Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190? | View Entire Issue (Sept. 27, 1895)
People never toll tho exact truth.
Modesty will earn a man moro than
As a rule, when aBtory is funny, It
1b not true.
A picnic Is not a success unless there
Is plo to throw awny.
Most people Just drag along until It
is time for them to die.
A laugh is an awfully good bluff to
tnnko when troubles appear.
A man never knows what la coming
until it gets right on to him.
There Is one thing to the credit of old
tnalds; they accumulate no-kin.
When a man stops smoking, and be
gins again, ho feels mighty sheepish.
A man with a future isn't as Interest
ing to people as a woman with a past
If you nBk a boy how his boll is, ho
will take on" the bandage and show you.
Some peoplo imagine that as soon as
they get married, they must kiss In
If a man expects to amount to any
thing, ho must accomplish It in spite of
Marrying men are beginning to re
mark that women have too much Idle
time tra their hands.
There tiro lots of men who are pretty
In society, but "who aro as absolutely
ufcIceb ns dried 'currants.
Js'o -woman should give -way to grief;
Jot her "keep her hair frizzed, and every
thing may come around all right.
Nearly all the women recite these
'flays. They will simply have to quit
It; tho men are shy onough as It Is.
'Much as people 'llko to hear secrets
they have tho greatest admiration for
the friends who have never told them
"Wo have noticed 'that when a man is
approached about advertising, he says
he will "think about It," or "see you
The people should remember when
eating, that Death keeps his white
horso ready with tho harness on in this
A. now locomotive- near Wlshlngton
raado thirty-five miles in thlrty-threo
minutes, and for a part of the dlstanco
ran at the rate of 102 miles an hour.
Tho mop on the north wall of the
Broad street station of the Pennsyl
vania railroad In Philadelphia is fifteen
feet wide and 126 feet long, and Is said
to bo the largest map In the world.
Tho incomes from the London dally
papers are thus put down: Dally Tele
graph, 130,000; Times, 120,000; Stan
dard, 70,000; Morning Post, 45,000;
Daily Chronicle, 40,000, and Daily
It is estimated that 30 per cent of
the iron manufactured by Tennessee
f is sold outside of tho southern states. It
fa cntrt in ta (ha fnvnrHrt Irrtn wlftl nlnn
MM,M fcvr M" vww.w .w. . i'.-,
ow and stove makers In the east and
north. ; '-'" '" .--
Tho total wheat crop, of Now Zea
land for this year is 3,613,000 bushels,
or 1,000,000 less than for tho previous
year. It is estimated that tho colony
will have to import 500,000 bushels to
supply if own requirements.
Of the four nationalities making up
tho population of Great Britain and Ire
land, the Scotch aro tho heaviest men,
the average weight being: Scotch, 175.3
pounds; Welsh, 168.3 pounds; English,
155 pounds; Irish, 154.1 pounds.
Working for tho good of othcors indi
rectly brings alout our own good.
There Is no truo greatness except tho
greatness of usefulness.
The despised milkweed can bo used to
advantage. Us seed yields a t no oil.
A r erfoct Jain that nmdo of plums.
Bring3 comfort and .improvement and
itends to personal enjoyment when
rightly used. Tho many, who llvo bet
ter than otharsand enjoy lifo more, with
iless expenditure, by moro promptly
adapting tho world's best products to
tho needs of rphysicalibeing, will attest
the value to thealth af .the pure liquid
laxativo principles embraced in the
remedy, Syrup of Figs.
Ita excellence is duo to its presenting
in tho form 'inoat acceptable and pleas
ant to tho taste, -tho refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of a jwrfect lax
ativo ; effectually cleansing the system,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
ana permanently curing constipation.
It h.-ji given satisfaction to millions and
met with tho approval of the medical
profession, becau-e it nets on the Kid
nevs, Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free from
evorv 1 vbjeetinnablo substance.
Pvrup of Ficra infor sale by all dru
cist's in 50c and $1 bottles, but it is man
ufactured by tho California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name is printed on -very
package, also the name, Syrup of Fig",
and lieing well informed, you will not
accept any substitute if oflered.
PROFITABLE DAIRY WORK
Can only ho accomplished with tho Tory best
of toon ami . , m appliance.
With a Davis jtfl Cream Sepa.
rator ou tho &$$ T rt taTax 5'0U aro
sure of moro jli5,l and hotter
liuttr,vli"' $$& tho Mdmmed
wllk U a j,- $8$Z uab: f e d-
ranncMirtll SZl wake no rats-
take to get a vfii jft, "
Illustrated J&S$&$ a'a!oguo
inal cl v kkc -- Agent wanted
Li)AVI3 & RAN5IN 15LDG. & BIFU. UU.
Car. Banish & Deirbcrn Cts. Chlc8.
THE CAGE MAKER.
N the town of the
nnclcnt kingdom of
Casttlo thero lived,
In former ages, n
youth called Bar
tolo, who tried to
eke out a living by
making cages for
birds, and taking
them around to soil
at the neighboring
villages. But his
trado was a poor one, and he judged
himself In luck If ho sold one cago In
tho day, and, as may bo supposed, ho
knew what sorrow and privation were.
One day as he was proceeding to a
village ho heard the sounds of revelry,
the buzz of many people, and the
strains of a band of music. This merry-making
was a procession of chil
dren dressed In white, carrying In their
midst a beautiful child crowned with
roses, In a chariot covered with white
satin, and ornamented with acacia and
This procession was In honor of
Maya, tho personification of spring, and
took place to announce tho entry of
spring. In front of tho little chariot
some children danced and held in their
hands tin platters, for contributions,
and, as mny bo Imagined, all, or nearly
all, tho spectators drowned their coins
Bartollo moved away In a despond
ing mood, saying to himself as ho
walked on: "13 this tho justlco of tho
world? There they are, flinging their
money into these platters Just because
these children como In procession to
announco to them that it is tho month
of May, as though they could not know
It by looking at tho almanac. They
barter and grind me down to tho low
est prlco for my cages, even when I
chance to sell ono!"
Full of these bitter thoughts, he
walked on sadly, for the voices of two
Importunate enemies were making
.hemselves heard within him these
wero hungor and thirst; the ono clam
ored for food and tho other for drink.
Bartolo had nothing in his wallet but
his clasp knife, and had had naught
for his breakfast but hopes, and these
made him sharp and active.
Ho had reached a plantation, when
ho perceived a well-dressed individual
coming toward him. Pressed by hun
ger, Bartolo, taking his cap off ro
spectfully, approached and said: "Ex
cuse me, sir, but could you kindly glvo
me a trifle? I promise I will return It
as soon as I earn some money."
"Dsn't you think that It Is a shame
ful thing for a man like you, young and
with a good, healthy appearance, to be
1 1U III
"""l t? -7 I
A BREAKFAST FIT FOR A KING,
demanding charity of peoplo? Does it
not striko you that you have a duty to
earn your living by working at your
"Yes, sir, certainly, but ray trade
does not fulfill its own duty. Most
people llko to seo tho birds flying about
freo rather than In cages, and there
fore, day by day, I find myself poorer
At first tho stranger doubted what
ho heard, but the blrd-cago maker gave
him so detailed an account of his work
and the small profits ho derived that he
became Interested and sympathized
with his Ill-fortune. Bartolo was a
man who always knew how to excite
great Interest In himself.
"Come, come," the stranger said,
smiling, "I will do something for you.
As I cannot find customers for your
cages, I will afford you a powerful
means by which you shall never moro
bo in want."
Ho then blew a whistle, and Bartolo
saw flying before him a bird blue as
tho sky, which came and perchod on
one of his cages.
"Seo here," added the stranger,
"what wllhcompensate for all your past
misery. From this day forward you
have only to formulate a wish and say
slowly and distinctly: 'Bluest of bluo
birds, do your duty! and your wish will
be granted to you."
"By my faith!" cried tho blrd-cago
maker, "but I will try It at once. For
the last twenty years I have wished to
kill hunger: 'Bluest of blue birds, do
Scarcely wero the words out of his
mouth than he saw suddenly spread be
foro him on the grass a breakfast fit for
a prince, laid on a service of exquisite
silver and glass and tho whitest of
cloths. Bartolo, astonished, flung him
self on his knees before his benefactor
to thank him, but he raised him up,
"I am tho good genius of the honest
worklngmen of Castile, Sit down and
eat without fear. Take advantage of
your lucky star," and then suddenly
Bartolo reverently bent down and
kissed the spot on which be had stood,
unable to find adequate expression of
his gratitude. He then sat down and
ate his breakfast.
After bis meal, Bartolo judged tbat
WMltJ W Mi
a mnn who had feasted in such an ele
gant manner ought to hnvo better cloth
ing than his well-worn suit; and, lift
ing his staff, he cried to the bird:
"Bluest of blue birds, do your duty!"
In nn instant his old suit becamo trans
formed into ono of richest velvet, em
broidered in gold and sliver, and his
rough staff into a splendid horso fully
caparisoned, and having around hla
neck a collar of silver bells.
Moro astonished thnn over, Bartolo
suspended to the saddlo tho cago with
tho bluo bird, leaped on tho horso and
went his way as proud of his drcsa ns n
donkey of its ears.
Setting spurs to his horse, he Boon
reached tho gates of a splendid castle.
Some feast was taking place within.
Tho guests were nil seated under a
shndy bower, deploring thnt they had
been disappointed of tho minstrels who
wero to have played.
Bartolo, on learning this, advanced to
tho bower, and, after elegantly salut
ing the lord and lndy of the castle,
In a most refined way said:
"If It be right for a simple knight to
offer his services In such a distin
guished compnny of rank and beauty, I
think I could promlso to provide what
you are requiring."
"Oh, do! at once, please!" cried all tho
ladles, who were longing for a danco.
"Bluest of blue birds, do your duty!"
Suddenly, In tho distance, was heard
tho noise of many feet, and a troop of
musicians with their instruments ap
peared, to the great delight of tho com
pany. Tho lord of the castle, who knew how
all this had been done through tho
ngeney of the bird, and being himself
of an inordinately avaricious nature,
thought he might do a lino stroke of
business wero ho to purchnse tho bird.
Hence, calling his unknown guest
away to his study, ho proposed to him
to purchase the bird for what prlco ho
"You would never give me my price,"
"For it I would give my castle, with
Its nine forests," said tho lord of the
"It ls not enough!"
"Very well, I will add my olive plan
tations and vineyards."
"That is still insufficient." cried Bar
tolo. "I will add the orchards, gardens andl
"I want something elso!"
"What! still more? Why, man, you
must want Paradise itself!"
"Not so; I want what you can give
mo this xery moment. I want your
daughter with whom I danced just now!
Let her be my bride."
"What! my daughter?" cried tho old
miser, in an ecstacy of Joy; "by my
faith, we shall soon conclude tho bar
gain. Why did you not say bo before?"
Ho went to seel; tho girl, and told
her of the engagement he had entered
Into. But his daughter, In utter amaze
ment, cried out:
"But what If he Is a wicked elf, and
all ho does be witchcraft?"
"You have an amulet of coral hang
ing from your neck; It ls an antidote
against all witchery."
"And what if he be Satan himself?"
"I will give you a piece of blessed
candle, and he will have no power
over you' replied tho unrelenting
Taking her hand, he led her to the
stranger, who was already on his horso,
and assisted her to mount behind her
future husband. Taking the cago with
tho bluest of the birds, he watched
the retreating forms of the pair as tho
horso carried them swifter than the
wind, and when out of sight, ho pro
ceeded to join his guests. Tho com
pany were all gathered in knots dis
cussing the extraordinary powers of tho
bird, and all the events which had
"Peace! peace!" cried tho lord of tho
castle, as he entered; "I will perform
more marvelous things than ever ho
did. I have given him my daughter to
wed in exchange for the bird, and this
bluo bird will render me more wealthy
than the King of Aragon. Approach,
and seo tho wonders I will work with
He took the cage, and lifting It up to
look at the bird, was astonished to And
that It was not a blue bird at all, but a
largo gray bird, which turned to stare
at him In an insolent manner, gave a
fierce pock at the door of the cage with
Its beak, Hung it open and flew out of
tho window, uttering a terrible screech.
Tho lord of the castle stood with opon
mouth, not knowing what to do or say.
Ills guests broke out In peals of laugh
ter at his discomfiture and the well-deserved
punishment for his unseemly
avarice of exchanging his beautiful
daughter for a worfhloss bird.
Meanwhile, Bartolo was galloping on
with hla bride to the nearest town to bo
married, and when he arrived at tho
first hostelry ho wished to dismount and
engage tho most splendid suite of
apartments for his Intended bride, but
ho found himself utterly penniless.
He had not calculated that In parting
with the bird he had parted with his
luck, and therefore, as soon ns ho dis
mounted the horse disappeared, and
his elegant dress became changed for
tho shabby one he had worn beforo ho
met the kind individual who had
wished to befriend him. When tho
beautiful daughter of the lord of tho
castle beheld the transformation which
had taken place, she ran back to her
father as fast as she could, fright load
ing wings to her feet.
Bartolo had to return to bis old life
of making cages and to his miserable
"A Free ni Water."
Stealing ten cents worth of drinking
water from tho hydrant of tho United
Utrecht Water Supply Company ls the
complaint on which Thomas Feeny wag
arrested recently In Fort Hamlltou,
Fruit of Tlirlr Wirk C'oinpnrrd
Colonel 1'obert O. Ingersoll gave Ut
terance to n few ttiiklng educational
truths in a recent address delivered be
fere tho surviving soldiers of his regl
went at Klrnwood, 111. Ho said:
"We spend moro for schools per head
than any nation in tho world. Urent
It.'liain spends Jl.SOper head on tho
common schools; Franco spends 80
cents; Auhtrin. 30 cents; Ucrinuny, fto
cents; Ituly, Uft eolith, and tho United
states over S:'. iiO. I tell yon tho school
house is the fortress of liberty. Kvcry
school house is an nrsenol, filled with
weapons utul ammunition to destroy
tho monsters of ignorance and fear,
As 1 have said ten thousand times, tho
school house is my cathedral. Tho
teacher is my preacher. Elgbtysoven
per cent of nil the people of thu 1'nltcd
States over ten years of ago inn read
and write. Thero is no parallel for
that In tho history of tho wide world.
Over 42,000,000 of educated citlxens, to
whom arc open all tho treasures of lit
erature. Forty-two millions of people,
able to read and wrltel 1 say, thero is
no mirallcl for this. The nations of
autlquity were ns ignorant ns dirt
when compared with thin great repub
lic of ours. There is no nation In the
world that can shown record llko ours.
We ought to bo proud of it. We ought
to build moro schools, and build thetn
better. Our touchers ought to bo paid
more, and everything ought to bo
taught In tho public schools tbat is
"I believe that tho children of tho
republic, no matter whether their
fathers nro rich or poor, ought to bo
allowed to drink at the fountain of ed
ucation, and it does not cost more to
tench everything in tho frco sohools
than it docs to teach reading, writing
"Have wo kept up In other ways?
The postofilco tolls a wonderful story.
In Switzerland, goitig through tho
postofilco in each year, aro letters, etc.,
in the proportion of 74 to each inhab
itant. In England tho number is fiO,
In Herman v M: lu France. 30: in Aus
tria, 24; in Italy, 10, and In tho United
States, our own home, 110. Think of
it In Italy only 25 cents paid per
head for tho support of public schools,
and only sixteen letters. And this is
the place where God's agent lives. I
would rather have . ono good school
master than two such agents."
Sniiill Fry tjnrlmllnr.
fouie of tlio meiinfcst of tliuoaro they who
ecok tolnide upon Hint nmke cupltul nut Of
tlio reputation of the Rroattt of Atncilcan
tonics, lloitftter'nMomac'i lllttcis, uy 1ml
tatlnjr It-iouiwuiil Hulbo. HoiiuinWe tlrun
itUts. however, will never foist upon You us
genuine spurious Iniltiitions of or substi
tute for tills MivorelKu romedy for m:i aria,
ilieunintlsiii, dysrssla, consumption, liver
complaint and nervousness Demand, unit
if tho dealer bo honest, you will get the gen
OtliiT Victim Cmim Kiirllcr.
Tho occasional contributor walked
into the oillec of tho editor and bowed
to that dignified but busy personage
"I would like to see, the proofrcad
err," be said. "1 have n trilling aiTuir
to adjust with him."
"Very sorry," the editor replied,
"but several other gentlemen have ap
plied ahead of you for the privilege of
shooting tho proofreader." Chicago
I'liTeil with MoliiKiifii.
Perhaps tho oddest pavement ever
laid is one 'just completed at Chino,
Cul. It is inndu mostly of molasses,
and if it proves all of the success it is
claimed to be, it may point a way for
the sugar planters of the South profita
bly to disposo of tlio mllltonsof gallons
of useless molasses which they tiro said
to have on hand. The molusscs used
is a refused product, hjtberto believed
to be of no value. It is mixed with a
certain kind of sand to about the con
sistency of asphalt and laid like as
phalt pavement. Tho composition dries
quickly and becomes quito hard, and
remains so. The peculiar point of it is
that the sun only makes it drier and
harder, instead of softening It, us might
be expected. A block of tho composi
tion several feet long, n foot wide and
ono inch thick was submitted to severe
tests and stood them well.
No Flllgrtia Work.
Dean Hole tells of un old-fashioned
cathedral verger, "lord of tho aisles,"
who ono noon found a pious visitor on
his knees in the sacred building. Tlio
verger hastened up to him and said. In
a tono of indignant excitement, "Tho
services in this cathedral ore at 10 in
the morning-nnd at 4 in tlio afternoon,
and we don't have no fancy prayers."
Tor'cun nut) Doctor (Jot n Jteit.
"My doctor," said a somewhat vol
uble lady, "was writing me a prescrip
tion yesterday. I generally usk lilm
till sorts of questions while ho is writ
ing them. Yesterday he examined mo
and sat down to vrit something. I
kept talking. Suddenly he looked up
and said: 'How has your system been',,
Hold out your tongue.' I put out that
member and lie began to write. He
wrote nnd I held out my tongue, and
when ho got through ho said: 'That
will do.' 'But,' said I, 'you haven't
looked at it.' 'No,' said he, 'I didn't
care to. I only wanted to keep it btlll
while I wrote tho prescription.' '
Hail to Draw the Line,
1'oole, tho tailor, was an accommo
dating gentleman, nnd was often in
vited to tho houses of "tho great."
When staying with a certain nobleman,
he was asked ono morning by his host
what ho thought of the party who had
assembled the night before. "Why,
very pleasant indeed, your grace, but
perhaps a little tuiNed." "Hang it all,
l'oole!" responded tho jovial peer, "I
couldn't have all tailors'."
The man is very poor who can put his
riches in an iron bafe.
DR. J. C. AYER'S
Permitted a; World's Fair.
Highest of all in Leavening Power.
llrn' on llubj'ii limit.
Two children of John Febr. residing
near Straustown, tJermnny. hntt a
thrilling adventure with n swarm of
bees. Tho insects left the hivo in a
large, black, and variegated ball, as
usual when swnrming, and alighted
upon a 2-ycnr-oltl child who waB play
ing in tho yard, totnlly unaware of tho
danger. Another child, Merton, aged
14 years, fortunately realized tho dan
gerous condition of affairs, and having
learned that swarms will vneato cer
tain places when nolso ls produced, at
ouco secured tin kettles and hammered
upon them with great energy. Tho din
and confusion caused tho bees to lenvo
tho child unharmed, and in a few mo
ments more the swnrm alighted upon u
pine tree, whore tho owner subsequent
ly captured them in a hive. Neither
of tho children, singular to relate, had
received a slngio sting.
Wo will ctvo I1C0 reward for anv caso ot
rntnrrh (tint enti not bu cured with Hall 8
Catarrh Cure Tulicn intpnmlly.
P. J. CIIKNUY & -0., I'ropm.. Toledo, O.
WlHitn Wlirnt Hrrml.
A New York physician gets around
tho eating of bolted wheat Hour by
eating unground wheat. Tho objec
tion to tlio bolted flour is. of course,
well known that It is deprived of cer
tain necessary nutriments to tho
human body. Hence tho reason for
eating graham Hour. This physician,
however, does not stop with gruham
flour, but eats tho grain whole, nnd
says his family docs not tire of it after
Its use for tbreo years.
If tho cooking is well done thero is
nn agreeable nutty flavor of the wheat
which correstiontls to tho bououct of
cranes. This flavor seems to bo lost
when the wheat Is cracked, crushed or
ground beforo cooking. If this flavor
is not desired, tho cleaned whole wheat
may be pounded in 11 tnortnr or run
through a cotYeo mill. This will short
en tho tlmo of cooking to four hours or
less, the time required fgrwholo wheat
being eight or tcu Hours. iioouuouso
Motnl Wheel for Your WiiRon.
Tho season for cutting corn fodder
being closo at hand, It may be well for
farmers to got a sot ot these low motnl
wheels with wldo tires. They can bo
had any size wanted from 20 to 5G
Inches in diameter, with tires from 1
to 8 incliCB wldo. By having low wheels
enables you to bring the wagon box
down low, saving ono man in loading
fodder, etc. It ls also very convenient
for loading nnd unloading manure,
grain, hogs, etc., and will savo In la
bor alone their cost in n very short
time. These wheels aro modo of best
material throughout, and have every
possible advantage over the high wood
en wheels with narrow tires, nnd will
outlast a dozen ot them. Thero will
niso no no resetting or tires necessary, : interview Ituthcrford B. llnyenonaome
nnd, consequently no blacksmith bills , inaUer of prison reform. When the In
to pay. wme tires savo your norses
and nrevont cutting up your fields,
For further information write Tho"
Empire Manufacturing Co., Qulncy,
111., who will mail catalogue free upon
Mitlnfurtory to lllm
"No. Mr. Northslde.-' Enid Miss Div
kane, with decision. "I cannot accept
you. To bo perfectly frank, you aro
really tho lust man in thu world I
would think of inorrylng."
"That suits mo precisely." replied
"How so, sir?" demanded tho girl,
with some asperity. "Did you propose
from a sense of duty, hoping I would
reject you, or had you a wuger on the
"Neither, I assure you. You said I
nm tbo lust man in tho world you
would think of marrying. Now I see
no reason In the world why you should
think of marrying anybody elbo after
This cheerful view of tho matter so
charmed Miss Dukane that she accept
ed It herself. The two will be married
in September. Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph. I.'lllinrd tab'o, (econil-huud. for sa'.e
(heap. Apply to or address, H. C Am.v,
311 ii. 2th St.. Omaha, Nob.
One can of tomatoes, one pint of soup
stock or beef tea, two teuspoonsfula of
flour, one cupful of milk, one teaspoon
fill ot butter, sugar, salt, one-half tea
spoonful, of soda. Melt tbo butter in
the soup pot, add tho tomato and stock.
Boll until the tomatoes 11 rs thoroughly
cooked, then htrain through a Bicve.
Put back over the fire, ana when boil
ing hot add tlie milk, flour, sugar, salt
and soda rubbed perfectly smooth to
gether. As soon as thickened take
from tho stove and servo with small
squares of toasted bread
T ho doin;
I'ipht a'ouo teuchue tbu vuluo
fezflWefoster's International I
It is easy
It is easy
It is easy
It is easy
O. Be C. Mcrrlitm Co.,
The best remedy
for nil diseases
of the blood.
The best record.
Half a century
of genuine cure.
Latest U. S. Gov't Report
I.nre From Hitrlc.
Tho department of ngridulturt Jor
cstry division, Washington, baa n col
lection of rare trees and plnntnoriVy
second to that belonging to tlio Jamom
Kew gardens, London. A recent addi
tion to this dcudrologlcal muwmtn 5m
"loco bark tree" from 1 amnion, Tho
Inner bark of this queer tveo la com
posed ot many layers of lino and InlrS--cately
woven fllbcrs which Interloclc
with each other In all directions. Caps,
mines, and even complcto suits or thiB
curious vcgotablo laco havo been made
It bears washing with common laundry
soap, and when blenched In tlio sur Ac
quires a degree of whiteness sold 010
excelled by artificial laces made ol cot
ton, linen nnd silk. This intricate Trsl
of this unique bark makes it compare
favorably to tho last mentioned -jht-ductions
for both beauty and dnru
IlrpSrninnU Camphoric MrlthCllrrmmfi..
CWIblaln,l')lci, Ac. C.D.CIarkCa.Nowlluffn.fU
ChnrRr .lust tlio fmnr.
Clerk Mr. Potcrsbo'B watch that lto
brougbt In to bo ilxcd I find has. &!nco
begun to go all right of its own accord.
lewolcr When he comes In tell like.
tho mainspring is broken and tho fly
wheel is olT its lever, but tbat vro mxt
havo It ready by tho end of tbo tvcck
Charges, S-. 50. Judge.
livery inutlirr hoiiltl itltvii
iva hnvn nt ltt
to. NoihliiB )( rtr
n h II ) tif 1 nrkur (lint or Tuv
Hind fur pnln, vreaktit'si, colds, nnd !uttilCMTitHk.
Hogan Ol have a joko on Hougldiir-
ban. They wbb a folly hem into 3ii
placo an' took .hrco drinks in rapd se
cession av his wblslty an tbln pnllotl &
gun an' shot himself.
Orogrnn Ol think tho joko ls on Ui
man. Fwat for (lid ho go to tho trtrnlde
nv usln a gun afther three drinbsov
Houghllghau's whisky? Cincinnati
Tribune. Xmv In (he time to rure jour Cbi
nltli lllii'leriurnt, II intra tnom o.it purJortlj, fI'ho
comfort to tlio fecu Mk. yuur drutslit lurlt. Vu.
Tlio Tubln Turned.
A Scotchman onco neatly turned tbo
tables on an Englishman who had beea
alluding to tho number of Scots hi
London. "Well," replied tbo Scot, "2
know a placo in Scotland whero tbcro
aro 30,000 Englishmen who never go
back to their own country." "Why.
wherever can such a crowd bo?" stl&.
tho Englishman, to whom tbo Scot dry
ly remarked, "at Bannockburn."
keryu Itestorer. Nolfllatlirthi)llrviij"intt.
UnrvFloutcurr. TrratUo nnd 82t!lnl boll ktrtt
Speaking of tho lgnoranco of Borneo
newspaper Intorvlowers, Honry Wut-
Iterson relates an inciucut mat Happen
ed In New York, when a young mnn
ivni fcont. t.r tlin Vlflli Avpnno lifitfl test '
...rvlewer bad cathered all tho i act.
I ho shot a Inst question at Mr. Itayesu
I "By tho way, Mr. Hayes," ho Raid;,
! "what wero you president of?"
i 1 am entirely cured of licnimorrhtgo cS
lungH hy rio (otro tor consumption.
l.otiBA Ltsn.vMANK, liethaiiy, Mo., Jan. fL,
Advertising extremes don't nlvrnyE'
work. Ono enterprising restaurant
keeper In townsurprlscd his customers
and many others a fow weeks ago by
displaying in his window this cign,
"Our Ico cream is hot stuff." He
worked In his slang all right, but won
dered why trado fell offi Symeueo'
"Hanson's SSaglo Com Salve."
Warranted to cure or luunejr refunilmU JU& jpam
druinrlit tor IU l"i Ico is rents.
Golden opportunities do not ily inchUm.
n little row and ihtra
in removing offend
ing matter from the
stomach and bowelw
and you thereby
avoid a multitude
of distressing de
rangements and dis
eases, and win hive
less frequent nwfl
of your doctor's
Of all known
agents for this pta
posc, Dr. Tierce
l'leasant rellets me
the best. Onco
used, they are til"
ways in favor.
The Pellets com
and bilious head
ache, dizziuess, cos
tiveness, or connta-
Tiatinii. kftnr -ttimt-
ach.loss of appetite, coated tongue, indi
gestion, or dyspepsia, windy belchirjE.
"heart-burn," pain and distress after rat
iag and kindred derangements of tlur
livef, stomach and bowels.
mt Vff hH kr
Suc:etKrrffthc"Unabrirff(J," f3 if- nm rmr 1
f.lciiirfuict.rtc.,tntooiipp.loiUoii. - 1MJPKE11" jf
I Standard Mber.s. Suprr mo (oiirt.tho 17.8. Goyi rrlnUnROkj.irfl I
m-wly 01 KUioult-wU. C'OQimeadedUjiaigt&MHQittrtBtenueauotlviciulh. I
FOR PRACTICAL PURPOSES.
to find the word wanted.
to ascertain the pronunciation.
to trace the growth of a word.
to leam what a word means.
Iubllsucr, Bprlugfleld, kas.
Uijn .BlMtwar,JtUulicUagc!Uu. alijaiuTZT
T" ,UI by tfo method if tlemttlo .m uls. I u
In Rnin. Book an I full partlcoltr fn. Kurt Jbo.bc
Jl freau. I'Airaox & Co.. eu Oui b Wdc . .k;.
W. IV. U., Omulm-atr, 18S
When mtuwerlnir advortlneineuta kindly
mention this paper
Beat Uoufb fcjrup. IuuaM(,VIl
In time. Bold by drogatrtn. I
Powered by Open ONI