Wlnt "lir : Nroilrd. Toss Delia Mode wanls mo to try hoi1 drcbsmaker. 1 wonder If she'd suit mo V Jess Oil , yes , Indeed ; olio's Just the one for you. Toss-Really ? JOSH Yes , she's n wonder. "Why , she can nmko the plainest kind of people lool nice. Philadelphia Press. KvIN or Politic * . nilthcrs-Our old friend , Col. Beet- bad , Is another Instance of the strenu ous life of polities. Hint hunt How's that ? Blllhors lie sued an opposition party paper for printing n caricature of him , and the jury decided that the picture Haltered the colonel. Ohio State Jour nal. Itomrl to lie Henrcl. Jester I understand our pastor Is goIng - Ing to preach through a megaphone hereafter. JiniKon Why Is that ? Jester Why the sleeping members of the congregation snore so loudly that the others can't hear. Ohio State Jour nal. A Si > ort < u * Note. First Bear I saw a man shot a min ute ago. Second Benr What for ? ' First Boar For Impersonating me , I think. Puck. Heady to Use. Wife Why do you buy such a. lot of stamps at once ? Husband So there'll be a few that won't get stuck together. New York Weekly. of "Have you heard a robin yet ? " "No , but I've seen a woman with her head tied up In a towel beating a car pet In the back yard. " Chicago Rec ord. Dentil W.IH Preferable. "You ought to feel very grateful to Dr. Slocum , " said Mrs. llenpeck to her , convalescent husband. "He saved you from the jaws of death. " , "Yes , " replied the poor man , "but ho has brought me back to suffer the 'jaws' of llfe.-Philadelphla Press. ii In Day. "Why am I not shown common court esy ? " demanded the woman warmly. ] The sales person lost her temper at once. j "You didn't nsk to be shown any thing but two-cent prints ! " retorted the latter. j Moreover , It was bargain day , when the amount of common courtesy to a customer was necessarily limited. De troit Journal. He When I tell yoij that I have enough to support you In the style In which you have been accustomed to live , you must take my simple word for it She But George , Is that strictly business ? Equivocal ICntlm lnttn. Husband To-day I met a gentleman who told me he was engaged to you at one time. Wife What did you say ? "I congratulated him , of course. " . The Smart Set. There was oncu M. S. O'Grndy , Who wrote "Ilenrt to Heart Talk * * bigncd "Sadie" Girls from North , East and West , Bend this column with zest- Till they found out that "bho1 was 'in lady. " Wnmnii. I "Mnyrno , where is that pretty llttla brocaded pink silk sofa pillow I gav you ? " ! "Oh , 1 took the cover and trimmed my hat with It. " , Ittforni'itioii from Headquarter- ! . ' Cloverton Look here , have you been making love to Miss Summit ? | Dnshaway Yes , sir , 1 have. "Well , do you know that I have been making love to that girl ? " "So she said. " Slnmlerlnt ; the Hnm * . "It's wrong to call such actors 'hams' even. " "Why ? " i "Because they are hopeless , whIU hams may be cured. " Philadelphia Times. j A Choice. I "What Is It this morning ? " asked the new waitress. "Ham and eggs , isn't It ? " i "Not exactly , " said the boardinghouse - house mistress , "and 1 want you to work this well. You must I Careful to say to each boarder , "Ham or eggs1' Philadelphia Press. Ami in Colil Weather. "When did the window blush ? " "When It saw the weather strlp.- Llf . Active. "By the way , old Gotrox Is not In ac- ttr * business now , Is he ? " "I should call It active. He Is dodg ing taxes at a more lively rate than anj other mnn In town. " Indlanapolii Pros * . HOLD THEM PY THE EYE. J'nhlleHpcakoraJIavcu Wny of Talking tit One l'or < on In the Croud , " 1 have noticed a rather singular thing about public speakers , " bald a jentlen.an who had attended one of the big meetings lu New Orleans , "and I tuixo had occasion to observe the pecu liarity several times In my life. ID some Instances the observation hoa been attended with some embarrass- Qient. Several days ago I attended a meeting In this city. I was scaled well up to the front , and In fact within a tew yards of where the speakers stood. One of the bpcakors apparently deliv i 'a ered his whole address to me. If ho ( laid a particle of attention to any other person lu the hall I could not notice It lie spoke with great animation , and h kept his eye on me. He literally bom barded me with his thundering philip pics , and whenever he shrieked his way up the scale to a point he would hurl It down with vehemence , pointed his linger at me In derision , yelled at mo , made faces at me , and stared at me In the most Ilendlsh way Imaginable. It was a trllle embarrassing , but I man aged to stand If because I had observed the same peculiarity In public speakera before. I have never heard a public speaker say as much , but I believe they always pick out some object , probably some pci-bou , and during the greater portion of the time they are speaking their attention will bo turned to this object , and It probably aids them lu the matter of mental concentration. It probably shuts out the side views wlilfh tend to break the evenness and continuity of the speech. This prob ably Is why some of the early orators back lu the days of Cicero and Demos thenes are credited with having ad dressed their remarks to stumps and other Inanimate objects. By focusing and riveting the eye on an unchange able object the mind concentrates more quickly and the speaker is able lo pur sue his subject with greater coherence. But my own experience lu these mat ters brings back an incident at one of Sam Jones' big meetings eight or ten years ago , when he had reached the high tide of his evangelical reputation. A young friend of mine took a young lady around to hear Sam Jones , and the church was Jammed to the door , as was I usual then at meetings held by the evangelist. They sat pretty close up to j the pulpit. Sam Jones had on his war paint , and he picked out my friend ap parently. 'You ( lop-eared hound , ' he j said , shaking his linger at my friend ; 'you redmofeod whelp ! you blear-eyed sot you drag yourself around In the gutters of Infamy and wallow around lu rum-shops , and then , ' he continued , leaning over the pulpit toward my my friend , 'you have the nerve to call on one of the sweetest and purest little women lu town and come Mieaklng In to this church with her. ' My friend's face was the color of red flannel , and the young lady was as mad as a her net. She had never heard Sam Jones before , and she not only believed the evangelist was talklmr to mv but she believed all that he siild. My friend told me afterward that the young lady frequently referred to It during their friendly spate , and yet It was nothing more than another lllus- trillion of the peculiarity displayed by public speakers ; but it shows , too , that tlie matter of playing in the role of the stump for Demosthenes Is not the most pleasing thing in the world. " New Or leans Times-Democrat. The JJint Courteous. The author of "Life airl Sport on th Pacific Slope" says that in assemblage * where a little patience and good humoi temper what is disagreeable , the poo- pie of the Pacific slope are tit their best Once , at a performance of fromo play , several youths were guying the prin cipal character , to the annoyance ol everybody else. Suddenly a gentle man said to them , very politely : "That lady on the stage Is making so much noise that we cannot hear what you are saying. But I hope we shall have the pleasure of listening to youi criticisms later , when the act Is over. " Silence followed the remark. At times something more forcible It needed. A certain lady had. one day , boon rudely treated by n minor railway olllcial. She was very Indignant , and quite at a loss for words ; but she had a saving sense of humor , and turned tea a stranger at her elbow. "Sir , " said sho. "will you tell thli man what I think of him ? " The stranger , without betraying th least excitement , said in a melancholy dniwl1 "Sir , this lady thinks you are nn un derstrapper , clothed with a little brief . ,4 authority , whose only qualification for ' the position you occupy Is your extraor dinary Impudence. " Hymns Up to Date. An old gentleman of S2 , whose occa sionally cynical speeches nre always tinged with good humor , was asked his opinion of mo lorn church music. "It's all very fine. " lie said dryly , "and I like to hear It ; but there's one thing I've noticed , it may be just chance , but I've noticed It a good many times. "When I was a boy people went to two services a day and sometimes tlirpp , and they sat on hard seats with pM-aK'ht backs , and sang with all their hearts , 'My God. the spring of all my Joys. ' "Now the congregation loan comfort ably back In softly cushioned pews and listen to the choir singing , 'Art thou weary , art Ihou languid ? ' I may be mistaken , but It comes home to me every now and then thnt hymnology - elegy Is changing to suit the times. " If n man Is treated well at homo ho would rather eat at home , and sleep at ' home , and loaf at homo , than anywhert < - * ' elae.