J.
.11
I )
V '
,
CHAPERON THE aiRLS.
MORE PROTECTION FOR THESE
YOUNG PEOPLE.
Women Should Make Krery Effort lo
He Their Daughter' Confidante anil
Secure Them for Companions ami
Frlenili.
OW many glrlB rre
meet between the
nges ot 13 and 17
who nre going out
in company without
either father or
mother accompany
ing them. Either
they go out alone or
with a young girl or
young man as eas
ily Influenced as
themselves. These young people have
an Idea thnt their parents arc growing
old and nre of a different generation
from themselves, and therefore they
neither understand nor sympathize
with them, so they seek suggestions
from those who they think will coincide
with their views and with the times
generally. How differently the daughter
feels toward the wise mother who has
made of her a friend and companion
from childhood. Bound up in the love
and Influence and confidence of such a
mother there will he no question con
cerning the useful womanhood of such
a daughter."
"But sometimes," I interrupted, "one
sees daughters that are far superior In
moral character to their mothers."
"There are instances, of course,
.where the daughter would ho better oft
had the mother no influence whatever
over her," was the answer.
"It is shameful that such a state of
affairs should exist, and yet it Is true.
The mother Beems as greatly pleased
over the daughter's success in 'catching
new beaux' as other mothers feel when
their daughters receive prizes for ef
ficient work in school. They proudly
exhibit the packet of love letters the
daughter has received in one week, and
we have only to look out upon the
street of any town, from twilight until
0 to 10 o'clock in the evening, to see the
result of such training. Young girls
dressed In their best arc noticed walk
ing up and down the streets, endeavor
ing to attract attention or chatting with
pome youth upon u street corner. These
are somebody's daughters. Are they
yours? Perhaps some mothers will
ask: 'What harm, so long as there are
other girls with her?' But who nre the
other girls, and what is their Influence
ovqr your daughter? Do you suppose
these girls are the confidential compan
ions of their mothers, or that they re
peat to them one-half the conversation
which passes between them and their
street friends?
"If you have not previously secured
your daughter's confidence, however, be
sure it will not be given you then; for
her timidity and bashfulness will be
far greater at that time than ever be
fore. If she does not go to you she gath
ers a little information from one young
friend, a little more from another, and
very likely none of it correct and much
of it harmful.
. "The complaint of the paragraph, I
think is just. Women should make
every effort to bo their daughters' con
' fidantes yes, and their sons', too."
Philadelphia Press.
Snliirlr of lEulrra.
The president of the French repub
lic receives 1,200,000 francs; the Amer
ican president, 250,000 francs, while the
president of the Swiss republic has only
13,500 francs. Tho allowance of the
queen of England and her family is
placed at 50,000,000 francs; the king of
the Belgians, at 4,000,000 francs; tho
little queen of Holland and her mother
at 2,500,000 fr"ancs; the emperor of
Germany at 11,700,000 francs; the king
of Italy at 14,250,000 francs; the king
of Spain and his mother at 7,450,000
francs; the king of Portugal and his
mother at 3,800,000 francs; the emperor
of Austria-Hungary at 23,325,000 francs;
the king of Sweden and Norway at
6,500,000 francs; the king of Denmark
at 2,400,000 francs, and the king of
Greece at only 1,300,000 francs.
The Pyramid Limp.
"The pyramid limp," as It has come
to be called, Is that state of body which
falls upon one for two or three days
after making the ascent of the pyra
mids. One is so much pulled and pushed
at the time that little or no Inconveni
ence Is felt. There Is no sign of sore
ness of Joint or muscle until after one
has slept, and then the trouble begins
to brew. The second day of that man
or woman Is worse than the first; the
climax Is reached at the end of the sec
ond or the beginning of the third day,
and from that time the patient begins
Elowly to recover.
A Tree Know It Friend.
R. M. Kellogg, a Michigan fruit
grower, says that a tree has Its likes
and dislikes; that it knows Us friends
and enemies when they approach, and
has a degree of intelligence generally.
He believes trees are as alive to their
surroundings as animals, and that their
sensibilities must be touched to gain
the best results. He has made a life
long study of fruit trees and fruit grow
ing. He exploited his theory at the
Joint convention of western Michigan
horticultural societies in Grand Rapids
the other day.
Society.
What Is the difference between so
called good society and the despised
low society? Simply in the manner In
which they express their mutiny
against God. Rev. Dr. Rlker, Wheel
log, W. Va.
MWaW
CONTENT WITH A QOLD MINE.
Btrutton, the Crlppts Creek Miner, li It Wan a Itacer When It (lot Started
Taking Life Kay These Day. I on the Way.
From the New York Herald: Ono ot "Did you ever hear of Flnnegnn'a
the richest of the Crlpplo Creek gold mulo?" queried Charley Maun, door
mine owners is a miner known to ell keeper of the press gallery of the house
as "Old Man" Stratton, who, until a ' of representatives, to a Washington
few years ago, was a poor, hard-work- j News mnn. "Ho was probably tho
ing carpenter. He went to Colorado do- greatest mule ever foaled. He could
termlned to make a lucky strlko If it trot a mile In 2:40 If you could control
were possible to do so. He made the
strike and tho claim ho located yield
ed ore which ran from $300 to $400 to the
ton. At one time ho accepted an offer
of $150,000 for tho mine, and received
$10,000 cash down. Then came tho
financial denresstons of 1893 and tho
. i it . i. .... nrvi.l M,,i.' i
CUIUIllCl ILMl UlIUUKIl, UUl VIU .hum
Stratton had the $10,000 and used It
to develop his mine. He was soon tnk-
Ing so much out of his mine that he
illil Vnnxv ivlinf n (In with If. lie Was
a millionaire now, and when he began
to think of tho hundreds ot thousands
of dollars he had In bank nnd of the
thousands that were coming each day
from the mine, ho, said to himself: "I
must go slow: If I do not look out I
will go crazy." And then this singular
man came to an odd conclusion. Ho
did not want his money in the banks,
nor did he want the bother of Invest
ments. And so he has gone ahead and
pushed his drifts along tho veins and
run shafts, and, as tho phrase Is,
"blocked out the ore." To-day he has
$2,000,000 or $3,000,000 worth ot "ore In
sight," and probably more. Ho does
not know how much there Is himself.
Ono day a man enme to him and said:
"Will you take $10,000,000 for your
mine?"
The old man replied:
"Do you happen to have a million in
your pocket?' '
The man said:
"No, but I guess I can get It."
Then Stratton added:
"Well, if you would give me ten times
ten million, nnd put a million In gold
down to bind the bargain, I wouldn't
sell. If I had the money I wouldn't
know what to do with It. So long as
it is down in tho mine no ono can take
it away from me, and I can tako It
out as fast as I please."
And so this man sits in an unpre
tentious little office in Colorado Springs
and looks up towards Pike's peak, Just
beyond which lies the Independence
mine, and gently dreams of the day
when, If it pleases his fancy, he may
take a million dollars from the depths
of the earth between tho rising and the
setting of the sun.
A Feathered Prodigy.
Ellas MIdklff of Hamlin, Lincoln
county, was in Charleston the other
day and proposed to the State Histor
ical and Antiquarian society that If it
would send a taxidermist to Hamlin
the society could secure a monster bird
of a kind never seen before by any one
In West Virginia. Tho feathered mon
ster is described by Mr. MIdklff, from
measurements taken by himself and
W. W. Adklns of Hamlin, who killed
tho bird at tho mouth of Vannatters
creek, with five bullets from his rifle,
while hunting deer on Monday. The
bird Is 7 feet 4 inches from tip to Up,
4 feet from tip of bill to tall, flat bill 4
inches long and 3 Inches wide, some
what similar to that of a duck, web
feet, covering nearly a square foot of
aiea each; neck 10 inches long, legs
about 11 inches long and about Vj
inches through below tho feathers,
plumage dark brown, relieved on the
wings and breast by light blue shadlug.
The bird when first seen was circling
high in the air, but came down very
quickly nnd alighted In tho water,
where Adklns got a good shot at It,
crippling Us wing. Adklns attempted
to capture the strange fowl alive, 'but
it was so vicious that lie could not get
near It without killing It, which re
quired five bullets. Baltimore Amer
ican. ERRORS ABOUT WOMEN.
The mother of Corlolanus did not In
tercede with her son to spare Rome.
The story has no better foundation
thnn that of Horntlus.
Pocahontas did not save the life of
John Smith. It has been ascertained
that this worthy man was the most
able-bodied prevaricator of his century.
Fair Rosamond was not poisoned by
Queen Eleanor, but, after a long resi
dence as a nun in tho convent of Gad
stow, died greatly esteemed by her as
toclates. Queen Eleanor did not suck the
poison from her husband's wounds, as
she did not accompany him on tho ex
pedition during which tho Incident Is
alleged to have taken place.
The hanging gardens of Babylon did
not hang, nor were they gardens. They
were terraces supported by arches, anil
overgrown with trees. They were
erected for the amusement of a Baby
lonian queen who had come from a
mountainous country.
The seige of Troy was mostly a myth.
According to Homer's own figures if
there ever was such a man as Homer
Helen must have been at least CO years
of age when she first met Paris, and
even In the heroic period of the world
women at that ago were a trine
"passee."
Sappho, tho poetess, was not a wan
ton beauty, nor did she throw herself
from tho Leucadian cliff to be cured of
an unworthy love. Tho latest investi
gations prove her a respectable mar
ried woman with a large family, which
she reared with as much care as a Greek
matron usually gave her children.
Mary Stuart ot Scotland was not a
beauty. She had cross-eyes, and to save
the trouble of having her hair dressed
cut it off close to her head and wore a
wig. When, after her death, the exe
cutioner lifted her head to show It to
the people, tho wig came off and dis
played a close-cropped skull covered
with gray hair.
FINNEOAN'S CRAZY MULE.
him, but there wns the rub. Ho un
questionably carried, on tho dam's
aide, race horse blood. When 1 Inno
cently purchased him about ten years
igo, I knew nothing of his past record.
The truth Is, my father wanted a mulo
lo work In a treadmill, and I purchased
him at an auction sale. One day I
wanted to go to tho Plmllco races In
comnanv with a friend of mine, and aB
no norse waa nt nnml we pntched up nn
oltl harness, borrowed an old, rnm
shacklo gig and started for tho track.
The mule drove quietly enough nnd
seemed entirely devoid of guile. When
wc drovo up to the Plmllco gates wo
found a lino of hacks In front ot us.
Tho driver ot one of tho rear hacks
happened to look back as wo drove up,
and after making a careful Inspection
of tho mulo suddenly shouted to his
companions in front ot him In n loud
voice, 'Say, boys, hero's Finnegnn's
mule.' Then began the greatest stam
pede you ever saw of tho hacks. Why,
they fairly fell over one another In get
ting away. Subsequently I ascertained
the cause of the stampede. It appears
that the mule was well known In cer
tain quarters of Baltimore, nnd waa
known as 'Finnegan's crnzy mule. He
had a habit, when owned by Flnnegan,
of jumping on any vehicle In front of
him and destroying the snme. No ono
had been able to hold him when excit
ed by racing him on the road or track,
so that for driving ami racing purposes
he had, In other hnnds, become prac
tically worthless. When 1 learned his
history I put n rubber bit on him, In
stead of tho cruel bits with which ho
had formerly been driven nnd which
lacerated his mouth to such an extent
as to make him uncontrolnble. When
I got him in shape I matched him
against some of tho fast trotters In Bal
timore. If he felt just right nnd did
not get mad, it took a good trotter to
beat him a mile. For some reason or
other, however, he would not repeat
heats. Ono mile was as much as he
could stand, for when he was brought
out for tho second heat ho would In
variably bolt tho track, and no man
was ever found strong enough to con
trol him when in one of his crazy fits.
Myself and friends won a pot of money
witli him In single heats. He had ns
pretty n trotting action as any ono
eared to see; splendid knee action, nnd
how fast he could put 'em In when he
wanted to! His reputation extended to
the surrounding country, nnd I sold
him to some sporting parties In Nor
folk, Vn for $500. He subsequently
won some races In fust time for a mule,
and certainly was a wonder. Ho was
the only fast trotting mule ever pro
duced that we have any history of."
"o Water In tho Sun.
Professor Janssen, tho astronomer,
has recently made a visit to the ob
servatory on the summit of Mont Blanc,
to make sure that the new telescope
which had been carried there Is unin
jured. He took the opportunity to search
in tho spectrum of the sun for evidences
of water in our great lumlnnry. He
found no such evidence. The very rare
and dry air through which the observa
tion wns made, at the top of tho moun
tain, gives this negative result much
value. But It cannot be said thnt there
Is no water In the sun; only that none
has yet been discovered in Its constl
Uitlon. Tho Croat cut Structure.
Tho largest structure on tho earth,
when compared with the size of the
builders, Is tho nnt hill of Africa. Some
of these mounds have been observed
fifteen feet high and nine feet In diame
ter. If a human habitation were con
structed on the same scale it would be
more than seven miles high.
JUST STRAY BITS.
The estimated cost of the Suez ennni
was $40,000,000. Its cost when opened
for traffic was nenrly $92,000,000 and
nearly $40,000,000 has since been spent
In deepening and widening it.
Tho foreign immigration to United
StateB for the last year was the smallt
since 1879. The total number of ar
rivals was 25S.53C.
The present royal family of Russia
began with a certain Michael Romanoff,
who was made czar in 1613.
The longest novel In the English lan
guage Ib probably Samuel Richardson's
"Clarissa Harlowe."
To make a piano sound like a banjo
place a slip of paper the length of a
keyboard between the hammers and
the Ivories of the piano. Tho notes
when struck wil give the same sound ns
i banjo, says an English exchnnge.
Did King Solomon Import horses from
Spain? A noted Spanish archaeologist,
Lopez Martinez, and a German man ot
letters, Leo Anderlind, nre sure bo did.
Both these men say tho horse went from
Europe to Asia, instead ot vice versa.
Horse fossils found In Spain date from
the prehistoric pprlod, long prior to the
Immigration of tho Aryans, 2,000 B. C.
The merits of the Iberian horses, fa
mous 3,000 years ago as now, were sure
to be known to the wisest of men, nnd
the convoy of horses from Spain to
Palestine wns not difficult to accom
plish by the sea route. Moreover the
sum stated In tho Old Testament to
havo been paid to King Hiram for
temple building materials Is stated by
modern appraisers to bo eo excessively
largo that It Is now supposed to include
tho price ot the thousands of horses
Solomon possessed.
THE "LADY'S" MAID.
IS
OFTEN OVERWORKED AND
RARELY APPRECIATED.
Mr, .lolin II. llockefeller Ilai a .lewd
Vi'hoae Value It Not' Ciidnreatlmated
Mr. Cnrneltn Vnnilrrbllt (lite Her
Maid Utile Trouble.
TYPICALLY well
mnldetl woman la
Mrs. John D. Rock
efeller, who, no
matter how simple
her costumo may
be," said nn admir
ing person and cap
able critic, "bears
the Impress ot an
artist's hand upon
her, from tho crown
of her sleek head to the tips ot her Irre
pronchablo cnrrlago shoes. Such a
maid Is worth her weight In wnges, and
could get It whenever she chose to leave
her present employer."
The nearest rival of Mrs. Rockefel
ler's maid Is Mrs. Crugor'n fommo do
chnmbre. She Is n f unions French
woman, n particularly capnblo hair
dresser, and her chief recommendation
to her lndy Is tho quality most highly
esteemed In tho smnrt maid, of under
standing her mistress' moods. These
Intelligent servants quickly learn to
study their employer's nerves nnd tem
per. They know when, to sootho with
sympathy, when to cheer with a bit of
flattery, or placate with a llttlo well
timed gossip.
But don't for n moment think tho
ladles' maids lives are spent only In
pretty trifling over the mistress' toilet
and accepting scoldings or careless
confidence. Ot the latter they do re
ceive a good deal, but any ono who has
visited In the smart houses can see that
tho more wealthy and fashionable tho
woman they servo the harder and I
more trying their work. For example,
Mrs. Frederick Vundcrbllt's maid, in
town or in Newport during the season,
must make and uumnkc complete toil
ets for her mistress ns often ns five
times a day. No Icsb than sixty gowns
nre constantly to be kept In apple pie
order, five or six hours of sleep out of
twenty-four Is nil tho maid catches, and
she Is hold accountable for every valu
able In her charge.
Mrs. Cornelius Vanderbllt, on the
contrary, gives her maid very llttlo
trouble. Sho practically makes her
own toilets, and the attendant Is never
allowed in the room till sho is ready to
have her gown hooked In place. The
mother of tho duchess of Marlborough,
unlike her sisters-in-law, keeps two
maids, and both of them Irish girls that
sho had specially trained for her uso,
and Mrs. Phoebe Hearst characteristic
ally has chosen for her maid a Swedish
girl who speaks flvo langunges.
Now Mrs. Wlllinm Astor, tho most
considerate and gracious lady In tho
world, Is a genuine heroine with her
servants. Only sudden death or
equally implacablo matrimony hns
ever robbed her of her maids. No tir
ing woman ever waited up for her un
til after 11 o'clock, nor suffered rebukes
for any passing whim, and" they tell n
pretty story of a country houso lady's
maid, n poor over-worked thing, who
was detailed to aid this distinguished
guest In dressing for dinner. Awaiting
the lady's arrival in the bedroom, sheer
exhaustion overcame watchfulness,
and down among tho divan pillows tho
girl fell asleep. A glance nt tho pale
face was enough for tho kindly lndy,
who quietly made herself ready, turned
the gas low, left a consoling tip In the
sleeper's hand, went softly out of the
room, and It was only by way of the
servant's hall that the Incident came to
light.
Hiii lllxrlillfited limnnlly.
The following story Is told of John
Brennan of Stevens Point as a crim
inal lawyer. The story goes that a
farmer who had killed his wife in tho
northern part of tho state 3unt for Mr.
Brennan to defend him, offering to
deed him his farm if he would take the
case. Brennan wanted his pay in ad
vance and so tho farmer made over the
property to him. The murder was n
most brutal and cold-blooded one and
Brennan knew that there was but one
plea that might save his client from
a life sentence and that was Insunlty.
The trial was one of the fiercest ever
fought In a Wisconsin court. The at
torney for the defense occupied a whole
day In his closing address to the Jury
and the effort was a masterly one. The
jury found tho man insane and he was
sent to Oshkosh. Once there he Im
proved rapidly and In a few weeks was
discharged. His first act was to sue
Brennan for tho recovery of his prop
erty on the ground that he was Insane
at the time he deeded it.
In the face of his own argument that
tho man was insane Brennan could do
nothing and the farmer won the case.
Brennan has blacklisted insanity as a
defense for murderers. Milwaukee
Journal.
I'overty to Wealth.
The advanco corps of wealth and busi
ness ability that is moving through this
country is recruited and strengthened
and made up by men from tho ranks of
poverty. Stewart, the "Humboldt of
Merchants," and Henry Clews, tho
"Shukespearc of Bankers," are world
renowned geniuses who forged their
reputations and successes on the anvil
of self-reliance and energy. Rev. C. A.
Oakes, Reformed, Kingston, N. Y,
Saloon and Treaion.
The saloon Is n chronic offender.
Chronic violation breeds contempt of
law and leads to efforts at nullification
and rebellion. In essence it Is treason.
Rev. W. C. Snodgrass, Newark, N. J.
JEALOUS OF STRANCERS.
They Seek to Hide Pome I'arta of the
Kternul City from the Vulgar (late.
It seems to be a part of the real slm- ll wn8 "me Ior uie nSni cierx to re
pllclty of tho ltnllari'Lntln to put on a nort for ' 1Ie "d t appear, says
quite useless look of mystery on nil oc- I wrlter ,n tnc Buffalo Express. The
caHlotis, and to assume the nlr of a con-1 ,,n.v cltrk "" fileePy aud anxious to
Bplrator when buying a cnbbage; and Bet )lom('- But. coura. h couldn't
more than one great foreign writer has 'lcpcrt hln Pst- e 8tootl tor lw
fnllon Into ilin -rrnr nf 1.i.1lvlne tho llol,rB' Still tllO night Clerk Came not.
Italian character to be profoundly com-
plicated. Ono Is apt to forget that It
needs much deeper duplicity to mrtln
tnln an appearance of frankness under
trying circumstances than to make a
mystery of one's marketing nnd n pro
found secret of one's cookery. Thero are
a few things which the poor Italian
more dislikes thnn to be watched when
when ho In buying nnd preparing his
food, though he will nsk anyone to
shnro It with him when It Is ready; but
ha Is almost ns prone to hide everything
else that goes on lnsIdoltls house, un
less ho hns fair warning of a visit and
full time to prepare himself for It. This
Ih perhaps not entirely a race peculiar
ity, but rather n survival of mediaeval
life as It was nil over Europe. There
am pretty clear Indications In our own
literature that the ladles nnd gentle
men of 200 or 300 years ago did not like
to bo caught unprepared by Inquisitive
visitors. Tho sllkB nnd satins 111 which
they are portrayed would not have
lusled a lifetime, as they did, If they
hail been worn every day. Ah for the
cleanliness of those times, the less snltl
about It tho better. In Rome there
was a long period during which not a
single aqueduct was In working order,
and It was a trade to clear a supply of
water out of the Tiber from a portion
ot tho yellow mud by letting It settle In
reservoirs, and to sell It In the streets
for nil household purposes. Who
washed In those dnyn? It Is Bafer to ask
tho question now thnn it would have
been then. Probably those persons
washed who were tho fortunate owners
of n houso well or rain wnter cistern,
nnd thoso who had neither did not.
Perhaps that was very much tho same
all over Europe. It Ib certainly to tho
credit of Trastevere thnt It Is not n dirty
place to-day, by Italian standards.
HE HAS FITS FOR A LIVING.
Daniel llvnn Can I lino Tlum In ,IHII
Now If Ho Witnt to.
Brooklyn detectlveH say that Daniel
Evans, 19 years old, with no home, Is
tho greatest "fit fakir" they have met
professionally In the course of n long
and varied experience, says the New
York Tribune. He has been pretend
ing to "Inko fits," they say, with a reg
ularity and perfection that has gained
him lots of money from sympathetic
persons, but which nt last led him to
jail, where to-ilny he languishes under
the nupervlslon of u "minion of the
law," who nervously watches Daniel
tuiimj ivtin;jiun u.llliuj
Evans In case ho should "tako a fit"
there.
Evans Is tho young man who has
been visiting hotels nnd churches,
where ho had (It 8 nnd fits and fits.
After ono fit he would hnve n collec
tion taken up for his benefit nnd then
he would sek another field and hnve
mother lit. He worked this novel
schonio In vnrlous places In New York
city and Brooklyn; in the former city
nt tho Fifth Avenue hotel. In tho lat
ter at the St. George hotel and at other
places. After each simulated lit Evans
would collect money to pay his fare to
Fresno, Cul., "where his poor old father
lived." He did this at the St. George
a fow weeks ago. Ho went to the Grace
Methodist Episcopal church, Seventh
avenue nnd St. John's place, and had a
lit and a collection In the middle of the
Sunday evening sen Ices.
Last Sunday night he went to the
First Reformed church, Seventh ave
nue and Carroll btreet, and had a fit
Where. Tho Rev. Dr. James M. Farrar,
however, thought that Evans was hav
ing fits for value received nnd that his
schemo was a fraudulent one to gain
money and sympathy. So after Evans
had called at the "Dutch Arnib," a club
connected with tho church, Dr. Farrar
informed Detectives Reynolds and
WeUer, who arrested young Evans.
Cnllfornlu Oranges.
California orange growers believe
that this coming season Is going to be
an unusunlly prosperous one for them.
The crop Is not only lit line condition,
but Is very much earlier than usual.
The navel oranges, grown In northern
California, were on the San Francisco
market as eurly as the second 'week in
November, and the southern California
crop will be remurkubly early. The
growera figure that thero will be no
competition with California oranges in
the east this year. The failure of the
Florida crop will glvo them practically
a clear field, they say. The California
crop is from one-third to one-half as
large again as It was Inst year, and If
the expectations of high prices are real
ized an orange grove will be a bonanza
this year.
Make Ouod llendlng.
A large nun bcr of unpublished let
ters written by Jean Armour, Dickons,
Scott, Bron, Thomas Moore, Beetho
ven. Haydn and Weber were recently
found among the papers of the late
George Thompton, a lawyer of Edin
burgh. They are being published by
the niasgcw Evening News.
Iluili .Money.
Robbie Say, pop, that typewriter oi
yours got a dandy valentine this year,
didn't she?
Bingo Do you know who tent it?
Robbie Well, if you'll give me a dol
lar, I'll keep quiet.
Nut au Karly Illrd.
That much celebrated bird, the lark,
Is quite a sluggard, as it does not aris
until loug after the chaffinches, lin
nets and a number of hedgerow birds
have been up and abou
GOOD EXCUSE AND IT WENT.
Night Clerk'a ICxplanatlon or Why Us
MlMttl Iliii "Rpell."
Thtn lhe lny c;lork telePuon.ed for the
boss to come down, Tho boss came,
marveled and stood watch until 7
o'clock In the morning. Then the
missing man came In, sheepish, but de
termined to know tho worst.
"How do I stand?" was his first re
mnrk. "Tell your utory beforo I decide."
sternly commanded tho boss.
Whereupon .the delinquent unfolded
this strange tale: "I went home at the
usual time this morning and got to bed.
I rather overslept, for it was 9 o'clock
In the evening when I awoke. It did
not take me long to discover that both
my wife and my trousers wore missing.
My wife I could account for, because
she had told me sho wns going to a mas
querade party at her sister's house,
which Ib out Cheektowaga way. But
what had becomo of my trousers? I.
couldn't think until I happened to re
member that I didn't know tho charac
ter my wife Intended to represent.
Evidently It was a male character and
that solitary pair of trousers was now
forming-part of her disguise. I swore
for an hour nt her thoughtlessness, but
that didn't bring back tho brceks.
"We have no very near neighbors,
and, anyway, I was ashamed to scream
for assistance. I thought of ringing
for a tall messenger boy and borrowing
his pants, but unfortunately there is
no call In our house. So I had to
worry nnd stew until daybreak, when
my wife and trousors came home. She
had won much ndmlrntlon In the char
acter of Teddy, the bootblack, but I
hnven't had time yet to tell her what
I think of her. I was so anxious to get
down here. Now," continued the night
clerk, "how do I sand7 If you firo me
I'm going to hoof It to Oklahoma and
get a divorce."
"Well, John," said tho boss, "I havo
been thinking hnrd things nbout you
all night, but your story Is too good not
to go. I think the best thing I can do.
considering your general faithfulness,
Is to raise your pny tho first ot the year,
so you can afford to own two pilrs of
trousers at a time."
BARITONE AND DONKEY.
,liuuliig Interruption or a Concert by a
Long-Kurcd VocnlUt.
From London Tlt-Blts: Mr. Clifford
Hnlle, son of the lato Sir Charjes Halle,
said to the writer: "I recollect a funny
thing thnt occurred In Port Elizabeth,
o,.ti, Aft-ii.-i M'liim t wns travollnir
l .wi.wi . ..., ..... -
through that country as a .baritone
singer. Tho town Is rather provincial,
and the poundmnstcr never considers
that he has any duties to perform. The
hall where I Enng was In a portion of
the village where donkeys, goats and
other domestic nnlmalB hold mostof the
available space. Tho night was warm
and the main entrance was loft opon to'
permit fresh air to enter. 1 had al
ready sung two or three numbers and
was announced to render n ballad well
known in that part of the world, en
titled 'Thou Art Passing Hence, My
Brother.' It is full of sympathy and
feeling, and nB tho audience seemed to
be alive to my work I did my very best.
The orchestra was reasonably good and
I had the audience pretty well under
control. The conclusion of the eonj;
contains the words, 'Brother, brother,'
and Just ns I reached them and my voice
wa3 dying away and everybody seemed
spellbound, a full-grown donkey stuck
his head In at the door and brayed, 'Yo-haw-w-w!
ye-haw-w-w!' seemlugly In
answer to my words. Tho audience
went into convulsions and tho applause
I anticipated was turned Into howls ot
mirth. We had to stop thero and con
clude the programme. The violinist
went all to pieces over tho Incident,
and walking up to me with his bow In
his hand, said: 'I say, Hallo, If you ex
pect to make a Buccess of this South Af
rican tour, you miiBt keep your relative?
away from the front doorl' "
An Old Colonial Illockhouie.
Among the attractions of the town
of Bourne, Mass., are two historic cel
lars. One was dug by the Plymouth
colony and the other by the Dujtch trad
ers. These cellars Ho side by side and
the btructures built over them were
filled with goods so necessary for tho
comfort of the early pilgrims as well
as the Dutch. The pilgrims needed
manufactured goods such as the Hol
landers had for sale and the Dutch re
quired productB such aa" the colony
could supply. Gov. Bradford, In his
diary, states that this block house was
built aB early as 1C27, only seven year3
after the landing of the Mayflower.
St, Louis Globe Democrat.
Charity. r
It may be charity for Rockefeller and
Carnegie to erect living monuments lu
the shape of universities and libraries,
but It Is not the highest type, for their
wealth is gotten by doubtful methods.
It Is unchristian for moneyed men to
6eize large pieces of property and profit
by the Industry of others without out
lay themselves. No man has a right
to get a monopoly on anything. Rev
T. W. Williams.
(Iris Carry Cane.
A New York society girl sprained her
ankle and was obliged to walk with a
cane. A lot of other girls thought it a
fad and now tho lovely creatures are
clumping around town with canes all
their owney owns. But, say, don't this
eort of business give you a sensation
ot nausea?
