m
VANITY OP VANITIES.
In days of old, It cnmo to pass
That Vanity was born a lass,
And lovers wooed her nil In vain,
She cared not for their grief or pain.
And still she walks the enrth to-day,
Disguised In woman's lovely clay,
And still men grieve It enrae to pn68
That Vanity was born nlns.
-r-Buffnlo Courier.
1 IRIS AND AUNTIK.
"But you arc not In earnest?" I said,
"Certainly I am," replied Bob, ami
his faco corroborated his assertion.
"Good heavcnsl" I exclaimed.
"Where's the objection!" ho began,
In an Injured tone. "Because It's not
conventional, because U'a contrary to
custom? That's conventionality's fault,
not mine. Look here. Reggie, throw
precedent and sneaking scntlmen
tallsni to the winds, and then look tho
thing straight In tho foro and then
point out tho harm. Iris Maypol le nn
angel, wo will assume.
"Agrord." I said, enthusiastically.
"Oh, wo nil know you're gone on
her," he replied Hiinppfsh'ly.
"Go on," 1 said.
"Well, if IrlH Is nn angel "
"Good heavcnsl" I Interrupted ngnln.
"That's just tho point. 'If should not
enter Into the nrRument, It never
does, In fact, where there's real love.
That's tho sure slRiinl of affection.
Eliminate tho affection, and In creeps
tho "If."
"You're yomiR, Reggie," replied Bob,
In a tono that made my lip curl. "Wo
will return to our hypothesis. If Iris
Is nn angel which at present I ntn in
clined to allow and If she Is expect
ing mo to put the mnrrlnRC question
which I feel positive Is n fact where
is the harm If I ro to n private de
tective to Norton Scrubbs, to wit-
and say, 'I want to know the ups and
downs of i.Mss Iris Mnypel; hero's my
money, report ns soon as posslblo?"
Where's the harm? In a few days I
know nil about tho lovely Iris' from tho
world's standpoint, my owu convic
tions conllrmed beyond Question In the
future. Sure of the quality of my
gninc, I load and lire, and at my feet
falls tho yomiR and lovely Iris."
"And If tho detective's report Is not
to your liking?"
"Ah, that's whero tho gain comes
lu. I nm saved a lifc-louR disaster.
There are fools that aver that mar
riage is a lottery. Bosh I Built on a
commercial basis, It's as sure n thing
ns exists. Start without any bad
debts without any misunderstand
ings, fallacies, preconceived embellish
meuts which never existed but In
your Imagination, and there's a life
long happiness to draw from as you
require. Whore, I repeat, Is tho harm
of Inquiry?"
I was too disgusted to repiyf so
pleaded an engagement nnd left him.
Bob Pnllant was my friend, nnd I
doubt If I could hnvo swallowed his
impertinent suggestion had It referred
to a stranger, but when Iris, tho pret
ty, soft-voiced, downy-cheeked, Innocent-eyed
IrJs was concerned, my
stomnch absolutely refused. For I
adored Iris Maypol, and that she
should be subjected to such an Insult
ns Bob proposed made mo simmer.
For It was nn Insult this prying Into
her spent life, even If Iris wero con
scious of thn liberty. Moreover, I had
read of how these private Inquiry
agents would pry oion around tho do
mestic hearth, and could by mlstako
or Intent throw such lurid light upon
a llttlo error ns to make It appear
ghastly nnd terrible.
"Her Innocence alone should protect
her from such duplicity," I nrgued as
I walked. "To attack such guileless
rusticity with tho subtleties of urban
resource was blackguardly In the ex
treme. Even Iris's maternal aunt, who
hnd piloted her through her llrst Lon
don season with creditable on re and
watchfulness, would hardly be alert
to Bob's unprincipled suggestion.
I wished ns I went my way, that
one of Iris's brothers would suddenly
present himself, for I felt equal to
proving my friendship to Hob by dis
closing his Intention ere he could per
petrate It. But, Tor 1 knew, Iris was
brotherless. I had never Imagined to
diet such Information of her people
beyond the simple fact, that they liv
ed In tho country; certainly that huge,
rambling mansion burled In the re
cesses of a well-timbered park from
which there Issued In tho morning
gay squires and fair ladles In full
hunting rig, and where, at night, love's
soft cooing was echoed by the wood
land doves and the roar of n hunting
chorus was mocked at by the owls,
could uot have been altogether a men
Inl aberration, though who put it nil
Into my head, If not Iris or her nvntle,
1 couiu uot recall.
I purposely avoided Bob's rooms for
a week. I knew I should only Insult
him If I went, nnd I was loath to do
Hint. Besides, upon reflection, n llttlo
brightness broke through the mist.
If Norton Scrubbs made a mlstnko
and either by accident or design--supplied
Bob with a report of Iris's
character and upbringing, libellous
and untrue. Bob would throw up tho
spouge, and then
All along It had been patent, to me,
nt least, that Iris's preference for Bob
wnB the result of chance. She hnd met
him an hour before I was Introduced,
aud Bob hnd rondo the ruuul-ig. lie
had had tho start of me, aud I was
not quite good enough to , verhnul
him. But what opportunities for me
were offered by an adverse report
from Norwood Scrubbs! I would never
unbuilt my darling to such an Indigni
ty. I would never
In the midst of my reverie In wnlk
od Bob.
"Congratulate me, Boggle." he smil
ed. "Eh? You're you're engaged, do
you say?"
"As good as. I've got Scrubbs' re
port. 1I It Is. 'Iris Maypel, of
Mnypel urt. hi the county of Blank
shun, oi.ly child and heiress of Alex
ander Thomas Maypel, J. P."
He looked tip suddenly from the ia
per. "I verified name and address In the
county register," he said.
"Anythiug more?" 1 asked.
"Oh, yos, lots. I'll pjvo you pert I
uent extracts. .Born, May. 1S75.'
Shos youuger, than 1 thought, Reg
gie." "Sho doesn't look her age," I re
torted. Boh grunted nnd continued.
"Family renowned for rectitude of
purpose, mornl severity, generosity,
nnd mercifulness."
"I could hnvo told you that," I In
terrupted. "Iris carries nil tint, and
more, lu her face. Go on I"
"The ladles noted for their enduring
beauty, Innocence of mind nnd splen
did physique. The Maypcls come over
with William of Normandy, nnd nre
hence of Norman cxtractlou; their "
"That.'s enough," I Interrupted nngrl
ly. "Why will you continue to Insult
the girl you pretend to loyc?"
Bob lnughtcd light-heartedly.
"Confound your Impudence nnd
your hospltnllty!" he said. "Haven't
yon soiuo whisky or something to
pledge me with, Boggle?"
I found him some liquor ami ho
drank but mine stood untasted, though
I did, In a feeble way, wish him every
thing ho desired. My recent hope,
quashed so soon after birth, left me
limp. ,
"By tho by," I remarked, presently,
"you take Scrubbs' report for gospel,
1 notice. You don't question his er
veracity?"
Bob laughed mcrrilv.
"Question tho veracity of Norton
Scrfihbal Doubt the written word of
tho smartest mnn in his profession!
No, my boy, only nn Idiot would do
that. Why, ovm tho bar acts upon It,
sometimes. Besides, look nt his bill
of costs. Faro to Maypel Court, llrst
return 1 INs. Lodging and board nt
hostlory In the vicinity of tho court,
together with tips for Information
nnd so forth 11 -Is. What do those
items menu?"
"Oh, I suppose It's nil right," 1 re
plied. "I don't doubt that one of tho
hounds has followed the scent, hut It's
ninazliig to me that you can lie satis
fied with the report of any third per
son and yet bo Incredulous' of your
own eyes.'
"Now look here, old mnn," said Bob,
with a paternal flourish, "what's mlno
can't bo yours where n wlfo Is con
cerned nt nil events; nnd so make up
your mind to the inevitable, and if
you imiBt love Iris" Maypel learn to love
her as a sister, though there s greater
security both for you nnd me, to say
nothing of our friendship, If you drop
loving her at all."
IIo left mo to ponder over his well
meaning hint nnd I was vainly en
deavoring to perceive the truth In It
when a letter.from Iris was handed In.
The llrst few lines led up to this:
"Why hnvo you deserted rs so long,
Mr. Cllve? Failing to meet you nt any
social gathering where you are usual
ly to bo found we quite expected you
to call. I have, with great dltllcult.
dissuaded dear auntie from the belief
that I have offended you. Will you
not come nnd assert your Innocence?
Hear auntie's box for Wednesday'
'first night' is not filled, and if ou
will honor us by helping to fill It dear
auntie will be really delighted as also
yours, etc.,
"P. S. Kindly drop us n line to-day.
If you have the Inclination to bring
your answer, tuuttto will be at homo
ns also yours, etc.,"
I read the lines nnd then endeavor
ed to read between them. Iris had
never npproached me In so Intimate
a mood-In fact, I had been shown to
comprehension more thnn once that
Bob's friend was not necessarily upon
tho same family footing as Bob. And
as for auntie--certainly her cold civili
ty had often Impressed me, but I had
never flattered myself that she would
have concerned herself If Iris had of.
fended, nye, Insulted me n dozen times
a week.
The fact is, hone, so recentlv ovnn-
oratcd, condensed again, nnd 1 drank
It with avidity.
I fancied there was a smile on the
man's face when he opened the door
of the pretty flat lu St. .lames', and
said
"Miss Maypel Is in tho conservatory
sir, and expecting you."
The man's smirk spoilt what else
would have been my record heart
leap. Still, It looked hopeful that Iris
was waiting for mo In a place I know
from observation her aunt did not fre
quent. The man left me liurrledly nt the
door aud I walked nrouud the cruiser
vntory twice and peeped behind every
available refuge there were giant
palms and no less giant screens In
plenty, but Iris was not there.
I stood perplexed, wondering If
there were nny connection between
Iris' absence and that uglv servlng
man's smirk. But suddenly I hoard n
voice, nt llrst faintly, and then most
distinctly.
"Don't bo a fool," It said. "You'll
get yoim money right enough, :f yon
wait. Only let me run ulone. I've
got my head screwed on right, I can
assure you. If you Interfere you'll
suffer for it, that's all."
It was Iris' voice!
"But my dear "
There was the thin, piping aoIco of
her aunt.
"Don't but nt me!" Interrupted Iris,
angrily. "Bob Pallnnt Is off, I tell
you, and nil your arguments won't
bring him on ngaln. Little Reggie
uuve s my man now."
I shrank within myself. At the mo
ment Trls spoke my name they had
entered tho conservatory, and I had
arranged myself for a formidable
sneeze with which to announce my
presence. But the end of Iris's sen
tence broke off my sneeze Into a mere
sigh, nnd before I could rearrange my
self for the effort they were speaking
ngaln, nnd I was uncertain whether
It was best to boldly face them or to
wait behind the screen on tho chance
that they would soon clear out.
"I suppose I must tell you tho whole
tale," Iris continued, peevishly,
"though some things nro best kept to
oneself. Bob Pallnnt hns made an
egregrlous ass of himself."
"Good gracious! How ?" broathlpssly
exclaimed auntie.
"Applied to Cousin Norton for my
character and antecedents."
"Well!"
"Of course Norton' humugifhed him
right eiiough, told pretty lies nlont
1M mill ttVnntml mi. mill nn4 fnmllv In
TTnVIVIl 1 nillnbK- vnonti'ml inimi
nfiinn. t wn.n.i n ,w. il .' ir i He en me straight across to me. a
things looked favorable I would pro.n- wK,aS?!S" nMi
i r "- " " '"
a fairly respectable country position,
but-"
"Doesn't Hint suit you?" Interrupted
auntie.
"No, you old fool. Do you think
I'm going to marry n mnn who has
been humbugged like tlint?"
"You nre unusually tender about a
little imposition."
"Thank you. that will do. I didn't
pick up n chaperon nnd pny her hand
somely to stand auntie to me for a
senson nnd Introduco me to society to
bo bullied by her In earnest. There
arc no men to hear tut now, remember.
I'm not n kid. I've censed to blub
ber, and I won't bo whipped. Can't
you see Hint If I marry Bob Pallnnt
after this, my chanco of pleasure to
say nothing of your chanco of your
fee wouldn't b worth a week's no
tice? He would Jolly soon undeceive
himself, nnd then "
"You wouldn't be to blame. You
didn't deceive him."
"No, but Norton Scrubbs did, nnd It
would ruin his reputation nnd close
his purse to mo forever. Norton hns
already given mo to understand ns
much and advised me to take on Reg
gie Cllve. But there, you haven't nny
sense."
What nn nwnkcnlitgt How I men
ially cursed myself! Now I mentally
cursed Bob for not having married his
, tnnoceut-llpped, downy-cheeked, dove-
ejeo iris rigiu away without mq.ury,
and so spared me the agonizing per
dlcnmcut I was in. Now I cursed
likewise mentally- Norton Scrubbs
and all his kith and kin. And all that
ipeutal imprecation camo out through
my pores until drops of sweat fell
soft and silent upon the lorn petals
of a dying chrysnnthemum.
But I hnd suffered In silence long
enough. Scene or no Hccne, scandal,
slander, or what not, I cared not I
wns callous to them nil. I would re
veal my hideous presence.
Tho revenllng was done for me.
That smirking servnnt appeared and
announced In a sepulchral voice that
Mr. Cllvo had arrived.
"Very well, Adams, show him In."
"I have already shown him In,
Miss Iris," stammered the man.
"Didn't I tell you to show him here
to the conservatory?" said Iris se
verely. "And so I did, Miss Iris. I brought
htm here several minutes ago, and I
have been searching for you ever
since to tell you so."
1 stepped from behind the screen
Just In time to witness the full com
edy of the moment. Iris wns a spec
tacle to behold! She lmflled all de
scription. Amazement mingled with
fear, shame, guilt, horror, rage, Indig
nation, nnd a number of other symp
toms peculiar to such a nervous shock.
I wnlked to whero sho still sat, too
pnmlyzcd to move.
"Miss Maypel," I said, "I have over
heard your conversation, nnd I know
you will cnll me a cowrtrd and nn
eavesdropper, but my conscience Is In
nocent. I wns put here by your man,
nnd you hnd already committed your
self before I could warn you of my
presence, so I walled In tho hope that
you would leave before discovering
me."
She made no reply, so 1 gladly
walked from the conservatory and the
house.
I went home nnd tried to see the
end of the business. What attitude
would Iris adopt when Bob in the
Hushing pride of Norton Scrubbs re
port, proposed marriage to her? I
gave up tho conundrum when, far Into
the night, I had failed to solve It.
I went down to the club the follow-
i Ing day resolved to tell Bob all when
j his familiar face wearing anything
nut ins familiar expreslon looked In.
nil
ed his gaze,
"How should I know If yon are Ig
I nornnt?" I replied. "Isn't she with
hr her nuntle?"
"Possibly," returned Bob. "In fact
probably. But Where's her mint?
They're disappeared from their Hat
flown, owing six months' rent besides
salaries and unpaid bills Innumerable
and have left no address."
"Well," 1 said reflectively, "I'm not
surprised after what I overheard in
their conservatory yesterday after
noon." "What did you hear?" asked Bob,
eagerly.
I told him.
Poor old Bob! I won't attempt to
record bis subsequent remarks anent
women In general and Iris nnd auntie
in particular, since no self-respecting
type would consent to chronicle them.
Illustrated Bits.
IN THE WItOXCJ ROOM ANIJ I1ED.
SliiKuInr Hniiiienliiff I" Xew YorU la
Settleil Only by Otttlia.
John Donco, n Hungarian, tiS years
old, says the Now York Sun, lives
with bis wife Bertha on tho second
floor of the tenement nt KIT East One
Hundred ami Eighteenth street. James
Big, n Hungarian carpenter, lives
across Hie hall. Big went home at 1
o'clock yesterday morning drunk.
Mrs. Donco was In bed with the door
unlocked, because her huslinn.l wns
out. Big drifted Into the wrong room,
and went to bed without awakening
Mrs. Donco.
Two hours later Donco returned.
Then there was a scene. Mr. Big and
Mrs. Donco. who were both asleep
when Mr. Donco returned, protested
their entire Ignorance of each other's
presence In the room until awakened
by the indignant husband.
Flnnlly, In resiionse to his wife's
pleading, Donco asked;
"Will you swear It?"
"Yes," said the wife.
"And you?" asked Donco, turning to
Big.
"Certainly 1 will," Big said.
The tlnee, with a 10-year-old girl
act as Interpreter went to Ilailen.
conn yesterday, and Big nnd Mrs
Donco, laying their hands on the court
Bible swore that the husband's unto
ward discovery was entirely the resul.
of nccldent, aud that they were inuo
cout of uny wrongdoing.
The husband said he was convinced
aud the three went home the best o
friends.
THE INDIAN'S WOOING
VAltlOl'S WAYS IN WHICH 1,0 HOES
HIS COURTING.
The Hlnnkct l'lnr nn Important
I'nrt Anionsr the ZiinU the Ctrl
Milken the Overture How the
.nrnJON Settle the Mnther-lti-l.iiw
Problctn.
Courtship varies somewhat lu differ
ent Indian tribes, but lu every ense Is
quite nt variance with civilized ways.
Plains Indians do most of their court
lug In a standing position. A lover
waits near the lodge of his inamorata,
or beside the path along which the
girls of the village must pass for wa
ter. While so waiting he will have his
blanket entirely over his head, only a
small opening being left for the eye.
In this way his Identity Is concenled,
nnd ho escapes the guying of his fel
lows. When the favored one appears
he approaches and throws his blanket
over her head, too. If she reciprocates
this attention they will stand for
hours with the blanket closely wrap
ped around their heads and shoulders.
If she Is not favorably Inclined to her
A Mon.nl llellc.
lovers attentions he must at once de
sist. Among the Zunls it is the girl who
llrst makes overtures. Her parents or
relatives Inform those of the young
man as to the stnto of things, and If
everything goes smoothly she becomes
"his to be." After that the betrothed
collide may often be seen together.
In suminer she will sit combing his
hair on the terraces, while In winter
he will sit by her fireside sewing on
her trousseau. When the later is fin
ished, Including the necessary pair of
white moccasins made from n whole
deerskin, the two nre pronounced man
and wife.,
With some of the Pueblo tribes the
young people are given two ears of
corn Just before marriage, the young
man a blue ear and the maiden a
white one. The kernels are very hard,
and they must prove their devotion by
eating them every one. Then they
must run a foot race hi the presence
of the head men of the pueblo. If the-
giii conies out ahead she is eter after
ward "boss." If the man conies out
ahead he is boss. If the race is a
draw the match Is declared off, for
this result Is considered a bad omen.
It may safely be Inferred thai such an
untoward nccldent seldom happens
with time lovers.
Mr. Dunbar, in speaking of the Paw
nees, gives an interesting account of
marriage among them. The girls may4
marry at thliteen, aud the young men
at sixteen or eighteen. The qualities
most desired lu a wife are that she
should be of good family and well
skilled in domestic duties. Personal
beauty is of secondary importance,
though not without weight. The girl?
have most regard for personal bravery,
rising influence, skill in hunting and
a line physique.
When a Pawnee brave has chosen a
suitable maiden for a wife he puts on
his robe with the hair side out, draws
it over Ids head so as to entirely con
ceal his face, nnd entering the lodn
of the fair one. sits down. No one
pays him the slightest attention, nor
does lie speak himself. His object Is
sutllclently understood without words.
At the end of a few days the visit Is
repeated In precisely the same way.
If on this occasion he llmls n roue or
other seat of honor prepared for his
reception he uses It and uncovers his
face, for this Is a sign tliat ills at
tentions are acceptable. If no prepar
ntlon has been made for him he le
tlres, nnd the wooing Is ended.
In thedormer case the maiden soon
appears and takes a seat beside her
lover. Tho father also makes It con
venient to be present. Between the
An Almoin- Mulilen.
two men the matter is fully discussed
nnd then referred to the family rela
tions. By the laiter the subject Is
very thoroughly investigated, the last
point to be settled being the price that
shall bo paid. This Is a very Import
ant Item, and Is never omitted. With
the Pawnees n bride Is considered to
be worth from one to twenty ponies,
according to her qualifications.
The marriage ceremony is very sim
ple, if there may be considered to be
any at all. It consists of the bride
elect going to the lodge of her hus
band; the event being followed per
haps by a feast given by her parents.
Among tho Navajos eight iwnies is
considered nn average price for a wife
mm iHNffl
Wfi! trnmmL
and twelve Is high. A pony Is worth
nlKiut ?10. The wife Is the property
of the husband, nnd when ho wants to
he sells her. Hindi n transfer makes no
breach In the friendly feeling between
the two. A traveler relates that on a
long ride through the Navajo Reserva
tion he hnd as n guide a very Intelli
gent Indian, with whom he, convers
ed for hours. One night when they
could find no water, for which their
horses were suffering, the guide said:
"If we go a few miles further we will
find n Navajo house where we will be
comfortable. The man Is my friend,
nnd his wife Is n good cook. She wns
my wife, last year, but I sold her to
him."
On arrival nt the "house," which
wns simply n rude wall of stones built
nrouud a cavern, the family nppcnreC.
The man was a villainous-looking,
elderly Indian. The womnn was fat
and 40, without being fnlr. The meet
ing wns cordial all around, and be
tween the guide nnd his former wife
there wns much pleasant bndlnnge.
The new husband placidly smoked ci
garettes. '
Another peculiar thing about Nava
jo marriages is that after the event
the mother-in-law and son-in-law
must never look each other In tlio face
again. Thus these ignorant savages
have solved a problem which bos'
bothered civilization for ages.
Polygamy Is very common nmong all
Indians. It Is only recently that the
government has been able to make
headway ut all toward breaking It up.
Some Indians have been known to
have as many as a dozen wives, al
though two or three Is far more com
mon. When nn Indian marries more than
one wife it Is quite customnry for him
to take tho younger sisters of the llrst
one. They nre given to him ns soon
ns they become marriageable, the fa
ther receiving n pony or two for each
one. The oldest sister is the principal
wife, and rules the others; a young
wife, however, If n favorite of tho
husband, escapes most of the annoy
ance from this source. Polygamous
marriages of this sort are more apt
to be hnrmonlous than where the
wives come from different families.
Quarrels between wives nre frequent
nnd while surveying one daw he was
enough under the best circumstances,
nnd sisters nre more npt to live to
gether peaceably than strangers.
Indians are very fond of their child
ren and trent them with much kind
ness. They very rarely whip them,
nnd It Is believed that no youngsters
in the world nre hnppier than these
dirty and half-naked little specimens
of humanity. Indian babies do not
cry as much ns white ones, for the
reason that when they do cry no at
tentiou Is paid to them.
Some tribes have regular story tell
ers, men who spend a great deal of
time In learning the myths and
stories of their people, and who pos
sess. In addition, n good memory,
and vivid imagination, Tiic mother
sends for one of these, and having
prepared a feast for him, she nnd her
flock, who nre curled up near her, lis
ten to the fairy stories of the dreamer
A I'tichlo lleiiuty.
He is the Palmer
for
the
hotn s,
tribe.
Cox of
. Contrary to the general
nmong Indians, Pueblo men
custom
take a
large share in cm Ing for their child
ren. When uot ircupled in tilling the
fields fathers may often be seen each
with a tat youngster strapped upon
his back. Its big eyes and plump face
peering own- his shoulder. Even the
white-haired governor of the town is
' not too dignified to tote the family
' baby up and down tho courtyard or
j to the tribal gatherings.
When a child Is born lu a Pueblo
, town the father has a novol duty to
perform. For the next eight days night
and da, he must keep a lire blazing
In the family fiieplacc. It can only be
kindled in the manner sanctioned by
their religion by the fire-drill, tlint
steel, or by a brand from the hearth
of the goornor. Should the father let
It go out or fall to kindle It in one of
the ways mentioned. It is solemnly be
lieved that the child would not live
out the j car.
ui:mi:dv i'oii tu.mibii peet.
Knt Trill' I'etlnlN Often the Ciiiini- of
hiirem-HM An Excellent Cure .N'uui
cil. After n long day's ride n good tunny
cyclists complain of sore feet, nnd
when touring this Is apt to get worse
i each day Instead of belter. One excel
lent remedy Is to bathe the feet at
night for about ten minutes In warm
water, to which a few drops of tinc
ture of capsicum and u pinch of Ep
som salts hnvo been added. This will
tends to harden them somewhat, and
mlroly remove the soreness. Rat
trap pedals are often the prluclpnt
tnuse of the annoyance, nnd It Is n
good plan to cover them completely
with thick string wrapped round and
round over the blades before too much
harm Is occasioned. This done In tlin"
wil (often render a long ride posslblo
which would otherwise be quite out
of the question. It will bo found tliat
the string will give a very fair hold for
Oie foot, and where toe-clips nro used,
no disadvantage in this respect will be
felt.
People who start on foreign trips
early Jn the year are now on their way
home. The westward tide of steam
ship travel has set In with so much
strength that the transatlantic liners
cnu baldly accommodate tho home
coiners. But tho absent ones will nil
eveututilly get across the "pond."
There is uo ground for anxiety on tliat
fecore.
XON-S1MCAIII.E MFE-llOAT.
Description of an Inferential Craft
ConMtrncted by m. Chlcnuo In
ventor. The man didn't live In Chicago who
complained that there Is udthing new
under tho sun, else would his mind
hnvo changed at sight of the little
model brought to the Iuter-Ocenu of
fice yesterday of a new "life-boat" just
patented by a. Swedish-American resi
dent of the South Side. A. S. Hed
berg, of No. 215 One Huudred and
Eleventh fetrcet, In the Rosoland ward.
Made of galvanized Iron in actual
sorvlce different materials can be used
the miniature looks like a large tur
nip, and Is in two parts, cut apart hor
izontally at the Hue of greatest girth.
The halves, However, at'e firmly clamp
ed together with a water-tight connec
tion, when the toy Is dumped Into the
water, to which It takes as Jauntily as
a rubber feather, nnd the only means
of entrance nnd exit then Is via a lit
tle upward opening like n melon plug,
and very easily made use of, as also
readily rendered wntcr-tight in Its
turn, At the top are several little
holes for ventilation, but which can
also bo closed nt will. Furthermore,
there nre six windows, round ns port
holes in the ordinary ship. Over all
this Is a flagstaff which can be lower
ed and put up nt pleasure, with water
proof connections nnd ventilation de
vice, and on the top of the flagstaff Is
a lantern. There nro two oar holes
also, one on each side, similarly water
tight in the play of tho pair of strong
serviceable oars.
And last, and most Important of nil,
the apparatus always rides the wave
rlght-slde-up-with-care, because of the
abundant bnllast In the bottom. The
Interior of the miniature Is fitted up
completely, with seats all around the
wall, and there arc straps for addition
al support In case of storm.
For practical use the Inventor pro
poses a iife-boat" of this description
v.
The Xeiv Smi-Siiiknble Ilont.
Which shall be either eight feet high
bv six feet in diameter, at the widest
girth, with a seating capacity of ten
persons,-or else one ten feet high mid
eight feet wide, seating twenty-five
persons. The former stylo of boat,
made wholesale, would cost only ?f'.",
nnd would carry 1,000 pounds without
sinking more than four feet lu the
water, riding as buoyantly as a top.
In the base would bo plentv of room
for supplies and water to last from
ton to fifteen persons several weeks,
without any danger from water or
vitiated air. For the first named slzn
of boat the circular entrance would be
three feet In diameter, aud the win
dows one foot. Chains are attached
oil the outside for people out in the
water to catch hold and climb up by.
The llfebout cannot, possibly lip oer,
but simply bobs up and down like a
cork.
Alreadv on Lake Calumet there Is :i
little "lifeboat" of this pattern, and
the Inventor expects soon to have one
on Lake Michigan. Chicago Inter
Ocean. ,
KMIWINti A RIVER.
Wluit a Pilot from PfttNhiirir to
Cairo Mimt Curry In HI llentl.
At this season of the year, when the
river excursion business Is at its
height, and hundreds of boats me
carrying thousands of people to and
fro along the entire length of the Ohio
river from Pittsburg to Cairo, many
persons who ordinarily never give tho
subject u thought nre being Impress
ed with the wonderful way In which
navigation on our beautiful stream Is
carried on. The first thing noticed
generally Is the nccuracy with which
the pilot handles the boat, avoiding
the liars, which are near the surface
of the water at this season of the year
going from one side of the river to the
other, nnd finally, without a Jar, land
ing them all safely at their destina
tion. When the excursion business Is
over these same men will assume simi
lar positions on packets and towboats
carrying hundreds of tons of freight
aud thousands of bushels of coal on
every trip with the same accuracy
with which they handled the excur
sion steamers during the summer.
A large number of the pilots run
ning out at Cincinnati know tho river
from here to New Orleans, others
from here to Memphis, nnd others still
to points up the river ns far as Pitts
burg. "Know the river!" This phrase
means much. For Instance, a man
running from here to New Orleans
must be able to take charge of the
wheel of his boat at any hour of tho
day or night, at any point of the river,
nnd on any stage of water. He must
be able to tell nt a glance exactly
where the boat Is, at any point on this
long stretch of 1518 miles. He must
know every bend nnd chute, and by
day the different points by which to
steer, such as houses, barns, trees,
fences, and even haystacks; by night
every light placed by tho government
In conspicuous places, as well as the
hills and their shape; he must know
exactly how long to hold the boat to
one light or object before changing (
another. When the Mississippi river
Is reached a new feature presents It
self In the shape of the constantly
changing chnnel. To work hero re
quires more skill and greater judg
ment probably than all the rest of the
dltffeulHes combined. Going down, a
boat may go on one side of the river;
coming back It doesn't go within two
miles of that place. Whon these
things nre appreciated (and they nro
only n small number of the things a
pilots must know), thon It Is that the
pilot gots credit for what be dorjs.
rittsb'jrg Commorclnl-Gazotte.
Oft
A-., v
V
