WAG
VOLUME 7
LINCOLN, NEBRASKA, FRIDAY, MAY $.0
NUMBER 9
THE
W M T yfK TTs TTT II V
! BILLY MAJOR'S
I THE SAME CONTAINING A FEW
MATTERS OF MORE OR LESS
James W. VanCleave is dead. And
one of his sattelites has the nerve to
assert that Van Cleave 's death was
caused by the labor unions. Of course
the sattelite lies like a thief. I am one
of those who believe in speaking only
good of the dead, and in case nothing
good can be said I believe in casting
the mantle of silence over all. That
Van Cleave was a mono-maniac on the
subect of trades unions is beyond dis
pute. If his fight against unionism had
any effect at all upon him it was to so
arouse his passions as to consume hiiu
like a name. In the latter years of his
life he did more to make anarchists
than all the repression of kings. He
aroused bitter hates, created no feel
ings of charity, and left discord and
strife in his wake. James V. Van
Cleave is dead, but the great cause of
humanity which he fought still goes
marching triumphantly on to a glori
ous victory.
The esteemed Star now and then
manages to say something really worth
while. Its suggestion that instead of
limiting the height of buildings in the
business section forbidding skyscrap
ers we prohibit the erection of build
ings less than a certain height, is such
a good one that it ought to receive
more than casual consideration. The
men who have grown rich by the in
creased value of lands an increase in
no wise due to their efforts or their sag
acityowe something to the public
that made them rich. The practice
of some of these men is to build dinky
little two-story buildings and then
charge about 50 per cent of their value
every year for rent, the high rent being
due to the location, not to the conven
iences of the building. There is one
ideal way to cure this sort of thing,
and that is to tax the building site ac
cording to its value for occupancy. If
that were done we'd see no more of
those little "taxpayer" buildings on
valuable sites.
One of the big jokes, to my mind, of
recent weeks, is the letter Jake Taze
laar wrote to Rev. Charles Stelzle.
Jake thnks that Stelzle, every other
monster, and all the churches in the
country are to be condemned simply
because a couple of ministers in South
Bethlehem did not do just as ' Jake
wanted them to while he was investi
gating the steel mills there. The labor
papers that gave space to Jake's letter
wasted it. lie made no point against
the church. And if Rev. Charles Stelzle
sees fit to reply to Jake we can see the
Tazelaar hide hanging on the fence.
The election of Tom Pratt to the
presidency of the city council' is not
so much a tribute to the political sagac
ity of Pratt as it is an evidence of the
lack of political acumen on the part of
some eight members of the council. No
one, has ever questioned Pratt's person
al honesty, and it must be admitted
that he made a first-class city clerk.
But he is gifted with the natural bull
headedness of a Briton, and whatever
he opposes is, in his mind, everlastingly
and fundamentally wrong, vicious and
dangerous. Self-opinionated to a high
degree, he is not at all charitable of
the View of others, and we venture the
prediction ihat as presiding officer of
the councumamac Doay ne will De tiie
creator of all kinds of unpleasant fric
tion. John Kirby's union busting associa
tion met in annual convention a few
days ago, and of course John opened
up the proceedings with a characteris
tic belch against trades unions. And
of course he seized the occasion to
again print his picture in "American
Industries." Some of these days, in one
of his fits of insane anger against
trades unions, Kirby is going to bita
himself and die a horrible death from
blood poisoning, and when frien:ls
gather around and say, "How natural
DOPE CARD J
UNBIASED OPINIONS ABOUT 'J
INTEREST TO THE PUBLIC
he looks," one of his lieutenants will
arise and cry: "The unions killed this
great and good man."
Did you read Mr. Bryan's artistic
skinning of the Omaha Bee in his
speech at Omaha last Tuesday night t
If you didn't you missed a rare treat.
It really was the best thing that has
happened since Mr. Bryan had so much
.fun with the Bee over that paper's fool
tariff editorial break during the 'cam
paign of 1908. In his easy, good-natured,
but terribly effective way, Mr.
Bryan backed the Bee up against the
political fence and deftly removed its
hide without spilling blood all over the
fence.
Just a few hours before that Mr.
Bryan performed the same operation
upon John Lee "Webster. It was at tho
"Peave Meeting" in the Oamha audi
torium, arranged for the graded and
high schools of Omaha. The occasion
was the anniversary of the first peace
tribunal at The Hague, and Mr. Bryan
was the chief speaker. Mr. Webster
spoke first and took occasion to advo
cate the building of great battleships
and organizing great armies for the
purpose of awing the nations into
peace. He spoke about "our honor,"
and tried to impress upon the minds
of the school children the necessity of
always being armed and ready to scrap
like bulldogs in defense of honor. It
is easy to imagine the gentle way in
which Mr. Bryan handled that phase
of the Webster fulmination. I sat
within a few feet of Webster while
Bryan was making reply, and I could
see the Websterian form fairly shrivel,
while the Websterian countenance took
on as many changing hues as the fam
ous Websterian chromatic vest. The
man who will stand before 7,000 Amei
ican school children and advocate
building warships and supporting huge
armies seems to me to be sadly in need
of a guardian. The Webster argument
brought out scarcely a ripple of ap
pause, but when Mr. Bryan finished his
arraignment of the idea of swashbuck
ling around with a belt full of knivc3
and pistols in order to safeguard "hon
or," it brought forth a wave of cheers
that fairly shook the auditorium to its
foundations.
Do not be deceived the $100,000
park bond issue does not mean that if
the bonds are carried the city will
have to pay $50,000 for Lincoln Park.
It does not even mean that the city
will have to buy Lincoln Park at any
price. It simply means that the city
will have $100,000 to spend for park
purposes, and it is not a dollar too
much. Now is the time for Lincoln 4o
secure park lands. It ought to have
been done ten or fifteen years ago.
Leonhart opposes the bond issue on the
ground that "everybody in Lincoln "has
a park in his front yard." But we are
OBSERVATIONS OF THE
It's mighty easy for the boss to sit
in an easy chair smokin' a ten-center
an' give us kids advice about not
watchin' th' clock.
I ain't worked long enough yet t'
get a union card, but I've worked long
enough t' notice that them employers
that advise their hands to be free an'
independent instead of slaves to labor
agitators, ain't never built no homes
for disabled workingmen yet.
If ever I get t' be a boss I'm goin' t'
be just as ready to praise a good piece
of work as I am to growl because a
piece of work ain't done t' suit me.
Th' other day my boss got chummy
wit' me an' give me a long song an'
dance about "th' dignity o' labor."
But I didn't notice any more mazuma
in me envelope th' next Saturday night
becoming so accustomed to that sort of
superheated atmosphere from 'the Leon
hardt lungs that it is not worth while
to give it any particular attention.
Schroeder "opposes the park bonds be
cause he wants a pile of money to
spend on sewers, but Schroeder is not
ed for being unable to see anything
good in a move that is not "practical"
and by practical he does not menu
such things as parks and playgrounds.
The workingmen of Li1100!11 ought to
be a unit in support of the park bond
issue. It means more to them than
any other public improvement. -
f.
The trouble with Nebraska is that
it mistakes parsimony for economy. If
ever I run for governor of this com
monwealth my platform is going to
consist of four words: "To h 1
with parsimony!" This is one of the
richest states in the union, yet it is
being run on the old grasshopper busi
ness basis that prevailed thirty years
ago. It is working under an antiquat
ed constitution that fits present condi
tions about as nicely as a roundabout
and knickerbockers would fit a 200
pound man. It's code is a jnmbled-up
mess that serves no other purpose tha i
to make fat fees for lawyers. Its pub
lic institutions are behind the times, in
poor keeping with modern ideas and
thoughts and wholly inadequate. It
pays its attorney general $2,000 a year
and expects him to make good against
corporation lawyers who get more per
month than he gets per year. It pays
its governor a salary to manage a four
millions dollar business less salary than
a good department store manager can
get, and it sticks to a convict labor
lease system that has been condemned
by. every student of civics, political
economy and humanitarianism. In
stead of seeing how much it can spend
to good advantage in the interests of
good government and kindly care of
the state 's dependents, it tries to spend
as little as it can without adlaally put
ting itself in the attitude of sacrificing
common decency in the interests of
dollars and cents. The howl about
taxes has no foundation in fact. The
first thing needed , is a commonsense
system of taxation, and the second
thing needed is a rigid enforcement of
the laws of that system'. Remove the
tax on enterprise and thrift and put it
on the unearned increment. Tax the
value of land for use and occupancy
and quit taxing the thrift of the work
er who builds a little home. Quit tax
ing the improvements the enterprising
farmer makes upon his land, and make
the unenterprising land speculator pay
as much tax on his unimproved land
as the industrious farmer pays upon
his well tilled and highly improved
farm. Tax the men who get without
working, and quit taxing the men who
work without getting. But while we
are framing up this commonsense and
equitable system of taxation, for heav
en's sake let us get Nebraska out of
the grasshopper class!
Th' foreman in our shop says we
don't git enough credit f'r makin'
good on a lot of fool estimatin' that's
done in the front offus.
Pa says he's gittin' tired o'.hearin'
people say they want t' do somethin
f'r th' workin'man when all th' work
in 'man wants is a chanst t' do some
thin' f'r himself. An' pa is a workin'
man hisself.
.A wise gazabo wunst said that th
offus should seek th' man, an' ever
since th' factories have been seekin
th' kids.
Ma says she knows more about how
th tariff works than any o' them ex
pert tariff fixers can ever learn. Ma's
got t' make pa's wages stretch further
than th' tail o' Halley's comet, an7
twice as thin.
I ain't got no perlitical ambish, but
if I ever gits t' de city council do foist
ordeance I'll pass will be done t' eith
er make th' shops let ns of? as ktur
S HITTING THE POLITICAL PIPE !
I A FEW STRAY BITS OF GOSSIP
A FEW STRAY BITS OF GOSSIP CONCERNING MATTERS THAT
HAVE TO DO WITH RUNNING THE CITY, COUNTY AND STATE
I
The word has gone out that the gen
tlemen who frame up the legislative
ticket for Lancaster county republicans
have kindly consented to give organ
ized labor one place on the ticket this
time. That is really so kind of them,
don't you know. Organized labor ought
to meet these ticket-fixers more than
half-way, just like Mark Twain did the
bill collector who agreed to throw off
half the bill., "I'll notbe outdone in
generosity by any man;'' exclaimed
Mark, "I'll throw off' the other half."
Organized labor ought to accept the
one place on the ticket and then walk.'
right out and grab three or four more.
It could be done just as easy as falling
off of a log. All that needs to be done
is for the union men to agree on three
or four good men and then nominate
them at the primary. The legislative
candidate at the primaries who re
. ceives a thousand or twelve hundred
votes will get on the regular ticket,
and there are more than double that
number of union m.en in the county
who are eligible to vote at the primar
ies. ' ' . '
As for the democrats, they are in a
hopeless minority in this county and
they will haVe to get out search war
rants to find men willing to accept leg
islative nominations. That means that
it will be a simple matter to get two
or three organized labor men on the
legislative ticket put up by the demo
crats. The only reason why Lancaster
county trades unionists have never had
a representative in the legislature is
, that they've been political numbskulls.
They have blindly voted partisan tick
ets so long that it seems to be a con
firmed habit. Whether the habit is
confirmed or not will be demonstrated
by the way they vote at the primaries
next August. '
There are a lot of people who enter
tain the belief that Mr. Bryan did not
do the right thing when he started this ,
special session agitation, then slipped
off to Great Britain without seeing it
through. Mr. Bryan sprung the sp;
eial session idea while Governor Shal
lenberger was absent from tjie state,
then after putting the governor up
against the proposition, Mr. Bryan
goes to Europe to be gone a month or
six weeks. Under the circumstances
there seems to , be good grounds for
the belief in many quarters that Mr.
Bryan was unjust to the governor. Of
course 98 per cent of the. people favor
the initiative and referendum, and it
goodly minority, at least perhaps a
majority believe a special session
would be wise and profitable, but hav
ing started something Mr. Bryan might
have remained in if, to the finish.
Word comes that William E. An
drews is considering the matter of try
ing to secure the republican nomina
tion for governor. The Peruna people
OFFICE BOY
earlier or make de fashionable shop
pers do their shoppin' an hour later, s
I was de only make man on a car
do other day, an' it was crowded t'
de limit. I got up an' give a swell
skoit me seat an' she didn't bat an eye
in my direction. At de next crossin' an'
ol' lady with a hand-me down drees,
boarded de car an' de swell skoit sat
there an' let th' old' lady swing t' a
strap. After dis I'll let de swell skoits
stand an' hold me seat till some hard
workin' ol' woman or goil gits"on dcu
me t' de rear platform.
I ain't a journeyman yet, but I've
been workin' long enough t' see dat
de blokes what's so anxious about giv
uT us kids a chanst t' learn a trade is
i darned sight more anxious to git a
chanst to make money off of kid labor.
mNrF.RNINf: MATTERS THAT I
I
could well afford to finance the An
drews ' campaign. That famous "testi
monial," containing a likeness of An
drews, would be reprinted without
cost to the near-whisky outfit . to the
, extent of about a" million dollars
worth.
Some three or four years ago, during
a republican county convention being
held in the Oliver ,Bud Lindsay arose in
the Third ward delegation to dppose .
motion, and started out by saying :
"I have been a delegate to Lancaster
county republican conventions for thir
ty years, and "
"That's too damned long, "Bud!"
shouted a" delegate in the rear of the
theatre.
The rest of Bud's speech was never
delivered, or if it was it was drownel
in. the gale of laughter that followed
the interruption. '
This little incident ... is ' mentioned
merely to preface the remark thatthe
little machine that is now fixing tlvj
republican legislative ticket ' in this
county has peen at that kind of work
"too d d long."
According to Secretary Ballinger a
subordinate government employe who
becomes cognizant of crooked work on
the part of a superior, owes more to
the superior that he does to the coun
try, and therefore ought to refrain
from exposing the crookedness.
Very few people will take seriously
the candidacy of William F. Porter for
railway commissioner. Of course there
is nothing but "Durham"' in that "Porter-put-it-back"
cry, but the fact of th3
matter is that Porter is not the man
for the place. His personal honesty no
man can successfully assail, but he
lacks the mental poise. The trouble
with Porter is that he takes himself
too seriously. He had no more to do
with the adoption of the Australian
ballot than a score of other members of
the famous session of 1891. As secre
tary of state he was a member of the
railway commission, and for four
years, no attempt was made by the
commission to do anything other than
provide fat jobs for three "secretar
ies." He went into office on the wave
of populism, and the populist move
ment, while the greatest political edu-N
cator of modern times, waned and died
because too many of its self -constituted
leaders soon made principle subsidi
ary to place. And when Mr. Porter
takes to himself the credit of the
"Newberry bill" he adds nothing to
his claim upon further public recogni
tion. The intent of that bill was all
right, but the attempt to make a copy
of the Iowa freight rates fit Nebraska
conditions could not have ended in any
thing but disaster. .
The only interesting features about
the attempt of Secretary Whitten, to
make Senator Burkett commit himself
on the "long and short haul" clause in
the railroad bill was that a man of
Whitten's ability should have thought
it worth while to try and make the sen
ior senator commit himself upon such
an important question. As a balancer
and high wire walker our senior sena
tor has Blondiri backed off into Niag
ara river.
The poke is on Congressman Hitch
cock. He came down to Lincoln to file
for senator, and tried to pay the filing
fee of $50 to tke secretary of state. Mr.
Hitchcock is a lawyer, and is serving
his third term in congress. Yet he
didn't know that the filing fee should
have been paid to the clerk of Doug
lass county, and the clerk's receipt
filed with the secretary of state. Some
how or other that incident reminded
us of King Arthur, the man who could
not understand how the housewife got
the apple inside of the dumpling.