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About The Wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-???? | View Entire Issue (June 3, 1910)
Married by Accident A Man Wins a Wife by Getting Into ' the Wrong House. By REGINALD D. HAVEN Copyright. 1910. by American Press Association. On street is a block of ten bouses, every bouse exactly like every other bourn. 1 once lived in one of these bouses, uud I never went hoine but I rau a risk of getting into the wrong bouse. In the fourth bouso was a young lady whose appearance I especially ad mired. 1 considered her very pretty, and she was certainly very stylish. "Now, thafs Just the girl 1 would like for a wife," I used to say when I saw her going into or coming out of her home. One afternoon I went home, 'and, finding the front door ajar, I walked In. put uiy hat and overcoat in the hall closet and went upstairs to a sitting room on the second floor. The room was shut in by brick walls, uud 1 sel dom sat there without turning on the light Being tired, I threw myself Into an easy chair and. closing my eyes, sat thinking on a matter of business that had occurred during the day. Present ly, hearing a footstep and looking up. I saw a woman's figure standing in the doorway. There was not enough light to distinguish who she was. but 1 was not long kept In Ignorance. She press ed a button beside the door, and a bright electric light showed me the girl who lived two doors from nie. "How Is this?" I stammered. "Have 1 got hi to the wrong house?" "I expect you have." replied the girl. "Pardon me. I assure you I had no Idea I'm very careless." At that moment I heard the front door close. The girl heard it, too, and changed countenance. , "Good gracious, my aunt!" she ex claimed. "Well?" "It is very unfortunate your being here. She Is a very suspicious wo man." "I see. It would grieve me terribly to have ber think" "Dear me, she's coming up here!" "Can I get out without meeting herr "No. Go In there." She shut me up In a large closet, and the next minute 1 heard the harsh voice of an old woman In the adjoin ing room. "Lois." she said severely, "that young man you admire so much who lives in this block is In this house. 1 was sit ting In Mrs. Deacon's window, next door, and saw him come up and walk In at the front door. What are you doing In this room with all this light turned on?" "Why, Aunt Jane, you must be mis taken." "Mistaken! Do you think 1 haven't eyes? Oh, heavens, Lois! Can It be possible that you are are a wicked. bad girl? Upon my word. I believe you are biding a lover. I'm going to have a look." She made for the only place In the room possible for concealment the closet and had her band on the door knob when 1 heard a slight scuffle, and the young lady said: "Aunt Jane, before you open that door 1 wish to say something to you. I have been deceiving you. 1 have been wooed and won clandestinely by the young man you have referred to. Qe la In that closet." 1 must hasten to protect the honor of one I bad compromised by my stupid ity. I flung open the door, put my arm around the girl who had been driven to this falsehood, threw back my bead proudly and Bald dramatically : "No power on earth shall separate me from my wife." "Well. I declare!" exclaimed the old lady. My reputed wife burled her face in her hands, whether because the seri ousness of the matter had occurred to her or whether to conceal laughter at Its absurdity I did not know. "Do you mean to say." continued the old lady to me, "that you are married to my niece?" There would be no use in mincing matters. I swore that I was her niece's husband. "And you, Lois," continued the aunt "are you really married to him?' A famt "Yes" came from under the girl's bands. "Well, well, well! How you two young people could have done your courting without my finding you out la remarkable. How did you manage nr "Love laughs at locksmiths," I said knowingly, not having any explanation ready. "I should think so," said the aunt Impressively. "How long have you been married?" ' I didn't dare risk an answer to this question, fearing to be caught In a trap. I threw the burden on my bride. "Lois, dear," I said, "tell your aunt all about It She will be more forglv lag at getting the story from one she loves. Or would you prefer sitting down with her alone and talking it all over with her?" "I think I would like to have a little time," stammered Lois faintly. "And I think 1 want the whole story this minute," cried the aunt. "Had I not better withdraw?" I sug gested. I was beginning to get very hot In the face. Confound these houses built In blocks! I'll never live In one gain! answer would be less likely to sink us eeper iu the mire. It occurred to her that if she said we had just leon mar ried the result iu the end would lie less compromising, so she told her aunt that we had been married that day at noon. She hit upon this hour because he had been away from home at that time. Then her aunt asked if we had been married by a clergyman. Lois, reading that the old woman would lounee on the dominie, told her that we had been married by a justice of the pence. "A justice of the peace!" exclaimed the old lady contemptuously. "Do you call that a marriage? I shall telephone for our own rex-tor at ouce. If you can't be married respectably you shall nt least be married religiously." She was making for the telephone. We both clutched her. "Madam," I cried, "permit me to say word. I beg of you to leave me and my your niece alone together for awhile that we may talk' this matter over. These unconventional marriages are liable to bring a stain upon the parties concerned. You certainly don't wish your niece to suffer In that way. do you? Give us an hour to decide as to when and how we shall publish our union to the world." With a suiiT the old lady bounced out of the room. The girl and I looked at each other. We would have laughed, but the affair was far too serious for mirth. You've got me into a terrible pic kle," said Lois, much irritated. "I? I ask a thousand" "Why did you say we were married? only said we were engaged. There was a retreat from that. There is none from marriage." An engagement doesn't warrant a girl having a lover in a closet." "I don't suppose it does." "Marriage is the only thing that will excuse that." Cut how are we going to get out of it?' 'Can't you confess the whole thing? It's a splendid joke, awfully funny. Hasn't your aunt any sense of hu mor?" About as much as a cat has of poetry." "What do you suggest?" "I cau't think of anything unless I do as you say confess but that would be the same thing as acknowledging criminality. Aunt Jane would never believe anything else." Then you can't get out of it with out being smirched, at least to your aunt?" No, and she can never keep the se cret. Others will know it. It will go everywhere. What shall I do?" She wrung her hands. "There's another trouble in the way." I said. "She asked each of us if we admitted we were married. That in the presence of a witness makes us man and wife." "Oh, my goodness gracious!" There was a silence, at the end of which I said: I'm responsible for all this. Now let me make an admission. I have seen and admired you before, and 1 have said to myself. 'That's a girl 1 would like for my wife.' 1 heard your aunt refer to me as a person you had" she bung her head "bad admired. Now, suppose we let the matter rest, pledg ing your aunt to keep our secret till we can determine what we wish to be the outcome of this singular adventure. I will keep my home: you can keep yours. If we decide not to be man and wife we can find some way out of it with your aunt. If we wish to be mar ried we can have a more pretentious ceremony than the one just perform ed." We filled up the hour deliberating. but found no better plan than this. Then we rejoined Aunt Jane, and I acted as spokesman. Aunt Jane." 1 said "I presume I may now call you aunt I admit that 1 have done very wrong in hurrying your ulece into a secret marriage, es pecially since my affairs are not just now in a condition that will enable me to take care of a wife In the style to which she has been accustomed. 1 ask a short time in which to get them in such condition, and 1 shall then ac knowledge the marriage. As for my self. 1 would be willing to do this now. but Lois, whom we both love and whose reputation we are both bound to protect, thinks that we had belter wait awhile, then announce an engagement and after a brief one celebrate a mar riage without saying anything about the oue that has occurred. Meanwhile I ask permission to visit my wife just as I would visit her with your permis sion to win her. 1 should have taken this course before. The strength of my love for her is my only excuse for not doing so. 1 am convinced that If she turns out to be as estimable a laay as her aunt 1 shall have won a treas ure.1 Aunt Jane gave me reason to be nroud of myself for this speech by saying that it was never too late to do the right thing and she hoped I would prove myself as worthy as my worus indicated. I kissed the old lady at my depar ture, and my wife followed me to the door for the ostensible purpose of re ceiving a marital salute. 1 offered to avail myself of the opportunity, but Lois drew back I then returned to my own home. having been in the wrong house an hour and a half, during which 1 had married a wife to whom I had never before spoken a word and had concil iated her guardian I was not long winning my wife's consent to a public engagement and soon got my affairs in shape for a pub lic wedding. When we entered the church there was not a person present who know that the union of the con trading parties occurred from the groom having got into the wrong WOULD BE MISTAKE. An Expert Says Unpaid Commission Would Be Sheer Folly. "Divided responsibility is the curse of American politics," said John Z. White to an Evening News reporter last Saturday. "Instead o electing men to hire your experts, elect the experts. The essence of the commis sion form is the fixing of responsi bility. If you are elected commis sioners and hire me as an expert and something goes wrong, who is going to be held responsible by the people that hired you? You will promise to investigate just as the municipal of ficers of today do, and we get no where. You say that the advocates of the unpaid commission point to the school board, which hires its expert, as an example. The school board is an unnecessary wheel. Elect your ex pert and hold him responsible ff-r your school system. The beauty of the new system is that it makes tb3 official directly responsible; he can not shift and evade responsibility. "Lincoln will be making a big mis take if it adopts that idea, it is flying in the teeth of experience everywhere else. The swing of the cities of the country today is towards the com mission form of government and ds rect legislation, and it is a mistake to halt now to try experiments. Take ad vantage of the wisdom gained by the the experience of others." GENERAL MENTION. Bright Bits Deftly Swiped From Trie Portland Labor Press. "The Standard Oil crowd" are said to be the American Tobacco trust, the smelter trust, the transportation trust, and the beef trust. Organized labor must hike for the ballot box, or the combine will grab that. Some i"i dications that the United States gjv- ernment is owned by the trusts. To secure better prices for their milk, Massachusetts farmers went en strike and the legislature has an ir vestigation committee out to report next year. Investigation committee are so helpful. As a union buster the Leiter mil lionaire is a failure. This Chicago grain gambler lost two millions run ning an open shop coal mine. Then he quit. He violated the laws of tnj state, and ran a cross between a pen itentiary and a military prison with guards, dead lines, cells for Lhe free' workmen and rules of conduct. His mine is now strictly union. District councils of the Carpenters in San Francisco and Oakland have declared the Hearst papers unfair aad will ask the American Federation of NO MORE-NO LESS Why?jg& Suit cut to fit your form. All wool fabrics; hand tailored to perfection. A genuine hair cloth front makes it double sure that your coat will hold its shape. A wonderful sys tem of centralized mills, tailor shops and widely scattered stores, makes it possible make you a suit to order for $15.00. Trousers to order, $5.00. I H Scotch Woolen m I I Mills UNION TAILORS 133 South 13th St. J. H. McMULLEN, Mgr. Auto. 2372 BeU 2522 CUT GLASS in the Labor to authorize a boycott on them. They have always been union shops and" paid union wages or more. The trouble comes from the lockout of un ion miners in Homestead. It is doubt ful if a boycott will be indorsed. Scientific inspection shows that 28 per cent of the tenement house chil dren in New York have tuberculosis in some form. Congressman Miles Poindexter has written the Central Labor Council at Spokane that the demands of the striking steel workers in Pennsylvania are just and that the government should boycott the trust by dovflg steel work in its own yards. At New Castle, Pa., the steel trust continues to persecute the editor of the workingman's paper there, tne FTee Press. Editor McKeever is a member of the city council, and ex ceedingly pestiferous. The trust hopes to railroad him to the pen, or induce him to leave the state. , Sawdust pudding and coffee Post has brought suit for damages to the sum of $50,000 against the Typograph ical Journal, published by the Inter national Typographical Union. When he gets through he will have a deep feeling of consanguinity for the griz zly bear that tackled a buzz-saw. In Spokane the Building Trades have put three real estate firms aad 1$ You will find in Z See Sunday's Journal and Star 7 for particulars prominent makes of Shoes, for Men and Women, bearing the "Union Label," and which we recommed as highly dependable. We mention these below particularly: SANDERSON'S CQ Cl Cvf fin SPECIALS, $j.5U f)4.00 and Sanderson's Jolt-Less Shoes, that are Union-made Goods. MILLER & PAINE The Greatest History of Our a contractor on the unfair list for building installment bouses on subur ban tracts, with unfair workers and materials. There is some talk of th-3 real estate man seeking protection for their operations through the courts. Hereafter all the uniforms of the Vancouver, ' B. C. police and" firemen must have the union label. It is said that President Taft is backing a bill to give eight hours to all government employes on dredge and tugboats. In Denver any union man seen to patronize an unfair establishment of any kind is reported to the Union La bel League. The name of the inform er is not made public, but must ac company the letter. The matter is in vestigated and if found true the name of the man or woman is reported to his or her respective union.' The ef fect is remarkably prompt and prac tical. Organized labor In Nova Scotia is demanding a law compelling employ ers to recognize unions and to treat with them In labor disputes. Lumbermen and millmen in Eureka, Cal., recently refused almost to a man to turn out for a political par ade, although the mill owners shut down to permit the men to inarch. The Union Iron works of San Fran cisco has given notice of intention to our stock several jt pW0RKERS UNI0N If rf' ALE I S Store return to the nine-hour day upon the expiration of the present agreement to establish the eight-hour day ; on June 1. The men are now Working eight and a quarter hours. Suitcase strikers in New York. City pull in a few more factories every week. ... "Spotters" have been employed by street railway companies ' since the first mule drew one through New York City 70 years ago. They will continue to 'be employed until we secure municipal ownership, of them and carry passengers for nothing and that will be some time after this date. -' - . Whenever you hear a man tell us that unions should disband and trust to the employers to do what is right, you can bet an old hat against an oyster shell that he is an employer or some idealist without practical ex perience. ,. , Every union has its knockers. These gentlemen haven't time to attend meetings more than three times a year. They can orate in a bar room as to how a union should be run, and in time of strike can demand strike benefits, but they will not do commit tee work and they rarely read a un ion paper.. Many of them are for sale- to the politicians or to the em ployers, at very low figures. I By this Urn Lola had thought what house.