Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190? | View Entire Issue (Sept. 13, 1895)
a -. ' -. t s.:
lSTrtit lonp-lcggcd dntllng, Alice James,
Hays cricket with the Johnson boys;
"A dozen engines could not make
go shrill a noise,
fee's only twelve, and so, unfrocked
Beyond her sometimes BhnmcleFS
'AM never maiden longed 60 much
A boy to be.
Che puts on gloves nnd pads to bat,
And makcB young Johnson bowl her
Good heavena! How she pulled that
'And how she rocs!
Bhe's tumbled ynrds outside the crease,
And 1h Indisputably out
Another innings? Ah, how strong
That cherry pout!
Bbe keeps on hatting nil the time,
And hammers Btipcrt Johnson's
Che also thumps Emlllus'H,
And also BoI'b!
80, rldlnR roughshod over rules,
This long-legged darling has her
And when she's twenty, I expect
She will do so still. Norman Gale.
1 THE ltOMAKCK OF A PIPE.
tpiifr. Mlr.nle! It's a
"So It Is, Maud. "Well, It couldn't
be helped. There was no time to
choose our carriage; In fact, wo had
luck In catching the train nt all.
Jnese underRround trains scarcely
give one time to wink."
"What dreadfully vulgar expres
sions you do pick up, Mlnnlel"
"Slang Is the ro nowndays, my dear.
You cannot be smart without It. But
1 say, do you really object to the
smell of tobacco?"
"Yes, especially- when It Is stale.
The scent of a carrlago llko this clings
to one's dress for hours."
"What of that? It Is rather chic
than otherwise. For my part, I great
ly prefer a smoking' carriage."
"What extraordinary tastol"
"Not so much for tbo sake of tho to
bacco, as because you meet tho best
looking men In smoking carriages,
"Minnie! Don't be so expresslbly -vulgar."
"And the wickedest."
"Are nil Hmokcrs wicked, then?"
"No; but all wicked men are Bmok
ers." "And you like wicked men best?"
"Hut her! Don't you?"
"Of course not. How can you sup
pose such a thing?"
"Charlie Bidding Is a little wicked,
xny dear," (wJth laughing malice.)
"I I really Minnie, you 6peak as If
Oh Mr. Bidding's affairs had some
thing to do- with me. Haven't I told
you fifty times "
"Yes, yon old darling! And I've nev
er believed you once. Uillon, what's
Wlint'a ivlmO" -. -
across and picking up some small arti
cle from tho opposite seat. "By Jingo,
Hand -it pipe'."
"So It Is. Some man has left It be
hind him, Fgh! The horrid, smelly old
thing. Put It down at once, Minnie."
"You're no Judge of pipes, my dear,"
Bald Minnie, airly. "If you -were, you
Tvoultl never abuse a pipe for being
old. Now, this Is a regular clinker;
qulto a gentleman among pipes. Look
at It, Amber month-piece, silver col
Jar, beautifully colored bowl nnd"
(bringing It near to her dainty pink
hobo) "smells de-llclousl"
"Fnugh! I call the smell atrocious.
It nearly makes mo 111 cveu nt that
"Ah, that's your prejudice, dear old
fashioned coz. I I say" (Inspecting
the Inside of tho bowl) "It's actutlly
"Charged, you darling simpleton;
loaded tilled with baccy. And 1 do be
lieve yes ycB It Is I am suro of It
It's Old Judge!"
"Pray what is Old Judge, Minnie?"
"Old Judge, Maud, Is n particularly
scrumptious kind of baccy. My broth
er Jack always expects mo to give
him some for a Christians present. It
tastes just about heavenly, I can tell
"Tastes!" cried out Maud. "You do
not menu to say that you have ever
"Huther, I've had stealthy whiffs
from Jack's pipe many a time. I
should like n pull nt this one now!"
As &bc spoke, to Maud's unutterable
horror, she placed tho pipe In her
month and made believe to draw it.
"(Jood heavens, Mlnnlel" exclaimed
her sober cousin, aghast. "How can
you! That horrid, dirty, strange pipe?
Take It out Immediately!'
Minnie only laughed.
"If I hnd a match with me," she said
"I should shock you still more, for I
ehould light up."
"Allow mo to oblige you."
It was a man's voice, and It came
from behind. Both girls turned hasti
ly round. Maud's face was crimson.
Even Minnie, who was usually equal
to most situations, showed signs of
The stranger was in the next com
partment, looking at them over the
partition. How long he had been
watching them they did not know,
for they had sat with their backs to
him, and would uever have observed
him at all unless he had spoken. He
was not an Ill-looking man rnther the
reverse. He had a pleasant, good
tempered face and twinkling eyes,
which were now regarding the two
young ladles with evident amusement.
But he had no business to be spying
over the partition nt all, still less to ad
dress girls with whom he wub unac
quainted. So Maud felt, and she drew
herself up as stiffly as she could, and
affected to Ignore him.
That was not In 3Ilunle's line at all.
After the first shock of the stranger's
voice she 1 ' ;n to enjoy the Joke, and
she said, with a wave of her hand to
ward bJs proffered match-box:
"Thanks, awfully. We are getting
out at the next station, else I should
have availed myself of the kindness."
"Then, if you are really not going to
wte It yourself, perhaps you can.spare
mo my pipe now," suggested the
"Oh, It Is yours, is It? Here you nre,"
she Bald, handing It up to him.
"Thank you very much. I ought to
explain. My intrusion must otherwise
seem rnther unaccountable. I got out
at the Inst station for a paper, and
jumped back Into the wrong compart
ment. Recollecting Hint I had left my
pipe an old nnd valued friend upon
the scat, I Btood up to look for It over
tho partition. I was rejoiced to find
that It had fallen into such apprecia
"Oh, I know a lot about plpeB," said
Minnie. Then, as tho train pulled up
she turned to her cousin, exclaiming:
"Illlloa! hero we nre; Gloucester rond.
Out with you Maud."
Tho stranger raised his hat by way
"I shall never forget Hint so great a
connoisseur in pipes as yourself has
pronounced mine to be n regular clink
er!" ho snld demurely.
When they had nllghted from the
trnln Maud, who hnd been frowning nt
her cousin nil through thn above con
versation, nt once took that young lady
to task for her encouraging tho stran
ger's familiarity. But Minnie treated
these remonstrances very lightly.
"All right, dear old Propriety. No
harm done. Only a bit of a joke. What
do you think Aunt Agatha will say
whn she hears about It?"
"Surely you won't tell mamma; bIip
will be terribly ntigfy If you do," ex
"Oh, I'll tell her, certainly, If only for
the sake of watching her face during
my recital. It will bo better than a
play," answered Minnie.
And Mlnnlo did tell her. And Aunt
Agatha's ace a genuine study of emo
tions was decidedly better than a piny.
No actress could have reproduced that
"Margaret." she said scathingly. "i
do not know which to condemn the
more, your outrageous conduct with
that impertinent stranger, or your flip
pant manner of relating It. It is hard
for me to bellove thnt you can be my
own sister's child."
A few mornings later the two girls
were sitting In tho little up stairs
room, whero they painted and messed,
and practiced untidiness to their heart's
A maid entered.
"A messngo from misses, please, Miss
Mnud. Will you go down to her In tho
Mnud sprang up and smoothed her
hair with her hands. Then sho ran
down stairs to obey her mother's or
der, with a very nervous, frightened
expression upon her face.
It was nearly nn hour before she
came back. Minnie looked up nt her
qucstlontngly. It was clear that some
thing unexpectedly good had hnppened.
"Oh, Minnie, I have something so
wonderful to tell you. Mr. Bidding
Charleshas had an extraordinary
piece of fortune. He has eomo into
two thousand a year! And mamma
has allowed us to bo engaged. Shn was
so kind, Minnie, and said such beauti
ful things about my happiness being
her one consideration. I think 1 have
misjudged mamma, Minnie."
Just for a second a queer, quizzical
twinkle flashed in Minnie's eyes. The
idea of Aunt Agathn saylug beautiful
things was rather novel. However, that
was soon forgotten In her gcnulno de-
ilij t.wMt.jVfjitMJJaaJUajmu.uwiMii m, W4 tlXpMH
.,.- hi.nim5i.nmTR .v Mlnnlo wn n
warm-hearted, unselfish little creature.
Khn Imftrrul n.,,1 L-Uenl l.nr fntialn n
She hugged nnd kissed her cousin a
dozen times. She used every term of '
congratulation of endearment. Had It
been her own engagement sho could
not have displayed more heartfelt and
unaffected Joy over It. Maud found her
sympathy very delicious. Girls In her
condition are particularly susceptlblo
of sympathy. It adds on 75 per cent to
At luncheon Aunt Agathn Avns more
than agreeable. Her face was wreath
ed In smiles throughuu tho meal. M'A
nle Indulged In many vulgarisms unre
buked. It was altogether au unprece
d en ted luncheon In that house. Aunt
Agatha said some more beautiful
things nnd Minnie managed to keep
her countenance. It was an effort. But
she did It.
In the afternoon tho elder lady went
out alone to pay calls, and, no doubt,
to discuss Maud's engagement with her
friends. It was 5 o'clock before she re
turned. She camo Into tho drawing
room where the two girls were having
tea. They saw at once by her face that
something had happened in the interim.
She had gone away in a sunlight of
smiles and good humor. She came back
in a storm of angry scowls. Eve Maud
had never Been her mother's face moro
ominous. The poor girl shuddered.
What could it mean? Could It have
anything to do with her engagement?
But It was not ngulnst Mnud that her
mother's anger was directed.
"Margaret!" she Bald In nn awful
"Yes, aunt," replied Minnie.
"I 1 hardly know how to address
you you shameless girl. Do you know
what I have been told of you this after
noon? Thnt a few evenings ago you
were seen after dark In a deserted
street near here walklug arm in arm
with a man."
"Quite true, aunt." answered Minnie
In a low voice. Her eyes were bent
upon the carpet. Sho was altogether
very shame-faced and confused.
"And a strange man!" continued her
Aunt Agatha, her voice rising with in
"os, aunt. At least I had never
seen him till I picked up his pipe the
other day on tho underground."
"Picked up his pipe!" Aung Agatha's
voice had risen almost to a scream.
"Is that the fellow? That counter
jumper! A nice companion for my
niece to walk arm in arm with in the
"I did not take his arm." faltered
Minnie in a slightly confused toue, un
til I had promised to marry hlraj"
"Promised to marry him!" Aunt
Agatha's expression was now appall
ing. "Marry him! Some common cad,
whose very name we don't know,
"I do know his name, aunt," Inter
"What is It, pray? Tom Jones or
Jack Itobluson?" scoffed the elder lady,
with an unparalleled effort of sarcasm.
"Not quite cither, aunt. It Is the eirl
of Northover Charlie Bidding's broth
er." So, you see, Charles owed his fortune
to the earl, his brother. The earl owed
bis generous Impulse to Minnie. And
Mlnnlo owed her opportunity to thl
pipe. It you took the opinion of thi
three persons, adding In Aunt Agalhi
and Maud, you would probably find
them concur In Minnie's original vcr
diet upon tho said pipe, viz., that- It
was a regular clinker! Loudon Trutk
New Vie for Electrlcltr.
There seems to bo no end to th
enormous forward strides of electric
ity In all of its uses, but the advance
it has made as a motive power hero In
Chicago within eighteen months hare
been almost revolutionary. Two years
ago an elevated railroad run by elec
tricity at the world's fair was a curi
osity. Ten miles of elevated rond nre
now operated dally In this city with
electricity, and plans nre afoot to use
that motive power on all tho "L" roads
of tho city. Scarcely has the public
becomo awnre of those plans until It
transpires that the Illinois Central 1b
conBidering the advisability of running
its suburban trains by electricity. If
this rond should adopt tho electric
fluid and discard steam on Its subur
ban service there 6cems every reason
to believe thnt the experience of all
other experimenters in that direction
would be related; that the economy
of electric over steam propulsion on
this line ns on elevated and street car
Hues would Induce other rond 8 to
abandon tho steam locomotive nnd
adopt the electric motor. In hundreds
of less evident ways electricity has
supplanted Btenm ns a motive power.
Elevators, printing presses and all
kinds of small machines are driven by
it nil over tho city.
This revolution in motive power Is
of enormous slgnltlcnncc to the whole
people of n city like Chicago. About
half tho offenses of such a city come
from the use of steam. Steam means
smoke, noise, cinders, gases, waste
littered grounds. Electricity can be
conducted nnd applied unknown to the
senses of sight, hearing nnd smell. Its
general adoption on the railroads
would Involve an lininen.se gain in
1 leanllncss for tho city. If 1b could be
produced In properly constructed cen
tral stations and applied to all tho
wheelB now turned by steam Chicago
would Instantly become almost a new
city. Chicago News.
Old Wine In EtiRlUh Holme.
People scarcely realize how large an
amount of tine, rare wines and Bplrlts
lies hidden In old country hostclrles.
Outside London few people care for
any b'ut sweet wines, and on Ibis ac
count clarets and dry elinmpaguo of
great age nnd line flavor aro often to
bo found. I know n small hotel whose
name wild horses shall not drag from
me, situated not many miles from one
side of the New Forest. I found my
self there once on n fishing expedition,
nnd mnde friends with mine host., n
typical Innkeeper, whose red face nlid
extensive width betokened good living.
We talked aliout wine nnd he pro
duced some of the finest claret I aver
wish to taste. It had been In his Cel
lars as long ns he remembered. ; He
nlso showed mo some curiously sealed
bottles of Hollands, undeniably old.
A connoisseur would hnve taken up
his nbodo there for good, and would
have been well rewarded.
I have made very similar discoveries.
In Kent and Sussex. All these wine
probably belong to nn age before ndulj
torat Ion liecnme a line art, and long
keeping has made them perfeet. No-
body anionic the natives care- for"
tTirlti (1 "If nVi t ft . i...i,n.. I... ... il. .
"""" """ V.uu"rttu """- -'! "10
Erom London " T he sTdrnV I
"rS lra"3 ''OIHIOU. J lie SptrltB 1
towns and villages on the sea coast
were probably smuggled on shmo In
the days when excisemen and smug
glers indulged In hand-to-hand lights,
nnd lent a romantic couleur locale to
the South of England that Is sndly
missing In these prosaic days. Now
ndays, the lodging-housekeeper nnd
divers unnnmeable little wild fowl
flaunt proudly In the regions of our
native land's rorgotten attempt at ro
mance. London Sketch.
A Pirn For the Illoomer.
"Judging from the way some would
bo crlt5cs t)ilk, you would suppose that
women and men had dressed differ
ently frans the beginning of the
world," gain a prominent dress rc-
rormer and literary woman this morn
ing. "As n matter of fact the oppo
site is Just tho case. In Rome and
Greece the two sexes wore the same
Btyle of long gnrment, of which the
toga is the best known representative.
The Arab men and women alike wear
the same hood and clinging robes.
The Turkish trousers of Turkish worn
en have been famous for years. They
ure the same as tho men's the Bnme
jib Zouave trousers. In Japan the kl
mono Is worn by male and female
niiKe. in Chlua and Korea the women
wear ooatR and trousers the sumo as
their husbands. The Malay peoples
use the snraug Irrespective of sex.
Tho Bult of the vlvnndiere Is almost
exactly thnt of her regiment. Jonn
of Arc and the fighting ladles of the
age of chivalry were the same armor
as the kulghts. The uniforms of the
religious orders of the past and of
many to-day aro the same for monk,
and nun, brother and sister. The robe
of the churchman is a survival from
the period preceding King Henry
VUL. when nil "rellRious people,"
so-called, wore a similar uniform.
The prettiest oaihtng suit worn ly
belles llffcr little or nothing from those
of their brothers or husbands. Every
body kndWB this who has ever been
outside of a smnll towu or rend the
first book on travel or costume. Why,
therefore, should there be a growl
against the bicycle bloomer for the
reason thnt it Is mannish? Such a pro
cedure usually Indicates the ignorance
or perversity of the growler, Mall
A New ivlud of. LoiraKe,
Mrs. Brlggson- Harold, mother call
ed in nt your office yesterday, and see
ing some cough lozenges on your desk,
took several. To-day she Is suffering
dreadfully, and she thinks you meant
to poison her.
Mr. Brlggson (the architect) Cough
lozenges! Great Scott! That was a
box of samples of our little raoslac til
ings for hotel aud office floors. Good
What Do Yon Call Tlilit
"Are you going to work?" inquired
one gentleman of another when they
met on a crowded elevted train the
"Going to work!" exclaimed the one
addressed, grabbing another strap to
keep his legs from giving out, "I'm
working!" Yonkers Statesman.
THE PASSION PLAY.
HEW VEHSION TO HE 1'IIODUCED IN
A SWISS TOWN.
A SIirc In the Open Air Six Hour
Required lo Produce the Great
IMny Vivid Hlbllcnl Illntory De
pleted. In the little watch making town of
Selznch, Switzerland, this summer
there will bo presented a new version
of the Passion Piny. With rare excep
tions, the production nowndays of a
play of this kind, dealing as It docs
with a living nnd breathing represen
tation of Christ upon tho stngc, pro
vokes little opposition In many of the
This country has not yet outgrown
Its Puritanical abhorrence of the Pas
sion Play, but lu certain sections of
Europe tho desire on the part of the
public for productions of this kind 1b
growing. Violent opposition nt times
greeted the ilrst performance of tho
play nt Oberninmergnu some years
ago, but all this Is changed. Some of
the foreign writers nnd thinkers re
Bard this change not In a religions
light nt all. They assert that It Is
merely one of ;tho revolutions In tnste
of the stage-loving public, and point
to the fact thnt In the realm of thea
tric art a change In rapidly working
In the direction of the popular plnys
or mysteries of the Middle Ages. The
public, they claim, want plays of this
kind, and In meeting the demand the
theatrical folks have gone much fur
ther back, in fact, to Biblical times.
With the forthcoming Passion Play
at Selznch and a snered opera called
"Chrlstus" by the late Anton Itubin
Bteln now being pioduccd at the Bre
men Opera house, the Europeans
should have a surfeit of stage produc
tions of this kind.
llublnstein's opera, after it has run
the gauntlet of the European capitals,
will probably be brought to this coun
try, but It Is a question whether Its
production will bo permitted. It will
be a question of local option with the
cities, and even, If It is eventually
hi. ! ceil here It will only be after most
bitter lights with tho opponents of
plnys of this kind. It will also be
largely modified, as In Its present
shape It presents all of the lending
events of Christ's life upon earth, with
the exception of the crucifixion.
Tho nlny to be nroduced at Selznch
goes more Into details than llubln
stein's opera. Two yenrs ago the Pas
sion Play was given at Selznch. The
success achieved was very marked
as the best critics of Europe agreed
that It far excelled the Oberauimor
gau production. The wealthy people
of Selzach, after the successes of ISM.
at once began the creation of a fund
for the erection of a Passion Play
theater. The construction of the build
ing is quite different from the ordin
ary playhouse, being designed to meet
the peculiar demands of the plays to
The stage Is in the open air, where all
the spectacular effects can be fully rc
allzed. The auditorium, however, is
covered and fashl.nd much after the
plan of the ordinary theater, it will
isent l.'-'OO people, ilie parts tioig.iei
for the orchestra nnd chorines are mint
after the plan of the Wagner theater
of Biyreuth. They are bencntli ibe
stage, surface, and entirely out of sight
of the spectator. thii arrangem at
InteiMfies the spectacular
f.'lltUMM . f
the production, the music seeming to
(whim nn out of the groiiid
It will take six hours to produce the
play, allowing for n half hour's In'iv
mWslon for luncheon. Tills necessitates
the beginning of the performance at 11
a. in., and concluding at 5 p. in. Next
Sunday the first presentation will be
made, and the play will be enacted on
every succeeding Sunday until Septem
ber. The only week day on which It
will bo given Is Thursday, Aug. 15, the
Festival of the Assumption.
Two hundred musicians, sing'rs aud
actors take part In the performance,
..v. tu 1... .1... ,...t ...vin.icm.
JUC music is uy iuu ii.u,u. T,.,
nnf.wonS'meoccup'ii T1 ""ve a
L 'sloi and the secoml NakC p ! way of Imagining that something aw-
lie Afternoon Ssslon. till Is happening to their husbands or
Thf-?nes of X morning session j children when they nre out of their
are largely taken from the Old Testa- sight, they "conjure up accidents, ana
n ent, the Hrht plcturiug the life of I lyze their feelings and lose their pow
Adam and Eve In the Garden of Eden, er of will." All this occurs because
Their flight from the garden Is shown. ; people are too sedentary, and stay at
The murder of Ciln, Jacob's dream. ) home too constantly. Unfortunately,
.loscnli in Ecvnt. the finding of Moses a housewife, ns her name implies, Is
a a balK and the giving of the laws of
Moses on Mount Sinai are all present
ed with truthful allegiance to the Bib
The birth of Christ Is beautifully pro
duced. When the Three Wise Meu en
ter the lint a daz.l ng r.ul an.o of light
shows ibe Infant Cniist, with Mary
seated at the foot of the crib. Stand
ing by is Joseph with folded hands
and with Mft music rising from the
sunken orchestra and singers. The
Three Wise Men, accompanied by the
shepherds, KneCl WIUIO IH imimv diu.i-
ly Increases In volume uutll It reaches
a grand hallelujah of adoration. This
gcene Is one of intense grandeur nnd
church dignities who have witnessed It
havo had nothing but .praise to say of
The Journey of the Wise Men to the
birthplace of Christ Is given, also a
vivid representation of the Holy rura
lly. The sermon on the mount Is an
other striking feature of the play, lu
eludlng ns It does the feeding of tho
0,000 people and rte rising up to life
of the youth at Naln.
In the sermon scene the Savior Is
shown standing In the shade of a great
tree an He preaches to the peoplo His
doctrines. There Is a wonderful dra
matic art In this scene, as the crowds
ure slowly worked up to a wild pitch
of enthusiasm for the Master nnd His
teachings, and In this spirit they lead
Him to Jerusalem.
There Is a vnst contrast between the
first nnd second parts of the play. The
former portrays nil the glories and vic
tories of Christ, while the latter deals
with His sorrows and death.
The selling of Christ by JudaB Is
carint for thirty pieces of silver is one
of the finest Bccnes In the second pnrt
of the play; also tho trial before Pilate.
Tho march to Calvary Is about the
most dramatic of all the scenes. Christ,
walking beneath the archways of Jeru
salem with the cross upon bis shoul
ders, followed by the rabble of the city,
forms a wonderful picture.
Before long modifications of the Pas-
r PIP M
slon Play will be produced In England,
which will be the first time that any
thing of the kind has been presented in
nn English-speaking country. It will
be In form of tableaux vlvanta or living
pictures, other features of the dramatic
art being dispensed with.
On this subject a recent number of
London Black and White says that two
oratorios, "The Passion" and "St. Eliz
abeth and other works by Dechant
h-I pcoyLb f b?l a sen lies hecec
orary member of the St. Cecilia soci
ety, Borne, are about to be Introduced
in England. Of late over 120 towns In
Germany have testified their admira
tion of the music and tho Illustrative
tableaux. One of the lntcst represen
tations of "The Passion" wns at Salz
burg, under the presidency of tho arch
bishop, Dr. Katchthaler, and with the
co-operation of the local choirs, and on
that occasion the Marble hall of the
Imperial palace, large as It is. proved
Inadequate to meet the demands of the
applicants for admission. Continuing,
it says: "It Is held thnt the combina
tion of music and picture is free from
any of the objections ra'sed to the fa
mous 'Passion Play.' 'St, Elizabeth'
was recenly performed before the
grand ducal court at Darmstadt with
Supporters of the "Passion Piny"
claim that It Is a most desirable relig
ious agent, as it teaches the events of
the Bible pielorlally.aud in a vivid way
that produces a lasting Impression
upon the mind of the spectator.
"House lienes" Is the latest name
invented by medical experts for the
peculiarly depressing set of ailments
wi,jL.i, mulct people who stuy Indoors
too much. Merely as house nerves the
ailment tun be regarded with some
complacency; but for all that it is not
a thing to be laughed at. All over
Europe the rush for existence Is play
ing havoc with sensitive cerebrospinal
fibres. People recognize all the symp
toms which the Inventors of "house
nencs" describe as quite common to
day. They are "low spirits and brood-
i ing," much irritability and generally
' "morbid habit" of mind.
' Women, especially women who are
1 delicate and afraid to go out, owing
,,.m. ,,. Hm wlin suffer
one whose duty It Is to stay nt home
for a considerable portion of each day;
and all the mischief arises from her
not being able to tear herself away
from home ties aud forget all about
them in some form of out-of-door
amusement or occupation.
Fortunately, the disease Is not left
without a remedy, and the prescrip
tion for a person afflicted with "house
nerves" is a very ugreeable one. There
1b no help to be got from medicine or
doctors. All that has to be done Is to
pay visits to others, to take long wnlkB
In the open air and sunsiune, nuu to
go in Reuerally for gayety and Inno
cent amusements. The patient Is also
recommended to "repress every mor
bid tlvought ns It arises, or repel It by
thinking of a necessary duty." Lou
I4KhtnliiK Struck the Ilnaor.
Alicut 5 o'clock yesterday afternoon
a commercial traveler called at the
hairdresser's shop of Mr. It. H. Mar
shall, No. 34 Lockwood road, and sat
down to be shaved. He was duly lath
ered, and, when Mr. Marshall had ex
tended the razor aud was aliout to be
gin the shuvlng operation, the light
ning struck the razor from his hand
nnd Imbedded the blade about three
quartcrs of an inch in a wooden par
tition close by, where It now remains
for passers-by and customers to Bee,
with a label appended below It on
which Is written the following: "No-
. t!ce AVhtle shaving a young gentle-
man on weunesuay afternoon me
lightning took the razor from my hnud
nnd burled It in the celling (partition)
ns above." Huddersfleld (England)
"Married ten years, and you and
your wife are still one?"
The pale man with the unkempt
hair glared fixedly.
"Yes," ho at length rejoined, In a
hollow voice, "we nre Btlll one, but we
hope some day to be able to move Into
a larger flat." Detroit Tribune.
The denth of Sir Patrick O'Brien re
calls his reply In the house of com
mons to Mr. Biggnr, who had been
nagging Sir Patrick for the fun he
could get out of it "Sor!" snld the
latter, "If I were to say to this house
that 1 regarded the honorable member
for Cavan with contempt aud disdain,
what would the house reply? Sor. the
house would say: 'Pat, me bhoy, might
ye are.' "
Goneral Gordon, of Georgia, tells
the following story of the war period
to Illustrate the shrinkage of the Con
federate currency: "One day a caval
ryman rode Into camp on a reasonably
good horse. 'Hello, cavalryman,' said
a foot-soldlcr , "lil give you three
thousand dollars for your hoi so.'
You go (to the bad plnce),' wits the
horseman's reply; "1 just paid one
thousand dollars to have him cur
There was once a prominent man In
Chicago who bad a very exalted opin
ion of Ids own city. He died, and,
when ho reached his eternal homo,
lie looked about him with much sur
prise nnd said to the attendant who
had opened the gate for him: 'iteally,
tills does great credit to Chicago. I
expected some change In heaven."
The attendant eyes the Chicagnnn a
second, nnd thcji observed: "This isn't
Sir John Hopkins, admiral of tbo
British fleet which came here on the
occasion of the Columbian celebration
of 1MK!, appeared on deck lu a line
new uniform, and said to Julian Ilnlph
who was his guest on the Blake at tho
time: "Will you look at me." "Sir
John."sald Hnlph, "I should think you
would feel proud." "Pr-roud. me
boy!" said Sir John; "I'm ns pr-roud
qs a puppy dog with a gladiolus in his
One dny Maurice Barrymore drop
ped In at the Lambs' Club and met a
few congenial friends. "By the way,
boys," he said, "how Is dear old .loo
Holland? Where is he now? I should
so like to eee him." "Why, he's play
ing over in Philadelphia at Mrs.
Drew's theatre. Why don't you jump
on the train this afternoon .ind run
over there. You'll ste him play Bru
tus In 'Julius Caesar' to-night." "I'd
love to do so," said Barrymore, en
thusiastically, "but, thank God, J
A neighbor, whose place adjoined
Branson Alcott's, hnd a vegetable
garden, In which lie took a great In
terest. Mr. Alcott, had one, also, and
both men were especially Interested
In their potato patches. One morning
meeting by the fence, the neighbor
said: "How is it, Mr. Alcott, you nre
never troubled with bugs, while my
vinos are crowded with them?" "My
friend," icplled Mr. Alcott. "I rise very
I'Ml'lv III till' 11H.I lllllir. ITIltllOV -ill llin
bugs from "my vines, and throw" 'tltem"
Into your yard."
An English clergy man, whoTwaV suff
denly called on to preach to a congre
gation of college students, was unable
to speak without notes, and had ni.Jy
one written sermon with him, which
was on the duties of the married state.
The topic was hardly cue iltat lie
would have chosen for the occasion,
but Ik hoped that it would pass mv..
ier as being appropr'ate by anticipa
tion. Hut unfortunately lie did not
read the sermon mcr, and so, before
he knew' It, he- had utieicd
this appeal: "And now, a wonl to .vim
who sue inothcis.'
When, after the second buttle of Hub
Hun, General Sickles, assumed com
mand of a di.lslon of the Army or tho
Potomac, ho gave an elaborate fine
well dlnnc to the officers of his eld
Excelsior Brigade. "Now, boys, we
will have a family gathering," he K.ild
to them, ns they assembled in bis
quartets. Pointing to a table, he con
tinued: "Treat it ns you would Ibe
eneniy."As the feast ended, nn Irish
officer, Captain Byrnes, was discover
ed by Sickles in the act of stowing
away three bottles of champagne in
bis saddle-lings. "What are you do
ing slr'f gasped the astonished gen
eral. "Obeying orders, sir," replied
the captain, in a firm voice; "you told
its to neat that dinner ns we would
the enemy, and you know, gem ml,
what we can't kill, we capture."
Wordsworth wi.s present at n pnldh
dinner one night, wren he was inform
ed that Stephenson, the celebrated en
gineer, was piesent. While the Inner
was building the Skenievore licjit-l-oi
so he bad been In the habit f
swinging in u hammock during tne
evenings nnd reading the "Excuisi'i!."
This was told Wordswotth, who v.nM -delighted.
At the end of the dinner,
he was called upon for a speech. Ho
rose and wild: "Gentlemen, I can not
make n speech: I uever did. and nin
afraid I uever shall. But there is a
gentleman hero, present, Mr. Stephen
son, the great engineer, and If yon call
upon him to speak, he will doubt Ics
tell you something that will ' -t
you more than anything 1 could say;
he will tell you how he passed the long
summer evenings when he was build
ing the Skerrievore lighthouse.
In a New York town which lias a
colcny of colored peoplo one big dar
key was one day employed In netting
out shrubs on the lawn of a hamlM-nie
estate The master of the house wns
nowhere to be seen, and a uumber of
the gardener's friends were leaning
cfji.fortably on the fence watchiug
the operations. Another darkey di Iv
or for a physician living next door,
looked curiously at this row of specta
tors, and then addressed the doctor,
who was just getting Into his buggy.
"Doctor Wilson," he said, solemnly,
"dere's somebody dead at Massa
Jones's, sartln sure." "Dead!" echoed
the doctor; "no such thing, Cnesar.
I should have heard of It if theie bad
been any illness In tho family."
"Well, sab," paid Caesar, pointing
to the row of 6able individuals haug
ing on the pickets, "if dore ain't no
body dead to Massa Jones's, sab,
den w'at fer 16 all dls yer mouruiu'
Etrung along the fence?"
Powered by Open ONI