JL
fi-M-k. -
HEROPINION.
To-day," Bald be, "I Rrnduato.
What shall I do, will you advise
Shnll.I stay here to try my fato
Or Beck tho West where Fortune lies?"
"It rests with you what I shall do;
Say but tho word and I will stay.
But it you bid mo go from you,
Again my heart must needs obey."
"1 think," said sho, "wero you to go,
"You'd nnd that plan by lar tho
best."
Then In hi car Bho whinnered low,
"I'm verysnro we'll llkd tho West."
Hauvaud Lampoon.
A PAIR 0FJ.0VERS.
I believe, on my word, that a wor
thier crcaturo than Groat of 70 never
drew the breath oi undergraduate life.
No man ever talked to him for five
minutes without liking tho simple,
honest soul. He ennro f a family
that had turned out colleso graduates
for, at leaBt fivo generations back, and
his father was a hnrd-working country
doctor up in Now Hampshire, most
respectable people indeed, who set
much value on "education. Natural
ly, then, Archibald passed his en
trance examinations with credit, and
ho soon made clear his determination
to go through his course in most ex
emplary fashion. Wo quickly found
out that though Groat's capacities
were but barely respectable, he yet in
tended to make the most oltliem. His
best quality of mind was a prodigous
memory, and a he was a hard reader,
it often happened that he not infre
quently put brighter and lazier men
to shame and confusion. It was on
such occasions that Archibald wns
contempuously set down by tho van
quished aa a "mere grind," and as it
happened these occasions were pain
fully frequent, Groat got credit tor a
decree of plodding mediocrity which
lufdid not wholly deserve. And when
Archibald took the Sophomore prize
for Latin verse, for which we nil back
ed his room-mate, Jack Malmsey
even that hardened failure was pro
voked to observo (it was at a subse
quent meeting of tho "Pipe and Bowl
brotherhood" and tho great defeated
was himself in the chair), Jack, then,
I day, was nagged into retorting: "I'm
Borfy you lost your money on me, gen
tlemen, but let this teach you that the
dish of herbs goes farther with tho
midnight oil than tho stalled ox with
out it." We all applauded this neat
metaphor, but Jack apologized for ita
moment afterward and drank tho
health of his chum and conqueror,
Groat, in a steaming glass ol punch.
Archibald was not present. As a
reading man he scorned tho Brother
hood. "He loathed tho flowing bowl
nnd would have rireferred a sea-voyage
to smoking a pipe. Ono of those
eyrio fatalities of the Freshman's lot
had made him Jack's room-mate, and
though in a very short time he found
ho had strayed into the tent of
the Philistine, he never beat a retreat.
Whenever Prex, whose prime favorite
Archibald was, hinted that ho might
perhaps find more congenial quarters,
Archy gravely said he felt it his duty
to remain where ho was, nor could all
the prayers of his own set the Kai
gar as we dubbed tho non-fratornity,
plodding fellows change his resolu
tion. They never called on Archi
bald and would sooner have gono in
to a den of lions. Nor would Jaok
givo up his chum. At t lie end of
three mouths he had taken a violent
Hkingto him. Hocalled Groat various
ly his Good Genius, his Monitor and his
BrightExampleaiid vowed Archibald's
influence was worth more than the
lectures of a full term. I am afraid
Groat only tolerated Jack and stayed
with him less from love than a pure
sense ol duty. And, in truth, now
much respect could a serious, labor
ious, irreproachable youth have for
Bitch an idle, careless, roistering scape
grace? Malmsey was bright enough,
poor Groat would groan, but how de
plorably indifferent to his advantages!
Jack was the editor oi tho college pa
per, the ornament of the best frate-.
nity, tho chosen bard of every festive
occasion, an incomparnbledebnterancl
had a real genius for moral philosophy;
but ho was out all night and every
night: ho had invented the "Gnny.
medo" punch nnd organized that Bac
chanalian Brotherhood; ho played
poker; he ran after shop girls; he owed
awful sums to tho tailor and the
liyery- Often and again as Jack
would come noisily into their study
at midnight, with eyes bright anil
cheeks flushed, to find honest Groat
digging away at the next day's Greek
lesson, that young man would look
up severely and sardonically remark:
"You are in early to-night."
"Been drinking you're health, Arch,
old boy," Jack would sing out cheer
fully. "Why don't you join us? Good
fellowship's the oil "of industry, you
musty old miner of time!
As we trend tho pnthwny high.
Leading on to glory.
Olt wo'll think ol Zeta Pel
Famed in song and story,"
"If you'd drink my health lees oft
en," Mr. Groat would rejoin coldly,
"It would be much to tho advantage
ol your own."
"There goes my monitor," Jack
would laugh. "What would I do with
out my paragon? Write out those
lines, there's a good iellow, and I'll
planro over 'em in the morning," nnd
the graceless scamp 'would go off roar
ing to bed.
Mr. Malmsey left college in his Jun
ior year, an unusually.flagrant breach
of order, making his elimination im
perative. We knew vaguely that he had
gone "into journalism"nd heard moro
or less flattering accounts of him, now
in Boston, now in Chicago, now in Den
ver, and at last in Ban Francisco,
where wo lost trace of him entirely,
Groat's pale face lost the look of care
it had worn fortwoyenrs.and hegradu
ated at last with honors to take a
place as teacher of Latin and natural
bcience in tho lovely city of Now
Haven. In tho polished nnd refined
circles of that enlightened town, ho
met Miss Isabella Norwood, and in
due course of tuna found himself un
disguised ly in love with her.
And there wns no doubt that Miss
Belle was a lovely and charming crea
ture at this period of her life. She had
big, earnest, black eyes and tho red
dest of lips; and the slimmest, neatest
littlo figure imaginable. But what
heightened nnd set off these attrac
tions of person nnd gavo them lasting
flavor and value, was her assumption
oi severe and uncompromising intel
lectuality. Tho daughter of a resident
professor.she felt it beneath her hered
itary character to care for tho objects
and pursuits of tho young women of
tho day.
Indeed, she had no small contempt
for that typo of tho feminine charac
ter which found satisfaction in tho
pursuits of shopping, of dress, of
fancy work, of Howells' novels, of
alas! the gay and dapper undergrndu
ato and the sprightly and amiable
tutor ol Man in fact, in any of those
shaties by which ho appeals to well
bred young womanhood in New Ha
ven. Miss Belle had a soul abovotheso
trifles. Hit lectures and her classical
concerts, her German nnd her histori
cal course, her Wednesdays at the
Microscopical Society, and her Satur
days at the Mission School took up
most of her time. If sho deigned to
converse with a man under 40, you
may bo suro only such topics wero per
mitted as tended to enrich tho mind
and im pro vo the understanding. Sho
did not dance. Sho only cared for
moonlight as an illustration of the
power of solar rays in reflec
tion. Threo wero better than
two, at all times, in her opin
on, and woe unto that Vandal
who thought these pretensions non
sensical and a boro and ventured to
pay a compliment to the younglndy'a
eyes. He got his walking papers in
short order. If the truth be told,
this eccentric young woman could not
cook nearly as well as her younger
sister, who was strongly addicted to
tho aforesaid trifles. But that was of
small consequence since, if sho ever
thought of marriage, is was in the
light of a union between Mind mid
Mind in tho search for Truth, a :dn
dition of high thinking and ns low liv
ing as was necessary.
After Mr. Groat had ronversed with
this young lady a score of times, ho
had reason to flatter himself that ho
had made a good impression. And
Miss Norwood afterward confessed
that Archibald Groat was at that
timo quite her ideal of n rising young
man. There was nothing remarkablo
in his looks. His light hair was comb
ed back so as to make the most ol his
nubby forehead, his straw-colored
moustache had a thoughtful droop
and his black coat, gray trousers, eat
in tio and trim boots wero a scholarly
and gentlemanly costume. He used
only tho finest cambrichandkorchiels,
and tho considerable bosom of his
shirt was always immaculate. Ho
was a collego tutor now, and doing
very well. Miss Norwood thought lit
tleot his person, which, sure, was un
objectionable; it was his good sense
and seriousness that pleased her. Ho
offended none of her prejudices. They
talked only on grave subjects, and
she found Archibald's mind was well
stored with useful and accurate infor
mation. If they were on tho water it
was the habits of the fishes that oc
cupied their thought", or the botanic
al curiosities along shore. When they
walked abroad on the hills, Mr.Gron't
always carried a hammer, convenient
for the study of geology. If thoy
looked nt tho stars it was to seek an ex
pected comet or discuss the theory of
an intermercurial planet. Tho sly roguo
sent her no extravagant hothouse
flowers; not ho. An early Caltha Pa
lustris, bits of mineral, queer coins,
odd specimens of all kinds wero his
votive offerings. Once he ventured to
present her with a book. It
was The Dog. An introduction to tho
Study of Vertebrato Animals. Tho
young lady was not insensible of his
respectful devotion. One day ho grew
bold enough to ask her to marry him
and was quite surprised at his own
ardor. Sho answered gravely that sho
liked him very well and respected him
more than most men of his age, but
but she feared sho didn't like him well
enough for that, and he must wait.
Thoy shook hands sedately as they
parted.
It was whilo Mr. Groat's affairs wero
at this hopeful stage, and lie was read
ing very contentedly in his rooms one
night that the door was thrown open
with a bang nnd somebody entered
with a rush and slapped him on the
thoulder, and somebody's voice, with
a fain liar ring, cried "Groat! Archy,
you o d worm-eaten, dog-eared her
mit! Don't you know me?"
"Why. bless my soul!" murmured
Archibald, "il it isn't Malmsey! Gra
cious me, how you've changed, Malm
sey! How do you do?"
"Do? Magnificently old chap," says
tho liandsome.hen.i-ty fellow, throwing
himselt into Archibald's easiest chair
and smiiing nt him in the old way.
"Been down at Newport with Tom
Lennox.who lives here, you know,aud
I'm to stop over with him a day orso
and go the rounds. Lots of nice girls
here, Tom says, eh, you rascal? Been
in New York for tho last year on tho
Tocsin. Still driving a quill, you see.
It's all I'm fit for, I puppose. Heard
you wero here and came right up.
Glad you're doing well, butwhyaren t
you married?"
Jack rattled this off breathlessly,
and burst out laughing when Mr. Groat
reddened and simpered nt the last
words. Introduce me.you dog, or I'll
find her out myself. Who is tho lucky
winner of snehaprize?" And then they
fell to talking about the old days and
tho old friends till neardaylight. But
Jack could not get tho promise of an
introduction to the subject of his old
chum's tacit confession; not even her
name, for Archibald was a prudent
and timorous lover and wanted no
such good-looking reprobate as Mr.
John Malmsey disturbing Miss Nor
wood's chaste and icsthetic medita
tions, And the better to excuse him
self he resolved to go off to Hartford
tho very next day on a long-delayed
visit to a maiden aunt. And so It
happened that when the unconscious
man was well on his journey, chuck
ling over his strategy, Mr, Thomas
Lennox wns having tho great pleasure
of presenting Mr. Malmsey to his
cousin, Miss Norwood. What a week
that was! that week of poor Archi
bald's absence nnd when I fear he
was missed by Mijs Norwood much
less than ho hoped.- Tom Lennox,
rich, popular, idle, outrivnlled him
self in devices to divctt Mr. Malm
soy nnd prolong his stay. What
yachting parties on tho Sound; what
drives to babin Hock; what picnics to
tho hermit's cave; what dinner par
ties crowded thoeo seven days nro
nOt easy to describe Miss Norwood,
an ono of tho family, thought sho
should accept her cousin'o invitations
and help ontertain his guest, though
sho folt a twingo of reproach at so
much frivolity, and once wondered
how Mr. Gront would act, in cnao ho
wero along. In truth Mr. Gtoat would
not have taken well nt all in that gny
company. Miss Norwood, for tho
first time, had met in Mr. Malmsey a
man of tetters in tho grab of a man of
fashion, a philosopher who was also a
man of tho world, a genius who wns
perfectly unaffected and a gentleman
who, on fivo thousand a year, was
badly In debt and rcprehensibly un
concerned about it. For, as his in
timacy with Miss Norwood pro
gressed, Mr. Jack not only read
his MSS. to her (from his tender
and delicate magazine verses to
his red-hot political leaders), but con
fided to her his various scrapes, shifts
and difficulties, past and present. Ho
was a charming companion, and talk
ed about everything. He had been
everywhere, knew everybody, and
scorned to have sounded tho depths of
all things from tho White House kitch
en to tho philosphy of Kant. But ho
was inmeiunuiy ignorant oi many
names nnd dates and tacts generally,
and indeed seemed to glory in his
darkness. He said a mind burdened,
with too many facts waH a shallow
archipelago, where thoro wasn't enough
to navigate deep thoughts. In fact
Jock was a man of Idoas, with an un
scientific education. Mr. Groat, now,
was a man of scientific education,
nnd, sho said to herself for tho first
time, without a single natural idea.
Could a contrast bo moro perfect?
Sho know sho respected tho second,
and she felt sho ought to disapprove
the first.
Of course sho married Jack when ho
asked her, and oworo a refusal would
kill him and I know not what non
sense besides. How ho overcame her
scruples against his debt, his scepti
cism and his indifference to facts I
nover know. Probably ho vowed to
reform. and I knowed he owed nothing
when ho married. But when poor
Archibald called again with a wonder
ful lizard in alcohol ho had picked up in
Hartford, and found Bello nibbling
chocolates over a copy of Mrs. Brown
ing, nnd a huge bouquet of hothouse
flowers beside her, tho gift of Mr.
Malmsey, ho felt his case was lost.
This was before Mr. Jack had spoken,
though, to.be sure, ho lost no time.
"I thought," sayspoorsimploGroat
desperately, "you didn't care for for
such things." and he looked murder
ously at tho flowers.
"Why, indeed, I do," answered Mi
nerva sweetly. "Most women lovo
benuty and fragrance in floweis or in
books."
For tho chrysalis orthiRyoung wom
an's heart was unfolding nnd tho but
terfly was stirring within. What special
Providence is it that enwrnps tho
hearts of superior women wit h specious
meshes ol intellectual ambitious, with
threais of proud purposes and soli
tary triumphs and all sorts of frigid,
unshared pursuits until tho right timo
comes, and passion beats upon tho
web, and in the grateful heat, behold!
it snaps and dissolves, and out springs
the butterfly, all fluttering and trem
ulous, flitting from flower to choco
lates and Mrs. Browning say, till tho
man, its master, slips a tiny glittering
ring over its head and takes it to bo
fondled and petted forever after? Now,
hero was ono of the most deserving of
beings, industrious, honest, frngnl,
conscientious, praiseworthy in all
things; and yet see how tho crown of
his struggle was snatched from him.
To bo sure, Jack was the most lovea
ble, but whoso fault was that? Not
Jnck'sjnerit certainly; for ho never
tried to improve himself in I113 life,
while poor Archy was trying all the
time. Was Miss Belle's preferenco
just, all things considered? Oughtn't
she havo rewarded conscientious ef
fort and punished t areless, easy-going
indolence that took things ns they
canio and was only bright and pleas
ing because it couldn't help being? Yet
a'ni Hiiro Jack wiil mako tho best hus
batid. It's a hard question in ethics
band nature has much to answer for,
to bo sure. But poor old Groat!
EmviN Atweli
A Remarkable Story.
From the Cincinnati Times-Star.
Sitting in the office of the Comptrol
ler of tho Treasury tho other
day were two gentleman wail
ing for the preparation of some
document which the bureau was just
about completing. On tho wall op
posito hung a fine portrait of Salmon
P. Chase, the first Comptroller, show
ing him as a handsome, florid-faced
man, with beard and with head par
tially bald. "That dosn't look much
as he did a year ago," said one of
them noting the handsomo portrait.
"A year ago? Why, ho has been dead
theso ten years or more, hasn't he?"
"Yes, eighteen of them, Yet I saw
him only n year ago, with full beard
and 11 full head of hair. Very differ
ent from tho picture you see before
us." "What do you mean?" "Sim
ply this. I was present when his re
mains were taken from Oak Hill Ceme
tery for tho transmission to Cincin
nati a year ago. Although seventeen
years had elapsed, the remains wero
still in an almost perfect state. Tho
features were entirely distinguishable
to those who knew him in life. The
clothing was in a perfect state of pres
ervation. Tho principal changes
were that the faco was dark, and in
stead of being smooth, as was his
custom in life, it was covered with n
hill growth of beard, two inches or so
in length, and mixed with gray. The
head, which you seo was bald" in life,
was covered with a full suit of hair,
nartlv crav. Much obliged to vou
Air. Comptroller," and ho took tho
document handed him and was gone. '
China's Biggest' Opium Den.
From tho North China Herald.
The Nangin-taln.tho greatest opium
den in Chlnn.is situated in tho Fronch
concession in Shanghai, within n
stone's throw o! tho wall of tho na
tive city, within which tho opium
shops nro supposed to exist. Tho
thronga visiting it represent nil sta
tions of life, from tho coolio to tho
woalthy merchant or the small man
darin. It is with difllculty that one
gets insldo through tho crowds of peo
ple hanging round the door. Those
who havo not the rcquisito number of
copper ensh to procuro tho baneful
pipe watch with horrible wistfulness
each of tho moro affluent pnss in with
nervous, hurried stop, or totter out
wearing that peculiar dazed expres
sion which comes after the smoker's
craving has been satisfied and his.
transient pleasure has passed away.
Ono requires n strong stomach to
stand tho sickening fumes with which
tho air insido is thickened. Tho clouds
of smoke, tho dim light from the nu
merous colored lamps, thu numbers of
reclining forms with distorted faces
bent over the small flames at which
tho pipes aro lighted cause tho novice
a sickening sensation.
But as soon as tho oyo becomes ac
customed to tho scene it is noticed
that tho place is got up on an oxpen
Bivo scale. In tho centre of the lower
room hangs one of the finest of Chhieso
lamps, tho ceiling is of richly carved
wood, while the painted walls aro
thickly inlaid with a peculiarly mark
ed marble, which gives tho idon of un
finished landscape sketches. Nitmor-'
ous doors on all sides lead to the
smokers' npartments. In tho outer
portion ol tho building stands a
counter covered with littlo boxes
of tho drug ready for smok
ing, whilo a dozen assistants nro
kept busy handing out to thu
servants who wait upon tho habitues
of tho place. Tho averago dally re
ceipts aro said to be about 200.
Tho smoking apartments aro divided
into four classes. In the cheapest are
coolies who pay about ld. lor their
smoke. In tho dearest tho smoke
coste about 7d. Tho drug supplied in
each class is much tho same both in
quality and quantity; it is the differ
enco in tho pipes that regulates tho
price. The best kind nro made of
ivory, the stem being often inlaid with
Btones and rendered moro costly by
reason of elaborate carving; tho cheap
est kinds are mado simply of hard
wood.
The rooms also aro furnished ac
cording to class. In tho most oxpen
eivo the lounge upon which thosmoker
reclines is of lino velvet, with pillows
of tho same material; tho frames
of each couch aro inlaid with mother
ot peal and j.ule. and the whole air of
these rooms is one of sensuous luxury.
There aro also a number of private
rooms. In tho poorer section will be
seen many wearers of tho tattered
yellow and pray robes of Buddhist
and Tavist priests. Women form a
fair proportion of tho tmokers. Tho
common belief is that the opium
sleep is attended by a mild, ploasur
able delirium, with brief glances of
Elysium; but this is tho exception,
not tho rule. Peoplo smoke to.sajisfy
tho craving begotten ol provious indul
gence. There is accommodation for
150 smokers nt a time, nnd there is
seldom a vacancy very long. Tho
stream of smokers goes on fiom early
morning till midnight, when tho
plnco closes; tho clouds of umoko go
up incessantly all day long.
Swung Him Around.
"Bill," said a gentleman in Nash
ville to a negro stonemason who is
doing somo work for him, "You
promised to let me havo that founda
tion this week, and you nro not half
donoyet. Now, what made you lie
about it and put mo to all this
trouble?"
"Seo yer, boss; I didn't tell no lies;
but deem niggers, Jo and Jim, dnt
was gwino to wuk on it ben drunk
since las' week, an, I can't git no mo'
stonemasons. I tell yer, do way deso
fool niggers git drunk an' quit wuk
mus' bo stopped. Law jus' orter bo
fix so nigger can't buy nuthin' to git
drunk on; dat's what I 'onestly
b'liove."
"All right. Bill; wo will just go
to tlio polls to-morrow and voto to
put it out, so such men as Jo and
Jim cannot wasto their timo and
money, and we won't bo troubled by
their trilling ways."
"Look yer boss; sho'ly yo' ain't
gwineter to voto so po' nigger can't
get littlo drnp o whisky when ho been
hard workin fur weeks, and gets jus'
tired out, an' his muscles all gin' way,
an' his nerves all outer fix, and' him
jus putty nigh fagged out fur little
sperits. Sho'ly yo got mor' feolin' in
dat fur po nigser. Why, dat fix nigger
wus ofTn fo' do wall, w'en he couldn't
go out at night 'dout a permit, an'
couldn't get nary darp o' liquor 'dout
note from ol' mnrstcr. See yer, boss,
fo Lord's sake don't go voto takin'
way cullud man's priviliges jus' causo
rain spilt dis job. Been too wet to
wuk anyhow, an' dem niggers Jo and
Jim been yer every morniu' tryin' to
wuk nnd make a littlo money tos'port
dero fam'Iies. Dem two o' do bes't
nigoers I ever seed lay a rock, an' doy
neber cits drunk w en dey can git to
wuk. Dey neber gits rale drunk no
how: course doy takes littlo drap now
an' den to keep out do damp, but,
neber takes too much. Bos, I neber
saw ono dem niggers drunk yet, an
dey been wurkin' fur me lo" years
como next January. I neber seed dem
niggers take but ono drink, boss, an'
dat wus ono Sa'day night, w'en wo
was goin home. It po'd down rain
an' we wus wot to do skin, an' boss
we jus' went in, an' w'en I ax dem nig
gers w'at dey take, boss, doy bofe say
dey don't want nuthin' but little weak
lemonade light sweet. Boss, dem de
two steadies' bes' niggers I eber seed
nnyhow. Don't yo go vote fur 'mend
in' do by-laws jus' cause yo' wall ain't
done. I'm rushin' her right on, an' I
be ready now fo' yo'can git dem brick
layers yer. Boss, don't yo vote fur
folks' liberty way liko dax. It eho'Jy
ain't." '
Why Ho Wont to Canada.
M. Quad In tho Detroit Free-Press.
It was two minutes after tho tri
angle sounded beforo thosmoko in Par
adise hall would permit the mombers
to seo each other. When it had nt
last thinned out, Brother Gardner
said:
"Nicodeinus Pembroko Scott, a lo
cal member of this lodge, hns crossed
into Cnnndy an will not icappear
among us. Fur do Ins' threo months
I havo bin expectln' somo slch climax,
an Uis mawni'n, when a messenger
informed me dat ho had disappeared,
artcr failin in nn attempt to shoot
hissclt wid an ola hos pistol, I war not
a bit surprised. He leaves a wife an'
two chil'en an' about fifty creditois.
"What sent him oil? Do samo rea
son dnt am dnily workin' to bring
about nuodder panic do Banio
reasons dnt explain dc hundreds ob
bizness failures do samo reasons dat
am cripplin' do efforts of thousands
of workin men to securo homes of
doir own family extravagance. No,
you can't call itextravaganco; foolory
am a better name for it. I'p to a
v'ar ago Brudder Scott was jobbin'
arotin' and mrkm' $1 a day. Den ho
got a sltuasliun by which ho aimed
$14 per Week. Ho was poo' off in do
hous9 and had debts hangln' ober
him, but heuh was a chanco to get
ebon. How was it improved? In less
dan ono month his wife was rigged out
in a $20 dress, 12 shillin' kids, a $5
hat and nn opera fan. Ho had no
poaco ob mil." onlcss ho obeyed her.
In six weoks sho became too high ton
ed to wash an' iron fur odor folkses.
In two months sho wanted a better
house, wid a rol parlor enrpet an'
cano scat cha'rs all arotin' do room.
In threo months she had to havo a
black Bilk dress, gold bracelets, a tony
bonnet, kid shoes, an' gold fillin in
her teef.
"Dnt foolery has reaped its harvest.
Do husband lound dat ho was runnin'
behind, his homo wns belli' neglected,
his wlfo was boin' gossipod about an'
in despair ho has picked up his feet
an' Blid out. It was do natural re
sult. I tell you.my frens, de tomfool
cry of de women of dis kentry am
strainin on do chalk lino till do'cord
can't staii' mush 1110', an' it am high
time dat somobodysets hisfootdown.
Do man who aims 525 per week has
somehow got do ideah into IiIh head
dat do world expects him to dress his
wife as if ho aimed a banker's profits.
Wives of men who can't keep up wid
deir honso rent am enntenn' up nn'
down wid sealskin sacqucB an' $0
shoes. Wives of men who havo to
dodge do butcher an' grocer an' tailor
am now selectin' fall carpets an' or
derin' $30 lambrequins. Wivos of
men who couldn't raiso $50 at do
banks to save der necks am rushin'
to balls an' partlos.an' havin' deir ex
pensive dresses described fui do bene
fit of do public.
"De so-called tiociety of do aige am
composed of falso hnir.falso protenscs,
debt-dodging, nn' baso decenshmt.
Our rich peoplo am distinguished by
their plain dress an' quiet manners.
Do snides an' dudes nn' dodos do
nil do swnggerin'.rtifch on all do colors,
nn' monopolize do biggest sheer ol the
street. You wnit! De man who lives
fur anoder ten y'ars will h'nr sunthin'
drap, an' arter do drap lakes place do
thousands of idiots who now feol
ashamed to admit dat dey doan'
keep but two servant gals in do house
will go back to deir cook stoves an'
wash tubs an take deir proper places
in do purceshun."
The Generous Stranger Makes
Money.
From uicItoH ton Courier.
There nro hardly fewer ways of
making money than of spending it,
and thu Editor heaid tho other day of
a niothod which was wholly now to
him. A visitor to tho sanctum re
marked that on the train running
from Boston to a certain suburb
there was frequently to be seen an act
ive and wide-awnko man who has de
vised an ingenious method of turning
to a profit the misfortunes of his
neighbors.
"The other night," the narrator said,
"therowas a man half drunk who had
no ticket and who found himself short
by three cents when it came to a cash
payment. There ivns considerable
discussion nnd wrangling over tho
matter, when up jumped tho smart
man and produced tho required
three cents. Ho blustered con
siderably, declaring that he wasn't
going to see any man put oil just for
coming short tlueo cents, and mean
while he quietly took tho ten-cent re
bate check which tho conductor gives
for a cash faro and pocketed it with
out remark. Thu generosity ot tho
passenger moved another man to bo
a rent short, and the enterprising
stranger secured a second rebate check.
Tho second impecunious passenger,
however, was moro sober than the
first, and before tho end of tho ride ho
had managed to figuro up in his own
mind that the favor ho had accepted
had col him ten cents. He endeavor
ed to get possession of tho check, but
the speculator knew his business nnd
would no givo it up." The scheme is
one of thoso ingenious, petty, tricky
methods ot catching stray pennies to
which wo aro accustomed to hear tho
word Yankeo applied in its unpleas
ant signification.
Surgical Instruments at Pom
peii. Homo DNpntch to London News.
Tho excavations that aro being car
ried forward at Pompeii aro giving
most interesting results. In tho be
ginning ot the month a wooden case
was dug up, containing a complete
sot of surgical instruments, many of
which aro similar to those used
in tho present day. A few days
later four beatuiful silver urns of con
siderable height wero found together
with four smaller cups, eight open
vases, four dishes ornamented with
foliage and the figures of animals, nnd
a beautiful statue of Jupiter seated
on his throne. Besides theso silver
objects 6eyeral gold ornaments wero
also found, Bitch as earrings and rings.
Tho excavations are being lapidly
pushed forward.
Rattle Gnako Poison.
From tho riilhiJclphla Herald.
On August 20, 18P3, a G-year-oId
son of Georgo Putnam, who lives at
Stony Ford, Pennsylvania, was re
turning home from driving tho cows
to pasturo, and stopped by tho rood
sido to pick somo berries. Ho won
barefooted and suddenly felt n sharp
sting on tho Instep of his left foot.
Ho ran crying home, and told his
mother that he had scratched his foot
an a briar. Tho foot had begun 10
swell, and his mothor picked from the
flesh what sho at first supposed to
bo n briar, but as tho foot continued
to swell and tho boy's sufferings were
intenso tho alarming fnct wa appar
ent that ho had been bitten by some
poisonous snake, and that tho sup
posed briai was one of its fangs thus
had burled itself in the wound and had
been pulled from the snake's jaw.
Mrs. Putnam called her husband,
who was at work near tho house, and
alarmed other members of the family.
A live chicken was cut hi two nnd the
wnrm flesh applied to tho wound.
Whisky was given to the boy in large
quantities, and a messenger was dis
patched for a doctor. A member of
tho family went to tho spot where tho
boy said ho had first felt tho sharp
sting, and found a rattlesnake coiled
near tho roadsido. Tho snake was
killed and one of its fangs was found
to bo missing, which left 110 doubt of tho
nature ot tho boy's Injury. Thesnakn
was cut open and held on the wound
in tho boy's foot, which had swollen to
double its natural size. The suflerlusrs
of tho boy wero so great that he could
scarcely be held down in tho bed by
two mem Tho doctor arrived and
cauterized tho wound, but said it was
too late and that tho boy would die.
Tho swelling had extended up the leg
to his waist, and tho leg becamo spot
ted. Antidotes prescribed by the doc
tor wero administered, but tho whisky
treatment was also adhered to. Tho
boy'a body turned black, but after
threo days of tho most torribto agony,
tho dwelling began to go down, and in
a week tho victim was able to get
about. In a month's timo nil tho ef
fects ot tho poison seemed to havo dis
appeared, and tho boy was as well as
over.
On the 20th of August, 18S-1, ho was
seized with a sharp pain in his foot,
which began to swell, and in a short
time his leg and foot wero swollen to
double their size, and became spotted,
as they had on the dav tho boy was
bitten by tho snake. Ho experienced
tho samo symptoms, and suffered for
threo days almost as much agony as
ho had tho year before. When the
b welling again wentdown the pain sub
sided and tho symptoms disappeared.
Regularly on the 20th of Augnstovery
year since tho same symptoms have
appeared, on tint nuthority of a well
known citizen of Tioga County, and
thoir recurrenco this yenr was mnrktd
by moro than usual pain and swelling,
tho spotson tho leg nnd body strikingly
resembling that of nrattlcsnnke. Tho
sufferings of tho boy wore bo Intense
that ho was not expected to pars
through them with his life, but nt last
accounts ho was slowly recovering.
It is said that thero aro three simi
lar cases on record ono of a girl who
was bitten by a rattlesnake in Liv
ingston County, New York, thirty
years ago, and who for twenty-five
years, on tho anniversary ot the day
on which sho wus bitten, was subject
to thu sumo symptons as attended
the original poisoning. She died 01
the twenty-fifth recurrenco of tho ter
rible symptoms.
A Curious Case.
,-
Dr. Gober, the physician at the Pen
itentiary in Frankfort, Ky., relates a
remarkable caso in tho history of his
professional practice. Ho says that
two years ngo Eli Lucas, colored, came
to the Penitentiary from Louisville
under a lifo sentence for murder, and
that until within six months past he
was healthy and capable of perform
ing tho heaviest labor. At that date
ho manifested extreme i.crvousuess,
and would shrink audcroiich Into cor
ners ns if experiencing great fright, He
soon lost tho uso ot every member of
his body and then fell into a heavy
stupor that evinced tho loss of all sen
sation. Inthisconditloii.ndendmanto
all appearances, except an occasional
turning of the head, he remained until
recently, when ho showed tho first
symptoms of returning hfo by making
a feeble effort to mutter. A few weeks
ago there was an apparent improve
ment, and the doctor pronounced
him restored, sound in body and
mind. Tho negro says he does not re
member of his illness. Ho thought he
had been in the hospital but a day or
two, and was surprised to awaken
from an April nap to learn thnt he
was in the middle of tho month of
October. Tho treatment wns address
ed to the brain as the seat of the nerve
centres.
In venting the Telephone.
From tho New York Journnl ol Commerce.
A correspondent inquires what led
to the invention of tho telephone. We
submitted tho letter to an expert elec
trical engineer, nnd ho sends us the
following reply: "In reply to the ques
tion as to what led to tho invention
of the telephone, I beg to say that, in
the discovery of telegraphy by Morse
while crossing the ocean in a steam
ship, we find a most rapid means of
communication. Experiments in the
lino of scientific research a little later
on, and wo find tho discovery of a
means for conveying musical scum's
or notes, upon tho ordinary telegraph
key and sounder (seo Scientific Amsri
can for illustrated article on this sub
ject early in 18711. Then wo have
Gray's harmonic telegraph nnd Bell's
speaking telephone. The discovery ol
the M orso system of telegraphy led as
much to tho invention of tho tele
phone as anything, because wo can
use (and did use) "tho ordinary tele
graph key and sounder to convey
sounds and speech (somewhat imper
fectly, owing to impronerndjustment)
over an ordinary teleg'raph line."
