I etty , ot "f be Old ( jrudrje. By .1. 11. CONNELLY. OopyrlElit. 18U ' ri 1B3.1. by Rohort lion frV Son * . [ All ileht * reiwjrrpd J OUAPTUIt XII. ; Dny" waa OIILof the great the ypiir. Men who had "ill v * Wrltiifli" were not scarce ; the Mcxl- JSWE War ypt too n-efiit for HH licrous to SJ * m el > spoken of nn "vctrrans , " except * r.wrstorii'al oilert ; ami a vaguely pli-an- on pervnilcil the country that -tfkr citi/en slionld Hland , meta- with a chip on his shoulder , oomc effete monarchy to "knock pot licked. " Martial uplrlt and lirhlc Htiiinilatcd a general inter- Jjfi'iihiR alive military organl/.a- Of course , the best "volunteer" w , axjust HOC iniirli xcrvlce before they the -HtcJiillness and ( llsclpllnc of and our host military estab- attaliiDblc then waa very far oh perfection as the severely 'f- fobool of civil war ban nine1 us an tlic ailaptatlon of our mill- lorcos for ready mohilir.ation as a ( iiinril. " But our militia was .then , la proportion to the populu- * hn it is now , anil perhaps win in- -3t vd with aioro bpontaiu'lty of patriotic tliun lccn ) olmorvalile 'n s , partlcnlaily slnco its main cm- lias been in HIP overawing and I I of labor doinmistratloiih. Then , uian rapnhlu of hearing arms was , aacroly nomlnnlly ami theoretically , itoat o Mtlciilly n ineinbpr of it , siipposn- nntl pager to rush forth , at any armpd with ills own gun , sup- -ltb bis owa aminunitloii , clad ac- * rofjfirvs : to bis own means and fancy , and , ti * eoBt anciiRiirably provided with bis rations , to p.\tcrmlnatc foreign foes , or In jub lots , as they might Hi'e A. * P present tbomsclvcs. To be nu icnn nnd to bavt ; a gnu were the laal essentials , in popular pstlma- 'Elic man who could not ho depend- to do good fighting "on his own independent of bow anybody else Am si'tting oil in the tnolce of a would not have been coiifild- inncli account. C35 iw .were prepared to affirm that there -ra * . ot a desirable quality of style about "Wjunjwny ami even regimental evolutions 'iir. Kfeifl of war , but u popular feeling ex- < 3V Ud that rehearsal of such things dur- fflrtjl.profBund peace was little bettor than tjGbrMflung < dinft and winnowing tlio east 1-war.S. 'Should they over be necessary , rJir > sric.ius could pick them up iu a few atjfffn. IIrnci > , "Training Day , " though wre > 3'where observed as an occasion for vjirrtSbmfnastlc demonstration of patriotic martial spirit , involving not n little Jubilation and license , was bcri- $ f lacking in the educational ebiirae- cnnteuiulntrd by tlip law. early in the forenoon the popula- thp whole country-side seemed t < ' S'fae locking en masse into the little town ' XWnBbington , the county scat , and Its wore noon thronged with cqui And sleighs of all sorts and sizes , ilx ; dainty "cutter" to tbo ponder ilnrni wagon body temporarily upon bob-sled runners. Not only > &ir .defenders of the republic camp teen on "Training Day , " but their moth- , wives , sisters and sweethearts as ! - . for there was both a gallant show V4t > * * * and shopping , long deferred for rtlSs-eta.sion , to bo done. Women packed rtt aii t the general storps , whpre < lry XjofflB , plows , crockery , school books , mo- tiuiothy seed and a thousand other RO v < 'ip sold and all farm produce moil crowded tbp particular ; that dealt exclusively in wet goods , in these days the prohibition niove- osr .sut tnd not yet even chipped Its shell , jfxfjSnobody thought barm of taking "a ii'fcwp to keep the cold out , " or , mayhap , * " * io , JJiipr for sociability's sake. " VT&vfinn ynrtls were tilled with fainll } wsi'cists , and around three ships of tbp Bowrthouse saddle horses were lied to tin1 SRrails as closely as they would without fighting. The keen , still was full of the cloaking of sleigh run ' < ra the snow , the jingling of Kilveij bolls , neighing of horses and of salutation between acquaint- tlio shrill sounds of a flo and -clatter > ot a drum awoke the echoes A now sort of disturbance , and the followed by all the boys in inarched the length of the main ytsaat aud buck ug'iin ' , lo the ' 'common , " . -great open stjuaro near tlio court tvboro the drilling was to takf There , by tbo tlag polo , in all bi diRuity of cocked bat , crimson sash flvord , fat Captnin Kainsoy stood , > lB hnnd , awaitltiK bis citizen sol- all dirot'tlons they camp t In bet haste ; and a MuitU > \ look B5 mob tbt-y uori' , so far as clothing no two wining to l p drcss-od allKo aud stalwart men thvy wore , will e.igoroub framt-s , oloar , daring oyos- tread ; men wiio looked as if fa nnd fear would bo alike strange to . .Here and there an old man , roallj ( fey ago from military duty , yi > onKrfliUil .of such release , bore a sliotgun Itost , with llioai' few exceptions , the arms t c.the.huads of all were tbo long , heavy KtttBle-lau > im Miutrrol rillo , a ! > mill-bor ; t-fl woapwi , but one that would cany far catnd with splendid precision , Almost ever ; nrxtstt of Captain Itamsoy's one hundrci vM 4 spvpnteon would have boon able , will gun , 'to hit a button on a ml Jjroust as far as bo could SPO i particularly if that button iliotih to be on a rod coat. the "Common" the big f.tiu ft n wore drawn up , and in tbuin wrapped In their robon am tb Isdios sat , looking on aud thrill ibat inexplicable fascination whiol evolutions always hcem to hav women. With them , to bold th whpn the martial music mad slilvor ami dance , sat the old nu > n , .HXK > wolsht of years forbade their ac a i * * > rvioe on tbp training ground , ant ur t i , tavoluntarlly rosontlng that fact ii * < r * 'tisspurlng in sarcastic criticism their cnvlpd juuiors iu tbo ranks R VP tlu'iu relief to say things ilk "Turn your Iocs out , Sam ! Vou walk like u pigeon. " "Will some lady plenw admire Mr. Me- PhersonV" "Stop out llit-rc , Diive ! Vou stutter with both feet ! " To Biioh bantering salutations the IIIPII addressed made lively tcsponsps in kind , and Oaptam Uuuii-cy in vain made him self red shouting : "Sllcnco in tbo miiks ! " But then * wore , also , plpasantcr Inter- cbniiKPH of tPKiird ( ban those salutes and replies inaudible to tbo oars , but full of music to the heart. The young militia man uni rare , who did not know , or at least bi'liovo , ( lint some fair spectator's brightrst smile of admiration bad a di rectly personal Mif.'iiiliiMiiro to him. .lolm Cameron , for Instance , felt bis pulses thrill and bis heart boat lil h at si bt of Hetty Mnlvell's sparkling eyes , full ot love anil pride , followIiiK him constantly ; while she , sreiiii : that be knew of and re joiced In her presence and regard , Hushed with happiness and bent upon him as next be advanced toward hera smile elo quent with tender alfoction. Notwithstanding the profound convic tions in the mind of every citizen soldier present , that it did not really make the sllKbtost difference whether a nun was carried on tbo right or the left shoul der , so long as It was kept bandy for iso ; that it was "domed nonsense" to batter - tor the butt of a rifle on the hard frozen ground for an "ordor arms" ; and that marching and counter-mardilng , wheeling and alignment , wore all matters of more sbo\v nnd not at all essential to good lighting they really wont through the drill in a very creditable fashion ; and Onptaln Itntnipy had peed reason for tolling them , ns he did before "breaking ranks , " that bo was proud of them. "Well , " remonstrated some of the mpn ; "if we can do it so good already , what's tbo use of keeping us freezing our tees just to do It .some moreV" "You wouldn't durst to talk back that way to ( Jen. Scott , If be was drilling you , " retorted tlio captain , who lost no opportunity for reviving the recollection that bo had served In real war undpr that hero's command , "Maybe so , but you ain't no Opn. Scott , " argued thp men with cold foot. IIo good-naturedly admitted tbo point well taken ; and after announcing the usual "dross-parado" ut II o'clock in the afternoon , gave the order to "break ranks. " The American Eagle tavern the prin cipal house of entertainment In town- had more patrons at dinner that day than it could accommodate at one time , so , in compliance with established custom on snob occasions , tbo first table was re served for ladies , and , while tbpy wore dining , the men sought comfort elsewhere In places where it could be bad In a fluid and promptly assimilable form. One oC these places , despite the cold , was on an pea lot , a little way above the tavern , vliere a thrifty citl/.on bad built an at- ractivc log fire , and near it tapped u arrel of "lieart-of-clder , " of his own inking. "Now , this , " exclaimed Uncle David ieiitleison , as IIP strolled up , spread him- elf before the blazp and stretched out lis hand for a glass of tlio potent but eduetlvc beverage , "is the sort of thing admire. A good lire to warm the toes , i clean liquor of Nature's brewing to vnrm tbo hoiirt , and all right out in the Hire , open air. 1 poked my nose Into McClosKey's , as I came along , looking 'or a friend , and I declare the heat and bo smoke and the vile smell .if the liquor 'on n'most made me su-k. " "It's a w.onder to me. " remarked a ipighbor. touching glas.sps with Undo ) avld , "that young men find any pleasure n such nasty places. I'll be hound vou weren't poisoned by the like when jou were young , or you never would have n'ruwn to be the man you ate. " Uncle David admitted that might be line , though , so for as he was aware , he bail simply grown up big anil strong he cause it was his nature to do so. "Did you ever moot a man as strong " ason . aieV" "No ; that be didn't , I'll IIP bound ! " nns\sered another for him , and a mur- murpd chorus rumbled around the eirele about tbo tire : ' " ' " "Tam't llkoly ! "Guess not ! " "Ain't but one Uncle Dave ! " "Uncle Diuid" Henderson was OUP of tbp most famous of tbp early settlers ot WeHtt'tn I'enasjlviiniu. and all through that part of the country surprising leg ends are still current lelating to hi- > giant strength. Ho was an extraordinarily largo man. bis stature slightly exceeding six feet and four indies , but so admira ble were his proportions that , unless chancp favored comparisons with others , it stranger would not lie likely to appre ciate readily bow enormous hp was. lie had a kindly face , blue pyes and very soft , brown hair , well inclined to curl , that at this time was brightened , hero ami there , by threads of silver , and his lound-cropped , close-cm hng beard was .ilmost white. No better-tempered man lived , pt few bad mure frequent fights if so might be tormeil the brief muscular p.\ercihe with which be saddened those who assailed him. No 111 feeling charac terized tbp attacks upon him. Other big and strong men simply wanted to have it determined uhothci he was their phjsical supoiior or not. He never bad to settle that question twice for the same man ; but in a equanimity that almost worshiped bodllj prowess a condition inseparable from frontier life , and one which poisists long after tbp direct causes have pui-sod away its lepetltlotiH became iiionotou ous. ous.On On one occasion , while be was building the Venice court house , as lie sat dozing iu the public- room of tbo little hotel where he boarded , nftei a long day of very hard work , n burly West Virginian prebcntc'd himself and persisted in wak ing him up. Bystanders shook their beads and said It was ill advised ; I'tielp Dave had boot ) handling and hauling stone all day , was tired nnd mightn't lllti1 It. But thp stranger was troubled with the iitino old question. "Oil up V fight 1" IIP shouted , shaking the drowsy giant. "I've heard of > oii 'way down In the Panhandle , V 've come up lo give you a tussle 'n' see who's best man. " . " .lust HII > you are and IP ! me alone. I'm no tighter , and I'm tired ami sleepy. O' "way ! " protested Unelp David. "Whoopee ! " yelled the Panhandler , jumping up and cracking bis heels to gether. "I'm a wolf ! I'm a catamount * I'm a bull ! Come 'n' feel of my teeth. ' Come 'n' ride on my horns ! Nobody can lick mo ! Whoopee ! " And be dealt Uncle David a sounding smack on one of his placid cheeks. .fust bow It happened be never after ward could tell , but the rash man's first sensation was of being poised iu the air , up near the celling ; the next , of flying through siuiee , as If IIP had been shot from a catapult ; then of a fearful crash and darkness and the fading awny of all things. When consciousness returned , lie sillily struggled to bis feet , hobbled to the door , and only pausing long enough to remark : "Gcn'l'mon , a dern fool is g\\hip j back to the Panhandle of West Virgin ny , " passed out into the night and was 'onc. Uncle David bad hurled him , as i strong boy might a ball , against a wall full twentj feet away. Then lie sat down mid dozed again. On the present occasion , the already reported conversation among the group ) l friends and neighbors about the 'heart-of-cidor" barrel naturally led to drawing Uncle David out , to show some- : hing of what bo could do , and , upon the ; ) i'ptext of a trifling wager , hi- was led to lerform a feat that is still talked of in Washington Comity and has been uiisuc- ccssfull > attempted since by thousands of other strong men. Not more than a quarter of liquor , the > wncr said , hail been drawn out of tbp iiarrel , so that the weight of the heavy ; taokago and its contents could baldly lave been less than three hundred pounds Grasping the chimb , or hoveled ridge made by the ends of the wtavos , which nffoided only a treacherous bold for the ends of his lingers , lie , without my apparent difllrulty , lifted the barrel out of thp sleigh , in which it bad been standing , and set it do\ui befoio him in tbo snow , to have its bung removed. When that had been done , he grasped it iigain , as before , lifted it pa&ily and gracefully to the height of ills lips , said , n a leisutcly , unconstrained way : 'Hero's to you. boys ! " and , placing the bunghole to bis mouth , took a deliberate [ Irlnk tliprofrom , after wblcli he set it lightly back upon its former place in the sleigh. After n brief pausp of stupetipd aston- sbnipnt , tbp witnesses of the astounding feat simultaneously united in a shout of applause. .lust about tbp same moment a very dif ferent sort of shout was raised at the other end of the town , in the offensive MeCloskey's" nicntionod by Undo Da vid. Kimeon Mulvcil had adhered t ohis ma levolent plan for bringing disgrace upon John Cameron. The county paper fully realized his expectations. Silver spoons , bearing the initials of Mrs. It. W. Billings had been stolen , nine or ten weeks before , from that lady's bousp , on the Canons- burg turnpike ; and silver spoons marked 'H. W. B. " were on John's table , prac tically in his possession , the day of the frolic. That was enough to justify a warrant. The constable know very well that nothing could be more wildly improb able than that John Cameron should IIP a thief ; but be said to himself , doggedly : "if beV Innocent , let him prove it. " With tbp warrant in his pocket , he glo.ited over the anticipated triumph of his liatp and waited for "Training Day. " But it was hardly so easy as he bad expected it would be , on that occasion.to , find a safe opportunitj for making flip arrpst. John's fondness for ill-smelling saloons seemed to be no greater than his uncle's , and , cither to enjoy the pure air or to catch occasional glimpses of Hetty , he kept upon the street , generally sur rounded by a band of sturdy Camoronlaii friends. Eventually , however , a little aftei dinner , beiplded . to the persua sions of an acquaintance , uho wanted him to "go and have one drink , " and to gether they sauntered into the Inr-room nearest at band , it happened to bo Me- Closke.ii's. Had one thought of the old feud recurred to John's mind , he would probably have shunned thp pTaop. not for fear's sake , but from dislike , for it had always been , as it was now , tbo chief haunt of thp Muivell faction. But to him the fond had become a thing of tbp remote past , never recalled except when somebody reminded him of it. Seeji In the magic light of his love for Ilettv. Mnlveils looked to him like brothers , and. so far as be was com/erned / , the hatchet had been buried. But McCloskpy's was a bad place to nurture that kindly spirit in a Cameron. Thp unimproved MulveiK were still there , in strong force. In deed , of all the boisterous , .semi-inebriat ed crowd thronging the groggorj , but one other man was a Cameion. and bis pres ence was about as accidental as John's. Just as John raised front the liar a glass of cider that be bad ordprod Ton- table Mulve.l clutched his shoulder and shouted , in a tone to attract general at tention : "I arrpst you In thp namp of the law ! " The score of voices that an liist.tnt be fore bad been declaiming , wrangling , laughing nnd shouting were suthhniy liusbpd to perfect silence. "Arrest IIIP ! What for ? " demnndpd tbpoung man , more amazed than an.\- bed > else. "Kor boin * a d d thief ! " shouted Itufus Ooldlo , secretly anxious to precipi tate a conflict , in which a deadly injury might bp covertly inflicted , under a plea of legal justification , Upon bis successful rival. Hardly had the words left bis lips , when quick as lightning , John dashed tlio glass niUl elder into his face , temporarily blimlini , ' him , and , at the same time , with his left band , floored Simeon , uho wont down yelling : "Mnlveils ! Help , MulveiN : " Ills voice awokp u very pandemonium The old faction spirit tlanied up. like tow touched by lire. Veils , curses , threats , thp sounds of blows , the smashing of bottles tles and the grinding of glass under trampllm ; feet , madp an Infprnnl uproar. John , stoutly backed by tbp friend who enteied with him and the solitary Cam eron already there , fought nobly , hut the odds against the trio werp overwhelming. A score of savage Mulveils , all who could get near enough to do so , attacked them at once ; while as many more , close be bind , ypllnd threats nml expcrationi , hurled - ' ed iiiiftiilo * at their purposed victims , and i were ready to spring Into the front row1 of attack us those before them were fell- ' ed. Using a heavy stool as a weapon John piled Mulveils about him in heaps , but brave , strong ami desperate as be was , could not maintain more than a few moments longer such a fearfully unequal combat. His friend , who wns nearest the door , fought bi.s way out , and , cov- erpd with blood , ran staggeringly tip the street shouting the old battle cry : "Cameions ! Camerons to the rescue ! " When be reached Uncle David be cried to him : "They are killing John Cameron In McClobkey's ! " ( To bp continued. ) STUNTS BY AN OLD CLOWN. Cleverly Kutertuiiiei ! Kin Fellow Suf ferer * In u Hospital. Joseph Sheehun , formerly a clown and comic singer , to whom fate has dealt more than his Hlnuv of misfor tune , but who maintains a smiling ex terior despite hlH 111 luck , Is eon lined to the prisoners' ward at tin- city hospital. His rotund countenance is disfigured because of a compound fracture of the jaw , but lie Is able to talk , though , as he ptitu It , the broken bone he cracked his voice. Yesterday his Hpirlts reach ed the point of exuberance and he In sisted on entertaining the Inmates of ills ward with an Impromptu show , In which lie was both support and star. A table served for a stage , and on It ho sprung "gags" without number , did acrobatic "stunts" and exhibited feats of legedremaln. Ills efforts brought forth great applause. After he had finished the hat was passed around , says the St. Louis Republic. As none of the prisoners had a cent of money the ic'tult of the collection waa rather ludicrous. It consisted of two slices of bread one piece of ham. a pocket knife with three blades missing , one needle , a half of a pocket haiidker chief , a spool of thread and a dozen other trinkets. Sheelian was apparent ly more than satisfied wIMi his profits ami made an appropriate speech of thanks. . After ills epilogue , he allowed Guard Kclley to lock him up in his cell. .Sheohan has no home and has had none for twenty-live years- . 'When my hat Is on my house is shin gled. " says he , "and when my coat is bill toned my trunk Is locked. This Is the way I look at life. The fact is that since my wife and children died I have not cared much what became of me. I've just batted around from post to pillar , making my living by being a funny fellow. It hasn't been so 'funny. ' though , to me. " The Uaiiishinoiit of Kvr. A small colony of men who are of the opinion that women are not neces sary to their happiness arc about to establish themselves In a salubrious and fertile corner of the State of Now York and to rigorously exclude from their midst all women , both youn ? : and old. In this way they will llnd peace and avoid worry. Their friendships will be undisturbed , their minds will be unrutlled , their work and their amusements will show no checks , and they seem to fancy that they will all be supremely happy. Of course , the scheme will end In dismal failure. The cooks may be perfect , the Chinese hiundrymi'ii may wasli and mend most satisfactorily , the domestic arrange ments may be thoroughly carried out by male servitors , but there is great consolation In the knowledge that man will not be satisfied all the time. lie will miss being worried , he will miss havlngsomethlng at which to grumble. More than all he will inNs being ad mired and as the vanity of men is even more Insistent than that of woman , no man will be happy under such barren conditions. \Vlicrc Ho Should Have Ilcuii. A cle-rgjimin not long since observed n horse jockey tryinsr to take In u gentleman by Imposing upon him a broken-winded horse for a sound one. The parson , taking the gentleman aside , told him to be cautious of the person he was dealing with. The gentleman declined the purchase and the jockey , quite nettled , observed : " Parson , 1 had much rather hear you preach than to sec you privately inter fering In bargains between man and man In this way. " "Well. " replied the parson , "If you had been where you ought to have been last Sunday you might have heard me preach. " "Where was tliatV" Inquired the Jockey. "In the state prison. " returned the clergy man. Hint to Suburban Smokers. "I seldom advise my patients to stop smoking , because I know it's a waste of breath to do so , " remarked a subur ban physician. "In many cases I do advise moderation In the use of the weed , and when a patient has a weak throat there is one thing that I posi tively Insist upon , and that is that he shall not ride In the smoking cars at tached to railroad trains. Breathing that atmosphere for half an hour will do a man more injury than smoking half a dozen cigars In the open air , erIn In a properly ventilated room that Is not crowded with other smokers. Smoke If you must , I say. but steer clear of smoking cars. " Ail Old Fort In Florida. The oldest fort In America Is at St. Augustine , Kin. It was built by the Spanish over three centuries ago. It was for a long time used as a prison. A few weeks spent In the average boarding liotiso will convince almost any man that be ought to have a home of his .own. We have three kinds of people in the world ; the wills , the won'ts and the cnu'tH. The man who live * In a garret builds the most air castiot. b Jt „ tllfifJL Tlic building trades of Chicago report much activity In the various brunches of the Industry. The Itutnll dorks' Union of San Francisco has been served with an In- Itiuctloii restraining It from boycotting Inns that refuse to accede to the early closing movement. The United Brewery Workers' Union .H San Francisco unanimously adopted t resolution to levy a line of ? . " > on any member who Is discovered patronizing i non-union shop or repairing establish ment. The brewery workers of Huston. Tex as , have won the eight-hour workday In all branches of their trade. This Is the llrst union of brewerymen having mule this progressive demand and won It. A. satisfactory agreement has been reached between the Stove Foundry- men's Association and the Iron Mold- ers' International Union. The agree ment , signed by committees of the as sociations , provides for arbitiatlon on ill questions that Is not embodied In the agreement , and the wage scale Is : he same as last year's. Secretary Ileeuan , of the Painters' Union , reports substantial gains in that organization since the consolidation of the two branches has been brought about. Seventy-eight charters have ) cen Issued since that time , making ai gain In members of 5,083. The total membership Is 31,280. with $13.003 In. the treasury. New York leads , with ( US ocal unions , Illinois second. Chicago ) cads the country , with more than 3.000 members. M. B. Hatchford , Commissioner of La- ; ) or Statistics in Ohio , has prepared : i ! table of statistics showing a remarkable - * able Increase In the strength and Inllu- * ence of the labor unions of that Stattl during the last year. Unions to tluj number of 030 icported.5W ) having been irganized within the year. There wcnj 03 strikesof 23 days' average duration ] and the average number Involved In : ij strike was 110. Arbitration by thd State board Is favored by ' 113 unions , and arbitration by joint commissioner : ] s favored by 355 union * . Thirty-threij unions appealed for arbitration within ] the year and 10G have wage agreements ] The unions reporting reached from alJ sources during the year 927U.OS8.72. JUKI > ald out in benefits $ iO.310.ii2. The bU mice on hand In the treasury of thu1 inions Juno 30 last was $ it : < i. < it5.SS. ! ) HE WORE RED UNDERWEAR. This ShockH'l H Cnirliiutor'tt Wife ami " lie I."ft Her llnpn.v Home. A Chicago music teacher sued for divorce because her artistic sense waa shocked when her husband insisted on wearing red underwear. The trouble In the Zim merman family , on lira ml Boulevard. Chicago. Is out , and the daughter of the house lias revealed the cause. Tills Is her story : "I'apa persists In wearing the red dest kind of underwear , aud mamma can't bear that. Then , too , he will wear woolen socks ( In winter ) , and mamma thinks that's awtully coarse. Another thing that embarrasses ma ma is that Instead of keeping a nice suit of clothes at the station and don ning thorn when he gets off duty , lie comes strolling down the street In full view of our arlstociatlc neighbors with his brass-buttoned uniform and conductor's cap on. Of course , our swell social friends notice and remark sneorlugly on this , and It Just crushes mamma. " Papa Zimmerman is an Illinois Cen tral conductor , and his wife1 Mrs. Oollata went to Europe six years ago and it Is mild to have spoiled her. The mother Avantod the daughter educated for the stage. The father didn't. Sep- | aration. Mother and daughter went to live together elsewhere. A Mclanulioly AVIt. That laughter is by no means an In fallible symptom of a merry heart is' proven by the story of Carllni , at one' ; lme the drollest buffoon on the Italian stage at Paris. A French physician , being consulted Jy one who was sub ject to the most gloomy tits of melan choly , advised his patient to frequent cenes of gaiety and particularly the Italian theater. "And , " said he , " 1C Carllni does not dispel your gloom , youi * case must be desperate , Indeed. " "Alas , sir , " said the patient. "I am Carllni ; while I divert all Paris with mirth , I myself , am actually dying of1 melancholy. " Ijlttlo Kleop. The distinction among animals oC requiring least sleep belongs to thn elephant. In spite of his capacity for hard work the elephant seldom , if ever , sleeps more than four , or occasionally live , hours. Sign of 1'rctension. "Those folks In the next Hat arc aw fully pretentious. " "Are they ? " "Yes. She M nds her visiting card over two middle names on It when she wants to borrow butter. " Puck llookn Published iii ( jumiuny. In Germqny , 24,702 books were pub lished in 1000. an Increase over 1SOC of 1,070. The largest Increase wua In educational works , the smallest lo books * J war aud military matters. U'liy lln Jlrlilk * Clmiupugnn. "Drinking cluimpiiunc , eh ? You used to be Biitlslied with olaret. " 'J know , bub my rich aunt , who died recently , lefo me " "Oh , I sec. Left you a lot of mon ey. " "Not only that , but made mo prom ise not to 'look on the wine when It la red. " _ Plso's Cure cannot be too highly1 spoken of as a cough cure. J. W. . O'Brien , 'J22 Third uventie , N. Min neapolis , Minn. , .lan. 5 , 1000. Il r I.ovn K He "If you did not love me , why did you encourage me ? " She 1' ! ? Encourage you ? " He "For two. seasons you have ac cepted every one of my Invitations to * the theatre , etc. " She "That was not l ecauso I loved you ; it was because I loved the theatre. " _ TO CUIli : A OM > IN 0X15 I > , V1T Tnkc Luxntlvii Uromo Quinine Tablets. All dnigglstR refund thn money ifit fulls to euro. K. W. Grove's signature is oneucli box 25o. Prom liiflliinii. The young lady with the Rreen- threaded coat and Deavonshire hat was Interested in looking over books in McUlurg's. "Where is 'The gentleman from In diana ? ' " she asked of the new clerk he of the auburn hair ( lowing from , the middle. . "Whv , I used to live in Indiana , nirdam , " > aid he , with a conscious blush even redder than his hair. Chicago cage Record Herald. llo Yonr Feet Ache nntl flurnf Shake Into your shoes , Allen's Foot- Ease. n powder for the feet. It ninket tight or Now Shoes fed Easy. Cures Coras , Bunions , Swollen , Hot nnd Sweating Koet. At all Druggists nnd Shoe Stores , 2 , " > c. Sample sent KHEE. Address Allen S. Oluistfd , LeUoy , N. Y. . \ntlrlmtory Action. "Hiram , I am considering a propos al of marriage , and , as you have been coming to see me for nearly six years , I thought it would be no more than right to tell you of it. " "Why , Bella , 1 I have always wanted to ask you myself. " "Why haven't you done it ? " "I 1 haven't dared to. Will you marry me , Bella ? " "Yes. " "You dear girl" ( Pause , properly tilled up. ) "Tell me , now , Bella , whose proposal of marriage were you considering ? " "Yours , Hiram. " Wlinre tli Money Cnnif From. Stranger "Whose place is that over there ? " Native "That's the new mansion of one of our wealthy sugar refiners. " Stranger "Ah ! another house built upon sand. " Native "Say , rather , on the rocks that lie made out of sand. " Catholic Standard and Times. Out ot an I'liKii cinont. Tramp "Please , mum , would yo mind helpin' a reduced professional gentleman wet cant git engagements this tim o' year ? " Farmer's Wife " ! "Hugh Profes sional gentleman , are you ? " Tramp "Yes , mum. I'm a pro fessional scarecrow , mum. " Mi. ) Couldn't Hi' . Miss l'eartr-"Diel you ever look ab yourself in the lass when you weio angry ? " Rival Belle'No ; I'm never angry when I look In the glass. " Hotter Than "Christian Srioncc. " Jctmore , Kans. , July 1st. Mrs.u ? Jones Freeman , daughter ot Mr. G. G. Jones of Burdett. and one of the most popular ladies in Hodgeman County has boon a martyr to headache for years. It lias made her life a continual misery to her. She suffered pains in the small of the buck , and had every symptom of Kidney and Urinary Trouble. To-day she is well as any ludy in the state. This remarkable change was due en tirely to a remedy rocentl.v Introduced here. It is called Dodd's Kidney Pills , and mnn\ people claim it to be an in fallible cure for Kidney Diseases , Khcumatism and Heart Trouble. Mrs. Freeman heard of Dodd's Kid ney Pills , and almost with the llrst ' dose , she grew belter. In a wpek. her ' head aches and other pains had gone , and she had left behind her all her ill ness and days of mlserj. A medicine that can do for any one * what Dodd's Kidney Pills have dent -t for tills lady is very soon to be univer sally used , and already the demand lor these pills has Increased wonderfully In Pawnee and Hodgeman Counties , A\here HIP particulars of Mrs. Free- man's case and its curls are known. The rock of Gibraltar has four huge reservoirs capable of holding live mil lion gallons of water. EXCURSION RAIDS t' W ( Ktern CHH oda mid par. tlrti1,111 aa to hoiy to ft&cur * JUi il : r > a ot tlio bun W hnt motting Unit on thu ContU nni can be cnrei1 on a p. PIIC turn to tl > Sijiwrtn- teniirni of Imtnuratloo. I ) ' iiwo , rKn dn , orths un- ° Q1 * a"i Minn , on th lit each month n np cmlly Iw rutr t & SS \ \ rlt to r PcJ * y. Supt. Iinnitkirutlon. Ottnwn , GirmtU or ttin unilHrtlKiifil , uho wll m M you utliist'ji. pnniplileti , ftc- . , frraofosf W V. llin- lir'lv .wl . ? * for Y. ft. the Got " 9 eminent .BulW.n . * o . Om.li . N- UUKtS V HtHt AIL Hit UILS. K nJt tXitwh tiftup. U'astes UIXK | , Vto i In time. Hold br rirueelsts. N.N.U , NO. 674-27. YORK Nl BtJ