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About Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190? | View Entire Issue (Aug. 7, 1896)
KEEP THE HOUSE. A Dying Farent's Excellent Advlca to I1U Sorrnwliis Children. Soil ovory thing. suffer ovory thing to tbo way of doprlvallon, was a dy ing parent's ndvlco to his chlldron, but keop tho houso to bo togothor In, what ever bofolL It was sound ndvlco. So long as thoso chlldron, young or old. bad a roof; thoy could sudor and bo strong togothor. m Tholr wants, tholr deprivations, woro tholr own. and not public proporty. If noods must that tbey starvo, thoy could starro in sllsnco and dignity, with nono but theniiolvcs tho wisor or tho worse. All tbblr llttlo shifts woro not subjoots of general disciuslou; tholr work was not on Inspection; strangers woro not ablo to Intorforo among thorn, or to sow dis tentions thcroby, or to nllontato affec tions. Closo together, in tho habitual contact of daily llfo, thoy could only do bound tbo moro closoly In habits of thought, in Ioto and in mutual con cert. And tho roof-troo was responsible for it all. Tho roof-troo was tho bond and tho protootor; it took tho placo of pa rent; it was a shioid and bulwark against tho world. No, tho oxporlenco of scattorod and shlp-wrockod families has ovorywhoro provod that much dis comfort, much misory, might havo been spared thorn had thoy olung to gether in ono homo; that thoso who havo a homo should koop it; it is tholr safoty in worldly and material com fort Part with land part with jowol ry, part with heir-looms, koopsakos, treasuros, but koop tho houso so long as tho timbers hold togothor. It is a stronghold; it is a castle, howovor poor and old; Warwick Costlo itsolf no bolter for its purposos. It is not raoro ly that, "bo it ovor so humblo, thoro's no placo liko homo," but that it is borne, tho singlo spot whoro ono rolgus, whoro ono is unfettered and fully ono's self, whoro ono lias ono's tools and equipments loosoly and at enso about ono, whoro ono is at largo liberty, whoro ono exists satisfied with tho notnrnl lovo of of kin, if othor lovo is doniod ono, a plaoo to rotlro and withdraw in, to fool safoty and protec tion in, to llvo in' and at last to dio in. Harper's liazar. Queer Plants at Washington. 'I want to call your attention to tho tmlicensod bar-rooms you will notioo in this houso," said Air. Smith, as ho entered another houso noar by. lloro flowers rosombling small rod bananas could bo soon. Thoy woro hollow and open at tho top, and con tained a liquid. Thoso woro the un licensed bar-rooms. Breaking ono off and oponlng it, it was filled with rod ants. "Thoy como nnd drink tho liquor," said Mr. Smith, "got drunk and dlo happy." "Horo is tho cookroaoh bar-room,1' ho contlnuod, "and hero tho spiders. An ant will not drink any of tho roaoh or spider liquor and vico vorsa. Noar tho door a beautiful plant with creamy whlto loaves was labeled "con sumption plant." "Whence tho namo?" asked tho ro portor; "hi tho plant disoasodP" "Yes, Itroally has tho consumption," was tho roply, "and whoro thoso loaves arc tinted a croamy whlto thoy aro diseased lungs. You know that a plant bronthos through its loavos. This plant is propagated for its boauty." Tho fly-trap flower in a lnrgo pot noar by hundreds to tiny thiok loaves rcsombling somi-circular jaws provid ed with small, sharp teeth, atlractod tho roportor's attention. That's tho woll known fly-trap flower," said Mr. Smith, by way of explanation. Whilo ho was speaking n butterfly Blighted in one. Qulckor than thought tho jaws closed and tho butterfly was a pr sonor. "How long will that butterfly re main n prisoner?" asked tho ro porter. "Two or thrco days. B that tlmo tho flowers will havo derived all tho benefit and good the 11 possassos, and ita jaws will open and tho fly bo cast out It is my belief that tho flowor obtains sustenanco from tho prlsonors it, takos. Sometimes it gots hold of tho wrong kind of food, however, and it gets dyspepsia. This conclusion is, reached from tho effect of tho food on the leaves. Now this cell caught tho head of a blue-bottle fly a couple of days ago and got tho dyspepsia, as you can see by its color. The roporter looked and saw a sick ly combination of groan and yellow marklings on tho leaves, and tho doad fly still bolweou them. Washington Star. Ingenious Joseph Howard. Josoph Howard, of this town, has given us a now and, as hu say, n most useful hint in tbo nrt of hitching hors es. Iustoad of the usual head-nnd-neck halter, ho carries in tho wagou a short pieco of half-Inch cord, looped. When ho wishes to leavo his horso tins cord is used to tlo tho forelegs to gether just boiow tho kuoes, and whon bo tied you are always sure to find your horso whoro you left lira. Uho horse doescn't dure move; the cord is easily adjusted, and tho case often oc curs that you wish to hitch a horse where no post is found, as in a haying field or city street. Besides it soon teaches tho horse to stand without being h tchod at alL Kuintbic'i (Me.) Journal. THE EYEGLASS FIENDS AGAIN. Their 8ucces In Swindling the Tlon eit Farmer nnd Ulvlnit Ulin Glasses for Dollar. - Tbo rural districts havo onco moro bo como tho Mocca of tho swindling ."eyeglass" fiond. Ho is now going ing through Columbia county and is praotislng his novel swlndlo upon tho honost farmers with groat profit. Ap a rulo ho travels in pairs; that is thero is "two of him." Tho swindlers aro woll dressed and havo engaging man nors and an attractive appoarance. Tholr plan of work is to call at the bousos of woll-to-do-porsons undor tho protonoo of Inquiring about purchasing proporty in tho neighborhood In noarly ovory caso thoy soloct such fam ilies as havo a mo tuber who is suffering from diseases of tho oyo. This mat tor, of courso, comes up incidontally and is followed by ono of the men ro forring to tho othor as ono of the most eminent oculists of this city, nnd ho addrossos him by tbo namo of Now York's most omlnont spoalnllsts In this lino. Tho result Is that tho afflicted porson is anxious to havo tho groat man's opinion. Tho "professor" Is re luctant to pass nny opinion and says ho is taking a vnoatlon nnd is in tho placo intont only on purchasing n 6ummor houso. Entrcntlos follow, and, after an examination, tho allcgod oyo spec ialist recommonds tho uso of a spec ial kind of oyo glass and loavos, giv ing tho addross of tho firm from ivJioui thoso glasses can bo procured. Tho addrosB is always that of a confedor ato and is novor tho samo twico in suc cession. Tho confedcrato gots an or dor and sonds tbo glassos G. O. D., whon tho ordor is not accompanied by tho monor, and chargos all tho way from $25 to $10 for thorn in accordanco with tho instructions rocolvod from his travoling partners. Wiion tho farmor gots tho glasses ho finds thoy aro tho kind that aro sold on tho Bowory for fifteen conts. Two of thoso swindlers woro in Clavorack recently and noarly oamo to griof by protending to bo Dr. Agnow, who died somo timo ago. Thoy got out of tho trouble, however, by saying that Dr. Agnow who died was not tho colobratod oyo doctor but a gonoral practittouor, and sold a Mr. Forbes a pair of classes for $30.- New York Mail and Express. Why the Train Ran Blow. A man was ono day making a trip on a "mixod train" on n Dakota road. Fassago on thoso trains Is never taken oxcopt for journoys of consldorablq longth; walking is as easy and much faster for short distances. On this oc casion tho movoment was ovon moro doliboruto tliau usual, and tho passon gor callod tho conductor to bis scat and said: "Isn't this motion pretty slow?" "Well, wo ulu't flying, I'll admit." "Suro ovorythlng is all rightP" "I think so." "Whools all greased? "Yes, I greasod them myso If," "Tiros' all on?" "Yos, wo run through tho creek back horo nnd soaked up tho whools s o that thoy would stay." "Any spokes loosoP" "No," "You aro certuin tho wheo Is aro all on tho railsP ' "Thoy was when I camo in." "Couldn't bo possiblo that any of thorn aro off and tho axle dragging, coul" 1?" I guess not." "Aro wo going up hillP" "No, this is protty m'd'lln' lovol," "Do you always run at this gatoP'' "No, wo generally bum along a littlo faster' n this." "May I ask what is tbo trouble?" "Certainly. Wo found n lino two-year-old steer stuok in a trestlo back hero, beforo you got on, and stopped and holpod it out. You know tho rules of tho road aro that in such casos tho animal belongs to the company." "But I don't soo why that should yon mako run so thundering slow." 'Why, you blamo fool, wo'ro takin' that steor along to heudquarters; got it tied on bobiud, nud it ain't used to leadin' and don't walk up vory well. I'm doinjr all I cau; got tho brakeman prodding it up with nn umbroll' and an ear of corn tiod to the and of tho boll rope. If you think I m goiu' to sturt up and go liowliii' along and yank tbo horn off as good u stoer as thero is in tho territory, why you'ro mistaken, that's nil. U train tuon o in' t expect our pay unlaw wo bring hi somo stock onco In awhile. " Tcxnt Silings. Eleotricity for Writer's Paraly sis. In ono of tho broad windows of tho recording department of the office of James Bond, clerk of tho superior court, is a small olectrio battery. It is usod by tho ro cord on for tho relief of tho cramp of tho muscles of the hand which follows loug-continuod and stoady uso of tho pen. Tho robot is Instantaneous, and clerks who former ly were compelled at times to stop work for several days on account of swelling and contraction of tho muscles of tho hand, now take n few gentle shocks of tho olootrlo current on tho slightest approach of stiffness. They return to work at onco, entirely rellevod, and continue without incon venience. Noarly ovory one of tho score of clerks receive benefit from tho olootrlo curront, and the battery is re garded as an indispensable fixture of the office. BaUimore Sun. Soven Soenos Which Tell of tho Life of a Woman. A woo mother Is carefully putting her favorlto doll to bod. With lender solicltudo sho romovos each dainty gar ment and fastens on tbo tiny night gown. Then with a fond kiss, sho hugs hor troasuro to her and places it in its llttlo cradle. After patting it for a momont gently, sho tiptoos out of tho room as tho twilight poops curious ly into it A fair maiden stands beforo hor looking-glass adding tho last touches to hor evening tollot Hor lovor will soon bo hero! Hor eyes aro full of innocont lovo light! Sho looks eagerly at hor reflection in tho glass! How glad sho is that sho is prottyl Sho frowns a llttlo at a crimp that will not stay just as it should. A ring comos at tho door, nnd ,sho hastens away in tho gathering twilight to moot hor be lovod. A young wife sits anxiously watching for hor husband. At onch approaching footstep hor hoart beats rapturously and then grows heavy with disappoint montl Site will not go indoors it is so swoot out thcrel Tho creeping shadows cheer hor trembling soul so sho wa ts and wishos and tho shadows longtbou Into darkened night A mothor is rocking hor baby to sloop. Ho looks at hor gravoly whilo thoy movo to an fro, as If asking why tho bright sunshlno must loavo and tho ugly shadows hldo hor dear faco from him. Thero is a woalth of wisdom in his groat swcot oyc9l Ho holds tightly to hor dross as If to koop hor near hlml Whon at last his oyos aro closed, sho disongagos tho loving hand, klssos him lightly ho must not bo nwnkenod and arisos to put him into his crib. Then sho sinks back Into her cbnlr and bogins to rock him agtun. It is so pleasant to rost lu tho Twilight and ho is so sweet to nurso! A woman kneels by a fresh-mado gravo. Tho hoadboard staros coldly at hor and sooms to say ovor and ovor again tho words inscribed upon it: "Ho was hor only child and sho was n widow." With toar-ladoncd oyos sho bonds down lowor nnd lower, till hor lips rost upon tho earth. Sho longs so to kiss tho quiet form it is hiding from horl And tho twiight scorns to hurry past hor and gladly loso Itsolf in tho darkness. A caro-worn old woman sits watch ing tho shadows como thoy aro f rionds to her friends that sho wolcomos for thoy always sing tho samo song to her, "Ono day nearer homo." And ns sho smilos to them hor than ksshe, too, ro pouts, Ono day nearer homo." And so llfo woman's life goes on In tho tw light till rost comes to hor weary body and joy to her waiting heart till hor spirit reaches its homo, whoro never a shadow can fall upon it New Orleans Picayune. Traits of the Bloodhound. Thorc's a groat deal of nonsense in tho northornor's abhorronco of the bloodhound." said a southorn gentle man, "llo's not at all a forocious ani mal There is really uo difference bo twoen him and tho fox, stag, or other bounds, save in training. "Tho true bloodhound, tho old southorn hound, is tho Talbot. Tho hound of that brcod is tall and largo, larger than the fox hound, broad chost od, and ultors a doop bay. Ho has a good, what might bo callod a dignified faco. Ho' s tremendously slow in tho chaso (ovon a good walker can koop up with him if tho ruu is long), but bis scont is something wonderful. He'll follow a trail twolvo or fourteou hours' old, and through herd nftor herd of animals liko tho ono no's aftor. "But if blood of somo other animal is-spilled across tho trail, thou he's gono; the blood confusos him and throws him oft It is from this, nnd tbo fact that ho will follow a wounded animal as accurately by the blood as tho traok, that ho gets bis namo, not from any peculiar ferocity. "The Talbot usod to bo trained on tho English and Scottish borders to pursue cutllo thieves and othor marauders. Thoso slouthhounds, as thoy woro callod thero. aro still kopt in somo of tbo big deer parks in the north of England. Thoro Is a dog in the south callod tho Cuban bloodhound that was some times employod in hunting down slaves, and is, porhups, found among the packs usod in following escaped con victs. It is not a bloodhound, how ovor, but a cross of mastiff and bull dog. Its scouting is poor bosido that of tho true bloodhound; it is good for nothing but to hunt men, and is fierce and bloodthirsty. Tho Spaniards trained It in the first placo to hunt In dians, and afterwards followod runa way slaves with it It has stolon tho bloodhounds' numo and given thorn its reputation. "Tho big Russian grayhound, which has a cross of bull dog, cau bo taught to follow men liko a bloodhouud." Sew l'ork 'felt gram. The Signal Service Discounted. Tho Piules dance to bring on rain. Holding a Sunday school picnic has the samo effect littsburg Chronicle. Why women kits women no one hu ever yet Leeo able to determine, but it ia gener ally agreed, we bellere, tbat men kits women bocauta the vromea want them to. Atom ultU fturna'.. LEAVING THE HOUSE Interestlna Exnorlonco or London CnroTnlccr nnd n Pncntc-Tlilcr. Thore is a class of old, or oldish, wo men in London Mho mako a profes sion of taking chargo of housos during tho nbsonco of tholr pro prietors, says Casselfs Magazine. Mrs. Blogglnst tho occasional charwoman, is ono of this class, and is always at call, bolng only too glad to givo up 'her two or throo, days n woek obaring for tho cortalnttos of a "honso to mind," which at any rate, Is good for bad and board and firing, nnd a fow weekly shillings to boot But though Mrs. Blogglus bus soon so much of tho world, sho has, unforlunntoly, fuilcd to fathom its illusions, nnd is not quito a sharp onougb guardian to proporty in thoso ovlt days. Last autumn Mr. Sorvawrlt, tho law yer, migratod with bis family to tho soasido, loavIngMrs. Bloggins in high-ly-satisiicd possession of his hnndsomo rosidonco, with nothing for tho old damo to do but to answor calls and forward lotters. All wont well for a timo; but ouo fino morn ng comes a rat-tat-tat at tho door, announcing tho arrival of a magnificently drossod eou tlomun in patont leathers and lavender kid glovos,hot with bastoand urgency, to consult with Mr. Sorvawrlt on busi ness of momonlous import. "Not at home, my good woman? Nonsonso! I toll you I must soo hlml" "I bog your honor's pardon, I'm suro. sir; but all tho family Is agono into tho country." "Doar mo! dour moi Toll mo where will a lottor roach him?" "This hero's tho placo, sir" handing him a card with tho soasido addross. "I must writo to him this instant Show mo whoro I can writo not a moment must bo lost Quick, my good woman! quick, for goodness sake!" "This way, if you please, sir;" and Mrs. Bloggins shows tho gorgoous stranger into tho back dinning-room and seats him at Mrs. Servawrlt's handsome dovoport wiioro nro abundant writing matorials; and to bIiow her manners, thore sho leaves him to transact his correspond ence. If 'ho could havo soon how effectu ally with a small implomont produced from his vest pocket ho fastened tho door nftor hor und how deftly ho open od, clonrod out and roclosod tho chof fonier containing tho plate, stowing tho lattor in his legion of pockots, sho would havo swooned away on tho spot Next bo writes a note, lots himself out Into tho hall, hands tho note and a shilling (a counterfeit) to tho damo, expects a promiso that sho will post tho missivo right ahay and gradually stalks away. Mr. Sorvawrlt gots tho important lottor noxt day: "Deau Sin:" it tuns, "I can but compiimout you on tho good tasto you havo shown in tho selection of your plato. I was nlwavs pavtial to tho fiddlo patterned articles, and when elegantly chased as yours are. thoy are doubly welcome. Tbo fish slices nnd tho gravv spoons aro substantial and to my liking. Tho toddy ladles are really unique. I approve also of tho spado guinea at tbo bottom of tho punch bowl, which last-naraod article I shall preserve in remembranco of my brief sojourn under your roof. Yours (thoy were, mlno they are;, Got 'Em.' And tliUM, adding insult to injury, was Mr. Sorvawrlt enligiitoned as to the hazards of leaving homo. Italian Etiquette. No ono gots vory Intimato with tho Italians. Thoy nro vory warm-hearted, sociable and easy up to n certain point; there it ceases. Tho young dip lomats who llvo in Romo notice tliis; ulthough they huvo lost '.heir cus toms nnd one of thoso is a certain ro pollant ntniospboro where extreme in timacy Is oxpoctod. Thero is in Romo tbo moro's tho pity a slow vanish ing of the picturesque; but, although a Roman princess ma.- wear a modern gown nud retain nothing of tho past but her splendid jowels, sho is tho samo proud lady that sho was, or that hor great-graudmothor was. and sho liko her, ropols intimacy or familiarity beyond a cortaiu point Ono very Im portant point is that thoy never wish to be touched. In our country a lady talking with anothor will ofton lay hor baud on her friend's arm; this is con sidered a very groat and objcotionnblo familiarity by tho Italian. "Never touch tho person; it is sacred," is au Italian proverb. A lady in Italian so ciety, to bo very pollto, will shako hands whon introduced to an Ameri can tho first time, but sho rarely ox tonds hor hand tho second timo, sho makes a doep nnd gracoful courtesy. It bur friend is in affliction, sho comos, takos her hand and presses it to her hoart; but thore is nothing of tiio free, easy, caressing, none of that iutimato kissing, nothing liko tiio super ficial iutimacy which wo obsorvo be tween American women. A Mark of Respeotibllity. "I believo 1 shall shuvo off my mus tache." "Ob. don't!" "Aud why notP It troubles mo a good deal, and it would bo a groat ro lief to get rid of it this warm weath er." "See hero! Do you want to bo tak en for a ball player or au actor?" Lowell Courier. A Cheerless Pastim?. Waiting for tho fish that bito other people's hooks is what wearies. Milwaukee Joum ' A. Lieutenant's Story. It Is a somowhat raro thing to como across n good story tcllor in this world ono who knows how to ombolliah his yarn just enough and yot not to doloy tho point too long. If thoro evor was a good hand at this sort of thing Lloutonnnt Walsh, of tho signal sorvico corps, is that ouo. This morn ing ho wns in a fino mood, and told tho following thrilling story of advon turos in tho far southwost: "Sovoral yoars ago I was inspecting stations in tho wost I had just nr rive.d at a littlo station out in tho di rectionit doosn't matter where. Wo had como across tho alkali dosort, nnd my throat and ores woro fillod with tho dust. I had to send my clothos out to bo boaton just liko a carpot Thoy woro perfootly whlto. "Aftor 1 look a bath and got drcss od I folt hotter, and decided to walk down to tho signal station. This was In tho morning. Tho man 1 found in chargo was n big, raw-boned follow, over sixfoet high, with as villainous a countonanco as ovor you laid oyes on. Somohow or othor I took a d sliko to him from tho first look I gavo him. Well, I wont Into tho office and over looked things. It is usually tho cus tom to oxam no all tho proporty in tho stororoom also. I wont into It, tho man keening with mo all tho timo. It was a small room, about tho slza of a largo closet Thero woro a lot of box es in it. I looked into somo of them. In shov.ug thorn around I saw ono un dor thorn all. I looked at it, but this follow wo' 11 call him Thompson said, That is my personal property.' Thero was ono tiling about it that I noticed at tho tho timo and that for Bomo reason stuck, in my ho'ad and probably was working thore all tho timo, although I did not know it. "This box, whicli was pilod away nndor all tho others and all covorod with cobwobs and dirt had a now screw drivon into It aud tho scrow had brokon off a slivor of wood which look ed quito fresh. 1 noticed it at tho timo, but thought nothing of it "I wont to tho hotel for my dinnor. At the tablo a man sat next to mo who attractod mv attention right away. Ho was drossod liko a cattleman and bad all tho rough ways of this class, but somohow or othor ho impressod mo as a man who was not wearing his own clothos, so to speak. It was only a slight improssion, but it grow on mo as I observed him. Ho soomod nnxous to talk and opened u conversation with mo. " Tondorfoot?' ho inquired. "I d dn't liko his looks at all and tho impudence of his manner mado mo answer him vory shortly with a plain " 'No.' " Gunning?' No.' " Thought 1 saw a gun on your shoulder this morning?' ' -Not much.' "Fishing-rod, then?' " 'Nor fishing-rod. either.' Purspoctln'?" " 'Inspecting.' " 'What might a tondorfoot liko you bo it doing out horo inspectin'?' ' 'What Is that your business, sir? Anil who told you that I was a tender foot?' said I. I was out hero on thoso plains before you woro born, as it is plain enough to suo from tho way you wear jour disguise.' 'At this last word bo colored up and soon after loft tho table. A gentleman on tho other Aide of mo said: " -Who is that follow?' "I haven't the ghost of an idoa,' said L " ! think bo's n stranger in town,' he said, after a moment 'There have been a good many burglaries horo late ly, and wo huvo watched strangers pretty closely.' " 'Nothing moro wns said, nnd nftor dinner I went down to tho signal office. 1 noticed that Thompson did not huvo on a uniform. So I nskad him: ' 'Where's your uniform?' 'Haven't any.' ho sa d. This madu mo regard him with still moro suspicion. Ho had to take an nfternooi observation nud telegraph it into Washington. Aftor ho took It ho said: 'I'll go dewn to the tolograph oflico with this.' 'How long will you bo gone?' "About au hour.' 'Woll.' said I. I'll wnit horo until you roturn, as I havo somo writing to do.' "He wont out nnd somohow or oili er I began to wondor what was in that box that looked ns though it were newly screwed up, and yet was hid den uway under all tho others. Tho idea of looking into it grow upon mo until I decided to unscrew the lid. I went into tho closet and pulled it out I soon hud all tho screws out and lift ed tho lid off. You could have knock ed mo down with a featbor. It was fillod to tho brim witli sllvorwaro spoons, knives, forks, etc. The rascal bad been disguising tho burglar undor tho signal sorvico oilicor. "1 began to put the lid on again, aud had just finished putting in tho last crow when I hoard a step besido ma I turned quick as a flash. Thompson had returned and tho carpet had dead ened tho sound of Ids footsteps. Ho was stunding just behind me with a revolver pointed at my bead. I nover thought what 1 was doing so far as I know, but by a sort of reflex action of tho musclos 1 knocked tho rovolvor up with tho scrow drlvor I had in my hnnd. It wont off against tho coil.ng. and wo closed for a llfo and doath struggle -Thompson was taller than I and moro powerful. I was and always havo boon short-winded. It is all right with mo for a minuto or so. but thon I am plnyod out Back and forth wo wrostlod, nnd ho was boginnlng to got tho bost of mo whon I thought of tbo old trlok at wrostling taught mo at Trinity collogo, Dublin. 1 folt for his collar bono with my chiu. I found it and down ho wont "All this tlmo. thoy told mo aftor wards, I had boon yelling murder nnd pollco loud enough to wuko tho wholo town. Just as Thompson foil In dash ed i y fresh friend at tho diuner tablo. An accompllco of Thompson's? Oh, no a Chicago detective, who had tho signal ofllcor In his bracelets quick as a flash. . Thompson got fivo yoars in tho penitentiary, and I got a dinnor from tho prom nont citizens of tho to wu. " Exchange. The Shak3pearean Negress. Hurrv Korneil tells a story about his recent trip south, says tho Now York " mm. Ho was nt dinnor in a Miss issippi hotoi when ho suddenly dis covered that ho was being waited up on by n tall, majostic, and romarkably line-looking colored girl. Sho was autocratic oxclusivo and supercilious to a remarkable oxtont. but finally Mr. Korneil succoodod in winning hor con fidonco and thoy startod in to convorso. "Wouldn't you liko to como over to tbo theater to-night?" said tho actor, putting somo moro sugar in his coffoo and reaching for tho corn broad. "Vnoty show, isn't it?" "Woll, yes." said Mr. Kornoll, I bo llovo SO." "No. snh," said tho girl, sedately." "Don' caro for v'rioty shows. Doy bore mo." "What sort of shows do you like?'' "Well, I can't say 1 caro much for thoators, anyhow. Seems mighty silly fob pooplo to run around tho stago trying to mako tliomsolvos boliovo they're fuuuy." "I should think Mary Anderson might please you, thon?" "No, sir; don't caro fob Miss Ander son. Sho looks too much liko a sycamoro tree liko a sycamoro trco wavln' Ms long limbs In tho winter time" "Do you liko Oliver Doud Byron?" "No, sab; ho bores me, too. Ho's ono of thoso wrotched creatures that thinks it's funny to shoot off guns and things on tho stage. No, I don't caro for M stcr Byron." "What do 7ou think of Fanny Davenport?" "Miss Davenport" said tho wait ress, languidly, "woarlcs mo, too. Sho always has somo wrotched lovor that she i3 trying to dio for iter on tho stage. The fact is, as I said befoh, pin actors boro mo; but when ono of Mister William Shakspoaro's plays comes along horo thoy have to uha n mo to tho ilo'." Mrs. O'Raherty Visits the Cir cus. "Good Monday moniin' to ye, Mrs. O'Rahorty. I hear jo was at tho circus yiste'day." "I wus, Mrs. O'Flnhcrity. And all the animals tiiat woro in tho ark woro there. But tho moukoys! Thoy took tho cako, they did. I did often hoar Mary Ann rnidin' about man coniiu from the moonkoys, but I did nivor belavo it until yisto'duy. I saw nil owld alio moonkoy, which I supposo must have como from tho owld sod, for 1 nivor saw any wan' that lookod moro loiko yo yorsllf, Mrs. 0'Flnher ty." "Liko moi A moonkoy lookin' loiko mo! I nivor hud n grouter iusoolt of fered in e, Mrs. O'Raheriy." "Faith uu' if yo had soou tho owld lady yo wouldn't take it for an iusoolt ut all at all, for siio is rule good, lookin', wid very beautiful teoth very much ixposed loiko yer own, an' if she had yer owld shawl and bonnet on tho very ilivil himself couldn't toil hor from yo." "Indado, Mrs, O'Rihorty, it'll bo shtroikln' ye I will if 1 shiny hero much longer, so to save trouble I'll go in, I will." "Do ns yo loiko, Mrs. O'Flahorty, nn' I" lido tho sumo, but I'll alwuys shticktoit that that owld moonkoy lookod moro loiko yo than any wan I ivor did soo." Kentucky Stale Journ al. An Incurable Blindness. Charity is a paradox to tho covetous. Tell n miser of bounty to a friend or mercy to tho poor, und point him out his duty, with evidoncn as bright und piercing as tho light, yot ho will not understand it. Ho shuts bis oyes us close as his hands. In both casos thero Is nn incurablo blindness, caused by a resolution not to see; and. to all intents aud purposos, ho who will not open his oyos Is, for tho tlmo being, as blind as ho who can not. A Pathetic Appeal. Spinster (to bird fancier) Havo you a parrot sir. whose lifo has boon quiet nnd uneventful and whoso choice of English is something above tho aver age? Dealer Yos, ma'am, I havo just tho bird you'ro looking Parrot (Imploringly) For gawd's sake, boss, dou't let mo go. Life. r
