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A DECOY LETTER.
A
Mr.C. B. Barrett, formerly Chief
'Inspector of tbo United States Secret
Service, had a queer exporienco Bomo
"time ago. in a beautiful littlo town
way down in Maryland. Mr. Bar
rott'sJong experience with this sort
of work has taught him just how to.
dig a pit for his game, as the
train neared tho .village ho walked,
through tho Bmokor to tho mail car,
asked for. the mail clerk, showed his
commission and snid ho had some
thing which ho wanted dono.
"What is it?" asked tho clerk
nervously, oying tho Chief Inspec
tor. ''Where is tho mail pouch you
throw off at the next stop?"
It was produced.
"Open it."
It was opened, for an inspector
fins absolute authority, not only
over mail clerks, but over tho post
masters of tho lurger cities. ,
Hero is n letter," said Mr. Barrett,
"addressed to James Lancaster,
a ficticious name. The letter con
tains a $10 bill. I want you to ex
amine it, take tho address, put it in
that pouch and lock it with your
'own hands."'
All this was done, and Mr. Barrett
went back to his seat in one of tho
day conches, confident that the next
move in tho game would answer his
expectations.
The Secret Service agent stood
upon tho platform of the mail car
when tho train stopped and tho
pouch wus thrown off, when he ntt
onco stepped to the platform. A boy,
whoso business it was to carry tho
mail, took tho pouch over his Bhoul
er and started up the villngo street,
never dreaming that a Chief Inspec
tor of tho Postal Servico was follow
ing him on tho other sido of tho
street und was watching him like n
hawk, while seeming to watch noth
ing. It was a beautiful June day,
the birds were singing, nnd although
it was high noon tho leafy ,lolty trees
lining tho quiet street cast .such deep,
cool shadows that Mr. Barrett did
not find wnlking unpleasant. For
nbout a quarter of a mile the boy
kept on, followed by tho Inspector,
and then turned into a smnll frame
building, with a white and black sign
over tho door labelled "Postoflice."
"Now," said Mr. Barrett, inward
ly, "my lotter has reached its desti
nation." There was a crowd of visitors in
side of the little Post-ofllco nnd out
side who swurmed towards tho desk
"to get their mail," and Mr. Barrett
waited some fifteen minutes until
they had all gone before ho entered
the place, und saw a handsomo girl,
about seventeen yenrs old, dressed
in an old-fashioned bodico nnd light
colored skirt, sitting behind tho wire
grating in a rocking chair sewing.
"Is there a letter hpro for James
Lancaster?" said the Inspector, and
every one who knows his face nnd
figure will not wonder that the girl
took him for a well to do country
man.
"No," sho snid, after sorting some
letters in n case mnrked "L."
"Won't you look again?" and sho
did look, but with no oetter result.
"I am sure the letter must have
come," said Mr. Barrett, and I, who
know him well, can imagine how
gently ho snid it.
"It's not hero."
"Aro you the Postmaster?"
"No. I am tho assistant. My
father is tho Postmaster."
"Who opened tho pouch that came
bo the Inst train?"
"I did."
"No one to help you?'
"No, sir."
The girl's bright eyes looked as
innocently at Mr. Barrett ns any
girl's bright eyes ever looked at any
man.
"Maybe it stuck in tho pouch. I've
heard of such things,"' ho Baid.
"Won'tyou look?"
Sho took nMIUt up-
Ml down, f nsiuc
No letter, i
vB.n nnd
help you IocHIbHHH- Bar
rett.
"No. No HniBV here."
The Cluc'RSnHk"" his
pocket Ins cBfflH' nit
ed States GflMftV ofii"
cial sisnntt flHHIHHhowed
ittothesiHSBK'"1
"Can I con
- "Yes," bftHHHK'r Pnr
"You di.H'"ilV
snid tho vi S' Secret
Servico.
There mbH'"
high 1 HHnriow,
a got lmrt.'"
towtHusU'r H
daughter Brrett
tllminrlif u ,'. At
hi.stliniHHHHHHW lock.
opened th
the Inspe
nitted
rwurd
a uw loot
There
lit but
bnro dea'j
r box-
s, and h
is not
James
"Tlint
there.
"I mni
Latll'USt
er' be-
is a flcti
. That
in my
"Igtnyi
presence. When that pouch wna put
off at tho stntionTfolldweiTitnnd
kept it in sight until it was taken in
to tho Postoflice. Now you Bay you
opened it alone, thnt no ono elso
touched it. Where is my letter?"
"I never saw :t, Bir. If you doubt
mo you can Bearch mo."
Mr. Barrett snid thot ho would not
do that, and that ho had never dono
sucli a thing to a woman, nnd ho be
gan to pneo tho floor in deep thought.
The girl, more beautiful than over in
her excitement, eat down in tho rock
ing chair, crossed her limbs and be
gan to rock.
"Call your mother, and sho enn
search you in niy presence," Baid ho
at length. '
"My mother is dead."
Again tho Secret Servico agent
pneed the floor. Ho looked into an
adjoining room, brightly nnd neatly
furnished, nnd wondered whether tho
girl could have Becreted tho letter
thero while she pretended to be going
to tho crate to let him in. Ashopnced
back and forth ho noticed the swing
ing feet ofthoPostmnster's daughter,
that one of her stockings hud sussed
down, and that under that stocking
was the shape of an envelope.
"Your stocking has dropped," ho
said.
The girl turned scarlet and white,
nnd stopped rocking. Sho caught
her breath, as if to fuint.
"Now, give mo my letter," said tho
Inspector.
She took it from its hiding place,
handed it to him nnd burst into a.
flood of passionate tenrs.
Tho decoy letter, as is usual in
cases of this sort, had been fixed so
tliat.it would be apparent to anyone
that money was enclosed. It had
dono its work.
"Where is your father?" asked Mr.
Barrett.
"In the garden," sobbed tho girl.
Mr. Barrett went out into tho
garden, found the old man hoeiilg
nnd brought him in, nnd when ho
was told all ho bowed his white head
and sobbed with his child. Tho in
spector learned that tho girl had ad
mirers, as was natural; that her
father was very misorly, not giving
her even the money needed for a
bright bit of ribbon, a new lint or a
newdress; that sho had been tempted
to take money from the mails for
bits of finery, nnd had dono so. Mr.
Barrett bitterly accused the old man
of being the ono to blnme, und ho ac
knowledged it.
"I suppose you will arrest her?"
said the girl's father.
"Will you make restitution of tho
sum (it was about 10), she has
tnkon on account of your miserli
ness?" "Yes; here it is," nnd it was handed
over. "Will you arrest her?"
"If I did what would bo her future?
No. Unless you or she tells this it
will never be known in tho village."
Inspector Barrett left after forcing
the old ninn to promise his daughter
should never be compelled or allowed
to handle the mails again, nnd when
ho submitted his full report to tho
head of tho department at Washing
ton Ins course was fully approved.
Patti and tho Burglar.
It is said that shortly before Mine.
Patti left Wales for her South Ameri
can tour bad a thrilling experience
with a burglar. Tho songstress was
alone in her chamber preparing to
retire for the night, when she hoard a
sound in an adjoining room, as if
someone were moving about. Pntti
hastily donned a wrapper, and wnlked
boldly into the room from which tho
sounds came, and stood face to faco
with a gigantic burglar. He wore a
mask to conceal his features, and in
his hand he carried a heavy club.
Tho plucky woman naked him whut
ho was doing there.
"Don't you see," he replied in a
brond Welsh dialect, "I am stealing
your diamonds?"
And he held up to lier astonished
eyes the most beautiful bracelet which
she possessed. Patti did not scream.
She simply walked across the room,
pressed nn electric button to summon
the servant. Instead of the servant,
however, Signor Nicolini appeared
on the 6cene. The liurglnr attempted
to strike him with his club, but his
game wns frustrated by Patti. Sho
grasped the club as it was raised in
tho air. Nicolini nnd tho burglar
then clinched, nnd in tho strugglo
tlyit ensued the enterprising but al
togethertoo candid thief waspitched
out of a second story windoy. Ho
descended gracefully and broke a leg.
He wns found to be a peasant whom
Patti had frequently befriended.
London Cor. New York Press.
-
Two Great Curiosities.
A traveler once with great tnioa
ness related to a largo compnnV tb,8t
he had traveled through all wie
world, and had seen at least ono
curiosity which had never yet boon
mentioned by any nuthor.
This wonder, according to his as
sertion, wns n cabbage-plant so largo
that under one single lenf fifty armed
horsemen in battle array could sta
tion theniHolvos nnd perform their
evolutions. No ono who heard this
exaggeration deemed it worthy of
refutation; but one said, with the
utmost composure and coolness,
that, he, too, nod been somewhat of
a traveler, and had bren us far as
Japan, where, to his astonishment,
he had seen more than three hundred
coppersmiths at work upon an im
mense cauldron, and. thnt 11 vo hun
dred men were to bo employed to
smooth nnd polish it. "For what
purpose, then, would they wish to
uso this monstrous cauldron?" asked
the first traveler, sneeringly. "For
cooking the cabbage-plants, sir, such
ns you were telling us about just
now," was the answer
Fifty years ago or thereabouts
Giusoppo Segoto, a Florentine pbj
sicinn, announced that he had dis
covered n way of petrifying tho hu
man body bo jib to preserve its form
without ehnnge of appearance. Ho
submitted specimens of his work to
tho grand duko of Tuscany, who
thought well of tho discovery, and
offered to buy it from "Segnto. Tho
physician refused tho offer, and whilo
ho wnltcd for a higher bid died, cither
suddenly or nftcra very Bhort illness.
He never revealed his process, and
his secret was buried with him.
Tho following description of Scgn
to's best known specimen, first pub
lished about a year ngo in a medicnl
journal, has since nppenrcd in almost
every newspnper in the country:
In tho Pitti polnco, at Florence, is
a table which for originality in tho
mntter of construction, and ghnst
liness in conception, is probably
without a rival. It was mado by
flu'i8eppe Segnto, who passed sovoral
yonrs of hislifo in its manufacture.
To tho cusuul observer it gives tho
impression ot n curious mosaic of
marbles ofdifforelitshadesand colore,
for it looks like- polished stone. In
reality it is composed of human
muscles und visceru. No less than a
hundred bodies wero requisitioned
for the material. Tho tablo is round
und nbout a yard in diameter, with
a pedestal und four claw feet, the
wholo being formed of potrifled
.humum remains. Tho ornaments of
tho pedestnl nre mado form tho in
testines, the claws with hearts, livers
and lungs, the natural color of which
is preserved. Tho tablo top is con
structed of muscles artistically ar
ranged, and it is bordered with up
wards 01 a nunureu eyes, too enecc
of which is snid to bo highly nrtistic,
since they retain nil their luster, and
seem to follow tho observer. Sega to
died about 50 years ngo. Ho ob
tained bodies from tho hospitals and
indurated them by impregnation
with mineral salts.
Curiosity led tho present writer,
when in Florence recently, to obtain
a view of this curious piece of furni
ture. What he saw was so entirely
different from what ho had been led
to expect, thnt he is moved to tell
tho renders of the Sun nbout it.
In tho first placej tho "tablo" is
not in the Pitti palace, but in the
nuatomicol collection of tho new St.
Mary's Hospitul; thero the present
writer had an opportunity of ex
amining it, in company with Dr.
Stanishio Bianchi, who is in charge
of the collection.
The "table" is ovnl, of what looks
likomuhoguny; it is nbout 18 inches
long by 12 wuleind consists of n
top only, it has no nppearunce what
ever of over having had a pedestal.
The human putrifactionson it con
sist or thin of smnll sections or slices
nbout 1-G4-of an inch think, which
nre veneered upon it; Bonie are dia
mond shaped, some ovnl. others
Fquare, with surface like flno
grained wood, nil arranged in asym
metrical rectangular olilong design;
there is n border around it, present
ing nt first sight the oppenrnnco of a
checker board. Some of these ve
neers, by tho effects of dampness,
hove become detached; ono or two
hovo fallen off nltogother. Prof.
Bianchi pointed out that these were
smnll bits of organisms oftho human
body, such ns tho loins, kidneys, liv
er, spleen, lungs, skin, all of natural
color, and that probably, in order
to get them of small size they had
been tnkon from boj's" cadavers.
There were, however, no humnn oyes
in the border or anywhere else.
Dr. Bianchi showed other speci
mens of Segato's process a female
scalp of perfectly natural color, with
long flowing hair nttoched; a. worn
nn's breast, fair and white, perfectly
life-like. In these enses tho ports pre-
BerveuweroiiKenieuiuiiipnsteooaruin
thickness nnd firmness. He showed
nlso petrified reptiles, fish, nnd sepa
rate parts ol the humnn body, nil
prepared by Sogato, nnd doubtless
submitted 'by him when he offered to
Bell Ins secret to tho Tuscan govern
ment. It wns difficult to get an expression
of opinion from tho doctor about the
valuo of Segato's process, and tho
consequent importance to science of
its loss, "it lias not neon discovered
since; it is a pity that it still remains
unknown," was all that tho kind and
courteous professor would say on the
subject, "beguto asked rather n
largo price, perhaps, but he knew his
own business, doubtless.
The "tablo" is not sera ty many
Tlsitors to Florence, or oven by ninny
Florentines; tho custodians of Seira-
to's specimens, oven if thoy do not
discourngosightreers, certainly evince
no great enthusiasm for tho objects
of their care. Now York Sun.
i
A Humorous Scnntor.
Senator Evarts has a command a
rentcnt.ous humor that is rarely
hinted nt in such of his oblong peri
ods us nro most familiar to the pub
lie. A correspondent says that he
remarked of Ithodc Island that "it
was settled by the Dutch; tho Yan
kees settled the Dutch;" nnd of cer
tnin Christians who landed in New
England: "Thoy praised God and
fell -upon their knees then thoy foil
upon tho aborigi-neso." Tho ex
Secretary ulso sent to Bancroft this
letter:
"Dear Bancroft: I nm very ,l"d to noml
you two products of my in to-Uny u bar
rel of pickled iIr lork unci my eulojry on
Chief JuBtice Chuse. Yours,
"EVJUtTS."
The Judge and the Baby.
Tho Judgo oftho County Court wnn
in trouble
Ho had adjourned his court, tho
jurors had gono home, and ho wns
loft nlono with tho Sheriff.
No not entirely alone n sallow
faced' woman in a .limp nnd fnded
ginghamsunbonnotnud a limpor nnd
more fnded homespun dress crouched
down by tho door of tho Court Houso
with a baby in her lap.
The Judgo stepped outsido for a
moment and looked down tho ono
Btrnggling street which constituted
tho main thoroughfare of Blue Hock..
A dreary, drizzling rain was fulling,
and thero was scarcely a sign of life1
in tho littlo village.
. "Jiml"
In responso to tho call tho sheriff
followed tho Judgo ho was a big, tall
fellow, with a good notured face, and
his shambling walk impressed ono
with an idea of his laziness nnd gen
eral incapacity.
"Jim," said tho Judgo, "I'll bo
darned if I know what to do with
Sally Blnck."
Tho sheriff hitched up his l)0irff.V
icons trousers und then scratched his
head.
"Wo'ro in a fix, Jedse," was his re
ply, and a broad grin spread over his
face.
Undoubtedly tho Judjro wns in a
Ox ho knew that well enough with
out hearing from tho sheriff. Sally
Black had been convicted of vagrancy
in Ins court, und ho hnd sentenced
her to nix months' imprisonment a
sentenco which wns to bo carried out
by knocking down tho prisoner to
the highest bidder.
As a rulo, the prisoners disposed of
in this mnnner wore negroes, und the
formers of tho country wero nlways
ready to bid for them and put them
to work on their plantations, where
thoy wero treated like theothorhands
until their term of servico expired.
Tho farmers around Bluo Rock were
a simple-minded, old-fashioned set of
people, nnd the county court in their
eyes wns nota mill ofcriminnl justice
it was merely nn ngency through
which thoy wero supplied with labor
ers. They wonted Sally Black put
through, as thoy expressed it, be
cause sho was thoonlvreirular tranm
and beggar in the country a good-for-nothing
white woman, who had
como from no ono knew where, und
wns evidently going to tho devil.
But when their wish was gratified
when tho forlorn woman inlierrags
nnd desolation had been tried, con
victed nnd sentenced, tho honest
countrymen slipped out of tho court
room with downcast fnees and started
homeward. Sheriff Jim spent an
hour on n stump in front oftho tem
ple of justico vainly endoavoring to
auction off his human merchandise,
but nobody would ofier n bill.
Of course it was no feeling of com
pnssion for Sally; Black that they
held them back it was the baby!
"Billy Botts would take her," said
the Judge, coming out of n brown
study. "I think, Jim, I'll send you
down to the house."
"All right, Jedgo," answered Jim.
His Honor looked inside the door.
Sally Black still sot on tho floor
loaning against tho wall with her
baby in her lap. Sho did not look
.' up at the'.Iudgo's stem face, but the
littlo girl did, and began to laugh
and crow in n spasm of delight.
The Judge hastily beat a retreat.
"Jim," he snid, "you needn't go
nfter Betts.
"AH'right, Jedge."
"Tho fact is, Botts is not the right
sort to havo a convict; he's a hard
man too rough, you know."
"JessQ, Jedge."
"We'll lock her up in jail until to
morrow," said the other.
Tho Judgo wnlked inside tho court
house und stooped down to tell tho
woman of his determination,
A pair of bluo eyes flashed at him
in riotou merriment, and a pair of
pink fists struck ut him und then
tho child's long lingers entwined
themselves in his long beard.
"Oo's oo?" chirru)ed the bnby.
His Honor pushed his captor back,
very gently, and then looked at the
Sheriff.
"She's a peart gal," remarked
Jim.
Tho Judgo bolted out of tho door,
followed by tho faithful oflieer.
"Jim, this is getting serious."
"Looks like a tough old case,"
volunteered the Sheriff.
"I ain't lock that baby up in our
dirty old jail, nnd I won't."
"How will you fix it, Jedgo?" nsked
tho other. '"Under the luw wo can't
bid for tho prisoner.
"I know what I'll do," said tho
Judge "I say. Bob, como here!" ho
shouted to a man on tho other sido
ol tho street,
Bob crossed over very reluctnntly.
He was a tenant on a s'uinll farm bo
longing to the judge, and he wus be
hind with his rent.
He expected to be dunned, but ho
was mistaken.
In a word tho situation was ex
plained to him.
"But I can't bid," ho objected. "I
ain't able."
"D n it, mnn!" shoureutho Judgo,
"offer a dollar."
"But I can't pay that T two you
fifty dollars now."
"Confound you I" ro:. rod the -Judge.
"Do as I tell you, ond you shall havo
your own timo about paying tho
back rent."
"All right," replied tho fellow
slowly, "but Sally Black cannot
work, and I cannot afford to feed
her."
" "Seo here, Bob." growlod tho Judgo.
with a determined look, "you Just
put this womnn nnd her baby in tho
littlo cnbin on tho hill. Thoy won't
Btnrve. I'll eend them enough to
ent."
Bob had no more to eny. It
was a good bargain for him, nnd in
less than five minutes ho wob march
ing down tho street, followed by
Sally Black and the bnby.
v Tho next day tho Judgo sent in his
resignation to tho Governor!
To his friends ho mndo a very satis
factory explanation.
"Under our special act," ho said,
"I receive no salary. I am paid in
fees, and I don't sot any. Then I
havo to lend tho prisoners money to
pay their fines, nnd it is getting bo
.thatl will have to Hupport some of
tho convicts. This court business
will run.me in debt if I stick to it,
nnd thnt is why I resigned."
So Sally Black and tho baby wero
quurtored in a comfortnblo log cnb
in on tho Judge's plantation, nnd
their rations wero sent to them every
week from the big white house over
tho river.
What becamo of them nfter Sally's
term was out?
Tho Bluo Bock peoplo would laugh
ot such a queston. They know the
Judge. Sully Black needs no written
lease no contract with witnesses.
She will stay in tho little cabin as
long as bIio and tho baby like it, and
tho neighbors think she is. ..settled
there for life. Atlanta Constitution.
Cowboy nnd Spook.
Cheyenne. Lender
This is hardly tho season for ghoBt
stories, but one which reached tho
eai b of a reporter the other cvenuig
may entertain those fond of spookloro.
Tho Leader can vouch for tho relia
bility of all tho persons mentioned,
except tho ghost itself. Tho narra
tive runs in this wise:
Joe Hcnloy, a rollicking cowboy
who rides tho rango for tho Corlisio
Cattle Company, was oilsnged in
transferrins a bunch of horses from
one ranch on tho Sweetwater to an
other nnd passed tho historical In
dependence rock after nightfall.
When uenr tho noted landmark Joo
was nearly senred out of his wits nnd
his charges almost stampeded by tho
appearance of a ghastly nppuration
across tho trail. Tho figure wns that
of a man nnd white in color. Tho
outlines were clearly defined but the
cowboy is unnble to describe tho cos
tume of tho unearthly tramp.
Ilealey, who is a quick-witted chap
of great nervo, hurried his horBO to a
corral, about a mile distant, und re
turned to visit tho uncanny thing.
Tho goblin damned, like the villngo
mnidcu, was over modest and kept
its distnnco. At times it flonted rap
idly through the air ond again lo
comoted steady by jerks, as tho
tood walks. The ndventurouspunch
or proposed to drive the ghost into
the horse herd and then rope it. Ho
wns unsuccessful, howovor, but ex
linusted his mount nnd emptied his
six shooters in the attempt, and
what more could bo required of on
honest cowboy?
As is usually tho enso tho ghost
finally melted uwny, leaving the pur
suers completely mystified. Anoth
er cowboy met with a similar nd
vonturo in tho sumo locality last
year, and every rnnge-rider in thnt
region swears by the Chicago mnrket
that tho place is"sure enough haunt
ed."
Swagger in the Old Days.
From llwnnt'a "Fifty Years Ago."
There is still swagger, oven in these
dnys; cavalry officers in garrison
towns are still supposed to swngger.
Eton boys swngger in their own lit
tlo village: undergraduates swagger.
Tho putting on ot "side" by the way,
is a peculiarly modern form of swng
ger; it is tho assumption ofcertnin
qualities and powers which nro con
sidered os deserving of respect.
Swngger, fifty years ngo, was a
coa; ser kind of thing. Officers swag
gered; men of rank swaggered, gen
tlemen in military frogs there nro
no longer any military frogs swag
gered in taverns, clubs, and in tho
streets. Tho adoption of quiet man
ners; tho weaving of rank with unob
trusive dignity; the possession of
wealth without ostentation; of wit
without the desire to be nlways show
ing it these are points in which wo
nre decidedly in udvnnco of our fathers
There was a great deal of cuff and
collar, stock ond breastpin about
tho young fellows of the day. They
were oppressive in their gallantry;
in public places they asserted them
selves; thoy wero loud in their talk.
Al'Iko County htory.
Tho Poupnck Creek, in Piko Coun
ty, Pennsylvania, is tho dwelling
plnco of a monster more wonderful
than tho sea serpent", if.ono con be
lievo tho stories told by peoplo in tho
vicinity. Thoy describa tho beast as
having a head like an ape ami square
shoulders liko a humnn being. From
tho shoulders oftho crenturethero ex
tend legs arms, which terminate in
great claws. Tho body of the mon
ster, which is fully six feet in length,
is of a reddish brown tint, very like
thnt of a lizard, nnd terminates in a
tail like that of a fish. Tho creature's
body is bare of any covering, but
about tho heuil and neck is a mane
of reddish hair. It is needless to say
that the county is excited over the
strange animals. Various parties
surround tho creek each day in hopes
of capturing the beast, but up to tho
present time their endeavors have
not been crowned with succms.
Nonspnncr TYIL
Tho dciitiet may not bo much of a
Political), but ho knows how to take
the stump.
"What is Sniggles running fori"
"I didn't know he wns running for
anything." "Oh, but ho is then. I
saw him going to church JuBt Sun
day." Boston Transcript.
"And-what doayou expect to sake
of your son when ho cornea of nge,
Mr. Smith?" "Oh I don't know," re
plied Mr. Smith, despondently; "I
think he'd make a good husbund for
a rich girl. "Life.
Bashful youth: "Will ynutnko this
chnir, Mies Ethel?" Miss Ethel: '.'Oh,
no.- Ithasnonrm." Bashful youth
(eagerly): "I shall bo most hnppy
ah to supply the deficiency, I as
sure you." And he did. Judge.
"Hello, Jellycuko, who cut your
hair?" "My wife." "Sho mado a
horriblo job of it." "Yes, I,m begin
ning to understand why Sampson lost
his st rensh ofter consulting a female
barber. 1 feel pretty weak myself."
Lincoln Journal.
"I nm glad your sister enjoyed her
visit to us. Mr. Smith." "Oh, well,
you know sho is tho sort of girl who
con enjoy herself anywhere, you
know."
"Papa, wheiVs Atoms?" "Atoms?
I don't know, toy boy. You menn
Athens, probably." "No, I-ncnn
Atoms tho placo where everything
is blown to."
A young married woman who has
jhst been presented with a second
child wns asked by a friend; "Don't
you find it to much bother to tako enro
of two babes?" "Oh, no," snid tho
mother; "ono baby uoed to keep mo
up all night ond two can't keep mo
up nny longer,"
Talk nbout your cigaretto smok
ing! Here's a man over in Connecti
cut, who hos died, that smoked over
2,000 herrings a duy. It was his
business.
"Bridget," said the mistress to tho
new hired girl, "you enn go now nnd
put the mackerel in soak." ' ''Sure,
ma'am, air yo rejuccd to that?"
asked Bridget, sympathetically.
Mother "You look savage, Char
lie." Chnrlio (fresh from school)
"Yes, ma. Fact is, tho teacher rat
toned me; tho brand of Cain is on
tho nntipodo of my brow."
"Aro you admiring the new moon,
Miss Clnra?" ho said us he cume soft
ly up from tho gate. "Yes, Mr.
Snm'pson, I have been gazing at it so
long thnt my neck fuirjy nches."
"You shouldn't try to look at it
nlone," he snid tenderly, nnd then ho
sat down nnd divided tho labor.
New York Sun.
"Why, John, whntis tho matter
with buby?" sho Baid, as sho camo
hastily into tho house. "He is cry
ins bitterly." "Yes," replied the old
man, ns ho hnnded tho infant over;
"he is evidontly thinking of what the
governor of North Carolina said to
the sovernor of South Carolina.'
Epoch.
Brown; "1 8ny,DumIey, you haven't
forgotten thnt$10-bill you borrowed
ofmenlong timo ago, havo you?"
Burnley (in a hurt tone of voice):
"Forgotten it, my dear boy?" Do
3'ou think I'm so wenk-minded ns nil
that?" I'd rather a mnn would im
pugn my credit any day than my
memory." Lite.
Mrs. Dusenberry "What nonsense
these newspapers study outl Now
here's n atatemont that widows aro
more likely to dio than widowers."
Mr. Dusenberry "That's all bosh,
my dear. Tho fact is that a mun
generally dies before his widow."
Mrs. Dusenberry "Is that really tho
cose? How do you nccount for it?':
Mr. Dusenberry "I can't."
They had retired. Mrs. Dusenbury
wns talking a streak about Mr. D.'s
foibles. "Graciousl" she suddenly ex
claimed, "my foot's nsleep." 'Then
keep quiet, my denr," said
Mr. D., "and perhaps you'll fall
asleep all over."
He: "I must break off my engage
ment, Violet." She: "Why should
you do thot?" He: "Well, your
father has failed: how can he support
a -on-in-law in tho Btyle in which I
hqvo livedl" She: "Why, you goose,
ho failed on porposo to meet the ex
tra expense! Harper's Bazar.
A Creditable Snake Story.
A farmer near Orlando, Fin., saw
in tho sand tho trail of what ho
thought wus a very big snake. He
followed it, and nfter ten minutes'
trailing como upon the lorgest
serprnt he hud ever seen. It was
engaged in swallowing a rabbit, oud
tho farmer waitetl and wntched the
operation. After tho rabbit hnd
disappeared ho wnlked fowared to
get a good shot at the monster,
which according to his story, at
once renred up its head as high as a
Eood sized mun ond began racing
nek and forth before him, drawing
nearer each time, hissing and
darting out his tongue. Tho farmer
shot and broke tho snake's' back,
and another shot killed it. It wns a
"coach-whip" Biiaku of the bon
constrictor family, und meusurvd
Bixteen feet nnd two inches in length
and wus four inches across the head.
f
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