r '
I fJLm
' -;
5
4
lB-
t, ,fj
1 ,
r$3J
t1
"f V
I .
f 4'
R3f
ft
Uw ... .nn.. I
HIT URI.T AKHtbl.
A few years ago I had a great desire
to enter the United States service. I
didn't care in what capacity just so
so long as I got my living from Uncle
6am. Mentioning my desire to the
United State? marshal for tho north
ern district of Florida, it was gratifi
ed. I was at onco usliored into tho
presence of the United States judg,
held up my right hand and, with a
heroism worthy of a better cause,
swore to support the Constitution of
the United States, though at the time
I was hardly able to support my own
.constitution. Taking my formidable
commission and a supply of station
ary, I went back to tho village of
Dead Pine to await orders.
Dead Pino is a small town so nam
ed because there is a large live oak in
front of tho principal saloon. Dead
Pine is not. an imposing place. At
that timo it had a httlo depot, some
stores, some mortgaged farmers
and ttiree saloons. It also had a
malarial back country, with plenty of
"bad men" living in it, a couple of
half starved churches, and some
Christains loaning money at from 2
to any per cent, monthly to their
struggling neighbors. It was also the
center of a lumber and turpentine dis
1 trict, where prominent citizens steal
state and government timber and call
it business.
In a few days my trouble began. I
received a portentous document from
headqunrters at Jacksonville. It had
four impressive and sinister looking
ollicial stamps on tho envelope, and
ordered mo to at onco seize the body
of Thomas Perkins, supposed to be
lurking somewhere in the country, and
In inn said body before the United
States court, then in session at Jack
sonville. By a.careful reading of the
somewhat diflusive warrant, I discov
ed that Thomas had been guilty of
periury in violation of the statutes in
such cases made and provided.
An hour later the following dispatch
wa3 handed to me:
Offick of the Ukitkii Status Makhiui
Jackhonvil.i.1:, Fla.
To United States Deputy Manila!, Dead
Pine, Flu.
Understand I'erkins doxpernte charac
ter; get help ueccHHary; take him dead or
alive.
Miifiivu.
That dispatch made me very indfg
nant. Get help indeed! Not I! I was
0 feet 1 inch in height, weighed 185
pounds. If I couldn't alone arrest
one man I was unworthy to wear the
bright red ribbon on tlie lapel of my
vest labeled "United States marshal. '
Besides, it I cot help, there would
not be enough glory to go aiourul. I
wanted it all for myself, and deter
mined to bring in theprisoner-electby
my own unaided efforts, or occupy
one o! the misfit coflins at the village
undertaker's.
Tho first thing was to locato the
gentleman, who, suffering from some
affection of the intellectual liver, had
resorted to perjury. 1 located him.
Six miles from town, hi a veritable
wilderness, two miles from any other
house, lived, moved and had his be
inu, Mr. Thomas Perkins, in whom
this great government of our was so
intensely interested.
Tho next thing was to make neces
sary preparations. I mado them. In
the morning by the bright light, of a
beautiful winter's day, a stout wagon,
drawn by two sturdy and reflective
mules, was drawn up in front of the
village hotel, which was vory inap
propiately named "Tho Delmonico."
On the front seat was my negro driver
and pilot, Bill. On the rear seat sat
the writer. Under a blanket at my
leet was a Winchester rlflo
and a double barrel shot gun
well loaded with buckshot, al
thouch I was oppressed with
a liiu rowing doubt as to whether J
hadn't put the buchshot in first. In
the pocket of my overcoat was a
Smith it Wesson double action sixty
eight, and in the breast' pocket bf
my inner coat a bowie knife that
had onco belonged to a Texas evange
list. A curious crowd had gatherer! to
see me off. Th-y knew my mission,
though none of them knew who I was
atter. They cheered mo with novel
ingestions and well meant advice.
"I bay. Cap." said one, "ye'd better
take a bottle of whisky erlong wi you.
There ain't no barroom whar you're
coin.' "
My driver looked approvingly at
this speaker.
"He won't look very pretty comin'
back here with a furrer driv cl'ar
through his cnist, will he?" said an
other. " 'Twouldn't do fer him to go out
bar hunt'n' at night with that red
nose shinin', would hit?"
That last remark hurt my vanity.
My nose was rather red, but it come
from an undue partiality for stewed
tomatoes,not from any other ciuse.
'When you lire at him, Lap, watch
that oil mule's hind leg, fer bo's goin'
ter kick." said a long, lank feller on
the outskirts of the crowd.
Even the negroes had something to
?ay. Approaching me with deference,
one of them whispered to me confi
dentially; "Boss, ye'd best tie dat fool nigger
what's drivin' ter tho seat, fer soon's
he hears a cap pop he's gwlne ter jump
out an' run like de debil."
Bill cave the mules a stimulating
touch of the whip and away we went.
For two miles out we had
eood roads. After that, tho
roughest and worst that I had ever
seen. Stumps, tangled roots, hills, cul
lies, swamp, coduroy, and the county
commissioners know what else, made
a regular penacea for tho twin evils
.of dyspepsia and love, according to
the "jolting up theorists. Now we
were in the wilderness, asolemn, awful
silence, broken only by the tramping
of tlie mules, the creaking of the wag
on and the hiccoughs of the driver,
. who was about half drunk when we
started. It n pine wilderness, and the
underbrush all gone, no song of bird,
no scent of flower, no flutter of Insect
life, a strange, dreary desert of forest.
Hero was majestic tiees aped with a
century of growth. Hazing at their
stately tops, ono could well imagine
that in days acone perhaps under the
very trees "we were parsing, "Lo, tho
poor Indian," hnd once assembled to
shake dice to see who should pa) for
the beer.
I was absorbed In these meditations
when the wagon ran into ahugestump
and away I went snilingoutintospuce.
The shot gun about this timo decided
that it was tired of riding and camo
along also. Neither of us were hurt,
and wo resumed our seats in the
wagon, the gun rather unwillingly I
thought.
We were now getting near the camp
of the enemy and a rather curious
sensation took possession of me. Of
course it was not tear, but my heart
evinced acuriousdispositionto desert
its pericardium and homestead tho
lower portion ot my throat. I cock
ed both the lille and tho shot gun,
ulacing them sideways in tho wagon
to satisfy the manifest uneasiness of
tho driver. Tho revolver I took on',
and placed on the seat by me, cover
ing it with a superabundance of coat
tail. The knife I loosened hi its
sheath. About half a milo fur
ther on 1 saw approaching ono of
the most villainous" looking men I had
ever seen. He was ot negro blood,
nearly white, of herculean frame, and
if not a born criminal and assassin,
should have had his faco indicted for
malicious libel. He carried a glitter
ing ax on his shoulder and eyed mo
insolently.
The driver turned around with a
whisper, "Dat's him, boss."
My knees now partook of the
general excitement, my hand trembled
as if my best girl was about to refuse
me, ond my blood seemed determined
to go into the cold storage business.
At the same timo an overwhelming
conviction reached me that this was
not the man I was looking for, and
that It would be impolite to risk a
suit for false imprisonment.
As he came opposite the wagon, my
driver drew up and assumed the
initiative.
"Is your name Perkins?"
"Naw", was the surly reply.
My thermometer immediately re
smiled its normal condition of 72 in
the shade.
"My good man," said I, carefully
concealing all weapons, "I am looking
for one Perkins; can you inform me
where that most esteemed gentleman
lives?"
"In that house over yonder," ho
said, pointing about a quarter of a
mile distant, where a thin spiro of
smoke emphasized a tumble down log
house.
When about 100 yards from tho
house I halted the team and gave a
few briel directions to the driver.
With the rifle at full cock I cautious
ly approached the house. It was of
rough" logs very rickety, with the usu
al stick and mud chimney. Outside of
tbo smoko from that there was no
sign of lite about the place. Silently
I came up to the back'door, with a
vigorous kick Sent it of! tho leather
hinges, and covered with tho rifle a
figure dimly seen in the semi-darkncs3
of the room.
"Throw up your hands!" I com
manded. "If yon stir I'll shoot."
From the hgure, in shrill, frightened
accents, came.
"For de Law'd'Bsake, watcher mean
white man. I ain't dun uufhn."
The gun dropped from my nervous
hands.
Thomas Perkins, alleged desperado,
was an old crippled negro, about 178
years old, half paralyzed and wholly
stupid.
Three hours afterward I drove into
Dead Pine with my prisoner, to bo
greeted with ironical comment and up
loarious laughter.
"Did he kick much, Cap?" said one
big lellow, while another, nfter eyeing
Perkins a moment in silence, said, as
ho moved oil;
"Yes the thing is alive, I saw its
tongue wiggle."
Four hours later I was in Jackson
ville, and delivered my prisoner to tho
United States marshal. As the ma
jor audited my accounts and drew a
check for my expensss he was shading
with ill suppressed laughter.
"What do you see so funny about
this?" I inquired, rather tartly.
"I was wondering what the judge
will say when he sees him," wa3 tho
reply.
Just then the judge strolled in. He
gave a look at the prisoner, then at
me, and inquired mildly, but with a
merry twinkle in his handsome eyes:
"Did ' ui have much trouble in se
curm1 -i desperado, Mr. Officer?"
'iVlo-n3or ftvir:y roared.
I t-v frmy check and left the room.
I ht.fi pot seen prisoner, United
States marshal, or Jacksonville since
that eventful day, and Dead Pine
shall know mo no more forever.
Hamilton jay in Detroit Free Pree.
f am
In Petticoat and Sunbonnet.
There is now living in Pickens
County, On., a man who, during tho
rebellion, donned his wife's dress,
kept his taco cloely shaved, and
wore a big sunbonnet. in order to
avoid being conscripted and sent to
the Iront. Tne officers in search of
recruits frequently visited the house
and asked his wife where her husband
was, and at the very moment he
could be seen working in the field in
female garb. By the time he had
worn out seven of his wife's dresses
he became tired of masquerading,
enlisted and became a good soldier.
. i -
A Startling Innovation.
Frank R. Stockton, that popular
novelist of infinite quaint humors,
is held responsible for a most startling
innovation in the way of wedding
trips, recently introduced in Washing
ton. After a certain wedding
ceiemony, M which Mr. Stockton was
present, "instead of the young couple
going on a wedding trip, the 'bride's
parents were showered with rice and
old slippers and banished on a two
weeks' exile, while the bride and
groom were left in possession of the
house. 'Frank Leslie's.
Horrible Chinese Verdict.
Advices liavo been received by mem
bers of tho Chincae colony in San Fran
cisco to tho vffectthat, unless cxeeutlvo
clemency is manifested, Chang Sbu-Yin-Tizu,
who is well known among
his fellow countrymen in tho United
States, will ho put to death by tho
horrible process known as "slicing."
Tho method employed in this execu
tion is to fasten the miserable offend
er to an upright stake, securoly fasten
his hands and feet, and slowly slico
largo portions of ilesh from different
parts of the body until death puts an
end to tho victim's sufferings. At
first tho pieces sliced aro small, a por
tion from the arm, another from tiie
leg, then a finger or perhap3 an oar.
Then tho breast is sliced unlrl tho vi
tal parts aro reached. As a method
of torturo it is indescribablo, tho timo
elapsing before death intervenes run
ning from three to six hours. Chang
was a member of the Chiueso colony
in San Francisco some years
ago, but returned to his native land
in 18S0. Ill luck scorns to have coma
upon him, for ho was glad to find em
ployment ns a day laborer in tho de
partment of the K-o-hlan, in Sliansi.
Ho was in great financial straits, and
mado several applications for a loan
to Chang Wangia, a wealthy second
cousin. His importunities finally be
gan to border on blackmail, and Wang
ta secured his arrest and communcnt
ed with tho authorities with tho view
of obtaining a public prosecution.
Friends, however, camo to tho prison
er's assistance, and as a result of in
iluental intercession ho was released
from custody. Smarting with a senso
of injury, however, ho determined to
have revenge, and tho day atter his
release ho purchased four ounces of
arsenic. That night, in disgulso ho
managed to enter his cousin's house,
and mixed tho poison with a pot of
flour. The next mrrning's breakfast
was prepared from this flour, and two
hours later 3ix out of seven members
of tho family were dead. Suspicion at
once fell upon Chang Ssu-Yin-Tizu,
who at once decamped. His where
abouts were discovered after a long
search, and he was arrested, and con
victed. Strenuous efforts were mado
by his relatives to havo tho punish
ment fixed at imprisonment for life,
but the court held that tho law which
makes tho murder of three or more
persons in the saino family punisha
ble by deathly tho slicing process
should bo rigidly upheld and enforced,
and that there were no extenuating
circumstances in the case.
' .
France's Sinking Shore.
London Globe.
Just lately.on the coast of Brittany
ono of those geological discoveries has
been made which suggests to the mind
periods of timo making the longest
human life appear but a span, and
exhibiting processes quito dwarfing
tho most ambitious human achieve
ments. This is tho disclosure, by tho
displacement of a mass of sand, of a
forest that must have been buried for
some twenty centuries at least. Tho
situation 3 just opposite Saint Malo,
at the foot of the cliffs ot Saint Eno
gat and St. Lunairo. Tho forest is
supposed to havo onco extended from
St. Malo to beyond Mont Saint Michel.
This discovery is considered of great
scientific interest, as it affords a re
maikablo illustration of tho gradual
sinking of the French shore. Tho pro
gress of this sinking during tho last
2,000 years is clearly shown in an
old map found at tho Abbey
of the Mont Saint Michael. Withni
no more than seven centuries back as
many as seven parishes aro said to
have disappeared by the subsidence
of this legion. And in the Bay ot
Douarr.enez there is known to have
existed in the fifth century quite a
flourishing town called Is, the scene
ot the famous tragical legend. Even
now, at low water, may bo seen the
old walls of Is, which aro called by
the inhabitants Mogber Greghi (wall
of tho Greeks). Tho people of tho
country protend that thev can some
times hear the old church bells of tho
submerged city ringing with the mo
tion of the current.
French geologists estimato that tho
gradual sinking ot the soil of Brittany,
Normandy, Attois, Belgium and Hol
land is not less than seven feet a cen
tury. At this rate it is calculated
that in about ten centuries all the
channel ports will be destroyed, and
Paris itself will have become a mari
time city. In another ten centuries
it is predicted that the French capital
itself will havo become entirely sub
merged, excepting, perhaps, that the
tops of the Pantheon, of the Arc de
Tnomphe and other such monuments
may be discernible at low water by
the people who will then bo living.
ii
A young woman in Brooklyn 'got
a bad fright tlie other night. She
had been out in tho country and had
brought homo some seed-pods of the
wistaria. These aro something like
enormous beau-pods; on the outside
they are soft and velvety to tlie
touch; within is a multitude of
smnll seeds. She placpd the pods on
a table in her room. That night she
went peacefully to sleep. "In the
dead vast and middlo of the night,"
sho was suddenly awakened by an
explosion' which was followed instant
ly by the sound of something drop
ping upon the bed and floor. Al
most immediately there was a becond
report, and the dropping of what
seemed like small particles of plaster
went on in an ominous way. Tho
young woman sprang from her bed
and rushed from the room. Sho re
futed to go back for tnat night at
least, and new quarters had to lie
provided. On entering her own room
in tho morning sho lound that half
a dozen of the wistaria seed-pods hail
"gone off" and their contents been
scattered around the room, There
were wistaria seedse very where on the
beb, duieau, table, chairs and floor.
A DOUBLE WEDDING.
Almost everybody knows old man
Stringfellow. Hols a tall, 'lank- per
sonage, with shouldors Iiko a dromo
dary'B. His faco is long, like that of
a horse, and ho has black halr,atreak
cd with gray, on his head, with a tuft
of the same on his chin. Old man
Stringfellow wears neither mustache
nor whiskers, being very particular
to flhavo himself at least twice a wnok,
undergoing somo pain, and twisting
his long face-into all' nrannor of "con
tortions which a circus clown
would givo $1,000 to bo able to Im.
itato during tho operation, owing to
tho stiff nature of tho crop.ho is reap
ing and tho dullness of tho instru
ment with which ho works. Ho sel
dom wears a coat, going in his shirt
Bleoves Bummci' and winter, only
chancing" tho garment of hickory, for
tho garment of wool as tho seasons
vary his jean pantaloons being
hoisted up with suspenders galluses
ho calls them almost to his armpits,
making him look at a Httlo distance
like somo queer animal with very long
legs.
Ho lives in a log cabin of ono room,
with a shed attachment, and has a
wl'o and six children, equally divided
as to sox. In tho room, which is
roomy enough, ho and Mr. Stringfel
low occupy ono bed, and tho threo
girls Nancy, Gin, for Jane, and
Merier another, and hero all tho
cooking is done in tho wide clay fire
place of tho stick and mud chimney.
Tho shed attachment accommodates
tho boys, Bill, Ben and Jim.
Occasionally a belated travolor will
stop at tho Stringfellow mansion and
ask for a night's lodging. He will bo
invited to " ' light an' come in," and
when lie has done so will bo treated
with primitive hospitality."
These people aro poor and unedu
cated, but there is aspiritof independ
ence about them that nothing can
conquer, and so long as their potato
banks hold out atd their razor backs
come home, to pick up a lit
tle fat in tho field alter tho crop is
garnced, and then pay tribute to
tho larder, they care not for king nor
kaiser. Thoy never treat anybody,
no matter who ho may be, as any
thing mora than an equal, and wpuld
show no differenco to tho czar of all
tho Russians should ho chance to
travel their way, with all his cortege.
Should he stop ho would bo invited to
"light," anil tho boys would ask
about the price of potatoes in town,
the old woman inquires as to mar
ket value of eegs, while the girls stood
by and giggled, and tho old man put
in a request for a chew of tobacco
that is, if they did not mistake the
whole affair for a circm as, liko as
not, they would. They had walked
fifteen miles once to -o a circus all
except tho old woman, who rode a
shaggy pony about as big as a year
ling calf, and with mora hair on his
hide than flesh under it.
I haupened to bo a guest of the
String?ellow family once. Finding
myself near their residence one night,
when it was so dark that I could ftee
nothing hut the glimmer of a light in
their cabin, I rodo for it through
brush and brier, and when I reached
it halloed m the usual country style.
Immediately the light, which camo
from tho open door.was shut off by
two human forms, and I was bid to
" Might an' come in."
The family was just preparing to
eat supper, and a savory mess of
pork and potatoes weio being dished
up. I was invited to join them in
their meal, during which I was pump
ed pretty dry of all I knew about the
affairs of the town, which was too far
off to be visited by any of them very
often. But to this I did not object,
knowing that such information as I
could impart was all I would havo to
pay tor the entertainment of myself
and beast which had been led off by
one of the boys to share the stable of
the hhaggy pony so I let the ripplo
of my talk flow in a continuous cur
rent, turning on my inevitable valve
at the same time, to give a sparkle to
plain facts indispensable to make
them enjoyahlp.
During the evening I gathered from
the whispering and g'gi'ling going on
among the young folk that there was
some mysterv afloat something in
which they all seemed more or less in
terested and when they had gone to
bed (the old womnn hud retired. im
mediately after supper, petting Into
one of the beds without my knowing
anything about it until I heard her
hiioring) old man Stringfellow enlight
ened mo after a rather peculiar fashion
of his own.
"Well, stranger," he said, "I disre
member yor name. I reckon you'll
stay."
I had already 'told him my name
half a doren times, and ho had often
disremembered it, so I did not repeat
It, but told him I proposed to stay a
fact which I supposed he was already
cognizant of.
"Yes," he said, rubbing hislongjaw
bono thoughtfully, "I 'lowed yer
w'uld, an' I'm glad uv it; yes. I am;
fur tho mo' comp'ny th better on
sich a 'cashm. Ye'rll bo welcome,
stranger, an' a houo&d gups'."
I was a little puzzled, ana began to
think the old mnn was not exactly in
his right mind, but I said uothlng.und
ho went on.
"You see," ho said, looking at tlie
fire, while ho talked, "gals an' boys
will git married sooner er later, an'
thar ain't no use athrowiu'obsticklea
in thar way, un' so whenMerier.thet's
theyounges', and Nan:', she's tho aid
es', conio an' tole me thet they Mowed
to tako unto tharso'ves he'pmeats,
which was Dick Dander an' Peto Prin
gle, why.says I, 'all rirht; jeV go ahead
an fix it to suit yeroo'ves;' fur though
nyther one uv tiiom boys comes uv es
good stoctc as the Stringfellers, I reck
in' they' 'bout as eood es yer'll pick
up hereabouts.' So they dono like I
said, an' ter-morrcr't. the timo It's to
be."
"Ah," I Bald, "jo there's to bo a
wedding."
"Yes," ho replied, still looking mus
ingly at tho fire; "the tnarrigo giar
nients hevo been prepnred an' the
gues's hevo been bidden, an' though
you wuzn't bidden, ylt, os 1 said afore
you'll bo wolcomo an' a honored
gues'."
As I waa in no particular hurfy I
concluded to accept nn Invitation so
cordially given, and laid down on tho
mattress that had been spread out on
the floor for my accommodation,
thinking ot tho happy go lucky way in
"which people in'tho country -get mar-
neu.
About noon the next day the guests
who had been bidden began to ar
rivo somo on loot, somo on long leg
ged hoises and some on short legscd
ponies, while others camo in rickety
wagons drawn by oxen that looked as
though they might havo been import
ed from the kingdom ot Lilliput, and
from that timo out there was fun and
feasting that is, If potatoes and pork
Served m various wayB can bo said to
constitute a feast.
About sunset a mnn reeling drunk
rode up and was helped off his horse.
"How aro yer iedgo?" said mino
host.
"H'llo, String'Mer," said 'tho jedge,
looking round stupidly at the assem
bled guoits, who were laughing and
giggling, "which's th' 'cused?"
"Why, you ain't in co'rt. jedce," ro
piled Htringlellow. "This here's a
marriage feas' yer'vo como to yer'vo
comu hero to marry my to gals, Nanc
an' Merier."
"That's so," said tho jedge, rubbing
his head. "I knowed tlr wuz somp'n
I'd comofur. Le's b'gin."
"Well, como inter tho houso fust,"
said the old man.
"All right, c'm'on," and with a lurch
and a tack tho spenkci got inside the
door, when ho fell Hprnwling on tho
lloor. Ho was helped up and given
the back of a chair to steady himself
by.
"Th's 'ero's th' dogondes' oner'nes'
llo' I 'ver seed, Stiiugl'ler," ho said.
"Stan' 'p, pris'ner."
"I tells yer this hero ain't no co'rt
jedge," said old man Stringfellow, bo
cining to ?et nettled, "an' my gals
ain't no prls'nurs."
"Oh, well, 't's all same," Baid tho
jedge. "Stan' 'p, gals, 'n holo 'p right
ban'."
"Wat's thet fur?" asked Nancy, as
pIio and her sister and the two bride
grooms stood up in a row.
"Guilty nr not "began tho jedge,
and then recollecting" himself: "Do
you," pointing at Nancy, "everlast
inMyxw'ar to tako this hero young
f'ler." pointing to Merier'e affianced.
"No, I don't," said tho girl; "thotV
"Tohovoan' t' hole,', went on tho
jedg
'No, I don't," repeated Nancy
stamping her foot.
"Yer don't?"
"No, I don't."
"Then t's case nol pros, an' this
here co'rt 'journed."
"Look a here, jedge," said the girl's
father, "1 done tolo yer this here ain't
no co'rt this hero's a woddin' that's
w'at It is, don't yer onnerstan'?"
"Yesh, that'H all right, olo man,"
said tho jedge. "Y'seo I knowed 1 lied
a case t' try an' got sorter confused.
I'h g back an' b'in over, Wat's
weddhi i s name? men w'at's cal's an'
Tier's name?"
"Thnr's two gal's," said the old
man. "Nanc' an Merier Stringfeller,
an' they's a going to marry Dick Dan
der an' Pete Pringle. Thar they
Stan's right alore yor, now go ahead."
"All right. D'yoti, Nanc', take this
hero Pete"
"No, I shan't," said Nanc', "ho
ainV-
"Yer don't an'y' shan't; thet 'pears
to bo 'bout all yer'ro guilty 'v, pris'
ner," said tho jedge. relapsing into
court jargon, "an' don't eo iioih'n'
t' do but scharge you. Give's a drink,
Strinjf'ler; co'rt's 'journed."
Stringfellow was at his wits' end,
though his son, Bill, said it was as
good an a circus, and tho company in
general seemed to bo highly delighted
witli the general performance. There
appeared to he no possibility of keep
ing tlie jedge on the right tuck, and the
court was about to be adjourned bine
die sure enough, when 1 suggested the
propriety of complying with his re
quest, and giving tlie le'allunctlonary
a dram, which might brighten him up
long enough to enable him to go
through with the ceremony proper.y.
Accordingly he was taken into the
shed room, where the boys slept, and
in a few minutes came out again with
his. faco wreathed with smile.' I may
use tiie expression in the very truth
in this case, for every feature seenifd
to be twisted this way or that with a
smile of its own, so that he presented
a most comical uppearance of would
be affability.
Ho was hurried to the front while
the steam was up, when he went
through the usunl formula m a dis
jointed way and immediately collap
sed and was put to bed, where he lav
snoring through all the noise made by
tho younz people, only shouting out
occasionally. 'Silence 'n co'rt.""
Tho frolic lasted all night, the cabin,
from which the beds had been itmov
ed, being transformed into a ball
room, in one corner of which nn old
crippled negro snt scraping a rapping
fiddle nnd calling out the figures of
the dance with a stentorian voice
that was somewhat cracked. Rob
ert Boggsin Now Orleans Times-Democrat.
"The coming newspaper," wo are
told, "will not print any advertisement--."
Wo were under tho impres
sion that it is tho going newspaper
that does not print any advertise
ments, and thnt reason in that the
why it is going. Boston Transcript.
"Look here!" she exclaimed. "This
is terrible. You charge mo twenty-five
cents for that card of buttono, and
back east I could get them (or ten
cents." "Yim, ma'am, but just think
of the elegant climate you gethroned
in witli every card of buttons."-
Decline of Famous Families.
Among tho descendants of Thomas
Plantacenet, duke of Gloucester, fifth
son nf Edward III., was Stephen J. .
Penny, who wnB, not mnnyyean aao,
sexton at St. George's, Hanover
square, London.
Among the linoal descendants ot
Edmund ot Woodstock, earl ot Kent
and sixth son of Edward I., occur a
butcher and a toll-gathorer; tho fir At
a Joseph Smart of Halesowen, the lat
ter a Gcorgo Wilmont, a keeper of tho
turnpike gato at Cooper's bank, near
Dudley. V
A story is, told of ascionof thogreat
house of Urquhart of Cromarty who
was necessitated by his extravagance
to sell his inheritance, and who. sink
ing step by step to tho lowest depths
of wretchedness, camo at last a wan
dering beggar to tho door which had
onco been his own.
No race in Europe surpassed the
Plantagenets in royal position and
personal achievements, and yet hot
to descend further than the year 1037,
the great-great grandson ot Margarot
Plautngcnot, daughter and heiress of
George duke of Clarence, followed tho
trndo of a shoe-maker of Newport,
Salop.
Fraser of Kirkhill relates that ho
saw tho earl of Tarquair, cousin of
James VI., begging In the streets ot
Edinburgh. "Ho was." savs Fraser.
"in nn autlquo garb, and woro a
broad old hat, short cloak and pan
nier breeches, nnd I contributed to
ward his reliof. We gave him n noble.
He was standing with his hat off, and
received the pleco ot money from my
hand as numbly and thankfully ao
the poorest applicant."
Ono of Cromwell's granddaughters,
after seeing her hUBbnnd die in tho
workhouso" of a small Suffolk town,
died herseli a pauper, leaving two
daughters, tho elder tho wife ot a' shoe
maker and tho younger the wife of a
butcher's son who had been her fellow
servant. Another of Oliver Crom
well's daughters had two children; ot
whom tho son becamo asmall working
jeweler.aud tho daughter the mistress
ot a small tjphaol at Mtldeuhnll.
Beforo the timo of tho protector tho
Cromwell family possessed estates
equal to those of tlfo wealthier peers
of tho present day, and the great Oh
ver himself inherited considerable
property, which, augmented from pri
vate sources, mado up a total suffi
cient to maintain his family perpetu
ally in eay circumstances. But with,
in a century nfter his death Thomas
Cromwell, his great grandson, was a
grocer on Snow F"ll and his son Oli
ver, tho last malo heir, an attorney In
London. i
When tho twelfth earl of Crawford
was imprisoned in Edinburgh catle
to restrain his recklessness and prodi
gality ho left ono child, a daughter,
who, hnving no one whatever to look
after her, received not a scra of edu
cation nnd was allowed to run about
lik& a gypsy. She eloped with a corn
iron crier, and at ono period of her
llfo lived by mendicancy. Charles II.
granted her a ponston of $500 a year,
but owing to her utter degeneracy, it
proved more hurtful than beneficial.
The male huad of this family died in
tho year 174-1, In tho capacity of host
ler in an inn at Kirkwall In the Ork
ney islnnds. The estate had boendis
sipated by tho "spendthrift earl," his
father, and with hts patrimony he,
Lord Lindsay, earl of Crawford,
bought a small property, on which'he
resided for somo years, Until through
adverse fortune, this went too, and to
save himself from starvation, he was
lain to go ns a hostler.
Tea and Temperance.
An interesting token of tho growth
of the temperance sentiment in Great
Britain is furnished by a correspond
ent of tho St. James Gazette. He
shows that during tho past 47 years
the average annual consumption of
tea per capita of thoentire population
has increased Irom less than a pound
and a qua: ter to five pounds, and of
cocoa, from about an ounce and a
quarter to nearly half, while tho use
of coffee has fallen off from 17 ounces
to llJ ounces. The total consumption
of these threo leading nonalcholic
drinks has thus increased nearly
three (old; the exact figures are from
US.OS ounces to 09.04 ounces per
capita annually. This may not in
dicate a fully corresponding decrease,
in the consumption of strong drink;
but it must mean a considerable de
crease, and it proves that the people
are learning to appreciate the ''cup
that cliesrs but not inebriates."
Consistency, Thy Name is
Woman. a
Ho was her third husband and it
ooked as if lis vr, a drifting away.
"Henry," said she, weeping, "havo
you any last request?"
"Only one," he murmured. "Bury
me in the country under the willows."
"Henry," said she, "I hate to refuse
your last request, but I've ulwavs
bu'ied my husbands in tho city, and
it wouldn't bo fair to make an ex
ception. Now, would it, dear?"
Afterward she was sorry for hiJr
consistency, as Henry got so nyul
that it broke tho fo er and ho
recovered. Drake's Magazine.
It Is quite possible that we havo not
como to the end of illuminating pro
jects, nnd that the iioo of eleatricity
may not Mipersedeall other materials.
Glasgow has recently witnessed the
test of a new illuminnnt o! extraordi
nary power. It is obtained by the
evaportion of tar. creosote, or other
hydro-carbon oils. The Maine is pure
while, very intenso and can be carried
up to 3,000 candle power. Tln ex
pense is two cents per hour per 1,000
candle power. It is in the production
of artificial light and heat that Civil
ization has for the last twenty-five
years mo&t notably marked progress.
It i on the same line we shall move
for Borae time to come. Tho end wdl
be free fuel and free lights for tlie p'O-
iile ns wo now havo free air. Globe-democrat.
