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.' A Romantic Affair.
"Yes, my dear, It's a caso, a decid
d one. Hoart, or whatever stands
in its place, very much offoctcd: but,
kt us hopo, not incurably so," said
- (Xato Gordon, shaking her head with
mock gravity to her cousin Lillian,
who turned fromtho window, out of
which sho had been gating, and look
ed inquiringly at tho speaker.
"I. saw him over your shoulder,"
continued Kate, "as ho walked slow
y away up tho Btrect, and I also saw
the blush that instantly crimsoned
your pretty faco(how do you manage
to have that blush como at your
call?)andtho light that sprang toyour
lovely eyes. Again you'ro in love, or
fancying yourself in love, Lilian.hav
fog already forgotten tho young ar
tist that sailed for homo
only a month ngo; and this
timo it Is with a poor professor
of music in a great city, whero there
arosufilcicut of his kind to convert a
4 great country into a musical Bed-
lam."
"Why, Kate!"
"I'm Burol don't know why," said
Kate, protending to tako tho ox
clamation for an interrogation,
"unless it is liecauso ho has largo,
dark eyes,aflnoform,an aristocratic
faco, a roflncd air" generally, and last,
but not least, appears to bo highly
sensible of your fascinations. And,
then, you'vo always been ready to
fall in love with any interesting per
son that enmo in your way ovor
since your first teen, especially when
distanco Iont enchantment to tho
view.' "
"What a romance, or Borablnnco of
a" romance, to udoptyour own modo
of speaking, you arc making out of
nothing, Knto," says tho younger
girl, with a toss of her chestnut
braids.
"Out ofnothingl" repeats tho other.
"Given a pretty, a very pretty girl
watching at her window, half-hidden,
in tho regular pootlcal stylo, by its
lace curtains, at niuo in tho morn
ing and four in tho nfternoon
a handsome, a very handsome
young man, coming out at tho door of
a dwelling opposito punctually at tho
first hournndgoingin punctually at
tho Inst, each timo casting profound
ly respectful but unmistakably ten
der glances nt tho watchor in tho
window. A pink rosebud in her light
brown hair in tho morning is dupli
cated in his buttonholo in tho even
ing. Sho stops ono wintry day at
tho corner ol tho street to buy a
bunch of violets, and, unconscious,
of course, that sho is observed, press
es them to her lips. That same night
a mysterious messenger leaves an
exquisite basket filled with tho
fragrant things at her door. No
doubt tho poor young professor
went without his lunch for a week to
buy them, for hothouso violets and
exquisite buskots "
"Kate! How can you?"
"BccauBO I can," answora Kato
coolly, "and what's more, I can nsk
how is it all to end? I know it is
nothing but romance on your part,
but it may be reality on his, and al
low me if your delicato sensibility
will admit of it, to recall to your
' mind the fable of tho boys and tho
rocs, where what was fmfononoBido
wns death on the other, and to kind
ly suggest that you find sorao new
occupation at tho hours of nine and
four."
Kato I was never moro deeply im
pressed in nil my life, .that is, never
as deeply impressed that is oh,
tshawl you know what I mean.
)on't you believo mo?"
Disregarding tho question, Kato
went on: "And granting that you
aro in earnest this time, which
I don't grant, by tho by,
nothing good could como of it. Your
positions in life aro far apart, that
is, society decrees that they are, and
being a well-bred foreigner, ho no
doubt nc:epts Buch a decree as in
evitable, and unless you meet him
halfway (you have already takon
tho first Btep), ho will nevor go be
yond thetenderglanconndthobuBkot
of flowers. And besides all that, you
will remember that Claro do Vero did
Tiot monopolize all tho prido. Tho
Ijreomnnhadhis share, and the hotter
Iinrt, to my way of thinking. And,
f I'm not mistaken, your handsome
professor is just a proud'
"Kate, how do you know all this?"
asks Lillian, rising and coming to
stand before her. "You say 'no
doubt' and 'if I'm not mistaken,'
but thetono ofyourvoico says you
know."
"Because, m denr, while you have
been dreaming I havo been acting.
1 felt a sorrowful interest in tho poor
fellow as soon as I discovered that
you had made up your mind to look
at him, and Bolwentto work nud
found out all about him."
Down on the floor beside her sank
pretty Lillian, saying as sho seized
one hand: "Go on, Kato; that'B a
darling,"
"A du.l.ng?" How lone; will it bo
before I'm a huteful old thing, one of
your favorite names for me, though
I urn but two yeurs older than your
self. But I'll go on if -you'll tuke
your sweet self off the train of my
new wrapper. It's too young to be
wrinkled.
"Tlmt he is a professor of music
you discovered yourself at the Lut-
trolls', whero the dull-haired and on-vlously-Complexionod
Miss Gertrude
condescends to bo taught bv him.
To trio belongs tho credit, if it be a
credit; of finding but all tho rest, and
at tho risk of shocking you, you aro
such a 'mimosa sensitive,' my dear.
I will proceed to tell you how I did it,
I mado friends, nt tho confectioner's
ono day, with his landlady, that fun
ny little Frenchwoman with thocork
serow curls and tho very much up
tilted Hoso, and I told her" Lillian
mado a gesturo of impatience. "Well,
I'll skip thnt and come to what sho
told mo. Now, what should you
guess his nnmo was? His first namo,
of course, for it couldn't be oxpected
that you could guess his last."
"Walter, Hubert, Reginald, Rod
crick, Sebastian."
"Wrong, every ono. Itfl Robort,
not a bad namo, as nnmes go, that
is if they don't shorten it to Bob,
and it harmonizes very well with his
last namo, which is Lear. And lio's
f)oor, as I said before, so poor that
to and tho traditional church mouso
might shako hands, and call each
other 'brother,' if the mouso hap
pened to bo that kind of a mouso
is part French, part German; goes
nowhero but where duty calls; sings
in tho solitude of his own shabby
room, 4AchI wars t du nur moin
eigen,' nnd songs of that ilk, as you
havo heard, and is fust falling head
over heels in lovo with my gontlo
cousin Lillian, an exceptionally pret
ty girl, who really don't and nover
would caro two Btraws about him,
being at tho coro of her hoart dovoted
to tho purple and fine linen of life,
and only unmarried as yet because,
as sho herself has conlidcd to me,
none of her admirers could offer a
million."
"Stuff nnd nonsenso," says tho
"gentlo" cousin in no gentlo voice, as
sho rises from her lowly position, and
leaning her elbow on tho mantfo and
her bond upon her hand, looks down
whero she has been looking up. "You
know nothing about it, Kato. I
novor, nover, never was so attracted
toward any ono as I am towards
Robort why couldn't it havo been
Rudolph or Reginald so much moro
Eooticnl, you know towards Robert
ear, Ho's just liko somo ono out of
a poem, Sir Lancelot, for instance, so
handsome, so melancholy, so grace
ful." "Lilian, what would your father
and mother and sisters and brothers
say if they heard you? They ore
Yoro do Verish to tho lost extreme.
I beg your pordon for smilling, my
dear; but to mo the Vero do Vero
business us done in America is inex
pressibly comic. I know I don't de
servo to belong to tho family, fori
can't fortlio life of mo forgot that our
great-grandparents sold tobo'Co
rotaill Howover your immediate
kin would net as though they owned
half-a-dozen coronots among them,
and drive tho musical upstart whoso
grandmother actually wore one to
suicide or worse. As for you, my
dour, they'd shut you up in your
own room nnd give you nothing but
beefstako and fried potatoes for a
month. Think of that! What a
dreadful punishment for ono who is
as fond of broiled birds, roast turkey
and cocoanut tarts as you are."
"You may laugh as much op you
please. Kate," says Lillian with a
frown. "You always were a mntter-of-fact
creature, with not a bit of
sentiment about you. You cannot
understand tho feeling that sprang
up in my heart the very first mo
ment I beheld him. Had I your for
tune "
"It's only a few thousand, my
dear," interrupted Kate, "and you
know your own is a million. But, to
bo seriouB, if you had it you'd bo
looking for two millions instead of
ono. There, there, don't burst into
tears. I will, I vow I will bo serious
this timo. And I ask you, granting
that you are willing to admit him in
to tho favored circle that pays you
homage, how is that ndmittanco to
bo managed without your overstep
ping tho bounds of maidenly proprie
ty? To bo frank with you, hobelioves
ub I know you ncednTt shrug your,
shoulders as I know, I say,' that'
your interest in him is only v, girlish
fancy, and tho little Frenchwoman
tolls mo bIio is in his confidence, be
ing an old iriend think of that, a
woman who takes boarders, that in
a month or so, to break tho fetters
vnnr wltohnrv hns thrown around
him, he returns to his owu country."
"Kuto, havo yo no feeling? Doyou
wunt to break my heart? Yes break
my hoart. You need not look at mo
in that incredulous way. When you
spenk of his going away forever I
feel as though all tholight and beauty
wero faded out of my life. And if at
this moment ho und a millionniro
stood V
"No rash vows, Lillian," interrupt
ed Kate, i
"I must nnd will bid hope. I must
nnd will, I say. Kate, how shall I do
it!"
"Faith, I don't know," says her
cousin, with a delicious miniicry of
tho broguo nnd an air of meek resig
nation, "unless, mo dear, you send
him a valentine,"
On tho evening of tho 15th of Feb.
runry there was a large and fashion
able party at tho Luttrell's. And
"queen rose of the rosebud garden
of girls was pretty L.ulinnl reighton.
So thought, though not precisely
in those words, for he read no verses
with the oxcoption of comic ones. Al
len Ingram, owner of the yacht Fore
well, tho fast horse Neverbeat, a
town-house unrivaled inmagnincence,
a country house unequnled in splen
dor, and thousands ol his banker's
and elsewhere.
With a world of admiration in his
very light blue eyes ho followed the
"queen rose" about, happy to play,
for tho time being, the part of her
slave.
Mr. Ingram was small and Ignoble
in person but his fortune was grand.
Hisoycs woro faded, but tho dia
monds thnt awaited his brido wero
bright. His brain and voico'Wero
weak but his family was strong. On
ly for a few moments that evening
did ho leavo tho enchantress, una
then it was to seek tho supper-room
nnd toast her in sparkling cham
pagne. At that timo Robert Lear left his
seat at thopiano. Lillian's compan
ions wero clustered together before a
picturoutthe other end of the room
and sho stood alone, nnd with his
proud faco all aglow ho sought her
side, and in a deep, rich voice hesaid,
"Blessed forever bo the good St. Val
entino. Ho brought me your precious
message this morning, and my heart
has danced in my breast over since I
read theso words:
Nay, fly not from the spelt of love
Lent I should pine in vain regret,
lint iitay nnd con thin lesson o'er
Faint heart ne'er won fair lady yet.
It was a verso lrom a valentine, a
violet scented valentine,-thnt ho had
received that day.
Lillian Crcighton looked nt him
with haughty surprise in her faco,
wrapped her white satin cloak about
her as though she felt a sudden chill
in tho air, nnd turned away.
Back to liiB place, tho place ho was
paid to occupy, tho youngmnnwent,
whilo all tho brightness faded from
his face, and tho beautiful dream that
ho had been dreaming so long died
out in utter darkness.
"Could T havo been mistaken?" lie
murmured,
"Not nbout the valentine," said a
low, sweet voice, and looking up he
met Kato Gordon's lovely, pitying
brown eyes, "notnbout tho valentine,
but nbout everything else. What to
you has been so serious, to her lias
only counted ns one of her many ro
mnntic affairs. Tho reality of her
life will bo Mr. Allen Ingram or ono
very liko him."
As sho ceased speaking and turned
away, Robert Lear flung back tho
long hair from his brow, and striking
with firm powerful touch somo
grand, full chords, burst into a
triumphant march, a march that
said to at least two listeners: "Slight
wns tho wound that I feared would
be so deop, for feeble, most feeble, was
tho hand thntstruck it. And though
for ono short moment I faltered, I
lost no strength, but strong in heart
and spirit as over, I again tako my
plncoln tho grand army of tho battlo
of life."
And fitting reward awaited so true
a soldier, for tho vory next 14th of
February ho held a beautiful, brown
oyed woman in his arms, close to his
heart, and whispered, "Many a grief
is a joy in disguise. Had it not been
for falso Lillian's false valentine, I
should nover havo won truo Kate for
my wife." Margaret Eytinge.
Yawnliiff
From tho London Globe.
It is now somo years since Mr. Al
fred Collier wroto his yawning song
nn invitation to drowsiness not lees
potent than tho best after-dinner
speech of a magistrate or tho good
old tlireo-deeker sermon, Yawning
hns gonornlly been associated with
comedy. There havo ever been
coarso wags who, in reference to the
well-known "catching" power ol
yawning' havo evolved tho proverb
"What is mineisyawn" n confusion
of"meum"nnd "tuum" only defen
sible in tho case of asleep-walker.
But reports from Cambridgo City, in
Indiana, put a tragic color upon this
institution. In that town ono Mr.
Lacky, having indulged in a large
yawn, ruptured some of the cords in
tho vertebra?, and "romains at pres
ent in a critical condition." Tins re
grettable incident should bo a warn
ing to all lazy folk, 1 awning is a
vice which is of oil vices most sym
pathetic. The terriblo maxims
about "examples" apply to it with
Jatal, pernmce. Is -there not oven
tuo enso ol the lounger m tue isntisn
museum who, standing opposito to
ono of tho triumphs of Assyrian
sculpture, was provoked by the si
lence and the attitude of tho mon
ster's jaw, into what is believed to
havo been tho most capacious yawn
on record? Still, the yawn must be
recognizejL-ai'ta valuable social in-
1 stnmiont. - What is so convenient to
get rid of a wearisome intruder ns
that little motion of tho hand to tho
mouth, which, liko a chorus lady's
costume, suggests what it does not
roveul. It is a standing maxim in
the hand books of "Etiquotto for tho
drawing-room" that yawning must
on no account bo permitted. As an
offense it is ranked with the kindred
offenses of eating soup hastily or
shovelling peas into the mouth with
a knife. But not nil tho maxims of
hand books will over ostrocizo that
most convenient form of dismissal
which intimates by a yawn what
words connot express, l
A Dime Museum Trick.
Electrical Itev lew.
An energetic, business-like man en
tered tho factory of tho C. & C. Mo
tor company, New York, recently,
and in nn off-hand manner that near
ly parnlyzod'theinanager.-remarked.
"I desireto purchase'onvelectric mo
tor to run my perpetual motion
machine. I um the the proprietorof
a dimo museum in this city." Tho
contract was modo, and tho visitors
to a prominent dime museum in this
city are now treated to a view of the
on and only perpetual motion
machine in which theconcealed power
is furnished by an cloctric motor run
by storage batteries.
How Mr. White Settled.
From UieNeir York San.
After explaining that liis son.Tohn
was threatened with a breach of
promise suit, and that tho girl in tho
caso lived only half a milo away ondl
wiiiiug wj uw taiKcu ro, too oiu man i
ai.n,rmnfn ,. ...ui. us .i '
tinniiu tliu liW JiV uiu ttlbll IIIIJ1 U1IU
witness his efforts to effect a settle-
ment. Wo found tho girl at homo,
also her father and mother. They
wero all shelling corn in the kitchen,
and Betty, as the girl wasnamed.
looked anything butbroken-hearted.
Sho was twenty-three years old,
weighing 165 pounds, nnd was in
clined to sentiment. After greetings
and a gWernl introductfon, my
friend, whose namo was Jeremiah
White, led off with-
"Now, then, thnr ain't no use in
chasing rabbits all over the woods
to find ono in a trap. Betty, you
and John hev busted up."
"Ynns, but it hain't my fault," sho
replied.
"No, indeed,'' added the mother.
"Ho busted of his own accord."
"Reckon he did," put in Betty's
father, as he laid down a hnlf-slielled
car to light his pipe.
"When folks is eourtin' they often
bust up," observed Jerry as lie got
comfortably seated. "Thoy git jeal
ous. They got sick of each other.
They git outer sorts. Mebbo ono
has a bad breath."
"Yaas, Jerry, I'm follerin' ye,"
said Betty's father.
"And when they bust up tho best
way is to bo sensible. John don't
want no' row with Botty, and Betty
don't want to row with John."
"No more, I don't," murmured tho
fair one.
"John isn't fitten for you, Bet.
Ho's all for mowls, and whisky, and
tobacco, and fighting; and you is all
for poetry, and stars, and clouds,
nnd flowers. You is too higli-soulcd
for John."
"Shuck my hide if thut hain't sol"
Bxclnimed Betty's father.us lie who ek
ed tho edge of the tub with a big ear
ot corn.
Botty simpered and giggled, and
tho mother looked pleased.
"That's why yon busted," softly
oxplained my friend. "Had to come.
Couldn't help it. When ono is too
good for 'tother a bust always conies.
Say, Betty, Icouldn'tsleeplnstniglit
for thinking of that verse yon wrote
for my old woman when sho wns sick
last year. I'll bet I repeated it over
a thousand times."
"Oil, la! Mr. Whito!"giggled Betty.
"Yaas, it run in my head till I
couldn't sleep. I kept saying:
"Old Mrs. White in very nick
And mebbo she w 1)1 die;
Although to favo her from tne vc
Tho doctor hard will try."
"All, Betty, if I could write such
poetry as that I wouldn't be slosh
ing around hero no great while, und
you kin jigger to thatl"
"Honest Injun?" sho asked, hold
ing an ear of corn in either hand.
"Dead sure. And now, Hetty, be
ing ns you w'nr to good for John,
and being ns you'vo busted up.
I'm going to send you over t.iem
two black hogs and geeso as a pres
ent." "Is it for her wounded feelins?"
asked Betty's father.
"Kinder that way, and kinder be
causo she's so good."
"Bet's cried a heap, and she's lost
lotsof time," put in her mother, and
you'd hotter throw in that ar' pea
cock." "Durned if I don't, Hannerl He's
the nicest bird in the country, and a
peddler offered me $10 for him, but
chuck my hide if I don't throw him
inl"
"Then I won't bv " snid Betty.
"No, she won't,1 .idded tho father.
"Then it's nil settled befo' this
gent, who is tho witness." continued
Mr. White. "I'm glad on't. It's
tho proper way. When folks love
and bust up, as thoy sometimes will,
thar's a proper way to settle dam
ages. We've settled, and I'll send
tho stuff right over, nnd Bet will be
fr?e to mako up to that feller who is
setting fanning mills up at the corn
ers, and who'll be down this way to
morrow." Resuscltntlon After Death.
Ualtimorn American.
Tho Medical News has an article
upon resuscitation after death which,
if oxteosivoly read by tho laity, is
suro to occasion doubt nnd nnxiety
in the "minds of many persons. -After
showing thnt two kinds of death
somatic and cellular tako place be
fore lifo Iiob completely faded from
the body to be recalled, the article
points out tho importance of pliy
Bicinns properly distinguishing be
tween tho two nnd renewing nnd
abandoning their efforts at resuscita
tion as circumstances direct. So
matic death may bo briefly described
as the failure of the main organs of
the body, tho brain, henrt, and
lungs, to perform thoir functions,
while cellular deuth is where tho cells
or tissues of the body dio. Botli may
occur at tho samo time, but, the
writer urges, the former may tako
place without the latter, and often
does, and in all such cases there is a
chance of resuscitating tho dead
person until cellular death Buper
venes. Authentic instances of such
resuscitation are given among oth
ers, the caso of a man whose body
remained at the-bottom of u shallow
stream for fully half an hour before
it was taken out. He was resuscita
ted after several hours of unremit
ting labor. But a more remarkable
caso was that vouched for by Prof.
Armor, A friend ofliis died from In
dian hemp poisoning. The physi
cians racked nis brain for more thun
an hour for some means of restoring
his friend to life while he lay dead in
his presenco, nnd at length called to
aid a sturdy negro. They worked
mnnfully for four hours. During all
tbat,timo tbei-o wiuynot tho slightest
Bign of lifo, but fit its expiration a
slight movement of tho lips was do-
tocted, and tho Btethoscopedisclosed
-" ----- : i, n."' ."" ; """"
over tho heart." Their efforts wnrr
, tt 1 JA1 i, ----- --.
""" wiui mo resun mat
ruHpiruuuiiuiiu circulation wero very
slowly re-cutnblished, and conscious
ness returned nfter mnny hours. Tho
mnn lived for many years afterward
indeed, up toVfow'tjsVs ago, and
was a prominent Now England bank
er. A Tf omnn on Kissing,
hns been the gallant habit ol
It
men, irom immemorial, to comment;
unfavorably on tho habit which
women have of indulging in tho use
less distribution of kisses among
themselves, but it is not often thnt
the nnimndversion of the erring sex
itself is visited on the samo theme.
A critical young lady, however, wns
recently heard expntiating vigorous
ly against this senseless custom.
"Do, lor goodness sake," sho re
marked, "say something about the
silly way that women havo of kissing
each other every time thoy get to
gether. If twenty women wero to
meet in tho street every Inst ono of
them would havo to kiss tho other
nineteen, and there would bo let mo
see 080 kisses worse than thrown
away, for probably in ten minutes
tho whole party would noparate in
to squads and go off talking about
each other. When you see ono of
these very violent miscellaneous kiss
overy thing-within-sight kind of worn
un, it is safe to set her own down as
a fraud, which sho generally is. If I
had my way, kissing should be con
fined to family use, and for medicinal
purples. Now don't you put my
name to all this or I will kiss you
right on Washington street tho very
first clinnco 1 hnve." Then tho tnlk
ran off on other kinds of kissing, and
n story was told of a young lady
who kissed a baby hold in its father's
arms; then in a moment of temporary
insanity or abstraction she stood
on tiptoe and hiKed tho papa.
Realizing instantly what a dreadful
thing sho had done, she wheeled
around and kissed the baby's mam
ma, who wns standing near, and re
tiredin goodorder. Her satirical sister
squelched tho poor young woman ns
thoy left tho house by asking her if
shedind't want to go back and fin
ish it bj' kissing the hired girl. In
dianapolis Journal.
Criticism of Science,,
Men of hcieuco mny, ns individuals,
fall into mny errors. They may fail
to realize the true dignity of thoir
calling; they may bo unduly swayed
by party spirit or by personul aims;
thoy may be unworthy ministers of
the truths which they deliver But
science, what was it but truth? And
what is the scientific spirit but tho
spirit that bows to truth? To ull
who aro dissatisfied with the present
currents of thought we would, there
fore, say:
"Criticise men ns much as you
please. Point out their errors, their
tnilings, intellectual and moral, with
all needful ,se'erjty. Hold up the
standard by which you think their
lives and thoughts ought to ho gov
erned. Criticise theories, too. Let
nothing pass unchallenged or un
scrutinized that you aro not satisfied
is true. Let no glamour of great
nnmes, no populnrity of certain
modes of thought, deter you from
expressing your dissent lrom what
you do not believe.
But do not put yourtsolves hope
lessly in tho wrong by attacking
science, or by abusing tho scientific
spirit. You will gain nothing by it,
but will merely darken -your under
standings, nnd shut yourselves out
from tho light thnt isreudy to light
en every man thnt comes into tho
world. Scieneo will abide. Ithasits
root in the everlasting rocks und
draws its ailment from universal na
ture. The sceutific spirit will ubide,
admonishing men of their errors, nnd
lending thorn into all truth. It is
wise to be reconciled to such powers
as these; even now when you are in
the way withvthem ..jnpko terms of
pence and find rest to your "souls'."
W. D. Ijq Suer in Populnr Monthly.
lie Kind to the Children.
Wallace says the mind of mnn is
so great that henceforth his "selec
tion" will replace the primiuval pow
er of "natural selection," so that it
is possible the eurtli will bear ouly
cultivated plants nnd tn mo animals
and Frederico Bremer thinks man
mny possbly create nn ennobled race
of animals" by the education of a
kind gentle treatment. With what
potency, then, comes this truth to
the education of children. Here, in
deed, is the richest reward of kind
ness. And how is it possible to look
on n child without being touched by
the pathos of its helplessness? How
fearful harshness is. or cold neglect,
and how dreadful are angry punisli
jnentB to these little beings who cling
to us like cluster) in a vine! It is by
our good juices they must be ripened.
anu 11 Ilie villB ue uuu, nuuv uu
for them? And, as before, I have
said that there is great vanity nnd
conceit in unkindness, bo tho kind
ness of tho love of pnrent or teacher
will root well in humility. For who
can look on a child without awe, or
compare its needs and his own at
tainments without a fear?
.
"Yes. I 'spose I've kille
b'ars thnn nnyothermnnintl
kill mountains," said the old
as ho pushed back in his coon
cap. "The total eouvt is 'iiUt
believe.
"You must have been in dui
ous positions mnny times?"
"You bet!"
"I suppoBe-thatscaron'yotir c
was mnde by the claws' of u beai?'
"That scar? Oh, no. The
woman hit me thnr with a splinte
"Your left eye is gone. Did i 1)
uo that"
"Loft oye7 Oh, no. The old
hooked that out."
Fifty bears nrengoodmun
Son'.
ol them must havo been
fierce?"
"You botl"
"I notice your rierht ham
pled. I suppose a bear got
ins month" i
"Right hand? Oh, no.il got
into a corn shelier." '
that1
"ou walk lame in
that come from a
1,T,,.0 i
one leg. Did
tiHslo with a
"One leg? Oh, no, I fell off a load
of hay and broke my leg."
"Well," persisted the questioner,
"thnt sear over your right eye 'must),
have been made by a bear."' ,-
"Right eye? Yes, purty near be
ing a ba'r. I run ngina beam in tho
bani in the dark."
"Then you wei-p never huged,
chawed, nor clawed by a bear?" que
ried the reporter in disgust."
"By a bear. Oh, no."
"But you have killed fifty?"
"Yes, on even fifty."
"How did it happen thnt you were
no ver harmed?"
Harmed? Oh, I always shot 'em
at least 40 rods off, or first got 'em
into a trap and shot 'em nr'terwnrds.
Don't never let a bar come nigh you,
young mnn tliey's dangerous"
A Xarrow Escape.
New York Pun.
On so tame an errand as that of
reporting a dinner aboard a (Jernian
steamer that had made the almost
incredibly slow time of ninety days
in crossing from Hamburg, a re
porter ran afoul of a mot exciting
adventure. Someone had called for
on American patriotic song. Tho
reporter said lie could sins the timo '
of the "Star Spangled Banner" '
anyone else could fall in with tho
words. This plan worked admirable.
Tho song was sung. The reporuyr
wns at the right hand of tho lieadfof
tho table. At tho foot of the tablo
sat a man from , Charleston. It wn
nearly teiryeara UTtcr theylrmo .of
tho rebellion. "Now," said the
Charleston man. "thejrentlemnn will
please sing 'The Flag M ith the Single
Star.'" The reporter replied good
naturedly, that lie would willingly
sing it but that he did not know itA
The Charleston mnn leaped to liis-
feet with his revolver leveled nt tue
leporter's head.
"Sing it, one," said he, "sing it
two. When 1 countthree, I'll shoot.
Sing it, tin-"
He never counted the third time.
A well-directed battleful of cham
pagne struck him on the head and lie
fell to tho floor. Thenimble German
who threw it saved the reporter lor
moro adventures.
White Kirch Toothpicks.
A toothpick factory is one of the
flourishing wood working establish
ments at Harbor Springs, Mich.,
nnd it is one of the largest factories
of the kind in the country. White
birch is exclusively used in tho man
ufacture of the toothpicks, and nbout
7,500,000 of the handy little splin
ters nre turned out daily. Tho logs
ore sawed into bolts each twenty
eight inches in length, then thorough
ly steamed and cut up "into veneer.
The veneer is eut into long ribbon,,
three inches in width, nnd these rib
bons, eight or ten at n time, are run
through tho tootpick machinery,
coming out nt tho other end, and
perfect pieces falling into ono basket
the broken pieces und lefuse falling
into nnother. The picks are packed
into boxes, 1,500 in n box, by girls,
mostly comely looking young
squuws, nnd nre then packed into
cases, und finally into big boxes,
ready for shipment to nil parts of
the world. The white birch tooth
picks are very neat a nd clean in np
pearnnce, sweet to the tnnte, and
there is n wide market for them. The
goods sell at the factory at $1 .90 a
case of 150. Tiinbermnn.
He Will Xot try Thnt Trick Asraln
Howard Clinffin, of New Holland,
Oliio, whoso domestic relations nr
not the plensantest, attempted tc
frighten his wife by sending nor the
following note: "When you get this
you will be a widow. You will find
tho body in tho stable." Mrs. Cha
IHn received this startling news with
considerable nonchalance, and, it is
nlleged, got out her husband's best
clothes and began to brush them for
the funeral. Sho sent her duughter
to the stable, who returned, saying
ho wns not dead, but looked, "aw
ful bad." Hastening to tho stable,
Mro. Chnliin iound her husband sus
pended from the rafter. In her ef
forts tD releuse him she discovered
that ho had passed the cord under
his arm, and that there was not the
slightest prospect of deuth ensuing
ing from Btrangulntion. Securing a
good, stout stick, slie belabored him
until he cried for mercy und begged
to be iclensed from his nwful position.
How to Kill n Bcar.
From the New York Sun.
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