Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190?, September 13, 1895, Image 4
jgr rEjEr--3sss a -. ' -. t s.: rS n A TOMBOY. lSTrtit lonp-lcggcd dntllng, Alice James, Hays cricket with the Johnson boys; "A dozen engines could not make go shrill a noise, fee's only twelve, and so, unfrocked Beyond her sometimes BhnmcleFS knee; 'AM never maiden longed 60 much A boy to be. Che puts on gloves nnd pads to bat, And makcB young Johnson bowl her slows. Good heavena! How she pulled that bAlll 'And how she rocs! Bhe's tumbled ynrds outside the crease, And 1h Indisputably out Another innings? Ah, how strong That cherry pout! Bbe keeps on hatting nil the time, And hammers Btipcrt Johnson's lobs; Che also thumps Emlllus'H, And also BoI'b! 80, rldlnR roughshod over rules, This long-legged darling has her will; . And when she's twenty, I expect She will do so still. Norman Gale. 1 THE ltOMAKCK OF A PIPE. tpiifr. Mlr.nle! It's a horrid smoking carrlnfie." "So It Is, Maud. "Well, It couldn't be helped. There was no time to choose our carriage; In fact, wo had luck In catching the train nt all. Jnese underRround trains scarcely give one time to wink." "What dreadfully vulgar expres sions you do pick up, Mlnnlel" "Slang Is the ro nowndays, my dear. You cannot be smart without It. But 1 say, do you really object to the smell of tobacco?" "Yes, especially- when It Is stale. The scent of a carrlago llko this clings to one's dress for hours." "What of that? It Is rather chic than otherwise. For my part, I great ly prefer a smoking' carriage." "What extraordinary tastol" "Not so much for tbo sake of tho to bacco, as because you meet tho best looking men In smoking carriages, aDa ." "Minnie! Don't be so expresslbly -vulgar." "And the wickedest." "Are nil Hmokcrs wicked, then?" "No; but all wicked men are Bmok ers." "And you like wicked men best?" "Hut her! Don't you?" "Of course not. How can you sup pose such a thing?" "Charlie Bidding Is a little wicked, xny dear," (wJth laughing malice.) "I I really Minnie, you 6peak as If Oh Mr. Bidding's affairs had some thing to do- with me. Haven't I told you fifty times " "Yes, yon old darling! And I've nev er believed you once. Uillon, what's this?" Wlint'a ivlmO" -. - l7yh1sV'rs7ndTfnnle78lrctchln7r across and picking up some small arti cle from tho opposite seat. "By Jingo, Hand -it pipe'." "So It Is. Some man has left It be hind him, Fgh! The horrid, smelly old thing. Put It down at once, Minnie." "You're no Judge of pipes, my dear," Bald Minnie, airly. "If you -were, you Tvoultl never abuse a pipe for being old. Now, this Is a regular clinker; qulto a gentleman among pipes. Look at It, Amber month-piece, silver col Jar, beautifully colored bowl nnd" (bringing It near to her dainty pink hobo) "smells de-llclousl" "Fnugh! I call the smell atrocious. It nearly makes mo 111 cveu nt that distance." "Ah, that's your prejudice, dear old fashioned coz. I I say" (Inspecting the Inside of tho bowl) "It's actutlly charged!' "Actually, what?" "Charged, you darling simpleton; loaded tilled with baccy. And 1 do be lieve yes ycB It Is I am suro of It It's Old Judge!" "Pray what is Old Judge, Minnie?" "Old Judge, Maud, Is n particularly scrumptious kind of baccy. My broth er Jack always expects mo to give him some for a Christians present. It tastes just about heavenly, I can tell you." "Tastes!" cried out Maud. "You do not menu to say that you have ever Bmoked It?" "Huther, I've had stealthy whiffs from Jack's pipe many a time. I should like n pull nt this one now!" As &bc spoke, to Maud's unutterable horror, she placed tho pipe In her month and made believe to draw it. "(Jood heavens, Mlnnlel" exclaimed her sober cousin, aghast. "How can you! That horrid, dirty, strange pipe? Take It out Immediately!' Minnie only laughed. "If I hnd a match with me," she said "I should shock you still more, for I ehould light up." "Allow mo to oblige you." It was a man's voice, and It came from behind. Both girls turned hasti ly round. Maud's face was crimson. Even Minnie, who was usually equal to most situations, showed signs of confusion. The stranger was in the next com partment, looking at them over the partition. How long he had been watching them they did not know, for they had sat with their backs to him, and would uever have observed him at all unless he had spoken. He was not an Ill-looking man rnther the reverse. He had a pleasant, good tempered face and twinkling eyes, which were now regarding the two young ladles with evident amusement. But he had no business to be spying over the partition nt all, still less to ad dress girls with whom he wub unac quainted. So Maud felt, and she drew herself up as stiffly as she could, and affected to Ignore him. That was not In 3Ilunle's line at all. After the first shock of the stranger's voice she 1 ' ;n to enjoy the Joke, and she said, with a wave of her hand to ward bJs proffered match-box: "Thanks, awfully. We are getting out at the next station, else I should have availed myself of the kindness." "Then, if you are really not going to wte It yourself, perhaps you can.spare mo my pipe now," suggested the stranger, smiling. "Oh, It Is yours, is It? Here you nre," she Bald, handing It up to him. "Thank you very much. I ought to explain. My intrusion must otherwise seem rnther unaccountable. I got out at the Inst station for a paper, and jumped back Into the wrong compart ment. Recollecting Hint I had left my pipe an old nnd valued friend upon the scat, I Btood up to look for It over tho partition. I was rejoiced to find that It had fallen into such apprecia tive bands,' "Oh, I know a lot about plpeB," said Minnie. Then, as tho train pulled up she turned to her cousin, exclaiming: "Illlloa! hero we nre; Gloucester rond. Out with you Maud." Tho stranger raised his hat by way of farewell. "I shall never forget Hint so great a connoisseur in pipes as yourself has pronounced mine to be n regular clink er!" ho snld demurely. When they had nllghted from the trnln Maud, who hnd been frowning nt her cousin nil through thn above con versation, nt once took that young lady to task for her encouraging tho stran ger's familiarity. But Minnie treated these remonstrances very lightly. "All right, dear old Propriety. No harm done. Only a bit of a joke. What do you think Aunt Agatha will say whn she hears about It?" "Surely you won't tell mamma; bIip will be terribly ntigfy If you do," ex claimed Mnud. "Oh, I'll tell her, certainly, If only for the sake of watching her face during my recital. It will bo better than a play," answered Minnie. And Mlnnlo did tell her. And Aunt Agatha's ace a genuine study of emo tions was decidedly better than a piny. No actress could have reproduced that horror-struck expression. "Margaret." she said scathingly. "i do not know which to condemn the more, your outrageous conduct with that impertinent stranger, or your flip pant manner of relating It. It is hard for me to bellove thnt you can be my own sister's child." A few mornings later the two girls were sitting In tho little up stairs room, whero they painted and messed, and practiced untidiness to their heart's content. A maid entered. "A messngo from misses, please, Miss Mnud. Will you go down to her In tho drawing room?" Mnud sprang up and smoothed her hair with her hands. Then sho ran down stairs to obey her mother's or der, with a very nervous, frightened expression upon her face. It was nearly nn hour before she came back. Minnie looked up nt her qucstlontngly. It was clear that some thing unexpectedly good had hnppened. "Oh, Minnie, I have something so wonderful to tell you. Mr. Bidding Charleshas had an extraordinary piece of fortune. He has eomo into two thousand a year! And mamma has allowed us to bo engaged. Shn was so kind, Minnie, and said such beauti ful things about my happiness being her one consideration. I think 1 have misjudged mamma, Minnie." Just for a second a queer, quizzical twinkle flashed in Minnie's eyes. The idea of Aunt Agathn saylug beautiful things was rather novel. However, that was soon forgotten In her gcnulno de- ilij t.wMt.jVfjitMJJaaJUajmu.uwiMii m, W4 tlXpMH .,.- hi.nim5i.nmTR .v Mlnnlo wn n warm-hearted, unselfish little creature. Khn Imftrrul n.,,1 L-Uenl l.nr fntialn n She hugged nnd kissed her cousin a dozen times. She used every term of ' congratulation of endearment. Had It been her own engagement sho could not have displayed more heartfelt and unaffected Joy over It. Maud found her sympathy very delicious. Girls In her condition are particularly susceptlblo of sympathy. It adds on 75 per cent to their bliss. At luncheon Aunt Agathn Avns more than agreeable. Her face was wreath ed In smiles throughuu tho meal. M'A nle Indulged In many vulgarisms unre buked. It was altogether au unprece d en ted luncheon In that house. Aunt Agatha said some more beautiful things nnd Minnie managed to keep her countenance. It was an effort. But she did It. In the afternoon tho elder lady went out alone to pay calls, and, no doubt, to discuss Maud's engagement with her friends. It was 5 o'clock before she re turned. She camo Into tho drawing room where the two girls were having tea. They saw at once by her face that something had happened in the interim. She had gone away in a sunlight of smiles and good humor. She came back in a storm of angry scowls. Eve Maud had never Been her mother's face moro ominous. The poor girl shuddered. What could it mean? Could It have anything to do with her engagement? But It was not ngulnst Mnud that her mother's anger was directed. "Margaret!" she Bald In nn awful voice, "Margaret!" "Yes, aunt," replied Minnie. "I 1 hardly know how to address you you shameless girl. Do you know what I have been told of you this after noon? Thnt a few evenings ago you were seen after dark In a deserted street near here walklug arm in arm with a man." "Quite true, aunt." answered Minnie In a low voice. Her eyes were bent upon the carpet. Sho was altogether very shame-faced and confused. "And a strange man!" continued her Aunt Agatha, her voice rising with in creased anger. "os, aunt. At least I had never seen him till I picked up his pipe the other day on tho underground." "Picked up his pipe!" Aung Agatha's voice had risen almost to a scream. "Is that the fellow? That counter jumper! A nice companion for my niece to walk arm in arm with in the public streets." "I did not take his arm." faltered Minnie in a slightly confused toue, un til I had promised to marry hlraj" "Promised to marry him!" Aunt Agatha's expression was now appall ing. "Marry him! Some common cad, whose very name we don't know, and-" "I do know his name, aunt," Inter posed Minnie. "What is It, pray? Tom Jones or Jack Itobluson?" scoffed the elder lady, with an unparalleled effort of sarcasm. "Not quite cither, aunt. It Is the eirl of Northover Charlie Bidding's broth er." So, you see, Charles owed his fortune to the earl, his brother. The earl owed bis generous Impulse to Minnie. And Mlnnlo owed her opportunity to thl pipe. It you took the opinion of thi three persons, adding In Aunt Agalhi and Maud, you would probably find them concur In Minnie's original vcr diet upon tho said pipe, viz., that- It was a regular clinker! Loudon Trutk New Vie for Electrlcltr. There seems to bo no end to th enormous forward strides of electric ity In all of its uses, but the advance it has made as a motive power hero In Chicago within eighteen months hare been almost revolutionary. Two years ago an elevated railroad run by elec tricity at the world's fair was a curi osity. Ten miles of elevated rond nre now operated dally In this city with electricity, and plans nre afoot to use that motive power on all tho "L" roads of tho city. Scarcely has the public becomo awnre of those plans until It transpires that the Illinois Central 1b conBidering the advisability of running its suburban trains by electricity. If this rond should adopt tho electric fluid and discard steam on Its subur ban service there 6cems every reason to believe thnt the experience of all other experimenters in that direction would be related; that the economy of electric over steam propulsion on this line ns on elevated and street car Hues would Induce other rond 8 to abandon tho steam locomotive nnd adopt the electric motor. In hundreds of less evident ways electricity has supplanted Btenm ns a motive power. Elevators, printing presses and all kinds of small machines are driven by it nil over tho city. This revolution in motive power Is of enormous slgnltlcnncc to the whole people of n city like Chicago. About half tho offenses of such a city come from the use of steam. Steam means smoke, noise, cinders, gases, waste littered grounds. Electricity can be conducted nnd applied unknown to the senses of sight, hearing nnd smell. Its general adoption on the railroads would Involve an lininen.se gain in 1 leanllncss for tho city. If 1b could be produced In properly constructed cen tral stations and applied to all tho wheelB now turned by steam Chicago would Instantly become almost a new city. Chicago News. Old Wine In EtiRlUh Holme. People scarcely realize how large an amount of tine, rare wines and Bplrlts lies hidden In old country hostclrles. Outside London few people care for any b'ut sweet wines, and on Ibis ac count clarets and dry elinmpaguo of great age nnd line flavor aro often to bo found. I know n small hotel whose name wild horses shall not drag from me, situated not many miles from one side of the New Forest. I found my self there once on n fishing expedition, nnd mnde friends with mine host., n typical Innkeeper, whose red face nlid extensive width betokened good living. We talked aliout wine nnd he pro duced some of the finest claret I aver wish to taste. It had been In his Cel lars as long ns he remembered. ; He nlso showed mo some curiously sealed bottles of Hollands, undeniably old. A connoisseur would hnve taken up his nbodo there for good, and would have been well rewarded. I have made very similar discoveries. In Kent and Sussex. All these wine probably belong to nn age before ndulj torat Ion liecnme a line art, and long keeping has made them perfeet. No- body anionic the natives care- for" tTirlti (1 "If nVi t ft . i...i,n.. I... ... il. . """" """ V.uu"rttu """- -'! "10 Erom London " T he sTdrnV I "rS lra"3 ''OIHIOU. J lie SptrltB 1 8- ia towns and villages on the sea coast were probably smuggled on shmo In the days when excisemen and smug glers indulged In hand-to-hand lights, nnd lent a romantic couleur locale to the South of England that Is sndly missing In these prosaic days. Now ndays, the lodging-housekeeper nnd divers unnnmeable little wild fowl flaunt proudly In the regions of our native land's rorgotten attempt at ro mance. London Sketch. A Pirn For the Illoomer. "Judging from the way some would bo crlt5cs t)ilk, you would suppose that women and men had dressed differ ently frans the beginning of the world," gain a prominent dress rc- rormer and literary woman this morn ing. "As n matter of fact the oppo site is Just tho case. In Rome and Greece the two sexes wore the same Btyle of long gnrment, of which the toga is the best known representative. The Arab men and women alike wear the same hood and clinging robes. The Turkish trousers of Turkish worn en have been famous for years. They ure the same as tho men's the Bnme jib Zouave trousers. In Japan the kl mono Is worn by male and female niiKe. in Chlua and Korea the women wear ooatR and trousers the sumo as their husbands. The Malay peoples use the snraug Irrespective of sex. Tho Bult of the vlvnndiere Is almost exactly thnt of her regiment. Jonn of Arc and the fighting ladles of the age of chivalry were the same armor as the kulghts. The uniforms of the religious orders of the past and of many to-day aro the same for monk, and nun, brother and sister. The robe of the churchman is a survival from the period preceding King Henry VUL. when nil "rellRious people," so-called, wore a similar uniform. The prettiest oaihtng suit worn ly belles llffcr little or nothing from those of their brothers or husbands. Every body kndWB this who has ever been outside of a smnll towu or rend the first book on travel or costume. Why, therefore, should there be a growl against the bicycle bloomer for the reason thnt it Is mannish? Such a pro cedure usually Indicates the ignorance or perversity of the growler, Mall nnd Express. A New ivlud of. LoiraKe, Mrs. Brlggson- Harold, mother call ed in nt your office yesterday, and see ing some cough lozenges on your desk, took several. To-day she Is suffering dreadfully, and she thinks you meant to poison her. Mr. Brlggson (the architect) Cough lozenges! Great Scott! That was a box of samples of our little raoslac til ings for hotel aud office floors. Good Company. What Do Yon Call Tlilit "Are you going to work?" inquired one gentleman of another when they met on a crowded elevted train the other morning "Going to work!" exclaimed the one addressed, grabbing another strap to keep his legs from giving out, "I'm working!" Yonkers Statesman. THE PASSION PLAY. HEW VEHSION TO HE 1'IIODUCED IN A SWISS TOWN. A SIirc In the Open Air Six Hour Required lo Produce the Great IMny Vivid Hlbllcnl Illntory De pleted. In the little watch making town of Selznch, Switzerland, this summer there will bo presented a new version of the Passion Piny. With rare excep tions, the production nowndays of a play of this kind, dealing as It docs with a living nnd breathing represen tation of Christ upon tho stngc, pro vokes little opposition In many of the European countries. This country has not yet outgrown Its Puritanical abhorrence of the Pas sion Play, but lu certain sections of Europe tho desire on the part of the public for productions of this kind 1b growing. Violent opposition nt times greeted the ilrst performance of tho play nt Oberninmergnu some years ago, but all this Is changed. Some of the foreign writers nnd thinkers re Bard this change not In a religions light nt all. They assert that It Is merely one of ;tho revolutions In tnste of the stage-loving public, and point to the fact thnt In the realm of thea tric art a change In rapidly working In the direction of the popular plnys or mysteries of the Middle Ages. The public, they claim, want plays of this kind, and In meeting the demand the theatrical folks have gone much fur ther back, in fact, to Biblical times. With the forthcoming Passion Play at Selznch and a snered opera called "Chrlstus" by the late Anton Itubin Bteln now being pioduccd at the Bre men Opera house, the Europeans should have a surfeit of stage produc tions of this kind. llublnstein's opera, after it has run the gauntlet of the European capitals, will probably be brought to this coun try, but It Is a question whether Its production will bo permitted. It will be a question of local option with the cities, and even, If It is eventually hi. ! ceil here It will only be after most bitter lights with tho opponents of plnys of this kind. It will also be largely modified, as In Its present shape It presents all of the lending events of Christ's life upon earth, with the exception of the crucifixion. Tho nlny to be nroduced at Selznch goes more Into details than llubln stein's opera. Two yenrs ago the Pas sion Play was given at Selznch. The success achieved was very marked as the best critics of Europe agreed that It far excelled the Oberauimor gau production. The wealthy people of Selzach, after the successes of ISM. at once began the creation of a fund for the erection of a Passion Play theater. The construction of the build ing is quite different from the ordin ary playhouse, being designed to meet the peculiar demands of the plays to be produced. The stage Is in the open air, where all the spectacular effects can be fully rc allzed. The auditorium, however, is covered and fashl.nd much after the plan of the ordinary theater, it will isent l.'-'OO people, ilie parts tioig.iei for the orchestra nnd chorines are mint after the plan of the Wagner theater of Biyreuth. They are bencntli ibe stage, surface, and entirely out of sight of the spectator. thii arrangem at InteiMfies the spectacular f.'lltUMM . f the production, the music seeming to (whim nn out of the groiiid It will take six hours to produce the play, allowing for n half hour's In'iv mWslon for luncheon. Tills necessitates the beginning of the performance at 11 a. in., and concluding at 5 p. in. Next Sunday the first presentation will be made, and the play will be enacted on every succeeding Sunday until Septem ber. The only week day on which It will bo given Is Thursday, Aug. 15, the Festival of the Assumption. Two hundred musicians, sing'rs aud actors take part In the performance, ..v. tu 1... .1... ,...t ...vin.icm. JUC music is uy iuu ii.u,u. T,., nnf.wonS'meoccup'ii T1 ""ve a L 'sloi and the secoml NakC p ! way of Imagining that something aw- lie Afternoon Ssslon. till Is happening to their husbands or Thf-?nes of X morning session j children when they nre out of their are largely taken from the Old Testa- sight, they "conjure up accidents, ana n ent, the Hrht plcturiug the life of I lyze their feelings and lose their pow Adam and Eve In the Garden of Eden, er of will." All this occurs because Their flight from the garden Is shown. ; people are too sedentary, and stay at The murder of Ciln, Jacob's dream. ) home too constantly. Unfortunately, .loscnli in Ecvnt. the finding of Moses a housewife, ns her name implies, Is a a balK and the giving of the laws of Moses on Mount Sinai are all present ed with truthful allegiance to the Bib lical descriptions. The birth of Christ Is beautifully pro duced. When the Three Wise Meu en ter the lint a daz.l ng r.ul an.o of light shows ibe Infant Cniist, with Mary seated at the foot of the crib. Stand ing by is Joseph with folded hands and with Mft music rising from the sunken orchestra and singers. The ChrlNt Three Wise Men, accompanied by the shepherds, KneCl WIUIO IH imimv diu.i- ly Increases In volume uutll It reaches a grand hallelujah of adoration. This gcene Is one of intense grandeur nnd church dignities who have witnessed It havo had nothing but .praise to say of The Journey of the Wise Men to the birthplace of Christ Is given, also a vivid representation of the Holy rura lly. The sermon on the mount Is an other striking feature of the play, lu eludlng ns It does the feeding of tho 0,000 people and rte rising up to life of the youth at Naln. In the sermon scene the Savior Is shown standing In the shade of a great tree an He preaches to the peoplo His doctrines. There Is a wonderful dra matic art In this scene, as the crowds ure slowly worked up to a wild pitch of enthusiasm for the Master nnd His teachings, and In this spirit they lead Him to Jerusalem. There Is a vnst contrast between the first nnd second parts of the play. The former portrays nil the glories and vic tories of Christ, while the latter deals with His sorrows and death. The selling of Christ by JudaB Is carint for thirty pieces of silver is one of the finest Bccnes In the second pnrt of the play; also tho trial before Pilate. Tho march to Calvary Is about the most dramatic of all the scenes. Christ, walking beneath the archways of Jeru salem with the cross upon bis shoul ders, followed by the rabble of the city, forms a wonderful picture. Before long modifications of the Pas- illfll r PIP M I'etcr. slon Play will be produced In England, which will be the first time that any thing of the kind has been presented in nn English-speaking country. It will be In form of tableaux vlvanta or living pictures, other features of the dramatic art being dispensed with. On this subject a recent number of London Black and White says that two oratorios, "The Passion" and "St. Eliz abeth and other works by Dechant h-I pcoyLb f b?l a sen lies hecec orary member of the St. Cecilia soci ety, Borne, are about to be Introduced in England. Of late over 120 towns In Germany have testified their admira tion of the music and tho Illustrative tableaux. One of the lntcst represen tations of "The Passion" wns at Salz burg, under the presidency of tho arch bishop, Dr. Katchthaler, and with the co-operation of the local choirs, and on that occasion the Marble hall of the Imperial palace, large as It is. proved Inadequate to meet the demands of the applicants for admission. Continuing, it says: "It Is held thnt the combina tion of music and picture is free from any of the objections ra'sed to the fa mous 'Passion Play.' 'St, Elizabeth' was recenly performed before the grand ducal court at Darmstadt with marked success." Supporters of the "Passion Piny" claim that It Is a most desirable relig ious agent, as it teaches the events of the Bible pielorlally.aud in a vivid way that produces a lasting Impression upon the mind of the spectator. Hounc Xi'.ven. "House lienes" Is the latest name invented by medical experts for the peculiarly depressing set of ailments wi,jL.i, mulct people who stuy Indoors too much. Merely as house nerves the ailment tun be regarded with some complacency; but for all that it is not a thing to be laughed at. All over Europe the rush for existence Is play ing havoc with sensitive cerebrospinal fibres. People recognize all the symp toms which the Inventors of "house nencs" describe as quite common to day. They are "low spirits and brood- i ing," much irritability and generally ' "morbid habit" of mind. ' Women, especially women who are 1 delicate and afraid to go out, owing ,,.m. ,,. Hm wlin suffer one whose duty It Is to stay nt home for a considerable portion of each day; and all the mischief arises from her not being able to tear herself away from home ties aud forget all about them in some form of out-of-door amusement or occupation. Fortunately, the disease Is not left without a remedy, and the prescrip tion for a person afflicted with "house nerves" is a very ugreeable one. There 1b no help to be got from medicine or doctors. All that has to be done Is to pay visits to others, to take long wnlkB In the open air and sunsiune, nuu to go in Reuerally for gayety and Inno cent amusements. The patient Is also recommended to "repress every mor bid tlvought ns It arises, or repel It by thinking of a necessary duty." Lou don Telegraph. I4KhtnliiK Struck the Ilnaor. Alicut 5 o'clock yesterday afternoon a commercial traveler called at the hairdresser's shop of Mr. It. H. Mar shall, No. 34 Lockwood road, and sat down to be shaved. He was duly lath ered, and, when Mr. Marshall had ex tended the razor aud was aliout to be gin the shuvlng operation, the light ning struck the razor from his hand nnd Imbedded the blade about three quartcrs of an inch in a wooden par tition close by, where It now remains for passers-by and customers to Bee, with a label appended below It on which Is written the following: "No- . t!ce AVhtle shaving a young gentle- man on weunesuay afternoon me lightning took the razor from my hnud nnd burled It in the celling (partition) ns above." Huddersfleld (England) Examiner. Exigency. "Married ten years, and you and your wife are still one?" The pale man with the unkempt hair glared fixedly. "Yes," ho at length rejoined, In a hollow voice, "we nre Btlll one, but we hope some day to be able to move Into a larger flat." Detroit Tribune. The denth of Sir Patrick O'Brien re calls his reply In the house of com mons to Mr. Biggnr, who had been nagging Sir Patrick for the fun he could get out of it "Sor!" snld the latter, "If I were to say to this house that 1 regarded the honorable member for Cavan with contempt aud disdain, what would the house reply? Sor. the house would say: 'Pat, me bhoy, might ye are.' " Goneral Gordon, of Georgia, tells the following story of the war period to Illustrate the shrinkage of the Con federate currency: "One day a caval ryman rode Into camp on a reasonably good horse. 'Hello, cavalryman,' said a foot-soldlcr , "lil give you three thousand dollars for your hoi so.' You go (to the bad plnce),' wits the horseman's reply; "1 just paid one thousand dollars to have him cur ried.' " There was once a prominent man In Chicago who bad a very exalted opin ion of Ids own city. He died, and, when ho reached his eternal homo, lie looked about him with much sur prise nnd said to the attendant who had opened the gate for him: 'iteally, tills does great credit to Chicago. I expected some change In heaven." The attendant eyes the Chicagnnn a second, nnd thcji observed: "This isn't heaven." Sir John Hopkins, admiral of tbo British fleet which came here on the occasion of the Columbian celebration of 1MK!, appeared on deck lu a line new uniform, and said to Julian Ilnlph who was his guest on the Blake at tho time: "Will you look at me." "Sir John."sald Hnlph, "I should think you would feel proud." "Pr-roud. me boy!" said Sir John; "I'm ns pr-roud qs a puppy dog with a gladiolus in his mouth." One dny Maurice Barrymore drop ped In at the Lambs' Club and met a few congenial friends. "By the way, boys," he said, "how Is dear old .loo Holland? Where is he now? I should so like to eee him." "Why, he's play ing over in Philadelphia at Mrs. Drew's theatre. Why don't you jump on the train this afternoon .ind run over there. You'll ste him play Bru tus In 'Julius Caesar' to-night." "I'd love to do so," said Barrymore, en thusiastically, "but, thank God, J can't." A neighbor, whose place adjoined Branson Alcott's, hnd a vegetable garden, In which lie took a great In terest. Mr. Alcott, had one, also, and both men were especially Interested In their potato patches. One morning meeting by the fence, the neighbor said: "How is it, Mr. Alcott, you nre never troubled with bugs, while my vinos are crowded with them?" "My friend," icplled Mr. Alcott. "I rise very I'Ml'lv III till' 11H.I lllllir. ITIltllOV -ill llin bugs from "my vines, and throw" 'tltem" Into your yard." An English clergy man, whoTwaV suff denly called on to preach to a congre gation of college students, was unable to speak without notes, and had ni.Jy one written sermon with him, which was on the duties of the married state. The topic was hardly cue iltat lie would have chosen for the occasion, but Ik hoped that it would pass mv.. ier as being appropr'ate by anticipa tion. Hut unfortunately lie did not read the sermon mcr, and so, before he knew' It, he- had utieicd this appeal: "And now, a wonl to .vim who sue inothcis.' When, after the second buttle of Hub Hun, General Sickles, assumed com mand of a di.lslon of the Army or tho Potomac, ho gave an elaborate fine well dlnnc to the officers of his eld Excelsior Brigade. "Now, boys, we will have a family gathering," he K.ild to them, ns they assembled in bis quartets. Pointing to a table, he con tinued: "Treat it ns you would Ibe eneniy."As the feast ended, nn Irish officer, Captain Byrnes, was discover ed by Sickles in the act of stowing away three bottles of champagne in bis saddle-lings. "What are you do ing slr'f gasped the astonished gen eral. "Obeying orders, sir," replied the captain, in a firm voice; "you told its to neat that dinner ns we would the enemy, and you know, gem ml, what we can't kill, we capture." Wordsworth wi.s present at n pnldh dinner one night, wren he was inform ed that Stephenson, the celebrated en gineer, was piesent. While the Inner was building the Skenievore licjit-l-oi so he bad been In the habit f swinging in u hammock during tne evenings nnd reading the "Excuisi'i!." This was told Wordswotth, who v.nM -delighted. At the end of the dinner, he was called upon for a speech. Ho rose and wild: "Gentlemen, I can not make n speech: I uever did. and nin afraid I uever shall. But there is a gentleman hero, present, Mr. Stephen son, the great engineer, and If yon call upon him to speak, he will doubt Ics tell you something that will ' -t you more than anything 1 could say; he will tell you how he passed the long summer evenings when he was build ing the Skerrievore lighthouse. In a New York town which lias a colcny of colored peoplo one big dar key was one day employed In netting out shrubs on the lawn of a hamlM-nie estate The master of the house wns nowhere to be seen, and a uumber of the gardener's friends were leaning cfji.fortably on the fence watchiug the operations. Another darkey di Iv or for a physician living next door, looked curiously at this row of specta tors, and then addressed the doctor, who was just getting Into his buggy. "Doctor Wilson," he said, solemnly, "dere's somebody dead at Massa Jones's, sartln sure." "Dead!" echoed the doctor; "no such thing, Cnesar. I should have heard of It if theie bad been any illness In tho family." "Well, sab," paid Caesar, pointing to the row of 6able individuals haug ing on the pickets, "if dore ain't no body dead to Massa Jones's, sab, den w'at fer 16 all dls yer mouruiu' Etrung along the fence?" if u. i