POETRY.
The I'nrmrr.
The farmer in happy man,
It ruinc nil Ik needs, sir.
The foremost stands of nil Hie tan.
All occupations leads, sir.
r.i' lr furnish beef ci iohIi ,
His lift ji, :i Iiph p (f wool, nir.
Hi i'!n..li"n hearty and tough,
II in cutlers slwawn full, nir.
I f in bnrnn are large ami well fillfil,
Willi hay, niul rum, and rye, sir,
Ilia orchard rich, hi land wo II tilled,
Both fruit nml food supply iir.
Hin cellar in the autumn rimwi,
Of roots, ft bounteous store, sir,
He's well prepared fur winter's snows
What could a man waul more, Mir V
I I in liois.m kept in fun! rate trim,
For wnpm, chaise, or ftlelgh, nir,
Arc ready now, to carry him
At nny llmr of day, nir.
Hill cows are many, and the host
Tho country ran a flui d, sir,
1 1 in butler, cheese, Mini milk attest,
llin bnrim have been well stored, nir.
Hi pig arc of the Suffolk nort,
Yon never hear thorn nqucnl, nir,
Because they never are kept nhort,
Hut filli'il with rorn ami meat, nir.
llin hens are not of Stm iijiIih i nort,
He i hooBcn not by site, nir,
An 'KK'n an egp, ami when 'tin bought
An largo a rain snpplien, nir.
llin turkey ami bin gecne are fine,
Of bo'll he haa a ntore, nir.
In fart, the farmer ban a mine
Richer than golden ore, nir.
llin very been are " btiny," too,
And fill hin hive with rnmb, nir,
They have an much an they ran tin,
To bring hin honey home, nir.
Who wouM not choose the farmer's lot !
What though he has to work, Mir,
Much hanplnenn by toil in got,
Hut who wouM like a shirk, nir?
There'll la ml enough for all young men,
Our country in a great one,
Junt pull up slakes ami hasten then,
Where fortunes rich await one.
AGRICULTURAL.
Kugur Cnne.
The New York Hernld sny: The
Chinese suar-enne seed, distrihuled by
the Putent oflico last Spring, promises to
be n, complete success ut the North. A
package of seed was planted in Hacks co.,
Pa., b'.ilude 40 decrees North, and
has arrived nt maturity. The iimximum
height of the stock vaj ten feet, and the
preduct in praiu much greater than any
cereal under cultivation. The stalk is
perfectly green after the seed hus reached
maturity, ami the snrhnrine principle is
then fully developed. Tho juice which is
most abundant, is very saccharine, quite
as much so n the variety of cane cultiva
ted at the South. Whether the juice
contains ll same amount of chrystnliza
ble sii'ur, villains to be tested. Should
it be found eual to ordinary cane in that
respect, a new era in the agriculture of
the North will be inaugurated, and an im
mense breadth of land be devoted to cul
ture, as soon as the necessary seed can
bo obtained, which will reouire another
year at least. The seed having been
distributed late in the Spring, which was
cold and Iwckward, there is good reason
to believe that much planted did not reach
maturity. Should the plant fail, so far as
tho manufacture of sugar is concerned,
yet its value as a forage crop cannot bo
overestimated at the North. Cattle, hogs
and horses eat the entire stock with avidi
ty, and no doubt would fatten rapidly on
it. The seed, which is small, has a thin
black hull which can be taken oil", leaving
a fine white flour as tho residue. We
have no means at present of estimating
the value of this flour as an article of food;
but no doubt its merits will be fully inves
tigated. The culture required for the
plant is similar to that adopted for indian
corn when planted in rows, and the seed
should be put into the ground alniut the
same time. As it is a quick and strong
growing plant, it should be well manured.
In a foflner number of this paper we
noticed the receipt of a small quantity of
Molasses, manufactured from cane grown
in our vicinity. From experiments made
here, and from the successful issue of the
trial in Bucks County, which we give
above, there is no doubt in our mind, that
the culture of this variety of enne can be
made a profitable business, and the North
em States, will, in the opinion of many,
in a short time le able to supply a portion
of that article to the consumers at home
We wish the gentlemen who have some
of the seed of this variety of cane, would
favor us with a small quantity, as there
has been several apnliiaiious made to us'
, ...... i
ior some iq piani me coming ssprnuj.
A Thing r.very Farmer should
Know.
If you wish to drive a cut-nail into sea
soned oak tmibi
or bend, just hav
near by and dip th
and it will never
carts and plows
for they are generally made most of oak
woou. in Btraigntening oia nans is iore
using, lot it lie done on wood, and with1
easy blows. If done on iron they will be
cure to break.
it, una not nave it i.ieak or more tunes, with u lmiihl ot two narts niOLI.SALE .M) RETAIL STORE.
c a small auautiiv of oil Moraine, and iwo nans Venetian soan. i . ' T '!,,'", Mill Co., Iowa. The uu-
,e nail before driving, ! with -JO or 30 twrts of cold solution of IvV:.? n!:
fail to go. In mending caustic potassia: then add one nart of r.ict it,
this is of great advantage rcarlash. and cold lev millu ieni m nrn.bii ! t-ii i ivn ii-ivti-h r.i.-.m
I
Itiink olc l-.iira lug.
Hy tin; improved hum of engraving
hank note plates, b flat piece of Mot I, of
In- ivpiisito illiiiiMiHHiis, is fir.-t prepared
mi. I on it tin i iiiMiixrr ruts u i.'ii"tti, n
ih (i i 1 1 1 1 1 : l 1 1 1 t liiruri', or tin1 n'-ii'-tnl loi
tering. Fal'li of thi'.-o parts is engraved
on a separate piece, called n lied piece,
nml nn in. pnioti is then taken upon n
lull, lirM softened lor that purple, nml
lip n Mil is'mj utMit I y hardened. These sevc
nil liiinli'iii'il die nn- afterwards trans
(Vrrt'il tn their appropriate places on ilio
plilto to In llMi'd fur printing til'' Holes.
Th" ground work ulKiut tin numerical
figures is produced ly n machine (ailed n
geometrical lutlii. A plan to render
counterfeiting almost impossible, is to ilin
peine wiili dies, :i i id lme tin; outre laic
of tin lull eiioravcd on iln plate as a unit
tli.it in, In have llio device iniiili' up of
one connected figuers or view, with the
words nml denominational figures so in
terwoven and repented that no imitation
of tho same (-oiild In' Hindi' with a suffi
cient degree of exactness.
Inirnt ciiiciit In llool A Nliors.
An F.nuliuli ini'iliaiiic 1ms devisod n
ihmv plan for thn coiiMtniction of boots and
shoos. It consists in forming the uiidcr
solo and scat of the heel (hat it may lit
easily adjusted in tho scut, or ho readily
removed, repuired and rolitted, or a new
oiitt Hiiluinttcd. here ilesireil, pasMiies
or priMives nre forined in tho inner top
surf lire, which louiinumrate with the
atmosphere, nml through perforations in
itt the inner solo, with the foot, there is
stamped, or otherwise formed from leather
pitta perrha, or suitnlile material for tin;
undersoil? of hoots und other like nrtirles,
a piece which forms tho mile, waist and
sent of the heel. Tin? sent is hollowed in
th centre, niul is formed on tho inside
w ith n sunk pitman or rim for the reee
tion of the heel. Tho plan presents de
cided advuiitaLTe.s.
tuull) of Vent Jh.
For some time past, gas has been man
ufactured from peat, in Paris. In mea
suring the comparative illuminating pow
ers of coal and peat gas, the result has
been found to be in favor of neat, its
power being three hundred und forty-two,
while that of coal is one hundred. The
manufacture of peat gas is also described
as more simple than that of coal. Tho
neat, if put into an iron retort heated to a
low red heat, all'ords immediately a mix
ture of permanent gasses and viqiors
which condense into nn oleaginous liquid,
which two products separate on cooling.
The oil is subiect to a new distillation.
and resolved wholly into a permanent gas
and hydrogen very richly carburretted.
rueful !nt rut ions.
A washing machine, on an unique
plan, has been invented, the clothes being
placed in a slatted cylinder, made like u
squirrel cage, said cylinder having within
it at earn end, an oblique corrugated
loard, und when the cylinder rotates, the
boards cause the clothes to tumble from
one end of the machine to the other, thus
assisting the cleansing. A new printing
press lias licen brought to public notice
It consists in the employment of a rota
ting and reciprocating cylinder, and also
in u peculiar inking device, niul fly, which
catches the sheets as they issue from thi
press. The machine is simple in ill con.
struct ion, can he allonled nt u low cost,
and is not liable to get out of repair.
Artificial Stone.
The new artificial stone made by Mr.
I'a isoiiie, the inventor, is formed by mix
it g tho lluid silicia of soda with sand and
other material, varying according to the
required result, And thus forming a kind
of thick paste, moulded readily into any
shape. Kxposed for a time to the air,
this gradually hardens by evaporation of
pari of the water, and when put into a
kiln, the water is more rapidly and com
pletely given oil', the result being a per
fectly soliM mass, the original jHirticles of
sand lioing now cemented together by a
kind of glass, forined by the silicate of
soda raised to a red heat.
Manufacture of Mineral Teotli.
Artificial teeth are now made as hard
as the natural. They are forined of
flints or quartz rock, and feldspar. Quartz
and feldfHir are both very hard sub
stances, but rendered still harder when
mixed or fused toy-ether. A iriven pro-
Hirtion or feldspar and of flint are ground
together, in a mortar or on a .slab, to an
,- . i ,i .1 i
uuili'r'l llllUIIJ'tllilt iwwi(-, Llllll 11 UI3lc
made of this powder is fashioned into
the general shajie which may be desired
for the teeth.
c Mode of Propulsion.
An improvement has been made in
propelling boats, coiu-istino; "m an arran-.-incut
and combination of the ordinary
endless chain norse-jniwer, with puddle
I i ,i - , -
wheels, whereby the raising and lowering
ol tne paiMie-wneeis to suit the various
Ol I II It
depths at which the boat i nks in the va-
, ' ,', . ,
the endless chain horse
fr( ni. jirothicrt t varpii'le itichiKitton of
power in propor
tion to the weight of the load.
Marbrliring Plaster Object.
Objects in plaster of Paris are now ren
dered like mai l le, by cent in;
l!u
'in, one !
perfect flexibility
Fan-ity in soI-cting the truth, and
courage to honor it, uivordiicr to its degree,
determine our own decree of 'jnodne-.s.
SCIENCE AND ART.
AMEKIC N AMI OHM. IN M.
THE KNICKEE BOCKER MAGAZINE.
Ki'iirn nv I,iilm (iriin Ciark.
f I1HK number fur .famiarv. I"iil, beinn the
.1. Korty-Seriiml Volume of the Knickerbock
er M.igiino.
Since lli p r i t-r nf n ilisi ripl ion h.n been rc-
iluceil fioiu I'm- to llit lull. im a year, the
nn nl. ih. m nf tin- K mi k ninii k I R li-n been
increancil nearly four to one. In many places
ten are taken where there wan but one before,
niul through the year it ban been steadily in
cre.miii''. It in now nlo-reil an cheap as any
of the Magaine. all tbincn eonniilered. In
nleml of funking new nml proiligioun promises,
we submit a few extracts from notices of late
ii it in ! t H. which we might extend to n number
of p'lgen.
"Those familiar wiili the I'diior's Muii'blv
'(lossip with his Headers,' have doubtless,
with ourselves, admired the pareimial source
of its wit and joousness. In this nuiiihrr
' The (insHii' holds on its way like koiiic fair
rivulet cjlanrini; anil danciiu: in the sunshine of
a Miv nun iiiiur. He used to wonder how
Mr. Claik could bold out. evpect iiiur be must
cirl.iinly 'let down' in the coming number:
but thin number ciw no nii'n of ruliamlioii."
National Intelligencer, Washing!'"".
"Pleasant, peiiirtl, ilelijrhlful 'Old Knick 1"
'Iliy name is a nii(ritestion of things delectable ;
the sight of thy modest, fresh cover, a balm
to spiritual sore eves; a glance within thee,
best antidote fur the blues. Thou nasi given
to kindly humor, to piquant delineation, a ml
to side.sililling fun, a 'local habitation,'
without which they might go wandering over
the domain of lettern, railing now and then
where a friendly door opened to them but re
fusing to be comforted for the loss of their
old dear home.' Courier, Huiliiigton, VI.
"'Hie great rare evinced in the selection of
articles that adorn its pages, is a snllicient
gnaranlvtli.it nn contribution meets the eve of
the reader but those which are known lobe
worthy of hin perusal. When storms anil
wild tempests are sweeping o'er our bill-side
village in these chill winter hours, and Is
drear and desolate without, we ask for nf)
more agreeable companion than the 'Knick
rmioi kkh' t, for while its contents impart
valuable information, its sallies of genuine
wit are a sovereign specific for all fits of the
blues or attacks nf the horrors, and time
passes merrily on." Democrat, l)oj lestown,
retm.
"The KNirKrnnncKF.H has been ami will be
a fact of itn own ; a genuine living thing, all
the more desirable now that the new crop of
magazines, filled with articles pirated from
Knglish authnra, makes fresh home creations
more conspicuous and welcome. New
York Christian Inquirer.
Rev. F. W. Shelton, Author of Letters from
'lTn the River,' etc., will be a regular con
tributor. The brst talent in the country will be cn
lii.ted, and no expense or effort spared, to
make the Knii kkiiikx kf.b more than ever de
serving of the first position unions our ori
ginal American Magazines.
I f.HMS. Ihree dollars .1 year, strictly in
advance there will be no deviation from this
condition; Two copies for $." 00; Five co
pies, ami upwanls, (H) each. Hooksedlers
and Postmasters arc requested to act as
Agents. Those who will undertake to pro
cure subscribers will receive favorable terms.
Specimen numbers will be sent gratis on ap
plicul ion, post pa id.
I N U U C V. M V. .N J S KOK CLU I 11 1 XG. The
K n i r k F Riior k i. a. nml llarner's, Putnam's.
Graham's or Godey's Lady's Book will be
sent one year for five dollars; the Knickfr-
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year.
POST A Gn. Two cents per number, pre
piid at the office where the works is deliver
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Ail remittances ami all business communl
cations must be addressed, post-paid, to
SAM I I.L HUKSTOX,
3 IS Kroadway, New York.
HALLOl'-S PICTORIAL
DHAWING-ROOM COMPANION.
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most elegant ami avanahle rorm, a weekly
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Its columns are devoted to original talc3,
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BEST AMERICAN AUTHORS,
and the cream of the domestic and foreign
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with numerous accurate engravings, by emi
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contain views of every populous city in the
known world, of all buildings of note In the
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both male and female. Sketches of beautiful
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with numerous specimens from the animal
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The whole forms n mammoth weekly paper of
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Which for prire and durability are unsur
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(iletiw'Hid, Iowa, O.-t. :!, S ii-,.tf
I
THE FLAG OF OUR UNION.
av rtriMKT, mo mi. ano Rrrtn
MISCELLANEOUS FAMILY JOURNAL
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fur the instruction and amusement of the gen
eral render. An unrivalled corps of contri
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CHEAPEST
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THE PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL.
Devoted to Phrenology, Education, Self
culture, and all those progressive measures
d.Vigiied ,r the Elevation and Improvement
of .Mankind. SI a year, or .hJ cents for six
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terest of man, written in a clear and lively
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Tribune.
Sl.01d.ini .i.itiioi ii v in all maiiers pertain
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and the superior character of the numerous
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with which we are acquainted." American
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T AXKEHS VXD LAW AGENTS, Council
1 i
mum, roiow.o .nine county. Iowa.
Creene A. Weir- I . I .r IM..;.!. I
Wcare k;;; ivVtlMidnes. .i.
I o lecions made ; Taxes paid . and Land,
purchased an I sold, in any put ol l -.n. .f
T II I R D V E A R
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t 'O S .M OI'O I. I T A X
PROSPECTUS.
The mai'.vcineiit of this new and popular
Institution iimni'iiir", wi'h pleasure, that ar
rangements for the third year have been com
pleted on the most extensive scale. Works of
American Art, ami the encouragement of
American genius, have not been overlooked.
Commissions have been issued to many din
tinguisbed American Artists, and a special
a gen' has visited the pea' Art Repositories
of En-ope nml made careful Selections of
choice Paintings, Bronze and Marble Statuary,
Jkr &.C Among which are the follow ing ex
oulsite pieces of Sculpture, executed from the
finest Carara marble.
The New and Beautiful Statue of the
"WOOD NYMPH."
The Ibis's of the Three Great American
Statesmen,
CLAY, WF.liSTF.lt AND CALHOUN.
. Palmer's Exquisite Ideal Bust,
"SPRING."
Together with the Rusts and Statues in Mar
ble of
APOLLO AND DIANA.
The Struggle for th Heart, Psvche, Venus
and Apple, Child of the Sea, Magdalen,
Innocence, The Little Truant, and
The Captive Bird.
Besides which, are numerous Statuettes In
Bronze, Medallions, and a large and choice
collection of beautiful
OIL PAINTINGS,
bv leading Artists s the whole of which are to
be distributed or allotted to subscribers of the
Association r.RATciTocsr.v, at the next An
nual Distribution on the 2Xth of JANUARY
next.
Terms of subscription.
The payment of Three Dollars constitutes
any person a Member of the Association, anJ
entitles In in to
FIRST The large and costly steel Engraving
"Saturday Night, or any of the monthly
Magazines given neiow, one year.
SECOND A copy of the Cosmopolitan Art
journal, one year an illustrated Magazine
or Art.
THIRD A share in the Annual Distribution
of Works of Art, comprising a largo num-
hcr ot Paintings, Sculpture, &c., &c.
The following Magazines are furnished to
those who prefer them to tho Engraving
Harper's Magazine, Godey's Lady's Book,
Knickerhocker Magazine, Graham's Maga
zine, niackwooil's Magazine. Southern Lite
rary Messenger, U. S. Magazine, Mrs. Steph
ens' New Monthly, and the British Quarterly
Keyiews. I.itteirs Living Age, (Weekly,)
iiuii two iiieiniiersiups, ior 5o.
I hus it is seen, that for every SI paid, the
subscriber not only gets a three'dollar Maga
zine or Engraving, but also the Art Journal
one year, and a Ticket in the Distribution of
Works of Art, making four dollars worth of
reading matter, besides the ticket, which may,
in addition, draw a Beautiful Painting, Statue,
or other Work of Art, of great value.
No person is restricted to a sit"le share.
Those taking five memberships are entitled to
six engravings, or anv hve of the Magazines,
one year, and to six Tickets in the Distribu
tion. Persons, in remitting funds for membership,
will please give their Tost Office address in
full, stating the month they wish the Maga
zine to commence, and register the letter at
the Post Office to prevent loss . on the receipt
of which, a Certificate of Membership, to
gether with the Engraving or Magazine de
sired, will be forwarded to any part of the
country. For Membership, address
C. L. DERBY, Actuary, C. A. A.,
At Eastern Office, 3 IS Broadway, New York,
or Western Office, ltiti Water street, San-dus-ky.
Ohio.
READ EDITORIAL OPINIONS.
"From the New York Evening Mirror."
Throughout the country there are thousands
of persons who purchase or subscribe for the
leading magazines, at book stores, all of
whom, by joining this Association, will not
only receive their literature for the same
mnny as before, but will be, in addition,
equal and free participants in a rare art-work
distribution. They also receive that beauti
ful quarterly, the "Art Journal," free.
Such an enterprise cannot fail to command
the approval and patronage of the public. It
has a basis as firm and pure as its objects are
beneficial and noble. There is no reason why
it should not become national, in its claims
upon the people. Originated and conducted
by intelligent, reliable parties, the new Asso
ciation is entitled to every confidence."
I trust the Association will be eminently
successful. Its very liberal inducements com
mend it strongly to the patronage of the pub
lic. LJitiiiiu idyior.
"From the Louisville Courier."
There is no danger of losing bv this Insti
tution; it is no chance affair; you get the full
worth of vour money, and have the satisfac
tion or aiding the Fine Arts."
"From the Water Cure Journal."
The Cosmopolitan Art Association seems
to prove highly successful, as it is beneficial.
The plan on which it is founded is an excel
lent one.
'From the Buffalo Morning Express."
Let each individual remember thre itiinu-a
that by his subscription he secures a fund of
Pleasant and profitable reading, or a splendid
r.ngravmg, amt entitles himself to a fair
cnance 111 tne distribution, which disseminates
ami encourages good reading and a taste for
the beautiful and elevating. How can $3 be
more proiu.iiiiy expended r
"From the New York Evening Mirror."
We are not surprised to hear that hundreds
ot subscribers are pouring in daily. Our only
surprise is, that the hundreds do not swell to
thousands, since every subscriber gets his
money back certain, in the best literature, or
an elegant Engraving, and his art chances
grans.
"From the Louisville Courier."
The Cosmopolitan Art Association have re
ceived amt are constantly receiving large num-
ners or subscribers from all quarters. We do
not wonder at it. Almost every individual is
utli..lr 1... II. 1 ..... .f . . ...
o.., j ,r mivtimagfg oiiereu py ting in
stitution. Each member receives a splendid
Engraving, or becomes a subscriber to some
uiie nf Our rVi'i-!!. lit Mar.17.if.r-J. -m l r.;,...
it rcgiilaily for one year, paving no more than
the subscription price, lle'also receives that
beautiful puhlicMion. tb. .rt Journal,' free
of charg, and, at the same time, stands a
chance of drawing some one of the numerous
Works or Art to be distributed. Therefore
it simply amounts to this: if you are taking
some Migazines, renew your subscriptions
wi'h the Cosmopolitan Art Association If
you do t.ot take a Magazine, then send your
name in, by all means, and supply yourself
with reading matter, at the same time' helping
to disseminate art over our land
FAMILY FLOUR.
dir. 5 ,l.J-:i. i .... , r . . .
i-v" , ' "11 "an n
Mills. Vfn. . fro m Waverly
! Forwarding .V Co,',i,Hion M 're!
ll.-!eU,e. Oct. :!. H.V..-'f '
VARIETY.
Old John.
Old John was quite a temperate man
That no one could deny,
lie drank his water tempered with
A trifle of " old rye."
For John believed in warming drinks,
And tonic mixtures mild,
As he was often troubled with
His stomach's getting rye-l'd.
Old John was not a pious man
Hut yet he oft did feel
The spirit's influence o'er his soul
In pensive moments steal.
Old John was not to falsehood prone.
Nor truth nor virtue scoffed,
Yet, though he rarely spoke untruth
I've seen him lie full oft.
Though trrim of feature and austere",
Nor oft by mirth beguiled,
And, though he very seldom laughed,
No man more often smiled.
A " hard case" he was often styled,
Hut, though a rough old fellow,
A hard case he could scarce have been,
lie was so often mellow.
They called him dissolute and loose,
As with much truth they might,
Hut yet 'tis strange they called himooie
When always getting tight
Though flushed Ins face,his nose bloodred
His hair of sanguine hue,
Yet people often would persist,
And say that John was blue.
John had no music in his soul,
It was not in him born ;
Yet though he could not raise a note
He sometimes tried a. horn.
Though bold as youthful David, who
Before Goliath stood
John slew no giants with his sling
Ah! no ! 'twas he got slew'd.
But now he's gone! death called him when
His earthly toil was done,
He smiled his last and then teeiif off
Half -cocked, like some old gun.
Mr. Cajsar, a darkey preacher on a
southern plantation, had made an appoint
ment to preach about twenty miles from
his master's plantation, and there he made
his appearance with his saddle bags 011
his arm, and gave out at once that he had
come to preach the Gospel to the niggers
thereabout.
" Yah ! yah !" responded a hundred
voices ; but one ot the negroes, more bold
but not worse than the rest, sung out:
" Well, now, look a-here, nigger, if you
jis brung a pack o' cards wid you, you
incut dim sumhu, but preach 111 is a little
too slow for dis congregation."
Car-sar remonstrated with them, as they
all seemed to fall in with the old fellow's
ideas; but they told him to go home, and
" de nex time he come to bring de cards."
Cicsar started off with his saddle-bags on
his arm, but halted, opened them, and
turning about as he said, "If dat's what
you must have, why, den, you must !" and
pulling out a greasy old pack, sat down
on the grass.
" Dat's de talk : O de land, jis look!
dat nigger got some little senses left arter
all : scnsibul to de last !" they cried out,
one after another. The preacher com
menced operations, and after some five or
six hours' playing, had skinned every
thing around, cleaning them out of all the
loose silver they had picked un in many a
day; Caesar shoved the documents intothfr
bags, and starting off again, told them, by
way of a parting benediction, that when
ever they had a little mpre money to sup
port the Gospel in that way, just to let him
know.
The following specimen of "Young
Americanism" we think is to good to be
lost:
One night Freddy had been put to bed,
and mother and Johnny were in an ad
joining room. Presently Johnny cut up
some caper, on which mother threatened
to take him into the other room and whip
him.
" Mother," said Freddy's voice under
the bed clothes, " I know where I'd take
him."
" Where ?" said the mother, whose
curiosity was excited.
" I'd take him under the left ear !"
Punch is wicked enough to print th
following paragraph under the head of
" Social Statistics." Married gentlemen
will read it and take' warning :
"Thirteen married gentlemen, who,
within the last week or so, have been con
victed of having smoked in their own,
dining room, have been severally fined a
new bonnet, and in default, have been
committed to the hard labor of taking out
their wives for an afternoon's shopping."
The New York "Dutchman" says:
" Machinery has reached a great state of
perfection. We saw some burnt peas put
into the hopper of a coffee mill the other
day, and in less than two minutes it was,
occupying n place in a grocery window,
labelled " Old Government Java."
A Frenchman, pasconading over the
inventive genius of his countrymen, said:
" We invented lace ruffles !"
" Aye," said John Hull, "and we added
shirts to them !"
The contents of gun-1-arrcl.i bring more
soldiers to their bier, than any other.
They are particular in Schenectady.
A boy was arrested recently for spitting
in the i auul.