WILL LEAVE JOHNNY AT HOME
Next Time Mother Visits Grandfather
Youngster la Not Likely to
Accompany Her.
"I think the mother f a six-year-old
boy should have a. pension to make up
to her for the mental agony she suffers.-
said just such a mother. "I
took Johnny to his paternal grandfa
ther's last week, and believe he has
cut us out of grandfather's will. Of
course, we send him to Sunday school
and we both attend church, but we
do not ask a blessing at the table, nor
do we have family prayers. Grandfa
ther does, and it happened that the
morning after we arrived Johnny was
excused from the table and went out
in the yard to play. Grandfather led
the way into the sitting room and we
all knelt down in prayer. Imagine my
horror to see Johnny's little face peer
ing curiously through the blinds and
hear him sing out: 'Hey. in there,
what kind of a game Is that you're
playing? Aint you the rotten bunch
not to let n in on it. I arose and
softly whispered to him to run on and
play, and he sang out: "You're it,
mamma, you're It; make a home run.'
Now, what can you do with a small
boy. anyway? 1 can never explain
matters to his grandfather."
WORTH
MOUNTAINS
(MOLD
During Change of Life,
says Mrs. Chas. Barclay
Granitevilie, yt, "I was passing
throutrh theCbangeof Life axidsufierea
I from nervousness
and other annoying
symptoms, and 1
can truly say that
LydiaE.i'inkliani's
Vegetable Com
pound has proved
worth mountains
of gold to me, as it
restored my health
and strength. I
never forget to tell
my friends what
LvuiaE. Piukham's
Vegetable Compound has done for me
during this trying period. Complete
restoration to health means so much
to me that for the sake of other suffer
ing w omen I am willing to make my
trouble public so you may publish
this letter. Mrs. Chas. Bakclay,
lOMX-Graniteville. Vt,
2o other medicine for woman's ills
has received such wide-spread and un
qualified endorsement, io other med
icine we know of has such a record
of cures of female ills as has Lyuia J.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
For more than 30 years it has been
curing female complaints such as
inflammation, ulceration, local weak
nesses, fibroid tumors, insularities,
periodic pains, backache, indigestion
and nervous prostration, and it is
unequalled for carrying women safely
through the period of change of life.
It costs but little to try Lydia C
Vinkham'sVesetable Compound, and.
as Mrs. Barclaysays.it is "worth mour.
TOR LITTLE
FAT FOLKS
Most grateful and comforting Is
a warm bath with Cuticura Soap
and gentle anointings with Cuti
cura. This pure, sweet, econom
ical treatment brings immediate
relief and refreshing sleep to skin
tortured and disfigured little ones
and rest to tired, fretted mothers
For eczemas, rashes, itchings,
irritations and chafings, Cuticura
Soap and Cuticura Ointment are
worth their weight in gold.
Seal rtii . Jl the weeld. TV-nets: leetfes. ST.
Oanafciwt Pam &. Kecate u Paia; A uu--.
B- loan Co, tiydnrr.- lodta. B. K PmuL
jsamTV Lad. TokHt: Kiww, Orrrm. Hoards!
fco Afncs. Lam I Ja.. Oma TTWwn. Me.; I' 8.AJ
iMUac Uost 4I1IM Boat now; Bums
GOMTORT
PUT END TO HIS DILEMMA.
But It Was Queer How the Dear Girl
Guessed George Was Telling His
Own Story.
George stopped rowing, ostensibly
to rest.
"Gladys." he said, with an elaborate
affectation of unconcern, to the young
woman sitting in the stern of the
boat, "there's a friend of mine that's
head over heels head over ears. I
mean in love with a beautiful girl
and as good as she is beautiful. He
has known her ever so many years
and he has been going to see her a
long time, but he's too big a coward
that's what he says to ask her. you
know, if
Here his voice trembled a little and
he paused to wipe his perspiring brow.
"Beautiful girl, is she?" queried the
young womau, idly dipping her fingers
in the water at the side of the boat.
"Loveliest in the world that's what
be says, I mean."
"What's her name?"
"He'd he'd rather not have her
name mentioned.
"Friend of yours, you say? Who is
he?"
"Oh! I dout dare to tell you who he
is. He might not like it."
"Very much in love with her, is
he?"
"Cleau gone. He says it makes him
fairly ache."
"And he's afraid to tell her so?"
"Yes. He says he can't guess
from the way she treats him whether
she er likes him or not. He's a
coward that's what he is."
"What are you telling nie about
him for?"
"Well he asked me what I thought
he'd better do and I couldn t advise
him. 1 suppose I I'd be just as big
a coward as he is. That's why I'm
asking you. Wb-wnat do you think
he ought to do? Tell her and run the
ri-sk?" .
"1 am sure I don't know."
George gasped, swallowed 'aud
changed the subject.
"Isn't this water clear?" he said.
"You can see the saud and the stones
at the bottom. How deep it is and
yet how transparent!"
"Yes." she said. "So like you.
George!"
"lear girl," he whispered 15 min
utes later, as he stroked her hair ca
ressingly, "how did you know I was
telling you my own story?"
"O you goose!" -
' Somebody's Relative.
Mr. Pippin may survive the shock,
but the doctors are making no rash
predictions. Mr. Pippin is a colorless
little man of 55 years. He has no
identity of his own. All his life he
has been known as somebody's rela
tive. First he was Mrs. Pippin's little
boy. Then he was Rosie Pippin's
brother. Then he became Jennie Mc
Oreer's beau. After marriage Jennie
kept her maiden name, among her
friends, and Pippin passed as Jennie
MeGreer's husband. Later he was
spoken of in the neighborhood as
Tommy Pippin's father, and now he is
little Mary Pippin's grandpa.
The other day a ward boss accom
panied by a candidate, drove up to
the front door. "Mr. Pippin. meet
Mr. Smith," said the boss. "Mr. Smith.
Mr. Pippin."
The poor old man is resting easy
to-day. but there is no telling what
the effect of such a surprise will be
on so dtlicate a nature as his. New
ark (N. J.) Xews.
THE DIFFERENCE.
"Who teavbes you at school, Nora?"
"Miss Brown."
"And who teaches you at Sunday
school?"
"Miss Brown with a hat on."
Wasted Opportunities.
The view of the proper uses to
which money may be applied depends
wholly upon the Individual. There are
many who will see nothing funny in
the old man's comment on the uses a
departed relative had made of her
property.
"I dunno what good Elizabeth's
money ever done her," said Mr. Sage,
reflectively. "She spent it all. Give
it away here and there, and bought
things with it.
"No, sir," he continued, ""it wa'n't
much good to her. She didn't leave a
cent." Youth's Companion.
Research.
"De question befo dis debatin' So
ciety." said Mr. Erastus Pinkley, "is
whether de fust egg come fum a
chicken, or whether de fus" chicken
come fum de egg."
"I moves er ameudment," interrupt
ed Mr. Wilkins Marigold, carelessly
hitching his thumb in the corner of
his raxor pocket. "What we is gwine
to 'scuss foh a few minutes is how dat
las chicken you-all had foh dinner
com fum de coop."
kmmw
PAINT. BEAUTY.
Assured of durability, the next
thought in painting is beauty the
complete aim being durable beauty,
or beautiful durability.
National Lead Company here again
offer you the co-operation of their
paint experts this time in the line
of color schemes, artistic, harmonious
and appropriate. You have only to
write National Lead Company. 1903
Trinity Building, New York City, for
"Houseowners" Painting Outfit No.
49," and you will promptly receive
what is really a complete guide to
painting, including a book of color
schemes for either exterior or interior
painting (as you may request), a
book of specifications, and also an in
strument for detecting adulteration
in paint materials- This outfit is sent
free, and, to say the least, is well
worth writing for.
WIFELY SOLICITUDE.
Burglar Hands up!
Wife Oh. John, be careful of those
globes; you'll break them!
Wedding Fee in Installments.
Some of the "squires in rustic New
Jersey seem to be pretty hard pushed
for cash. To get ihe cash they do not
hesitate to use most unusual methods.
One of these J. P.'s advertised the
other day that he was ready and will
ing to marry couples at any time, day
or night, for a consideration of $5 and
that he was willing to accept $1 in
cash down and the rest in weekly in
stallments of SI until the' fee of J5
was paid up. The very night after the
first appearance of this advertisement
the J. P. referred to was called upon
to "make good" his bluff. Shortly after
midnight a couple which had come in
an automobile awakened him from his
sleep and asked to be married under
the installment plan offered in the
advertisement. And the J. P; was
game and made good.
Unfortunately Coupled.
Alison tells how during Napoleon's
Egyptian campaign no sooner were
the Mamelukes observed at a dis
tance than the word was given:
"Form square; artillery to the an
gles; asses and savans to the center."
The command afforded no little merri
ment to the soldiers even at such an
exciting moment, and made them call
the asses demi-savans.
Trifle Too Esthetic
"There's no use o" talk in"," saia
Farmer Corntossel. as he sat down on
the horse trough. "I can't git along
with some o' these here summer
guests." "What's the trouble?" ' "I
have jes' been lectured by that good
lookin' young woman with glasses fur
sp'ilin the color scheme of the gar
den by puttin' parts green on the veg
etables." Measuring Brains.
The cephalic index of old Athenians
was a wee, wee bit better than ours.
Cephalic index means volume of brain.
It is found by filling a skull with peas
and then measuring them. Ancient
Athenians have a few peas on us. The
Greeks never lusted bloodshed like
the Romans and some of us moderns.
New York Post.
Mcther-in-Law Again.
Husband Why do you bate to see
me come home smiling?
Wife Because I know it means
something has happened to poor moth
er. Illustrated Bits.
A New Fad.
Rural Auntie My dear, your moth
er tells me you are going to get mar
ried. Miss de Fad Yes. auntie; it's all
the style now. New York Weekly.
Scones. .
' Sift into a bowl a quart of flour, a
tea spoonful of salt and two table
spoonfuls of baking powder. Chop
into this two heaping tablespoonfuls
of shortening.' Moisten with enough
mCk to make a soft dough, turn out
upon a pastry board and roll into a
sheet a hall-inch thick. Cut into
rounds and bake on a soapstone grid
dle, turning when done on one side.
The scopes should be a delicate brown
in color. Split and butter as soon as
dona.
The German company which is
building a non-rigid dirigible balloon
with a lifting capacity of 54 persons
has evidently not been frightened by
the fate of the big non-rigid Cali
fornia dirigible which broke under the
weight of a large load of passengers
and dropped them to the earth. Un
less the weights beneath a non-rigid
airship are carefully adjusted the
strains are apt to be dangerous to the
envelope when the ship is driven
through the air by her propellers.
Under tne Friendly Awning.
"How it rains! Doesn't the light
ning scare you dreadfully?"
"Not when my husband is around."
"He's a er conductor, is he?"
"Oh. no. He carries a $5,000 acci
dent policy." Chicago Tribune.
Painter's Colic
Mamma What's the matter with
Fido?
Tommte Oh, I was playing with
my soldiers and he feme in and In
sisted upon licking the whole army.
Syr losggi
TOASTED
1,000
For
To be knows
t. b Awei at ike NATIONAL CORN
We offer a $1000.00 beautiful solid gold and sDnr
tr sunn, the first season's Inwimm to be sent to
sri
Taja offer open to cwnj man. wmisn or child in the United State. It win oe judged by tne ifanirn" en
cf the workl. I'ral. P. ti. Hoiden. Watch Uua paper for farther particulars.
KELLOGG TOASTED COKN FLAKE CO.. Battle Creek. Midi.
. He Was Well Equipped.
A Methodist bishop was recently a
guest at the home of a friend who had
two charming daughters. One morn
ing the bishop, accompanied by the
two young ladies, went out in the hope
of catching some trout. An old fisher
man, out for the same purpose, wish
ing to appear friendly, called out:
"Ketchin many, pard?"
The bishop, straightening himself
to his full height, replied: "Brother,
I am a fisher of men."
"You've got the right kind o" bait,
all right." was the fisherman's re
joinder. Success Magazine.
Try the Laughter Cure.
If laughter Is good for the bodily
well being it is equally good for men
tal health. We are beginning to real
ize this. Anxiety, fear, worry are
deadly enemies to the mind. Fight
against them and against every in
fluence that tends toward mental de
pression a3 you would fight against a
temi'taticn to dishonesty.
Don't dope yourself for every little
pain. It only hurts your stomach. Such
pain conies usually from local inflam
mation. A little rubbing with Hamlins I
Wizard Oil will stop it immediately.
tseware or people wno pat you on
the back. They may be looking for an
opportunity to kick your feet from
under you.
WHY TAKE A7JY CHANCES
with some untried m-dicine diarrhea, cramps, dys
entery, when for TO jTrs PainKjiler iPerry lams')
has been relieving- millions of cases.
A man seldom has as big. a bank
balance as he wants acquaintances to
believe he has.
Mrs. 1VTAatows Soothing Sjrap.
Forehlldrea teething. aortea the gums. reUDcen m-n-nnm.iln-n.aliarepatn
mtM-rta-lcoau Stcabo-aa.
The world sprinkled $1,000,000 worth
of pepper on its food in 190S.
A. man who is good only on the sur
face is no good.
The Sunshine Ginger X7af er
"these are called Yam Yums they are made at the
"Sunshine Bakeries" too with the other "Sunshines."
Baked in white tile top floor ovens amid pure air and
sunshine. They are the best ginger snaps you ever tasted.
SnsnDslnnifiie Yim Ymnmas
Dainty wafers with just enough
spice to be appetizing.
We employ infinite skill and
costly material to create them.
You miss the best in ginger
JpSE-yiLES Biscuit Co.
Gold and Silver Award
the best Ear of Corn
as the W. K. KefJosg National Cora Trophy
EXPOSITION, OMAHA, Dec 6 to
trophy for the pei ami grow lug the best ear of earn in two dilTei eat
the National Corn Exposition Omaha. Meb before Nov. 27th 1908L
fm
(Formerly Brown's
Every requirement of
I 1 Good posttSoas n
II owaJtall ol or II
prs-ti-:i eonrttes. modern e-inipment. Ieal itveati
Id I.inoi n. Write for
W. M. RRT ANT. Preit
SICK HEADACHE!
Positively cored by I
these Little Pills. ;
They also reUere Dis
tress from Pyspepeda, In
digestion and Too Hearty
taUQi;. A perfect rear
edy for Dizziness, Nau
sea, Drowsiness, Bad
Taste in the Mouth, Coat
ed Tongue. Pain In the
Side, TORPID LIVER.
They regnlate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable.
SHALL PILL. SHALL DOSE. SHALL PRICE.
Genuine Must Bear
Fac-Simile Signature
REFUSE SUSSTITUTES.
It Goes
Without Saying;
L that yon want a (rood roof er
R t .1 wtciirviirnv nun
your ueiuu " akJin.iu jt.i j
CEDAR SHLXGLES make the
best roofing1 possible. This is
the leading brand.
EXTRA , V..
CI V
U- i .c4.Cav WAOfl.V.- ,:
Yijt .ri'ASKSIEKK DEALER y-rA- !:
MISCELLANEOUS ELECTROTYPES
In freat Tariety for sale at the lowest mires hy
en-tiki iinsrms i jiox. ;j w. i. St.. rtnn
KJW FARMS tU XJi3j
mm
i GARTERS
! II I I iw-w I
iv r k i
CARTERS
C7iTTiE
IflVER
f f
i
i
"The gingery ginger snap
snaps until you taste the "Sun
shine" kind.
Sunshine Yum Yums are
packed in thrice sealed cartons
amply protected from dust
and moisture.
They are at your grocer's in
5c packages.
Try a package judge all
"Sunshines" by them.
18, 1339.
TTflwaG
Business College) liXCOU,
o Rood sefconl la here-a
oar beitntifn. Illnsf rated rtJorrt3.
?io. 1 S Hall BWr.. IJ
This Tradr irk
Eliminates All
UBceriaiafy
fa the pnrc at
rint anUciijh.
if m absciEte
pxanxtee of pes
jty and osjabty.
For yowr owa
protection, are
(hat it on Use awie of
ewery ke-f of white kaal
yoo fc-ay.
A9-
for a Dime
Why - dotW wkn Ma U
Of JA2JMUT3 at awry draaj
aa atrectea -get tzar
Saves many ooflavs
that do not core. V
CASCARETS. Bav
in. uiwof "
CaSCA&ETS xra ks for a
treatment, all dro-ruta. Biawrat srO t
la the world. Ulaaianataraak
3-STEOXE SElf-FEES CAT
LZkrO I T.Mm.ia, ;
J W 1 Tm has la m aawav
aasamawav ;
viarST't . snEfaCTM aattaTfJt
THE AUTft-f EDAJI BAT PRESS COaWAXr
WKST Kft ml M.t.t
MkrcaawIaM KA3AS CTTY.MO.
defiiuce suncn'
W. N.
LINCOLN. NO. 35-19C9.
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