-i
j
A Romancejn. Real Life.
By James Otis
11 Robert Myron woa tlio son of nn
English tenant-farmer, who in tho
your 1848 found his family expenses
increasing so much fustcr than his
income that it was absolutely nec
essary to decrease the former, since
the latter could not be made longer.
In tho hope of being able to assist
hi father in some way, Robert came
tothis country, and, failing to find
employment near the metropolis,
wn ked from town to town until when
net r Rochester, New York, ho was
nurd as a farm laborer by Judge
James E. Berry. During six years
yoijng Myron worked industriously,
sending nearly nil of his earnings to
his parents, and then came the sad
news that both father and mother
hud died on the sninc day. After re
covering from this shock it wns but
natural the young man should begin
to think of establishing n home for
himself, nnd quite as natural that
his love should go out to the daugh
ter of his employer, who plainly
showed her preference for the young
man who had bo devoted himself td
his parents. But Judge Berry, while
ho recognized in Myron an invaluable
farm laborer, had not the same views
regarding him as u son-iu-luw that
Miss Bessie had, and the consequence
was that the lovers, finding it impos
sible to change tho father's opinion,
resolved to elope, and build up for
themselves a home in the far West.
In 1885, with but a few hundred
dollars and tho judge's curse, the
young couple were married and set
tled at Green Lake, Michigan, where,
at the beginning, of tho year 18G2,
they were in reasonably prosperous
circumstances, with two children to
make glad their humble log cabin.
Their farm was situated several miles
from un' settlement, und although
tho Indiuns were rising against the
whites in many portions of the State,
neither Mr. nor Mrs. Myron felt any
uneasiness, because they believed
they had succeeded in establishing
the most friendly relations with such
of tho "forest children" as they cume
in contact with. Therefore they were
by no means alarmed when one day
fivo Indians stalked gruvcly into the
cabin, just as the noonday meal was
served. It had ever been Mr. Myron's
custom to invite such visitors to pur
take of food, nnd on this, ns.'on other
occasions, they readily accepted the
invitution; but grently to tho sur
prise and unensiness of their host, in
stead of plncingtheir rifles in one cor
ner of tho room, as usual, they held
them between their knees, the muzzles
of the weupons showing just nbove
tho edge of the table.
Mr. Myron was too well versed in
Indinn customs not to know that
such action on the part of his guests
meunt mischief. With the view of
showing them that he understood
the meaning of this breach of hos
pitality, nnd in tho slight hope of in
timidnting them, he arose from the
table, took from the rack on tho wall
his rifio and fowling piece, nnd care
fully examined them to show they
were loaded. Why the suvuges did
not attack him then is one of tho in
explicable things in Indian warfare.
Instend of making nny hostile
demonstrations, they stnlked gravely
out of the house, disappearing be
hind a clump of bushes.
For the moment Myron believed he
had wronged his guests nnd thnt
they had taken umbrage at his
movements when their intentions
were peaceful. Still holding his rifle
in his hnnd Myron stopped to the
open door for the purpose of ascer
taining whether his guests had really
departed. When the farmer appeared
on the threshold the report of a riflo
was heard, und Myron fell, with a
dnngerous but not necessurily fatal
wound in his side.
Women who ljvo on tho border,
where they uro constantly menaced
by danger, learn early in life that they
must deny themselves woman's privi
lege of fainting. When Mr. Myron
fell, his wife sprang to his defense
rather than assistance. To close nnd
bavricudo windows and doors was
but tho work of a moment where
everything was prepared for
such ocensions, nnd then the
heroic woman turned her at
tention to her husband und children.
The father's wound bled but little,
and save to stanch tho blood, the de
voted wifo could not aid him, except
by piling tho bedding around him in
such a way that, in a sitting posture,
he could fnco tho closed door. Tho
temporary safety of tho children wns
secured by fastening them in tho cel
Inr, rhere they would be beyond tho
read of any bullets their late visitors
might send, and after she had per
fected their plan of defence she began
to assume tho offensive.
By removing tho mud that filled
tho crevices of tho logs at tho end of
tho house loop-holes were formed,
and through these the husband and
wifo began an assnult upon their foes.
With his riflo Myron Bhot one of tho
Indians, and ut the same timohis wifo
killed another with the fowling piece.
By this time tho foe, finding their in
tended victims more tenacious of lifo
thnn they hud supposed, resorted to
stratagem to accomplish tho massa
cre, lii tho field was a curt hnlf filled
with hay; in the stable yard stood u
yoko of oxen quietly eating. To
fasten the animals to the. curt und
notexposo themselves tofthe dendly
aim of those in the house vSig uccom-
plished. To get tho lond of hay
against tho building, thnt it might
be set on lire, was still more difficult,
nnd in this case unsuccessful, for be
fore it could be done both itusbnnd
nnd wife had shot un enemy, while
the fifth nnd only remaining one
sought safety in precipitato flight.
Each moment tho conflict lusted
the husband grow weaker, und medi
cnl uid could not bo procured with
out a journey of 180 miles. To
traverse this distance there woh no
other conveyance thnn tho oxcart.
In this rude vehicle Mrs. Myron
plnccd her husband und child
dren, and not onco during
that tedious journey, mndn painful
by the suffering of tho mutt for whom
she had braved the (lungers nnd dis
comforts of n frontier life, wns a halt
made.
At St. Cloud surgical aid was pro
cured, nnd there, after Mr. Myron's
recovery, ho sought work of any
kind that would bring in sufficient
for the support of his family, since
tho depreciations of the Indians hud
impoverished him. It wns only by
tho greatest exertions thnt Mr. My
ron could keep his family from actual
want; nnd hearing thothiborerswcre
in grenterdemnnd at Cape Girodonu,
he, with his wifo and children, em
barked on the st earner Tidal "Wave
for that place, after having remained
ut tt. i loud nearly a year.
Tho voyage was never completed,
however, for when Tower Grove, Mis
souri, wns reached, a fire broke out
on the ill-fated steamer, nnd in a
very short time she wns burned to
tho water's edge. The loss of life was
considerable, and among the missing
ones wore the two Myron children.
For the second time Robert Myron
wns homeless nnd penniless, with his
sufferings intensified by tho loss of his
children, l'erhnps it was fortunate
for him that he wns obliged to work
very hard simply to keep the wolf
from the door, for it prevented him
from brooding over his misfortunes,
us even u stronger man might have
done.
During tho two years that elapsed
after the burning of tho Tide
Wave, Robert Mryon labored
industriously, but without success,
so far as the nccutmilntiou of world
ly goods was concerned; ho had been
nble to pay the rent of a rudo cabin
three miles fiom the village of Tower
Hill, und to furnish it scuntily. But
the expenses attendent upon the
birth of two children, nnd his own
severe illness, during which ho was
confined to his bed two months, hud
exhausted the smnll fund ho hud suc
ceeded in paving to enable him to
remove to Cape Girardeau.
Then came a time when he could
no longer find employment near his
wretched home, and lie sought it
some miles up tho river, going nnd
returning each day in a small bout.
Even when it appeared that mis
fortunes was not wearied with pur
suing him, for one night when re
turning from his work, a storm camo
up, which overturned his frail skiff,
und, nearly exhausted, he was thrown
upon n narrow bar of sand thnt
mndu out from a bank of the river
at the spot where the Tidal Wave
wns burned. On this frail nnd
treacherous foothold he managed to
remain during the night, in full sight
of the town, but unable to attract
attention to his desperate condition.
The dawn of day revenled still more
horrors, for close beside him, having
evidently been unearthed by tho
waves, was a skeleton of u human
being. At first Myron felt that fear
which seems to bo natural in mini
when lie sees the deserted tenement of
one of his kind; but the resting-pfneo
which the waves gave to the living
und the dead was so small thnt ho
wns obliged to remuin utmost in ue
tunl contact with tho yellow bones.
As ho sut by the skeleton waiting for
help from the shore, which seemed so
tardy in coming, ho saw about the
ribs of the fieshless frame a leather
belt. Curiosity overcame his terror,
and, unfastening tho belt, ho found
within it gold coin to the amount o"
S.kOOO.
Thnt Robert Myron wns in n fever
of excitement hardly needs to be told.
He hud struggled to the full strength
of man ninny years, nnd was hardly
more thnn n pauper when ho should
have had at least a spot of God's
footstool ho could call his own. The
dead hud brought himwhnt theliving
had refused. To take tho gold for
his own purposes seemed a theft, nnd
yet he wlio laid fastened it about his
body could no longer uso it. The
struggle between his conscience
nnd his necessity wns u long one; but
when those who cume to rescue him
arrived at the sand bar they found
liiin with a skeleton on which nothing
could be seen, nnd no ono could hnvo
fancied that tho hulf-drowned man
hud found n treasure. Thntthe bones
were those of one of the pnsengcrsof
the Tidal Wave, no ono doubted, and
they were given n resting-plnce
among the nameless graves of those
who hud lost their lives in the disas
ter. No ono save Robert Myron nnd
bis wife knew of tho money-belt, or
that on the inside of it, cut deep in
tho thick leather, was tho mime
"Henry Parks."
But Myron, huvingthis money, did
not dare to uso it openly lest people
should question how he got it. He
hud agreed with his wife that they
should use tho gold for their own
benefit, but do it with tho view of re
turning it if they should over find the
dead man's heirs. This ho hoped to
do by making such investments us
could bo readily realized upon, so
t hut they might show themselves to
be good, oven if self-elected, stewards.
The cubin they lived in, nnd tho
five acres oflaud surrounding it, wns
for snlo ut a price below its real val
ue. Myron represented to tho owner
that, despite appearances, no had
succeeded In saving a smnll amount
of money about half tho price asked
and offered to buy it if his noto
would be accepted for tho buloiue.
The bargain was made, and Myron
still continued to work by the tiny
for nny one who would hire him, till
ing his own farm when he could find
no otlier work. Then ho invested in
u very smnll way in stock, buying
when ho could get decided bargains
only. Your by year he added to his
possessions, and his neighbors culled
him a "thrifty" man.
All his investments weregood ones,
Binco none were made save with the
view of converting everything into
cash at a moment's notico if neces
sary, and Robert Myron became u
wealthy man. As is usual, with
wealth enmc tho respect of his neigh
bors, who, to show their appreciation
of money, elected him to the ofllco of
county judge.
During tho yenr 1870 tho inhabit
ants of Tower Hill witnessed tho de
struction of another steamer by flro
at almost the exnet plnco whero the
Tidal Wuve went down. Among
those men who lnbored to buvo life
none wns moro active than Robert
Myron, nnd his house wns converter,
into a hospital for tho reception of
those who wero injured, but saved
from death.
Mrs. Myron Wns as earnest in her
efforts to comfort the distressed peo
ple ns wns tier nuslmiul, una nor la
bor wns signally rewarded by finding
ninongthe unfortunate ones whom
she wns nursing her father, whom she
she hud not heard fromsinco the day
sho left his homo to found unother
with tho man she loved above nil oth
ers. The daughters heart was made
still more glad when the old gentle
man told her nnd her husband that
he hud been searching for them
severnl months in the hopo of induc
ing them to return to his lonely
home, or allow him to remain with
them.
Then he told n strange story, nnd
ono which lifted a load thnt hud
grown henvier with each succeeding
yenr from his sou-in-laws henrt.
In 18G1, Mrs. Myron's aunt hud
died, bequenting to her niece tho sum
of five thousand dollars. Judge
Berry, hnlf relenting thnt ho hud not
looked with favor upon his daughter's
marriage, had sent his clerk to curry
to her this legacy. The messenger
hud written to liis employer from
St. Cloud in 18G2, stating" that he
hud traced Mr. nnd Mrs. Myron to
that place, but from there they had
gone, ns ho hud reason to believe, to
Cape Girardeau, which plnce he wns
about to start for in the steuiner
Tidule Wave. From thnt time Mr.
Berry hud never heard from his clerk,
nnd he believed ho hud lost his life
when the steamer was burned.
As tho old gentleman finished his
story, tho husband nnd wife gazed
at each other with nn almost despair
ing hope in theireyes.nnditwuH only
with tho greatest difficulty Judge
Myron could nsk tho question, "What
was the man's name?"
"Henry Purker."
Tho loud wns lifted for evermore;
the money which they believed avos
another's belonged rightfully to them;
the investments made with a view to
being nble to restoro the principnl at
any time insured their own prosper
ity, nnd by purloining their own from
tho dead they had honestly relieved
themselves from the thraldom of
poverty.
Yellow Fever Experiences.
From the Xew York Commercial Traveler.
"How is the fever usually treated?"
It isn't generally treated in nny par
ticular way. Every timo it breaks
out the doctors have to experiment,
under guidunce offormer experiences,
of course, until they find out wlint
treatment is best, for what answers
well in one outbreak frequently won't
nnswer at nil well in another. Some
times, us in Savaunah tho last time
the fever was there, dry quinine on the
tongue seems to nnswer best. Some
times otlier menus ure more effective.
Tho chnmpagno treatment is perhaps
moro generally effective thnn nny
other, but there is senrcely enough of
thnt costly medicine at command to
supply the need in un epidemic. Tho
lute Dr. Gabriel Disosway Ayres, of
Brooklyn, once told me that on ono
occusion he wns in u British West In
diu town when the fever whs present
there. He was traveling with a
friend nnd the two remained n week
on tho inland. Ono evening they
dined with a physicinn there, and
next morning learned that ho had
died during tho night with the fever.
"I thought it timo for men who hud
no business there to get away," said
Dr. Ayres, "and wo took ship tho
next ilny fur Havana. In the night
niA' friend wns seized with tho fover,
und I treated him with champagne
without saying anything about it to
alarm the passengers. When ho wns
out of dnnger I told tho cnptain,wiio
nt once nnd very impressively suid:
'If you let anybody in Havana know
that you poured champagne into n
man with yellow fever they'll hnng
you?' " The doctor inferred thnt the
champagne treatment, though a fa
vorite ono with Britisli physicians,
wns nt that time unknown iitnong
tho Spnnish. Curiously enough, I
believe nny other form of alcoholic
stimulation in yellow fever kills with
something of tho precision of u Rem
ington rifle, und, of course, men wlio
ure harddrinkers nro doomed if tliey
once get yellow fever. For thnt mut
ter such men nro doomed whonover
they got nny virulent diBenso, nnd
upon reflection I may say they ure
doomed anyhow.
Tale of the Selfish Giant.
Every afternoon, ns they welcom
ing from school, the children
used to go and play In tho Giant's
garden.
Ono day the (Hunt enmo buck. He
hud been to visit ids friend tho Cor
nish ogre, nnd hud stayed with him
for seven years. When ho arrived ho
saw the children playing in tho gnr
den. "What nro you doing there?" ho
cried in n very gruff voice, nnd tho
children run away.
"My own garden is my own gar
den," suid tho Ginnt; "anyone can
understand that, nnd I will allow no
body to piny in it but myself." So ho
built n high wall all around it and
put up n notice bourd;
"Trespassers will bo prosecuted."
He was u very selfish Ginnt.
The poor children hud nowhere to
piny. They tried to piny on the
road, but the road was very dusty
nnd full of hard stones, nnd they did
not like it. Then the spring came,
und nil over tho country there wero
little blossoms und little birds. Only
in the garden of the selfish Ginnt it
wns still winter. Tho birds did not
care to sing in it ns there wero no
children, und tho trees forgot to blos
som. Once a beautiful flower
put its bend out from tho grnss,
but when it biiw the notice
board it was so sorry for tho
children thnt it slipped buck into tho
ground again, und went off to sleep.
The only people who were pleased
wero the Snow nnd the Frost. "Spring
bus forgotten this gnrden," they
cried, "so wo will live hero all the
year round." The Snow covered up
tho grnss with her great whito clonk,
nnd the Frost painted all the trees
silver. Then they invited tho North
Wind to stay with them, und became.
He wns wrapped in furs, nnd ho roar
ed all day nbout the gnrden, nnd
blew tho chimney-tops down.
"I enn not understand why the
Spring is so lute in coming,'" suid
tho Selfish Ginnt, ns he sut at the
window nnd looked out ut his cold
white gnrden: "I hope there will boa
change in the weather."
But tho Spring never cume, nor the
Summer. The Autumn gnve golden
lruit to every gnrden, but the Giant's
gnrden she gave none. "He is too
selfish," sho said. So it wns always
Winter there, nnd the North Wind,
and the Huil, nnd the Frost, und the
Snow danced nbout through the trees.
Ono morning the Giant wns lying
awake in bed when he heard some
lovely music. It sounded so sweet
to his ear that he thought it must
be the King's musicians pnssing by.
It wns renlly only a littlo linnet sing
ing outride his window, but it wns so
long since ho hnd heard u bird sing
in his gnrden thnt it seemed to him
to be tho most beautiful music in the
world. Then the Huil stopped dnnce
ingover his bend, and tho North
Wind censed routing, nnd n delicious
perfume ennio to him through tho
open casemate. "I believe tho Spring
hiiscomont lust." suid tho Ginnt;
nnd ho jumped out of bed und looked
out.
What did he see?
Ho saw a most wonderful sight.
Through a little hole in the wall tho
children hud crept in, nnd they wero
sitting in the branches of the trees.
In every tree thnt he could see there
wns it little child. And the trees wero
so glud to have tho children back
ugiiin that they had covered them
selves with blossoms, nnd were wav
ing their nrms gently nbove the chil
dren's bends. The birds were flying
nbout twittering with delight, nnd
the llowers were looking up through
the green grass and laughing. It wns
u lovely scene, only in ono corner it
was still winter. It wus tho furthest
corner of tho garden, und in it was
standing a littlo boy. He wns so
smnll that he could not reach up to
the brnuches of the tree, and he wns
wandering nil round it, crying bitter
ly, i Ho poor tree wus st ill quite cov
ered with frost und snow, nnd the
North Wind wns blowing und roar
ing nbove it. "Climb up! littlo boy,"
said tho Tree, nnd it bent its brunches
down as low us it could; but the boy
wus too tiny.
And the Giant's henrt melted ns he
looked out. "How selfish I hnvo
been!" he suid; "nov 1 know why the
Spring would not come here. I will
put that poor little boy on thotop of
thetree, nnd 1 hen 1 will knockdown tho
wnll, and my gnrden shall bo thechil
dron's playground for ever nnd ever."
Ho was really very sorry for what ho
hud done.
So ho crept down stnirs nnd opened
the front door quite softly, und went
out into the gurden, But when tho
children saw him they wero so fright
ened thnt they all run away und tho
garden became Winter again. Only
the littlo boy did not run, for his eyes
were so full of tours that he did not
seo tho Ginntcoining. And tho Giant
stole up behind him nnd took him
gently in ids bund, nnd put him up
into the tree. And the treo broke nt
onco intoblossoin.nnd the birds came
nnd snug on it, und the little boy
stretched out his two nrms and flung
them around the Giant's neck, and
kissed him. And tho othor children,
when they saw tho Giant was not
wicked any longor.cunio running back,
nnd with them cniue the spring. "It
m .turn-gimii'ii now, inuo cuiKiren,
j suid the Giant, nnd he took n gtcut
! axe and knocked down the wall. And
I whon the jwoplo wore going to market
! at 12 o'clock tliey found tho Giant
I I''yi with tho children in thu most
beautiful garden they hnd over seen,
Alt tiny long they played, and in
tho evening tliey cntuo to the Ginnt
to bid him good-bye.
"But whero is your littlo compan
ion?" he said; "tho bov 1 put into
the tree." Tho Ginnt loved him tho
best because ho hud kissed him.
"Wo don't know," answered tho
children; "he bus gono away."
"You must toll him to bo sure and
ronio hero toiiiorrow,"saidtheGliint.
But the children suid they did not
know whero ho lived, und never Been
him before; nnd tho Ginnt felt very
sud.
ears wont over, nnd tho Ginnt
grow very old nnd feeble. He could
not piny nbout nny more, so he sut
in a. lingo nrinchnir ami watched the
children play at their games, nnd ad
mired ins garden. "1 have many
beautiful flowers," ho suid, "but tho
children nro tho most beuutlful llow
ers of all."
One winter morning ho looked out
of his window us he wus dressing. He
did not hate the winter now, for he
knew that it was merely tho Spring
asleep, and that tho flowers wero
resting.
Suddenly he rubbed his eyes in
wonder, nnd looked nnd looked. It
certainly was n nuirvelous sight. In
the fnrtheiest corner of tho gnrden
wns n tree quite covered with lovely
white blossoms. Its brnuches wero
all golden, nnd silver fruit hung
down from them, nnd underneath it
stood the little boy he hnd loved.
Downstnirs run tho Giant in great
joy, and out into tho garden.' He
hastened across tho grnss, nnd enmo
near to the child. And when ho came
quite close ids face grew red with
nnger, nnd ho Haiti: "Who hath
dnred to wound theo?" For on the
palms of the child's hands wero tho
prints of two nulls, and tho prints of
two nnils were on tho little feet.
"Who hnth dnred to wound thee?"
cried the Ginnt; "tell me, that I may
take my big sword nnd slay him."
"Nny!" nnswered the child; "but
these uro tho wounds of love."
"Who art thou?" said tho Ginnt,
nnd it strange awe fell on him, und he
knelt before the little child.
And the child smiled on tho Ginnt,
nnd snid to him; "You let me piny
onco in your gnrden, to-day you
shall como with me to my gnrden,
which is Paradise."
And when tho children rnn in that
afternoon thoy found the Ginnt lying
tlend under the tree, nil covered with
whito blossoms. Oscar Wilde.
t--Vm
111 n lintl Fix.
Ono hot day recently, snys tho New
York Sun, a young man wearing
side light whiskers, und n long,
crooked uose, betook himself to the
classic sands oi Isle tie Conic with the
sole intention of taking a plunge in
to tho outstrt cited nrms of old Fath
er Ocean. Having deposited a 125
cent pieco with tho mini who is not
HtitiBfiod with tho earth, but wants
to own tho ocenn, he received a bath
ing suit mnde of Kentucky jeans.
The suit hnd seen its best days, and
wns rapidly becoming bottomless
and very holey.
Tho long-nosed young mnn man
aged to hold tho suit together until
ho hnd buried himself in the surf.
Then lie took a littlo dive, swum un
der witter for u littlo distance, und
wiien his head reached tho surface
onco moro he found himself sur
rounded by u bevy of mermnids. He
felt something entangling his feet,
nnd reaching down he discovered thnt
oil, horrors! that tho lower part
of his suit hod dissolved partnership
with tho upper part. Ho wns in n
pretty fix. Summoning a friend ho
commissioned him to go ufter nnoth
er suit of Kentucky jenns. While
wniting for tho return of tho friend
the young man modestly swam out
beyond tho ropes and cume near be
ing drowned.
Tho friend returned with the new
suit and then begun a struggle with
tho waves that has never before been
equaled. The young man raised a
leg in order to incuse it in tho new
suit. A lienvy wave came along nnd
knocked him over. The spectators
tittered. Tho girls blushed nnd tho
action was repented. At Inst, nfter
nn hour of hard work, with the us
sistnnce of no less thnn twolvo per
sons, tho young swimmer mnnnged
to get into the new suit. The young
man wns very bashful nnd concluded
ho hnd enough of suit water bathing.
Once more lie stood upon the classic
sands of tho island inwardly hotting
himself HO cents thnt he'd never be
caught again in n suit of Coney Is
land Kentucky jenns.
Able to Rend in the Dark.
From the Indinnnioli .Vents.
"You hnvo hoard of men with cut's
eyes?' asked Federal Murshnl Haw
kins. "Well, this man Johnson, nlins Ed
wards, alias Brown, who wus released
under tho poor convict law
has u pair of that variety. They sny
un at tlio Penitentiary that he enn
rend in tliodurk und that his eyes a re
fairly luminous. Ono of tlio guards
said that Johnson, nlins Edwards,
alias Brown, could seo a guard
through u brick wall."
A curious fact revealed by tho
phoiiogmphor is thnt people goner
ally do not know their own voices.
The husband will recognize tlio wife's
voice in a phonograph, nnd the wife
will recognize the husband's, but
neither will recognize their own
speech. This must be mighty disap
pointing to the man who thinks him
self a sirvory-tonguod orator! Troy
A 1'oetlcnl Wife.
I wns writing busily ono morning
when n young friend of mine enmo in
nnd dropped into' a chair, with a
long, deep sih.
"Tired, Bon?" I inquired nbsently
adding, "There's 'the morning pa
per. I'll bo at leisure presently."
"Oh, dnsh tho mornintr nanerl
Dnsh tho wholo newspaper prcasl"
1 llllVO CUnllCmizcd IiIh nvtilnflvn n
little.
"Why, what's tho mnttor, Bou?"
"Matter? What isn't tho matter?
My wife says sho's tho coming Co
rinne of America."
1 began to fool Interested.
"You see, it is in tills way. When
your paper camo out with herflrstof
fusion, sho forthwith went to the con
clusion that Bhe was inspired, nnd
begnn pestering tho editorial frater
nity of the wholo country with her
rythmical rococo."
"Oh, that's all proper."
"But Bhe didn't stop there, durn it.
Ono evening I wont home, kissod hor,
asked if dinner wns wniting, und sho
began:
'"My love.' tlio banuuot soon will bo
Spread with tlio beot of food for th.-e
And onr new waiter from tlio suniln
Of fur-oft trunnntluntlo lauds
w ill help then to menu line,
Including old Fnlernliiii wine.'"
"Must have been exnspo rating," I
said, in a condoling tone.
"ExiiBperntlng? Yes. You hit tho
needle pop on tho optic. And sho
went on in the same strain until bed
time, winding up ns follows:
" 'My denr, you know full well It shocks
Mo through nnd through whon la your
unrkM
I hoc n hole; I have tho yarn
This awful orlllcoto darn.'
"After breakfast, as I wns leaving
the house, I heard a voice in the
upstairs hull saying:
" V?.0" ,rnnn mnnliMilnto tho broom
.7 'V.' dwrt'rouB bund In every room.
Until'
"1 fled. When I wont home at hulf
pitBt twelve tliut night my wifo mot
mo with u frown and hissed fiercely:
" 'Out of my night, thou luggardt Out of my
fight, 1 nny,
Seek thro another lodgmont till the dawning
of the day;
Hero In my healthy brooimttick, thero i tho
open doorj
llun, oh recreant husbandl n thounoverluwt
run before!'
"That mnde mo mud."
"Nuturnlly,"
"Yes; bo I begun:
" 'ThlH in luycuntle.nmdumjhoro will I stay.
I vow,
Till rolleth tho radiant ounboamt over the
mountain brow;
And, listen, my own cunip;Milon;lfI cannot
stay ttltb theo,
I'll stop with Jenny, tho housemaid'
"She said:
" 'Well.we will-seel "
"Did that remedy tho defect?"
"Yes, till this
begnn again."
morning, when she
,JHow?"
"You see, my trousers wero out of
order.iind I begged her to put a little,
natch under my couttuils. That fired
her off and she whizzed:
" 'Oh. for the raif and radiant June
Kreever I thought orthypantaloonn
hn ever 1 thought that thv love so
Hweet
Would deign to unk mc to patch theaeat
Of thy' "
Just then the door opened; a pink
nnd white vision of beauty appeared
upon tho threshold nnd begun:
"Benjamin, motherlscomlngto day,
And"
"lfthatigthecao there's thedevll to pay,"
mouned Benjamin, nnd vanished
from my sight.
A Narrow Escape
A few days ngo a party of Indies
from the Enst wero doing Yellow
stone Park, and in tlio course of
their rambles thoy strolled in the
vicinity of tho crater of tho geyser,
and ono dnring spirit essayed to
penetrate tho mysteries of a spot
where frequent, but fruitless efforts
huve been made to find tlio bottom.
She passed in safety along a narrow
ridgo which divides n pool of boiling
water, and peered into tho depths of
the dnngerous crnter a fow feet dis
tant. Fuithful goyser derives its
nnitio from tho fnct thatovery55
minutes thero is a discharge from its
depths which replenishes tlio pool
near which tlio venturesome tourist
stood. Premonitory symptoms of
un eruption nro conveyed by a hiss
ing Hound ns of escaping steam, and
the day ia question tho tourists hud
been frequently notified of this fact
Suddenly there wns tho
usual sign given by Fuithful gevser
of its intentions, nndtiiolndy toumt,
stnrtlcd by the sound, shrieked and
fell backward into tho pool of hot
water. About ten feet distant tlio
crnter yawned in front 01 her, nnd in
bur frnntie efforts she was rapidly
drifting townrd tlio bottomless pit
At this juncture Private Coylo
bravely sprang intp tlio boiling
water to the rescue of the unfortun
ate victim of her curiosity, nnd,
unmindful of tho fact that he wns
beingbndiy scalded, succeeded in sav
ing tlio tourist and himself.
An irute woman entered a dry
goods store tho otlier dny and ac
costed ono of tho clerks: "I've come
to find out what you mean by charg
ing me u dollar Saturday night for
that ti bio spread and selling Mr&.
Ferguson one jut like it on Monday
for (JO cents. Didn't you say it was
my last chnnco to get ono so chonp?"'
"You mistook me, madam," re
sponded the ready clerk; "I said it
was your last chnnco to got one for a
dollar. And it wns. for wo put them
down to (JO cents Moudny morninjr."
-Philudolphiu Cull.
"