Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190?, October 02, 1896, Image 7

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Lady rjrnrj Somerset's Ilaiband.
Mr. Somcrs Somerset, the uew as
sistant secretary to tho royal commis
slon on the licensing laws, Is tho Bon
not only of tho well known Lady Hen
ry Somerset, but also of Lord Henrv
Somerset, who is still very much allvo
nuaougn pcopie are apt 10 iorgci vne
fact. Owing to certain scandals of an
unseemly typo in which Lord Henry
was implicated, his wlfo separated
from him, and he found it convenient
to live abroad chiefly in Italy. Ho
tmay often be teen at tho La Scala
jopcra house at Milan. Thoso newspa
pers which refer to Mr. Somerset as
,the actual heir to tho dukedom of Ilcau
fort, forget that after Lord Worcester
and nny children that ho may hove,
comes Lord Henry Somerset, and there
fore the son's elnim is very remote
st. James Unzetto.
The Value of Literary History.
Literary history belongs to the do
main of fact just as much ns geography
does, aud the ability on tho part of a
child to reel off the names of authors
and their dates is just as useless as his
ability to toll tho capital of Bolivia or
to draw u map of Afghanistan. A cer
tain amount of literary history is use
ful, tho amount ger in Mr. Stop
ford Brooke's and Prof. Biuhardsonra
primers and in Mr. Brander Mathers'
volumo on American literature, but
not a bit more, for as intellectual
training literary history is not so cOl
ctent as another study. September
fi The Western Man'a Ideal.
The United States is unique in tue
extent to which tho individual has
been given an open field, uncheckod by
restraints of on old social order, or of
scientific administration of govern
ment. Tho Bolf-mado man was the
Western man's ideal, was tho kind of
man that all men might become. Out
of his wilderness experience, out of tho
freedom of his opportunities, ho fash
ioned a formula of social regeneration,
the freedom of tho indvidual to seek
his own. Ho did not consider that his
conditions were exceptional and tem
porary. September Atlantic
Untr to Me ml n Silk Waist.
A dressmaker lays down threo rules
for mending a silk waistt Use ravel
ings when you can. Sew from the un
der side. Do not turn over edges, but
darn flat aud trust to careful pressing.
If a bone begins to show through, do
not mend but cut off the bono an inch.
If the silk wears off around tho hooka
aud eyes, move them along ever so lit
tle. Make a virtue of worn out seams
by applying black feather stitching;
and remember that a silk waist is good
as long as tho upper part of tho sleeve
remains. Plastron, choker, lace, cuffs
and careful mending make a new waist
for you.
Admitted I'rror Ton Soon.
It is very hard to go about with a
bullet and an ache in your head. Still
harder is i. when your doctor disbe
lieves tho headache and bullet and
shuts you up as a lunatic. This hap
pened to a young Hamburg confec
tioner, and for some years he lived in a
lunatic asylum. Finally ho signed a
paper that the headache was a fancy
and tho bullet a mero idea, and that
ho had got them both out of his head.
.And now have come the remorseless X
.rays, which have disclosed tho bullet
in the man's skull. Ought he to be
glad or sorry? London World.
II the llaby tn Cutting: Teetn.
(team and ue that oM ami well-tried remedy, Has,
nrixMAw'a Boothuo Srurr for Children Teething
A Novel Pnenmatlo Tube.
Pneumatic tubes have many uses,
but one of tho latest is attracting a
great deal of attention from its novel
ty. This Is the tube for stacking hay.
It is built in sections, and is controlled
by metal htraps, pivot3 and arms. The
hay is druwn into tho tube, carried
through it with great velocoty, and by
a turntable and swinging arrangement
liko a crane is evenly distributed on
the stack.
Ne eough so bad that Dr. Kay's Lung
Balm will not cure it. See ad.
A story of the time of Shakespeare,
written by John Bennett, will be the
leading serial for the new volume of
St Niuholas. It Is called "Master
Skylark," aud will deal witli the
romantic events of tho Elizabethan
age-. The great dramatist figures as
one af the leading characters, although
the hero and heroine aro a boy and
a girl. Another serial, "The La
Three Soldiers," by William H. Shel
ton, lias n novel plot It tolls of threo
I'd ion soldiers who became veritable
castaway in the Confederacy. Both
stories will begin in the November St
secured to every woman
by the use of
s '
Thousands of afflicted
women have been cured
by Its use.
W' y not You ?
A Purely Vegetabje
A Remedy with a Remarkable
Largo brittle, or new style smaller ',',
'. onout jour tlrULK'IJi- Write for Meitl-
cal JlinnW free. Warner's Solo Caro '
; Co., llihetei,N. Y. !
Ur, Kay's Re- ovator, r$Al'
sotiKtlpatum llv rnd Idooy diseases Alarm;
IwUiUwi. i. ioua nr meaarapica una dgo
L Dr. tl. J Kay Mnaical Co., OmaUa. Neb t
Olijerttnnnltle Ilelinrlor nnd NoUo file
ainn Who Lives Next Door la Unable
to (let Anjr Ileal Tlielr Aminul Three
Months' I'lcule.
HATS tho matter,
old man? You look
Tho greeting on
Monday morning
had tho pocullar
intonation that in
dicates a suspicion
of a prolonged
search for relaxa
tion on Sunday and
its subsequent ef
fect on the norvous system, Bays tho
New York Timeo.
"Look tired! I am tired, and I'm
cross and ugly. Do I look as if I had
boon attacked by nervous dyBpopsia,
almost exhausted by St Vitus' dance
and then left on tho rack for hours?"
"Well, not quito that, old man."
"Then I'm in luck. Tho fact of the
matter is that I was out of tho house
only tihreo hours yesterday and then I
went to Harlom and back in tho cable
cars. They were the only restful hours
I had between early in tho morning
and midnight Why? Bccauso I was
the victim of the confidence of two of
my neighbors who havo closed
their premises and gono to tho
country and have loft servants in
charge. Do you catch on? Well,
some of your funny friends on
tho press don't come anywhere near the
actual facts when they bring out every
year tho pen-worn descriptions of the
antics of servants during tho absonco
of families. If my neighbors' servants
would dress up in tho fineries of their
mistresses, and occupy tho parlors. I
wouldn't mind, because tho damago
would be to tho feelings of thoso who
should bo concerned, but when they in
vite their sisters, cousins, aunts and
nearer relatives to Jamborees in tho
rear yard or basement and disturb my
peace of mind I'm ready to kick.
"Tho rear of my house is about thir
ty feet from tho side of a largo apart
ment houso that has tonants that are a3
quiet as they can be, usually. My fa
vorite room is in tho rear, because it
is cool and shady thero. My suffcring3
began In the morning whllo reading tho
papers and I thought they wouldn't
last long, but I didn't know tho mean
ing of servants' invitations. Tho quiot
old gentleman who clcGcd tho apart
ments in tho second story and went
with his wlfo and daughter about a
month ago, leaving a servant in charge,
would havo been surprised if ho had re
turned unexpectedly yesterday. I Judg
ed from the conversation that tho sorv
ant had invited her brothor and sister
and two cousins to spend tho day with
her In very nicely furnished rooms, be
cause thoy took possession of tho par
lor and proceeded to mako thomsolvos
comfortable. The young men were In
their shirtsleeves, and they apprecito
ed tho restful qualities of tho lounges
by drawing them to tho windows and
gathoring all of tho sofa pillows thoy
could find and stretching out at full
length on them. Between snatches of
all tho now tunes of tho variety halls
were remarks on tho eccentricities of
tho tenants.
One found a French text book and
tried to instruct tho others in tho pro
nunciation of French. Another who
thought he had tho voice of on elocu
tionist recited from ono of tho class
ics that the old gentleman prized.
Magazines and illustrated periodicals
amused them for awhile. Tho mlxturo
of slang and good literature was not
very edifying. After lunch they turn
ed to gossip and the details of picnics
on previous occasions. The laughter
and loud talking Jarred one's nerves,
and I think I would bo willing to pay
a month's rent for tho old gentleman
if he had returned and found tho party
In possession. I couldn't read and I
could hardly wrie a letter and my wife
couldn't get hor usual afternoon doze.
Late in tho afternoon the visitors went
away and I thought we would havo a
quiet evening, but that's where I made
a mistake.
"My wlfo remained at home, but I
went out for a breath of air. When I
returned I hoard the most exasperating
noises from the basement and yard of
tho houso adjoining. Tho servants In
chargo there had invited their friends
or relatives to spend the evening, and
the way they carried on was disgrace
ful. Tho fact that tho front of the
hoiiBO was dark with drawn curtains
waB no indication that liveliness should
not ho expected behind the gloom. Tho
contrast of tho quietness In June, be
fore tho family departed, with the
noisiness in July was remarkable and
suggestive. The speeches, congs and
remarks could not havo been louder
if tho company had occupied an east
side tenement. Tho disturbance lasted
until midnight Porhaps you don't
wonder now that I look tired."
Tho experience may ho suggestive to
house-owners and tenants who do not
realize that they may leave behind op
portunities for disagreeable and objec
Uonablo behavior. It may bo said that
servants should be allowed to havo
some fun, but It is doubtful whether
their masters and mistresses would
knowingly permit them to havo that
fun elsewhere than tho neighborhoods
they are willing to seek at other times.
Tho reflection on tho bohavior of
wme servants should not be applied to
all. Tho servants that havo respect for
the families they servo aro quiet and
orderly nnd thoy are ao observant of
tho requirements of a respectable local
ity as any ono could desiro. Thoy aid
In the solution of tho servant question.
Tho outbreaks of others make tho solu
tion more difficult.
Lively Trade Id the Shipment of Unas'
Tho bones of overy Chinaman whe
dies in this country nro sent back tc
tho celestial ompiro for lntermout, sayt
the Now York World. They tiro shipped
in largo boxes from San Francisco un
der tho designation of "fleh-bono" nl
tho rato of $20 a ton. This flBh-bone '
fiction Is in order to evado tho rule
of tho steamship companies, which
chnrgo full passenger rates for the
transportation of dead bodies. Nearly
overy Chinaman who comes hero Is !
under tho caro of tho Six Companies. J
They sign a contract guaranteeing to
return tho bones of tho dead for burial
with thoso of their ancestors. On
overy steamer leaving San Francisco
thoro nro invalid Chinese steerage
passengers who hopo to live until they
reach tholr native country. An agree
ment exists between tho Six Compa
nies nnd tho steamship managers which
forbids tho burial of these Chinamen
should thoy dio at sen and Uio Six
Companies furnish coffins of tho pecu
liar Chinese pattern for use in such
emergencies. When a Chinaman dice
at sea his body is embalmed, placod in
a Bealed coffin and lowered into tlio
hold. Tho expenso is paid by the
other Chinese posscngerB and stownrds
of tho ship, all of whom belong to Hint
race. When tho ship roaches Hong
Kong tho cofTinB nro delivered to the
Tung Wah hospital, which gives them
to tho surviving friends in China.
Every Chinaman among us Is supposed
to bo registered at tho Tung Wah hos
pital and with tho Six Companies at
San Francisco.
I.nnchlnsr on Kjrir I'hotphute.
"On tho broiling days," says a busy
woman, "food is very distasteful. I find
myself ignoring luncheon hour, nnd
then In tho middle of tho afternoon am
exhausted in consequence. Ono nceda
nourishing food through such strain of
weather, but not heating food. If 1
cannot eat at noon I at least go out
and get an egg phosphate. Thero la
both nourishment nnd a Httlo stimulant
In this drink. I take care to go to a
place whero I can seo tho fresh ;gg
broken into tho glass, which I find
more appetizing nnd nourishing than
the extract used at somo ocda fountain
counters. About G o'clock I get a sec
ond ono, and in this way I get through
a broiling day with comfort Two raw
eggs, I find, aro sufficient nourishment
from breakfast to dinner, both ot
which meals I force myself, If the incli
nation is lacking, to partake of. Phy
sicians say that systems weakened by
fasting succumb easily to tho effects
of heat, but, on tho other hand, hot
meals in tho middle of the day for one
who must go on working through the
heat of tho afternoon aro not to bo rec
ommended. It seems to me tho egg
phosphate diet solves the problem."
Progressive llaminon't 1'artlrs.
A progressive hammock party Is
something now. At one recently given
in a smaller Wisconsin city each guest
upon arrival was presented with a tiny
half square of cardboard on which was
written one-half of some chosen sub
ject. Partners were found by mntch
ing theso cards, the man having tho lat
ter half of the subject being privileged
to sit for flvo minutes with tho girl
who hold tho first part ot the subject.
The lawn presented a very pretty pic
ture, hung as it was with Chinese lan
terns and hammocks and having rugs
spread over tho grass. Over each ham
mock hung a card-board each bearing a
line. Tho couple whoBO card bore the
same inscription as that abovo the
hammock occuplod that particular one.
Among tho subjects were: An Ideal
Boy, An Ideal Girl, Lovo Spoons and
Chaperons. Each man conversed for
flvo minutes upon one subject, and thou
progressed to the next hammock where
conversation upon another topic was
renewed. After each hammock had
been visited tho girls voted as to which
man had ontcrtained them in the bos
manner, and ho won the prize.
A coroner's Jury in Maine reported
that "Deceased came to his death by
excessive drinking, producing apoplexy
in the minds of tho Jury."
An old French lawyer, writing of an
estate ho had Just bought, ndded:
"Thero Is a chapel upon it in which my
wife and I wi3h to bo burled, if God
spares our lives."
On a tombstone in Indiana is tho
following inscription: "This monu
ment was erected to tho memory of
John Jinkins, accidentally shot as n
mark of affection by his brother."
A Michigan editor received somo
verses not long ago with tho following
note of explanation: "These lines wore
written fifty years ago by ono who has,
for a long time, slept In his grave mere
iy for pastimo."
A certain politician, lately condemn
ing tho government for its policy con
cerning tho Income tax, is reported to
havo said: "They'll keep cutting the
wool off the sheep that lays the golden
eggs until they pump It dry."
A merchant who died suddenly left
in his bureau a letter to one of his cor
respondents which he had not scaled.
Ilia clerk, seeing it necessary to send
tho letter, wroto at the bottom, "Since
writing tho abovo I havo died."
An orator at one of the university
unions boro off the palm when he de
clared that "Iho British Hon, whether
It Is roaming tho deserts of India or
climbing tho forests of Canada, will not
draw in its horns nor retire into its
"A reporter in describing tho mur
der of a man namod Jorkln said: "Tho
murderad was evidently in quest of
money, but. luckily, Mr. Jorkln had
deposited all his funds in tho bank
the day bofore, so that he lost nothing
but his life."
A Detroit man recently bought him
self one of tho suits of tow that hnve
pained a great deal of popularity for
Mimmer wear. Tho colored man who
docs odd chores around his homo looked
ut it, turned away aud heaved a tre
mendous sigh.
"What's tho matter.Augustus? Don't
you approve of this outfit?"
" "luint for me tor 'sprem no 'pinion.
But I wantH ter say dat of wus comes
ter do wus, I's rcdy tcr stick by do
lnm'ly eben if I has ter tnko Icbs
"You seem to think this suit is con
nectud with hard times."
"Ynsslr. But I didn't 'maglno dey
wue ez hahd ez all dls. Hit doan mole
so much dlffcr'nco tor cullud folks
W'en I wah llvln' down souf 1'so raised
,hul inm'llcs ob pikcrnlnnles dntud tal
cr coffee sack an' cut hoi's fob dcro
inrros an' malt' It pass fer co't vest an'
ibrecches. But much ez I'vo hyutd
rbout disc huhd times, I nobbcr didn
spek tcr 6eo cr sho nufT whito gon'le
man havo ter go 'roun in jute do's."
Detroit Frco Press.
Iowa farms for salo on crop pay
ments. 10 per cent cash, bnlnnco ,H,
crop yearly until paid for. J. MUL
II ALL, Woukcgan, 111
Ilia Month Mmlo Trouble.
A fow yenrs ago two men wcro con
victed of horso stealing in a district
court In Montana. They deserved a
sentence of ten years imprisonment,
but tho judge let them off with three.
Tho worse man of tho two, supposing
that tho scntonco onco pronounced was
past revision, addressed tho court "I
just wont to Bay," lie told tho judge,
"that when I get out you will bo the
first ono I will como hero to kllL" "Oh,
well," said tho judge, "In that caso I'll
mako it ten years. Then you won't
trouble mo so soon." Having said this
ho turned to tho other mnn aud said:
"Is there anything you would liko to
say?" "Not a blessed word, "answered
tho prisoner. Tho man who said noth
ing is now out While his partner is
still behind tho bars.
For lung and chest diseases, Piso's Curo
is the boat nicdliino io bavo uned. Airs.
J. L. Nortbrott, Windsor, Ont., Canada.
Ittuiieinbnrluir Names,
There is a Boston society woman
who cannot remember names, neither
can her daughter. Ono day they met a
Mrs. Howe, and afterward tho daugh
ter remarked: "llowo invented the
sewing machine didn't ho? Well, just
think of machines and wo will bo sure
to got her name." Tho two Indies went
to ten a few days afterward, and Mrs,
llowo wns there. Up sailed tho moth
er with her sweetest smile and ex
claimed: "My dear Mrs. Singer, how
delighted I am to sec you again!" Soon
afterward tho daughter appeared, and,
witli equal charm of manner, said: "My
dear Mrs. Wilcox, how aro you?"
FIT8 MoppM frri) and prrmtncntlv cured. No
nta iifi.r Ur.t iluy-iiuf Dr. Kllnr'xdrratKerTO
Uealnrer. Kri-o aitrml boltiiiuid trratln.
Bead to Ob. Kuh, 031 Arcli8U, Philadelphia, I'a.
Einrrsou'a l'rnyer.
In tho August issue of the Arena the
editor contributes the following signifi
cant anccdoto concerning Wliitticr and
Emerson: The two were taking a
drlvo together when they passed a
small, unpaintcd house by the road
side. "There," said Emerson, polnt
Tng out the house, "lives an old Cnl
van 1st, and she prays for mo every day.
I am glu'd she does. I pray for myself."
"Does she?" said Whittlor. "What
does thee pray for, friend Emerson."
"Well, when I first open ray eyos on
tho beautiful world, I thank God that
lam alive and live so near Boston."
What you need is something to curo
you. Get Dr. Kay'a Ken ovator. See ad.
In the number of Harper's Bazar Is
sued on October 3d thero will bo given
the first chapter of "KranccsWnldcaux,"
a brilliant serial story from tho pen of
Rebecca Harding Davis. Tho story is
original in treatment, and has for its
motif tho absorbing lovo of a mother
for her only son. It will occupy eight
consecutive numbers of the Bazar and
,bo finely illustrated. "Autumn Fash
'ionB (or Men" will be fully treated in
the next issue of the Bazar.
Mrs. Hendricks (proudly walking oat
of tho sewing room) "Well, Percy,
how do you like my bloomers?"
Mr. Hendricks "Oh, they do very
well, but dear me, how much older
than usual they make you look."
On the following day a neat package
intended for the far away heathen, was
forwarded from tho Hendricks home.
Cleveland leader.
Gladness Comes
With a better understanding of tho
transient nature of the many phys
ical Ills, which vanish before proper ef
forts gentlo efforts pleasant efforts
rightly directed. There is comfort in
tho knowledge, that so many forms of
sickness are not duo to any actual dis
ease, but simply to n constipated condi
tion of the system, which the pleasant
family laxative. Syrup of Figs, prompt
ly removes. That is why it is the only
remedy with millionsof families, and is
everywhere esteemed so highly by all
who valuo good health. Its beneficial
effects aro duo to tho fact, that it is the
ono remedy which promotes internal
cleanliness without debilitating the
organs on which it acts. It is therefore
all important, in order to get its bene
ficial effect:, to note when you pur
chase, that you havo tho genuino arti
cle, which is manufactured by tho Cali
fornia Fig Syrup Co. only and bold by
all reputable druggists.
If in the enjoymeut of good health,
and tho system is regular, laxatives or
other remedies are then not needed. Ii
afflicted with uny nctunl disease, one
may bo commended to tho most skillful
physicians, but if in need of a laxativv
ono should havo tho best, and with the
well-informed ovcrywhorc, Syrup a'
Figs stands highest and is most lurgel. '
Used and gives most general satisfaction
nlr nnnm In Cnbbngn Leave.
"Tho hot spell has beon good for mo
In ono way," said an uptown produce
dealer. "You know thoro is a popular
uoltof in tho country that cabbngo
leaves will protect one from sunstroke.
Thnt belief has been communicated to
the city, and tho idea litis cropped out
wonderfully in tho past fow days. You
know it's only tho green leaves that
are supposed to be protectors, nnd tho
only thing for a person to do who
wnnts ono of them in a hnrry to put
under his hat is is to buy a wnolo head
of cabbage. Truckmen and street
cleaners nro my best customem this
work. Yesterday afternoon a half doz
en of tho latter enma iu hero, bought
four heads of cabbage, divided tho
green leaves, nnd, with helmets stuffed
with them, wont confidently back to
their broiling work." Now York
HalTa Catarrh Onre
Is a constitutional cure. Price, 75c.
Harper's Weekly for September 10th
will contain an important articlo by
llrigadlcr-Gcncral A. W. Greeley, U. fci
A., on Nanscn's "Farthest North;"
Hon. Worthlngton Q Ford will contri
bute a valuable articlo on Washington's
farewell address. There will bo a
double-page picture by tho lato C. S.
lteinhart, entitled "Illgh-tldo at Get
tysburg," and tho battlo of Lako Erie
will bo Commemorated in tho "Naval
Matties" series bv Jnmes Barnes, with
nn illustration by Carlcton T. Chap
tun n.
k r.
Everybody likes ' Battle Ax" because of it
exceedingly fine quality
Because of the economy there is in buying it
Because of its low price, Irs the kind the rich
men chew because of its high grade, and the kind
the poor men can afford to chew because of its
great size.
A 5-cent piece of " Battle Ax" is almost twice
the size of the 10-cent piece of other high grade
l HI il VbajaajajaaaMsM
The acme of cycling comfort
and delight is in store for the
purchaser of a Columbia Bicy
cle. It has no equal Its speed
on track and road has been
rwvwv C
Versa of Imaglnatloit
A Tonorable couplo from a far wmt
ern town arrived late at night at if
BOtiBido tavern. Just as the hubn4
was falling' aslcop, Ha thurraurvtff
"Listen to tho urf Matilda; It'a !
rious; worth tho journey. 1 fear
henrd it for forty years." In the rana
ing they saw no sen from window
piazza. On Inquiry the husband 4iaf
covcrcd that it was a bowling alto?
thnt had lulled him to sleep. -Boat
That Pleasing
Paralyzing Pis!
IIow good It looks I How
good it ial And how it
hurts. Why not look into tha
question, of PHI after Pie?
Cat your pie nnd take Ayer'a
Pills after, and pie will pleas
and not paralyze.
Cathartic Pills
s nnju
sW' ..wOt
. J
Likes It"
Standard of the World.
The Columbia Catalogue Cresijby
caUtac co the Columbia agent.-o
by mail for two 2 -cent aUunpa.
branch Store and Agencies aa al
most every city aid tows.