A TRIUMPHAL MARCH
LABOR'S GREAT ADVANCE DESPITE
ATTACK AND OPPRESSION.
How the RlKht to Ora-anlse Has Been
Won Through Centuries of Oppoai-
Ion Men Jailed For Dorian to
Meet to Consider Wanes.
From the statute nf laborers, pass
ed In 13,"1. and tbo statute of appren
tices, passed in 1503 and repealed as
late as 1813. no fewer than thirty ex
press statutes were passed In England
down to 1825 which, among other
things, made the association of work
lilt; men criminal.
, The very circumstance that so much
legislation Intended to be suppressive
was deemed necessary may well indi
cate that the processes began early by
which England was to become the
mother of labor unions.. Wlie e the
thirty statutes of suppression were
written In vain In those year long
past, there were at the close o.' I'.KKi
11101 than 1,000.000 organized wording
men in 1,183 uuions.
It Is claimed that the union member
ship In the United States largely ex
ceeds that of the United Kingdom
now. In proportion to population,
however, industry In Britaiu is - much
more thoroughly organized.
Following the English speaking na
tions in the number, membership and
1 . A 1. ..I 1 1-
tions come Germany, 800,000 members;
France, nenrly 500,000; Austria, more
than 157,000; Denmark, nearly 100,000;
Hungary, over 04,000; Sweden, about
00,000; Norway, 24,000; Switzerland,
about 50.000; Belgium, between 60.000
and 70.000; Spain, more than 41,000.
The figures given are gathered from
the book "Methods of Industrial
Peace," by Dr. Nicholas Paine Oilman,
.just issued by Houghton, Mifflin & Co.
r. Oilman has aimed to treat the
subject of industrial peace more com
prehensively than other writers have
done and to make up in part for what
lie considers "a surprising lack of
books" on this vital matter. He traces
in brief detail the history of combina
tion among laboring men and gives an
interesting reference to the times pre
ceding the unions, when masters were
usually their own helpers. In such
times in the duchy of Magdeburg, for
instance, there were (year 1784) 27,030
masters to 4,285 assistants and appren
tices. ; At present in this country labor is
better organized than capital. It la
Dr. Oilman's philosophical view that
an adjustment of the balance in or
ganization must be one of the methods
of providing for the permanent set
tling of difficulties for securiug the
reasonable and fruitful conduct of
"collective bargaining."
Borrowing a figure of speech, the
author says. "As long as one side is
as well disciplined as a regular army
and tne other more line a nome guaru
there will probably be no permanent
adjustment of the difficulties between
them."
The antiorganization laws were sup
posed to affect employers as well as
employed, but "the law had a very
poor vision for employers acting to
gether, and employers were never
fined, much less imprisoned."
As late as 1817 ten delegates of the
calico printers of Bolton were jailed
for meeting to consider the question
of wages.
In 1812 the central committee of the
Scottish weavers went to prison for
directing a strike to secure wages
fixed b? 0 Justice of the peace and re
fused by employers.
It is well. Indeed, that we are far
away from such misuses of power and
the law.
For our own country Dr. Gilman con
fronts us with the story of a meeting
in Boston in 1832 at which merchants
and shipowners subscribed a $20,000
fund to fight the movement for a ten
hour day. Horace Mann, Itobert Ran
toul, .Tames G. Carter and Wendell
Phillips sided with the workpeople.
Mr. IUntoul defended the journeymen
bootmakers in an important case which
was decided for them in 1812 and final
ly established the right of worklngmen
to combine.
"Trade unionism may have a great
future before it," says Dr. Gilman aft
er devoting chapters to the various as
pects of industrial peace and war,
strikes, lockouts, arbitration, concilia
tion, etc. "I would fain see that fu
ture marked by a deep sense of respon
sibility for large power and by a tem
perate employment of it for the good
of all classes." New York World.
Farm Labor In Demand.
It Is estimated that in seven states
out west 45,000 men will be needed
tills summer to harvest the wheat crop.
Crops are increasing faster than labor
to secure them can be bad. and this,
too. In the face of the fact that nearly
1,000,000 immigrants a year are com
ing to America. Last year college stu
dent were attracted to the west by
the offer of $2.30 a day and board and
lodging, but so many fell by the way
side In the hot sun that scarcely enough
remained to. marry all the daughters
of the rich farmers. Harvesters can
find employment from May to nearly
October, moving up from Texas to Can
ada. Wages arc high, and there is
plenty to eat. With a foreign war now
In progress and the regular demand for
foodstuffs In the countries in Europe
which always buy from Americans on
the Increase, the. outlook for a great
business in exporting agricultural prod
ucts Is excellent. Baltimore Herald.
Labor's Advnnce.
Ill 1812 the central committee of the
Scottish weavers went to prison for di
recting a strike to secure wages fixed
'by a justice of the peace nnd refused
by employer!!.' It is well ludecd that
vu are fur away from such misuses of
grower and the la Wr New York World.
FROFIT SHARING SYSTEM.
Statistiea Prove That It Is Steadllr
LoalnaT Ground.
It Is an admitted fact that the profit
sharing system has uot proved so suc
cessful In practice as its early advo
cates predicted. Whatever advantages
this plan appears to offer in the way
of inciting the workers to greater in
dustry, establishing identity of inter
est between employer and employed
and improving the general status of
the working class, its practical work
ing has been often disappointing.
According to the "Annual Abstract of
Labor Statistics," the number of per
sons em-'oved In profit sharing con
cerns in Great Britain is decreasing.
On June 30, 11)01. it was 53.204, and on
June 30, 1902, it had fallen to 47.271.
During four years 1880 to 1892 the
profit sharing movement was at its
height. Previously to 1880 the largest
number of profit sharing . schemes
started in any single year was seven;
in 188!) twenty were put into opera
tion; in 1890, thirty-two; in 1801, fif
teen; in 1892, seventeen. It is a signifi
cant fact that of the eighty-four profit
sharing enterprises started during this
four year period forty-nine have come
to grief.
The table giving the causes of the
abandonment of profit sharing is in
structive. Twenty-six were abandoned
owing to dissatisfaction of the em
ployees with the results and eighteen
owing to losses or want of success.
Among the other causes are: Apathy
of employees, disputes with employers
and decrease of profits. Certainly this
record of profit sharing experience in
Great Britain does not warrant any
expectation that the plan will ever be
come a general substitute for the wage
system. Boston Transcript.
POWER OF ORGANIZATION.
Transforms the Slave Into n Man
and Makes the Weak Strong;.
Organization transforms the slave in
to a man. It gives a voice to the dumb
and a vote to the disenfranchised. It
makes the helpless irresistible. It
gives authority to those who have been
despised. It straightens the bent back
of the hireling and the drudge and en
ables him to' look his employer in the
face without revenge or fear. It en
ables a common coal miner like John
Mitchell, who was kindergartened in
the breakers and educated in the pit,
to do more for his fellow workers than
could be done by all the presidents of
all the universities in America.
The military general was the first to
find out the magic of organization.
Thousands of years ago he discovered
that a hundred well drilled men could
defeat a mob of thousands of undis
ciplined warriors. A century ago the
great French thinkers, Fourier and
Saint Simon, proclaimed the fact that
organization should be applied to in
dustry as well as to war. Our Ameri
can capitalists were the first to realize
this, and the result has been the piling
up of enormous fortunes and the form
ing of corporations and trusts.
The working people realized the ben
efits of organization at atout the same
time as the capitalists; but, being so
much more numerous, they could not
organize so quickly as their employ
ers bad done. When they are organ
ized completely their numbers will
give tiiem such a political and indus
trial power that the future of the re
public will be in their bands. Herbert
N. Cnsson.
The San Francisco System.
Frank Buchanan, international presi
dent of the bridge and structural iron
workers, in a recent speech called at
tention to the much criticised control
the labor unions have In San Fran
cisco, lie says it has the best system
in the country. No union is allowed
to demand improved conditions with
out giving three months' notice, and it
is positively laid down that no new
demands can be made from the time
work has commenced on one building
until it is concluded. Further, the
president says, when reports reached
there of depression in the east the cen
tral body of all unions at the Golden
Gate ordered that no unions ask for
improved conditions until all evidences
of this depression had disappeared.
Labor Pence For Pittsburg.
Pittsburg stands iu a fair way to
present an example to other cities by
not having a single labor dispute of
consequence for the rest of the year.
In the recent settlement of the sheet
and tin plate scale the last doubt was
removed. It is almost positively as
sured that there will be no trouble in
the building trades this year. The mis
cellaneous trades, including the ma
chinists, structural Ironworkers, boiler
makers, etc., have agreements that do
not expire until next spring or, at the
earliest, the latter part of this year.
The miners are agreed, and the glass
workers, while having small disputes,
are likely not to see any serious
trouble.
LABOR NOTES.
Engravers of the country are organ
izing an international union.
Children engaged in labor In the
United States reach the enormous fig
ures or 1.850.000.
Congress sidetracked until next ses
sion both the eight hour and the auti
injutiction bills.
Co-operation is flourishing in Scot
land. At the quarterly meeting of the
Scottish Co-operative Wholesale so
rlety recently it was stated that the
total business done for 1903 amounted
to 0,395,487. an increase of ilt,3(iH.
equal to 5.5 per cent., while the pro
ductive efforts were valued at 1,540,
445. In New Zealand last year 12.4S1 per
sons drew old age pensions amount
ing to $1,057,970. The total cost of ad
ministering the act was only $19,025.
Gregory of
Hampton
By ANNA S. RICHARDSON
Copyright, 1003. by T. C. MeClure
"Madge, didn't you spend half an
hour in Mrs. Gifford's conservatory
last eveuiug?"
"Yes her orchids are marvels," re
plied the girl quietly. She returned
her father's keen scrutiny without
flinching. Miss Marsden was a worthy
daughter of the great political leader.
"Mr. Gregory was with you and I
happen to know that he is not inter
ested in orchids."
"Gregory of Hampton!"
The words had become the scorn of
the political headquarters over which
Mr. Marsden presided. In truth, Greg
gory of Hampton was a thorn in the
wire puller's flesh. He was unap
proachable, unbribable and, from Mr.
Marsden's point of view, hopelessly un
reasonable. The apportionment bill was strictly
framed by Marsden to give his party
better control of the state legislative
branches. It was not a vicious measure,
but knowing that his heart was set
upon it the younger element, who had
begun to murmur against the iron rule
of ''the boss," had vigorously opposed
the bill.
Its defeat meant the dethronement
of Marsden and the assumption of par
ty leadership by one of the younger
men. Gregory had entered the fight
under instructions from his district
leaders staid, back country farmers to
whom newfangled politics did not ap
peal. Self reliant and gifted with the
faculty of dominating others, he had
unconsciously assumed the leadership
of the opposition and was already
spoken of as Marsden's probable suc
cessor. ,
All this was passing through Mars
den's mind as be watched bis daugh
ter run through her morning's mail
and wished she would speak. But
clearly she was not in a communicative
mood.
"I suppose you help receive at the
governor's reception this afternoon.
Well, go where yon like, though I don't
care for that daughter of his. Only
remember one thing, there is to be no
nonsense between you and this young
Gregory. The apportionment bill gives
us almost complete control, and it's
got to go through. Gregory by his ob
stinacy encourages the opposition. I've
started to put it through, and I'll do it
if it takes my last dollar."
"I hardly think it is worth while for
you to waste money on Mr. Gregory.
He's not that sort."
Margaret had risen and now stood,
pale and tense, before her father,
whose face had turned livid.
"Don't tell me it has gone as far as
that! Would you stand by this man
in preference to your father? Think,
child, think. You're all I have in the
world since since your mother's
gone."
The lips of the political leader twitch
ed. The girl, who was the living,
breathing image of her mother, occu
pied the one soft spot in his callous,
scheming heart. ;
At mention of her mother's name
Margaret turned swiftly and twined
her arms around her father's neck. '
"Father, dear, you make it so bard.
You don't know how I love him. Can't
you two agree and make me happy?"
Her father did not reply, and with a
soft rustling of silken skirts she slip
ped from the room, closing the door
gently behind her.
From ber bedroom window she
watched her father climb into tbe wait
ing brougham. She noted the increas
ing stoop of his shoulders, the languor
of his step. When the carriage turn
ed the corner, she sat down at her
desk and wrote:
My Dear Mr. Gregory I have thought
and thought all night long-, and still 1
cannot give you the answeri you want.
It is useless for me to make false pre
tenses, useless for me to deny my love
for you. And yet I am my father's, all,
and, no matter how happy we might be,
I should always feel that I had robbed
him of the reward for his faithful care
of me. Can't you understand? He has
been so good to me always and 1 owe
him everything. You must make - my
answer for me. This afternoon. I under
stand, they take another vote on the bill
which stands between me and happiness.
Your vote will be my answer. If It is
"No," do not see me again. It will be
easier for us both, and surely you owe
my love that much consideration. Faith
fully yours, MARGARET MARSDEN.
;
The ladies' gallery of the assembly
chamber was thronged with brilliantly
gowned women. The fourth day of
the deadlock, and rumor had gone
forth that there were prospects of a
break. Members on the floor bowed
to acquaintances in the gay array of
butterflies. Gregory of Hampton sent
but one long, searching glance in their
direction, but in that look he caught
a vision in the background, a slender,
ifray growned figure. A chiffon veil
hid ber features, but under tbe droop
ing brim of her bat he caught the
glint of bronze gold hair. For an in
stant the hard, set look died from his
eyes, and a tender smile rested on his
lips. Then he glanced toward Mars
den's desk. A group of men fawned
upon the leader, who seemed not to no
tice them. His face was gray white,
his eyes a steely blue. But Gregory of
Hampton read behind the look of grim
determination to the years of inter
minable struggle, to the home life
sacrificed, the wife love neglected,, all
for political power. And this same
power lay within his own grasp if the
apportionment bill failed.' Leadership
of men or life companionship and the
love of a pure woman? The plaudits
of the public or the caresses of a love
for which he hungered as he had nev
er hungered and longed ami yearned
for anything in all his busy, success-
ft life? The house was called to or
der. Cold perspiration bathed his mo
tionless figure. His arms were crossed
on his breast. His eyes were fixed on
the speaker.
Sudden silence fell upon the floor
and the crowded galleries.
The clerk cleared his voice and nerv
ously adjusted his glasses! Marsden
sat with the tabulated vote of two
days before in his hand. To Margaret
it seemed as if the alphabet held a
thousand letters. Would the "G's"
never come.
"Finch!"
"No!" Faint applause. , t ,
"Garrity!"
"Aye!" Mingled hisses and cheers.
"Gorman!" Gregory's eyelids quiv
ered just a trifle, and his glance shift
ed for an instant to the bent head
with its glint of bronze gold.
"No!" Increased applause.
"Gregory!"
For one brief second Margaret's
heart stopped beating.
"Aye!" 1
Every reporter at the tables above
the speaker's head took a fresh grip on
his pencil. There was a sensation.
Consternation spread over the faces of
the men who had been following Greg
ory's lepd. The machine element
cheered, and the speaker rapped for
order.
Marsden folded his arms and glanced
at the gallery, where Margaret had
suddenly risen and was now making
for the entrance. Just what part had
she played In this little drama, he won
dered. With Gregory on their side vic
tory was assured. When he finally
made his way through the crush after
the vote was concluded neither his
daughter nor Gregory was in sight.
The former had entered her coupe,
said the doorman, and another man
told him that some one had seen Greg
ory swing into a hack,, and tbe driver
had started the horse up at a terrific
pace.
But Gregory had not followed Mar
garet. It was dark before his ride end
ed, and he came back to town a trifle
white in the face, but with eyes serene
ly happy.
Marsden came upon them In the li
brary and extended his band with
awkward attempt at cordiality.
"I am glad you could finally see
things our way," he commenced. The
words died on his lips.
Margaret and Gregory turned toward
him, and there was that in the latter's
face which stilled the voice of the po
litical leader. He gazed dumbly at this
young man, born to lead, whom no
amount of wire pulling, no offers of
political preferment, no bribe, however
alluring, could move and yet who for
love of this slip of a girl had deliber
ately turned his back on a brilliant po
litical career.
Would be have done as much at the
same age for love of this girl's moth
er? He looked up suddenly, and his
glance met the eyes of bis wife gazing
at him wistfully from a large oil paint
ing. How often her eyes had met his
in real life just that same way!
For the first time in years something
like a prayer of thanksgiving welled
up from the heart of the "boss." The
apportionment bill turned miserably
Insignificant. Without a word he turned
upon his heel, but at the door be looked
back, and a smile of . real liappiness,
not triumph, rested on his thin, blood
less lips. His daughter's head rested
confidingly on the shoulder of Gregory
of Hampton.
Rat Canning:.
The rat has often demonstrated his
Intelligence. Perhaps the best known
instance is that of the rats which, rob
bing a poultry yard, could conceive of
no better way of carrying oft the eggs
than by getting one of their number
to lie on his back and clasp the eggs
on his stomach. Then several rats
pulled their recumbent brother's tail,
while others pushed his shoulders.
Thus egg after egg was safely hidden
in their burrow.
A rat has been known to cross a
swollen torrent in Scotland seated on
a swan's back. Other rats have made
friends with dogs and feci from the
same platter. When the dogs were
absent they would never feed, know
ing that the presence of their canine
friends meant safety.
Although when driven desperate
with hunger they will devour one an
other, in times of plenty their affec
tion is almost human.
A Sussex clergyman has told how he
saw a number of rats migrating from
one district to another, and in the mid
dle of tbe company was an old blind
rat with a twig in his mouth, by which
he was being safely led by a younger
rodent.
Instances of rats leading blind com
rades by the ears to feeding places and
placing food close to -their muzzles
have, been observed more than once.
This is more than many human beings
will do for their weaker brethren.
London Express.
Gluttonous ISna-lisnmen.
Bluffkins wandered in at the club
the other night and drew hts chair
close to the fire.
"I wouldn't be an Englishman for
anything!" he ejaculated. "Tbey have
tbe most gluttonous appetites on rec
ord." "You cawn't prove that, bah Jove!"
said Mr. Algernon Hawkins, who lived
on chops and swore by his majesty.
"I can," replied Bluffkins, with un
ruffled composure, "and here is the
proof. I was riding home in an elec
tric last night. Two Englishmen sat
iext to me. T 'ave just bought a
stove,' said one. 'So 'ave I.' said the
other. 'But mine is the best on earth.
It cooks my breakfast in 'alf an hour,'
said the first. 'Jove,' said the second,
'that isn't anything. I can 'eat my
stove In five minutes.'".
And even Mr. Algernon Hawkins ac
knowledged that the Englishman did
have a pretty solid appetite.
How Stumpy
Learned to
Subtract- SSU
Copyright, 1903, by T. C. MeClure
In Munkersville everybody 1 agreed
that Stumpy Dent was silly; not very
much off, but off. Pa Dent " himself
did not deny it. Of course ma was an
exception to the rule and vigorously
denied everything and anything that
touched on tbe softness of Stumpy.
And toward - pa,' because of his sittin'
on the fence attitude, she assumed a
frigid front.
"Silence is jes' the same as consent,
Dave Dent," she complained bitterly,
eying her spouse with a shrewish look.
"Shame on ye, an' him your own flesh
an' blood!"
But Dave paid no heed to these out
bursts. As a matter of fact, pa was
past speaking . to Stumpy. He had
fought the good fight and failed. In
time perhaps, be allowed, intelligence
might penetrate to Stumpy's brain.
Good humored, fat and flabby.
Stumpy had seen nine healthy sum
mers. His eyes were blue and watery,
his cheeks dimpled and red. Rain or
shine he wore a hayseed hat two sizes
too small for his abnormal crown, kept
In place by an elastic so tight that it
puckered and reddened his skin. His
pants were drawn up three Inches
above his knees, and, though ma tried
hard to prevent it. Stumpy's kneecaps
were always exposed, for Stumpy bad
a weakness for curbstones and mar
bles, and rather than stand on his feet
he hustled along on all fours.
In school work Stumpy was disap
pointing, two grades behind the times.
Yet he could read, spell, add to the
thousands and would attack millions
if he dared. But, oh, subtraction, sub
traction not even a standing black
board example could enlighten
Stumpy's mind!
His long suffering teacher, like pa,
was nearing tbe exasperation point,
when suddenly a happy thought occur
red to her. She had observed Stumpy
on the curbstone playing marbles.
Sure! He must have marbles in his
pocket. He did have them, a bulging
pocketful, jealously guarded, and after
a struggle she successfully extracted
three. But it was all she could do to
get them, and for days ber soft, white
hand retained evidence of the getting.
"Stumpy Dent," she cried, with blaz
ing eyes, "now tell what I have done!"
"Cobbed ma marbles," wailed the
outraged pupil, with streaming eyes
and waggling toes.
"Hush, bush, sonny. I'm going to
give them all back to you. I'm only
trying to show you what subtraction
is. Now, how many marbles had you
when you came to school?"
"Twelve," shouted Stumpy.
"How many have you now?"
One by one Stumpy counted them
and considered. '
"How many?" repeated the teacher.
"Twelve when ye give 'em back
fine," calmly announced the' hopeless
one.
From pent up forms a roar of, boyish
laughter made sensitive Stumpy tear
ful and tight as a clam, and away
went hope like tbe filmy wake of a
dream. .
Of course Pa Dent soon heard the
story and looked sadly at his son. He
himself had tried the practical illustra
tion scheme, but the lad was unrespon
sive. "Stumpy," he demanded, shaking the
boy's fat hand a little roughly, "do you
like school?"
"Yis," was the glib reply.
"Then you must do better or I'll take
you away."
Now, Stumpy spoke the truth. He
really loved his teacher. School was
his heaven, and in his clumsy way he
had tried hard to catch subtraction.
But it wasn't pa's threat that awaken
ed Stumpy. To Darby Peck, the town's
leading grocer, must be given the cred
it Darby had a way with him, such
a way that for every customer his
rival, Bollinger, boasted, Darby could
set up four, and Darby had just open
ed a branch near Stump's school.
"Naw, the laddies' trade ain't much,"
he admitted, "but A'm a-caterin' t'em
jest the same." ,
Here hitherto Bollinger had held full
sway. But Bollinger was mean, hard
as nails; he didn't give marbles away
with every five cent purchase. But
Darby did, so Darby corralled the
school. Bollinger tried hard to get it
back. At half price, as a lure, be ad
vertised squeakln' balloons and sticks
of candy, the chowchow kind. Who
wanted squeakln' balloons and chow
chow candy? And again Darby went
him one better:
FREE! FREE! FREE!
Five dollar bill to the boy or
girl who guesses nearest the num
ber of peas in this bottle.
His store was besieged. The school
playgrounds were deserted. Troops of
madly excited boys and girls flung
frantic guesses at the delighted grocer.
Tlug-a-Iing! Ting-a-Hng! Vainly,
across the way, the janitor swung his
bell high above his head, then down to
his weak old knees, and the brass gave
out its utmost.
"No, no, no; every guess must be
written, and I will take none till 3
o'clock this afternoon," cried Darby,
dismissing1 the disappointed mob.
But one boy, regardless of the Jani
tor's peremptory mandate, remained
glued to Darby's window, mumbling
to himself, his chubby fists clutched
tightly at the crimson sill, as he dump
ed his toughened knees against the
freshly painted panel. It was Stumpy
Det, and he was thinking .yea, he
was reasoning- Where bad he seen a ...
bottle just like that one with tbe peas?
Ma had one just, the same down in tbe -..
cellar. Sure!
Suddenly, when the white aproned .
assistant peeped out of the'' door.
Stumpy melted. . Hookey? Fine he
knew what hookey meant, and ma ..
mustn't see him get the bottle naw,
nor tbe peas! And she didn't.
At 2 o'clock that same afternoon Pa
Dent came unexpectedly upon his off- ,
spring. Pa seldom disturbed the stable
loft till the evening, when he brought
the .horses in, and thereore had. Stum
py chosen it as a fitting place folus
operations. A newspaper spread length
wise, the French prune bottle, a pyra
mid of peas. Stumpy carefully count
ing every pea he dropped into the hot-
1 n atwl .A.. l... ..-I. It.. ... . . i.f V. '
etui, iug nuitc vl ihc
newspaper a record of red chalk
strokes that was what pa saw when
his head topped the open trap.
"Stumpy!" he cried sharply. "What
are you doing? -Why are you not at
school?" , ,
Taken in the act and breathless from
the shock, , Stumpy did not reply at ;
once. Under such strong incriminat
ing circumstances the grand' Impulse
of the ordinary boy ' would hnve been
instant confession and "take the con
sequences." Not so with Stumpy. A
splendid evasion loomed up before''
him. '
"Subtractin", pa," he gurgled, dabbing .
his finger on the last chalk mark so as
not to forget his total.
"Ah, I see!" said pa. .
, Certainly the excuse was a feasible
one. He had told tbe teacher to send
Stumpy home if he became too dense.
Left, to himself, pa said, subtraction
might come in a flash, but the jeering
of his companions would make bim
worse. - Sensible Miss Marlow had act
ed on bis advice. . , Yes, that was it, ,
and pa. quite satisfied, descended the
ladder from the loft ; When he disap
peared Stumpy smiled and went on ''
adding. ' ' '
Came 3 o'clock, and Darby ..was
again besieged. Every; boy and girl
in Munkersville had a guess to give '
in,, and every slip bad to be carefully
examined. At last, amid breathless - '
silence, Darby, beaming like a harvest
moon, 'mounted a chair and. in loud -tones
cried:
"Nine two two is the winning num-. ?.
ber, boys, and Stumpy Dent guesses "
nine two one! Stumpy gets the bill!"
Wild was the scene in Darby's. Up
and out went Stumpy on the shoulders
of the fifth grade gang. And pa, driv-.
ing home in his buggy, felt a lump in
his throat when he heard the loud ' .
cheers for Stumpy. . J
"How did you do it, sonny?" he ask- ,
ed when the demonstration was over .
and the boy safe at home. " ' '
"Jes' this way," whispered Stumpy.
"I fetched ma's prune bottle from the
cellar. Darby's was jes' the same in
size an' wi' the same wee rid label
on the neck. .' So I - filled ma's bottle-. .
neat wi' peas, emptied 'era out on' the
newspaper an' counted 'em as I filled
It up ag'ln. That gave nine two .
"Ha,' ha, ha!" laughed Jubilant pa.
"Come, Stumpy, lad," he cried, count
ing but five shining silver dollars- for
the bill; "come an' we'll put your mon
ey in a bank!" . . '
. It was a miniature Iron bank, a pen
ny in the slot affair, and the silver rat
tled and rang as it dropped to the lit
tle vault below.
"Now, Stumpy," said pa : proudly,
f'that's your first deposit, an' it draws
interest at 5 per cent in one month."
But when the month was up and pa
pried open the lid only three shining
dollars demanded 5 per cent. Stumpy
had learned to subtract.
Applicant In the Wktok Room.
During the excitement of a physical ;
examination of candidates for places -on
the police force in city hall a mild
mannered man wandered into the room
and somehow got mixed, up with the
aspirants for places on the force. He
was instructed to remove his clothes
partly, and in a few -minutes was hard
at work with the other men In the
room, raising dumbbells, inflating his .
chest and undergoing a general physic
al examination. '
"Run around the room," he was com
manded, and, on a trot, be made the
circuit of the room a dozen times.
Almost out of breath, be stopped
then and inquired: ' -
"Look a-here, what else have I got to
do to get my license?" 4
"What license?" queried the' surgeon,
in surprise.
"Why, my marriage license. That's
what I came in for," was tbe reply.
"Say," said the surgeon, "you're in
the wrong room. I thought you want- .
ed to be a policeman. The license
bureau is downstairs." Philadelphia
Record.
A Frlsbtfnl Accident.
A laborer was on his way to his
work, one morning as a through train
was about to pass a little station
where a crowd had assembled for the
way train, due in a few . moments.
A child who had strayed to the edge
of the platform seemed about to lose
her balance in her effort to get a good ?
view of the oncoming engine '
Quick as a flash the workman jump- "
ed forward, tossed the child back to a
place of safety and was himself grazed
by the cylinder, which rolled him over
on the platform pretty roughly, jf
Several people hastened to his as-'7
slstance, but he rose uninjured, ahv 1
though with a face expressive of grave
concern. ; '-;
"fonfonnd It! Just mv luck!" he ex
claimed, drawing a colored handker
chief, evidently containing luncheon,
from his pocket and examining it rue
fully. ", ,7v.:V; ' - -"What
is it?" inquired the onlookers. ,
"Why. the salt and pepper's all over
the rhubarb pie, and the eggs well, I
kept telling her something Vould hap-'
pen if she didn't boil 'em harder?' -. j
v
