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About The independent. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1902-1907 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 31, 1907)
JANUARY 31, 1907 THE NEBRASKA INDEPENDENT 13 ! MR. D00LEY ON THE ARMY CANTEEN . By F. P. "Well, Sir," said Mr. Dooley, "I seen big Doherty runnin' in a sojer today an' 'twas a fine sight, , Th' sojer was fr'm.th County Kerry an' had a thrip an' Doherty is th' champeen catch-as-catch-can rassler iv Camp Twenty eight, lie had a little th worst iv it, fr he cud on'y get a neck holt, th' warryor havin' no slack to his pants, but he landed ' him - at: last. 'Twas gr-reat to see thim doin': a cartwheel down th' sthreet." i : , ; "Was th' sojer under th' infioonce?" asked Mr. llennessy. "Ye might say he was," said Mr. Dooley. "That is, ye might say so, if ye didn't know that th' dhrink in' hab its iv'1 th' army have been rayformed. Didn't ye know they were? They ar-re. Yes, Sir. Th' motto iv our brave fel lows is now 'Away, away, th' bowl.' Tis 'Wine fr th' thrcmblin' debauchee, but water, pure water, fr me.' 'Tis 'Father, dear father, come home with me now.' An' who did it? Who is it that improves men an', makes thim more ladylike an' thin quits thim but th' ladies? This here rayform was carried out by th' Young Ladies' Christyan Timprance Union, no less. Ye see 'twas this way. F'r manny years it's been th' theery that dhrink an' iightin' wint arm-in-arm. If ye dhrank ye fought; if yo fought ye dhrank to light again. As Ilogan says, Mars, who was th' gawd iv war, was no good onless he was pushed into throuble be Barkis, the gawd iv dhrink. About th' time Mars was r-ready to quit an' go home to do th' Spring plowin' Backis handed him a jigger iv. kerosene an' says; 'That fellow over there is leerin' at ye. Ar-re ye goin' to stand that?' an' Mars bus tled in. Th' barkeeper or th' banker ar-re behind ivry war. "Well, in former times th' Govern mint kept a saloon fr th' sojers. Up at Fort Shurdan they had a ginmill where th' warryors cud go an' besot thirnsilves with bottled beer an' dom inoes. It was a tur-able sight to see thim grim heroes, survivors iv a thou sand marches through tn' damp rllj I oil xw;uvji atiuii A-siijj , uviuii these temples lv hell an' swillin' down th' hated cochineel that has made Milwaukee what It is. To this place IV ' View 111 111 till c-jrui urnuuci " Nation's honor hastened whin he had completed th' arjoos round iv his jooties, afther he had pressed th' Loo- At j. l . I - J 11.1 1 4 l'n IIIIM.UL S ClOlIlfB, lUlliru 111 horse, mended th roof iv th' Major's house, watered th' geeranyums fr th' Colonel's wife, an' written his daily letter to th' paper complain in' about th' food. Thero he sat an' dhrank an' fought over his old battles with th' cook an' recalled th' name that he give whin he first enlisted an' thried to think who it was he married , in Fort Leavenworth ontil th' bugle sum moned, him to th awful carnage called supper. "Well, Sir 'twas dhreadful. We op posed it as much as we cud. As. , a dillygate.to th' Binivolent Association iv Saloon Keepers lv America. I've helped to pass manny resolutions to save our brave boys in yellow fr'm th' insidyous foe that robs thim of what lntelliets they show be goin' into th' army. Our organ-ization petitioned congress time an' time again to take th' Government out iv this vile poor soot that was sappln th' very vitals iv our sojery. Why, we asked, shud Uncle Sam engage in this here thrafflc in th' souls lv men without payln' f'r a license, whin dacint citizens were puttin" up their good money a block away an niver a soul comin' down fr'm th' fort to be thra flicked in? Did Congress pay anny attintlon to us? It did not. "Hut wan day a comity Iv ladies fr'm th' Young Ladles' Chrlsryan Tiro pcrance Union wlnt out to th' fort. They'd seen th' Colonel at th' last p'rade n' they'd derided that, 'twas high time they distributed copies lv 'Death In th" Mottle; or, Th' Rooao. Fighter Finish,' among our fearless Kojery. Whin they not UP there they een a large bunch lv our gallant fel lows inukln' u d ah fr an uutlyln build. ny, a 1 1 a wan Iv them: 'What can they i In such a hurry fr? That must be th' chapel. Let us k hi.' An" In they wlnt lllmiissy, th tdgtit that nut tlnlr young an" unaccus tomed eves was nouKh to shock even ft lady 'lookln' fr throuble. Th' air was uray an' Mu with th' fumes lv that herjous md that bm mad man kind happy though slngto fr four hun dhcrd years, an' tint nejt to alcohol U th' vivsUrst euM lv th' sn Iv Adam. K.m lv th' dcgln'rol h tches wer I'laytiv' cards, properly called Ih' Dlwle bible; other ! Indulg In In music, that lute Iv th IMl Wan fr IdlnuHS, whlh ltll others wcro ln tint on th' futvous gumv Iv lonln-. whoe f,., t aKe hold oa hell. Hut worse. Mill worse, they saw through their ltllh i' . t.u l. s UtmmeU with DUNNE J unbidden tears. F'r in front iv each iv these war-battered vethrans shtud a, bottle, in some cases har'ly half filled with a brownish-yellow flood with bub bles on top iv It. What was it, says ye? Hardened as I am. to dhrink lv ivry kind. I hesitate to mention th' wurrud. But concealment Is useless. 'Twas beer. These brave men .em ployed by th' taxpayer iv America to defind th' hearths iv th' tax-dodger iv America, supposed to be all lv us to .have co nslcrated their lives to uphold in' th' flag, were at heart votaries, as llagon says, lv Aloes, gawd iv beer. "Fr a moment th ladies shtud dumbfounded. But they did not re main long in this unladylike attichood. Th' Chairwoman iv th dlllygation re covered, her , voice an' advancin' to'rd a Sergeant who was thryin' to skin a pair iv fours down so that it wud look like a Jack full to his ineebryatcd opponent, she said: 'Me brave man, d'ye ralize that that bottle is full lv th' Seed iv Destruction?' she says. 'I think ye'er wrong, mam,' says he. 'It's Pilsener,' he says. 'Soon or late,' she says 'th' demon rum will desthroy yo,' she says. 'Not me,' says th' vethran iv a thousand enlistments. 'I don't care f'r rum. A pleasant companyon. but a gossip. It tells on ye. Th' demon rum with a little lv th' demon hot water an' th' demon sugar is very enticin', but it has a perfume to it that is danger ous to a marrid man like mesilf. Rum, madam, is an informer. Dan't niyer niver take it. I agree with ye that it s a demon,' says he. 'Why,' said she, do ye dhrink this dhreadful poison?' says she. 'Because,' says th' brave fellow, I can't get anything sthronger with out desertin', he says. "An they wint down to Washington to see th' Congressmen. Yo know what a Congressman is. I've made a few right here in this barroom. Th' on'y thing a Congressman isn't afraid iv Is th' on'y thing I'd be afraid iv, an' that is iv bein' ' a Congressman. An' th' thing he's most afraid iv is th' ladies. A comity Iv ladles wud make Congress repeal th' ten commandments. Not that they'd iver ask thim to, Ilinissy. They'd make thim ten thousand if they had their way an' mark thim: 'F'r men on'y.' But annyhow th ladies comity wint down to Washin'ton. They'd been thero befure an' dhriven th' Demon Rum fr'm ,th' resthrant into a lair in th' comity room. A. Congressman came out, coughih' behind his hand, an' put his handkerchief into th' northwest corner Iv his coat. 'Ladies,' says he, what can I do fr ye?' he says. 'Ye must save th' ar-rmy fr'm th' malt that biteth like a wasp an' stingeth ljko an adder,' says they. 'Yo bet ye'er life I will, ladies,' says th Congress man, with a slight hiccup. 'I will do as ye desire. A sojer that will dhrink beer Is a disgrace to th American jag,' he says'.;, 'We abolished public dhrinkfn' in th' capitol,'' he says.' 'We done it to mako th' Sinitors onhappy, but thim hardened tools iv, predvtory wealth have ordhered ink wells made in' th' shape W decanters. But,4 ho says, -'th popylar branch iv th' Naytional Lig islachure is not to bo outdone. Yo see theso panels on th'" wall? I touch a button an' out pops a. bottlo iv Bour bon that wud make ye'er eyes dance. Whoop-ee!' , , . "So Congress passed, a bill abolishin' th canteen. An' it's all right now. If a sojer wants to desthroy himsilf he has to walk a block. Some lv mo en terprisln' colleagues In th business have opened places convenient to th' fort where th' bold sons iv Mars in stead iv th' corroding beer can get annything fr'm sulphuric acid to knockout dhrops. I see wan iv thim stockin' up at a wholesale dhrug storo last week. If th' sojers escape th' knock-out dhrops they como down town an' Doherty takes care lv thim. A sojer gets thirteen dollars a month, we'll say. Twelve dollars ho can de voto to dhrink an' wan dollar to th' fine. Twelve times eight hundred an' twelve times that- well 'tis no small Item in th' eoorse iv a year. Whin th' Binivolent Association lv Saloonkeep ers holds Its next meeting I'm K"lu' to proo.o to fdnd dlllygates to th' Young Ladies' Christyan Tlmpranco Union, It ought to be what th' unions call an uffllyated i a;nl.atIon." "., well." said .Mr. llcnncxsy, "they , think they're doin' what's tight." "An" they ar-re," paid Mr. Dooley. "Ye'll not find tno deflndln' th" Iv dhrink to anny man atm.s where, Tint.' no wan that's as much lv u timprance man as a man's that's lH-n In my budne fr a yar. I'd glv up all tit' run I get out lv dhrlnkln' man to scape th' thiotiMe. I ha fr'm dhrunkard. Drink's a pobln, I don't d.ny It. I'll admit I'm no betther thin an e-rdhlnry dottoi. Both U u mm something that cures yo lv th' Idee that th' p;t In In y'er rhont H pmw tnony tv th' limits, f it really H pnoo inoity y K.i off fcouiewhere tm' ll doNH an' ayether j cure yo'i rilf Iv I noomory er th" I noomony tun yi iv life. Dhrink niver made a man betther,, but it has made manny a man think he was betther. A little iv it lifts ye out iv th' mud where chance has thrown ye; a little more makes ye think th' stains on yo'er coat ar-re eppylets; a little more dhrops ye back into th' mud again. It's a frind to thim that ar-re cold to it an' an inimy to those that love It most. It welcomes thim in an' thrips thirn as they go out. I tell ye 'tis a threacherous dhrug an' it oughtn't to be given to ivry man. To get a dhrunk a man ought first to be examined ' bo his parish priest to see whether he needs it an' how it's goin' to affect him. F'r wan man he'd write on th' prescription 'Ad lib,' as Dock O'Leary does whin he or dhers a mustard plasther fr me; fr another he'd write, Three times a day at meals.' But most people ho wud den't prescribe It fr at nil. "Do I blame th' ladies? Faith, I do hot. Yo needn't think I'm proud lv me business. I on'y took to it because I am too janial to be a mechanic an' too tender-hearted, to' be a .banker or a lawyer. No, Sir, I wudden't care a Bthraw if all th' dhrink In th' wurruld was dumped tomorrah Into th' Atlantic Ocean, although fr a week or two af ther it was I'd have to get me a diving suit if I wanted to see anything lv me frinds. Booze has always been a pop'lar bivrage ' with men, but th' ladies have niver admired it much. An I don't wonder. How aften have I sat with Ilogan an' ye'ersilf an'-passed th' can an' see ye'er wife lookin' on with puzzled eyes. We'd begin perfect ly ca'm an sinsible, but about th' third dhrink some wan lv us wud make a remark that was about as funny as a coffin-plate an'' we'd burst into howls iv laughter, beat each other on th' knee, crow an' gurgle witli lh' tears runnin' down our cheeks. Th' good woman knew th' jako was not worth th' expinso iv a dhreary smile, an' 'twas not us but old King Alcohol that was yellin' at it.. Afther th' Jolly we got to th' boastful stage. Yo told how ye called Jawn L. Sullivan a loafer in th' year eighty-eight,, Ilogan admitted that whin ho was eight years old he was th' best debater-in - th' Brothers' school, an' I recited a few iv me ad vintures be flood an' field. To'rd iliven o'clock somewan mentioned th' death iv Bill Huggins, who passed away dur in'. th' Mexican War, an' we had a good weep. A little later I noticed ye were broodin' oyer something. Ye said nawthin' f'r a. while an' thin ye got up on' ast Ilogan if ho meant what he said to ye while ye were waitin' to start .on..,, th' Pat rick's , . day , ' p'rade two" years 'ago. At that th' good woman pub down her sewin' with an alarmed face an' sint ye off to bed an' th' party was over. Now what d'ye suppose ye'er wife thought about dhrink while this here game was goin' on? If ye want to know, if ye want to know why nearly all ladies ' ar'ro timprance rayformers, stay ' sober ye'ersilf some night whin ye'er frinds are makin merry. Be hlvens, whin I close up, this establish ment iv" a Saturdah tnlgt?t . after , me boon? companyons have started' '.to grope f'r, their yarchous homes, I feel like goin'. down-town an'askin' to be enrolled in the Young Ladles'. Timp rance Union. I do so.' "No, Sir, th' ladies ar're not to blame. They've always thried to rayform man, an' they haven't yet got onto th' fact that maybe he's not worth rayformin. They don't undherstan' why a man shud be allowed to pizen himself into th' belief that he amounts to some thing, but thin they don't undherstand man. They littlo know what bluff ho Is an' how 'tis on'y bo fortifyln him silf with stuff that they regard as lv no use except to burn undher a tea kettle that ho dares to go on llvin at all. He knows how good dhrink makes him look to himsilf an' ho dhrinks. They see how It makes him look to Ivrybody else, an' they want to take It away fr'm him. Whin he's Kober his bluff Is on th' outside. Whin he's t'hrunk he makes th' bluff to his own heart. Dhrink turns him Inside out as well as upside down, an' while ln's eongratulatln hlrnsllf on th fine man ho is th' neighbors know him fr a boaster, a cow'rd an' somethln' lv a liar. That th' hull, s pee an" hate. They do not know that there Is wan thing an' on'y thing to bo ald In favor lv dhrink, an' that h that It has cans, d manny a lady to bo loved that otherwise mlght've died single." "They're all right," wild Mr, lte. neMsy. "I'm against It." "Yes, said Mr. Dooley, "Anny mm Is against dhrink that's Iver been real y ttgulnit It." (CoprlKht, ISK7, by U. H. Mclurw Co., Inc.) John A. Johnson would hardly hae been governor of Mltmcrtotu hid the tate-wlde primary been l -ffst there, mo us t give, tint umjoitty party A rhiime ta nominal a mtlnfaotory candidate of it own. This may not ln tho reaon why t)enior Johntoti drs net favor the t;tewlde Ulreet prl nury. but it U worth ivntemberlnK In tht loi.uecll . Gentlemen "Supers" New York Times: Ilirr DUektor Conreld. of the - Metropolitan Opera, company prides himself that he has the most gentlemanly force of supers in the world. Among the 2."0 who take part In the opera a larga proportion are school teachers, doctors, artists, lawyers, bank clerks, undergraduates, students, and even numbers of profes sional musicians. "There Is ono thing I am glad to say," remarked Hrrr Conreld. as the supers were assembled upon the stage for rehearsal,, "and that is, you aro all gentlemen. Years ago w did not have such fine mm, and thero was more of the rougher element." The work of selecting the force bo gins early In September, An adver tls'ment is Jnserlcd in the newspapers calling for gentlemen supers. It Is surprising what a large number wish to be engaged aa supers, and Incident ally bf paid for hearing and partici pating In tho opera behind the scenes In response to his call Mr. Castel Bert, tho stage superintendent, re celves hundreds of replies, and from these he nelects the names of those summoned for personal Interview. When the work of actual selection Is completed the fortunate ones are called to rehearse their parts, At the first rehearsal the stage Is bare, chairs and chalk marks represent the position of the scenery, and the piano takes the place of the orchestra. On one occasion when the piano player was absent, Herr Conreld hlm solf supplied tho deficiency. Arm In arm with Mr. Vivian!, who had charge of the French and Italian operas, the director led the supers around tho stage, sang out the cues, and pointed out, where tha men : were , to plaoo thems' Ives ion the opening night. The recruits go through the various move ments which have to be Impressed by repetition. In sple of practice, In the beginning mistakes happen. Last season when "A Ida" was pro duced, the Rgyptlans who were carry ing the sacred bull walked all around the stage with It, and instead of re maining to the rear, occupied t lie center of the - stage, reserved for Caruso's cntran.ee.. At last they heard the shout "Cotn.a,. back!" which tho distracted manager uttered so loudly that it could almost be heard In tho orchestra. And bo, too, a groun of supers who were assigned to truard the canopy on which Caruso was born1, forgot their roloflvo nnal f Innu nn1 f'ti rnn lifnl in be content without a bodyguard on the opening night. In the last act of "Carmen" the gay Spaniards who were entering tho am phitheater to witness the bull fight made such a wide circle around the stage that they stepped all ovv.r the prompter's score, .a ltd a super .dost, his slipper in tho action. J'hjs , produced such merriment among tjurn. that, they received a chiding lecture at tho end of the act. In "Tannhauser," among 'the proces sion which . descends from th Wart burg chanting a funeral 'song over tho bier on which ' Elizabeth lies, there' a re four supers who carry candles, which they aro supposed to extinguish as Tannhnwr expires. Yet those were glowing bright at the critical moment, all because Mr. (Iroeder. who takes charge of the German operas, mpoko In German and could not be understood as ho shouted from the wings. When the supers are not engaged they have permission to co up In the 'files." Tho "files" are tw'o galleries erected on both sides of the Mage for convenience In the shifting of scenery, From this point a complete view of the stage below may be had. The oppr tunlty of listening to the opera Instead of acting Is always welcome after o long hour of standing. The supers i lamb to tho upper galietles up a inane of Hteps, They are told to icp rt again at a certain scene. All want th lst places on tho Iron frainewoik. From hero one can see the staging from which tho ropes are pulled that raUo and lower th weenie background, and from which tho limelights lla-h down upon the staye. From hL loHy pelch, seated ! a pile of ropes, the super looks blwe u thclrun Imiik, down along the vertical picture ecen. and .et n the action going on hlw wlih the privacy a bo holder, th,MiU per haps In a lUllo Ich emlab'ic uua lion. imr nupTn," explained Mr- C.isteN lien, th ugo supcilMciideiit, have the satisfaction if being participants In Ihe iqH'ia and viltUs Uah im th naiie- nlht, ! have known many of them tit becoino eupclt In Judsjtng! nlc quality merely from a landing during th tun I -?mn and Ibteidn to tho prima donna, at nidi an advant Ko as few hive." At the ilrnt end of tie wvU th. u