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Vot. XV. LINCOLN NEB., MAY 19, 1901. - No. 62'.
Speed Mosby, Prophet iFnruSSunt
(The railroad assessment In Nebras
ka this year" will be piace'd in the
neighborhood of about . $45,000,000.
Last year the total was $27,000,000.
!The Increase of $18,000,000, therefore,
represents an increase of twothirds,
or 66 2-3 per cent." .
This statement Is made- on the au
thority of a prominent delegate to the
state convention who will be a mem-
ber of the committee on resolutions
and who received his information from
Governor Mickey, . a member of the
board of equalization. -Item in Lin
coin Evening News,, Wednesday, May
18, 1904.)
Some weeks ago The Independent
. had occasion to mention editorially
Speed Mosby's book, "aen Biunt," a
. novel picturing things political in that
Royal Baking Powder state, Missouri.
It is said that denizens of that great
health resort," where alum baking
powder is much scarcer than thou
sand dollar bills, have to "be shown."
Well, Mosby has "shown" them the
Inside workings around the state
house in such inimitable style that
"Ben Blunt" would be regarded as a
classic of political literature if it were
not so painfully apparent that he's
been painting from life instead of
drawing upon his imagination.
The Independent has been watching
the proceedings before the Nebraska
state board of equalization for some
days with much interest. Tba Eireiv
uous efforts of the railroads tor ft
lowering of theSr assessment, fcnd Utt
equally strenuous efforts of theMg
republican papers to have the board
raise the railroad assessment as
viewed by The Independent are more
than half "horse-play" to fool the un
initiated and to stop the clamor for
equitable taxation. . How the farce
will end is so graphically told in the
: following quotation from "Ben Blunt"
as to need no elaboration by The In
dependent: '
CHAPTER II.
The Auditor.
No wher so besy a man as he ther
was
And yet he semed bisier than he was.
Chaucer, Canterbury Tales,
i Prologue.
Hon. William Rounder sat in his
easy chair, smoking and sweating and
puffing, and sorting his mail. He was
evidently clearing his decks for ac
tion, and his magnificent corpus of
nearly three hundred pounds pre
sented an imposing spectacle a3 he
dashed into a phalanx of some two or
three dozen letters, cutting and slash
ing them here and there, till he had
laid their inwards bare upon his desk:
incidentally pocketing the accompany
ing railroad passes, as the spoils of
battle. -!
"Oh, Sib!" he called out to Mr. Sib
ley his chief clerk, "here, take these
letters to the bond clerk, and these
others you may attend to yourself
and, say, Sib, hold on there! Sib, tell
Blunt to step here a. minute. .wont
you please, sir?" And then adding,
in an undertone, with many a fervid
sigh: "That'll leave me fully a half
dozen letters to answer. Great balls
of fire! Heavy mall, sure heavy
mail, by grit! And the board of
equTzatlon meets today, and Snyder
RAntft Fe will be here, and
Jones of the Rock Island, and Cran
dail of the C B. & Q.. and the Lord
knows who all!" t ,
"And the Lord knows ho all,
echoed Mr. Sibley.
"Was It not the poet Cong eve who
said, 'Misfortunes coiue not single
uplca. but In tatallions." queried Mr.
Blunt, good naturedly, as ho entered
the room.
"I don't car whcthn It was Lon
grcv or iMme other gud of a greve,
but tie thing that's grleUn' iuo Juivt
now In thU pila of mall.' reiotuld
the Auditor doUfuUy. "Hut," Mid
he, "we mli'.ht as U l ll ntl
tear tha bona right out o( It now. I'm
Etilng to dean up mj desk tUt morn
ing If it rot a doctors bill and a
lawimlt. Now. Mr. Iilunt. If jjuII lit
down there, pleaa sir. I'll Jaat dic
tate a fw eptntlea to the Corinthian.
Oh. Nell (thU to a acgro Janitor)
bring ni a drink of water, won't you
Ida?" Nwl omUed out ftnd toon
reutrned with a gourd-dipper full of
the cooling liquid.
"Ah-h-h! Mighty thin, Ned," said
the Auditor, as he gulped it down.
"Yes, sah, 'deed it is, boss,-but it's
de bes' you kin expect out'n dat Put
nam county goad dippah."
. In his office Mr. Rounder never kept
a glass for drinking purposes. He
thought the gourd would be more
popular with his country constituency.
And so It was; and the people went
home and talked about the uncontami-
nated democracy of plain Billy Koun
der. who drank his ice-water out of
a gourd.
Mr. Blunt had picked up a morning
paper in the meantime, and was
glancing over the head-lines.
The Auditor settled his avodiiiois
back into ms chair and was manliest
ly preparing for another exertion.
."Now, Benjamin," said he, "my fel
low Christian traveler to the judg
ment bar o God, when you come to a
period, we'll get ready to proceed
Whet up your pencil there, and we'll
send in a few lines to the Epheslans.
Ready?" .
Mr. Blunt 'said that he was.
"I'll declarer ' said the Auditor ex
citedly, "L aimed to get my beard de
capitated as I came tmouh lon this
morning. Now, let's see. The board
meets at ten, don't It. The sun, moon
and stars may vary, but we never do.
Well, I'll have time. Take this letter
first. Are you ready?"
' The secretary again responded that
he was.
Mr. Rounder then grasped a letter
to which he intended to dictate a re
ply, first trying to tead it upside
side, and then inside out. roaring at
the same time, in a voice loud enough
to fairly shake the frundatlons oi the
capital, a couplet from his favorite
"The mother was , changTier son
-. round the room ; :
Chasing her son round the room." .
At last finding the address he so
violently . sought, exclaimed:
"Let 'er go, Blunt. Oh, yes, I
didn't give you tbe adaress," did I?
Ready? ' . "
Mi Blunt again said that he was
teady, and the dictation began:
"Dear Mr. Ctodgett:
"Hold on, there, Ben! wait a min
ute; tear that up. Now, ready?"
,And then, after taking another deep
breath, an- expression of determina
tion in his face, and with the air of
a strong man about to run a race, he
gathered his wits . for a supreme ef
ui t, and dictated, without a struggle,
the following letter:
"Hon! J. H. Clodgett, Gen. Sol. Wa
bash R'y Co., St. Louis, Mo. Pear Mr.
Clodgett: Yours of the 13lh ImsL re
ceived, containing pass from here to
Buffalo and return for myself and 26
friends, for which please accept
thanks. I await an opportunity to
reciprocate.' Command me at your
pleasure. With every assurance of my
high regard fci y0u.. personally, I am.
your friend, WM. ROUNDER."
And then, with a final gasp, he ex
claimed: "Hold up, there Bon! don't
rut the signature on; I'll sign it my
self." So saying, he sank back into
his chair, from sheer exhaustion, and
!iguid a fre-sii cigar. , . . ;
AJtti an Interval o recuperation he
again turned to his secretary, declar
ing, as he tossed tho remaining letters
over to Mr. Blunt, .
"Now, Ben, I must have m beard
amputated, aud you can look after
this mall as wei, as 1. There's ouo
t l.i IP from the Friscolook that up
ior him. and gtvd"him what Le wants;
and hero's a blamed fool wanting to
know something about taxing fran
chises sa high m farm landa you'd
better refer him to the attorney gen
eral aud, hold ou; wa.t a minute; 1
wih you would il'tuo acknowledge
eeelit ui that frank from the Wells
I aim and thank Mm for It; nd then
Juist drop littl not to tho Wntrrn
Union, and enrltwa m my empty
rotnpltmrntary utatnp tMwk, and ak
'rni to replenish It f f me won't you,
pleas, Kir? Now you attend to that,
Hen, and I'll make Xhm ruler over
many cltlnr. I've rt to eo and get
my banl pruned a lltl! aj tl ilr.
Snyder or any of them come in, just
tell 'em I'll be back directly.
- With these few parting observations
he waddled off.
Mr. Rounder was not a bad man at
heart. He was a lover of good-fellowship,
and was himself the prince of
good fellows.
He was the son of a preacher a
Baptist and a Virginian of the old
school but he rarely attended church
as often as once In a month, and now
bore small indication of his early re
ligious training, except such scant In
dicia as might be gleaned from his
ludicrous Biblical references and quo
tations. JHe had always been some
what of a rake, and naught but Jhe
expected happened when he was trans
mogrified into a politician. He went
from bad to worse, and from worse
to politics.
- As auditor of the state he had gath
ered about him a corps of assistants
wholly to his liking, excepting two.
The political views of Mr. Blunt were
entirely too radical, and those of Mr.
Sibley altogether too slippery. But
both Mr. Sibley and Mr. Blunt, the
one as his chief clerk and the other
as his private secretar, had possibly
acquired more knowledge about the
inner workings of the administration
of Mr. Rounder than that gentleman
cared to have made public, so he made
swift to .endure what could' not be
altered, grunting and puffing his life
comfortably away, and accumulating
fat and fees as he went rolling and
lolling along. "
"Sib," said he, "when I stepped into
the gilded palace of sin around the
corner to get me something cool, the
gentleman in , the white apron in
formed me that a fellow had just been
In there whd ' was going to make ? a
talk to the board this morning against
Mr. Snyder and -Mr. Ciahdall and' all
of them, and, try to get us to raise the
assessments ' on franchises; says he
represents some kind of a People's
Welfare Society, or some such fool
thing or other now wouldn't that
singe your eyebrows?"
"It certainly would," was the prompt
reply.
"But say, Sib; we oughtn't to listen
to that fellow's talk tryin' to drive
capital out of the state. Why, if we
should listen to that dumb fool, we
might turn Mr. Jones and Mr. Snyder
and all of 'em against the party.":
"He must not be heard," said Sibley.
"But we've got to hear him, Sib."
"He must be heard," said Sibley.
' "Hold on there a minute," the per
plexed statesman suddenly exclaimed,
"here comes Mr. Snyder now; we'll
just talk to him about it." '. ' '
At that moment a tall, elegant look
ing gentleman, with a pleasant face
and a merry, twinkling eye, walked
briskly into the room, and the robust
Auditor sprang joyously to his feet,
with rather more alacrity than might
have been xpected, considering hl3
weight. "Why how are you, Co'001!
how are you," said he; "how's every
sixteen foot of you? Be seated, Col
onel, be seated." . v
"How have you been, Billy," the
brevetted Colonel Inquired. - 1
"Oh," responded the Auditor with
a heavy sigh, "I've been keeping on
tho reservation pretty wclk. I , thank
you treading the winepress alone,
Colonel tramping out the vintage of
the Lord at the same old stand; ach
ing a bit at tho elbows and knee-caps,
though. But I'm able to tit up a lit
tle, and take nourishment."
And Mr. Sibley wlncd with pain,
at thought of the aching knets-caps
and elbows.
"Gout, ch? lllr.li living. I suapect.?
"No. no; "tlsu't that. Colonel.
'Tian't my homely faro that's troubling
me., I can't account for It at all. un
Ichji It come from sitting In damp
churches, and entlni? lata meals o'
Sunday, caused by listening to long
Mrmont. I tuppo you know, Cd
unel. there'i A fellow up hero trying to
give ua trouble about the asaeaanienU
today."
Th 'colonel" had heard of it: had.
In fact, ben observing th movement
(or touo time, and tu sow prepare!
to relieve the strain upon the mind
of the worthy Auditor. ; ,
"Yes," said he, "I've heard of it"
And closing one eye significant he
sat there like a cycla xfjr essae mo
ments. ; ... .. . ..... " ..
"I have had a talk witi the oCr
solicitors and some of their tax ibn
missioners and the heads of tSw) de
partments, and we have about con
cluded to give those franchise agita
tors a compromise. It isn't well, you
know, to antagonize those people too
much; public sentiment is a tri?;3
against us now, anyway. We realize,
of course, that public patronage cre
ates to a certain extent our franchise
values, and if we go to acting ugly
those cranks may conclude to absorb
the whole business, , and we don't
want to have rouble with them Just
now. In short, we are prepared to
consent to an increase In our assess
ments nowand there will, of course,
be no trouble in reducing themy'whea
this absurd sentiment begins to wane.?
"I believe you are right, Colonel,"
said Rounder.
"You are right, Colonel," echoed Mr.
Sibley.
The board met in due time, and
concluded its deliberations. Next
morning the papers told, in glaring
head-lines, of its patriotic work:
"Corporation Assessments Raised
Many Millions Hon. Wm. Rounder
Strikes a Blow for the Common Peo
pleAdvocates Franchise Taxation
Board's Action Largely, Due to Him.'
And' the People's Welfaie league wired
Mr. Rounder its vote of thanks.
Mi. Rounder sat In his easy chair,
and grunted and smoked and smiled,
"That was a good day's work we did
yesterday, Ben," said he to his pri-
vate - BBCTetttryiw ' '
.Yes, yes, , it was," cMr. Blurt
thoughtfully replied; very thoughtful
ly, for he was thinking of what Lin-'
coin said about the impossibility, cf
fooling all of the people all of , the
time, and was trying to determine to '
his own satisfaction whether Honest
Abe was really dishonest, or simply
misinformed.
- " t
He Denies It
Editor Independent: 1 see your pa
per is reiterating the statement oiig
inating in the Des Moines Register
and Leader that I was instrumental
with my influence in urging Governor
Shaw to issue a parole to a convict.
Kindly give space to the accompany
ing enclosure which was addiessed to
the Register to set it right.
j Thanking you in advance, sincerely,
VICTOR ROSE WATER.
Omaha. Neb.
Omaha, Neb., April 29, 1D04. To tho
Editor of The Register, Des Moines,
la. Dear Sir; Your story, based upoa
a partial exhibit of documents on tite
in the governor's office, makes out
that I exerted my influence with Gov
ernor Shaw to procure a parole for
Sherliffe, the prisoner convicted for
the Pollock diamond robbery.
I do not know anything of Shcrcllffj
except by hear-say and have navcr
had any Interest in his liberation. It
seems that a letter of introduction
given fcy me in 18(J to Chief of Polio
Whlto was presented by him to Gov
ernor Shaw when he called on aa er
rand in behalf of Shcicllffe If yoq
had printed this letter It would b
seen that it Is no moie than a per
functory letter of Introduction such r3
any business man gives to a friend ev
ery week In tho year. The letter redj
as follows:
"Omaha, Neb., May 15, l8D3.-tlon.
Leslie M. Khaw, Covet nor of lows.
Den Moines, ta. My Iear Sir: Thi
will" Introduce to you Mr. Martla
White. Omaha's eHkleut chief of po
ller, ho has som business to trans
act in the Iowa capital. Any favora
you may show him will b greatly tp
predated. Very tiuly your.
VICTOR KOiiKWAinU,
Managing Editor."
At the tlm this letter wai wrltlo
I tud no knowlcdfA what sort cf t'ii
tncaa railed Chief Y.'hlU to lio
