etty , or The Old
. .
By J. II. CONNELLY
iAi'Tnu x.Continued. ( . ) - |
"Oli , hut this it line' " Hliouleil several
yoir.v. "line , Jim. lie down lIKIlIn ! < Ct
at iiiml hojs ! "
Hi H moment , OIK' of tinjoinu : men
ptrPtchpil liiinwplf out mi liN back , Upon
IOK. liimlim : lii" 'irtu ' cttiilKht l > ! *
nlili'H , nnil luilf n ihiwi otliei * ninth . d
thi'insph PH. three on cadi hide , with mete-
Jy the lips "f ii loii'fliiKcrs touclihiK
film dmof HIP bjilandcih cxehilmeil :
"Mold In. " urn ! tinMVPII held Hidi
liu'iith. until tlipj M-enird to swell ami
ow roil , uhfll just UK 11 wan PV lib-Ill
tliej conlil not ciiniinup ihe reslr.ilnl n
ffi-fotiil loiiBpr IIP ouli . l"Noxx' " And
in ti nllj tlic recumbent imm ceeiiicil to
flout up In ( litmr , not lib n llflcil welulil.
dm rnlliPi n n cork , llbpratpcl deep 'I'1"1 ' '
( n tlic xxutpr. tliirtK up to tilt- sin fan-
MjinlfcKtlj , the tix hntl pniiln.\Ptl | no c\
rtinn , such f would IIHVP IIPPII nt PCS
tt > lo n the sttlrclj jounc fellow up
, lii tlint f.iHlilott iimlci oidlnarj com ! !
( tions.
The minister wns iisioni-linl , ami tell
that IIH ! Cdiilicli'iice In tin lnxot
tnllon bud been dnin { elj lictrnjccl. An
for an pxpbimitioii. lie had none , mul
Siavint : finnp , IIP vci.x milniallj. from hi-
point of vh'xx , was diipou'd lo stiKimtti/i'
the IticomprpliPiislhlp llihiK as "the work
at HIP devil , " a time honoied , clciiciit
waj of meeting all soils of ililllcultipH. A
fortunate cIlxctHlon , IIOXXCXPI , naVcd him
from commlttliiK lilmsplf to even that
' ' arroKiint hound-
orthodox icfiufp. 1'1'e '
pup. that had followed him upon the
ground , oxeiweenhiKly conscious of ills
tiiH'tlon as the mlnlstPiV don , had beei
achieving a Mcadily increasing mipopii
laritj ainciiiK the othei dois hj M < * super
cilious manners , until pxcntunllj , a cur
of low decree , taking Kilcjxous oflpiiMj at
his ostentatious HCOIII , sudci'i\l ! \ > moiintccj
bim and took a Hamph- piece fiom
Beck. The pup's hasij comments on HIP
cutrupxvcrp uttered in a tone so pierc
ing that all the other plebeian dogn seem
a < i suddc'iilj iiiHpiiPil b.x Ic fien/.j to keep
lilm up to concert pitch , and joined In a
aeneral mclei- , with him as the ccMitral
jiohit of their fprooioiis actlvitj A buck-
vt of xxatc-r hurled upiin tliem put a
i > pccd.x end to thp tiKht , hut HIP fenr of
his tattp.ied pup still further dam-
was pxcii8c pnoiicli for thp minister
to hiihlen awnj xvithnut Npcmlln ) ; anj
timein Hicomin } , ' tipnn stratiKe iilic'iuim
< > na In natuial phlloMiphy. As IIP code-
on * he called back :
"If I KCI time , 1 will send a commiinl-
cutian about it to the WaHliliiKton Intel-
llKciicer. "
Him Mulveil wlipplcd tnitckly to ( loldic ,
v\h6 xx as hln ccuit > tant compiinlcin , and
lapplni ; him on the shoiildpr ,
in u toneof triumph :
"I've : ot It , b' co"h ! "
" ( ot
" \Vliat I was to hip to think of. Tlip
urinnof that paper IHUIIK it hack to nip
It n-as In tlu Inti'lllueneer 1 HIIW it ,
jjood t\\o montlis jo. "
"Wellhut WIIR it , unjMnyY"
"JS'perou , mind jtiBt now. 1'vp jot to
JKO over toViihh I UK ton and t.pe the pa
IILTK that far hack , hefoip I buy for c.e.r
tain. Hut > ou'll Bee I ho piide of tliu
conceited .lolin C.\meion takvn do\Vu i
good ninny pptw hpfore IOIIK , and with
itbpm pHias , loo. "
"What ! You don't menu it ? "
"ypi > f I do. Hut you l.eop jour jnw
vim ! nhont it. I'll do nothing until 1 get
eood and ready , for when 1 strike it will
lie foi keepn. If I don't take him , I'll
Quit hein' countable. "
"Why , Sim ! Yon don't menu to haj
thum spoons are - "
"Yc * . 1 , do. Stolen , li' coHli ! "
"Loid ! 1 hope jou'll piove It on him
whether it's 1,0 or not. I'll help > o all
I can. "
"Well , you may lip able to nwenr to
ouiPtliiiiK when the time cometi. ( > ) >
way or another , l'\e cot to land him in
JHil or kill him. "
UHAPTUU XT.
the iiiK'ht supceoilhiR Iloser Me-
Furl.uip'.s fiolie , there was a heav.\ fall
of HIIOU. That which tirst came down
VHS inuiM mid I'lliiKiiiK , but ai the houu
of duikness went by , the still air Krew
colder and colder , mid lliu nhcoiiH ITVN
tain , do , liKht and ttcecj , piled lii h
upon even the munllest I\\\K \ * inthe fort -
t and hridced over the Kpai'cs between
them , M > that the lioiiulu bent with the
neiKhtof : t iilmiilated foliate of iiniiiitcu-
late wliitpnesb
Likf "a IIPW hi a * 'U and H now earth , "
fre li .iiid pur * from the faoliloufni ; of
their Creator , hushed jet In the nue. of
first conni'loiisneBR of beliiK , xhone the
cloudleVn hk.t and no IpbN Hi > otli' ? > world
beneath , upon which beamed the golden
rajs of th 'inorninc nin. Hut nil the
rcfulKPnt whltp > ; lory thnt ( lee < l 'd the
universe WHS cold and still HK death Itself
.Slowly and with an air of protest , ani
mated Nature awoke to recognition of tin
temporary domination of thp Inanimate
The pppwlth , nestinj ; under thp PHVPH ol
the ham , were u'rut to see. what had hap
pened , and discontentedly twittering tb
each other , agreed it was quite hopeless
to look for a breakfast under all thai
mow , nnd they had be t stay in their
% \arn nhelter until the prospect Improv
ed. A Kollnut game cock , champion of
the buinjard , forehore Jiis giiHtomnry ma
tutinal cluilleuge to the universe , and
flrtimdeiiiig awkwardly through thp depp
r.nnw to HIP refugeof mi ovprlianghiK
, trnw pile , looked about him with dlnguat
itud regret that he had left hi * com fort-
able , roofit.
The hiju was well up before a faint
npiral of sinokp lazllj tloatetl straight
toward the ypiilth from the kitchen chiuv
npy of thp hntine , for tlip moiniuK wan
Sunday , when latp rising IK permlHslhlc
oven on a farm. A couple of dogn , snif
fing the odor of breakfast In the air ,
crawled out from under the porch and
etrotched themselves in time to meet John
Cameron .ind give him their honest ca
nine greeting as ho emerged from the
kitchen door with an ax in bin hand ,
"The deepest snow yet this winter ,
mother , " IIP aiiiniimcpil , In a cheery
\oiee. looking Imek into life house before
cloning tlie dom behind him.
The fpniet wire h.df bin led. the round.
( ompa < tl.\ giown apple ttees in Ihe or-
ehatd lookid like enormous snow hnll > :
Ihe wellswrep swollen to polooniil pro
jiorlloiis lij tin iieciimuliition of now up
on It , lUKReMed a r.inelful reseltlbblliee
to the l.eniiiiig Towci of Pisa
, lolin' Hist ilui\ , was Ihe hie.ikmg of
the in in the Miitei-ing trough lor thp
uittlp In ipilel. lesponse to the sound
of his chopping the choru . of farm life
Inokp foiIh lioi ps neighing in their
stalls , lu > lls tlakling iimong the nhccp in
theii sheliei iindei the him floor and the
< ows in their st.ible , pigs iiieallng | shrill
dpiniiidM foi Immediit- feed , chlckeiiH
Iliillpilng down fnun me IIPII hotisp and
iUiiwklnf ] ( in foolish aliirm at tmdlnj :
lieiiM'l\es Ingulfed in the snow
Tliree hour * Jaler. .lolin. mounted on
lit big black IIOIM- . and ilip"i ed in his
test , rodp down HIP Line on lii > > wn.to
htirch. All the ehmeh-goiiiK In thp Mil-
PJ thnt day hud lo IIP upon hotseb.ick ,
the utibioken snow in the muds bem
much lee dccii to iidmil of Mireih 01 torn-
forlable sleighing Hut that UMK no hard
ship in n eommiinll.i of piim-irliins , and
would make little dlfleieme in the at-
enilancp at the meeting house , to which
veiybodj , pincticall > . made ti habit of
, 'olnt , ' pretty iegnlnrl.\ , \\liplhei 1'resbj-
oilans or not In the vitllej one was
llher a 1'iesb.Meriaii , in s.unpnth > nt
p.iHt , or nothing , IIH no other sects hud
\pl gained a foothidd theie , mid it was
lot faHhionnlile lo lum > oneself looked
upon as "nothing" from a religious
point of new.
< tr . . .
The black hoise found himself much
xuipilscd and mmojed bthe constraint
liln rider | iut upon his pace. lie was not
aeeurttoimd to being requited or even per
mitted to go at a walk with .lolin on his
iiaek , jet lieie thej weie a good two miles
from cliuieh mid a tight lem still kept on
him. lloihps think mid know more , how-
CUT , than people me pi one to uhe them
credit for , and it is not impossible that
he may lime fullj understood the situa
tion when he discovered that he lind been
made to nrrl\p at a certain , cross road
jiiHt as a' > erj dimming ba.iiime . rar
rjing a j'oung wommi , whose nttiactioiiH
were doubtless more iipp.nent to his IIIIIH-
ter Hum to himsell emerged from that
cross road.
" ( Jood moraing , .Miss Mulveil ! " said
.lolin , Hppakiiig with deferential dillidonce ,
for the \oung man uiiHt he much more
hardened in the wnj of gallantry than
he WIIH , who e.in , without some bashfulness -
ness , ntteiupt love milking In the open
air , in luoad dajlight , on the highwa } .
"fo ! ) il morning , Mr Cameron , " slip re
sponded demurcl.v.
to meeting , I suppose ?
"Kamily has to lie represented , and
none of the olheiw will ventuip out. "
"Why ? I'm sine it'tt a lou-lj daj for
aiubody to be abroad , who IK not Nick
folU. "
"Well , mother thinks she mnj have
rhenmiitism , fiom the eh.mgeof weather ;
the HIIOW hurts Mi > s nidei's ejc's ; and , ax
for Danny , IIP just wouldn't comp. "
"If Dunn ) ptefpis one place more than
mollipi , It is most 'pnilinhl.N because of
some better ptospeci foi deviltry that his
gyilus for ndehief has disco\eied. "
"You mustn't be too hard on Danny , "
uughed llettv. ' 011 don't know how
good a hoj IIP wns List Sninlnj ulylit. "
"He a good hoj ! How .oV"
She told him the storj of Uiifus * ilis-
'omllture. minuting it so giaphicnllj
thnt it seemed to .loliu he could see his
ihnl sprawling on the Mom
"Dminj is u good bo.x , " be alllimed em
phatically , "and in bodj shall e\ei again
u..if me sa.i otheiwlsi * . I mean to bu\
a gun for him tlie mt time I go to
town. "
"Yon Innc mncle an allof , him al
ready. I nexer knew htm to take up so
for niijhoilj else at * he does foi joii. Pm
afraid such a magnllueiii picsc-nt as a
gun would Hpoil him altogether. "
"Nothing 1 too good for a bo.x who IHIR
his genius for tunning olT trespassers. "
"Trespassers1"
"Yeb. AujboUy els - than me , who
comei to see > ou , h a ticspiiM-er"
She looked up at him with .in arch
smile , blushed nnd dioppcil her CJ-CH ,
wltlicmt ic'plx in wouln , but voids w'ere
not neressarj for him to umh > rstand her.
' "Don't joii think it natural for a man
to feel that uaj about Uie ghl he lovp V"
"What do I know about how a man
feels when he Is In love ? "
"Well , you'll learn bpforp Ions from
m.x telling jon. "
"Oh ! Then yon are In love ? "
"You Know 1 am and with you , Het
ty. "
"Why. how should I know that ? You
never mentioned it to me bcfoie. "
"Do jou mean to saj that > ou have not
known It ever since tlie ilnj wp met up
ou the 'HaekboneV "
"Well , perhaps 1 might have Himpi-
cloned something , if 1 hud knoxvn an
much an most girls do about such things "
"It hufcn't been so vpty long since I
found It out m.x .self. And that seems n
mlght > queer thing , too , that I should
have seen jou grow up right under m >
nose , all theie jearw , and ne\cr have tak
en nuj notice that jou were the loveli
est and most lovableghl in the world
and the onlj one 1 could ever care for.
until I found It out b.x shooting you. I
tell jou itvns a mightj big surprise-
when it eiinic to me solid , llettj. And It
hux made the whole xvorld dlflerent to
me. 1'nexer Knew before how happy a
pernon could feel. Whj , I'm secinf all
there is in the xvorld worth cuilnc for , to
me , when 1 look Into jour ejes , darling. "
The girl's eyes spaikled xxlth happiness ,
hut her cheeks xyere red IIH Hume , and wlu >
glanced anxiouslj up mid doxvn the road
" 1 didn't see jon at spelling school
Thursday night , " she said hastily , as If
Interportlng n new topic to block John's
too rapid public progress.
"No. I had to go over to NobleBtox\n ,
about a span of her p nnd didn't get
buck In time. "
"You dldii'l object to coin * iiwny and
leaving llufiis ( 'oldic with im-V"
"No. When jou told HIP to do so , I saw
I xvas pprfpetlj safp. "
"You tnlk us if xoii x\prp surp of nip
ilready "
"Of coitise I am. lloxv rould I IIP oth-
prwlsp ? I loxp jou , and jou know It.
And jou love me , and 1 know It. "
"I/aws ! John Campion , jou don't
know any such thing. "
"Kxery kins you pup me last Sundaj
night XVIIH an alliduvil to it. I've got too
good an opinion of jou , iiettj.lto think
join kisses could go where jour heart
didn't. Ye * , it'M jurtt solid loie between
us , mid tthj should we waste time pre
tending n n.x thing else , making believe
what we know in our lipuits Isn't true
mid what wp wouldn't , i-lthcr of u , hiixe
the'other think o for all the world ? "
"John , ain't \on .1 little afrnld , SOIIIP
limps , Hint jou arp a vciy midden JOIIIIR
munV"
"Mnjlie 1 am , but life Is short. I'd
rather be sudden about getting xvhat I
xx-aiit than KOITJ for losing It'through
slownpss. Which do jou jouroelf think
Is best , llpltj ' ! "
"Wi-ll It , Isn't good to be too ' slow ,
John. "
"Spoken like a sensible ghl , mj darl
mg. And noxx' , when shall WP gp ) mar-
tied ? "
" ( III ! It's lee soon to talk about flint. "
"Not a bit We mean to get mairled ,
don't we ? "
"I I don't know. * Oh , John , xvhat do
jou want lo talk that wnj for on the
toad lo meeting , and in luo.id daylight !
You omrlil to be nslmtned. "
"I'd be ashamed of mx-elf if I didn't
take anj oppoitunitj thai offered. "
"lloxv much practice jou must ha\p
had talking to girfs , lo litso bold about
It. "
"IMactice ? .No. I'll take mj oath
that I never be due , in all m.x lite , said
lo anv girl m wom.iu , except mj mothui ,
the words ; ' 1 loxc. jou. ' Ami when I su.x
tliem to jou , Ileltj , thej .ue us true mid
come a straight fiom mj heart as thej
ever did xx hen I spoke them to her. 1'
himplj don't sec- \\\\y \ \ n man should lie
shamefaced , or bent about the hush , in
liaring his heait to the girl he lines well
enough to make his xxifp ; and that brings
mih.icl , to tlie question I asked jou b.o-
lore we mouu to get mmried , don't we ? "
"John , jotl're lidlng up closer and
closer alongside of UIP , imtil jou m.e
spioiiKing mj nirne off the road , and I
just know , If I'd say 'Yes , ' jou'd grab
me round the xx.iist and ki 4 me , and people
ple would be sure to see us , and I'm not
going to get tax self talked about. If jou
xviint mj answer , jou can come o\er to
night and get It. "
"Why , jou darling , that's good enough
answer for the present ! Oh , how I do
loved you , llettj ! Come hack into the
toad ; jou needn't be afraid of m.x cutting
up right out heie before folks. I won't
saj but what 1 want to. The man
xxouldn't be a human xvlio could love a
girl as I line jou , and see her bright eyes
and pouting lips so close to him , xvithont
xxanting to There ! Hold on ! Don't
shut off that xvaj ! 1 won't do anjthing.
Thumlvi. We're almost there , and at
that gnil WP wouldn't hove , live minutes
mote to talk.- '
"I'ome along. AVe can do our talking
to-night , without M-lting other folks talk
ing to-d.ix. There's a whole lot of people
coming doxvn the ridge road , and on the
rise ol the lull behind us are txvo men ,
and I do lieliexe one of them is Uufus
Uoldle. "
Ilettj's keen sight had coirectly identi
fied the distant hoiM-mau as Hufiis ( , ol
die , and if she lmc | taken a see on ? look ,
she \\cinld hiixe known ccitnll.x | well his
companion , who was none othei than
Simeon Mulveil. Itulus lived at the con
stable's house most of the time , instead
of staying wheie he pioperly belonged ,
among his neaier ielati\es , over in Faj-
ette Countj , near I'liiontown. The two
men not onlj hanuoin/ed well in char
acter , but hud business u-hitions which
brought them into close association Mul
veil , xx'lio was a xxidoxxei , owned a good
farm mid a snwmill the latter an inher
itance from his xvife , to whom it had
been left bj a foimer husband Uufus
i an the mill , on slimes , and also did some
xxork on tlie faun xxhen the head or water
xx as too slack for saxxing , or lumber not
in demand. Hence , he and Simeon ,
tin own much together In their houis of
labor , lull got into the habit ot ea < h nth-
el V societj , generullj went nhioml in
compmij mid were us nearlx fi tends us
it was possible for such natures to feel
friendship There was sec-irtly between
them nt this time , hoxxexer , a good deal
of jealousj , for each knew that the- oth
er \xas a ihnl suitor for Hetty Mulveil's
hand. That teelmg would prolmhlj have
separated them , had thpy not been link
ed b.x the bond of common hate for John
CauiPron. whom thej In-line Hxt-lj nco ; -
ui'/pd as the one destined to eurrj awaj
HIP pr'mfrom both of them.
Follow tug and spying on this ride to
church , thej saw , and gnashed their teeth
at seeing , how eloselj the black horse
and the bay mare moxed along to ethei
anil how slowl.x thej went.
"I'd like to put a bullet through him , "
growled Itufus ttoldie
"So would I , but I wou'dii't like to
be hangid for it , " Mimlid the coin-table. .
"You're always afraid of the law. "
"The law's something to be- aft aid of. "
"No ; not the law , but gettlu caught. "
"The law has a tarnation Ions reach. "
"It don't co UK far as a gun , though
bptwcpn man nnd num. "
"It'll go far enough In John Cmneron's
case to suit me. "
"Do yon feel like speaking any plalm-r
to-day than you did yestcrdaj about
that 7"
"I don't mind telling you. but jon must
keep It mighty close , for if he got word
of It before I am reac.x ! to jump on him ,
he might not be there when 1 landed. "
"I'm not likely to do anj thing that
would he much Kood to him "
"Well. It's just this. J saw In the pa
per , nlKiut two months back. Hint there
xvfts a robbery of silver spoons from a
house oxer b.x Canoiisburg somewhere.
I read all such things beciuiMIt's mj
olllelal duty , but my memorj Isn't good
and r can't recollect mimes well That's
nothing , though. I can go o\er to Wash
ington to-morroxv or nest daj and see the
paper And I'm just IIH surP as that I'm
alive the spoons we saw .xestordny me
the stolen ones. I feel It in mj bones so
I could sxvear to It. "
"Hut how are jou going to prove ho
stole them ? "
"I don't hove to. Jf I find them In his
possession , It'll he for him to prove he
didn't steal them. Hvcn If he geU off
Itctxvill inivp hren put In jail anyway ,
and lliniS enough , llc'tx ' MitlvcH Isn't
likely to muri'x mij jail blid. "
Unfits winced , thnuph he nld nothing.
Kof ipason l " t Known to liitnsplf ref-
piptiepi to jail bhds'giiiied on all there
xvus of Hciislthcncss in his belnit ,
"Yes , " pursued the constable , "if 1 find
It's all right when I sec tlie papet. a * I'm
sure I * Khali I've got them Initials mark
ed down. 'H W. ir or 'U. H. W. . ' and
one or the other Is bound to be tight
I'll gel the warrant for him at once , Hut
I won't spixe It until Tbinsdny , Training
Daj. ' when half the county xvlll see him
taken as a thief "
Unfits started with the Impulse of a
sudden thought , looked flvedly In his com
panion's pjcs for a moment , and suld In
a inx\- tone of Miia'estion rathei than of
Inquiry :
"And If he resists nripst ? " s
The constable clenched his jaws with a
snap1
"Then something bad may happen to
him In a pprfpctlx legal wn > "
Tlie two scoundrels grinned at each
othei in sympathy , shook hands and lode
on at a Hxcller pace after the rouple. who
had b.x this lime disiippeiued under the
groxi sunoundiug the house of prayer.
( To be continued. ) ,
( 'hejippr than tlie Grave.
Tin' advance1 of pionmtioti in Knp-
land , shown liy tin * eHlalilisliincnt of a
muiilcllial fiirnaw In HIP north ami
HIP projection of a now e.ivinnlorlum
not far ouHlde the four miler.idlttH in
London , recalls the Interesting hNtory
of Japan In the mutter. Oicnmtlon
followed Hnddlilsm Into Japan about
1 , 00 years nj ; " . l iit It only partially
hiipprspih'd the Shinto piistom of dls
posing of the dead by intermont. In
1ST ! ! L-rpination was totally prohibited
bj the Japam-se noveuimpnt , whose
mcinliprs S.PPIII to liau- bad some confused -
fused notion as to tin- practice being
nii-Kinopuan and therefore linrharou" .
IlnvhiK ( llM-oxcu'd that , far from be-
Inn uti-Kiiropi-an , crpinatlon was HIP
the Koal of Knroppnii lelorniPis liiHtiPli
niattprs. Hipy ipscluded their prohibi
tion lii'lotp two jcats bad elapsed
Ctpinatlon In .fapan N cairled out in a
somewhat rough and jetuly innnner.
Tinclieapi'st pro'c'eSs onlj costs aiioilt
SI.12. This Is scmvelj adapted to
w'C'stuni u'ljnlic'inoiits and Is siitllcient-
ly ( fpsurllied by the title which the for
eign residents ot a cprtaln settlement
In Japan jja\e to the native cieniatlon
Kiound among the bills"Uoast Meat
\ alley. "
the Mouds lias recent
ly become n recognized branch of prac
tical meteorology. It also affotds
beautiful pictures for the collections
ol amateur photographers TlieFicnch
astronomer. M. Antoniadi of the Juvlsi
obwerxatory , who has had much ex
perience In cloud photography , says
that all kinds of cameras , largo and
Kiniill , mounted and unmounted , canbu
piriplojed for this purpose , lull consider
able praelipp Is icqtilicMl to detcrinlno
the pioper Unit1 of e\posuic. In order
to quench the blue of the sk.r and
In Ing out the contrast between the
clouds ami their background yellow
screetiH , preferably composed of thin
cells containing a chemical solution ,
are eiuplnjed Hxposures vary tiom
a small ft action up to one-third of n
second
Proteotl-xe Coloring and Komi.
The sea Is full of wonders of protec
tive coloring and form , and there Is
one ical chameleon in It namely , ( bo
chameleon shrimp. This , like HH land
counterpart , changes eoloi from min
ute to minute- now green out In the
sunlight , noxx- yellow on the sand , ! ind
agnln daik lirown undep the shadows
of some piojectlng rock. There is an
other ciimint little IlHh which haunts
the weeds tracts of tlie Cult' Stream ,
and there liulldK Its m-st and lays Its
eggs like a bird rather than a llsb.
This uninml the aiitenn.irlus is not
verje.isj to see owing to Its similarity
lo It's suruumdiiipi It imitates In
color the weed It Ihes in , and like the
cha nil-Icon , constantly changes its
color. f
In tlie Wild * .
The piencher had a good deal of nat
ural ability but very little education ,
and ids umgrcKatlnn < ( insisted mainly
of wood splittets , trull gioxvets } and
Hinall farmers. In Illustrating bis sub
ject be said.
"My friends , you've been out on a
dark night xvhen jou could hardly sen
your hand befoie you , and you've said
how pitchy daik It Is ; well.pltchydark-
ness be daik , and my friends , you know
vvlml a gross is ; If not , I'll tell you.
A gross is twelve doxen ; now you xvlll
iindersluud the darkness that covered
tills people , for It wax one hundred and
forty-four times pltchj dark , and
thnt be dark. "
An Artint
When weni led with State affairs , the
King of Portugal IIIIH merely to take
up bis brush and palette and alltroublo
IH forgotten Since bis accession to
the throne , some eleven years ago , ho
has accomplished a great deal In the
artistic line , and the honors which
have come to him have pi o veil that ho
Is no mere dilettante In ait. and that
he could have made bis mark as n
painter.
Not a Ijlou Tamer.
Cecil Uliodes keeps two lions In his
grounds in South Africa. He omo
tried his own powers as a lion-tamer
*
for weeks , but without success. "I
could have controlled a man In a
much shorter .time , and cot him to do
what 1 please , " said thegreat politician.
"Lions are nobler creatures tlmn men ,
that's evident. "
A girl cannot bo mild to really enjoj
anything unless she laughs HO hard
that bhe swallovvH her gum.
It takes two to make a quarrel but
when ono U willing It's easy enough to
11 ml another.
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.
IMrnmtnt InuiilentH Occurrlrm the
\ \ or III Ox ur-bio in H thut Are ( .hccr-
fnl to Old or Vomit : I'nmiy s-clte-
tlonw Hint l.vcrjliodyV1I1 Knjoy.
"Don't yon feel a tlirll of exultation
ever.v time you see those symbolic let-
tern I . S. ? " asked the patriotic eltlxen ,
xv ho had just returned from Km ope.
"Yes , " answered Senator Koi'ghum.
"And I like 'em lies ! In the shape of a
monogram. Thej look almost exactly
like a dollar mark.Washington Star.
Pie that melts in rour mouth Is as-
tonlsblngly obdurate after it gets into
your stomach. Detroit Journal.
\\ih i > Keekl'-- J'cr lnn ' Imor ,
"My guess concerning 'An Kngllsh-
xxonum's Love Letters' ought to attract
great attention. "
"What Is it ? "
"I believe Omar Khayyam xvrote
them. " Chicago Hecord-Ilcrald.
" ( Juess It's a sure go 'bout 'em goln1
ter auction oil this 'ere busied rail
' "
road' - . , , . ,
"Why so ? "
"Well , by gum , I seed red flags along
the track In three or four places. "
Cn.vuse Wnclp Hood.
I'epperliole Pete Cayus-p Charley Is
gone at last ; be tried ter throw the
throuch express off In' track an" wtiz
cut In two.
Lariat Luke Waal , Cayiisp made
good ; be alltis sed he'd never die witli
his boots on. Ohio State Journal.
C'IMIHC lor Coii < rriitiilntnn. !
Drummer Any mail for me John LI.
*
KlaalmckV
IN'ttyvllle Postmaster Nope !
Drummer fiood ! The linn hasn't
iltecl me yet ! Puck.
'I \\f \ Only Wny .
(
"Itcires ean't bore me. "
"Why nof"
"I always manage to get the lead
nwaj and bore them. " Puck.
A Doll nil ion.
Musician t'ink he's a true inoosi-
clan- line artist.
Friend What do you mean by that' . '
Musician Veil , a tine artist Is one
vet would love art for Its own sake
If he could afford It. Puck.
\V\t-r \ Ho Hc-okc ! .n Mo.
Mrs. Von Hlumer 1 thought you said
that Mrs. Polerby had such thorough
contioi over her husband that she
made him go to church every Sunday
lie wasn't there last Sunday.
Von Hlumer No. He found It was
affecting bis golf. Life.
OIF and On.
"lie gets on a spree occasionally
doesn't lie ? "
"Oh , yes , off and on. "
"More often on than olT , I suppose. '
Philadelphia Press.
Wise Ilors- .
"I want .vou to taku me to St. John'
Wood , Cabbie. "
"All riK'ht , sir. but would you mlm
get tins ; In the other side so ns the oh
' 01 se don't see yer ? " Phil May's An
nual.
A Miccewfi.
"And they tell me a colony hath been
planted In Delawate. Hast heard how
It is prospering ? "
"Marvelously ! The ( Irst peach crop
hath been n glorious fnllurel" Snn
Francisco Hulletin.
A Ftilliintliroiilnt.
She ( haughtily ) I happen to know
thai jou have already proposed to two
oilier girls this year.
He Yes , dear , hut I assure you It
was only out of compassion. Detroit
Flee Press.
She 1 see In New York every theater
program is icqiilred by law to hear n
plan of the' house on which the exits
are plalnlj marked.
HeOh , Is that what those things are
Intended for ? 1 always thought those
diagrams were , clress yttterus.
Their Wt-nk Point.
"So you don't think the automobile
will succeed the hor&o for furm.woik ? "
ticked the visitor.
"Nope , " answered Uncle Sllns , "iinun-
dally they would bo a fullure. When.
they'd get old an' wore1 out how coulii
jon turn 'em loose In u Held by the rail
road so's they'd gut kill ? An' oven If
you could , I doubt If the company 'ud
be held icsponslble. " ludlanapolla
'loo I.ntr.
After hearing evidence In an assault
case between limn and wife , In which
the wife had had a deal of pi o vocation ,
the magistrate , turning to the husband ,
eimuKcd'
My sjotCd man. I really cannot doi
nythlng In this case. " .
'Hut she has cut a piece of my eat1
ff. sir. "
"Well. " said the magistrate. "I will
ilnd her over to keep the peace. " (
"You can't. " shouted the huflbandj
she's thrown it away. " London Tit-
Mts.
Tlic Situation
'Yes ; Huberts is going home becausd
he war is over. "
And Kitchener ? "
"Oh , he's going to stay because U
sn't. "
Henll/ed Ilia Ovsn Miidncun.
"Now you are tired of me and abuse
ue , " sobbed the young wife whose husJ
mud refused to hire n not her maid to
nkc * cute of her put dog. "Yet , " sha
ontlnued , "not two jeais ago you word
ust cra/.y to marry me. "
'Yes , " answered the complacent mnn-
irutc , "my triends told me so at the )
line , but I didn't tcnlize It until after
ve were married. " Kansas Olty Star.
Arithmetical
"Jimmy. Sammy says you had mora
caramels than tlie rest of the children. "
Well , ma , I seen they xvouldn't go
'round again , an' so I Jes' had to eat
'em. " Dettoil Free Press.
Ke'lviicw Tier.
"If you want to marry her , don't ba
o abjectly devoted. Yon simply cheap
en yourself in her ej-es. " (
"Then she'll take me. Mary never
could resll a bargain. " The King.
\rt Cookery ,
"What lovely brown biscuits she
makes : "
"Yes ; in coloratura cooking she Is
quite unexcelled. Puck.
1 cmitiine Mnceritv.
Ted -lie stutters so badly it took him
over half an hour to propo e'to her.
Ned What did she say to him ?
Ted-Oh , this Is so sudden. Judge * .
T
Fly Poor little things ! Nothing
seems to grow up in this desert.
A ' hort Cot li > I c inly ,
Agnes In ansNver to tlie question !
"How can I become beautiful in thirty
da.vsV" we would recommend that you
get popper to sneak in on the right slds
of the pork nmiket.
.Most Curious Tliine.
Mrs ! Qulzzer ( who wants to knoAV
evcrj thing ) Now , what do you con
sider to be the. most curious thing you
ever saw , professor ?
Prof. Trotter A woman , madiune.
Harlem Life.
Heynnil n
"It Is tl great diawback to he getting
deaf. "
"Yes. It Is ; people quit telling you > e-
ciots. " Chicago Uccoid-Heiald.
Wuntcil Specific itICIHB.
The farmer ( wearing long boots )
lley , sonny , d'yevv want tew shine 'em
lor a dime ?
The Hoothlack ( looking them over )
How far up ? Hrookljn Life.
A Tiii in Aclv.incc.
First Waiter You MM ; , the man gave
Pete a tip
Second Walter What ! Hefore ha
got anj thing to eat ?
Kit.st. Walter Yes-a tip that he
wouldn't get any if lie didn't hurry.
Puck.
An Adjunct to 1'e.irx.
"Perhaps you can dliect me , " she
said with pompous condescension to tha
floorwalker. "I've ( i crying need
r-vv *
"Yes'iu. " Intelrupted the lloor-wnlker ,
in his quick , nervous way , "han'k'chlef
depaitincnt , IIP counter , ne.V aisle. "
IHie S-enso ol C ucrnliip ,
"There goes my train ! " snld the commuter -
muter with e\'aspeiaton. |
"If it's jour train , " said a. sarcastic
bystander , "why didn't jou have it wait
for you ? " Sommervllle Journal.
Cnn Alwnys l-in' ' Words.
He This nnthor should be ashamed
of himself. A mnrricd man , too !
He-MIe sajs that a man's wife
"gazed at him In speechless astonish
ment. " Why.ssuch a thing Ih unknown
In matrimony ! Fuck.
The Host of It.
"I don't see why you nicn't Industri
ous and economical like the man next
door , " bald the wife. "You will scarce
ly have time to get to your olllce In sea
son The man next door has his lunch
In a basket nnd starta out nt 0 o'clock
In the morning. "
"Yes ; and goes tlshlng. " Washing
ton Star.
