Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190?, August 07, 1896, Image 5
ft i FiTZHERBERT. Mv nnnio Is John Smith plain Smith, w thout chango or nddltlon of vowel nnd 1 was In no wav discon tented with it till I foil in lovo with Kntlo Rogers. Kutio had never sncor od nt it, but hor oldur sis lor, Miranda, had mora than oucu hinted that it was neither romantic nor uncommon; and her fathor, in his somewhat lengthy discourses about tlio Brtlsh aristo cracy, had an aggravating way of looking apologetically at mo ovory time ho spoko of "a good name." In our commercial community Smith was counted a better name than Rogers, ex-captuin of dragoons, who could scnrcolv pay his thirty pounds rout and novcr wore a (lucent hat. I quite agreod with my noighbors on these points till I fell in lovo with Kutio and grow familiar with Miran da's sontlmeuts about tlio ignoranco of Fhlllstlno Rivorbaiik." Captain Rogers was descended from Fitzroger, who came over with tlio con queror, and as I listened revoroutly to tho h'stor, of the family progress through eight conturles, tlioro was a total collapso of my once fool nil pride in belonging to what a local papor called "ono of tho oldest families in Rlvor bank." For Rlvorbauk was scarcely ns old as my fathor. having grown into a town with n speed rarely equalled on th!s sido of tho Atlantic. In a go no ml way I do not und or value nn self, but it was with a deop sense of humility thai I Implored tlio descendant of Fitzrogor to become my father-in-law. Wo wero aloiio togeth er in the dining-room of tho thirty pound houso, ho sitting in a shabby armchair, I standing on a still shab bier hearthrug. Ho looked up nl tho "Bnttlo Roll of Hastings," which hung over the mantolpieco, and down at tlio fire, kept low by economical Miranda. Then, having woighod tho past glories of Fitzroger against tho present prico of coals, ho accepted my proposal with tho magnificent condescension of a king consenting, for certain siato roa sons, to bestow the hand of a royal princess on an aspiring subject. So Katie and I wero engaged, and for u timo 1 was supremely happy. I was not quite vain enough tosharo my darling's opinion that I, John Smith, was bolter worth worshipping than all Carlylo's Heroes" put together; but I was rathor easily convinced that I was far too lino a follow to fear any rivnl. So when Katio went on a visit to Loudon there was no bitterness in my regret, for I believed in hor and myself. At iirst I was not disturbed by Mi randa's boasts about tlio advantages her sistor was enjoying in "tlio best society." but when tho London visit cxtcmlod for weeks and mouths beyond Its original limit I began to feel vaguo ly uneasy. In those days Katie's let ters, though loving, wero not long, and slio more than once apologizod for tlieir brevtv by pleading "a particu lar engagement," the nature of which eho never expla ued. My conildouco sank, my jealousy arose. At last sho came home, and then I noticed a change in her that seriously alarmed me. Sho was paler and qui eter, and at times there was a wistful look In hor oyos, suggestive of some thing in hor mind. It could not bo anxiety nbout her father's pecuniary affairs, because about that time ho ap peared in a new hat and Miranda kept better liros. Tlieso outward and vis ible feigns of prosperity would have given mo sincere pleasure if it had not been for tho suspicion that old Rogers wns more than ever d.sposod to tako the Norman conquost tono with me, nml for the coiiniuly that Miranda's sneers at "pooplo who cannot count their grandfathers" wore all for my benefit What did tills sort of a thing mean? Had Katio boon tompicd away from mo br a lover with a longer podlgreo? Would Rogers tell mo some dav, like the father in old fashioned romance, that ho had "othor views" for his daughter? One evening I called much lator than usual, having boon detained by an im portant business matter in tlio neigh boring city of Shipley. The outor door of the houso was open, and I. in my usual way, turned tho hnudlo of tho vestibule door ami walked into the drawing-room, which appoarod to bo empty. I was just go ng to ring tho boll for tho servant when I hoard a pleading little voice bo hi ml mo: "Oh. I sav, Jack-, don't do that!" It was tho volco of Bob, tho young est of Katio' s main young broth ers, and turning sliarph around. I saw his seared little iaco pooping betweon the curtains drawn across tho bow win dow. "Como hero, dear old Jack," ho on troatod and stay with mo till sho goos past." "What she?" I asked, as I stopped behind the curtains to find Bob's hithorto invisible form clad in a night gown. "Miranda," ho added in a tragic whisper. Bob had bluo oyos and golden hair, and in his white array ho looked like an angol in a picture. But I rightly guessed that he had doscendod from the upper regions that night on no angelic mission. "I thought sho was safu up in tho lumber-room for tho next half-hour," he explained, "and I got out of bod and was slipping down to tho kltchou for a taste of tho now jam. I know it was my only chance. SIio'b so boastly nioau nbout it wheu it's In pots. I just got to tho hall when I hoard her sneaking down stairs, so I ran iu horc. Slio's iu tho dining-room now, and I don't know whother sho's going up again or down to tho kitchen." "Don't bo a coward, my boy," 1 said, fooling it my duty to bo moral. "Of courso Miranda will scold if she finds you, but you must bear it liko a man." Scold!'' repeated Bob, with scorn In his subdued tones. "Do you think I'd caro if It was only that?" I understood tho full peril of tho situation now. Miranda pridod hor Bolf on doing a mother's duty to tho motliorless boys, and I know that whatever hor hand had found to do sho did it with all hor might "And It's just becauso 1 ain't a cow ard I don't wnnt to meet her," went on Bob, evidently mindful of tho tra ditions of Fitzroger valor. "You see, Jack, X could hit back if sho was a man, but sho ain't, you know, and of courso no fellow who is a goutleman over hits a woman." "Robert," 1 murmured, "you aro tiio soul of chivalry." 'Oh, shut up, Jack Smith!"' and my small brothcr-In-lnw-clect hold me with a desperate grip. "Sho's coming in!" I peered cautiously betweon tho heavy curtains, and caught a glimpse of Miranda's lank form and lynx oyos. Tho next moment she was vanishing, but sho stoppod as Katie appeared at tho door. "Kate," oho said, Iu her thin, sharp voice, "I was looking for you. I think you might help mo pot tho jam. Smi th may not bo hero to-night, and i f ho comes lot him wait How palo you look! I can toll you, m y dear, that your appearanco has not improved sinca you took u p with Filzherbert." I stood with freezing blood behind the curtains, wondering what awful revelation was about to wreck my life's happiness. Iu a lightning flash of jealous imagination I saw Filzhor- bort. No doubt ho was one of tho swells Katio had mot in London. A military swoll, ono of those handsome, haughty guardsmen 1 had read about iu soc cty novels. "Miranda," sa'd Katio, "don't you think I ought to toll Jack about Fitz hcrhortr ' "No, I don't," said Miranda sharp ly. '1 don't sou why the interests of our family tiro to bo risked In a collision witli the narrow mlddlo-class prejudic es of Mr. John Smith." Katie's voice sounded a little wenry when sho spoke ngain. "iTou know. Miranda, you wero hor rliiod ourself when I first told you about Fitzherbert's proposal.'' Miranda replied in n tone of cold superiority: "I was more open to conviction than you would find Mr. John Smith. We who have boon rootod in English soil for eight centuries naturally take larg er views of life than mushrooms of yesterday. Besides, your conduct in this affair is justified by tho example and approval of women in tho best so ciety." What a world of whitod sepulchres! I had never loved Miranda, but I had al ways respected her. However skeptical I might have been about her personal charms, I had never doubted hor prin ciples. Mirauda taught a class in tho Sunday-school, worked a district on slr.ct carity organization principles anil was decorated with tlio order of the Blue Ribbon. Yot hero was this seem ngly virtuous Miranda applaud ing hor sister's falseness to a true lover, because it was tho fashion of women in the best society to trample on honest hearts. "1 liato coueealmont." said Katie; "and Jack is so truthful himself, that I can't bear the Idea of decoiving him. Oli, Miranda, dear, I was so happy when F.lzliorbert made mo tho offer that 1 never stopped to wonder what Jack would think about it but now I am m miserable that I sometimos think I must give tip Fitzhorbort" Rubbish!'' said Miranda, "and sel fish rubbish, too. 1 wonder, Kato Rogers, how you can tain iu that way, wlten you know how useful Fitz herbert's money is to your poor fa ther." Oli, this was too awful! Kato not not only false to mo, but actually so mean as to take money from her now lovor. I could stand it no longer. I wrenched m wolf from poor little Bob's grasp, and stood serenly faciug the two girls. Miranda fled from the room. Katio .stood white and still. "Pray, do not give up Filzherbert on my humblo account." I said scorn fully. "Do not let my vulgar proju dico In favor of truth und honosty in terfere with the wider morality of tho best society. Marry Filzherbert to morrow, if you like, and bo as happy as you deserve to bo." Tho color rushed back into Katie's face. Tho light sparkled iu her oyes. Sho actually laughed. Thank you very nittuli, Jack," bho said, "butevon with your kind permls hion I can't marry F.tzherbert The fact is," and her bluo eyes danced, Filzherbert is married." "And you daro to toll mo," I cried In wild rage, "that you have not only accepted love but money from a mar ried man?" Sho lookod straight into rcy furious fnco with hor laughing oyes. "Filzhorbort is not amarrlod man," sho said, "I was novor good nt guosslng rid dlos," I said, loftily; "and as I ahi not in the mood for thorn to-night, I glvo this ono up. If Filzhorbort Is uot a mar rlcd man. what, in hoavon's nnmo, is ho?" Cloar camo tho answor In tho swcot, gay. girlish voicot "Filzherbert Is a married woman." Then, with tlio crushing conscious ness of having mado a fool of mysolf, I llBtonod humbly to Ratio's llttlo Btory. 'Fitzhorbort Is a West End mlllinor, and was Aunt Clara's maid boforo hor marriage, Hor nnmo Is not roally Filzhorbort, but somolhlng quito ordi nary, llko Brown or bmllh oil, I bog your pardon, Jackl Sho was always fond of mo. and I ofton amusod mysolf looking through hor now fashions. Ono day, whllo 1 was waiting for Aunt Clara, who had gone to her dentist, n fussy old lady camo into tho shop, nnd was vory angry becauso nono of hor now Paris bonnets suited hor. Sho wns ono of tlio host customers, nnd poor Fitzhorbort was in dlspair whon sho wns leaving tho shop In a rngo. Well, Jack, I havo qui to n gonitis for millinory. Ono of our nncoslors was n painter, and Aunt Clara says 1 havo his artistic oyo for color and form. Anyhow, I always scorn to know ox actly what suits a fnco. I porsuadod tho old lady to sit down again, and with Filzhorbort's permission I mado n fow ahorat ons in ono particular bonnot. Tho rosult was so becoming that tho old lady was charmed. 'You aro a heaven-bom mlllinor, my denr,' sho said. 'Why don't you go In for that sort of thing? It is all tho fash ion among tho host pooplo. Aunt Clara called for mo presontly, aud was quito struck with tho now idoa. After a long talk with Fitzhorbort it was decided that I should go tho shop ovcry day and qualify for tho position of millinory aide-de-camp. I bocamo quito popular with tho ctistomors, es pecially tho elderly ones. I lovo old ladios, and delight in making thorn look lovely, and somo of thorn threat ened to leavo Fitzhorbort unless I undertook tho arrangement of thoir bonnets and caps for tho term of my single life. Fitzhorbort offered mo very liboral pny for my assistance, and I was so glad to think of holping poor old daddy that at first I forgot about you and your posslblo objection to marrying a young woman who worked for a shop, but I thought of this aftor wards, and was always fighting with mv conscience about tolling you tho truth. But, indeed, there aro many lady milliners in London, nnd oh, Jack, I boo yon don't mind so vory much, aftor all!" Tho precise nature of my conduct on this occasion nocd not bo hero record cd. The br'dal wrcatli was a present froni Fitzhorbort Household Words, Nantucket's Jailer. Apropos of Nautuckot, ono hoars somo rather odd sayings and of somo quaint hnppon ngs there. "You see, wo aro somewhat out of tho way." said ono of tlio islanders; "so tramps seldom trouble us, nnd it is on ly whon our summer visitors como thnt we think of locking our doors at night" Last fall a man was trlod for petty larceny, and sentenced by tho Judge to threo mouths in jail. A few days after tho trial, tho Judgo, accompan ied by tho sheriff, was on Ids way tc tlio Boston boat, whon they passed u man sawing wootl. Tho sawyer stopped his work, touch ed his hat, and snid, "Good morning. Judge." Tho Judgo lookod at him a momont, passed on u short distance, liion turn ed to glance backward, with tho ques tion, "Why, Sheriff isn't thnt tho mnn I sentenced to three months iu jail? ' 'Yos." replied tho Shorlff. hosiUit ingly "yes that's tho mnn; but you you see, Judgo, wo wo havon't any one in jail now, and wo thought it a useless exponso to hiro somebody to koop tho ja.l for throe months just for tills ono man; so I gavo him tho jail key, aud told him that if he'd sleep thoro nights it would bo all right " Harper's Magazine. Overheard at the Zoo. There was a largo crowd around tho big brick nnd granite tank that is be ing built at tho north end of tho ani mal houso. ."What's that for, my love?" "For tho hippopotami." Tho what?" "Hippopotami! Thoro arc two now, you know." You mean hippopotamuses." "No I don't; I moan hippopotami. That's plural for h ppopotamus." "My love, excuso mo, butyou'ro nn ass. Hippopotami is Latin and hippo potamuses is English. You can't tell mo anything about paohydorniatotip mammals." New York Herald. Couldn't Fool Him. Old Boy "Thomas, If my wife asks you where I am tell her that I have gouo to tho opora." Sorvaut Certainly, sir, cortainly; but where are you really going in oaso anbyody eho ahould want to know?" Texas 8i flings. Conway Castlo. At longth ono perfect day, wo went (o tho castlo. Tho old man who has tho place In chargo took tho small foe, unlocked tho door, and loft us to our own dov.cos. Tho wholo glorous ruin wns to all Intents nnd purpose! our own. During that long goldon after noon not a soul camo noar w, not a voloo dlsturbud us. Could ono doscrlbo n cloud, or a wnvo, or n sunsot, so that a blind man could sco It with his mind's oyo? Could ono givo a doaf matt an Idoa of a bird song or tho poal of an organ? As woll try to do this as to do scrlbo tho aolomn grnndour of those tlmo-worn, Ivy-grown, moss-covorod battlomonts, loft now to-Uho swcot winds of hoavon, tho flocks"of rooks thnt fly In and out of turrot nnd towor, and tho climbing rosos that brlghton It with thoir bonuty. Irom court to court wo wnudorod, from tower to towor, from battlomont to battlomont Hero, all unroofod nnd opon to tho stars, lies tho groat banqueting hall, moro bonutlful, moro Imposing, now, It may bo, In its ivy-wroathod desolation, than when tho gay rovolers of Edward's court mado its vast archos ring with song nnd laughter. Horo still aro tho wldo iiroplacas. rich carvings, tho vory ghosts of past comfort nnd delight. Horo is the oratory, with its tracortcd window and lofty grouod archos, where Eloanor nnd Faithful prayed. Horo Is hor bod-chamber, communi cating With that of the K ug, and still rotaiuing tracos of Its rich ornamenta tion. Loading from it is an nrohod ro coss still callod Queen Eleanor's Oriol, tho windows of which, according to a contemporary poot, must havo boon linoly Btainoil: la her oriel there slio wan, Clothed well with royal glass; Filled It was with Imngery, Every window by nnd by." Horo nro stairways worn by foot thnt tvoro stilled long contur.es ago, and, In tho deop thickness of tho walls, tho passagos, dark and torturous, through which thoso foot atrodo on orrands of business, or ploasuro, or intrigue. Hero nro stono bonchos thnt scorn still to kcop tho impress of tho forms that through tho slow generations sliapod and hollowod thorn. Wo lookod through openings in tho "oranniod walls," through which death and des truction had rained on many a besieg ing army. Far below us, as wo stood on tho lofty battlements, lay tho waited town, with its massive somloircular towers, so powerful otico for defouso or attack, so useless now as tlioy slopt in that sorenc.it air. Closo about tho castlo clustorod tho cottages and gnrdous of tho people, but they only added to tho impressivonoss of tho picture. Just nt our foet wns a pretty stono house, its courtyard gay with llowors, the castlo wall forming ono of its boundaries. Jttliu Dorr, t' Atlantic A Distinguished Houge. "Ouo of the most comical things I'vo evor hoard was told mu in Caucasus," said Dudioy Winston, tho young man who accompanied his fathor on tho mis sion to Persia. "It was iu Tiftos, tho capital of Georgia. You know thoro' s an m dean storo thoro a big placo of business wlioro all sorts of Yankco notions nro dealt out at enormous profit to tho natives. I droppod in there. Ono of tho objects of Interest to which the Russian salesman dlroctod my Bpoeial attontion was a patent polnto peeler. "Doso Instrument," ho said, "cos medd by zo faymoos 'ouso of Pa Aug." I was astonished. What house did you say?" "Zo faymoos 'ouse of Pat Aug." "Novor hoard of it," I said; "I guess you aro mistaken." 'Mcestcckon? No, saro. I havo often hoard of zo 'ouso; and I havo ofton soon zo nnmo of zc 'ouso. I vill show him to you now. Oh, it is a house which enjoys groat famo horo." And with that ho looks for a sp col men potato poolor and bring ono out "Zero, sare," ho sajs, "ees zo name ongravod in zo motal. Seel" "1 burst out laughing uutil my sides ached. Thoro was tho legend: "Pat Aug. 17, 1873.' And tho 'Pat Aug.' part of it ho had taken to bo tho firm's name. I found that the potato peelor was famous under tho name of 'Pat. Aug.' all ovor tho Caucasus." CAi'ca go Herald. It Should Recommend Him. "Robocca, you shall not shpeak mlt dot Moses Lovl vouco moro." "0 f adder, you preak ml no hoard t Vo vos almost engaged. Vy shall I not shpoak mlt him?" "Ho haf shoatud me. Ho haf sold mo a pasto diamond for a shouulno shtono." "0 father, dot shouldt rccommond him to you as a son-in-law. If ho can fool a viso man liko you, see vat a fortuno ho haf in dor chowolry pizlness." "Veil, Robocca. you vas schmarder as i thought. Get married von you liko. I am nukchious to go into barduorship with mine sou-in law!" Snn Francisco IWtsp. An Inquisitive Mind. Bertie Mamma, papa told 'me that thoso corners of the leaves of tho book were dogs' oars. Mamma Yes, Bortie. Bertie Well, mamma, whoso dogs' ears aro thoy? Judge. Soma Real Saying3 of Real Chil dren. Walter had boon lata to broakfast sovoral mornings Iu succession. His mamma, wishing to linpross up on him tho bonuty of punotunlllv, talked quito soriously nbout tho mat tor for somo tlmo. He pondered ovor his oatmont for a fow moments, thou, looking up, asked Iu n vory puzzled tono of volco: "Mamma, who scolds God whon ho's Into to breakfast?" We woro talking nbout tho war at the dinner tablo ouo dny. I had rolntod sovoral Inohlonts thnt had como undor my observation, whllo living noar a court houso wlioro faro woll ban quots woro given to the do parting soldiers. Wnltor appoared vory muoh Interest ed, and finally said, with an air that was intended to bo compl inontnry, "1 thtulc you must havo boon well 'quaint od with Musttslom, wasn't you?" His papa was vory tall, and ho Lj an unbounded ml miration fur hlinT My husband appropriates only five toot one inch of porpoudiotilur to him self, nnd Walter, though fond of him, cannot bo reconciled to his compara tive brevity. Ho oanio to mo olio day with n vory dissatisfied face, and said, "Mr. War ren, was Mr. Warron naughty why God didn't imiko him nice aud tall llko my papa?" Nettie, agod sovon, exhibited an ap preciation of tho beautiful and tin ab horronoo of the ugly In a rather start ling manner ouu dny. Wo hoard a llttlo child crying in front of tho house, nnd rushing to tho door, woro informed by n nurso maid that our little girl hnd slapped hor baby "right spang in tho fnco. Wo didn't know just what spang" meant, but concluded from thcomphn sls plaoed upon it that it was not a synonym for "gontlo." Questioning Nottlo, wo woro inform ed with decision: "Yos, mamma, I did slap It; nnd any baby that homed itsolf as homely as that ono, whon thoro' s protty babios nil ovor tho park ought to bo slapped. L ko many othor children, Nottlo had a foudnoss for "preaching." Going behind her littlo table, she would pilo it with books, and "hold forth" in tho rogulntion "sormon voico," "praying volco." nnd "bono dictlon volco," ns slio called them. Ouo dav sho was exhorting an Imag inary audlouco to "throw away all sin boforo It gets too big," whon hor atten tion was attraotod by a man otttsldo with an immense nosu. Almost imme diately after him camo a boy with a whoolbarrow, and sho ovldoutly thought tlio timo for prnctical Illustra tion had como. Hor shrill tone droppod ntoncoto thoso of solomu warning, ns sho said: "If you don't It'll got like that man's no3o, so big they'll put it on a wheel barrow and wheol It out Let us pray." Yankee Blade. Buying a Hat A woman of 40 and a girl of 18 went into a fashionable millinory store on Woodward avenue and bogan pricing goods. Horo' s a bunnit mother, that'll suit ye," said tho girl, taking a whito laco affair iu her brown hand. "Taln't my stylo," said tlio woman, ('flttlna T wnnl. it li fit n n fit l.rmtitil Imt- tliot I kin wear to meet n' or mllkin', liko that yore." It was a black straw hat turned up ou tho side with a cluster of whlto llowors. "I llko tho poslos," said tho woman, lay.ng it on ovor her sunburned face, "it 'minds me of a hat 1 had on when I fust see your father. That was twenty yeara ago this very summer. How do it look?" "Fust-rate," said tho girl, "pap won't know you. Lor, mother, you look younger than mo now, ef you ain't got s'lnuch color." Tho mother looked hard at hersolf in tho glass. Thoro was a groat dual of glass und very little molhor, fur she was a small, spare woman nnd the hat covered her up. "I'm burned, " sho snid, "'twixt cooklu' an' harvestln', but when I wero your ago, Sailio, my cheeks wore redder than youru be. Do ye think now that in a high wind sleh as wo hov out homo I could koop it on." "Wo f anion them on with this,'' said the mlllinor, handing thu custom er n long phi. "Thank ye. ma'am but my head ain't a plucush on. Agiu 1 run thot pin through it I wouldn't hov enuy housu loft You may put on a pair of strings and I'll tako tho hat 1 ain't hod a uew ouo now for ovor four years. ' The strings being supplied, tho hat was paid for and put on. It was nn anomalous thing, tied hard down on the head of its owner, but as tho two women went out the faces of both beamed with happiness ovor tho in congruous purchase. Perhaps the girl solaced herself with the thought that thu hat that was not too young for tho mother might not bo too old for tho daughter. Detroit Free tress. Thlmr even un pretty well after all. .Men throw banana skint oa the sidewalk, and then the luuaiia skins throw raeu on I lie sldcwullc Uurl'HjtiH Frt. J'rttt, Visitor "I jour mother In lo-dar, my boy!" Cauilia child "No, ilr, the's Uuini; up preserves. St to llavtn Xcjiu " "r ANOThtiR AID TO SURGERY. Itomnrlcnt.lo Apparatus UneJ for Touting luteriinl Wound. Police Surgoon Oldshuo has pur chased for the dopartmoiit of public safety n BUrg.cal apparatus, which, It Is expootod, will bo of immense benefit iu certain cases of shoot ng. stabbing, etc., that are brought to tho nttont.on of the poll co nt the various pollco sta tion houses. Many of tho wounds which nro received by pooplo In fights nro In tho abdomen, and this apparatus Is for tho purpose of determining whothor tho intestines nro injured, a very Important point In tlio treatment of persons so s.tuatud. By un explanation afterward afford ed thu tiso of this apparatus will be the means of saving many n man's life. Tho apparatus has lately boon invent ed, and Police Surgeon Oldshuo aud Dr. Pollouk have buen tho first to test its virtues here. It consists of a rubber retort, to which is attached a long rub ber tube, and Is very simple ns It ap pears laid out Iu u doctor's oillce. Supposing that n man is brought to ouo of the station homos, shot or slab bed hi tho abdomen, It is difficult to toll whether any of the intestines are punctured. Thu rotort is filled with hjdrogou gas, which the surgeon can easily prepare, and this gas is injoclod into tho vital parts with considerable pressure. A tube is placed iu the wound and if tlioro is n wound iu tho Intestines tlio gas is bound to come out by way of the wound aud into the tube. By npplying a lighted match to tho end of the tube It can do soon whothor.' the gas Is escaping, for, If tho gas (j thoro It will iguito. On tho othor hand, If tlioro is no wound iu tho In testines tho gas will escape by way of tlio mouth, aud by moans of propor In struments thoro aud the application of u light it can bo soon if tlio hydrogen gas is thus escaping. A roportor, lu talking with Police Surgoon Oldshuo last night about tho now apparatus, inquired: "But is not hydrogon gas highly oxplosivo? and Is It not unsafo to in troduce it into tho body In sttoli a form?" Dr. Oldshuo ropliod; "That is tho opinion; but Dr. Sllnos, tho Inventor of tho apparatus, has followed tho plan with great success, as has Dr. Mor docai Prico of Philadelphia. Thoy havo shown thnt this is not only Innocuous, but an absolute diagnosis of intestinal wounds.1' "Well, but of what bonolit is such a knowledge? ' "if the intostiuo Is wouncod tho oporatlon of laparotomy can bo per formed by tho oponing of tho abdo men, and tho wound of tho intostine taken up nnd tho catgut ligaturos ap pllod to bring tlio edges together, aud with general antiseutio troatmont tho pntlont has a much greater chance of recovery. It will afford ovory oppor tunity to Bavo thu livos of porsous stab bod or shot, or otherwise wounded in tho nbdomon." Pollco Surgoon Oldshuo attended tho mooting of the State Medical So o oU a short tlmo ago, and tlioro piekod up tho po.uter about tho now appar atus. Ho is always ou tho lookout for what benefits surgery iu his position, and decidod to introduco tho now plan. Dr. Pollock asked that ho bo callod for the first caso, wlioro the doctor would mako tho oxpurimout Not long ago a Polo wasshot iu Soho, and Police Surgoon Oldshuo was callod to altond him. The wound was in tho nbdomon. Drs. Oldshuo nnd Pollock decided to try tho now apparatus. By tho action of tlio hydrogen gas it was found that there was no abdominal wound. It was further doclded thou that tho patlont bo not oporatod on, hut kept quiet though tho bullet was In lis body. A fow days sufficed for the recovery of tho Pole.showmg that, for tho first caso at least, tho apparatus mado a correct diagnosis. Pittsburg JJitpalch. True, It May be a Comanche Whoop. An Indian wnrhoop is nol n Sioux thing sound. P.tlsburg Chronicle. Another Trade Deception Er- po3ed. "Feathers marked down." advertis es a doalor. That is dishonest Life. A Suggestion to tha Maxim Quoter3. The rolling stono has yet to loarn what It wants to gat hor moss for. 1'icuyune. mt A Reasonable Ra quest Lady (angrll to tramp at the back door) You can't got any thlug to eat here. y Tramp (politely) I bog your par don, madam; I don't want anything to oat I havo just eaten a goot din ner at tlio hotitio of your neighbor, but if you can givo mo a cup of coffea and n clgarolto you would placu me uudor many obligat.ons. Wwti -g'.oa Vrittc. A Dangerous Kind of Sport Tlio man who does everything "on his own hook" is llkoly to got caught ouo of thosu days. Lowell Citizen. Customer (in clsr aton-) 'Glnnne a trooi clpnr, hoy. SutUlu' that imoke free." Bo "1 cuius 1 cau't ro je, boss; there' no clear In tuh store that smokes lesa'a Of ceuts." Tim'. .. .