Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, July 11, 1901, Image 2

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    Custcr County Republican
P.H. AMHIIKUIIV , Killtornml I'l
BllOKKN BOW , NKHUASK/
It is a wise railway Hint knows who
wns It.
The boy who says lie would rather
lvo his quarter to thebmlghlod
boatlicn tlinn go to Iliu dims will bear
watching.
British ship owner * are eomblnlng to
fight .7. Plcrpont Morgan. Wo hope
Uioy Imvo picked out n "Ice soft spot
to fall on.
Tbcro IB a possibility that the .South
west niny but out lieu oil wells u trlllo
fntftcr than the Standard Company can
Bold them.
A ninn of : i5 IIIIH married a woman of
Bl "for love. " Yon never can tell what
A man will do when his taste runs to
the tertiary period.
A Now York waiter tried to "lick" a
man who accused him of. being a
.fTrench count. Now and then even the
tvorui docs a turn.
There Is something decidedly tiro-
wmo In the tales about butlers , cooks
Mid their friends becoming rich
through the tips of their employers.
Now that King Edward has pressed
the Icze majesty button , Emperor Wil
liam will have to hitch up his trousers
and do , something else If hu wants to
keep In front
The Sultan of Turkey got excited
because a native dentist hurt him and
killed the fellow * The Sultan was only
doing what every one of us has felt In
hla heart like doing.
1 "Possibly there may be something In
Professor Moultou's Idea tluik novel
reading and gambling are nklu. It Is a
food deal of a gamble to pay $1.DO
for a modern novel , anyway.
But will the example of that stenog
rapher who lost her money and her
faith In man by answering a matrimonial
menial advertisement serve as a whole
some warning to her sisters ?
KltMng Is again charged by the doc
tors with spreading tuberculosis. It has
also been known to Induce breach of
promise cases and several other kinds
of ailments not mentioned by the doe-
torn.
An Italian engineer ha Invented a
submarine bout that | s warranted to
remain under water for thirty hours.
That's nothing. A vessel went down
In Lake Superior live years ago and
hasn't come up yet.
A music trust has been formed and
* great many people are praying that
it will advance prices of "Goo-Goo
Byo'1 and "She's Ma Baby" pieces on
the young lady who makes the neigh
borhood profane at 11 p. m.
When the system of wireless teleg-
rnphy Is established on the ocean liners
the people who become victims of card
harps In poker games can telegraph at
enco for more funds with which to
"help a friend who Is In trouble. "
Five or six years ago no one thought
that bicycles would ever be selling at
present prices. The person who can
not afford an automobile should not be
discouraged ; they may be giving auto
mobiles away as prizes with chewing
gum In a few more years.
The chemist who , It Is said , llrst man
ufactured sugar-coated pills died In
Philadelphia the other day , and his
principal achievement Is now n-spoot-
fully commended to the attention of de
feating societies. It Is rather a largo
question , when one looks at all sides
of It , whether the man who made It
aelcr for people to take pills was or
wan not a public benefactor.
The American economizes on a gram
cole and In'largo ways , scotfs at pettj
caving and distributes his national pat
rluiony with a lavish hand , thereby un
consciously relinquishing much of tin
advantage that Yankee thrift might
otherwise conserve to him. Ho will
only enjoy to the utmost the fruits
of his labor when ho stops the leaks
In his domestic economy and applies to
individual action the largo principles
which have proved so successful In his
corporate enterprises.
Watch the record of embezzlements
nnd defalcations aud sec how many of
them are duo to "Investments" lu
stocks , or grain , or something else. For
Ihe last thirty or forty years this spec
ulative mania has been growing up
under the name of lulslness and the re
sult IR that It IIIIK permeated every cor
ner of the country. The people who
lobu are not as much In evidence as
those who win. They are not .adver
tised In the papers. But If they were
all known they would bo vastly more
conspicuous than the winners , for there
re vastly more of them. It takes a
great many losers to make n / millionaire
aire winner.
How readily ideas long cherished by
n majority of men may be upset or
corrected , Is exemplified In the case of
one Cramptou , a lecturer , who had Ills
tongue cut out at the roots by sur
geons In a Brooklyn hospital. "Good-
l yo , " bald the unhappy man Just be
fore the knife was nppl'ed to his dis
eased organ of npeech , so-called , and
this was supposed to bo his last verbal
utterance for all time. All the same ,
. when the surgeon who hud performed
the operation noticed hi * patient a t'ow
days later , and from force of habit
asked him how ho was , the supposedly
speechless man answered , "All right , "
much to his own astonishment and
that of the doctor. Then followed a
conversation which developed the fact
that the tongue Is not an absolute nec
essary adjunct of speech , the man's ar
ticulation being only In a slight degree
Imperfect.while the tone of Ills voice
was unaffected. This discovery will
make necessary a new phrase to sup
plant that of sharp-longiied , glib-
tongucd , long-tongued and the like ,
which are tile popular form of Indicat
ing varied styles of speech.
Out of the news columns comes the
statement that Dr. Joseph lOlscn , a Cal
ifornia scientist , lu afillclcd with can
ter , and that he became Inoculated
with the cancer microbe while study
ing the germs "In the Interest of sci
ence. " The other day at a hospital a
physician put his lips to a tube aud
sucked poison from a child's stomach.
A "common operation , " he said. Ills
lips were burned , and It might have
boon worse. Bravery Is becoming a
common trait so common that it ex
cites little comment. It Is expected.
Perhaps men fear disease and death
less than of old , but , at any rate , all
over this land they arc risking life and
health , daring everything , to find the
moans of conquering disease. There
Isn't a bit of military thrill about that
klm of heroism no bands of music , no
powder smell , no battle lust. Jn con
tagious hospitals men and women are
working and studying. There are al
ways volunteers. There Isn't . dis
ease or ailment that can reach sd loath
some a stage that those who would in
vestigate "In the Interest of science" or
for pure love of humanity arc not at
hand to save life , If possible , and at
least to case the sufferer's entrance Into
another world. What is It nil for ? That
you aifd your children and millions of
others may live nero years In peace
and comfort. It's a practical and glo
rious kind of bravery , don't you think ?
Count L'eopold Do Melville , of almost
everywhere , not long ago placed his
aristocratic name on the blotter of a
Chicago prison , Bigamy Is the charge
not the ordinary bigamy , but wholesale
wedlock wives In regiments. The
.woman whom he last married says that
he admitted that he had married about
fifty other women , but could not bo
exact about the count. lie has wedded
them big and little , stout and lean. lie
has married hi leafy June and chill De
cember. That Is why he Is in Jail. It
also affords a reason for keeping him
there , for there Is ai % > omilar Idea In tills
country that one wife at a time Is
imotigh for any man. Koine people find
humor in the situation. But It Isn't
funny. It Is a tragedy. It doesn't
speak well for the keenness of the
women who were duped and betrayed
that they could be so easily made vic
tims by a man who had nothing but
a smooth tongue and a fine appearance
to recommend him. Liars who make
love their bait for their deception suc
ceed too often , and the women who
married the Count didn't exercise half
as much care-in Rejecting a husband as
they would In buying an Easter bon
net. Prudence was forgotten , and thii
honeyed words ePa modern Ananias
brought sorrow to homes , the number
ot which will not be determined till the j
returns are all In. Don't take any man I
on trust. It Is a resolve that can work ;
hardship only on the undeserving. Men
who are entitled to love and loyalty
and the companionship of good women
can prove their worth.
Tlio Alps in Uoinmi TiiitcH.
The Bomans had no appreciation of
tlio beauty and grandeur of these moun
tains , so much admired by modern
taste , but expressed only dread of
them and abhorrence of their savage
aspect. To them they were merely a
wall shutting them out from the people
living beyond them. So great was their
dread of theuo unknown heights that
they quietly endured the audacity of
the rapacious tribes Inhabiting them
until 15 years B. C.
Yet Hannibal had crossed them In
September , 218 years B. C. This was
considered a deed of such magnitude
that Its suctH'SH was ascribed to the
assistance of the heavenly powers. The
darkness which enveloped the Alps was
llrst Illuminated by the historian , Poly-
bhiB , who vlslk'd them and described
hem fully. Afterwards , some fourteen
roads were built over them , the laying
out of which showed that they were
made after careful study of the situa
tion by engineers. The opening of the
mountains to travel was followed by a
1 lining of adventurers In search of the
riciies to DO loiuui. At one time , gold
was found In such quantities that the !
price of the metal wan depreciated IJ !
per cent through all Italy.
Why They \Vor Seteototl.
It has been recorded that ( Ion. Ilenrj
Knox , in I78l ! , was the "greatest" of
eleven distinguished otllt-ers of the
army , weighing 280 pounds. Noah
Brooks , In his book entitled "Henry
Knox , " gives the following Incident re
lating to tlfo General's full habit :
With a Captain argent , he AVIIS De
lected to present the hard eaf > o of the
starving and naked men at Valley
Forge to the attention of a eommlttco
Of Congress. One of ( lie Congressmen ,
wishing to show Ills wit and sarcasm ,
said- that ho had never neon a fatter
man than General Knox , nor a Better
dressed man than his associate.
Knox managed to keep his temper
and rci'ialnod silent , but his subordlj
nato reported : "The corps , out of respect - |
spect to Congress , and themselves , ,
Imvo sent as their representatives the
only imin who had an. ounce of super
fluous ftcsh on his body and thq only
other who posscssed'u complete suit of
clothes. "
0ITIES THAT GO ASTKAY.
Ditrtjr-tlireo I.fnt TOTTIH tluit llnve
Jloeit Ifecriltly Kccliiltnrd.
The closing years of the nineteenth
century were marked with many notable - ,
table ac'hii'vemenlH In archaeology. Oil
the site of ancient Ilium , on the plains
of Persia , and In the mystery-haunted
valley of the Nile reverent hands un
veiled the long hidden secrets of the
past and added a wondrous Illumlna-l
tlon to our knowledge of the very dawn' '
of history. In such a work It Is grat-l
Ifying to record that American bounty
and enterprise and scholarship played
a most honorable part , this youngest ot
the world's great nations being fore
most hi making acquaintance with the
relics of the oldest. i
Forty years ago the Marquis Do
Vogue discovered In that part of Syria
lying back of Antloch traces of an
ancient civilization of a high order. IIo
was able , however , to gain only a peep
Into the marvelous volume written In |
mighty monuments amid the desert
sands. It was left for American enterprise - i
prise In the last two years of the ecui i
tury to fully unfold the ample pages1' '
for the amazement and Instruction of :
the world. No less than thirty-three i
long forgotten cities have beeu dlscov- i
ercd and Identified , some of them with
architectural remains of surpassing
grandeur and of exceptional interest as
expositions of the civilization and the
social order that there prevailed.
The admirable workmanship of an
cient times and the climatic conditions
of those desert uplands have served to
keep these cities from decay , so that
they stand there to-day substantially
as they were 1,200 years ago , and the
camera to-day lays before us scenes
upon which Xenobla may have
looked and across which Bellsa-
rlus may ' have swept Jn tri
umph. The story Is one that re-
llectH high credit upon the American ex-
lorcrs who did the work , and upon the' '
our Americans whoso names are yet' '
modestly withheld , whose goUeroUu
bounty supplied the means through
which alone the doing of the work was
possible.
' " i
No Time 1'or Trilling.
An old couple , who had passed thch
lives In the quiet of a Derbyshire vil
lage , resolved to make a Journey to
London. The resolution was com
municated to their neighbors , who gave
them long Instr 'ctlons as to the best
methods of taking care of themselves
and avoiding city sharpers.
The villagers gathered at the station
to see the departure , and all went well
until the train reached Bedford. There
the old man , In an evil moment , al
lowed himself to leave the compart
ment , with the result that the train
ivent olT without him.
Fortunately an express was due In a
few minutes , and the station-master ,
taking pity on the old countryman's
distress , permitted him to board It , so
that he was enabled to reach London
fully twenty minutes before the ar
rival of his wife.
He was waiting eagerly at the sta
tion when the train came In , and seeing
Ills wife , he rushed joyously up , cryIng -
Ing out :
"III , Betty , I'm glad to see you ageanl
I thought we wor parted forever I"
The old woman looked at him sus
piciously , and remembering nil Hie ad
vice that had been showered upon her ,
suld Indignantly :
"Away wPyo , man ! Don't be eomln'
yer Lunnon tricks wP me. I left my
owd man at t'other station. Be off at
once , or I'll call a bobby and hue yer
locked up I"
A Hundred Miles'Kldo Under a Train.
A Ireal ! Northern workman , em
ployed In the locomotive department at
King's Cross , has just hail the thrilling
experience of riding underneath a rall
way carriage from London to Gran-
thani , a distance of over 100 miles.
He was lying on the rods tinder one of
the coaches of the 2 o'clock express
from King's Cross one of the fastest
trains on the Great Northern system
attending to the'brake ' gearing , when
the train started. It had acquired a
good speed liol'ore lie realized his per
ilous position. From the place In
which he lay It was Impossible for him
to alight with the train In motion , anil
the man was well aware that the trail
did not stop again until It reaehec
Grant ham. Therefore , there was noth
Ing foi It but to make himself as com
fortnble as possible , and after aboul
two hours , when Grnnfham was
reaehod , he emerged from IIH ! slngulai
quarters apparently little the worse foi
his adventure. Liverpool Mercury.
Oloiiu Itoxvled.
A small Scotch boy was summoned
to give evidence against his father ,
who had been making a disturbance lu
the street the evening before. '
The bailie bald to him :
"Come now , my wee man , you are
too young to take the oath'but ; .speak
the truth , and tell us what you know
of this affair. "
" \Veel , sir , due you ken the coal
wharf V"
"Yes. laddie. "
"NVeel , when you turn the corner
from there , you gang up the lllgh-st. "
"Ay , lad , go on. "
"Weel. you gang on till you come tea
a pump , "
"I ken It fine , laddie. "
"Weel , you can gang and pump it ,
for you'll no pump me. " Answers.
The Tables Tiii-nmt.
Mrs. Meek Bridget , I am greatly
grieved because you will not work for
mo longer. Why arc you going ?
Bridget Well , yez wlnt an' got n hat ;
lolkc inolne , an' , faith , 1 won't stand
It at all. ut all.-Ohio State Journal.
Every woman would like her sou to '
be Just sissy boy enough to dislike i
swimming.
T'HE ' SLA NO JFOUiNDJBY.
fHE UNITED STATES ORIGINATES
THE BEST EXPRESSIONS.
\fter a I'robiillutinrjr lertti In the Vo-
c.ilmlury of the Uneducated and Care-
U'HB , the Kcnlly Kxitrcftitvo
Arc Adopted Into the
The London Society of Amateur Philologists
elegists , the members of which are devoted -
voted to the study of language , has
[ rravcly decided that If It were not for
the additions made from time to time
[ > y Americans , English would have to
bo classed as a dead or at least as a
rapidly dying language.
From this country , however , says
the Chicago Tribune , come so many
ipt and novel phrases which arc incor
porated Into the body of the English
; ongue that it is still alive and growing.
i\Jid both In the United States and
ibroad students arc beginning to reu-
jgnlzo the Importance and the value of
yords and phrases which start as
ilungi and , because they vividly de
scribe some prevailing condition , grail-
Jally ilnd their way Into the standard
llctloimrles. Both the philologists of
London and American authorities
igrec In the opinion that comparatively
little slang of the sort which endures
mil becomes part of the language orig
inates In large cities. Nor Is It used
[ Irst by educated and retlned people.
I'lio so-called "educated classes" add
little to a language except some stilted
words which are borrowed from the
classics or scientific terms which are
also likely to be derived from one of
the dead languages. It is the men on
the farm , on Western ranches , In gold
and silver mines , and In other similar
occupations , who give the language its
vitality and growth.
Thus the men who pack mules and
horses for the trail over the mountains
and plains of the great West put u
tight "cinch" on many a "critter" be
fore the general public began to talk
familiarly of "getting a cinch" on any
proposition In which It was Interested.
The lumbermen Hi the gi'eat woods of
Wisconsin and the Northwest piled up
many millions of logs In booms and
watched the logs go tearing down the
swift little rivers after the "boom wns
busted" for many years before the
stock brokers and real estate agents
adopted their phraseology. Now there
are few people Indeed who do not
know what a "boom" Is and what is
likely to happen when a . "boom Is
busted. "
Sneaking broadly , there are two
kinds of slang. One depends for its
popularity on the mere fact that the
phrase Is mouth-filling and pleases the
popular fancy. Such slang Is likely td
have only a temporary popularity. The
slang which lives and which sooner or
later becomes a permanent part of the
language Is that which really means
something , which describes some fact
or condition In a new and vivid way.
The only class of highly educated
people who contribute to any extent to
the growth of the language Is the col
lege students. College slang Is so vivid
and has been so generally adopted that
a dictionary has boon Issued which Is
entirely devoted to the subject.
It was at ; a college boarding club , for
instance , that a student who wanted
the small milk pitcher asked a com
panion to "drive the heifer this way.1'
From terms originally used In collegw
games the language has adopted many
( useful phrases. It Is not many years
since the llrst curved ball was pitched
In-a baseball game , and yet the cur
rent phrase , "I am onto his curves , "
has a moaning entirely without connec
tion with the baseball diamond. From
the licit ! sports of collegians have come
the phrases to "jump on" a man and to
"jump on him with both feet. " Even
the great American game of draw
poker , which will not be claimed an a
college game exclusively , has added
several common phrases to the lan
guage. Many a man who hiis never
tried to "fill two pair" has "called a
blnir" or declared that he would "go It
i blind. "
1 It wns a farmer's boy who had touch-
I cd his tongue to the Iron pump handle
i on a below-7.ero morning who dlscov-
1 ered that "to freeze to" a person expressed -
pressed a strong degree of attachment.
The expressions "to get a load on" and
' "to carry a load" are plainly of conn-
1 try extraction and need no explanation.
' "A jag" Is a provincialism which
" means a little load , so that to say u
ninn 1ms "n bltr lair on" Is a contradlc-
| tlon In terniH. "Jag" Is one of the
American expressions which has hard
ly reached England as yet , If one may
Judge from the expression of a recent
author , who defined a "jag" as an urn-
brella and quoted as authority a para
graph from a St. I.otils paper which
announced that "Mr. Brown was seen
on the street lost Sunday morning In
the rain , carrying a tine largu Jag. " It
'
was a Chicago humorist who declared
that a man of his acquaintance was
sometimes entirely sober , though he
did "jutnp from jag to Jag like an alco
holic chamois. "
I Almost every business and profcs-
' Blon has given the most picturesque
words In Its particular vocabulary to
[ enrich the language. From the stock
exchange , for Instance , come "bulls"
and "bears , " a "corner. " and "mar-
; gins , " though these words were orig
inally borrowed and given new meanIngs -
Ings , by the stock brokers.
From the stage has come another
whole set of words which are now In
'
general use. The words "mascot" and
"hoodoo" were Invented on the stage ,
and have since been added to the vo
cabulary of the general public. Another
common word which originated on thu
ntage and passed thence Into ncwspn *
jpor otllccs la "faka. " To- < lay almost
every one would know what Is meant
when a man is described as n faker era
a plan as u fale.
ONE OF LOWELL'S JOKES.
Got un Opinion an Hin Mnmucrlpt
that Did Nut Flutter.
James Russell Lowell once deter
mined to piny a joke upon the popular
monthly to which ho often contributed.
IIo accordingly wrote a long , clever
article which ho called "The Essence
-of American Humor , " and read It to a
few of his Intimate friends , who said
that It was one of the best of his many
compositions. IIo engaged some one
to copy It and sign It "W. Perry
I'alne , " and sent it to the Atlantic
Monthly , with the request that , us it
was a maiden effort , the editor would
give au opinion lu writing to the said
Paine.
IIo waited a fortnight , but heard
nothing of his paper , when , being In
Boston , ho dropped Into the olllce of
the Atlantic , and , meeting the editor ,
James T. Fields , adroitly tuructl the
conversation upon humor , and re
marked that it was singular so little
was written on the subject. "Oh ! we
got u great deal of manuscript on hu
mor , " replied Mr. Fields , "but It's so
poor we cannot use It. I threw Into
the waste-basket the other day a loug
article entitled 'The Essence of Humor , '
which should have been styled 'Essence
of Nonsense , ' for a more absurd farrago
rage of stuff 1 have never seen. "
Mr. Lowell , much to the surprise of
the editor , burst into a roar of laughter ,
anil Informed Mr. Fields of the au
thorship of the article. The editor
turned all colors and declared It Avas
one of Lowell's jokes. "Indeed It is , "
responded Mr. Lowell , "and the best I
ever played ! I never thought highly
of my scribbling ; but I don't believe It
was the most ridiculous stuff you had
ever secnl" Cassell's Journal.
EMPRESS TAITOU ,
Some Idiosyncrasies of Ahyaslnln's
Hatlior Hcinurlcnhlv Queen.
There Is no European queen consort
filling u more dignified station than
the Empress Taltou of Abyssinia. She
has n large household of her own , her
lord stewards , chamberlains , butlers ,
cooks and guards. . She directs all the
grand feasts , has Immense appanages
all over the empire , and resources In
kind. She leads a sedentary life be
cause there are no Interesting prome
nades , but when she shows herself in
public she is surrounded with ladles ,
mounted on richly harnessed mules ,
with runners , umbrella-bearers and
other attendants. The umbrellas are
of many colors , but Taltou's is red.
The empress Is a stickler for eti
quette , to which Mcuclek attaches no
importance. Nobody who lias not been
formally presented to her must gaze
on her even within the precincts of the
palace. She has a large kitchen ( gar
den , which is one of her many delights ,
but the moment the red umbrella ap
pears the gardeners must retire. All
the servants stand aloof with downcast
eyes as she walks by. Not taking much
exercise , Taltou Is lost In fat. Never
theless , her presence Is dignified. She
Is wonderfully well Informed , converses
cleverly , and can be charming , tier
letters arc well written , and In a
'bright ' , natural stylo. They might put
to shame those of many a well-edu
cated European lady. The dress of
the empress Is only distinguished from
that of her ladles by its Impeccable
cleanliness and neatness. London
Standard.
i Specimen of Negro Logic.
That famous 'southern clergyman
Ilev. Dr. Porter , recently told a good ,
story illustrating the whimsical In
genuity of the Ethiopian mind. A
southern planter who was puzzled by
the disappearance of a great deal of
rice fouud out that It had been pur
loined by a favorite slave. lie sent
for the latter and said : "Sam , I am
very sorry to discover that you are a
thief and have been taking my rice.1
The slave smiled and answered : "I
took your rice , musscr ; but I'm no
thief. " "How do you make that out ? '
came the query. "Well , massor , does
I belong to you , or docs I not ? " "Yes
you belong to me. " "An * don't tha
rice belong to you ? " "Certainly. " "Well
then. If I take the rice and eat tha
rice It belongs to you still. It basn'
gone away from you and no other man's
got It , and so I couldn't have stolen It
could I ? " Evening Wisconsin.
Sympathy Misunderstood. '
I was walking In the direct ion of a
certain hospital the other morning
when I noticed a little girl some 5 or (
years old toddling along at my heels.
Whenever I stopped she stopped , and
waited for me until 1 started on again.
"Well , Bess , " I queried. She looked
coyly down at a pair of ragged shoes.
"What do you want ? A cent ? " 1
ventured.
She shook her head. "I wants to
foller yer to der hospital. "
"All right. Come along , " I answered.
"But what are you afraid of ? "
"I'm a-scarcd to go alone. So I toi
lers some out' . "
"Scared of what ? "
"Der Salvation Armory , " she an
swered. "Dey ketches yer and brings
yer Inter der aimory house , an1 den
dey says , 'Yer my chile , ' an1 so I'm
scared. " Boston Advertiser.
No Wootlon I'uveinontH for I'nrln.
Wooden pavements In Paris have
been"condemned , as they servo as a
breeding place for all kinds of danger
ous germs.
California Fruit.
California fruit dealers ship out 50-
000,000 cans annually.
We are admonished to "never do
things by halves , " but how about open
ing oysters ?
Dunp l.noe Collar * .
French dressmakers seem at laat \ &
have perceived the. picturesque quali
ties of the deep lace collar. Tbcso' 1
of tlie smartr r"
collars appear on many
est models , and arc formed of lace otl
of embroidered lawn. The lace- use *
Is not Hue , but open and rather coarse ,
guipure of Irish linen being first fav
orites. The collars are round and
deep , and are worn with no neckband.
Culls of the same lace often appear on.
the sleeves
I do not believe Piso's Cure for Con
sumption has an equal for coughs and
colds. John F. 15oyer , Trinity Springs *
Ind. , Feb. 15 , 1000.
Knuwthu Hope * .
"I suppose , " said the tenderfoot to-
Two-Tooth Thompson , "I suppose
that jou arc what wo easterns call a
'bad man. ' "
"Well , I don't exactly know , " re
plied Mr. Thompson , "but I'll say tills
for myself. I don't need no guid when
I'm huntln' for trouble. " Baltimore.
American. \
HAMAS 0 ATA UK 11 CVKK
Is taken internally. Price , 75 cts.
llnnk Advertising. " * i
A glance into the future Is afforded
by the newspapers of Uurllngton , Vt. , >
where every local bunking institution
advertises with as much spirit and en
terprise as a department store. The-
Merchants' bank ( one of the oldest
and most conservative in the state ) '
changes its "ads" every day , and besides - '
sides telling what it can do for people
gives good advice which leads them to
save money. The time is not distant *
when every unfossiliferous iinanclal
institution in the land will follow tuls >
example. Philadelphia Record. j .
w
Cnptiirlii ) ; the Fciniilu A'oto.
Of course it happened in the West
where woman have full suffrage.
"Ilowislt , . " the political manager
was asked , "that you failed to get the-
woman vote ? "
"We were caught napping , " he an
swered frankly. "We thought every
thing was all right , but the oppsltlon
got out an engraved ticket , while oura.
was only printed."Chicago Post.
. _ _ w. _ _ _ _ * .
V
A Brother's Love.
Lostnnt , 111. , July 8. James Watt , ot
this place , by one little act , has givea
a splendid example of that never dying
love which exists between brothers , no
matter how far apart they may be.
Mr. Watt was a great sufferer from
Kidney Trouble and Nervousness. He
was very much used up , and al'hough
he had tried a great many things , h&
had found nothing that would 10 any
way relieve him. Some one su tcsted
Dodd's Kidney Pills , und he used six
boxes , and wds completely cured.
Ills first thought was for a brother
in Belfast , Ireland , whom he knew to
be aftlicted Jn the same way tliat h
had been. Mr. Watt immediately sent
a supply of Dodd's Kidney Pills to this
far away brother , together with his
recommendation based on his fortun
ate experience.
An Eusy On .
"Boys , I've got a riddle for you : It'fc .
gray , has got long ears and you can. f
ride on it's , back ? "
" 1 know the answer , grandpop ! It's
you ! " Philadelphia Times.
Mn. Wlnslow's 80OTIUXO SYHUP for ch'IMr * * ,
teethlnir , noftcns the RUIIM. redticos InlUmatlon.
ally > pain , cures wind colic. Sic battle.
Somethlnc new. A fcsnt'p polld ( feM Collar IlttUon
guaranteed SO yfnra for only 48c. Ink 2 bottlei la.
Lead 1'cncilB II. 60 and thousand oilier cheap artletet.
F. W. KrueRCr Supply Co. , Vnypttovllle , Toiiv-v.
now to pretcnt falling out of hair and promote
Rrnwth of fame. Is a perfumed cosmetic an < D
can be made for SOo per pound , Send ia In Btsmpo
for recipe. J. W. Ltpucomb , M. D. ( 728 W. Mviilon
Bt. , Chicago.
CITO Permanently Cui od. Jforttsornerroasnesaaftw
rl I 0 : lrt duy'n UMI of Dr. Kline's ( ) r at fterva Ho-
rtorer. -D.1 fn-I- (
UIU It. KUXE.
Diplomacy is the first boon of
son.
A Skin of Beauty Is a Joy ForovorJ
T\ll. T. FCI.IX CHirKADD'H OKIKNTAtJ
CKKAM MAC10AI. HCAimVjfcu ?
nemoTpa Tan , IMmpTc3 ( Frectlf fc
tlolu ratchet , Icutb. anil hklo
dlttazes , und every blenileli od
beauty , and den
ttctirtmn. It hu
stood tlio teat of tt
Tcara , and ia s
ImrnileRS we t st lk
to [ be ture It it prop.1 !
erly inatlo. Acccp
no counterfeit of ,
Imtlirnainc. Dr. L , '
A. Huyro MM to * > '
lady of tlio hatii-toa1
( aiiatlent ) > "As yora !
ladlci will u c them'
1 recommend 'Oour-J
nud' C'rcam' as thu
least Imnuful of all
tlio Hliln preparivJ
tlono ' Foi br
all DniirKlita &QI4
Fancy-Goods Drnlcrs In thtf U. S. , Cnnadaa anil Europe.
FnnD. T HOI-KINS , I'rop'r. 57 Oreat Jones St. . V. Y.
A
Double Daily Service
FREE RECLINING CHAIR
CARS ON NIGHT TRAINS.
For Informillcn or Rates , call upon er ( IdM * *
noireit Agent , or
S. M. ADSIT , a. P. A. ,
ST. JOSEPH , MO.
All tlbt rAltS.
ItMeaUood. Ure
N.N.U. NO , 675-28 , YORK , NtB. ]