Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190?, November 22, 1895, Image 7
e li sV V '; ft Urf r-i DEATH 01? ENGrBIEN. ONE OF THE BLACKEST BLOTS IN CAREER OP NAPOLEON. Tnketi from PrUon at Night and Shot by the Glare or Torch Ills Ilrnvo Hearing to tho Knit Ills I.nt Act an Kartti. I, HE SCENES OF that awful night 'defy description. Tho castlo of Vln cenncs was beset with guards when Anally, at about an hour before mid night, tho various members of tho court assembled. Their looks were dark and troubled as they wondered who tho mysteriouB culprit might be. None know but Hulin tho president, tho judge-advocate, and Savory the des tined executioner. In a neighboring room was tho duko, palo and exhausted by his long Journey, munching a slcnd.r meal, which ho sharod with his dog, and explaining to his Jailer his doleful thoughts at tho prospect of a long im prisonment. It would be ameliorated If only ho could gratify his passion for hunting, and surely they two, as prisoner and kcepor, might range tho forest In company. But at last he fell asleep from sheer fatigue. Tho Jailer; Harol, a picked man who had kept guard over Arena and his fellows (who, it will bo recalled, had been executed on unproved charges of conspiracy to assassinate Bonaparte), was a sometime fiery Jacobin. He could not well encourage tho expectations of his new prisoner, dreary as they were, for ho had that morning supervised the digging of a grave in the castle moat. At midnight tho duko was awakened and confronted with the Judge-advocate. Real was unaccountably absent, and tho Interrogatory so carefully pre pared by tho chief magistrate was not at hand. To tho rude questions form ulated by Hulln, with tho aid of a memorandum from Murat, the prisoner, In spite of repeated hints from the mem bers of the court-martial as to tho con sequences, would only reply that he had a pension from England, and had applied to her ministers for military service; that ho hoped to fight for his cause with troops raised in Germany from nmong the disaffected and the emigrants; that he had already fought against France. But he stoutly denied any relations with Dumouriez or Pichegru and all knowledge of the plot to assassinate the First Consul. Ho was then called to tho bar In tho dimly lighted sitting-room where the commission sat. To tho papers con taining questions and answers ho was ironically permitted to afflx a demand for an audience with the First Consul. "My name, my station, my mode of thought, and. tho horror of my situa tion," ho said, "inspire me with hope that he will not refuse my request." The Revolutionary tribunal followed its Instincts; its members, knowing well tho familiar statutes under which such bodies had acted since the days of tho Convention, but not having at hand tho words or forms of a verdict ob pro scribed by the pitiless laws concerning those who had borne arms against France, left In tho record a blank to be filled out later, and pronounced their judgement that tho "regular sentence" be executed at once. They were actual ly engaged In composing a petition for clemency to tho First Consul when Savary entered tho room and informed himself of what had been dono and what thoy were then doing. Snatching the pen from Hulln's hand, he ex claimed, "Tho rest is my affair," and left the room. It was now two In tho morning of tho 21st. "Follow me," said the taci turn Harel, "and summon all your courage." A few paces through tho moat, a turn of a corner, and tho flare of torches displayed a file of troops not far from an open grave. As the ad jutant began to read the sentence, the victim faltered for a moment and ex claimed, "Oh Cod! what have Idone?" But in an instant he regained the mas tery of hiraBelf. Calmly clipping a lock of his hair, and drawing a ring from his finger, he asked that thoy might be sent to the Princess Charlotte. A vol ley and in an instant he was dead. Little Martha Plujra Detective. Little Martha Flynn of Chicago, 7 ycarB old, Is probably the youngest de tective on record. Tho other day 8he saw n colored boy snatch a lady's pock ctbook. No policeman was in sight, but little Martha followed the boy and saw him mount a span of wooden ze bras at a merry-go-round. Then Bhe scampered to the nearest police station and excitedly told her story. An offi cer accompanied her to the merry-go round, where sho pointed out tho young thief, who had spent 10 cents of the $5 contained In the stolen pocketbook, and said he had intended to spend the en tire ?5 on tho zebras nnd thus break the record. Little Martha was given a bag of candy, and invited to call again when she had a hot tip. gome Strange VUltlng Cards. Calling In Corea must be a very diffi cult performance, If, as a London Jour nal has recently stated, the, ordinary visiting cards there are a foot square. The same journal goes on to say that the savages of Dahomey announce their visits to each other by a wooden board or the branch of a tree artistically carved. This Is sent on In advance, and tho visitor, on taking leave, pock ets his card, which probably Berve3 him for many years. The natives of Suma tra also have a visiting card, consisting of a piece of wood about a foot long and decorated with n bundle of straw and a knlfo. 5lli?0 AS .SOMETIMES WRITTEN. Queer rhrAr of XatWn and Foreign ltooktmtkrm. All editors nro astonished r.v the poor English written by many of tholt would-be contributors, whose spelling nnd penmanship Indlcato that they hnvo had a fair degree of education. Usunlly this stupidity in tho use and choice of words seems to arise from a lack in the senBo of humor. Even n university course, as every ono knows, cannot mako up for this essential quality, which is absolutely necessary to literary success. A writer need not bo humorous; but ho must have n quick perception of what is ridiculous, In order to avoid making himself so. Thus, only a person deficient In this vital respect could have written of her heroine that sho had "deep, dark hair"; that sho had "that rareness of expression which baffles the most learned to understand"; thnt "Maud had grown weary of setting in the porch"; that her lips were "wreathed in a smile that strangely reminded mo of an angel"; and that "her strange nature enchained my fancy." Also, only such a one, or a person phenom enally Ignorant, could concludo a stan za of poetry, as did one young woman, with the line: May gladness and Joy bo your doom. This Individual may have been re lated to him who chanted: Oh, put me in no sepulchre, Or dim vnult, sad and gloomy; But let my narrow bed be lain Within some meadow roomy." When oven native Americans make such havoc with their language, it is not singular that foreigners have se vero struggles to master it. Transla tors, who consider themselves compe tent ,to express in Englsh the litera ture of their own lands, sometimes provo themselves amusingly unequal to the task. This was tho case with the courageous gentleman who sent to nn editor a story containing the fol lowing passages: "He said with an air of most de spising disdain." "His whole attire gave him a most distinguished and gentlemanly appear ance." "'Out' burned Marguerite, terri fied." "To solicit in the name of tho Ger mnlno Republic, tho annexation of his native city to France." "He wore velvet trouser, all spotted with ink." "He was beginning to resume him self." "It seemed as though his heart would bound from Its envelope." "Sho gave him by look a most ele gant thank." "Tho rain, pushed by tho wind, heat ed his handsome face." PRAISE OF THE MOUTH. Tho rirayttno' ItlianvoriUt Kuloglzes Thin Useful Member. Some one has fallen In lovo with a mouth, and his mouth Is full of praise and song. To him some mouths look like peaches and cream, some like a holo chopped in a brick wall to admit a door or window. The mouth is n hot bed of toothaches and a baby's crown ing glory. It is patriotism's fountain head, and the tool chest for pie. With out it the politician would bo a wan derer on tho face of tho earth, and the cornetiat would go down to an unhonored grave. It Is tho grocer's friend, tho orator's pride and tho dentist's hope. Rosa lind wished all her friends were ono mouth so that she might kiss it. Much more than a mdstacho depends upon tho mouth. Now Orleans "Pica yune. KegnrdlcR of Kxpcnse. This Is a story about a man over In Alexandria, who has a great deal of money, to which ho is deeply attached. He Is, in fact, so attached to it that he hates to be separated from a dollar of it. He has a silk hat, too, a well-preserved silk hat of great age and undoubted re spectability. Ho Is fond of his hat, and he'd like to wear It every day, but slik hats, you know, are expensive, so he has been wearing his for theso many years just on Sunday. On week days he wears a shocking bad hat, which does not Concern this story. The last time the storks visited tho Alexandria man's houso they were generous. They brought twins, a boy and a girl. The father was sitting in tho parlor when somebody entered to bring the news. "Weli, you're, a father now," said tho somebody. "Boy or girl?" asked the Alexandria man. BoUj; twins." "Gieat Scott!" cried the father, springing to his feet. "Give me my silk hat. I might aB well wear It every day now. What's the use trying to be economical, anyway? What I an Kdltlon? London Graphic: What Is an edi- tlon? Does it consist of 1,000 volumes or of BOO or fifty or five? The word is not a technical term llko "gross" or "dozen" or any like expression bear ing a fixed numerical significance, and there la, of course, no reason why It should not mean anything from the lowest to tho highest of these numbers, according to the tasto and fancy or It may be tho tactics, of the particular publisher who employs It. Only now that that enterprising person shows himself bo anxious to keep tho public regularly Informed as to the sales of the works Issuing from his house it might be as well to come to some understanding on this point. We know what Is meant when we read that Miss Ahena Daring's new novel is "In Its twentieth thousand," where as that statement that It is "In its forty-fifth edition" conveys to us sim ply no Information at all. Good celery salad is contingent upon the quality of the oil used. Avoid the kind used to lubricate machinery. THE VALUE OF INITIALS. Mncli Utod In Our Language l'utzle the I'roncliinru. Tho lines beginning: '"Twas whispered In heaven, 'twas muttered In hell, And echo cnught faintly tho sound nt It fell," attributed to Lord Byron, but really by Cntherlne Fanshnwc, have tho letter "h" for their mot d'enigme, says the Spectator. Hawthorne gavo ono of hla best-known works the namo of "Tho Scarlet Letter," and one of Charles Lamb's ineffectual dramas Is called "Mr. H.," Its not very entertaining plot turning on tho concealment of the hero's real name, which in tho end Is found to bo Hogsflcsh. Headers of Dlokeus will romomber "Mr. F.'h aunt," whllo the riots at Convent Garden thea ter, familiarly known n tho "0. P." riots, live chiefly In the pages of "Re jected Addresses." When members of tho Bamo profession speak of Individ uals by professionally abbreviated titles, it is generally a slgii that the speakers are "tnlklng shop." Army men, for Instance, strew their conver sation and documents with so many vowels and consonants that thoy seem to be making uso of a Bpeclnl cipher, unlntelllglblo to outsiders. Thcro Is nothing derogrtory to a member of par liament or n queen's counsel In being spoken of as "M. P." or "Q. C"; It is a familiar abbreviation In which all tho mombers of parliament nnd all tho queen's counselors Bhnro, and written documents nro naturally so addressed, but some of tho abbreviations used In conversation have a decidedly collo quial ring about them. As a nation we seem to havo a faculty for casting off superfluous words and phrnECS and for making use of contractions, and our titles of honor prosent a perennial source of difficulty to tho foreigner. It must puzzle a Frenchman unacquainted with our social distinctions to discover tho meaning of "Bart." or "Kt." or "Esq.," or to unravel the lntrlcaclea of "K. C. S. I." or "M. F. H.," though on tho part of a -Briton such ignorance would mean ignorance of tho usages of society. On the other hand, initials may bo used in n derogatory sense. If wo hear in private conservation a man re ferred to as "old J.' we may bo sure it is hardly Intended as a compliment; while the bourgcoiso who calls her husband "Mr. J." at once convoys to her hearers a sense of easy nnd vulgar familiarity. In our complex civiliza tion symbols have come to bo looked upon as Integral portions of the system of decorations and awards. A Yi'omnn RIiIor n Urn It o Itritnt. On the arrival of a Burlington freight train at Huntly, Mont., recent ly, tho trainmen discovered a young and handsomo woman and a boy riding upon ono of the brake beams in ap proved tramp fashion. Tho woman gavo her name as Mrs. Peterson, and said her husband, a barber, had de serted her and a baby several months ago at Billings. Besides herself and baby, sho had a mother and a little brother to support. A few days ago sho spent her last money to purchase tickets for her mother and baby to Sheridan, Wy where they havo Trlends, and ono night sho took tho lit tle brother climbed on the brake beam of an outgoing freight, and had been riding nearly all night wheu discov ered. Tho trainmen gavo them a place in tho caboose tho remainder of their lourney. Stilt Nearer. Relationships are very confusing to the juvenile mind, but there are not many children so delightfully nt sea as tho small girl of tho following story: Sho appeared with a small brother at a public school, and gavo In their names as "Ralph and Edith Johnson." "Brother and sister, I suppose," said tho teacher. "Oh no, ma'am," said the little girl, "we'ro twins!" NEWSY TRIFLES. Tho British isles compriso 1,000 separate islands and islets, without counting the Juttlngs rocks or isolated pinnacles. It has been estimated that electric railways have already displaced in the United States no less than 275,000 horses. The pear crop In Georgia this year Is the largest on record. It la estimated by those in a position to know and to Judge correctly that it will exceed 300, 000 barrels. Tho "life tree" of Jamaica Is harder to kill than any other species of woody growth known to aborlculturlsts. It continues to grow and thrives for months after being uprooted and ex posed to tho sun. It is a singular coincidence that In South Dakota a week or so ago It was necessary to close the schoolB on ac count of tho intense heat, and two days later thoy were closed again because of the excessive cold. In the country districts, both In Eng land and Germany, there 13 an idea that if the bees swarm upon a rotten tree there will be a death In the family own ing or living on tho property before tho expiration of a twelve-month. In the early days of Christianity many styles of dating were in vogue, and eras were established with the an nunciation, the birth, tho transfigura tion, the ascension and other ovents in the history of Christ as starting points. In many nations it has been believed that an individual bitten by a dog may cure himself by placing three of tho dog's hair3 on tho wound. Tho idea is expressed in tho English proverb: "Tho hair of the dog is good for tho bite." As a division of timo, the week has been used in the east from immemorial ages. It does not seem to bo a natural division of time, though several peri ods of animal economy, such ob the in cubation of eggs, correspond with weeks. ' AfWl&UL PIlliNCESS. SHE COPIED THE MANNERS OF ,' THE MUSIC HALLS. A Queer Mixture of Innate High Itrreil Ing and Acquired Low Tauten Walk-' Ior on the Kdge of Moral Quae tnlrci. N the Princess Met ternlch was an'ln cxpllcablc mlxtunt or Innnto high breeding nnd ac quired tastes of lower d o g r e o. When Bhe appeared In society, at her very first entrnnco there could bo no mistake; from head to foot sho wns tho high born lady tho "grando dnmo." Yet she had an extraordinary Inclina tion for walking on tho odgea of mornl quagmires, and peeping Into thcm.wlth a proud conviction that her foot could never slip. There nro stories of her im prudent adventures; but sho escaped unscathed, nnd had no other motive in soeking them than curiosity foolish, morbid curiosity as to people and mat tors which should never have boon oven mentioned in her presenco. Sho acted with n degree of rashness and folly which would have ruined most women, jui no one over really attacked her reputation; all allowed thnt, according to the expression of n lndy of tho court, "she had nover crossed tho Rubicon." Notwithstanding all her follies, the Princess Metternlch was fnr from being silly; on tho contrary, sho hnd consider able wit and great sharpness of ropar tee. As she did not care for anything sho said, her retorts were often very clever and amusing, but too frco to bo easily repeated. Sho delighted in sing ing songs from music-halls and Interior theaters. Haughty as sho was. sho In vited to her dinner-table a Dinger of equivocal celebrity at that time, whom no ono else would havo dnrcd to receive; and even took lessons from her, so as to sing her songs with duly pointed em phasis, writes Anna L. Blcknell In the Century. Tho mischief done by the exnmpl j of the Princess Metternlch Is indescrib able. Sho throw down tho barrier which hitharto had separated respect able women from thoso who were not, nnd led tho way to a liberty of speech and liberty of action which were un known before. She wns much attached to her husband, and, in oesontlnls, was a good wife; others less favorably sit uated may not hnvo escaped as Bhe did from the natural consequences of look ing too closely over tho frontier of the Dcbatablo Land. It Ib not unlikely that the excesslvo pride of the Princess Metternlch may havo led her to imag ine that in Paris she might do anything wunout compromising her dignity. For instance, sho wns Intimate with a lady who, ulthough received everywhere in Parisian Boclety, did not cccm to bo sufficiently her equal In rnnk to be come her friend. To a remark on the subject oho carelessly answered: "Oh, it is all very well here; of course I could not see her In Vienna." Sho is reported to have made a more Impertinent speech whllo on n visit nt Compelgnc, Tho short, loopod-up skirts woro Just beginning to be worn; the Empress had not yet ndopted them, nnd tho Princess Metternlch had boon urging her to do so, against tho opinion of her ladles. When tho EmprcsB left tho room one of the ladies in waiting said to the Princess, "Would you give tho Eamo ndvico to your Empress?" "Oh, no," replied tho princess; "but tho caBO Is qulto different the Em press Elizabeth is a real Empress." I have no positive information as to the absolute reliability of this report; but It In not unliko tho style of tho Princess Metternlch, and was current ly repeated. On another occasion at Compolgne. in the preeonce of the EraproBs, on a rainy day which had brought eoiiio dullness Into tho circle, the Princess Metternlch, by way of diversion, sud denly Beized one of the ladles In wait ing, tripped her up In school-boy fash Ion, and lnld her fiat on her back, pros trate on the floor. This was told to me by an eye-witness of tho scene, which shocked every one present, and the more so because tho victim chosen (the Comtcsse de M ) was particularly ladylike, quiet, and unoffending. ir NEW Y. M. C. A. BUILDING AT EVANSTON. tA WmkmM Wm iff lw .THe offer f William Deenng to give $1D,000 towards a new Y M C A nnn hnS ?van8ton' pnn-'u" ?60,000 was raised by members of the assockt ion, has aroused much enthusiasm in that city. A canvassing commltteo will bo appointed at once and tho work of raising tho money bo begun. The asso ciation already has a loL This was purchased two years ago and nut Into the hands or John R Llndgren as trustee. It cost ?22.500 ami Is on Orrlng on avenue near Davia street. On tho building commltteo nro William Boyd, John U Llndgren, John M. Ewen, and C. B. Cougdon. The plans for tho proposed building show a fron age of 132 feet on Orrington avenuo and a depth or 210 fV nh0,bu,fld,ngwm P''ese1 "rick with terra-cotta trimmings and tiled i oof. On the first floor or the front section will be stores. On the second floor will be tho association rooms. Including an audience-room seating 300. On tho third floor will bo additional association rooms, studios, and apartments for young men and a gymnasium and nntatorium. In tho rear section theio will be an auditorium. 74x97 feet, seating 1.300. Tho income from Btores nnd apart mH J8 ?xpect,e( l0 Pay ,the. Patlug expenses of the building, while member ships and special subscriptions will defray association oxponses. FAT MEN HAVE THE BEST OF IT Itmult or nn Interesting Wager ! txterii n Lean nnd n Fat Mn They mndo a bet. Tho fat man thought ho had all tho worst of life, whllo tho thin man hold that flesh was a blessing. "Just In tho ordinary affairs of every day life," began tho fat man. "That's what I'm referring to," put In tho thin man. "Go homo with mo this afternoon nnd I'll demonstrate it for BUpper nnd theater tlckotB." So thoy started together from ono of the big oinco buildings, nnd, na they were leaving tho office ti man in a big hurry entered. - Tho thin man wib nblo to dodge him, but ho fouled tho fnt man, of course, "Thcro you are," said tho fat man as soon as ho had recovered his breath. "Every blind fool runs into mo." "That's nothiug," returned tho thin man, as ho stepped on tho elevator and was promptly crowded into tho corner by a 250-pound woman. " Wo're oven," ho said, an they renched tho street. "Not quite," returned tho fat man, as ho wiped tho perspiration from his face. "You'ro comparatively cool, whllo I'm melting away." "But you'll havo a chanco to bo com fortablo when wo rench tho car." "No morn than you." "Walt ami eee." Thoy each took ono of tho tioata dc signed to hold two pcrnons less than medium size and for a block were on equal terms. Then a big man got on. There were four or five otlver peopla Whom ho could sit beside, but he singled out this thin man and soon hnd him wedged In so tightly that he could hardly breathe. A few blocks further on tho scat ahead was vacated and tho thin man moved to it. Two minutes Inter a woman with puffed alcoves got on and ngain ho wna singled out. Sho gavo him such an indignant look be cause he could not mako all tho room necessary for the sloovcs that ho got up and moved to tho Bldo of a man of mo di inn Klr.e. Tho man got oft at tho next corner and a fnt woman took his place. Again tho thin mnn wan crowded against tho side of tho scat and his face showed tho agony ho wns in. "But that was an exceptional case," protested tho fat man when tho two hnd left the car. "On tho contrary, It's a regular thing," replied tho thin man, "You eon see it any day l j-eii watch out. The thin man nover gets a seat to himself. Hg'b nlwnys selected as n scat compan ion and crowded and crushed until his bones ache. I'll havo that supper with you to-morrow night." And ho did. Ex. lie Willi Itoiuliideil. Some men who nro oxtremely tena cious of tholr opinions will acknowledge themselves In tho wrong' frankly enough when they aro convinced of tho fact. In illustration of this, n justice of tho United States Supremo court lately told a story. There was once, he said, a young Irishman, an officer in tho Lancers, who had served with Wellington in tho Pen insula war. After his return ho was asked nt a dinner party by his neigh bor, a burly young EngllBh officer, if ho would havo somo of the nnchovies. "Indeed, I will, " said tho Lancer. "I havo oeen them growing In Spain." "Growing!" exclaimed tho English man, in incredulous Burprlse. "Yes, growing," rejoined tho Irish man Bharply. "I've seen wholo bushes of them, and picked them, too." "You are crazy, mnn," said tho En glishman. "Anchovies don't grow on bushes; they swim In tho sea." Tho Irishman insisted that they grew on bushes. Tho controversy waxed hot, and the Ho was exchanged. In thoso days n duel was tho inevitable result of such a scene, Next morning tho prin cipals wero placed faco to fnco on the Held, with pistols in their hands. The Irishman's second whispered to him: "Shoot low, my boy, and seo him cut up capers." At that word tho Irishman called out, "Hold! I am wrong! It wns enpera. not anchovies, thut I saw growing In Spain!" Blighted. It In well, perhaps, to become lued to disappointment In early life. "Have you named your baby brother yet, Adams?" "Yeth thir. They've called him Gcorgy, after Undo Georgo, and I don't llko it a bit. I wanted him named Adamth after me," Harper's Young People. ONLY HALF YANKEES. MIchtcMiiter, Aorordlng to the Dt.xTtj Aro Not the True Illuod. "I wao on tho loBlng Bldo during tho late war," said Roger Blnckenahlp te a party of veta who wero fighting their battles o'er again in tho corridors of the Southern. "I belonged to a Mississippi regiment, and tho Jnst other's son of Ub expected to return lion with at least a doxenynnkco ccalps dangling nt his belt. Our oratortf had led us to believe that all wo had to do was to show our selves and the ynnku would break for tall timber. Our colonel was a planter and n small fry politician who hnd never seen n real live ynnkoo, and ho fully expected to plant our regimental colors on the dome of tho national cap Uol before wo hnd been out a month. We were eager for the fray. "Just before Grant Invested Donel eon wo encountered a scouting party of Mlchlgnnders. They numbered only about forty, and tho colonol took tho company to which I bolonged and at tempted to head them off. Thoy made a hnsty scamper for a brush field that watt surrounded by a rail fence, and we broke rankn and lit out after them In go-ns-you-ploaso order. Every man of s wnntod a yankeo nnd realized that thcro wero not enough to go round. JuBt as wo mounted tho fenco wo re ceived a volloy that laid a score of men out. Before wo could recover from our surprise thoBo Michlganders wero over the fence and at work on ub with their sabers and six-shooters. We concluded that we had mndo a mfotako that wo didn't want any yankcos nftor nil. "The colonel was tho first man back to enmp. Half his left ear hud been shot away and ho had an ugly Baber gash In his shoulder. I helped the sur geon fix him up, and after we had mado him comfortable ho turnod to the major, who 1b also ah editor, and Bald sol emnly; 'Yor'vo boon n-tollln' us In yer darned old pnpor that tho yankees wouldn't fight. Dodrnt yer meaaley hide, what do yer call flghtln'7' Tho major replied that thoac men were west erners, only half yankceo. 'Only half ynnkcest' unortod tho colonol. "Damme if I ain't goln homo! If thorn's only half yankees, I'll Just bo dad burned If I'm goin't' tncklo any wholo ones.' "-Ex. DiTcllotlnn of the Jfow Woman. 'Laura," said tho husband of the emancipated womnn Btornly, "What Ib it, dear?" asked tho latter in n conciliatory manner, for she saw that trouble waif coming. "Laura, In tho last throe wooks I havo given you three letters . to mall, ad dreBbcd to dear papn. What have you done with them?" "Mnilod thorn, of course," replied tho wretched woman, in a determination' to bluff It out If possible "Laura," the husband went on, "that Is not true. 1 received a letter from pupa to-day In which ho sayB ho has not heard from mo In a month, and anx iously asking if anything la tho matter. Now you havo got thoBo letters eome whero about your clothes ir you haven't lost them. I know just as well an I know that I am stnndlng here that you never moiled thoso letters. Now go through your pockets and see If you haven't got them." Tho emancipated woman commenced to look through her pockets and soon turned out tho missing letters, which she laid on tho table, with tho remark, "Well, I could have sworn that I put those lettero In tho lottor-box at tho corner," Tho man sneered. "You can't trust a woman to do anything," ho retorted. "Hereafter I'll mail my own letters and I won't occupy your very valubje timo with Buch errandB. Before you go I want ?10 for household expenses. The emancipated woman meekly laid tho money down on the table and went away with tho remark that she would leave the ofllco early In tho afternoon and come after her husband to take him to tho matinee. Harper's Bazar. CASTRONOMICAL HINTS. In tho early autumn the bon vivanta' fancies lightly turn to thoughts of game. A Welsh rabbit will assist one in keeping awako who haB to sit up with a sick friend. The abundance of peaches this year would be more appreciated Jf they wero of a better, firmer quality, Good oranges are scarc nnd exjnm slve, and lemons, as to price, may be said to have gone up In a balloon. The Chinese havo more ways of cooking a chicken than we, with all our culinary philosophy, ever dreamed of. There is a popular Impression that a Trench cook could mako a delicious boup out of an ordlnury billiard ball. Those to whom pears are a fatal fruit $cem to increase. Therefore, look not upon the Burtlett when It la granite. Young turkey is seasonable and pala table, although farmers Bay they would bo all the better "hardened up" with cooler weather. Apple pies at a Catskill hotel are de scribed as having a "hardwood finish," that Ib to say, a crust apparently made of the real Georgia pine. Immersed In hot water before bitten, the race track restaurant sandwich les sens the necessity of going direct from that place to tho nearest dentist. Cabbage nnd cauliflower are the two vegetables that can never bo cooked at home without the world knowing what you are going to have for dinner. Venison stewed with wjne in a chaf ing dleh will soon bo In order, taking the place of monotonous Welsh rabbit, which revived the chafing dish two winters ago, The cook who servos woodcock with out their heads should straightway bo given opportunity to seek another situ ation. Tho woodcock's braJn Is an epi curean morsel. 4 wrtwiwp vm0