JERSEY LILY.
Mr. Brown (to new cook) What is
your name?
Cook Mary,' sir.
Mr. Brown Dear me, that la my
wife's name. We shall have to call
you something else.
. Cook Never mind, call me Lily!
BABY'S WATERY ECZEMA.
Itched and Scratched Until Blood Ran
450 Spent on Useless Treatments
-Disease Seemed Incurable.
Cured by Cutlcura for $1.50.
"When my little boy was two and a
half months old he broke out on both
cheeks with eczema. It was the itchy,
watery kind and we had to keep bis
little hands wrapped up all the time,
and If he would happen to get them
uncovered he would claw his face till
the blood streamed down on his cloth
ing. We called in a physician at once,
but he gave an ointment which was so
severe that my babe would scream
when It was put. on. We changed
doctors and medicine until we had
spent fifty dollars or more and baby
was getting worse. I was so worn out
watching and caring for him night and
day that I almost felt sure the disease
was incurable. But finally reading of
the good results of the Cuticura Rem
edies, I determined to try them. I
can truthfully say I was more than
surprised, for I bought only a dollar
and a half's worth of the Cuticura
Remedies (Cuticura Soap, Ointment
and Pills), and they did more good than
all my doctors' medicines I had tried,
and in fact entirely cured him. His
ftce is perfectly clear of the least
spot or scar of anything. Mrs. W. M.
Comerer, Burnt Cabins, Pa., Sept. 15,
1908..'
Potter Drag ft Cbem. Oars.. Bole Pro;., Boston.
Expensive Silence.
Little four-year-old Alice was lying
on the floor whining and crying stead
ily one afternoon, until, her father's
patience exhausted, he called out to
her: "Oh, stop, Alice, and I'll give
you a penny."
Alice stopped only long enough to
answer: "I can't stop for less than a
nickel! Boohoo! Boohoo!"
Why Not?
Aunt Splnsterly I hope that your
opinions uphold the dignity of your
sex, Mamie, and that you believe that
every woman should have a vote.
, Mamie I don't go quite so far as
that, aunty; but I believe that every
woman should have a voter. Sketch.
The angels are always waiting to
open the windows of heaven over the
head of tho man who will bring the
last tithe Into the storehouse. .
In after years a man wishes he was
halt as smart as he used to think be
was.
lEJtBY DAVIS FAINK1XMEK
costs only ISo, 860 or 600 ft botlta. but ttconinlnsmany
dollar' worth of virtue In curing colds, rheumatism,
wuralgla,dklDdmdtlM. At all druggists.
The wickedness of other men we
have always In our eye, but we cast
our own over our shoulder. Seneca.
Tr. Ptoree't pleasant Pellets cure constipation,
flnnstlnattun ta tho cum of mf dlaraHos. I '11
Xim oauaa and 70a aura the aiaeaas. JSasjr to take.
To the good the world is very good;
to the bad it is bad. Smiles.
ANOTHER
WOMAN
CURED
By Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound
uaroiner, Maine." 1 nave Deen a
great Biifferer from organic troubles
ana a severe female
weakness. The
doctor said I would
have to go to the
hospital for jj
operation, but I
could not Dear to
think of it 1 de
cided to try Lydia
E. Pinkham's Ycg
etable Compound
and Sanative w ash
and was entirely
cured after three
months' use of them." Mrs. S. A.
Williams, U. P. D. No. 14, Box 89,
Gardiner, Mo.
Ho woman should submit to a surgi
cal operation, which may mean death,
tinHl she has given Lydia 13. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, made exclusive
ly from roots and herbs, a fair trial.
This famous medicine for women
has for thirty years proved to be tho
most valuable tonic and renewer of
the female organism. Women resid
ing in almost every city and town in
the United States bear willing testi
mony to the wonderful virtue of Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
It cures female ills, and creates radi
ant; buoyant female health. If you
re ill, for your own Bake as well as
those yon lore, give it a trial.
Mrs. Pinlcham. at Lynn, Mass.,
Invltea all sick women to write
ber for advice. Her advice is tree,
ME WAGEWORKER
By W. M. MAUPIN
UICOLB,
KEBRAflKA
What would a fair be without an
airship?
This year there will be no counting
the losses, but a piling up of profits.
Always bear in mind that there is
ho spot on earth east of the north
pole.
Now the American aviator will leave
upon the cirrus clouds his fresh tobac
co stain.
Many persons are satisfied to know
that the comet is there without wait
ing up nights to see it.
California should preserve its big
trees from forest fires and make the
lumber trust forever jealous.
It is confusing to say that the orig
inal college widow is dead. Originality
is the long suit of all of them.
If people are not more careful the
death strip Is going to interfere seri
ously with our census prospects.
Though science denies that there
are equinoctial storms they have a
way of coming, along about that time.
France is going to tax foreign au
tomobiles brought in for pleasure runs,
which may serve to call attention to
the good roads of Germany and Spain.
Bugs are eating the gum oft the
stamps In Washington. It may be
necessary to make an appropriation
to feed the bugs in order to save the
stamps.
Marrying a slightly shelf-worn Eu
ropean nobleman to a large package
of American dollars is a job which
Cupid might well be glad to turn over
to a syndicate.
A man in a Connecticut town was
sent to jail for persistently whistling
the same popular tune. That long
abused and long-suffering worm, the
public, has turned at last.
A fountain pen in a New York
man's pocket stopped a bullet and
saved his life. Most fountain pens
destroy all chances of the future life,
with the average-tempered man.
California is thinking of dividing
Itself Into two states of normal size.
This plan if carried out will give to
the world the inestimable blessing of
two distinct varieties of "native sons."
Gulf ports are gaining in export
trade faster than are Atlantic coast
ports, wholly regardless of the per
fectly good theory that lines of traffic
are foreordained to run only east and
west.
It is reported by the minister of the
treasury that Castro in the last part
of his term took a million and a half
of dollars from the national treasury.
No wonder he was reluctant to lose
such a good thing.
In giving up his claims to the throne
of Portugal to wed an American
heiress, the prince of Braganza sac
rifices a very; pale shadow to a beauti
ful and substantial reality. So the
sacrifice is not as harrowing as it
sounds.
That Uncle Sam turns out a high
grade of marksmen is evident from
the experience of the Atlantic fleet.
When practice with the big guns has
to be suspended because the targets
have been shot to pieces the fact fur
nishes strong evidence that there
would be straight shooting in battle.
New progress brings new dangers.
The surgeon of the French warship
Descartes attributes eczema and eye
troubles to the use of wireless teleg
raphy. The eczema has appeared on
the faces and hands of the seamen
told off to work the apparatus. There
fore the surgeon recommends that in
future use of the wireless apparatus
precautions be taken to protect these
parts of the body.
Here is another discovery, and it
has been made at a distance farther
than the north pole. Observations by
Prof. Percival Lowell, the Harvard
astronomer, convince him that there
is oxygen in the atmosphere of Mars,
and from this he concludes that it is
possible for life to exist on that planet
as well as on the earth. Here is a
chance for real distinction. What
airship inventor will fly to Mars and
find out all about it?
The September report of the depart
ment of agriculture renews assurance
that the leading grain crops will be
large. The prospects are that the
wheat yield will be 714,302,000 bush
els, against 664,604,000 last year, whilo
corn is put down at 2,648,846,000, as
compared with 2,668,651,000 in. 1908.
Other figures are: Oats, 1909, 1,0
000,000 bushels, 1908, 807.156,000 bush
els; rye, 1909, 31,OG6,000 bushels; 1908
3i.851,000 bushels; barley, 1909, 170,
648,000 bushels; 1908,. 166,756,000
bushels.
The public seems to have been edu
cated into believing that rabies must
inevitably follow a dog bite. With the
victim in such a frame of mind, his
body, enfeebled by terror, becomes
an easier prey.
The New York state forest commis
sioner is establishing telephone lines
In the Adlrondacks for the use of fire
wardens. In extinguishing forest fires
as well as others much depends upon
getting an early start. The telephones
are likely to raore than save their
cost.
GUARDING THE CARS
RAILROADS HAVE ELABORATE
SYSTEM OF PROTECTION.
"Chief Special Agent," with Head
quarters in Some Large City,
Has Army of Detectives
Under His Command.
He was a big, florid man, glorying
in girth of Taft-like proportions, and
when he bustled into the room,
showing a sea-roll stride, he was
blowing like a por
poise. Also pers
piring, as be
comes a ponder
ous person on
a warm day.
Stretching across
a section of his
broad vest was a
heavy watch
chain, made of
leather links. Div
ing a chunky fist
into a hip pocket
he drew forth a
holstered revolver
which he careless
ly tossed into the
desk before him.
Then he was ready
for business grim business and the
more he got of it the better he seemed
to like it and the more he sputtered
and fumed.
At the right of his desk was a com
plete arsenal a cabinet in which
stood a row of menacing Winchesters.
In a corner of the room rested another
case and it contained an assortment
of handcuffs and some balls and
chains, the . whole reminiscent of a
chamber in a penitentiary.
This man, the up-to-date chief of de
tectives of a big railroad with Chicago
terminals, is the man who directs a
continuous campaign against thieves
who invade the yards of the system
and break open freight and passenger
cars, stations and freight sheds, car
rying away anything liftable. It is
the duty of this railroad police con
stable, whose official title is "chief
special agent," to put up his shields,
so to speak, at every point on a great
system and keep an eye at long range
on a small army of assistants who run
down robber bands which infest the
road. Thus, from Chicago to Texas
and California, the chief special agent
of one of the through western lines is
kept busy catching thieves and send
ing them to prison.
Hundreds of thousands of dollars'
worth of goods and railroad equip
ment are stolen annually in numerous
sections of the codntry and if the
thieves are to be run to their lairs,
prosecuted and sent to prison the
special agents and their assistants
have a large contract on their hands.
A favorite plunder in the eyes of
thieves is silk. Only the other day ad
vices were received of a , $4,000,000
cargo of silks and other goods loaded
on a single boat, bound from Asia-tic
ports to San Francisco. Of this cargo
much was silk. Thieves look longing
ly on that fabric as a means of profit
and they always can find conscience
less purchasers. However, silk trains,
when east-bound to the markets, are
carefully watched, and there are ever
on guard special agents, good shots,
ready to pick off train robbers if they
attempt to loot cars in transit across
the mountains or the lonely plains.
In Chicago and other cities the
freight car thieves are not too partic
ular about what they steal. Some loot
the cars for merchandise of all sorts
with a preference for provisions and
liquors. Others seek out clothing.
One of the methods in favor with
professional railroad thieves is to
"spot"' a box car loaded with a quan
tity of silk, enter it through the end
door at Buffalosor some other point
and accompany it on its journey until
it arrives at a quiet place out in the
country many miles away where the
grade is heavy, necessitating slow go
ing. When a place agreed upon has
been reached the plunder is tossed out
to confederates in waiting with a
team of horses and wagon.
A short time ago the sheriff of Lake
county, Indiana, was driving late at
night toward Hobart when he came
upon a span of horses hitched among
the trees off the roadside. Slowing up,
he saw men carrying large packages
from the side of a railroad track near
by. He drew his revolver, commanded
a halt and the frightened thieves
made off, leaving a valuable team,
wagon and stolen goods, mostly silk,
behind. The robbers believed that an
entire posse was after them. A similar
case is reported from Valparaiso, Ind.
In each instance the thieves had ac
companied the train a long distance.
It is said the most expert of the rail
road thieves are former employes of
the roads. The special agents main
tain a blacklist consisting of the
names of former railroad men who
have been convicted of thievery.
Startling Station Call.
A conductor and a brakeman on a
Montana railroad differ as to the
proper pronunciation of the name
"Eurelia." Passengers axe often
startled upon arrival at this station to
hear the conductor yell, "You're a
liar! Your're a liar!" And then from
the brakeman at the other end of the
car, "You really are! You realiy are!"
Advantage in Electricity.
None of the railroad companies
which have adopted electricity in the
regular service of moving trains,
seems disposed to give out any fig
ures showing the cost of operation,
but it is declared that In point of con
venience and regularity of service the
electric has shown a decided superi
ority over the steam service.
FOR PAN-AMERICAN RAILROAD
Financiers and Builders Have in Mind
Line to Connect the Two
Continents.
Several railroad magnates have
been approached by officials of the
bureau of American republics, it was
admitted at the headquarters of the
bureau, with a view of interesting
them in the construction of a Pan-
American railroad through southern
Mexico, Central America and far into
South America.
As yet none of the capitalists has
informed the bureau of an intention to
construct such a road, but Director
Barrett believes that by the time the
third Pan-American conference meets
in Buenos Aires next year a definite
proposition will be ready to submit to
the American nation with a view of
asking for moral support1. It is rec
ognized that governmental aid must
be given to this project, just as the
United States assisted in the construc
tion of the great trans-continental
lines to connect the Atlantic and Pa
cific.
The prospect, not only for obtaining
the co-operation of the nations con
cerned, but of procuring the consent
of capitalists to undertake the great
feat of connecting the two American
continents by rail, is regarded by of
ficials in Washington to be brighter
now than ever before. They feel that
the dream of James G. Blaine of con
necting the two continents in this
manner may be realized by the very
generation that followed him.
SPIRIT OF WORKING TOGETHER
Explanation of the Splendid Record
Made by Railroads of
America.
For the third time this year an
American railroad reports that it has
operated its lines for 12 months with
out losing the life of a single passen
ger. The Santa Fe, with its 9,794
miles of actively operated track, takes
place with the Burlington and the
Pennsylvania, on this roll of honor.
The Santa Fe carried 12,605,697 pas
sengers without a fatality.
Wonderful as this efficiency record
is, its explanation is as marvelous.
"Even more than to heavy rails, bal
last or equipment," says one of the
road's officials, "we attribute the suc
cessful record for the year to the
spirit of working together, which must
run through the rank and file of the
men operating the trains." In other
words, American railroading is rid
ding itself of its greatest operating
reproach by sheer will power.
This is the force that has leveled
mountains, filled up canyons, bridged
arms of the sea itself. It can ihave
few loftier ideals in the practical work
ings of a railroad than the mainten
ance of the sacredness of human life.
There is every reason to believe that
its success has been repeated upon
other lines, and that it will be ex
tended to other systems still as it
becomes a matter upon which all
American railroads feel a proud spirit
of emulation.
HERO WAS EASILY SATISFIED
Saved Train from Wreck, and Only
Desire Was to Be Given Money
for Whisky.
A disappointing tramp hero was the
one who saved a train from certain
disaster in August, 1905, on the Cin
cinnati, Hamilton & Dayton railroad
Several yards of the track bad been
swept away in a washout, and when
the tramp, who rushed along the track
and warned the driver by waving his
coat above his head, was asked by the
grateful passengers for his name and
address, in order that he might be
further rewarded, after they had
raised a purse of more than $100 for
him, he replied: "My address is the
United States, and it ain't never been
more definite, and I guess it never will
be so long as whisky's sold in more
than one place. I've got enough money
now to keep me alive for six months.
at five cents a drink, and I guess
you've done your duty by me. But the
nearest saloon's at Hamilton, and
that's a long way for a man whose
been dry since morning. Give me a
ride to Hamilton and we'll cry quits
And to Hamilton he went, and when
the passengers last saw this fattened
hero he -was rushing into a saloon,
where he entertained crowds of loiter
ers with the story of how he saved
the train, and then treated them to
drinks.
Blowing Up the Locks. -
Would it be easy to blow up and de
stroy a lock canal by the malicious
use of dynamite or other high explo
sive? The question has been debated
much in connection with the Panama
canal. The Engineering News calls
attention to the fact that an attempt
made in 1900 to wreck the Wei
land canal in this way produced sur
prislngly small results. .
After two weeks' examination the
two men concerned selected lock 24,
and each lowered a satchel containing
dynamite and a fuse to the water be
hind the gate at each end of the lock.
Both charges were exploded, but the
dynamite failed to carry away the
gates.
Although the explosives blew a hole
about a foot in diameter, through each
gate and loosened the hinges, the
gates remained in position, holding
back the water.
For Future Railroad Ties.
During the last season the Pennsyl
vania Railroad Company set out 303,
000 trees, including pines, larches,
&9?uw ana hardwoods.
M MM lMMMj f
m satisfaction Not m Economy
A large can and a small cost
er even less expensive than Calnmet the high-quality, moderate-Dries)
kind. It certainly cannot make it as good. Don 't judge baking powder ia
this way the real test the proof of raising power, of evenness, uniformity.
wnoiesomeness ana aeuciousness wm Da touna only in tee baking.
is a better baking powder than yon have ever nsed be
fore. And we will leave it to your good judgment for
proof. Buy a can today. Try it for any baking pur
pose. If the results are not better if tho baking is not
lighter, more delicious, take it back and get your money.
Calumet is medium in price but
free large handsome recipe book,
bend 4c and slip found in pound
Calumet Received Highest
World s Pure r ood Exposition
i Editorial Amenities.
Editor Junkin of the Sterling Bulle
tin has red hair. Editor Cretcher of
the Sedgwick Pantagraph has no hair
at all.
VMac," asked Junkin, "bow did you
lose your hair?" .
"It was red and I pulled it out,"
growled Cretcher. Everybody's.
Ambiguous. -
Harold What did she say when
you turned out the gas and kissed her?
. Rupert Said she felt as if she never
wanted to see my face again. Phila
delphia Record.
Of Course.
"How do you make your wife' mind
so well?" , .
"I tell her she can do anything she
likes, so she don't see any 'fun in it."
' In case of Dain on the luncs Hamlins
Wizard Oil acts like a mustard plaster,
except that it is more effective and is so
much nicer and cleaner to use.
The secret of success in life is for. a
man to be ready for his opportunity
when it comes. Disraeli.
THE SOURCE OF TROUBLE
must be reached before It can be cured. Allen's
Lung Balsam goes to tbe root of your cough, and
cures It. Harmless and sure. At all druggists. -
We live truly for ourselves only
when we live for others. Seneca. .
Mrs. Wlnilow'a Soothing Syrnp.
For children teething, sof tens the gums, reduces in
AammaUon,aUays pain, cures wind collo. SScabottla.
Money talks, but it often fails to
tell the truth.
f CS0K)gtt I
No fuss no flurry no smell and, above all, no smoke, even
though you turn the wick as high as it will go. .
The temperature runs up quickly. In ten minutes the average
sized room glows with cheer and comfort that genial heat brings
the heat that is smokeless and odorless. , ,
Automatic Smokeless Device
which automatically locks and absolutely prevents smoke, by keeping
the wick out of the smoke zone, is on the Perfection only.
The solid brass font holds four quarts, which gives a full-head flame for r
nine hours.
Flame burns from side of wick instead ,of from the top. The brass wick
carrier does not rust and clog the wick. Damper top, cool handle.
Aluminum metal window frames that heat cannot tarnish. Japan or nickel
finish. Various styles and finishes. .' ',
Every Dealer Everywhere. If Not At Yonrs, Write for Descriptive Circular
to the Nearest Agency of the
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
(Incorporated) 1
When You're Hoarse Use
Gives immediate relief. The first
dose relieves your aching throat and
allavs the irritation. Guaranteed to
contain no opiates. Very palatable.
All DrussUts, 25c '
IV cure
Cheats and
Big Can Bakuur
Powder is Only Big in Size - Not)
does not make baking powder cheap
f il Hedium
i1
great in satisfaction.
illustrated in colors.
can. '
Award -
Is'Poor Consolation.
"Yes. it must be a terrible thing to
go through life without your limb. But
you must remember it will be restored
to you in the next world." '
"I know it will-, mum, but dat don't
encourage me, for it was cut off when
I was a baby, an' it won't come with-'
in a couple of foot of de ground w'en
it's restored."
A girl never feeis more important
than when she is getting married, and
a man never looks more inconspicu
ous. . . '
The
jRayb lamv
Is a low priced, lamp. There are
lamps that cost more but there is no
better lamp made at any price. It
is made upon scientific principles.
There is nothing . in lamp making
that can add to the value of the
RAYO
Every dealer everywhere. . If not at
yours, write for descriptive circular
to the nearest agency of the
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
(Incorporated)
DEFIANCE STiRCII-!Lage
other itarches only 12 ounces same price and
"DEFIANCE" 18 SUPERIOR QUALITY.
Have Heat
Brought To You
When your bed-room, bath-room
or dining room is chilly, you may
have heat brought to you in just the
degree you desire. It is easy when
you have a
PERFECTION
Oil Heater
(Equipped with Smokeless Device)
available. Place the heater where the
cold is most annoying, strike a match.
LIVESTOCK AND
MISCELLANEOUS
Electrotypes
IN GREAT VARIETY
FORj SALE tAT THE
LOWEST PRICES BY
WESTERN NEWSPAPER UNION
554 W. Adams St, Chicago
and always uaipiui.