ME WAGRVORKER
DEEP SEA TALK.
By W. M. MAUPIN
US COLS,
(KBRASKl
It is an ill wind that blows no good
to the hatter.
Bolivia should stop and count 100
oefore going to war.
SIX MONTHS.
rOQ
1
The Porpoise I hear that the
porty old lobster Kent all to pieces
to hl last dars.
The Tortoise Well. I should say ho
did go to pieces, and small pieces.
Bo ended up In a lobster salad.
Women in Pottal Service.
The distinction or first appointing a
woman postmaster does not belong to
America nor is the employment of
women in Uto postal service a new
Men. As early as 1343 a woman post
master was appointed to look after
the mails of Brain e le Comte. an im
portant town of France. In the try
lex times of the Thirty Tears war,
the principal office in the postal serv
ice of Europe was held by a woman,
Alexandrine de Rue. From 162S to
1S4S she was in charge of the mails
of the German empire, the Nether
lands. Burgundy and Lorraine. She
was known as a master general of the
mails. In America. Elizabeth Harvey
was the first to hold a place in the
postal department. She had charge
of the letters in Portsmouth. N. H in
the beginning of the seventeenth cen
tury. A half century afterward Lydia
Hill was placed in charge of the post
office in Salem. Mass.
Not Ashamed of Economy.
Discussing England and the English
from an American point of view, a re
cent American writer in England ob
serves: "Nobody, from the king of
England down, is either ashamed or
afraid to be economical. Here a man
or a woman is thought to be a fool
cr a vulgarian who is not careful of
expenditure, while la America our
waiters hare been clever enough to
make It appear that economy is mean,
and as a nation we suffer according
ly. We are fools to be fooled in this
manner.
Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, it Is usually neces
sary to use so much starch that the
-keouty and fineness of the fabric is
bidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou
ble can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because of its great
er strength than other makes.
At it rose competition in Paris re
cently. 69 entirely new varieties of
roses were exhibited. .
Nebraska Directory
QRSEILLES GRAIN ELEVATORS
a ta beat; inalat on fearing then.
Aaa yoor local dealer, or
JOHN OKKRK PLOW CO. OMAHA
FISST I.33T.AEE B0X3S ZSJSSZ
Vmtvnlxj PkeTkOev. Is -. la tluu aBoQiiu, due on,
. Utr-. tor or are vrv will cma aor
tor cotamisskr-s. on month s InifTMt; scroti
putvtal lorctrmlar m4 picture: W. B. Bavrfcley, J,
DR. ROBERTS SPECIALIST IN
SSXSERY AtCa CEX0X1C DISEASES
13 O fXrvrt. Lincoln. Nrlwaaka. FREE CO!-
KCLTATION and EXAMINATION. Writ or
GOMEL!. ENGRAVING CO.
Bait Toaca aa tin Ktctainm. New and con
ptata ancrariax plant. ttwK. 11th St Lincoln.
FULL LINE OF PHOTO SUPPLIES
LUMBER
Let as make yon figures on your bill.
Good grades, quick shipment and low
prices. Direct to consumer.
F.V.Ertwa Umber .Ct., Ltacoli, left.
F1AH0 BARGAINS
nmUM CaSlact Grand Piano. Maboawaa
I i . iH nal a laml umcat nurilaia ; orijrin
nt. U; SI-KCIAL !. iaclvaina atoul
aaaarwrt. Wnia at one lor other baraiaa
ad anlvoa hia paper. S HXULLtK
MI FLLKK PIANO UK, Kstabiisnrd IRA
Ill tenia KaavoMht BV. Unroln. Xabcwaka.
Mrs. Bill Now, tell me at once
where have you been all this time?
Bill Why, dear, it hasn't been
long.
Mrs." Bill How dare yon tell me
that? Ton have been out all night.
Why We Are Stronger.
The old Greeks and Romans were
great admirers of health and strength;
their pictures and statuary made the
muscles of the men stand out like
cords.
As a matter of fact we have ath
letes and strong men men fed on
fine strength making food such as
Quaker Cata that would win in any
contest with the old Roman or Greek
champions.
It's a matter of food. The finest food
for making strength of bone, muscle
and nerve is fine oatmeal. Quaker
Oats is the best because it Is pure, no
husks or stems or black specks. Farm
ers' wives are finding that by feeding
the farm hands plentifully on Quaker
Oats they get the best results in work
and economy. If you are convenient
to the Btore, buy the regular size pack
ages: If not near the store buy the
large size family package. X
Douglas Jerrold's Wit.
tlon of Jerrold's pieces a successful
adapter from the French rallied him
on his nervousness. ,
said the adapter, "never feel
pieces.
"Ah, my boy," Jerrold replied, "you
are always certain of success. Your
pieces have all been tried before."
He was sorely disappointed with a
certain book written by one of his
friends. This friend heard that Jer
rold had expressed his disappoint
ment and questioned him: "I hear
you said was the worst book I
ever wrote."
"No, I didn't," came the answer; "I
said it was the worst book anybody
ever wrote."
Of a mistaken philanthropist JerV
rold said he was "so benevolent, so
merciful a man he would have held
an umbrella over a duck in a shower
it rain." Argonaut.
HERBERT E. GOOCH CO.
MOKRS AND DEALERS
Maim Offira. -JOS Frataraaty BUf.
BcUPhaSIS
l awpfav rfaina
SIS AntoPaonnaGSS II
I-jtfTrntHoaajl
SOUTH DAKOTA
Impravp4 tut -amiaproTrd uma la &stcrm
Govt tofckMa for sntw m
CROP PAYMENTS er 10 TEARS TIME
YMIcrart kaiMiafraoa any fanaoasanteraisr
mat. Pnco tat to f0 per . For lists.
mail., ate.. addreaa ALEX. H. KAJT, t
Mn liiii'taV. IStknaaO
Csatriso Creamery Co.
; Paxa tan aichnai prica for
No Short Haul for Him.
"This is where you get off," said the
railroad conductor.
'But I haven't rid fur enough," said
the Billville man.
'Can't help that. You can't go any
further on this ticket."
My friend," said the man, "it's the
furst time I ever rid on a railroad
train, an' ef you ain't a better man
than what I am I'm a-goin' to set right
here till I see whar the road ends. I
know it must end scme're, an' I'm curi
ous to see whar. Here's one more
dollar. Now, go long an' let me
alone!"
What's the Matter with Baby?
"I wonder what makes baby cry
so?" said the first friendly person.
'Perhaps a pin is annoying it," ven
tured another.
"Or else It's hungry," said a third.
"Or teething" said another. "You
can't do anything for that."
"Aw, look at the way he's kicking.
and see how his little fists are doublet.
up." put in Bobby. "He wants some
body of his own size to fight with,
that's what he wants."
Almond Wafers.
Cream one-half cup butter, add
slowly one cup powdered sugar, one-
half cup milk, drop hy drop; then add
1T& cups bread flour, one-half teaspoon
extract of almonds. Spread very thin
on bottom of dripping pan Inverted
and buttered; mark in squares;
sprinkle with almonds blanched and
chopped fine, and bake in moderate
oven five minutes. Roll in tubular
shape while warm. Set pan on back
of range while rolling wafers as they
become brittle very quickly.
Baked Ham.
Make a thick paste of flour and
cover the ham with it, bone and all;
put in in a pan on a spider or two
muffin rings, or anything that will
keep It an inch from the bottom of
the pan, and bake in a hot oven. If
a small ham 15 minutes for each
pound; if large, 20 minutes. The oven
should be hot when it is put in. The
paste forms a hard crust around the
ham and when cooked the skin comes
oft! with it. Ham is very nice cooked
In this way.
Plum Pudding.
Soak one cup of bread crumbs in
two cups of boiling milk, add five ta
blespoons of sugar, one tablespoon of
butter and five well-beaten eggs. Add
some stewed and mashed plums and
beat until light, then put into a but
tered pudding mold, set in a pan of
boiling water in the oven, cover and
bake for one hour. Serve with sweet
ened cream.
Queen Pudding.
Line a lemon mold about two
Inches deep with vanilla ice cream.
Have ready about a pint of thoroughly
chilled fruit peaches, apricots, cher
ries or berries fill them into the cen
ter of the mold, cover them with ice
cream, and put on the cover of the
mold. Pack and stand aside for two
hours. Serve with grated macaroons
As yet the aeroplane men cannot ga
op for an all-day picnic, taking their
lunch along.
As the list of summer tragedies
grows larger the need for greater care
grows plainer.
New York is evidently harboring
too many Chinamen who look on mur
der as a pastime.
King Edward is getting to be a vet
eran ruler, for he has entered upon
the ninth year of bis reign.
Now that the hot-weather record
has been broken, it is to be hoped it
will be mended and stay so.
A Virginia woman shot her husband
because he insisted on playing a phon
ograph. This is a record case.
Through dissensions and the lack of
funds the movement in New York to
build a children's theater has been
abandoned.
Isn't it annoying that now, just in
the finest time of the whole year, the
charity people tip oft the fact that
there are jobs for everybody?
In France, as in this country. It is
the wealthier families that are
shunned by the stork. Maybe the
haughty footman scares the timid bird.
Now that canned fresh air is to be in
troduced into mines as a .safety de
vice, the canning idea appears to have
reached its height or, to speak cor
rectly in this case, its depth.
A man in St. Louis has invented a
vice which he claims will make air
flights safe. But this will detract
largely from the excitements of seeing
them if curious crowds are assured
nobody will be hurt.
A girl in Pennsylvania who aimed
at a rat with a rifle shot her mother.
It is time that feminine sharpshooters
should learn something by experience.
If the girl in question had aimed at
her mother, she would have stood a
better chance of shooting the rat.
Women ought to know by this time
that they go by contraries.
A man in New York brought his
wife into court because she had such
a mania for hard work that he could
not restrain her from doing it all the
time. This one remarkable case is
enough to balance the many which
women bring against their husbands
because the latter compel them to do
hard work all the time.
The Turks have started to fight the
Greeks with the boycott that blood
less weapon of modern warfare which
causes more devastation and brings
speedier results than all others in the
array of improved armaments, and
whose victories are caused by the un
endurable agony it inflicts upon that
most sensitive of all organisms, the
pocket nerve.
Uruguay is joining the progressives
in South America. That country is
now in the market for a loan of $6,-
000,000 for public works purposes, and
like other countries in that quarter
turns to the United States to get the
money. Another Indication of the
strengthening ties between this and
the South American nations, a rela
tionship that eventually must be high
ly advantageous all round.
Aeroplanes having shown capacity
for going swiftly and for long dis
tances, the problem next to be at
tacked is how to make them fly high.
It is obvious that an airship to be of
generally practical use must be car
ble of ascending to a considerable dis
tance. One of the inventors says
"good motors and nerve" win meet
the difficulty. And who can doubt
that these requisites" will be forthcoming?
Curiosity Is not confined to anv one
nation. The phlegmatic English ap
pear to have their full share. The
damrhters nf tho ionui
Cowes and went on foot for a shop
ping expedition, but the crowd which
gduiemi aixjui to gaze at tnem be
came bo much of a mob that the po
lice came to the rwno and minnj
the little grand duchesses to take car
nages in order to avoid the annoy
It is no "cinrh tn )w a ..---i
sympathizer with fallen
even a reiauve or ine "down and out"
nowadays. News comes from Teheran
that Zill-es-Sultan. an uncle of the de
posed anan or 1'ersia, nas been fined
$500,000 in favor of the state treas
ury and expelled from the country.
And a military escort will see that he
goes. He might exchange condolences
with Abdul Hamid of Turkey, now an
ex-sultan, who also had to "give up."
Parisian scientific enterprise has
evolved the "germ kiss. A fair Pa
risienne allowed herself to be kissed
by a smooth-shaven man and then by
a bearded one; and the ccosequent
microbes were collected by a steril
ized brush. It was found that the
beardless man had depostited only the
sweet germs of affection upon her
lips, while the other had left besides
bacilli of tuberculosis, diphtheria,
pnuemonia and a few ether addenda.
Now it seems that the osculating
maiden misses all sorts of troubles by
a close shave.
SOLID GOLD SILVER AWARD
For the Best Ear of Corn
To be Known as the AjtS&e&pf National CoraTrophy
To be Awarded at the
National Corn Exposition, Omaha,
flniF im limulml tjwinmnil million flftO 000 800 000) an of earn was rrunn tn tha tTntted States laa nar. Ca
m billion dollars were paid for them. More than a million and a quarter extra doilan weal iato tfta aoawrf a taa)
farmers for eon this year than taer received for tha previous rear's erop.
The reason for this mar be found in the fact that the people of the United States are becinnisx to laaia aowagHganaa)
corn is and to realise its full food valne.
Kellocz's Toasted Cora Flakes has placed corn amocs tie bvjiyprnsable Items of dallr fare.
The makers, therefore, are Interested tn. the development of the Ktnr of Cereals, and navs deetded to award aTaasnttfal
trophy for the man. woman or child who can produce the best ear of corn in two dxSerent aeaaoci.
TmiJi mm Holden. of the Iowa State Colleee. the .greatest authority on eon tn the vrmrld. will award taevrtn atfTas
.national Cora upositKm. to oe beia atumana. jseouueeemoerata to ism-nw. lwewaiierneawmwan
Mefe eaa b- sad ay
' rown is Jas-ed the best, raw wfil ret tao
and they are: that you send your best ear of con to the National Corn Exposition. Omaha. Seat, beiorw Saveaabea
Z7. 1909: and that von are a member of the atHinalCon Association, run paruewiars rewardmar wal
writing to National Corn. Exposition. Omaha. Keb. Tie a tac seenrelr to roar torcunea and arord It. Vor th
EellocK Jrorhr Contest, and write roar name and address plainly. II yours is jatfeed the best, row wrCI ret tos
trophy for IS10. If you succeed acain next rear or the rear following, the trophy wili becoma roar m lunula Jaw
all time. In other words, you most produce the best ear of oora two different re
Theni will ha no wstriAtkms. k-n wwiww w,ilin h,liiiwtoft lMflaftaailo. Itwdbf I
to every state in the Union. Pufitw Holdaa will Jndse the corn particularly on the basis of aiaiitv. Tbs rt'ia liaj
ot more corn per acre la one object ol toe award, oat toe main parpens ot id lonnrtrr 01 loo nanay a m -
Increasing the Quality of Corn Used in Malting Kdlogss
TOASTED CORN FLAKES
The
Genuine
GomHskes
has this
5igaaiurc
Xaor people think we have reached the point of perfection tn Toasted Cora Flakas as t
bow is. remaps we nave. 11 you naven. t inea it. oecm roar wiacayna in.
eat" today. All grocers have it.
KELLOGG TOASTED COKN FLAKE CO, Battle Oeclc,
J S si S3
07
HOW THEY LOVE ONE ANOTHER. TRAGEDY ON A BANK NOTE
Ella There aren't many faces like
mine.
Stella No; bnt I guess the supply
will equal the demand.
WHAT IS PAINTT
The paint on a house Is the extreme
outside of the house. The wood is
simply a structural under layer. That
Is as It should be. Unprotected wood
will not well withstand weather. But
paint made of pure white lead and
linseed oil is an invulnerable armor
against sun and rain, heat and cold.
Such paint protects and preserves,
fortifying the perishable wood with a
complete metallic casing.
And the outside of the house is the
looks of the house. A well-constructed
building may be greatly depre
ciated by lack of painting or by poor
painting.
National Lead Company have made
It possible for every building owner
to be absolutely sure of pure white
lead paint before applying. They do
this by putting upon every package
of their white lead their Dutch Boy
Painter trademark. That trademark
Is a complete guarantee.
Bitter Words Found Written on a Dol
lar Bill by the Receiving
Teller.
"Yes, I collect queer bank notes,"
said the receiving teller. "Tve been
doing it for years. Tou know there
are some very odd things written on
bank notes sometimes." He pointed
to a one-dollar bill hung in a frame
of black oak on the wall. "Read
that," he said. "And Tve got queer
er ones than that even in my col
lection." On the bank note in red ink was
written in a feminine hand: "Tou
have robbed me of all the rest, and of
my soul also. May this burn your
hand when yon touch it. May all
you buy with it be accursed. Ton
have the last. Are you now satisfied?
Murderer!"
The collector sighed sentimentally.
"Think of the tragedy," he said, "that
may lie hid behind those simple lit
tle phrases, eh?"
A TEXAS CLERGYMAN
True Thrift.
"When visiting a certain town In the
Midlands," says a medical man, "I was
told of an extraordinary incident
wherein the main figure, an econom
ical housewife, exhibited, under trying
circumstances, a trait quite character
istic of her. It seems that she had by
mistake taken a quantity of poison
mercurial poison the antidote for
which, as all should know, comprises
the whites of eggs. When this anti
dote was being administered, the order
for which the unfortunate lady bad
overheard, she managed to murmur, al
though almost unconscious. "Mary,
Mary! Save the yolks for the pud
dings!" Tit-Bits.
LOW COLONIST FARES TO THE
WEST AND NORTHWEST.
Union Pacific Passenger Depart
ment announces that Colonist Fares
will be in effect from SepL 15 to Oct.
15, 1909, to all points in the West and
Northwest.
This year the West looks more
promising than ever. Now is the time
to secure land at low prices, and, at
the same time, to visit the many inter
esting points In the West and North
west, at which liberal stopover ar
rangements may be made.
A better estimate of raw lands can
be made now than formerly, because
these lands are In proximity to new
farms that are producing wonderful
crops. v
For descriptive literature, write
to R L. Umax, & P. A, U. P. B. B
Omaha. Neb.
"Seeing Is Believing."
Herodotus: We are less convinced
by whit we hear than by what we
Speaks Out for the Benefit of Suffer
ing Thousands.
Her. O. M. Gray, Baptist clergy
man, of Whitesboro, Tex., says:
"Four years ago I
suffered misery with
1 n m b c g o. Every
movement was one
of pain. Doan's Kid
ney Pills removed
the whole difficulty
after only a short
time. Although do
not like to have my
name used publicly,
I make an exception
in this case, so that other sufferers
from kidney trouble may profit by my
experience."
Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a bear.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. T.
The Doctors' Orders.
A lady whose husband seemed to be
doing little but lie in the hammock
and eat apples, was asked by a sym
pathetic neighbor what the trouble
with him was. "Doctors," she replied,
sadly. "No, he hasn't come Into a for
tune." A writer In To-Day's Magazine
tells the story.
"Tou see," explained the wife, "he's
been having some sort of matter with
his stomach, and he consulted two dif
ferent doctors about it. One told him
to eat a ripe apple every hour, and
the other said to rest an hour after
eating. So he's trying to do both."
Anything But That,
Little John Is the youngest of a
family of five boys, says the Deline
ator. One day his mother said to
him: "O, John, isn't It too bad I have
n't one little girl? I could curl her
hair and make such pretty little
dresses for her. Don't you wish you
were a little girl?"
"Why, mother," he said, "I'd rather
be most any other kind of animal you
could mention than a girl."
The extraordinary popularity of fine
white goods this summer makes the
choice of Starch a matter of great Im
portance. Defiance Starch, being free
from all Injurious chemicals, is the
only one which Is safe to use on fine
fabrics. It great strength as a stiffen
er makes half the usual quantity of
Starch necessary, with the result of
perfect finish, equal to that when the
goods were new.
His Helping Hand.
First Him When that man fell
overboard, why did you throw the
cigar I gave you after him?
Second Him I thought I heard the
poor devil call for a rope!
W. N. U.r LINCOLN, NO. 38-190.
sigk ieadag::z
IPowJtfvelv cwrwal by
theso Ltttas PlUsw
UAKItJiD
R TTssy als rails is Efts
I IIP tress front Pyasii .arts, Ia
l VER
pills, rz'rr.'
P" I TaeCaltaaaw,Cea
a a Tsatiaa ta am
iJ'', tat. TORPID UTTK,
Taej regulate taa Bowels, rsnj Va
SHALL PILL SSI ALL DOSE. SMALL flSZL
CARTERS
rirrnx
1 f IVER
Genuine Host Bear
Farc-Siniile SignztHTs
j rnrf Itggofwfcrtr trad
This Trade-mark
Bhnioaies All
Viwxrtmxstj
to the porrhase as
as ahwiliiai
awaawy..
irf am
For roar arwsj
protection, seo
it is a Lac aids of
Mi-H Tea G::3
for yon. That's why
ta take CASCARETS for Ever
bowels. It's not advertising talk
bat merit the g22r woo'Tn'
lasting merit of CAsSXlLETS that
we want you to know by trial. Then
yoall have faith and join tbemiL.
lions who keep well by CASCA
RETS alone.
CASCAXSTS e kas far
aid. uAMam 7m
Readers EyZ
.VsTCsV
: what dtay i
Safe! CaalCaf Yowr Face
NO STROPPING NO HCETOC
wonoovn
KJJOWJI THE
race nftucrrrinf i
i HU. BUSUIWJW abndut U-WJAm I .ail a.
apes ta sttMsra. CfaccsM KivrraMtsaaaV
ln;r Eogk RtwrratioM. in 3mM Imsnrw As-p.:-3nta
stxomid rrgicv at PWra Gvwar4ia
to rnt Cm!u .1 ipia.jr af yiwla to ar aw"W
landa. exatbiset at (iml"ti r hi ami las,
re7i9CratuB. Pierre em amrt laa as.
whickareeftiefip is Pierre Laad IKiWrVT.
ii flliBsrs aas awad tawrs- CWw
koosevrrtJa;. Amptaaat ai ai usiMaatWMaa.
AiUasritRa rwri at 1m H. MTm
Regisf erfcr Free Uzzzo
Only offirial map prepared by Stass
Esgineer, showing Ssaadisg Rock and
Cbeysoae lands widt faH iulutimaticst
great land drawimr. aoc sUier. SOUTH
DAKOTA IMMIGRATION A DEVELOP
MENT BUREAU. Pierre S- IX
I I rAwAt'4
HAIR BALSA
af innaaw a lin man.
vut a-
' a xs TaoaxM '
fctUi
it tartu
'-?
sprinkled on top.
