't X I H i y I THE RABBITS. Among the children ot the French crcoleB of Louisiana there Is a very pretty belief that their Easter eggs aro brought to them by rabbits. Theso dainty little creatures know nil tho children and are perfectly aware which of the younsters deserve tastefully-decorated eggs, and which of them should have eggs which arc merely colored or, perhaps, entirely plain. This belief that the rabbits bring tho Caster eggs Is as strongly rooted In the minds of the Creole children as aro any of our good old notions concerning Santa Claus and Christmas stockings, and that there Is good ground for the simple faith of the little ones will be proved by the following story: There were two rabbits, great friends, who lived in a grove of live oaks not far from a town. One of these was a young rabbit, named Laplnlta, and she was Very much excited one mottling because the next day would be Easter, and her companion, Lnplngro, had told her that In the eurly morning she should carry an Easter egg to some good child. It was yet many hours before Easter morning, and the two rabbits had not provided themselves with an Easter egg, nor had they decided to what child they Bhould give It. Laplnlta knew where there was a hen's nest. She had examined the eggs, and she was quite sure the old hen would give her one, but they were not very large and they were not very white, and she and Laplngro wanted very fine eggs Indeed. The two rabbits were still wander ing through the woods, talking earnest ly about the business on hand, when they saw a beautiful figure approach ing them. At first they thought It was a woman, but they soon knew It was not, for if It had been a woman even the most quiet and most timid of all jrentle Indies Uey would have been frightened. But this charming figure, which seemed scarcely to touch the ground as she tripped gayly under the under the trees and sat down, but did not frighten them at all. They sat up on their little haunches with their little forefeet pressed against their lit tle noses and with the tops of their little noses trembling and wrinkling In expectation. The figure bounded toward them and vat down on the ground. "Oh, dear lit tle rabbits!" she said. "How glad I am to see youl You are the first friends I have met since I came Into these woods. I know you aro friends because your noses wrinkle so affectionately. Do you know who I am?" "N, we do not," Bald Laplngro, "but we Bhould be glad for you to tell us Who you are." "Very well, then," said she with a charming smile. "I am a Dryad; one of those beings who live In oak trees." "In these oaks?" asked Laplnita, won- derlngly. "No, not In these oaks," said the Dryad. "I have never seen any oaks like these. I am a Btranger In this country and these trees are not at all like the oaks of my own land.France. The branches of my oaks are ever so much higher from the ground; they aro larger, and they have no long beards banging from their limbs." "That Is moss," Bald Laplngro. "It Is the goats that have beards, not the trees." "I am glad to have you tell me that" said the Dryad, "because I know so little about this country. This is the way I hapened to come here: I lived In a tall oak, which was cut down by some people who were sending tho trunkB of trees to foreign lands. Gen erally, when a tree with a Dryad In It Is cut down 8&o geis oui unu kucb i some other tree, but I have always wished so much to see foreign lands that 1 thought it would be line fun to tay In my trunk and go wherever the people took it. And that Is the way I hapen to be here. Everything Is bo beautiful and I am glad to meet you two dear little rabbits 1 Where are you going? May I go with you7 I am look ing for an oak tree to live In, but 1 don't want to llnd one yet." Then Laplngro told the Dryad that they wanted to get an Easter egg to give to some good child early the next taornlng, but they had not found an egg yet which was good enough for them, and they did not yet know what child they would give It to. "And I am to give It to the chlldl cried Laplnlta, the top of her nose trem bling with delightful anticipation. "I have never yet given an egg to any child. It will make me happy." Tho Dryad was very much Interested and when the rabbits told her that they were trying to And a very large and White hen's egg, she said she did not think much of such eggs for Easter. "Oh, If you could see the Easter eggs that I have seen I" she exclaimed. "I remember one that was brought to a rich little girl who lived near the edge of my forest. It was as big well, it was as big as thatl" and the Dryad held her hands about a foot apart. "Oh, what birds they must have In France," exclaimed Laplnlta, "But it was not a real egg," said the Jryad. "It was a make-believe egg and It opened In the middle. It had two hinges and shut with a click. Inside of it oh l If you could have seen what was inside of It! There was a beautiful doll and all sorts of clothes for her to wear even shoes, stockings and gloves, with little sealskin sacque!" The two rauuits sai siruiKin up uu their haunches, their cottontails wig gling in the grass and their noses bo excited that they could scarcely speak. "What a happy little girl that must have been!" gasped Laplnlta. "Of course we cannot get an egg like that," said the Dryad, "but we must find a nice, big one and put something in It. Have you any goose eggs In this "Oh, yes," eald Laplngro, "and I know a goose who will give me one." "Bun and get It, please," said the Dryad, "and bring It here. Then we hall see what can be done." "But don't get one too big for me to carry," said Laplnlta, anxiously. When Laplngro came back under the live oaks he brought a large and beauti ful goose egg. "That will do very well, Indeed," said the Dryad. "Now we must cut It In half o that we can take everything out of it and make the shell open and ahut We must have some gum to fasten on the hinges, ana i win k" bci. muu It oozes out of some trees so high up that you can't reach it. While I am gone you can cut the egg apart. Cut it the long way, please, exactly In the middle, and try to keep the edges "The Dryad gilded away among the treea and the two rabbits Bat and wlg- Irled their noses in earnest cogitation. I know how we can do It," presently aid Laplngro. "I will gnaw off a leaf f the saw palmetto and we can do It with that" , ,.t-i- Away hopped Laplngro, while Lapln lta remained to watch the precious egg. In ten minutes the goose egg was laid In a little mossy hollow, where It could rest steadily, and the two rabbits, each with an end of the saw-edged palmetto leaf In Kb mouth, had begun to cut the egg down the middle. One of them sat at one end of the egg and one at the ether, and they pulled the leaf back ward and forward as If It had been a erou-cut saw worked by two people. They had some trouble at first to keep the saw exactly In the middle of the egg, but as soon ns they had mndo one good cut In the right place It was easy enough to go on. Every time that Laplnlta leaned forward her little cot-ton-tnll wiggled to the west and ovety time she pulled backward It wngged to the east, bo that In a short time the Ki'ound behind her was brushed entirely bare. At last the goose egg was cut exactly In two hnlves, and when these fell apart all the Inside ran out. "It Is a great pity to waste a gosling," paid Laplngro, "but It can't be helped. Come now Laplnlta! We must carry these two halves of the egg to the brook and wash them clean. I wonder what the Dryad Is going to tell us to put In them." "Oh! I wonder very much," snld Lap lnlta; "so very, very much," When the Drynd crtme back she found the two halves of the egg nhell washed nice nnil clean and already dry. "How beautifully you have done It!" she exclaimed. "I have brought some nice soft gum for the hinges. Hut what aro we to make them of? It ought to be something like thin leather." Laplngro clapped his rlKht forennw to the side of his nose. "I think I can get something that will do," snld he. "I saw a tadpole this motnlng taking off his skin bo as to get his legs out and be a frog. He does not want the skin any more, nnd 1 will go and see If I can find It" "We must have something to lino the Inside of the egg," snld the Drynd. "Do you know where you can get any thing soft?" "Oh, ycr" cried Laplnlta," I know where there Is a little cotton patch. I Win go nnd get some. " 'A cotton patch?' Bald the Dryad, 'What Is thnt?' "It Is where our talis grow. At least I was told so when I was n little bit of a baby. But I have already begun not to believe It" Very soon the little rabbit came hop ping back to the Drynd with n bunch of white cotton In her mouth, which mndo her look as If she had two tails one In front and one behind. Presently Lnplngro returned with the tadpole Bkln, which the Dryad declared would do admirably for the hinges. With a bit of sharp shell she cut It Into proper shape and gummed It on the ' two halves of the egg Bhell, bo that tney opened and closed nicely. "I do not know how to make It shut with a click," she said; "but when we have Ulled It we can make a cord with some of my hair and tie it up." She then lined the egg with a thin layer of soft cotton, and when this was done she and the two rabbits set themselves to consider what they should put in the Easter egg. This was not easy to decide, and having hidden the egg under the moss they all went wandering through the woods to see what they could llnd. They wandered nearly the rest of tho day, and toward the close of the after noon, as they were nearlng a path which led through the woods, they were startled by voices. Quickly hiding be hind trees they saw two men who were looking for something among the leaves and grass on the ground. "Well, It Isn't here now," said the other, "and as you are such a lazy fellow, Joseph, always lying down to rest when you get a chance, I can't feel sorry when you lose things out of your pockets." "But this is a great loss to me," Bald the other. "With the tickets In that package I expected to ride for a long time. Now I shall have to walk, for I can't afford to buy more." "It will do you good to walk, Joseph," said the other, "and you ought to be glad you lost your tickets. Come on, I can wait no longer." "What Is a ticket?" asked the Dryad, when the men had gone." "I don't know," Bald Laplngro, "but It must be something to ride on. Look at those two blrd3l What are they doing?" On the ground, not far from the path, two young birds, scarcely fledged, were pulling at something which looked like a black worm. Each held an end of It In Its bill, and each tried with all Its mlerht to net it awav from the other. The black thing stretched and stretched and, suddenly, it slipped from the bill of one of the birds and snapped back Into the face of the other one, so that they both were frightened and ran away. "These must be the tickets!" cried Laplngro, picking up a small package. "There are ever bo many of them, and that black thing must have been 'round them to hold them together." "Yes," Bald the Dryad, "and In try ing to pull It off they dropped the pack age out of the path, so that the men could not find It" "And those are the tickets, are they?" said Laplnlta. "But I don't Bee how people ride on them." "Nor do I," said the Dryad, "but they do, for the man said bo. People who are lazy or tired ride on them." "I might take four of them," said Laplnlta, "and put one foot on each, but I don't believe they would ride me." "No, Indeed," said Laplngro. "Wo don't know how they are used." "I'll tell you what will be a good thing to do," said the Dryad. "Let's put them In the Easter egg, and then we can give it ic some chold; not to one who la lazv. but to one who Is tired." "I know a child who Is tired," cried Laplnlta. "It is the okra girl. Every morning she has to walk to the town to carry okra for the people to make gumbo. Sometimes she feeds me, and I have heard her say that she was very tired." "The okra girl shall have the eggl" cried the Dryad. "Now let us run and fill It" When the tickets had been neatly packed Into the goose's egg, which fit ted nicely over them, the Dryad drew some long halrB from her hald and twisted them into a pretty cord. With this she tastefully tied up the egg so that It could not come open. Then ev erything waB ready. Very early the next morning the Dryad and the two rabbits went to the cabin of the okra girl; Laplnlta carrying the egg clasped close to her breast as If It were a precious baby. The girl slept soundly on a pallet on the floor, nnd when Laplnlta had placed the egg where she could see It as soon as Bhe openeu ner eyes, .men mo three companions stationed themselves outside the open door, where they could watch. As soon as the sun was up the okra girl awoke with a start, for she was afraid she was late. Easter Sunday was a great market morning In that town, and she feared that someone elss might supply her customers with okra. When she sat up In bed and saw the egg she clapped her hands. "An Eas ter egg that the rabbits have brought me!" She saw that the egg was intended to be opened, and when she untied the cord of hair, lifted the upper half of the shell and saw what the egg con tained, there was never such a happy girl as In this world. She took the tickets out on her lap and gazed at them with delight. "Oh, now I can ride to town;" she cried. "Every day for so many daysl What a wonderful thing the rabbits have brought to me." "Now, then," whispered tho Dryad, "we must watch her carefully and see how Bhe rides on those tickets." As soon ns the okrn girl was dressed she picked up her basket, which sho had filled the night before, and hurried away toward the town. "I don't call that riding." snld La plnltn. "Let us wnlt nnd see what she docs next," said Lnplngro, nnd the Drynd, and the rabbits quietly followed tho girl. She soon enme to a wide rond, and there she stopped. Hiding behind somo bushes, tho three companions watched her. Very soon nn electric enr camo rumbling nlong the rails. Tho okra girl held up her hand nnd tho car stopped. She quickly seated herself and the Drynd nnd the rnbblts plnllny paw her tnke one of the tickets and give It to the man, nfter which tho enr rolled swiftly away and she was lost to their sight. They looked nt ench other In amazo ment "So thnt Is the way thnt people ride on tickets." Bald the Dryad. "I never should have Imagined such a thing If I hud not seen It." "Yes, thnt Is tho wny It Is done," ex plnlned Laplnlta. "And, oh, how I should like to ride on a ticket" Lnplngro laughed. "Wouldn't you look funny,' said he, "sitting up on a red velvet cushion holding out a tlcicet to a man." "I don't believe any rabbits ever took a better Ennter egg to n deserving child," Bald the Dryad. "But now I must hurry bnck to the forest and find an oak to live In." "Come on! Come on!" cried Lnpln gro, hopping briskly before her, "and we will help you to find one." "Yes," snld Lnplnltn, keeping closo to the Drynd, "nnd It shall be one with a crack In It, bo thnt you can gut out whenever you want to bo with us." Novor Has a Cold. "I haven't had a cold all winter!" This was the assertion with which Mrs. Ella Wheeler Wilcox Introduced her favorite topic the benefits accruing from the use of pure cold water. "I have not used hot wnter for bathing," she continued, "for more Minn a year, and I have never felt better in my life. Of course," she laughed at sight of onmr nnn fl linrrlllpil filro. "I (If. taKo a Turkish bath every lllttlo while, but that Is merely for Banltary purposes; the cold water I regard as medicinal. I take three minutes of Ice cold water from the hose every morning." "Ohl" shivered a wheezy little vic tim of the Influenza, "I never could stand thntl" "Of course you couldn't at least not at first, but If you begin gradually and keep It up faithfully you will be taking your three-minute showers in less than two months, and by that time you will be rid of that bad cold which you sim ply encourage by the use of warm water In bathing." Mrs. Wilcox then went on to explain how one should take this heroic treat ment and nvold Injurious effects. "You need a rubber hose, and If you can af ford one with a spray nozzle so much the better, but tho commonest rubber tube will do. In using the bpray, turn It first on the feet, nnd, as soon as they become accustomed to It, raise tho spray to the knees, and so on until tho entire body Is soused. If there Is a shower In your bath room observe tho same order, putting the feet under the Bpray first, then the knees, etc. "When 1 began this treatment I was troubled because I did not at first get a reaction, and my friends insisted that I was killing myself; but before long tho reaction came and I have been grow ing stronger ever since. "I'm not the only one, either, who has flourished under the cold water hose. I know a lady 73 years old who Is able to go to receptions and eat late suppers, and she never could do It In the world but for the strength which she got from the use of cold water. "Do you believe In using cold water on the face?" asked a girl who was more Interested In specialties for tho complexion than In promoters of gen eral health. "No, not exactly," was the reply. "I'll tell you what I have found to be the best treatment for the face and neck It Is very simple and absolutely harm less. In the morning, before you go out, tako about a third of a cup of milk and fill it with boiling water. Then with a soft flannel rag dipped In the milk and water sponge the face for about five minutes, after which rub on some sort of pure cream and let It stay until you are dressed. Then rub off as much as will come off and your Bkln will be as smooth as a baby's." Mrs. Wilcox, as may be Judged from these remarks, is a woman of ideas on practical, every day matters, In addi tion to having opinions upon Buch deep subjects as the destiny of the bouI, the object of living, the education and training of sins ana Kinureu topics with which she occupies her mind and her pen. m . Frills of Fashion. Silk shirt walsta are completed with a stock and long tie of the same silk. Neckties of white chiffon trimmed across the ends with gathered narrow white satin ribbon are the latest fad. Chlffonne etraw hats are already worn with new spring costumes. Spangles are certainly the rage now adays. There are spangled net gowns, bodices, waists, hats, bonnets, fans, and now comes a spangled parasol. Bordered fabrics, by the yard or Im ported In robe patterns, are greatly in evidence among both spring and sum mer dress materials. The newest hats have their crowns entirely made of flowers and leaves, and these are all shaped with straight brims, to be worn well forward over the ears, turned up at the back, trim med with rosettes or a large bow of velvet The uses of black velvet ribbon trim ming are still manifold, from the mere line of black bebe ribbon to the very widest that Is manufactured. Loops, rosettes and Insertions are made of this ribbon, and graduated rows are liHPd on both skirt and bodice, some- times, alone, or in conjunction with pinked Bilk ruches, narrow frills, or wider flounces. Tne big dotted veil Is a thing of the I past It is not even carried In stock In the rcauy sweu piuces. xnu cumpicAiuu veil has ousted It This is very prop erly nnmed, but It might be even bet ter cnlled the complexion beautlfler. It Is astonishing how a piece of plain black net of crisscross or diamond de sign can enhance a plain woman's looks. A novelty In dress tlmmlngs Is a fine fawn-colored batlBte embroidered all over In a minute design of chenille. This Is used for cuffs, collars and re vers on silk waists. Oriental embrol deied Insertions set in between groups of tucks form nn other mode of trim ming. Waists of plain silk In medium and light colors nre striped up and down and diagonally across the sleeves with velvet ribbon of a darker shade. While trying to hang up a washtub at the head of a flight of stairs, a Montreal woman was knocked down stairs by the tub, which slipped from the rail, and her neck was broken. AMERICAN BUNTING. Tim ItrquUltlnna by the Government for It tor Nuvj Viag. Imperative requisitions by tho Gov ernment authorities for tho production of bunting for nnvy flags nro what In Bttro tho superiority so well known to characterize tho Amerlcnn nrtlcle. Tho regulations prcscrlbo thnt tho fabric be made entirely of wool ot tho host quality, nnd show no Imperfections, tho weight to be flvo nnd one-fourth pounds nvorltlupols por pleco of forty yards of 10-lnch width, tho ynrn to ho ovonly spun, tho wnrp nnd filling to contain no less than thirty-four threads to tho Inch, and tho warp two ply with ono-ply filling, properly twisted; further, a tensile strength Is required of slxty-flvo pounds for tho warp and forty-five pounds for tho fill ing, In test pieces two Inches wide. Tho colors must bo as "fnBt" as It Is pos sible to mnko them, nnd not liable to bo seriously nrfected by being Bonked con tinuously for twenty-four hours In frosh water and then thoroughly wash ed In wnter with which Is combined a good grade of laundry soap. Every stripe nnd device on the lings mado of this superb nmterlnl nro measured with tho most perfect geometrical accuracy, nnd tho stnrs nre put on so carefully nnd evenly thnt when tho ling Is hold up to the light the stars, which aro tnnde of muslin and put on both sides, appear to bo a part of tho fabric. Tho stnrs nre cut with chisels out of blench ed muslin laid thirty thlckncsscsa to gether on a large open block. Boston Transcript. THE FRENCH PEASANT. After llurvmt All tlm Fields Uerom Common Friiperly. Tho French peasant has nn Inde pendent means of existence. He owns the soil ho tills. If ho employs laboi ers they, nt least, will own a liotiso and garden, and hope to own a plot. The English villager Is cither a Bmnll tradesman or a laborer. A garden which he cultivates hut does not own Is, as a rule, the extent of his posses sions. There aro two classes In an English vlllngc, and theso may be sub divided Into various religious sects. There Is only one class In oir French commune a fact which lies a material bearing upon tho social economy ot the community. Every Inhabitant of tho commune Is a proprietor of some thing, and all are bent on saving, yet, with all their Individualism, they com bine for common and mutual Interest This Is lllustrnted by the organization of tho syndicate for buying at whole sale prices. They unite for the cul tivation of the soil, lending each other horses and making up teams. Every commune has a field, which Is common property, and where, on payment of n trining fee, animals graze. After tho harvest all the fields become common property, and the gros betall and tho other betall are allowed to roam at large. Contemporary Review. BIGGEST WINE TANK IN THE WORLD. Haifa Million Gnlton of Winn Tumped Into It by Stouiii In Culltornln. Half a million gallons of wine, all In one still, deep, red lake, are the feat ure of this year's wine Industry In California. The lake is the biggest vat In all the history of wine making. Tho famous great tun at Heidelberg held only 50,000 gallons. London boasted tanks twice as large as Heidelberg, and in San Francisco la one which holds 150,000 gallons. Before this huge un derground cavern at Aatl, In Sonoma, where 500,000 gallons of grnpe Juico are to tako on sweetness and flavor, all former feats In storing vast quantities of wine are Insignificant. For one solid week two steam pumps forced Into this reservoir four-Inch streams of grape juice before It waa filled and corked. For this huge storage tank is in reality a sort of Drobdignagian bottle, burled well un derground to preserve It from changes of temperature and tho heat of the sun's rays. Its construction was a mat ter of sudden necessity. It unexpect edly became known that there was more grape Juice in Sonoma vineyards than there was room in which to put it. The idea of a big concrete cistern was broached and quickly adopted, and in forty-five days from the tlmo the first shovelful of earth was thrown out tho steam pumps began their task of filling it New York Sun. A Cliunge. "What's the matter wid Brlggers?" usked the gentleman with the red shirt. "I thought he was always so radical In his beliefs and wanted the money of tho country divided up evenly. Now he doesn't say a word." "Because," re marked the man with the whiskers, "hla undo has Just left him $10,000." Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. HhiI No Vacancy. Mr. Dunham "I have called, sir, to tell you that your daughter, Miss Fan nlo, and 1 love each other very dearly. I wan to ask you for her." Old Mlllyuns "Well, you'll havo to wait awhile. There's no vacancy in tho store now that I could put you in to." Cleveland Loader. ' An Kuy Tett. Timmins I havo never been able to make up my mind whether I am gen ius or not. Simmons It is easily tested. Just act like a hog when you are in society, and if you are a genius people will nd admlre you for it. Indianapolis Jour nal. A Devotee. Frank Some aenius in Birmingham has invented a buttonleis shirt Billy Why, that's old. I'vo worn thorn ever since my wife learned to rMe a bicycle. Boston Traveller, THE TURK AND THE IRISHMAN. 1'inliljr Didn't Wnlt lor Ceremony or Prayer. Among tho Turks employed on tho lino of tho first Turkish rnllwny was an old ninn who hnd a son who was a soldtor In otio of tho regiments In tho gnrrlson nt Hustchuk, whom ho hnd not Roon for a good mnny months. Each tiny tho regular through train nrrlved nnd loft, but tho old Turk nov or got tho clinnco to run up to Hust chuk to boo his son, for tho trntn JtiHt enmo nnd went at tho very moment when ho wna cngiKcd at his mltldny prayer. "Why don't you gel Icavo, nnd go to sco him?" said tho practlcnl Irish man. How can 17" replied tho old mnn. "Doesn't tho train conio in and go nwtxy while I nm nt prnyors? Allah wills It thnt I Bhould not sco him." And so tho tlmo continued to pass, tho old man tolling Flynn how his heart was weary to soo his Bon. It happened one dny thnt, as tho trnln drew up nt tho stntlon, tho old mint wna engaged nt his dovotlonB on hi prnyor enrpot closo to tho line, at. empty truck with tho door run bnc'w hnd stopped Jtmt opposlto whoro h wna on his knees nnd IiIb forehead to tho ground, nnd tho Irlahmnn camo nlong. Seized by a sudden Inspira tion, ho caught up tho old Turk, prayer carpet nnd all, and landed him In tho truck Just ub tho trnln moved off. Two days nftor the old mnn enmo back by tho down trnln, hla faco benmlng with pleasure "Ah, my friend," ho said, na ho saw Flynn standing on tho platform, "on ly for you 1 should never have aeon my aon. It must havo been Allah who "put It Into your henrt to throw mo Into tho train. May ho roward you fo It." Harper's Round Taulo. MAID OF HONOR'S DUTY. TIioho Who Attutnl tlm Cznrlnn Mint ba Able to Hew mill Cook. Those who think thnt tho llfo of a lndy nbont a court is necessarily that of a butterfly, may bo aurprlacd to learn that clevornesa with the ncedlo la nn adjunct demanded of tho mnlda of honor nt tho court of Russia, to bo of uao In cascB of cmorgoncy when in nttendnnco on the cznrlnn. That thoy have nlso to read well nloud nnd to Btand for any longth of tlmo goca with out Baying, but It would hardly bo Be lieved that in order to pnBB Into tho imperial presenco Russian mnlda of honor havo to obtain a diploma for cooking! Such la, however, tho caao. In Borne imperial menages, too, tho maid of honor haB to composo the ev eryday dinner menu. And in all this training thoro underlies tho teaching that an empresa or grand duchess of Russia Ib a personago of divine voca tion. Having passed through all this ordeal, tho would-be maid of honor, nt tho ago of 1G or 17, is presented to the empress, and if finding favor in the Imperial eyes, ia appointed a de moiselle d'honnettr pnBslngBubsequent ly through the varlottB grades mon tloncd. From this body of maldona, too, the various grand duchessca, with tho czarlna'H approval, also make their 80lections, Chicago Times-Herald. CURRENT HUMOR. Mlstrcaa Oh, Bridget! Bridget! what nn awful numbskull you are. You'vo put tho potntoea on tho tablo with tho skins on right in front of our vialtors, too! You you what shall I call you? Bridget (affably) Call mo "Agnes," if ye lolko, mum; 'tis me other name. New York World. Mrs. Pakenham (of Chicago) S you passed right through London and never Btopped to see the Queen? Mrs. Beaconstreet (of Boston) Yes. Mrs. Porkonham--Goodncs8 gracious! I should as soon think of passing through Dakota and not stopping for a divorce. Judge. Fuddy What has it to do with th caBO that tho new doctor has lots o money? Duddy Everything, my dear hoy. Tho man who is well heeled ought to be ablo to stamp out diseaso if anybody can do it Boston Transcript. Neighbor "Does your father rent that house you live in?" Boy "No, indeed. It's his own house, every bit of it. It's been bought and paid for and insured and mortgaged and everything." New Clerk "Havo you ever read 'Tho Last Days of Pompeii'?" Mrs. Neurlch "No; what did ho dl of?" New Clerk Somo kind of an erup tion, I believe." Chicago News. A Gorman thus discoursed learned ly upon tho business situation recent ly: "If business is no hotter next wee' dan It waa yesterday two weeks atr den I'm a son of a gun, dat's vat hopos." Philadelphia North Amorlcan. Tho Sentimental She Oh! tho over rentlesa ocean! How It fills mo with sad, vngue longings! The Practical Ho You're mighty lucky. It empties mo of everything. New York Herald. "I see the critics, nlmost to a mnn, are praising Ponsmlth's latost book." "Then they must rogard him as being too weak to bo in any dangor of geU ting to tho top by their holp." Cleve land Leader. "So you refused him?" "Yes; I told him it was better to make a great many men happy by being engaged to them than to make nnn tnlosrntita liv mnrrvlnir him." London Fun Almanac. ODD TRICKS OF MEMORY. Forgetting One' Name nnd Ilemember lug Another I'emnti'ii llnnktrartl. Joo Jofforatm novor forgets his lines but has nn Imperfect recollection ot nnmos, oven forgetting his own some times. Ono day ho called at a post olllco In n small place and naked tho clork: "Any mall for mo?" , "What name?" "Nnmo? Good gracious! I don't know. Lot mo think. Why, I am to piny 'Rip Vnn Wlnklo' to-night nt your hall." "Joo Jefferson?" suggested tho cterk. "Ycb. Jofferson; certainly; thanks;" nnd, receiving his mall, tho actor went awny hnppy. A favorlto trick of a capricious mo mory is to substitute somo other nnmo for tho ono wnntcd, a process duo to naalinllntlon. A couple of ladles on a Chicago street enr naked tho con ductor to leave them at Pennsylvania nvonttc. "There's no such nvcnuo In this suburb," said tho conductor. "But thero cortnlnly is," reiterated tho ladies; Wo havo frlonda living there, nnd ought to know." "I'orhnps you menn Keystone ave nue," suggested a passenger, nnd they Bald thnt wna Juat what they did mean, but thoy know It had something to do with Pennsylvania, which wns Im pressed upon their memories as tho Keystono Stnto. A good story is told of nn cxcollont woman who hnd this fatal faculty for misconstruing unities. Her daughter was expecting a cnll from a gentloman, nnd Bhe impressed upon her mother tho fnct that his name wns n very simple ono and easy to remember Cowdry. Tho mother repented it un til alio waa suro alio could not pos 8lbly forget It, and on the evening when ho called hurried forward 4o meet him, Baying, graclouBly: "How nro you, Mr. Dry cow 7" Chi cago TImcs-IIcraltl. AGRICULTURAL COLLEGE Their Niuiion do not Inillntitn Tlielr Spec ial Object. The Provldenco Telegram says that many agricultural colleges, espcclallr In New-England, show a disposition to conccnl their special function us schools of ngrlcitlturc. "Tho collcgo in Maine," It dcclnres, "has hnd its nnmo changed to 'tho University of Mnlne,' omitting any allusion to farm ing, and will add a school for tho production of lawyers to Us equip ment Tho Stato continues to bo taxed for its support. Tho professors of tho Massachusetts Agricultural Col lego aro ashamed of tho name, and want it called tho Massachusetts Col lego. Professors in our Rhode Island College of Agriculture and tho Mo chnnlc Arts havo not waited for legis lation, but quietly talk about tho Rhodo Island College, a tltlo which would belong to Brown if it was to ho assigned to any institution. How can theso men ho expected to accom plish much for tho elevation of farm ing and tho farmer when they sail under false colors nnd do not like to havo it known that thoy are connected with an institution whero farmlug is taught?" Her Appeal Not In Vain. Not long ago President Diaz of Mexico received a letter from a little girl of Pueblo, in which Bho said: "Mamma locked up my doll, and I wasn't naughty. Pleaso make her lot mo have It again." A day or two later the child got by post from tho genial President a handsome doll, with a note stating his belief, Bhould sho remain good, her mother would never have occasion to lock it away. By that time tho girl's parents had got wind of tho message to Diaz, and they wroto to him expressing regret that their wilful child had taken it Into her head to communicate with him. A note was received in reply from tho President's secretary assur ing tho worthy "ople that his exalted superior had quite enjoyed the experi ence, and was pleased to havo tho worry of holding ofllco relieved oc casionally by such a quaint episode. New York Tribune. A Great SiirirUe. A Michigan paper tolls a story of a littlo girl named Hattle, whoso mother was putting her to sleep one night. At last her mother said: "Hattle, dear, I am anxious that you get qulot and go to sleep, because I want to go downstairs and Join in the evening prayers." "Who's doin' to pway?" asked Hat tle. "Why, Uncle William, of course, dear." "Uncle William pway?" said tho baby, with wide-eyed astonishment, and springing up in bed in tho vigor of her surprise. "W'y I fawt he waa a Demokwat?" Tlio Iteuson of it Name. "Lemmo see," asked the boarder who is always wanting to know things of no use, "what Is It they call those red, green and bluo lights that a skyrocket throws off?" "Verifiers," said tho Cheerful Idiot "Really?" asked the inqulsltlva boarder. "Yes. They givo color to tho re port." Indianapolis Journal. An Aditsjo KnvckHtl lluf "Love is blind," murmured Mr. Moekton regretfully. "That's nonsense," replied his wife. "When a girl falls In lovo with a man sho sees magnificent qualities in him which none of hor family can niaka out aud which become wholly obscure oven, to her in tho course of a year or so." Washington. Star. .-yikw. - . -- -. ' ;., vii