Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190?, April 17, 1896, Image 5
f .; yU f 1 TNE PHOFESSOIt. I rang lor Jano to bring my tea up Btairs, and hunted for the sal volatile to composo my nerves. The now pro fessor had arrived to deliver his iirst lecture to the pupils ot lleliotropo Fo malo academy. As the "accomplished principal" so the newspaper express ed it of this great institution, I con. sider it my duty to havo a professor ot scienco added to my corps of teach, crs. It Hounded well in speaking to say: "Prolessor East, of Wisteria Academy." I must Bay it was the aim of my life to havo overything ap pear much better than it leally was. At a teachers' meeting wo had discuss ed tho matter. "I shall stipulato for an unmarried man," I informed the ladies, "middle-aged, learned and companionable for intellectual wom en like ourselves." Tho teachers all agreed with me, but Col. Noel, my wealthy patron, demurred at the pro posed advance. Ho camo in just as our meeting adjourned. Being a wid ower, andas Eva had taken her histo ry lesson in the study to learn, I beg ged him to sit down and tell us how he managed his dear motherless chil dren. "I don't manage them, blessed if I do. I've turned them over to you la dies to manage. Keep that rascal Jack Norris away from my Eva, That's all I ask. Bless my heart, what can I do with a parcel of girls on my hands?" "My dear Colonel," I said, in asym pathetic tone, for he certainly glanced at mo whilo speaking, "in my position the care of tender, innocent girls has become a lovely study. I doto upon it. The only trouble to mo is that my caro of them is too short." "So it is, and a confounded shame, too," and tho Colonel looked at mu again, straight in tho eyes. "In my position vigilance, wisdom and foresight are required," I said again in my most impressive manner. "I may safely claim for myself these requisites to a perfect manager of young girls." Tho colonel laughed good-naturedly as ho added: "I wager she's safe Eva is; she will have a fortuno of her own, and that scoundrel Norris knows it." "In my position," I remarked, for tho third time, "tho ultimate good of my charges is the aim of my life, un der my roof dearest Eva is secure. Mr. Jack Noris will never try to out wit me. Ho may be a bold rascal, but Mr. Jack Norris won't venture to trifle with me." Col. Noel was emphatic in his assent to this assertion. "He's a dare devil, Nonsis, a wild, harum-scarum, worth less scamp, but blessed if Ibeleivohn'd have tho hardihood to defy you," laughed my chief patr.on, in that com plinientaryway of his which showed me in a quiet way his preference for myself. Iliad numberless answers to my advertisement for a professor, but I tossed thpni all aside and en gaged Prof. East. The moment my eyes rested upon him I felt intuitively that tho very person I desired had presented himself. So handsome, so very handsome, in spite of immense green goggles; so gentle, and refined, and so good, so innocently good, I engaged him at onco on tiie easiest term's. Indeed, Prof. East declared himself so appreciative of tho great advantage ot enjoying our society that he almost forgot tho question of salary. Ho was quite indifferent to money. I found him willing to come for a mere pittance which went far to bias me in his favor, as it always does seem hard to pay out so much money to teachers. Tho flutter of nerves mentioned above was occasion ed by the arrival of tho professor. He was actually in the house. All tho teachers were struck by his ingen uous manner and straight-forward, beautiful candor "He says he nover met a more charming set ot ladies," observed Miss Leonard, the English teacher. "Ho says tho girls are not to liis taste, he despises such young things; he says m yeyes are lovely." "Ma foil Your oyes, indeed!" ejacu lated Mam'sello Adele, tho French teacher. "Heyows myretroussonose is piqunnte, charm ante, ah, monsieur is one grand gentleman." "I don't believe in flattery," inter jected Miss Wenham. Nobody insults me by compliments. Tho professor thoucht I was one of thegirls. Indeed, I never saw a man so amazed as when I told him I was a teacher." Miss Wen ham looked every day of forty-five years. "Ho is very near-sighted," I remind ed her. "Not at all," insisted Miss Wen ham. "He only wearsglasses to shade his eyes, and he always says just what he thinks." Putting on my glasses I drew out a note. It was trom the professor. I was determined to read it merely as a check to their vanity and conceit. "Let me see," I began, quite as if the idea had that moment occurred to me. "He says In this note: 'I am coming early to have a hotter oppor tunity of knowing a lady whom I have long admired for her talents and erudition.' " Without the smallest notice of a decidedly envious laugh, I folded the note and went to my room to read up on tho mioceno period. The professor was to lecture on tiie mioceue period. After taking my seat and leaving my classes on the table they always made me look ten years older I went down to see Prof. East. To my amazement there sat Mam'sello Adele'in her best black silk, with crim son trimmings, talking in her excit able foreign wayl There, on the other side, was Miss Leonard in her best plaid, smiling in her bland amiability. Miss Wenham in her Sunday cashinero ogled him in front. To do tha professor justice, ha Ecemcd restless ana in ovi dent expectation of soma ono else. As he turned nt onco to me, I folt cer tain that I was tho person for whom my hnudsomoyoung professor waited. Wo discussed extinct pachyderms of the mioceno period. I mndo some strong points, to which ho yielded without argument. Miss Wenham whispered quite audibly that tho pro fessor had not a chanco to put in a word. When wo were pnssing into tho lecture-room I observed that ho looked at Edith Sands, who contrived to bo in tho way, and that oho laughed rather pertly. Before I could speak to her tho prolessor said in a low tone: "What a great figuro you havo, my dear lady, queenly, positively queenly." I heard that silly Eva titter so rudely that common'decorum induced mo to send her to a back seat. Sho is considered beautiful by some peo ple, but to my thinking her fnco is weak; besides, sho lias a round, chubby figure. I had it from tho professor himselt that he ndmired a queenly fig ure. The lecturo was rather obscure, of course. I saw that the professor was very dcop, but I am sure the girls appreciated their privilege. Eva Noel turned very red and almost choked with laughter. If it had been any bodyelse but Prof. East I might havo imagined that ho becaiuo a trifle mix ed and confusing on tho niocene strata, but then ho was certainly n handsome man. Uy tho merest acci dent I happened to be in the hall when the professor was putting on his over coat, and found tho teachers around him in an admiring circle. I must say that my acumen and knowledge of hu man nature never evinced itself so dis tinctly as when I engaged Prof. East. Ho turned at onco to mo nnd spoko in tho most complimentary manner of my observations of tho teritary epoch. "Nothing ever interested mo so much. We must tnlk it over thoroughly, it is most absorbing," ho declared. "Be sides, wo don't often havo the advan tage of such an intellect as yours to elucidate abstruse matters." Which proved how very much interested ho was in the subject. Eva Noel came in from tho library for a book just as theprofeesor closed tho door behind him. I noticed that sho wore a buttonhole bouquet with a jacqueminot roso and smilax, which I am positive tho professor wore de livering his lecture. The artful miuje must have picked it up somewhere. "How did you come by thoso flow ers. MNs Eva?" I demanded severely. The girl turned very red. "Some body gave them to me," she said, in insolent defiance. "You wicked girl," broko in Miss Wenham; "do you remember Ananias and Sapphira? Those are tho profes sor's flowers. Vain creature, to sup pose that he would give them to a chit like you! It is shameful." Evn reddened more and more, but 1 could seo that she was tittering and laughing to herself while I sent her to bed. "I will speak to Eva to-morrow. She can't trifle with mo. I do beliovo I can seo through a millstone. No ono can blind me," I said in u tone of deep meaning. "Somo one ought to givo tho pro fessor a hint of Eva's duplicity," sug gested Miss Leonard. "Perhaps it would bo just as wtll to give him a hint of her shocking be havior towards that dissolute wretch. Jack Norris," supplemented Miss Wonham. "I shall certainly do so," I returned in emphatic approval. "Prof. East must be warned he is such a good man such an innocent, unsuspecting disposition wo must take care ol him. I do flatter myself I am a judge of men yes, lie must bo told about Eva Noel." The teachers agreed with me perfect ly; indeed, 1 could not recollect when we wero all so unanimous upon any subject. I thought over all I had to pay to tho professor, until I had nr ringed quite a happy and affecting way of putting it. Plainly it was my duty to secure the professor against the arts and wilts of this, weak, pretty face agirl without the faintest claim to a queenly figure. Prof.East arrived much earlier than was expect? d. However, the moment I heard ol it I saw my opportunity to give him a precautionary hint about Eva's indecorus, artful ways. Tho parlor door was partly open, and tho professor's voice audible from within. I had the curiosity to stop and listen. My position demands watchfulness. "Don't be alarmed," he was saying, "my luck never wavers. That old drngon is no match for me." "But I'm dying with fright all tho time. How can you do it." Tho voice was ho other than Eva's. Sho broke off into a laugh, lait turned first red then palo when I walked in, holding myselt very erect and assum ing my most commanding aspect. It evidently impressed the professor, for he put on his immense green glasses and at once began to talk to mo of the fossils of tho tertiary epoch. I made my points about extinct pachyderms while I had a chance. They wero tell ing and powerful, and, I must Bay, de livered m an eloquent and scientific Btyle. I had been awake until two in the morning reading upon the Biibject. Prof. Enst turned h:s head on ono side, then the other, and looked med itative. "I am lost in admiration; it is your figure tho form of Juno euperb! in spiring!" he suddenly declared, with the delightful, ingenuous candor which I discovered from the very first as a beautiful trait of his disposition. "Don't flatter me, you denr, n migh ty man!" I exclaimed, as I shook my head at him. "Flattery?" he retorted: "I am an unsophistocated fellow, always letting Boiiii) truth slip out and givingoffence. Ah, me, I know you are furious." "Don't apologize, I know the truth will slip out," 1 said very kindly; ho did look so wonderfully hand some, even with thoso hideous green glasses on. "We quite understand each other, and I may say are so con genial that we are sometimes imposed upon. I feel it my painful duty to warn yes, really warn you against a port, forward, insolent girl, as shal low and vain as a peacock." Tho professor camo a step nearer. "I think I know who you mean," ho whispered. I fairly lost my temper not with tho professor not at ail, ho was so good looking, but with that abandoned girl trying to attract his attention. It was scandalous. "Sho is an unprincipled, designing creature," I went on. "And so desporately homoly," ho added. "I know you must think so," was my triumphant reply; "but would Sou believe it, somo peoplo call Eva oel pretty?" "Where havo 1 heard that namo?" ho questioned thoughtfully. "Oh, I havo it, tho littlo girl just now Iscarcn ly noticed; very ordinary, is sho not?" "Fearfully so," I ansm-ed him. "Sho has been badly compromised by a shocking affair with a dissolutescoun drel. .lack Norris. I watch her very cloBely. Tho miserable knavo can't trifle with me. I beg you to remember that this is a mark of my confidence, purely confidential. I mean to out wit that rascal Norris, and, of course, can't allow you to bo taken in. Co mo to mo if Eva speaks, or oven looks at you, my dear professor. I will pro tect yon." Tho teachers interrupted mo by coming in at that moment, hut tho professor pressed my hand gratefully and thanked mo in tho sweetest way as ho went out to the lecture-room. It quito startled and kept me awako long after my hour for retiring, and then, lato as it was, I caught a glimpse through tho window of Prof. East moving through the shrubbery in the moonlight.gazing up at tho windows,perhaps at mine. Tho professor is so unsophisticated, and so very good. I beliovo I mentioned abovo how perturbed and broken my rest was on that eventful night. Several nights havo passed since, but as far as I can seo there is no prospoct oi anything but wakeful nights for a long time. I I slept rather lato in tho morning, aft er tho night that unprincipled heart less, wicked man delivered his last shall I call it lecturo? Miss Leonard mot mom tho sludy.a Bubdued excitpment visible about her. Eva Noel must havo gone home with out leave; the servants havo seen nothing of her; tho girls profess ed equal ignorance. She had not been seen suico retiring the night before. It was mysterious. In my position mystery was not to bo borne. I sent a messenger to Eva's home. The messenger returned with tho appalling news that Eva had not been at, home. Tho mystery deep ened. I had the cellars and garrets searched, tho cistern dragged, tho clothes presses examined, and even tho great soap kettle raised to see if sho could bo underneath. To no pur pose. Miss Leonard rushed suddenly into tho study, and handed meanote. It explained all: "Denr Madam t liavo relieved you ol tho care ol Kvu Noel. Wo woro ninrrloil this inornltiz. I don't cliargo you a cent for my two lectures. I'll oven finish tho courno it yolt will post mo on oxtiuct pnchydorniB. Jack Kaht Nonius." Prof. East and Jack Norris was one and tho Bame. The perfidious wretch! Where is tho salvolatile? Family Fiction. The Future of Our Families. What is our duty as regards provi sion for the future for thoso who aro or may be dependent upon us? There aro two facts that point the path ol duty too plainly to bo misunderstood. Tho first is, that public opinion is dia ly strengthening in the conviction that, in view of uncertain business ventures, unexpected reverses and un fulfilled business plans, all ending m early death or, at least, beloro lifo's expectancy, that it is much tho duty of tho head of the family to protect the life which produces the bread, clothing nnd homes of the family, by sharing with a largo num ber of persons the risks on a certain amount of valuation on such a life, ns it is to protect the house which aheltors tho family by sharing tho risk of its loss by fire with u large number of owners of other houses. This kind ol public opinion shows no niercy to tho householder who fails to insure his house, and tho time hastens when the same public sentiment will say of tho deceased protector, what ever other good things ho may have done, he failed in his duty to accept tho propositions of thoso who offered to share with him the risks of a por tion, tit least, of tho valuation of his life. The second and btrongor motive re sults from tho inwaid consciousness which approves this public sentiment, and which will be clear if we remember that only one-fifth ol the deceased aro solvent, that is, only one-fifth leave anything for friends after the liabilties of their estates aro paid. Two-fifths have enough to pay their indebted ness, and the other two-fifths do not leavo anything. Every individual in commencing life hopes to he of the one-fifth, but four-fifths fnil of this end. It would seem from this, that failure is tho rule of life, and financial success is tho exception. It is well known in business ventures that a small fraction only secure their aim. A few succeed and the courage of the struggling masses is kept up, as they point to their success. Now, friend, saying nothing of the uncertainty of the life which would en able you to secure what you desire lor tho family, your chances aro too small in the stern competition of the age, for you to rely on business suc cess alono for this result. Join our Order and secure a certainty, and then you will enter upon tho race of business and all tha struggles of life with the moro confidence and stronger hopes. It will give peace to your pil low and strength to tho day's battle. The expenso is so small and the ad vantage so great you cannot afford to neglect this opportunity. Kemember still further that now is tho only suro time; sickness or death may be ap proaching. Rainbow. TigawgrTfTrTTT njirmyr i --y"if SkesTK-s' Bound Girl. "Now bo quick about it, and don't Btand thero lookin' at mo that way. Them oyes o' yourn is enough to givo ono tho creeps, they air that ugly. I wish they'd a sent ono a girl with bluo eyes. 1 nover could abide black ones, thero's BOinotliing so ovil in 'cm. Crash. Well, jest look thero! if that ain't tho second dish you'vo broko this weok. I'll cuff you for that, I will. You'll go without your dinner now, too. o'll seo if you can't learn to be moro careful. Sech a thing as you air is enough to wear one's lifo out." Tho "thing" referred to turned to her work. There was a Biiddon scowl upon tho face a littlo dark, colorloss face, lit up with great, black, wide-open eyes, that woro just now shining with a vindictive expression that was any thing but pleasant. "How I do hato her," she was saying to herself, as sho clinched her small fists. "Sho is al ways callin' mo ugly. As if I could help it. Then sho fell to wondering if bv any menus tho color of her oyes might bo changed, bho had never Heard ot such a thing, but if they only could, what a great boon it would bo to her. Her mother had thought hor oyes beauti ful, but she was so different from any body elso. If sho could havo them changed to blue, justoxnetly the eolor of tho sky, how pretty they would bo. So engrossed was sho with tho idea that sho forgot for a time nil about her mistress and hor surrounding. But that 1'isping voico again broko tho silence. "Do dabblo away thoro in tho wator, an bo all tho forenoon wnshin' thorn dishes. 'Penrsns if you tries to seo howaugrivatin'you kin bo. You nover stop to think I reckon, that you ought to do somothin' to pay for the home, an1 clothes, andvitualsyou git; but that's tho way with sech crco tor3 as you thoy'ro always ongrate ful. I don't know what ever put it into my head to want a boun girl anyway. If you don't do better I'll jest turn you over to tho poor-house, I will." Tho "croeter" looked at hor mistress. If sho only dared to speak what a re lief it would bo. What ugly, hateful words sho would spit forth. A home? And what a homo! A baro room in the garret, with a hard, scant bed. Sho did not mind that, if they would only speak to her kindly sometime, orgivo hor now and thon a word of encour agement or commendation. Clothes? Look at thdm cast off garments of her mistress, hastily cut down, ill fit ting, faded, and worn. She did not caro for tho IioIcb in them, or for tho fit of them. If they had been put on her by loving hands no queen in robes of velvet would have been happier. Food? Tho very coarsest. Sho. was novor allowol anytid-bits. With what hungry eyes Bho sometimes watched Mrs. Skeggs caress her boy, Sammy, and feed him sweetmeats hungering not so much for tho sweetmeats as for tho caresses. Would n ny body over lovo hor again? bho wondered. Not Binco tho day her mother, with an effort, turned her white faco toward her, and laying her thin hand upon hor bend tenderly, had whispered, for her voico was nearly gone: "Jnnio, bo a good girl, and wo will meet again by and by," had there been a loving word spoken to her. That was only two vears ago, but it seemed an ago to tho littlo waif. Sho had looked in tearful perplexity whilo they screwed down tho lid of tho rough coffin in which her mother lay, but no ono paid any at tention to her. Sho remembered ono neighbor woman had said to another: "What nn uncanny littlo thing it is; bIio'p all oyes." After they had carried her mother away sho was sent to a children's almshouse, and in a littlo timo a homo was provided for her "out west" in tho Skeggs family. Sho was known ns Skeggs' bound girl. Tho neighbors sometimes remarked that it was very kind of Mrs. Skeggs to take that girl to raise; thoy wouldn't want such a responsibility. "Well, what air you standin' thero about? Why don't you scour your knives now? You always havo to wait to bo told. And do tako them eyes off mo. If I had such ugly oyes Id never look at ennyhody." So tho day wore away. Tho days since bIio camo to tho Skeggs family wero always tedious, but this onn seemed unusual ly long, perhaps because sho had to go without her dinner. Sho had snatch ed a crust unperceived, but toward ovening she felt faint with hunger, and oppressed with an unaccouutnblo heaviness. Sho was drawing a pail of water at tho well when Sammy came in from the field with his father. Ho was a great, overgrown, Jreckled-fnced boy of 12. His" hither went on to tho barn, but Sammy, seeing that Jauo had just about got her bucket to the tot) slip ped up behind hor, grabbing her arms so suddenly that in Iright sho let go tho windlass, and away rolled tho heavy bucket to tho bottom again. Saminy, who thought it hu legitimate right to tease tho "boun' girl" when ever he chose to, burst into loud laughter, but Jano had borne much during the day, nnd this was the last straw. Snatching up a stick that lay convenient, with a voico full of pas sion sho declared she'd "kill him!" There was no doubt murder in hor heart, but tho slendornessof tho stick, and Sammy's overgrown bulk, woro insurmountable difficulties in tho way. Something unusual in her manner convinced Saminy sho was terribly in earnest. He ran into tho house cry ing'Ma.Janesaysshe'llkillme." Mrs. Skeggs sent Sammy for his father. Consternation seized tho family. What should be dono with a creature that showed such dangerous proclivities' "It's born and bred in her," moaned Mrs. Skeggs, "and however air we goin' to break her?" It was decided that sho must bo whipped, but Jano was liko nn animal at bay, dumb, but full of fight. So Mr. Skeggs was obliged to give her a good beating before ho could biibdue hor. Sho was then dragged up stairs and thrust into her little room. Sho sat down on the ono rickety, wooden chair by tho window. For a timo sho was conscious of only one feeling, and that was anger; but after a whilo other thoughts took possession of hor. She went back to hor parting from hor mother, and wondered what sho meant by Baying they would meet again. Bho had hoard something about heaven. Her mother had said sho was going to her homo in tho Bky. Mrs. Skeggs had told hor that only good people wont to heaven, and if bIio didn't mend her ways she would nover got thoro; God could nover lovo such an ill-natured, ugly crcaturo as sho. Still her ideas of heaven wero very vague. Sholookcd up at tho broad expatiBo of blue, whoro tho Btars wero just beginning to twinkle, for twilight wasiust disappearing into tho deeper shades ot night. She thought tho sky very beautiful, but how did peoplo get thero? Tho ache in hor heart scorned tho biggest part of her now. It filled hor breast, and choked her breath. Someone opened hor door nnd put a plate ot bread and a mug of water on tho floor. She wns not hungry now, bo sho snt still, watching tho stars and listening to tho frogs croaking in tho meadow swale, and tho crickets chirp ing under the window. Suddenly a voico seemed to Bnenk to her: "Whv don't you leavo them?" Sbosprang to hor foot electrified. Why had bIio not thought of that before? Yes sho would go. Eagerly she nto of tho bread and duank tho wator. Then sho sat down to wait tor the family to re tire. How tho stars sparkled and laughed in her faco; tho very frogs seemed croaking: "Come! Come!" Sho clasped her hands together in cc Htacy. Sho would go out into tho beautiful, unknown world. What might sho not find? Perhaps aye, perhnps sho would find heaven. She listened only an owl hooting mourn fully in tho distance. At 10 o'clock the houso was all quiot. Jano got out of her window upon tho roof of tho low porch, then crept quietly to tho corner furthcrest from the farmer's sleeping room and onsily Blipped down tho post to the ground, bho hurried to tho open high way. Awe-stricken, sholookcd around. Shu had nover been out at night afono beforo, but sho would not go liack, not tho worst of hobgoblins could equal tho horrors sho was leaving behind. So she walked on. After a timo tho moon camo up and looked smilingly down upon tho wanderor. "What a kind faco it lias," sho thought; "may bo that's Uod." and sho was no longer afraid. Tho dark shadows of tho treos, with bright patches of moonlight be tween, charmed her. Tho bccho ro minded her, some way, of tho fniry tales her mother used to tell her. On, and on sho went, but how tired sho was growing, and what astrango, con tused feeling in her head. Sho was now in tho outskirts ot a village. Creeping under a vine-clad porch sholaiddown. "John, see, hIio is coming to. Why, the poor littlopalothing! Whatbea'u tiful eyes sho has, John." "Oh," thought Jano, "this must bo heaven." Sho looked up; a Bwect faco was bonding ovor her. "What do you Hiipposoover brought her to our porch, John? How pitiful and sorrowful she looks. I wondor if she lay thero all night? Here, Maggie, get tho tub ready, wo will givo her a bath and put hor right to bod her pulso seems foverish mako her somo gruel." Yes, it must bo heaven, for had thoy not spoken kindly to her, and called hoi eyes beautiful. Sho felt sho could bo good hero. "It must not bo so hnrd to bo good when peoplo are kind to you," sho argued. .lane lay in that soft bed sleeping tho most ot the time, but when awake only about half conscious until tho afternoon of tho next day, when a voice from the adjoiningroom reached her ears.startlingher into tho full pos session of hor faculties. "It's my boun' girl, suro. Wo'vo been lookin' everywhere for her. She's nn awful piece, too. Whv, tho very day sho left tho little wretch tried to kill lny boy Sammy." Jano got right out ot bed. Where wero her clothes? Sho could not find them. No matter, she must go in her night-clothes anything to got away from that woman. Sho tried to raise tho window, but she had no strength. Everything scorned growing dark. When a tow minutes later tho good lady of tho houso camo in to look after her chargu sho found hor on tho floor in a dead faint. They restored her to consciousness, but sho soon be camo delirious. "Don't let them tako mo back," she raved. Ican'thogood there. I want to stay horo where they lovo mo." I a fnw days the fever had done its work. Tho "little wretch" lay quiot and peaceable enough, with her hands crossed on hor bosom, and eyelids closed over tho black eyes for ever. Sho was well out of tho reach of tho Skogs family tho bound girl was freo. Shattering Our Idols. A Boston sea captain, who has been afloat for moro than forty years, says he nover yet heard a sailor use such expressions as "shiver my tim bers" or "bless my toplights." If this bo indeed true, it demolishes a most cherished acceptation in our boyish readings and dreams of tho sea. Un say those cruel words, oh, sea rover, or a million grown-up boys will have wrested from them tho most delight ful of their memories of romance. Think, too, of the dangerous prece dent thus established. Other ruthless ones may despoil us of the benevolent bandit, his gorgeous trappings and palatial cavern in the bowels of the earth. It may even transpire that such expressions as "odd fish," "zounds," "forsooth" and "now, by my hnhdom," were nover employed at all, and that in the old days men went around saying "You can bet your sweet life," "cheese the racket," I'whatareyou giving us," and "rats," just as they do now. Leave us, prith ee, these sweet and hallowed memo ries and tako something elso. Texas Sittings. "I tell you," exclaimed Fogg, dog matically, "that woman is not equal to man." "That's true,"remarked Mrs F., who hitherto iiad taken no part in tho discussion; "truv, Daniel; and it is also true that $1 is not equal to 50 cents." Boston Transcript. After Thirty Years. correspondent of tho Atlanta Constitution has recently had tho pleasure of Interviewing a Mr. James II. Whiten, who has just returned Irom a thirty-yearn' stay in tho wild West. His experience in tho frontier life, which is full of Indian skirmishes, bear hunts, etc., is quite interesting, but tho soparatlon from his wife for a period of thirty-years, and what led to their meeting, is tho most interest Ing ieaturo of tho Btory. In January, 1857, Mr. Whiten was married to Miss Nancy Fowler, a beautiful young lady who resided near Westminster, S. C. Young Whiten was very ambitious to prepare his wife a commodious home, both being very poor nt tho timo of their mar riage. Homndoup his mind to try his fortuno in tho West. Tho gold fover waH spreading through tho West at tho timo liko a contagion, nnd Piko's Peak was tho objectlvo point. So in tho following Bpring, when winter winds had given place to tho breezes of spring, and before tho honey-moon liad fairly waned, vown ot everlasting dovotion and fidelity were exchanged and Mr. Whiten turn his faco westward. Attar roughing it fivo yeara among desperadoes and Indians, and having gathered consldcrablo mon ey, hu decided to return to his Nancy; but not bo to be. Tho civil war was then in full blast, and whilo passing through tho state of Texas Mr. Whiten was called upon for his services and had to respond. During his term many letters wero written to tho prcciousonc, but no answer ever came. Through an acquaintance ho was informed that his wifohad refuged to parts unknown. In tho soldier's camp, In tho state of Kansas, tho news ot Lee's surrender reached him. Being destitute of means on which to travel and having learned through an effort to establish a communication that' tho ono was dead for whom it wnB his pleasure to live, he returned to Colo rado thoro to spend tho remainder ot his days in the solitude of tho West. "For twonty-two years," said Mr. Whiten, "I wandered over tho plains and prairies, my thoughts over carry ing mo back to tho placo where I kissed her good-hyo." It seoms that his grief, instead of relax ing, grew more poignant. In tho fall Ot 1887 he met an old friend, Job Steel, in Montana. Mr. Steel told him that it; was very likely that his wifo was stilla living; that lie had a faint recollection of a murriago in an ad joining county of a Mr. Southern to n Mrs. Whiten, who had longsince given up her former husband for dead, and that Southern was dead, so he was in formed, and that the widow's post ofllco was Fort Madison, S. C. Elated by these glad tidingH, Mr. Whiten di rected three lettors to Fort Madison, ono to Mrs. Southern, ono to Mrs. Whiten, and ono to Mr. Whiten, a supposed son of his. Eagerly did ho wait for a reply, but none came. Tho letters remained in tho ofllco till ono day tho postmaster at tho placo was fixing to make a legal disposition of thorn, when a countryman Mr. Latham, chanced to Btep in. Tho postmaster casually asked Latham if no knew ary one by the namo of Nancy Southern or Nancy Whiten. Latham iiappenedto bo well acquaint ed with tho widow, ana, by the re quest of the postmaster, carried tho lettors to Mrs. Southern. Sho an swered him at once, explaining her second marriage; that she had heard he was dead, and expressed great anx iety to Beo him, Mr. Whiten at onco took tho train for Westminster,' 8. C., having boeu, by her letter, informed that siio lived at tho same old place. Arriving at Westminster, he proceed ed to tho old country homeBtend, where tho parting took place. There under tho willow treo in the yard, where thoy parted thirty years be fore, they met again. Timo and troub le had, of course, left its impression upon both. Said Mr. Whiten: "Though tho black curls bIio onco wore wero streaked with gray, and tho sparkling eyo was dimmed, and tho rose had left tho cheek, yet she was as dear to me as ever. We aro now liv ing together as happily as when we parted in the spring of 1857. My son came to seo me last Christmas the llret timo I over saw him and wo all had a jolly time." Vulgar I mitatlon. AdolpluiB Trollopo. "Thero was an old gentleman who had a very tolerable notion ol what is vulgar and what is not, and who characterized 'imitators' as a 'Bervile herd,' and surely if, as wo are often told, this is a vulgar age, tho fact is due to the prevalence of this very tap-root of vulgarity, imitation. Of course I am not speaking of imitation m any ot the various cases in which thero is an end in view outside ot the fact or the imitation. Tho child in order to speak must imitate thoso whom it hears speaking. "If you would mako a pudding you must imitate the cook; if a coat, tho tailor. But the imitation which is essentially vulgar, the very tap-root as I have said, of vulgarity, is imita tion for imitation's sake. And that is why I think modern slang is essen tially vulgar. If it is your real opin ionright or wrong matters not that any slang phrase expresses an idea with peculiar accuracy, vividness or humor, use it by all means, and ho is a narrow blockhead who see3 any vulgarity in your doing so. But for heaven's sake, my dear Dick, don't uso it merely because you heard Bob use it." Mrs. Finnigan: "Ho'a no better, doctor. You towld me to givo him as much of the powder as would lay on six pince. I hadn't a sixpince, but I gave him as much as would go on five pinnies an' two haltplnnies, and it's done him no good at all, at all." Funny Folks.