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About Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190? | View Entire Issue (April 3, 1896)
fc- f s.. S My Debut as a Villain. The company was billed to play my now tragedy, "ThoDripplng Dag gr, or tho Maiden Martyr of Tank villo," at Willowtown, on Tuesday nlght,when suddenly our heavy vil lain absconded, tnkiner with him 95.50, tho entiro amount in tho treasury of tho concornl What was to bo dono about it? It was too lato to advertise for another heavy villain; and besides, thero were vory few of them in tho states at that timo, be cause tho small-pox was not raging in Montreal. We had a consultation, and decided that something must be done. I suggested that as a last re sort, tho part of tho villain might bo left out, and tho heroine might mako away with herselfat tho proper time; but as thero really did not seem to bo any reason why sho should com mit suicido in tho circumstances, wo concluded that it might detract from tho imprcssiveness and destroy tho unity of the play, and that on tho whole my suggestion was not just the thing. Finally tho horoino asked me if I wouldn't play tho part of tho villain! I reminded her that my con tract with tho company expressly Erovided that I should bo oxompt om histronic duties, and, further more, that I know I had no talent whatever for acting, and might bo come embarassed and forgot my part, or do something else equally as unfortunate. But sho persisted that I was just tho man for a villain cut out for tho part, as it were, by nature; and as for getting stuck in my linos; Bhe said that sho would guarantee to help me out of that difficulty her self, as sho knew ovcrv worrl nf t.lin play by heart, and could easily prompt me in a tono that would not bo heard by tho audience. Well, tho result was that tho fair heroine to whose charms I was not altogether blind prevailed upon me, and against my hotter judgment I con sented to tako the part of tho villain. I devoted four days to committing the part to memory. I then re hearsed for tho first time with tho company, in costume, and succeeded in getting as far us the stabbing Bceno without losing my cue. Hero I could not remember whether the vic tim shrieked first or I, in deep bass tones, exclaimed: "Ahal disdainful ono, prepare to die!" Tho result was that wo both gave utterance to our emotions at tho snmc timo, creating a very undramatic hubbub. Tho on tire company broke down and laughed for soveral minutes. But wo irot throutrh tho rest rf tho trnowiv Ell right, and tho second rehearsal went off better still. Wo hod time for just ono more rehearsal before our nppenranco at Willowtown; but this rehearsnl strange to say, was not as good (as far as I was con cerned) as tho second. On Tuesday we took tho afternoon train for Willowtown. I was rather nervous all the way down, but the rent of the company cheered mo up and assured me that the inspiration of appearing before an audience would tako all my trepidation away. Thus encouraged, I mado up my mind not to worry, but to do the best I could when the timo came. Wo arrived in Willowtown just in time for supper, and, nfter refreshing ourselves, we went immediately to bo given,nnd got our limited scenery and properties m shape. By 8 o'clock wo were all on deck, in costume, and, when the stamping of feet and whist ling among tho audience warned us that it was timo for tho curtain to go up, wo gave the Bi'gnnl to the Bhifter, and burst upon the assembled popu lace in all our splendor. I should state, however, that before our splen dor became fully revealed, there was some levity among tho audience, owing to the fact that tho curtain rose at first only at ono corner, re vealing a largo brown jug standing by a painted haycock which, taken in connection with tho harvest scene, of which it formed a part, was well enough, of course, but was rather in congruous, apponring, ns it did, without tho necessary scenic support. The first scene passed off very smoothly, as neither of tho principal characters, neither myself nor tho heroine, appeared. In tho Becond sceno I was to como upon tho stngo in a sort of dark lantern fashion, wrapped in mystery and along black cloak, introduce myself to tho audi ence in a few half audible and occult remarks to one of tho actresses and then disappear as abruptly ns I had come, by a well executed and rapid backward movement, as though I had melted mysteriously into tho gathering twilight. I had performed this feat very successfully at all tho rehearsals, and thought I was ripo for it on tho present occasion. In fact, it was tho only thing in tho rolo which I felt confident of performing to perfection. As I came upon tho stngo, dark, saturnine, forbidding, with ono cor ner of my clonk thrown over my left shoulder, a hush of awo foil up on the assembled audienco. My heart swelled with triumph, and I felt tho inspiration of which my fellow actors hnd spoken thrilling to my very finger tips. Tho lady to whom 1 wns to address my mysteri ous remarks started and cringed as I uppearcd suddenly before her. Tho sopulchrul sentences wore spoken. I raised my hand warningly und be gan to melt away in tho twilight; but, nlasl I had miscalculated tho loca tion of tho opening through which I was to evaporate There was a sudden crash thatresound' T through every part of tho building, and tho next instant I was flat on my back, wrestling with tho fore-ground of the twilight scone, which nad topped over upon mo, whilo roars oflaughter pealed from tho delighted audienco. To add to the ridiculousness of tho per formances the scene Bhifter tried to lot tho curtain down with dispatch, but only tho end opposite to mo would descend and in doing so very unex pectedly it loft ono of our farm la borers on tho outside, nenr tho foot lights. This seemed to incroaso tho amusement of tho audienco. By tho time tho shifter got my end of tho curtain down I was so ex hausted with my emotions that I had to bo carried bodily into tho dressing room. Brandy and other soductivo restoratives wore adminis tered, and I finally camo to sufficient ly to wipe tho perspiration from my brow and groan. Meanwhile tho un feeling audionco wns clamoring for tho play to proceed. All tho mem bers of tho company gathered around and besought me tearfully not to givo up at this importunt juncture. Thoy assured mo that tho accident was by no means an uncommon ono; that tho play need not bo spoiled by it if all else went well; and they sug gested that the audienco would bo more than willing to pardon an episode which had furnished so much innocent merriment not down on tho bills. Finally, when tho heroine, tho lovely heroine, had cast horself at my feet and clasped her clammy hands in my own, pleading with irresistiblo eloouenco ofovn and lin. T cniiHnnr.v. to struggle through the remainder ot tiio ploy and then and there close my histrionic career forever. Onco more the curtain rose and tho piny went on. Like a man in a dream I enmn nni wntif.. mnmlilinir my lines and going through my part in a wooden manner which fairly made tho audienco frantic. But hiss incr and crroana moved mn Tint.? T wnn past cannc for criticism either favor able or adverse. Only onco did I par tially wako up, when a small bov in the audience struck me on the side of the head with a hen pear of tho vin tage of 1814. At last came tho stab scene in tho lonely dell. I think I nover prepared to kill a person with so much delirious pleasure as I pro pared to put that noroino out of tho way, and thus hasten tho consum mation ot tho play. Tho audienco seemed to bo slightly impressed onco more as I camo on in my sablo cloak and soliloquized before the dreadful deed. Tho fatal moment arrived. Tho heroine upproaching through tho forest buried in the sweet (thoughts of innocence and love. I hid behind tho mossy trunk of a treo and awaited her coming. Suddenly my hend whirled and my mind becamo a total blankl I could not for tho life of mo recall the tragic words with which to preface the bloody deed. Tho horoino approached, passed tho tree, scoppea ior a moment in sur prise and then kept on. I did not step forward. I still crouched bo hind the treo. She passed mo again, and as sho did so gave a slight ahem to wako up her delinquent assassin. Then I sprang out and grasped her by the hair. I ought to have known better, but I was not in a condition to know anything or caro for anything. The stage direc tion was: "Tho villian grasps the lady by tho throat.'" To bo grasped by tho hair was evidently as far from tho expectation of tho hero- mo ns anything could possibly bo, for, with tho most natural feminine gesture in the world, she threw bnck both her hands, uttered a little scream of horror and grnspod at tho departing wigl There I stood with my should bo gory hand filled with store hnir, wliilo my right hnnd clutching tho bright knifo, hung sleeveless at my Bide. There was a moment's awful hush, and then tho pathos of tho sceno burst upon tho audience and tho barn was filled with thunders of applauso and demoniac yells. I did not wait for tho curtain to fall; in fact, it did not fall, ns the sceno shifter was not in a condition to norform his accustom nil fnnpt.innn I rushed for tho dressing room and niu myseu unuer a pile oi costumes. Since that dreadful night I have never been inside n, tlipnt.ro. nrwl tlm very sight of a bnrn makes mo turn 1- T t i . r - puio. uniKo s .Magazine. Tho Xuskrat In Delaware. Tho muskrat is naturally a wary animal, but when passed by hunger is quito venturesomo and often vis cious when disturbed. Thoy seldom exceed 5 pounds in weight in this State. They live in burrows or hol low logs, on tho margins of streams, soldom venturing out for lood until nightfall. On tho marshes their towns resemble tho famous "dog towns" of the western prnirio. Thev nro found both nenr snlt and fresh water. Thoy subsist chiefly on water mollusks. They nro most numerous Kent County. Mnny persons living near marshes bordering on Delownro Bay buy largo quantities of marsh land and dovoto their timo solely to muskrat fnrniing. Tho sale of tho hides when cured is quite remunera tive, whilo tho flesh finds a ready salo in the local markets. . A Kansas farmer wns rccontty bit ton by a rattlesnake, when he made a break for a drug store, where ho com menced to pour down whisky. lie was very cool about it, but oxpresed tho regret that his wife had not been bitten instead nf liiinHiIf. H.ncn nn it. was the busy season, ho could not bo won spared irom tuo mrm, wlulo bis wife could. What nro Shooting Stare What do wo know ns certain facta with regard to shooting stars? 1. thoy are vnstly more numerous than any ono has an idea of who has not watched them continuouslyformany nights. Astronomers who hnvo kept a record for many years assure us that thoaverngo number seen by ono observer at ono plnco on a clear, moonless night is fourteen por hour, which is Bhown by calculation to bo equivalent to 20,000,000 daily for tho whole earth. 2. Thoy are not terrestial phenomena, moving in tho lowor atmo8phoro,butcelestiol bodies moving in orbits, and with velocities comparablo to thoso of planets and comote. Their velocities nre soldom under ton miles a second or over fif ty, and averngo about thirty, tho velocity of tho earth in its orbit round tho sun being eighteen, fl. Thoy are of various compositions, .comprising both a largo majority of of smaller particles which are sot on fire by tho reslstnnco of the earth's atmosphere, and are entirely burned up and resolved into vapor long be fore thoy reach it surface, and a few larger ones, known ns meteors.which are only partly fused or glazed by heat, and reach tho earth in the form of stony mnsses. 4. Thoy are not uniformly distributed through space, but collect in meteoric swarmB or streams, two at least of which ro volvo around tho sun in closod rintrs, which nro intorsected by tho earth's orbit, causing tho magniflcont dis plays of shooting stars which are seen in August and Novembor. 5. Thoy are connected with comets, it having been demonstrated bp Schia- ?arellithat tho orbit of the comet of 000 is identical with tho August hwarm of meteors known ns tho Per seids, and connection between comets and moteor Btrenms have been fount in at least three othor cases. The fact is gonernlly belioved that comets are nothing but n condensation of moceorues rendered incandescent by the heat generated by their mutual collision when brought into closo proximity. 0. Thoir composition, as inferred from tho larger meteors which reach tho earth, is identical, or nearly so, with that of matter brought up from great depths by vol canic eruptions. In ench case thoy consist of two classes, one composed mainly of nntivo iron alloyed with nickel, tho other of stony matter, consisting mainly of compounds of silicon and magnesium. Most me torites consist of compounds of the two classes, in which tho stony parts seemto have broken into fragments by violent collision, and become im bedded in iron which has been fused by heat into a plnstic or pasty con dition. Tho Contemporary Itoview. i i With Blind Ejcs. Now York Times. An old man with silver hair was led into tho Cyclorama of Gettysburg by a bright-faced littlo miss in a jaunty gypsy hat and dress and sat down whilo sho described to him tho features of tho picture in detnil, occasionally asking her n question or shaking his head slowly ns if in doubt of the accuracy of her account. Sho had described to him in her own way tho on rush of Pickett's men and tho hand-to-hand conflict at tho stone fence where the Pennsylvnnin veterans met tho chnrge of the Southerners, when ho nsked, "But whero's tho artillery, Mag?" "Oh, you mean tho big guns. They're over here on tho hill in a row." "All in a row?" Ho nsked. "Yes," sho replied. Ho shook his head. "Look around," said he. "There must be some more that are not in line." "Yes," sho said, "thero are some down hero that are nil upset and seem to bo broken. I think thoy are burstod." "Is that whore tho men are coming over tho stone wall?" "Yes, grandpa." "Is there a grovo of trees?" "Yes, grandpa. It seems to bo full of men, but thosmoko is so thick you can not seo them. "Oh, I enn seo thorn," ho cried. It Was then noticed hv Knvornl two. plo who were listening to him that he was blind. Tho littlo girl snid, "Oh, no, grandpa; you can't seo them." "Yes I can," ho answered. "lean see them very well, and tho broken cannon, too." Tho child looked at him with inno cent surprise ns sho said, "You are joking now." "No, my dear," replied tho old man. "No. That was tho Inst timo I over saw on earth. There was a cannon exploded there just this side of that fence, and that was the last torriblo picture I over saw, for it was then I lost my eyesight, and I have nover got tho picture ofitoutofmy hend.'? Bridget, has Johnnie , como homo from school yet? "Yis, son-," "Hnvo you seen him?" "No, sorr." "Then how do you know he's home?" " 'Caiiso the cat's hidin' under the stove, sorr." Time. How much eider did you make this year?" inquired one farmer of another who had ofl'urod a specimen for trial. "Fifteen barrels," was tho answer. Another sip. "Woll, ifyou had an othor npplo you might have mado auother barrel." Burglary by Telephone. Chicago Hcrnld. ' "It is a well-known fact that no other Boctlon of tho population avail thomsolvos more readily and Bpoodily of tho latest triumphs of scionco than tho criminal class," said Inspec tor Bpnflold recently. "Tho educa tional criminal," ho continued, "sklmB tho cream from ovory now Invention, If ho can mnko uso of it. No sato has yot been constructed that keops out tho shrewd and de termined burglar, and that's the way In ovcrything. But I don't recall a caso in which tho truth was more brilliantly demonstrated than tho Maxwell case." "What caso was that?" quorlcd an old newspaper mnn prcsont. "I don't recollect of over hearing of it before." "No, I supposo, you don't Bald Mr. Bonfleld, musingly. :,Thofact of tho matter is it nover was a caso that properly belongs to tho department, but I can speak of it now. You boo it was at tho timo when thotelophono had just been introduced into busi ness and private uso. Qoorgo Max wellthat's not his real nnmo, but it will do as Woll wns at that timo ono of tho most successful specula tors on tho board of trade, and was currently reported to hnvo somo timo ago tipped tho Bcalo which marked tho million. Ho was a iroung and hnndsomo man, nnd ho md just married a charming woman. It was an out-and-out lovo match. A score or so of messnges were dis- Eatchod overy day during business ours. Thoy contained such impor tant queries: "2:10 p. ra. How are you now, lovoy?" And replies like this: '2:05 p. m. I sigh for you. How is my sweetest?' Well, to savo oxpenses nnd to incroaso tho facili ties of communication, Mr. Maxwell connected his office with his homo on Ashland avenuo by private telephone wire. Ho was ono of tho first mon in fihicnirn to cln nn. Alinnt. flvn nut. nf 1 six business hours were now spent by mm at me -neno.' "One day just before the closo of lmctinnon flmiM 4. U1. X1 uu.oiin.oo niuiu win, u Illiy Ul LllU WJ1U- phone. Tho dovoted husband, with a jump, was there. 'What does ray sweot pet wish?' ho murmured. " 'I'm no pet. You mistnko mo, sir!' camo the reply, in an unmistnko ably masculine voico, a voico gruff and rasping, but vory distinct. "'Who are you, then?' asked tho astonished millionaire. " 'I'm Thomas Jefferson Odoll, tho accomplished burglar, ifyou want to know.' " 'Repeat, plooso,' gaspod tho other. " 'Odell, tho burglar, camo tho an swer over tho wire. " 'Tho dovili' exclaimed Mr. Max well. " 'No, only ono of his faithful ser vants. But, now, listen. I have no time to fool away. I and two of my 1als have gained access to your iouso. The cook, tho chambermaid and your wife are lying here bound and gagged. Tho nigger coachman hns been disposed of. Some bundles of oily rags havo been judiciously dis tributed about tho house, readv to bo iffnited.' " 'You bloody scoundrel?' shouted the aironized llllNhnni.. wlinnn nvna j ...., T. .wuw vj ,w were bulging during tho recital. " 'Don't excite yourself. Now, sir. nero is my proposal, ii you should disappear from tho telephone with out acceding to it, I shall set flro to tho house. It's no uso applying to the police for we'd bo too quick for them. You will see, Mr. Maxwell, that you are completely in my power. The only sensiblo thing you can do is to listen to my proposal and to agree to it.' "Oh, I wish I had my hand at your throat, you infernal villainl' shouted the millionaire, mad with rage. " "But you know you haven't, so what's tho uso of talking that way I Let us talk business instead. I need a loan of 20,000 cash. I need it at once. If you are inclind to lend mo that sum without guarantee I shall leave your houso with my pals in ex actly tho same condition in which I found it." "You are ruining me," groaned Maxwell. "And I don't think I havo that much money in cash in the otiico sate." "You'll forco mo to commit an atrocious deed." enmn tho romnram less reply. "All right then yes, I'll pay, but to whonu" "It is now 5:15 exactly. At this very moment my pal has entered pour office to receivo tho money. You will pay him and ho will tell you tho watchword agreed to between u, which you will telephone to mo at once." "Mr. Maxwell turned nround. A Btranger of plensant mein, dressed in tho height of fashion, stood before him. Snid tho visitor: "I have called to collect a littlo matter of 20,000 for a friend of mino, Thos. Jefferson Odell." "Correct!" replied Mr. Maxwell, who went to tho sufo, took from it two bundles containing 10,000 each, and hnnded tho money to tho stran ger. The latter ascertained that tho amount was correct, then placed tho money inside his two breast pockets. "And tho wntchword?" queried Mr. Maxwell. "Do right and intrefero notl" re plied tho burglar's confederate with a great deal ol dignity, and strodo out of the office with all tho gran dezza of a Spanish hidalgo. " 'Do right and iuterfuro notl" joy fully shouted Mr. Mnxwoll through the telephone 'Andnowyou'lnleavo my promises, Mr. Odell, won't you? Anal, for my wife ' 11 'Havo no foar, Mr. Maxwoll,' re plied tho man at tho othor end. 'You havo to deal with a burglar and a gentleman.1 j "Mr. Maxwell looked his ofllco. rot into his buggy and drovotohlshonso at a Maud S. paco. Tho more cloBoly ho approached tho keener his foar of acatastropho becamo. But as ho Btoppodat tho gate ho noticed noth ing out of tho way. Ho sprang up tho stairs, two at a timo, nnd ontored tho pretty boudoir of his prettlor wlfo. Sho wns qutotly rending. " 'How you muBthnvo suffered, my angoll' ho cried, and a Bob shook his voico. 'Tho young wlfo lookod up aston ished. Buffered? I?' " 'That burglar, you know It must hnvo been awful. Oh, you poor darling!' " 'Why, Qoorgo, dear, what is tho matter? You Bpcak In riddles.' " 'But didn't ho gagyou?' ho asked. " 'Now, boo hero, Ueorgo, I wish you would talk Bonso. what do you mean?' "After Mr. Maxwoll had finlBhod tho recital of his advonturo ho askod: 'Wasn't thoro Bomobody horo using my telophono?' " 'Why, yes thoro was.'ropliodMrs. Maxwell. 'A young nnd well-dressed young man, looking liko a successful business man, enmo, introducing hlmsolftomons"Mr. Thomas Jeff erson Odoll, a Bpeculator," and re quested permission to mnko ubo of your prlvnte telophono to send you a messago. Of courso, I gavo him Ecrmission. Ho used tho telophono ut a couplo of minutes and then camo back into tho parlor, thankod mo for tho favor I had dono him nnd went away, Baying thotelophono was a very useful invention it facilitated business bo much.' " 'And that was all?' asked Mr. Maxwell, 'ho didn't gag you and tho servants? Ho wns alono? Ho didn't offer vlolcnco to you? " 'Why, nol Ho was vory polite and gontlomanly quite ns much as you are at this momont, George!' " 'Oh, tho dovili' oxclaimod Georgo, with a wild outburst. 'What an In fernal ass I've mado of mysolfl Ex cuso mo, pot, but I can't holp it. I'll drive over and tell the police about it ' "That's what ho did," concluded Bonflold, "and that's tho way I camo to know about it. But after talking tho thing over with mo, and nfter consulting with tho smartest detect ives wo had at tho timo, wo camo to tho conclusion that thoro was no chance of recovering tho monoy. Tho pair wore too slick. And in Bpito of all wo'vo dono sinco then wo'vo hoard nothing more of the 20,000, nor of Mr. Tliomos Joflorson Odell and his pal." i Flowers lu tho Hat. It Is tho custom In tho Tyrol for a man, when ho is ongnged to bo mar ried, to wear a bouauot in his hat. Thodamsel gives him, every day or two, a lresli bouquet, picked lrora the flower-pots in her window. Should sho provo flcklo, and jilt the swain, tho other young men of tho villngo assemblo undor hor window and throw down tho flower-pots. A stranger wonders, on seeing so many men with bouquets stuck in their hats, why thoy do not marry, espec ially as not a fow of them are what wo call "old bachelors." Tho ex planation is that tho village com mune will not allow any person to marry unless ho con show that ho has laid by a sum of monoy sufficient to support a family. A lady, traveling through Tyrol in a stell-wngon, a cross between n dilligence nnd an omnibus, over heard tho driver talking to a man at his Bide on tho box, nnd complaining of his occupation. Ho had workod hard for many years, ho said to got monoy enough to mnrry; but the sum wns far bolow what it must bo before tho commune would give him permission to mnrry tho woman to whom ho wns engaged. It incrensod bo slowly that ho did not know if ho should over got tho coveted permis sion. Sometimes n dozen or more of engaged young men and women, de spairing of ever geting monoy enough to secure tho commune's per mission, go on a pilgrimage to Bomo, begging their way on foot. When there, thoy nre mnrricd; but, on their return to tho native villnge, they are fined ns a punishment for break ing tno law. Protection From Insect Bites. Tho Loudon Lancet says: Many people do not know how easily thoy can protect themselves nnu their children against tho bites of gnats and other insects. Weak carbolic acid sponged on tho skin nnd hair, and in somo eases the clothing, will drive awny tho whole tribo. A great many children nnd not a fow adults are tormented throughout tho whole summer by minuteenemies. Wo know persons who are afraid of picnics nnd ovon of thoir own gardens on this ac count. Clothing is an imperfect pro tection, for wo havo seen a child whoso foot and nnklo hnd been stung through tho stocking so seriously that for days sho could not wear a leather shoo. All this can bo averted, according to ouroxporiei.ee, nnd that we boliovo ofmanyothora, by carbolic acid judiciously used. Tho safest plan is to keep a solution of tho acid. Tho solution should not contnin more than six or seven per cent., and ' it may bo added to water until tho latter smolls strongly. This may readily and with porfect safoty bo np j'od with a sponge. Wo havo no doubt that horsos and cattlo could be protected in tho samo way from tho flics which sometimes nearlv madden them. Tho United States Supreme Court. New York Qrnpbic, Tho opening of tho Supremo Court is ono of tho stago accessories to of ficial llfo at Washington. Any om who has over been present will nover forgot tho sceno. Tho room is a stuf fy ono at best nnd is rnthor an owlish looking place. Ono placid-faced ne gro sits at tho door with a string in his hand to help him opon it without trouble Another but a white-haired son of Africa sits inside to aid him. Nolthor ono of thorn would demean himself by pulling tho string for any ono less than a Senator or a mombor of tho Houso. OrdinarycitizonsmUBt push thoir wnyinsldo unaided. No ono must carry a nowspnper openly within tho sacred precincts, for tho rule Is absolute that no reading of journals is allowed in tho court, Nor must any notes of tho proceedings bo taken tho official reporter is to do nil that. Onco insldo supposo tho clock over tho door is striking noon. If it is striking at all that is tho hour ono hears, for It novor sounds savo to call tho court togother. Behind tho long curtains that hang in tho rear of tho bonch tho Judges are formed, dressed in thoir silkon robes. Tho gravofacod old crior stands at ono ond of tho court nnd then looks sternly around to note If all are in proper state to recolvo thoir honors. Thon, with an clovated chin and a loud voico, ho unnounr.es, "Tho Honornblo thoChicf Justice nnd tho Associated Justices of the Supremo Court of tho United Statcsl" Tho audionco rises, tho cur tain parts, tho Judges Btop forward and, bowing low, stand an Instunt facing those present, who return tho salutation. "Oyoz' oyoz," says tho modulated voico of tho crier; "all IicrsoiiB having any business with tho nornblotho Supremo Court of tho United States tiro admonished to draw near' for tho court is now in session." And, with a quick, sharp glance around to boo thnt nounro genorate citizen hns yot dared to bo soated, tho official adds, Impressively, "God savo tho United States and this honornblo court." Tho business has begun. t i Mil A Washington Scnsntlon.il Preacher. Tho nation's capital has a young preacher who is trying to blossom out as tho most sensational pulpit orator In this part of tho country. Ho bears tho peculiar namo of EdHez Swem, and Is at present in churgo of ono of tho Bnptist churches. Hogavo notice a fow weeks ago that he would commonco a sorios of Sunday evening sermons on Washington wickodnoss. His opening shots wore scattering, ns if ho wanted to be certain that his now stylo of preaching would tako with tho press and tho pooplo. In a gonornl sort of way ho told his hear ers in effect that tho Capital city was worso than nncient Babylon, and promisod details later. Only ono pa per noticed his sermon. The parson is young, nnd has a dudish appoar anco. A fow days ufter his first effort ho was around on Newspaper Bow leaving his card, and incidentally try ing to discovor if any of tho, outsido fapera had referred to his sermon, ndced, ho snid that ho had been told that ono of tho London papors had an account of his first sormon. Ho was told that no London publisher hnd become crazy onough to ordorby telegraph a Washington sermon. Tho last effort of Rev. Ed Hez Swem was aimed directly at editors, correspond ents and reporters. Ho pictured thom ob a horriblo class of citizens, and said that the reporters would gladly lie for their editors and that thoygot their orders from their superiors. Tho Post has taken hold of this clerical stripling, yearning for notoriety, and has published ono of his lotters mak ing a request that a reporter bo sent without fail to write up his sermon. Such a mnn as this can't last long as apreacher, and when ho pictures Washington as boing worso that any other city of its sizo ho simply dosont know what ho is talking about; and according to tho common expression so often heard, ho ought "to take in tho town" and find out something. i i A Conspicuous Arrlral. From the Boston Courier. Tho brutality with which newly married people are treated by their Jesting friends is constantly receiving fresh illustration. At a recent Bos ton wedding a couplo of sportive ushers discovered the train on which tho bridal couplo were to loavo town and whnt baggago thoy had. Driv ing swiftly to tho station thoy con fided their plan to tho baggago mas ter, and, with his connivance, they affixed to each handle of tho trunks of the bride nnd nn enormous how nf white satin ribbon. If tho groom aid not blnspliomo when he saw the decorated trunks deposited in tho hall of tho-hotel to which lin ivinh. lin may take the rank of Job for patience. mm Uneasy Lies tiio Bead. A thoroughly well-authenticated anecdote, illustrating his great tact, was told of Disraeli Boon nfter ho was created Earl of Beaconsfield. It appears that not long after his LlllllOj.lllJlllll.lUU LU LIJO I1UUBU OI Lords, Disraeli met a brother peer in the streot, who nsked him how ho liked tho change. "Liko it!" exclaimed Disraeli, for getting himsolf for a moment, and blundering out with tho truth, "liko it! I feel ns if I were dead ond buried alive." Then, seeing the expression of discomfiture on the peer's face, ho added hastily, with a courtly and irresistiblo smilo, "And in tho land of tho blessed!"