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About The Wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-???? | View Entire Issue (Oct. 14, 1910)
THE VALUE OF
By JOHN K. WETHERELL
Copyright, 1910, by American Press
'' "My sou," said Mr. Fairchild of the
.great publishing house of Fairchild &
Co., "I think I see in you a very dan
': "In what respect, father?"
: "I fear you have literary ta'stes."
"But, father, I thought you were
' Tery proud of my literary success at
V "Proud of it yes, but since you are
A At- 1 t J I. f . 1 .
iu iaKe my uiuce in iuis uusiness a
consider it a dangerous gift."
"I don't believe it"
"Unfortunately old people cannot
-transmit their experiences to the
young. -You will have to pay to learn
what I tell you. Just as you will have
to pay for books containing in them
selves large advertisement."
I The "next day -Mr. Fairchild died of
apoplexy, and his son, who had had
six months' experience in the business,
took his place. The young publisher
determined to test his "readers." While
in college he had written a novel of
University life, , Calling his manager of
' the department for examining manu
scripts Into his private office, he hand
led him a package and said:
" "Mr. Burton, there is a manuscript
written by myself. Give it to the
readers, keeping the authorship a se
cret, and when the reports are all in
let me have them."
., Mr. Burton took the manuscript and
.'retired. In a week be laid the reports
ueiure me ueuu ui lue urui. r uircuuu
'read. them, threw them in the waste
basket, tapped a bell and recalled Bur
"Mr. Burton," he said, "we must re
organize -our corps of readers. I find
It impossible to get an honest opinion
.on my own manuscript. If I as head
of the firm can't do. this, how can I ex
Ipeet to get at the merit of the manu
scripts of others? That novel of mine
Is a Juvenile production of no value
Whatever, and yet not a single reader
Lhas condemned it."
There was trouble among the read
ers. most of them receiving their dis
charge., A year passed, and the cir
cumstance, though not forgotten,
ceased to, be. a terrible remembrance.
All was running smoothly-in the pub
lishing house of Fairchild & Co. when
one day a manuscript novel was sent
In by express. It was started through
the readers' mill, but got no further
than the "weeder," whose duty it was
to eliminate all manuscripts that were
tint- wnrfh Darlnna r-nilnrnHnn Tf nrna
returned to the author, who again ex
pressed it to the firm with a note stat
ing that the name attached to it was
. fictitious and hinting that it was by an
author of reputation. This insured its
being thoroughly examined, but it was
again returned, notwithstanding the
.hint, the readers assuming that the
author had used a very commonplace
device to secure attention. A few days
after the second return the chief of
readers was called into Mr.- Fairchild's
office. The rejected manuscript lay on
. "Mr. Burton," said the head of the
firm, "that manuscript was prepared
expressly under my direction. It is
one of Edgar , Allan Foe's longest sto
i rles, with names and incidents substi
tuted so as to partly conceal the au
thorship and hot in-the least to de
jtract from its literary value. You will
please discbarge all your readers. I
I . A 1.1 msimnW' ntkA
doesn't know the meanlngj)f the word
literature. She wiTl hereaffeTTreaa the
manuscripts of fiction, and we will be
guided by her reports. My father be
fore he died told me that I must learn
by experience. I am learning, but I
still feel that I have a great deal to
The firm of Fairchild & Co. contin
ued to publish fiction with varying
success. One day the head of the firm
called for Mr. Burton and said to him:
"This manuscript novel was left here
by Agnes Darlington, whose 'Desert
ed Wife' we published last season and
which, has had, as you know, a very,
large sale. It was not the best seller
of the season, but came very near be
ing such. This manuscript is by Miss
Darlington's grandmother, who has
been bedridden for twenty years. I
have looked it over and.found it worth
less. But we cannot afford to offend
Miss Darlington, who is to give us an
other novel in a few months and
which the Clymers are endeavoring to
get away from us. This thing, 'A Life
of Ease,' must be published to prevent
the Clymers getting ahead of us. We
will lose something on it, but make a
large sum on Miss Darlington's new
Mr. Burton retired with the manu
script. "A Life of Ease", was issued
In as inexpensive form as the Fair
childs dared publish it without giving
offense to its invalid author and her
granddaughter. The first edition was
exhausted and another put forth. This
failed to satisfy the growing interest
in the book, and one edition after an
other was given to the dealers. At the
end of the season when the records of
sales were figured up "A Life of Ease"
was found to be the second best seller.
When this fact, was announced to the
bead of the firm he tapped his bell for
Mr. Burton and when that gentleman
arrived said to him:
"Mr. Burton, you will discharge our
regular reader and put the porter in
"But the porter can't read, sir."
"So much the better. Hire some on
to read the manuscripts to him."
tail, merry hunter, flying chaff, "dol
phin about to die. thundercloud, inno
cent infant, caterpillar brown, fading
hope, Cinderella russet, smoke of Ve
suvius.' penitent hermit, dissolving
pearl, Cupid's feather, captain's glory,
beautiful savage, ambushed wild
beast, rose of Eden, faithful shepherd,
weary traveler's shoe, agitated nymph
and dream of the beloved one pink.
SLIPS IN WRITING.
The Only Trouble.
School Visitor I hear, my good wo
man, you have a case of somnambu
lism in your family. Perturbed Moth
er 'Tain't no sech thing, ma'am. We
ain't never had one of them ketching
things here. The only trouble is that
Mamie walks in her sleep. Baltimore
All Shell and No Kernel.
Charley My friends tell me that I
have all the eccentricities of genius.
Beatrice What a pity It is, Charley,
that you have not got the genius itself!
CURIOUS COLOR NAMES.
There Was Once an Extensive Group
of Flea Shades.
"Puce," which was for a long time
the name given an exceedingly popular
hue, is when translated from the
French simply "flea." It appears that
the accidental admission of a flea at a
court festivity in France and the sub
sequent discovery and capture of the
uninvited guest gave rise to a host of
jokes and anecdotes, and so a new. col
or was jocularly named in the insect's
honor. Indeed, there was an extensive
group of flea shades old flea, young
flea, flea's foot, lively flea and others.
Puce, which was a kind of drab, Is
still familiar to the reading public
through Its frequent mention in litera
ture, drama and letters of noted per
sonages in the past.
Few of us, however, know anything
of the following colors, each of which
was a favorite in its day and as fa
miliar to the' speech of fashionable la
flies and gentlemen as, are the cerise,
old rose, etc., of bur own time. Here
is a little list of them:
Marathon blue, drooping poppy, green
of the Oreadsi triumph - 'ctf-Aspasia.
robe of Venus, bridal blusb.jcanary's
Curious Blunders Made by Reporters
Every once in awhile some school
teacher comes forward with a list of
ludicrous mistakes made in composi
tion by her infant charges. The fol
lowing laughable "breaks" were not
made by school children, but by news
paper reporters and correspondents..
Writing is their business, but they
often make ridiculous mistakes in the
haste of "catching an edition."
In a story about a mad dog scare on
Stat en Island the reporter wrote, "Po
liceman Jones drove the dog into am
bush and killed it."
The head of a prominent Wall street
house, in telling about the action of
the directors of a certain company,
was quoted as saying, "It came like
a cannon ball out of a clear sky."
The report of the result of a damage
suit: "Carmini Carusini was awarded
a verdict of $2,000 for injuries receiv
ed by the jury from the Erie Railroad
This from a Brooklyn reporter: "He
tried to end bis life by suicide."
This one might have been due to an
error in typewriting: "The girl was af
filiated with typhoid fever."
A correspondent in a small town on
Long Island, evidently laboring under
great excitement, wired, "Mrs. George
K. Blank was the heroine of the holo
caust." (She played a garden hose on
a burning barn.) In further describing
the blaze he said, "The flames swept
into furious environment." New York
How Eggs Are Hatched In China.
There is in China a curious method
of hatching eggs. First the eggs are
1 placed in tiers in a large basket, twice
the size of an ordinary barrel, which is
. thickly lined with bay and carefully
' closed from the air by a tight fitting
cover of twisted straw. In three days
time the eggs are taken out and re
placed in a different order, those at
the surface being put in the lower tier.
This is repeated every third day for a
fortnight, when the eggs are removed
from the basket and placed on a shelf
In another room, being carefully cov
ered with bran. In a day or two the
chickens chip the shells' and make
their appearance into the world. The
success of this method is attributed to
the fact that the animal heat' of the
egg, being retained by " the basket,
which Is formed of material not con
ducting caloric, is sufficient to support
animal life and develop it Detroit
hatched"a swan's egg arid" how the
cygnet was jeered at by his putative
brethren, the ducklings, until one day
a troop of lordly swans floating down
the river saluted him as one of their
race. "Ah." observed Bismarck, "it
was a long time before my poor moth
er could be persuaded that in hatching
me she had not produced a goose."
Mrs. IUcbleigh (scornfully) I wish
you had more brains, Ferdinand, in
stead of so much money. Ferdinand
(unmoved) I did once, dear, but it
took all of them to get the money.
The manly part is to do with might
and main what you can do. Emerson.
Danced In Court.
An unusual scene was once witness
ed in a French law court, the civil
tribunal at Nantes. The proprietor of
a local theater had engaged a young
lady dancer, whose performances at
rehearsals did not come up to his ex
pectations. He therefore would not
let her appear, and the fair daucer
took notion against him for breach of
contract. The defendant alleged that
she had not even learned the first
steps of her art. and. here being a plain
issue, the judge determined to decide
for himself. A space was accordingly
forthwith cleared on the floor of the
court, and in these unusual surround
ings the young lady duly went through
her steps and pirouettings. in the re
sult the judge felt justified in certify
ing that she was quite an expert dan
cer and decided the ease in her favor.
Henceforth she advertised herself as
the only dancer in the country with a
legal certificate of proficiency. -London
Poets and Dogs.
I'oets have always loved dogs. In
this poets and boys resemble each oth
er. Walter Savage Landor-was.de-voted
to his dog (Jiallo and Byron's
epitaph upon his dog Boatswain we all
To mark a friend's remains these stones
I never had but one. and there he lies.
Cowper was very fonJ of his tlojr.
and we-know how Charles Lamb.' who
was a prose poet. loved, his Dash and
how Mrs. Browning appreciate! the
little Flush to whom she indited a
poem. The Karl of Shaftesbury kept
his noble collie in his library with him
at all times and Samuel Itogors al
ways walked out with his dog. Scott
declined an invitation to dinner .when
his dog died, saying that he could not
accept on account of. the "loss of an
old friend." -St. 'James' Gazette.
Thought Once Was Enough.
j The Sunday school lesson was from
that Scripture which teaches that it
' your brother strikes you on the cheek
you should turn the other also and
! endure even for seventy times seven.
I TAl.. VnA 4-n Vila
very attentively while she emphasized
this fact, and after the lesson the su
perintendent rose to make a few re
marks. "Now. boys." she said, "how many
times ought another boy to strike you
before you hit him back?"
"Just about once!" promptly answer
ed Johnny. Judge.
' . Ths Cassowary.
' The cassowary is a'" natural boxer
land the only bird, except perhaps the
j ostrich, whose method of defense and
'attack in -warfare is the forward kick
'straight out. like a man is 'calculat
ed to arouse envy in the brcasl of any
vtwv a crack athlete. Another pecu
fiarily of this bird is his ability to per
forin a sort of war dance over any
particular object, a bit of rag. a stick
or a stone, that attracts his attention.
A Bismarck Story.
Lord Ampthill once found Bismarck
reading Andersen's story on the "Ugly
Duckling," which relates bow. a duck
Varied Views of Marriage.
Marriage is a lottery to the bachelor.
n. urgent necessity in the opinion of
the widower, a delightful temptation
to t lie widow, a habit witli a god
ma uy . Lou is v i lie Cou rier-j oi i r n a I .
A Good Talker.
Yeast Did you ever have the acous
tic properties of your house tested V
Crimsonbeak Oh. yes; my wife Is test
ing them all the time. Yonkers States
No man sympathizes with the sor
rows .of vanity. Johnson.
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