Wfcwy Ij'TPT'Y 1I/\Y IT TOOK A HALF-PINT SIZE
At MAIL AAA AA\A A girl to get his goat
ANOTHER ADELE HAMLIN STORY
There we.e only four things Alvin
Prescott loved: his garden, his dog, him
self, his clothes, and collecting beautiful
women—not the women but the collect
ing.
Into his life and flower garden walk
ed Midge “Half Pint”, with her flat nose
and freckles and, believe it or skippy, it
looks like a plain girl has him by the nose
for the first time.
He was tall, very tall. His skin
was soft brown. He had black, silky,
wavy hair. One of his girls said
that it felt like satin. His eyes
were a mixture of gray, blue and
blaek. Another of his girls said,
they were black when he was angry,
gray when he was pleased, and
dark blue when he was making
love.
But when one looked into his
eyes, one saw black, gray and blue.
He had a perfect nose, a nose that1
still another of his girl-friends j
called "gorgeous.” His lips—well,;
all of his many girl-friends sighed
when they thought about them and
dreamed about them at night. No
wonder they called him “Pretty
Boy.”
He was just as particular about
his clothes as a well-dressed woman.
. and he was just as well dressed. He
had twelve suits, including a tuxedo,
full dress and two pairs of white
trousers. His neckties, underwear,
shoes and shirts were uncountable.
He had five overcoats and ten hats.
Pretty Boy had enough clothes to
be a very well-dressed young man;
he intended to be a very well-,
dressed young man and he was a
very well-dressed young man. Yet,
another of his girl-friends called,
his attire “elegant.”
Of course, he was proud of his—|
he preferred t« call it—manly
beauty. He was proud to have many,
many girl-friends, and to have
many, many after him.
Collecting beautiful women was
his hobby. And these beautiful wo
men always made the first advances. |
They would look up at him and
smile. He would then go to see
them until he got tired of them,
which was very soon. Then the!
unfortunate beautiful lady would
telephone him, write him, and, if
she was bold enough, would even
go to his home to be sent away by
his aunt.
He had . othing to do with wom
en who were not beautiful. They,
poor souls, would smile up at him
because they were women. All wom
en smiled up at him.
There were exactly five things
that Alwin Prescott loved. They
were:
1. Alwin Prescott,
2. His big German police dog—
Pal,
3. His clothes, and buying more
clothes.
4. Collecting beautiful women (net
the women),
5. His flower garden.
Prescott vould get up at six,
bathe, dress carefully (white duck
trousers and a sweater), compare
his profile with that of Don Al
vado's picture—he could have
passed for his brother—slip on a
pair of gloves and go down to his
Bower garden. At seven-thirty he
would go back to his room, wash
his hands and face and dress in a
perfectly cut business suit for work.
At eight-thirty he would go down
for breakfast. Quarter to nine would
SHOULD MEN BE
CHLOROFORMED
AT FIFTY?
_ i
■
Maryland Man
States That Man
Is Just In His Prime
at Fifty
Ever since the famous Dr. Osier
asserted that at fifty a man had
outlived his usefulness and should
be chloroformed, there has been a
great deal of argument on exactly
what age a man becomes feeble
and useless.
Some men are this way at forty
two. Investigators, however, have
just discovered the case of John
Mann of Baltimore, Maryland. He
• is 55 years old and looks like a
young man in his early forties.
Hale and hearty with strong mus
cles and vigorous appetite, Mr.
Mann was just married a year ago
to a lovely woman. They are soon
to have a baby to bless their union.
“I feel sorry for some of the men
I see around me,” said Mr. Mann
on being interviewed. ‘‘Most of
them younger than I am, and com
plaining of backaches, digestive
trouble, weak vital organs, con
stipation, and heaven knows what
not! Look at me! I’m as fit now,
I believe, as when I was thirty. My
wife thinks I’m every bit as good
as any of the young bucks one sees
around. It all comes from knowing
how to take care of yourself. Nature
meant a man should be in his prime
at fifty! There’s absolutely no ex
cuse for a man losing strength at
an early age. becoming weak,
bilious, shiggsh and making things
miserable for both himself and his
family.
When asked what system he used
to keep himself so fit, Mr. Mann
replied:
“I learned years back of a famons
doctor’s prescription called Dr.
Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin. Every
man’s liver, stomach and vital
organs grow tired now and then and
need to be stimulated back to prop
er action. Aiding nature, that’s the
trick. The stimulant that always
stirred my system to new life when
I got to feeling lowr-down was
Syrup Pepsin. It always did the
work thoroughly and helped me
keep in shape the year around. I’ve
always avoided strong cathartics
and so-called blood and patent
medicines.”
Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin is
made of pure pepsin, active senna,
and fresh laxative herbs. At any
drug store, already bottled.
* " 5 • 'll*
find him back in his room taking
a last look at himself and. placing
a hat on his “satin” hair. A few
minutes later he would be speeding
to the bank in his long, low,, yellow
ear.
His Aunt Louise, who was just an
other woman to him, wondered
how he did it. Becaure he seldom
came in before one and very often
after one. But all she was to do
was attend to her sewing and her
own business. She also attended to
his business and anybody else’s
business whenever she got the
chance.
It was Aunt Louise who broke
the news to him that the sign on
the house next door was down,
which meant that the hcuse had
been rented. She had seen some
of the persons.
He looked up, interested for once
in her conversation, and asked
whether any girls were with them.
When his aunt said she had seen
none, he immediately lost all in
terest.
His aunt went on about a stout,
middle-aged lady. He was thinking
that Vashti, with the straight black,
hair and olive complexion, was
worrisome. His aunt laughed about
the short, red-brown man. He was
thinking that Deloris tried to be
cute, which was annoying. His aunt
wondered about the new people’s
curtains. He was thinking that
Valaria (pronounced Va-lay-reea)
made him sick.
me next morning nis aunt naa
more to tell, which was as equally
important. In fact, every morning
she had something to '.ell about the
new people.
Monday morning, Pretty Boy;
went through his usual routine.
He sighed happily as he looked (
it his green, velvet lawn, shrub-'
t>ery and rambling green vines. He
loved this garden almost as much
is he loved himself and Pal.
“Pal,” he said, “what a garden!”
But Pal was not looking at him.
His ears were straight up and his
nose was quivering. Presently Pres
cott saw all. A big dog had his
front feet on the tall, thick hedges
that divided Prescott’s home from
the new people’s. He was looking
at Pal sadly—as if to say, “Mug, I
pity you.” He even went farther.
He jumped down on Prescott’s fav
orite baby evergreen tree.
Prescott groaned as he would
have done had his beautiful mus
tache had been ruined. This dog
was just as large, if not larger, than;
Pal.
The two dogs went through what
dogs generally go through, then!
they began to walk around each
other and growl. The truth was, I
neither wanted to start the fight
because one was just as capable of
winning as the other.
“Get out of here,” said I*rescott.
The dog regarded Pal with a
sneer and Pal regarded him with
a sneer.
“Get out of here!” cried Alwin.
The great dog wiggled his stubly
tail and glared at Pal. Pal wig
gled his ears and glared at the
great dog. They would have gone
on like this for hours, because theyj
were proud dogs. Both had too1
much pride to stop first.
“Get out of here!” yelled Alwin,
and he picked up a rake.
At the moment he picked up the'
rake, he glanced at the tall, thick
hedges which divided his home from
the new people's. He held the rake
up and stared. Something black—it
looked like hair—was appearing. It
was an artistically marcelled black:
head and along with it appeared
a face. It was not a pretty face
because of the peculiar nose and
the freckles across it. The complex-,
ion was not brown and it was not
red. It was a mixture of red and
brown. All that Prescott could seej
was the artistically marcelled head,
the large eyes, the round mouth,
and the funny nose with the freckles
across it.
The girl’s large eyes were darting
from Prescott to the rake anl from
the rake *o the dogs. In a few
seconds she had taken in the situa-j
tion. In' another second she had
landed on Alwin’s favorite baby
evergreen tree.
Even a groan was impossible this
time. He just stared at her. She
walked stiffly over to the dogs,
caught her dog by the collar, hissed
a few sizzling words to him and
faiFly dragged him away.
She was the smallest girl he had
ever seen. She appeared smaller
t« him from his six feet and seme
“HALF PINT”
She was sensitive about her nose
and wanted no water on her hair.
thing.
Prescott found his voice.
“Hey!” said he.
She tinned slowly, every muscle
in her small body strained to hold
the dog that was not much small
er than she. She stood as still asj
she could and looked at Prescott,
out of cold brown eyes. He noticed
that she had on some cheap gar
den pajamas. It was a whole min
ute before he found out that she
was not coming to him. He finally
went over to her.
"What about my tree?” he
growled.
The girl stared ap (she had to
look a long ways) at his “satin”
hair, his eyes that were now almost
black only she could see a little
gray and blue, at ais “gorgeous”
nose, at his lips that women dream
ed about, at his perfect form—then
back at his lovely face.
"Now,” said Pretty Boy to him
self. “here comes the smile.”
The girl’s lips curled, but net for
a smile. It was not quite a sneer.
"Buy yourself another treel” she
snapped.
Prescott could not tell which he
was more surprised or angry at, her
not smiling up at him or that curt
answer she gave him.
"What?” he cried. He felt like
cursing.
The girl did curse.
"Buy yourself another damn
tree!”
She then started toward the high
hedges.
“Hey!” he shouted and ran after
her.
“Well, what do you want now?”
“Listen, you funny-nosed half
pint-”
The tiny girl went up on tip-toe,
the tiny hand went up a long ways
and landed on Pretty Boy’s creamy
colored cheek. She then walked
away and climbed over the tall,
thick hedges with a surprising
amount of dignity. She dropped
from sight. But in an instant her
face had appeared again.
“Don’t” she said, “get me hot,”
and disappeared.
"Don't,” said she, "get me hot,”
and disappeared. !
“Well, I’m a—fm a—didn’t she
have some nerve?”
He went up to his room, still
rubbing his stinging cheek. No
woman had ever slapped him be
fore. Of all the girls a half-pint
sized one had to slap him. And
she was not even impressed by his
—er—manly beauty!
He found himself wondering what
she woflld have looked like if she
had smiled up at him. She wasn’t
beautiful, so why was he thinking
about her? But wasn't he hating
her for slapping him and didn’t one
have to think about a person to
hate one?
He pushed his hat on his head
and started to the door. He changed
his mind and returned to the mir
ror and brushed his “satin” hair
again. He hadn’t had any break
fast. Slap his face, would she? He
didn’t want any breakfast. Did
she think she could slap his face
and get away with It? He would
get even with her If it took him
days and days.
Just as he was driving off from
the curve, he heard » horn. A
roadster passed him. At the wheel
sat a girl with a red beret on He
looked harder and when she looked
A TONIC Laxative
I
CONSTIPATION, with the annoy
ing symptoms that usually come
with it, cuts down organic force
and disturbs normal health and
well-being. A thorough cleansing
of the digestive tract Is of great
assistance in the removal of sick
ening constipation symptoms.
When excessive accumulated
waste matter disturbs and strains
the muscles of the large intestines,
rendering them temporarily un
able to perform their wave-Uke
evacuating movements, Thedford’e
Black-Draught is useful in stimu
lating them to activity, which,
again started, should continue
regularly until some future di»
turbance interferes. In this way,
Thedford's Black-Draught is one
of the TONIC laxatives, tending,
as it does, to establish a regular:
habit of evacuation.
_and_
your skin
in ^ time
because itfs
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iBuilMMl