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A Romantic Affair.
"Yes, my dear, U'b a caso, n decid
ed one. Heart, or whatever stands
In its plnco, very much affected: but,
let us hope, not incurably bo," said
Kate Gordon, slinking her head with
mock gravity to hor cousin Lillian,
who turned fromtho window, out of
which she had been gazing, and look
ed inquiringly at tho speaker.
"I saw him over your shouldor,"
continued Kate, "as ho walked slow
ly away up tho street, and I also snw
the blush that instantly crimsoned
your pretty fuco(how do you manage
to have that blush como nt your
cull?)andthelight that sprang toyour
lovely eyes. Again you're in love, or
fancying yourself in love, Lilinndiav
"ng already forgotten tho young ar
tist that sailed for homo
only a month ago; nnd this
timo it is with a poor professor
of music in a great city, where thero
aresufllcicut of his kind to convert a
great country into a musical Bed
lum." "Why, Kate!"
"I'm sure I don't know why," said
Kate, pretending to take tho ex
clamation for nn interrogation,
"unless it is because ho has large,
dark eyes,a flnoform.nn aristocratic
face, a refined air generally, and last,
but not least, appears to be highly
sensible of your fascinations. And,
then, you've always been rendy to
fall in love with any interesting per
son that came in your way ever
since your first teen, especially when
distance lent enchantment to tho
view.' ''
"What a romance, or semblance of
a romance, to adopt your own mode
of speaking, you are making out of
nothing, Kate," says tho younger
girl, with a toss rl her chestnut
braids.
"Out of nothing!" repeats the other.
"Given a pretty, a very pretty girl
watching ut her window, half-hidden,
in the regular poetical style, by its
lace curtains, ut niuo in tho morn
ing and four in the afternoon
a handsome-, a very handsome
young man, coming out at the door of
'a dwelling apposite punctually nt tho
first honrnndgoingin punctually nt
the Inst, each timo casting profound
ly respectful but unmistakably ten
der glances nt tho watcher in tho
' window. A pink rosobud in her light
brown hair in the morning is dupli
cated in his buttonholo in tho even
ing. She stops one wintry day at
tho comer of tlio street to buy a
bunch of violets, nnd, unconscious,
of course, that she is observed, press
es them to her lips. Thnt same night
u mysterious messenger leaves an
exquisite basket filled with the
fragrant tilings at her door. No
doubt tho poor young professor
went without his lunch for a week to
buy them, for hothnuso violets and
exquisite baskets"
"Kate! How can you?"
"Because I can," answers Kate
coolly, "and u hat's more, lean ask
how is it all to end? I know it is
nothing but romance on your part,
but it may be leality on his, and al
low mo if your delicate sensibility
will admit of it. to recall to your
mind the fable of the boys and the
rogs. where what was fun ononoside
was dentil on the other, and to kind
ly suggest that you find some new
occupation at the hours of nine and
four."
Kate I was never morn deeply im
pressed in nil my life, that is, never
as deeply impressed thnt is oh,
shawl you know what I mean,
'on't you believe me?"
Disregarding tho question, Kate
went on: "And granting that you
aro in earnest this time, which
I don't grunt, by tho by.
nothing good could como of it. Your
positions in life are far apart, that
is. socictv decrees that they are, uid
being a woll-brcd foreigner, ho no
doubt ncepts such a decree us in
evitable, and unless you mpet him
halfway (you have already token
the first step), he will never go be
yond the tender glancound the basket
bf flowers. And besides all that, j'ou
will remember thnt Clnro de Vero did
not monopolizo nil the. pride. Tho
ycoinonhudhis share, and tho better
'part, to my way of thinking. And,
if I'm not mistaken, your hundsomo
professor is just u proud.''
"Kate, how do you know all this?"
nsks Lillian, rising nnd coining to
stand beforo her. "You say 'no
doubt' mid 'if I'm not mistaken,'
but the tone of your voice sovb you
know."
"Because, my dear, while you have
been dreaming I linvo been acting.
I felt a sorrowful interest in tho poor
fellow as soon as I discovered that
you hod mndo up your mind to look
at him, and solwentto work and
found out all about him."
Down on the floor beside her snnk
pretty Lillian, saying as sho seized
one hand: "Go on, Kate; that's a
darling."
"A dnrling?" now long will it be
beforo I'm a hateful old thing, ono of
vour fnvorito names for me, though
I am but two years older than your
self. But I'Jl go on if you'll tuko
your sweet self off tho train of my
new wrapper. It's too young to bo
wrinkled.
"That ho is a professor of music
you discovered yourself at the Luc-
trolls', where tho dull-hnired and on-vlously-comploxipned
Miss Gertrude
condescends to bo taught bv him.
To mo belongs tho credit, if it bo a
credit, of finding out all tho rest, and
at tho risk of shocking you, you aro
such a 'mimosa sensitive,' my denr.
I will proceed to tell youhow I did it,
I mado friends, at tho confectioner's
ono day, with his landlady, that fun
ny littl'o Frenchwoman with thocork
Bcrcw curls and tho very much up
tilted nose, and I told her" Lillian
mndo iv eresture of impatience. "Well,
I'll skip that and como to what sho
told mo. Now, what should you
guess his nnmo wns? His first name,
of course, for it couldn't bo expected
thnt you could guess, his last."
"Wnlter, Hubert, Reginald, Rod
erick, Sebastian."
"Wrong, every one. Its. Ilobort,
not a bad nnme, as names go, thnt
is if they don't shorten it to Bob,
nnd it harmonizes very well with his
last nnme, which is Lenr. And Iio'b
poor, ns I said before, so poor that
he and the traditional church mouse
mirrht shnko hands, nnd call each
other 'brother.' if the tnouso hap
pened to bo that kind ofomouso
is part French, part German; goes
nowhere but where duty cnlls; sings
in the solitudo of his own shabby
room, 'Ach! wars t du nur mein
eigen.' nnd songs of that ilk, as you
linvo heard, and is fust fulling head
over heels in love with my gontlo
cousin Lillian, nn exceptionally pret
ty girl, who really don't nnd nover
would euro two straws about him,
being at thocoreof her heart devoted
to the purple and fine linen of life,
nnd only unmarried as yet because,
as sho herself hns confided to mo,
none of her admirers could offer a
million."
".Stuff and nonsense," says tho
"gcatlo" cousin in no gentle voice, ns
sho rises from her lowly position, nnd
leaning her elbow on tho mantle and
her head upon her hand, looks down
where sho bus been looking up. "You
know nothing about it, Kate. I
never, never, nover wns so attracted
toward any ono as I am towards
Robert why couldn't it linvo been
Rudolph or Reginald so much more
poetical, you know towards Robert
Lear. He's just like some one out of
a poem, Sir Lancelot, for instance, so
handsome, so melancholy, so grace
ful." "Lilian, what would your father
and mother nnd sisters nnd brothers
say if they heard you? They uro
Vere do Verish to the last extreme.
I beg your pardon for smilling, my
denr; but to mo the Vere de Vero
business as done in America is inex
pressibly comic. I know I don't do
servo to belong to the family, for I
can't for the life of.mo forget that our
greut-grnndpnrents sold tobneco
retail! However your immediate
kin would net ns though they owned
half-a-dozen coronets nmong them,
nnd drive the musical upstart whoso
grandmother actually wore ono to
suicide or worse. As for you, my
dear, they'd shut you up in your
own room nnd give you nothing but
beefstnke and fried potatoes for a
month. Think of that! What a
dreadful punishment for ono who is
as fond of broiled birds, roust turkey
and cocoanut tarts as you are."
"lou nioy laugh as much as you
please. Kate," says Lillian with a
Irown. "You always were a matter-of-fact
creature, with not a bit of
sentiment about you. You cannot
understand tho feeling that sprang
up in my heart the very first mo
ment I beheld him. Hndlyour for
tune" "It's only a few thousand, my
dear," interrupted Kate, "and you
know your own is a million. But, to
bo serious, if you had it you'd bo
looking for two millions instead of
one. There, there, don't burst into
tears. 1 will, I vow 1 will bo serious
this time. And I osk you, granting
that you are willing to admit him in
to the favored circle that pays you
homngo, how'is tliat admittance to
bo managed without your overstep
ping the bounds of maidenly proprie
ty? To be frank with vou, ho believes
ns 1 know you needn t shrug your
shoulders as I know, I suy, thnt
your interest in him is only i. girlish
fancy, nnd tho little Frenchwoman
tells me sho is in his confidence, be
ing an old trieud think of that, a
woman who takes boarders, that in
a month or so, to break tho fetters
your Witchery luu thrown around
him, he returns to his own country."
"Kate, have yo no feeling? Do you
want to break my heart? Yes, break
my heart. You need not look at mo
in thnt incredulous way. When you
speak of his going away1 forever I
feel ns though nil tholightand beauty
wero faded out of my life. And if nt
this moment ho nnd a millionaire
stood"
"No rash vows, Lillian," interrupt
ed Kate.
"I must nnd will bid hope. I must
nnd will, I say. Kate, howshalll do
it!"
"Faith, I don't know," says hor
cousin, with a delicious mimicry of
the broguo and an air of meek resig
nation, "unless, mo denr, you send
him a valontine,"
On the evening of the 15th of Feb
runry there was a large and fashion
able party at tho LuttrclPs. And
"queen rose of the rosebud gnrden
of girls" wns pretty LiliionCreighton.
So thought, though not precisely
in those words, for ho reud no verses
with the exception of comic ones. Al
len Ingram, owner oftho yacht Faro
well, tho fast horso Neverbeat, a
town-houseunrivnledinmngniflcenco,
- . ...-- -. ,
a country houso unequnled in splen
dor, nnd thousands of his bunker's
and elsewhere.
With a world of admiration in his
very light blue eyes ho followed tho
"queen roso" about, happy to play,
for tho time being, the part of her
slave.
. Sir. Ingram was small nnd ignoblo
in person but his fortune wns grnnd.
Hisoyos wero faded, but tho dia
monds that awaited his brido wero
bright. His brain and voico wero
weak but his family was strong. On
ly for a few momonts thnt evening
did he loavo tho enchantress, and
then it was to seek tho supper-room
and tonst hor In sparkling chain-
pagno.
At thnt timo Robert Lenr left Ills
Beat nt tho piano. Lillian's compan
ions wero clustered togother boforo a
picture at the other end of the room
nnd sho stoou aione, anu witn his
proud face all aglow ho Bought her
side, and in a deep, rich voico hesnld,
"Blessed forever bo the good St. Val
entine. Ho brought me your precious
mossngo this morning, and my henrt
lins danced in my breast over sinco I
road tlieso words:
Nny. Il.v not Tom the spell of love
licnt 1 ohottld pine In vnln rejrret,
Hut stay niid con tills lennon o'er
Fiilnt henrt ne'er won fair luily yot.
It wub a verso from a valentine, a
violet scented valentine, that ho had
received that day.
Lillian Crcighton looked nt lilm
with huughtv surnriso in her faco,
wrapped her white- satin cloak about
nor as tuougli sue loic a buuucii cum
in tho nir, nnd turned nway.
Rack to his place, tho plnco ho wns
paid to occupy, tho young mun went,
wliilo all tho brightness faded from
his face, mid tho beautiful dream that
ho had been dreaming so
long died
out in utter darkness.
"Could I linvo been mistaken?" ho
murmured.
"Not about the valentine," said a
low, sweet voice, and looking up ho
met Kate Gordon's lovely, pitying
brown eyes, "notabouttln' valentine,
but about everything else. What to
you has been bo borious, to hor has
only counted as ono of her many ro
mantic affairs. The reality of her
life will bo Mr. Allen Ingram or ono
very like him."
As sho censed speaking and turned
away, Robert Loor flung back tho
long hair from his brow, nnd striking
with firm powerful touch somo
grnnd, full chords, burst into a
triumphant ninrch. a march that
said to atleost two listeners: "Slight
wub tho wound that I foared would
bo so deep, forfooble, most feeble, wub
the hand thatstruck it. And though
for ono short moment I faltered, I
lost no strength, but strong in heart
and spirit as over, I again tako my
place in tho grand nrmy oftho battle
of life."
And fitting rewnrd awaited so truo
a soldier, for the very next 14th of
February ho held a beautiful, brown
eyed woman in his nrms, close to his
henrt, nnd whispered, "Many a grief
is a joy in disguise. Had it not been
for false Lillian's fulso Valentino, I
should nover have won truo Kato for
my wife." Murgnret Eytinge.
Ynwniiiff
From tlio London Olobo.
It is now somo years sinco Mr. Al
fred Collier wi;oto his yawning song
an invitation to drowsiness noc lees
potent than tho best after-dinner
speecli of a magistrate or tlio good
old three-decker sermon, Yawning
has gonorally beoo associated with
comedy. Thero hnvo ever been
coarso wags who, in referonco to tho
well-known "catching" power of
yawning' have evolved tho proverb
"What is mineisyawn" n confusion
of "mourn" nnd "tuum" only defen
sible in tho case of a sleep-walker.
Rut reports from Cambridge City, in
Indiana, put a tragic color upon tills
institution. In that town ono Mr.
Lucky, having indulged in a large
yajvn, ruptured boiuo oftho cords in
tho vertebras and "remains at pres
ent in a critical condition." Tins re
grettable incident should bo a warn
ing to nil lazy folk. Yawning is rt
vice which is of nil vices most sym
pathetic. Tho terriblo maxims
about "examples" apply to it with
fatal pertinence. Is thero not even
the enso of the lounger in tho British
museum who, stnnding opposite to
ono of tho triumphs of Assyrian
sculpture, was provoked by tho si
lenco and the attitude of the mon
ster's jaw, into what is believed to
have been tho most capacious yawn
on record? Still, tho yawn must be
recognized ns a valuable social in
strument. Wlint is so convenient to
get rid of u wenrisomo intruder ns
that little motion of the hand to tho
mouth, which, like a chorus lady's
costume, suggests whnt it does not
reveal. It is u standing maxim in
tho hand books of "Etiquotto for tho
drawing-room" that yawning must
on no account be permitted. As an
offense it is ranked with tho kindred
offenses of eating soup hastily or
shovelling pens into the mouth with
n knife. Rut not nil the muxiius of
huml books will over ostracize that
most convenient form of ilismissul
which intimates by a yawn whnt
words cannot express.
A Mine Museum Trick.
Electrical Review.
An energetic, business-like man en
tered tho factory oftho C. & C. Mo
tor company, New York, recently
and in nn off-hnnd manner that near
ly paralyzed thomnnager.romnrked.
"I desire to purchuso an electric mo
tor to run my perpetual motion
machine. I a in the tlio proprietor of
a dime museum in this city." The
contract was mado, and tho visitors
to a prominent dime museum in this
city aro now treated to a view of tlio
on and only perpetual motion
mnchino in which the concealed power
is furnished by nn electric motor run
by storage batteries.
How Mr. lVlilto Settled.
From tlioN'ew York Hun.
After explaining that his bo n John
wns threatened with a broach of
promise Buit, and that tho girl in tho
enso lived only half a mile awny and
willing to bo talked to, tho old mun
naked me to go over with him ami
witness his efforts to effect n settle
ment. Wo found tho girl at homo,
nlsoherfnthornitd mother. They
wore all shelling corn in tlio kitchen,
and Hetty, ns tlio girl was named,
looked anything hut broken-hearted.
She was twonty-throo years old,
weighing 105 pounds, nnd wob in
clined to aantiment. After greetings
nnd a genTrul introduction, my
friend, whose name was Jeremiah
White, led off with:
"Now, then, thnr oln't no uso in
chasing rabbits all over the woods
to find ono In a trap. Dotty, you
and John hev busted up."
"Ynas, but it hain't my fault," bIio
replied.
"No. indeed," added the mother.
"Ho busted of IiIb own nccord."
"Reckon ho did." put in Hetty's
fnther, ns he laid down a half-shelled
car to light his pipe.
"When folks is courtin' they often
bust up," observed Jerry ns he got
comfortably seated. "They git jeal
ous. They get sick of each other.
They git outer sorts. Mebbo ono
hns a bad breath."
"Yaas, Jerry, I'm follcrin' ye,"
snid Betty's father.
"And when thoy bust up tho best
wny is to bo sensible. John don't
want no row with Dotty, and Betty
don't want to row with John."
"No more, 1 don't," murmured tho
fair one.
"John isn't fitten for you, Ret.
He's all for mewls, nnd whisky, and
tobacco, and fighting; nnd you is nil
for pootry. nnd stars, and clouds,
nnd lloworB. You is too high-souled
for John."
. "Shuck my hido if that hain't sol"
cxclaimod Hetty's fnthcr.as ho whack
ed tho edge of tho tub with a big ear
ol corn.
Betty simpered and giggled, nnd
tho mother looked pleased.
"That's why you busted," softly
explained my friend. "Hud to come.
Couldn't help it. When ono is too
good for 'tothern bust always comes.
Say, Betty, Icouldn'tsleeplastnight
for thinking of that yorse you wrote
for my old woniun whon sho was sick
last year. I'll bet 1 ivpeated it over
a thousand times."
"Oh, In! Mr. White!" giggled Betty.
"YuiiB, it run in my head till I
couldn't Bleep. I kept saying:
"OKI Mrs. "While in very nick,
Ami inebljo nhe will illc;
Alllioiicli to Hftvn lierfrom tli
Tlio doctor lmrd will try." '
"All, Betty, if I could writo such
poetry as that I wouldn't bo slosh
ing around hero uo grent while, and
you kin jigger to that!"
"Honest Injun?" bIio asked, hold
ing nn cur of corn in either bund;
"Dead sure. And now, Dotty, be
ing ns you w'nr to good for John,
nnd being ns you vo busted up.
I'm going to send you over them
two blnck hogs and geese us a pres
ent."
"Is it for her wounded feelins?"
asked Dotty's father.
"Kinder tliut way, and kinder be
causo she's so good."
"Dot's cried a heap, and bIio'b lost
lotsof timo," put in hor mother, nnd
you'd bettor throw in that ar' pea
cock." "Darned if I don't, Hunner! He's
the nicest bird in tlio country, nnd a
peddler offered me ?10 for him, but
chuck my hido if I don't throw him
in!"
"Then 1 won't sue," said Dotty.
"No, Hlie won't," added tlio father.
"Then it's nil settled befo' this
gent, who is tho witness." continued
Mr. White. "I'm glad on't. It's
tho proper way. When folks lovo
nnd bust up, ns thoy sometimes will,
thur's a proper way to settlo dam
ages. We've settled, and I'll Send
the stuff right over, nnd Dot will bo
fr?e to make up to that feller who is
selling fanning mills up at tho corn
ers, nnd who'll bo down this way to
morrow." Resuscitation After Donth.
Baltimore Amerlain.
Tho Medical News hns an articlo
upon resuscitation after death which ,
if extensively read by tho laity, is
suro to occasion doubt and anxiety
in tlio minds of mnny persons. Afti'r
showing that two kinds of death
somatic and cellular tako plnco bo
foro life bus complotely faded fr om
the body to be recalled, the article
points out tho importanco of phy
sicinus properly distinguishing be
tween tlio two nnd renewing and
abandoning their effortsnt resuscita
tion as circumstances direct. So
mntic death may bo briefly described
ns the failure of the main organs of
the body, tho brain, heart, and
lungs, to perform tlioir functions,
wliilo cellular death is where tho cells
or tissues of the body die. Dotli may
occur at tho same time, but, tho
writer urges, the former mny tuko
plnco without the latter, and often
does, and in nil such eases thero is a
chunco of resuscitating tlio dead
person until cellular death super
venes. Authentic instances of such
resuscitation are given nmong oth
ers, tho ense of a man whose body
remnined nt tho bottom of a shallow
stream for fully half an hour beforo
it was taken out. He was resuscita
ted after several hours of unremit
ting labor. Dut a mororoniarknblo
case was that vouched for by l'rof.
Armor. A friend ofhis died from In
dian hemp poisoning. The physi
cians racked liis brain for more tliuu
un hour for some means of restoring
his friend to life while ho lay dead in
his presence nnd at length callod to
aid a sturdy negro, xiiey worKeu
manfully for four hours. During nil
that timo thero wub not tho slightest
sign of life, but at itB expiration a.
Blight movement of tlio lips was do-
f tected, and tho stothoBcopcdiscloscd
"an occasional, light, mufllcd Bound
over tho heart." Their efforts woro
redoubled with tho result that
respiration nnd circulation wero very
Blowly re-established, and conscious
ness returned after ninny hours. Tlio
man lived for many jours afterward
Indeed, up to a fewyiars ngo, nnd
wns n prominent NoV.JBglnnd bunk
er. tf
A Woman on KUslnp.
It hns been tho gallant habit of
men, from immemorial, to comment;
unfavorably on tho hnblt which
women hnvo of indulging in tho ubc
less distribution of kisses nmong
tliemsolves, but it is not often thnt
tho animadversion of tho erring box
Itself Ih visited on the buuio theme.
A criticnl young lady, however, wns
recently heard oxpntiuting vigorous
ly ngninst this senseless ctmtom.
"Do, for goodness sake," bIio re
marked, "r.ny something about tho
silly wny that women havoof kissing
each other overy timo they get to
gothor. If twenty women wero to
meet in tlio street overy lust ono of
them would have to kiss tlio other
nineteen, nnd there would bo lot me
gee 380 kisses wnrso than thrown
away, for probably in ten minutes
tlio whole party would separate in
to squnds mid go off talking about
ouch other. When you sco ono of
tlieso very violontiniscollnnpouskifls-
ovory thing-within-sight kind of wom
an, it is ftnfo to net her own down ns
u fraud, which bIio generally Ib. If I
hud my way, kissing should bo con
llnod to family uso, and lor medicinal
purposes. Now don't jou nutmy
nnmo to nil this or I will kiss you
right on Washington street tlio very
first chunco I have." Then tho tnlk
run off on other kinds of kissing, nnd
a story was told of a, young lady
who kissed a baby hold in itslnthcr'8
nrms; then in a moment of temporary
insanity or obstruction sho Btood
oo tiptoe and listed tho pnpa.
Realizing instantly whnt a dreadful
thing slio had done, sho wheeled
around nnd kissed tlio baby's mnm
mu, who wob standing near, nnd ro
tircdin goodorder. Her satirical sister
squelched tho poor young woman as
thoy left tho houso by asking her if
sho dind't wnnt to go buck and fin
ish it by kissing tlio hired girl. In
dinnnpolis Journal.
Criticism of Science,
Men of science may, as individuals,
fall into may errors. Thoy may fail
to realizo tlio truo dignity of their
calling; thoy muy bo unduly swayed
by party spirit or by personal alms;
thoy may bo unworthy ministers of
tho truths which they deliver. Hut
science, whnt was it but truth? And
what is tho sc'ontilic spirit but tho
spirit thnt bows to truth? To all
u'ho aro dissatisfied with the present
currents of thought wo would, there
fore, any:
"Criticise men ns much ns you
pleiiBo. Point out their errors, their
lnilingfl, intellectual and moral, with
nil needful severity. Hold up tho
standard by which you think their
lives and thoughts ought to bo gov
orned. Criticise theories, too. Lot
nothing pnss unchallenged or un
scriitinized thnt you are not satisfied
is true. Let no glamour of groat
names, no popularity
of certain
modes of thought, doter
you from
expressing your dissent irom what
you do not beliove.
Hut do not put yourselves hope
lessly in tlio wrong by attacking
science, or by nbusing tho scientific
spirit. You will gnin nothing by it,
but will merely darken your under
standings, nnd shut yourselves out
from tho light that is ready to light
en overy man that comes into tho
world. Science will abide. Ithnsitii
root in the everlasting rocks and
draws its ailment from universal na
ture Tho seen ti fie spirit will abide,
admonishing men of tlioirerrors, nnd
lending them into all truth. It is
wiso to bo reconciled to such powers
ns these; oven now when you aro in
tho way with them make terms of
penco nnd find rest to your souls."
W. D. Lo Suer in Popular Monthly.
Uo Kind to the Children.
Wallace says tho mind of man is
bo grent that henceforth his "selec
tion" will replace the priuuovnl pow
er of "natural selection," so that it
is possible the o trtli will bear only
cultivated plants nnd tuino animals
and Fredorico, Hremor thinks man
mny possbly crento an ennobled ruco
of annuals" by tho education of a
kind gentlo treatment. With whnt
potency, then, comes this truth to
tho education of children. Here, in
deed, is the richest reward of kind
ness. And how is it possible to look
on a child without being touched by
tho pathos of its helplessness? How
fearful hurshness is, or cold neglect,
nnd how dreadful ore angry punish
ments to tlieso little beings who cling
to us like clusters in a vinol It is by
our good juices thoy must bo ripened,
and if tlio vine bo bad, what hope
for them? And, as before, I have
said that there is great vonity and
conceit in unkindness, bo tlio kind
ness of tho love of parent or teacher
will root well in humility. For who
can look on a child without jiwo, or
compuro its needs and his own at
tuinments without a fear?
How to Kill n Ilcnr.
From tlio 1'etr York Sun.
"Yes. I 'Bposo I've- killed rhoro
b'nrs than any other man in tho Gats
kill mountains," said tho old man
as ho pushed back in his coonskin
cap. "The total count is about 50,1
believe.
"You must have been in dungcr
oub positions mnny times?" I
"You betl"
"I suppose that scar on your check
was mado by tho claws of a bear?"
"That ecar? Oh, no. Tho old
woman hit me thar with a splinter."
"Your left eye is gone, Did a- bear
do thnt?"
"Loft oye? Oh, no. Tho old cow
hooked thnt out." '
Fifty bourn nrongoodmany. Somo
of them must havo been old nnd
fierce?"
"You bctl"
"I notice your right hnnd is
pled. I suppose a Lenr got it
Ids mouth?"
"Right hnnd? Oh, no, I got
into a corn shellcr."
crip
into that
Did
"You walk lamo in ono leg.
thau como from a tussle with ft
bear?"
"Ono leg? Oh, no, I fell off n load
of hay and broke my leg."
"Well," persisted tho questioner,
"that scar over your right eye must
hnvo been mado by a. boar."
"Right oyo? Yes, purty near be
ing a ba'r. 1 run ngina beam in tho
barn in tho dark."
"Then you wero novor hugged,
chnwed, nor clnwed by a bear?" que
ried tho reporter in disgust."
"By n benr. Oh, no."
'i
"But you hnvo killed fifty?" ;
"Ych, nn even fifty."
"How did it happen thnt you wero
never hnrnicd?"
Harmed? Oh, I always shot 'cm
at least 40 rods off, or first got 'em
into a trap nnd Bbot'omnr'tcnvnrds.
Don't nover let a bar come nigh you,
young man thcy's dangerous"
A Narrow Escnpo.
New York Run.
On so tnmo an errand as thnt of
reporting n. dinner aboard a Gorman
steamer thnt had mado tho almost
incredibly slow timo of niuety dnyB
in crossing from Hnthburg, ft- re
porter ran afoul of n most exciting
adventure. Someone hud cnllod for
nn American patriotic song. The
reporter said he could sing the tune
oftho "Star Spangled Hunner" if
nnyono else could full in with tho
words. This plan worked admirable.
Tho song was Bimg. Tlio reporter
wns at tho right hnnd of the head of
thotftblo. At tho foot of thotnblo
sat a mnn from Charleston. It wub
nearly ton years after the closo of
tho rebellion. "Now," snid tho
Charleston man. "thogontlemnn will
please sing 'Tho Flag ith tho Single
Star."' Tlio reporter replied good
naturedly, that he would willingly
sing it but thnt he did not kfipw it.
The Chnrleston mnn leaped to his
feet with his revolver leveled at the
reporter's head.
"Sing it, one," Bnid ho, "sing ib
two. Whon I count three, I'll shoot.
Sing it, tin "
Ho nover counted tho third time.
A well-directed bottloful of chnm-
Jmgno struck him on tho bend nnd ho
ell to the floor. ThonimbloGermnn
wlto throw it Baved tho roporter for
more adventures.
Wlifto Birch Toothpicks.
A toothpick factory is ono of.tho
flourishing wood working establish
ments nt Harbor Springs, Mich.,
and it is ono of tho largest factories
oftho kind in tho country. White
birch is exclusively used in tlio mnn
ufucturo ofthetoothn'icks, and about
7,500,000 of tho handy little splin
ters are turned out daily. Tho fojs
ore Bawed into bolts each twenty
cightinches in length, then thorough
ly steamed and cut up into veneer.
Tho veneer is eut into long ribbons,
three inches in width, nnd tlieso rib
bons, eight or ton nt a. timo, arc run
through tho tootpick mncliinory,
coming out at tho other end, and
perfect pieces falling into one basket,
tho broken pieces and iofuso falling
into another. Tho picks aro packed
into boxes, 1,500 in a- box, by girls.
mostly comely looking young
squuws, mid are then packed into
cases, nnd finally into big boxes,
ready for shipment to all parts of
the world. Tho whito bircli tooth
picks arc very neat and clean in np
penrance, sweet to tho taBto, atid
there is a wido market for them. Tho
goods sell nt tho factory nt $1.00 a
case of 150. Timbonnan.
Ho Will Not tryThnt Trick Affn!n
Hownrd Chaffln, of New Holland,
Ohio, whoso domestic relations aro
not the pleaBantest, attempted to
frighten his wife by sending her the
following note: "When you get this
you will bo a widow. You will find
tho body in the Btnblo." Mrs. Cha
ffin received this startling news witli
considerable nonchalance, nnd, it is
alleged, got out her husband's best
clothes and began to brush them for
the funeral. Sho Bent her daughter
to tho stablo, who returned, saying
ho wns not dead, but looked, "aw
ful bad." Hastening to tho stable,
Mrc. Chaffln found her husband sus
pended from tho rafter. In her ef
forts to release him sho discovered
that ho had passed tho cord under
his arm, and that there wob not tho
slightest prospect of death ensuing
ingfrom strangulation. Securing a.
good, stout stick, sho belabored him
until ho cried for merci' and begged
to be released from liiB awful position