The Joy of Not Having ft
By o. o. McIntyre.
I hav* a friend who spent the
weekend with a vary rich man In
Westchester. Ho came back to town,
lefreihed tdr his Job and glad he had
never made a million.
He saw what a terrible aort of life
Ida host lived. He hod riches but no
freedom. Wherever he went he was
trailed by bodyguards. When he
went motoring, a duplicate motor
went first as a decoy.
He was afraid to open mall, afraid
of his food and otherwise lived the
life of a hermit. It Is said r very
rich New Yorker In his club one night
said: "The best you get out of being
rich are gout and lumbago."
Oscar Wilds In one of his keen ob
servations once said he saw only two
tragedies in life. "One of them.” he
said, "is not getting what you want.
The other Is getting if."
Another great philosopher has not
ed that the dnly real material joys are
anticipatory. When we get what we
have long wanted, we don't give a
hang for it.
I have become more and more Im
pressed recently with the happiness
you find In people who are working
N for some goal and the unhappiness
of those who have achieved the goal.
A great business man plays his
trump cards and then loses his iden
tity. He becomes a corporaiion. The
man who Is up early trying to put
over this business deal or that finds
art hourly kirk to life. He comes into
simple contect with people. He is
blessed with good fellowship.
Of course, no matter how much we
philosophize we can't reco'melle our
selves to poverty. That Isn't peb
ble. Nor is it needed. But it does
seem to me' that those of us, like
myself, who are hitting the middle
road are not as appreciative as we
should he.
I have never talked to a rich man
for any length of time th^t lie didn't
Invariably hark hack to the "good :
old days"—and those days were those
of struggling to get ahead. 1
Trying to beat the game seems to
them to be a glorious adventure but
actually heating It was no fun at all.
I am not Inclined to believe this Is a
pose. I think It quite sincere.
In a certain smart hotel's tea room
I often watch those bored young
»^
with the light-hearted young women
w-ho go to work dally In the big office
buildings ami stores. They are able
to make an event out of a simple
lunch. A box of chocolates and a
seat In the balcony at the Saturday
matinee finds them flushed with hap
piness.
And finally t used to find myself
pitying people who did not live In
Xew York, but after many years here
I have come to realize that the people
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Park How (lobbies take up dance stops and tunes from the Harlein
Black Bolt.
women who seem to have everything.
Their jewels are from the Rue <1e la
I’aix, their limousines are crested anti
a footman in uniform occupies the
front seal with the chauffeur. Their
furs are the finest from Russia, and
the Russian wolfhound costs the price
of a pleasant home in the suburb.
And then I contrast their boredom
who get the most opt of life are the
very people I used to pity.
A young man who turned the spot
light on Broadway scandals In a zippy
monthly magazine has been sen
tenced to federal prison for six years
for blackmail. Here was a young
reporter who had a brilliant career
before him when lie left the news
paper shops to embark on this
quixotic adventure. We happened to
know him before he began pandering
to low Journalistic tastes. Six years
in prison! And Just for a few hundred
dollars that might have been honestly
gained with fnr less effort.
Harold McGrath Is the lightest
Weight novelist In the world. He ran
not tip the well known beam at 100
pounds. Bide Dudley is the flyweight
newspaper man. He weighs 91 pounds.
Irvin Cobb once met Dudley in Park
Row. "How much do you weigh now,
Bide?" he asked.
"I have gained two pounds." said
Dudley proudly. "I now weigh 91
pounds."
"Ninety one pounds.'* said Gobb.
' We u»ed to have a darkey rook In1
Padurah who had a goitre that weigh
ed more than thnt."
David Belaseo. angling for a little
puffery, defends hla exploitation of
painted Indies on the stage and says
he will give any “lady of the eve
nlng" a free ticket If she wdll call for
it at the box office. "Dadies of the
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■ —-0
On th’ Weather
-. _ --*\
Ther's lota o’ pew fangled things
t' discuss, but th’ weather still r#
mains th' pop’lar'ole standby, th' one
subject that kin be strung out Indef
initely, an', best of all, th' ope sub
ject almost ever'buddy knows some
thin’ about. "I picked up a stranger
th' other day an’ hauled him eight
or 10 miles, an’ had a most delight
ful an' interestin' exchange o' views
on th' wijather," said Tell Binkley
t'dny. "We never mentioned caves
or th’ radio at. all, but started right
In on th' weather. I opened up
somethin' like this: ‘Ther's a little
dash o' winter In th' air t'day,’ an’
then we went on—
“Yon certainly said a mouthfful.
When I turned in last night It wuz
warm an' springlike, but I surely had
t’ fire up this mornln’."
"Well, this sort o' weather's good
for us."
"Yes. I don't mind this weather.
"Ther's no kick on cold, dry
weather.'
"I guess It gits purty cold up
around Mlnnesoty, but It's th' dry
cold.' *
"My wife's folks live In Mlnnesoty
an' she says they don't think nothin'
o* th’ dry cold. You see they know
how t’ dress fer It, an' when It gits
cold it stays cold an’ In a week or
two they don't notice It.’’
‘‘Yes, It’s th' damned changes that
git me. I'd a lot rather It'd git cold
In November an’ stay cold, th’ good,
dry kind.”
"I hate sloppy weather, It’s bad
under foot an’ then It's penetratin’,
too. Dry cold weather don’t pene
trate like damp cold weather.”
“It’s t’ be colder t'morrow.”
"Well, this Is th’ seasbn fer It.”
“Yes, this Is th’ season fer It.”
"Ther haln’t nothin' gained In lit
tie mild spurts o’ weather at this
season.”
evening" must get a chuckle out of
that. Imagine them clamoring to the
box office, shouting “I’m a painted
lady. Give me one down front on the
aisle.”
However, Dauntless Dave Is a first
rate press agent and his latest rave
was spread eagled throughout the!
press. 1 have always thought his'
trick clerical collar was one of the
best bits of self advertising the Rialto
has ever seen.
And who, by the way, gets the most
publicity of any man in New York?
I am inclined to believe It is Irvine
Rerlln, the rag time exponent. Berlin
Is no shrinking violet, but he does not
go out after publicity with a blud
geon. The drama of his life makes him
a natural target for those who write
about New York. From a Chinatown
singer for pitched nickels to a mil
lionaire with a theater hearing his
name is something few have achieved.
A very close second In publicity is
Flo Zlcgfeld. Rut he goes for it with
a gusto. He knows Its value In the I
theater world. One month Ziegfield'sj
bill for newspaper clippings from a I
- I
bureau was more than $1,000. Ho
stopped the service right off.
H. I>. Mencken also had s disas
trous experience with newspaper
clipping bureaus. It so happened that
in one week a dozen syndicate writ
ers and two press associatiops men
tioned him. Whereas 14 clippings
would have sufficed, he received thou
| sands.
Vagrant negro tunes and dance
steps continue to drift to Broadway
'from the cabarets In the black belt of
Harlem. The Charleston dance step
is now danced by the park avenue
debble. Here Is the senseless chrt-us:
Skiddle up skat!
Skiddle up skat!
Oh, skiddle up, skiddle up,
Skat! Skat! Skat!
And here's still another ditty called
the "Scronch":
Ron kutta tung,
Ron kutts tung,
Ron ka tung.
Dance big black boy!
Hey. hey!
(Copyright, 19?S.)
"No, we've got t’ keep a fire any
how."
"If It's jest nice underfoot I’ll not j
kick.” •
"Well, If It’s a hard, dry snow I
don't mind.”
"It soon packs an' makes good
walkin’.”
"Oh, ther's no kick on dry snow.
I like t’ hear It squeak under foot, J
an' th' walkin’ hain't bad."
"Th' wheat, o’ course, needs snow."
"Yes, th' wheat kin use all th’ show
It kin git.”
"A good, cold, crisp day puts some
pep In a feller."
"Yes. I find I feel better when It's
around zero."
"Well, I think ever'buddy does."
"Well, I think they do too.”
"It's when It gits t' meltin’ an's
bad under foot, an' feels sort o’
springlike that gits my goat."
"Mine, too.”
"Take last Sunday, * lot o' folks
enjoy a day like that, but give me
th’ dry cold."
"I'll take dry cold ever’ time."
"1 never blow my nose durin' long I
cold, dry s)>ells, but jest let it get t'
thawin' an' bad under foot."
"I'm th’ same way. Slush an'
springlike air alius gits my nose t'
goln'.”
“It's pneumony breedln', too."
"I wuz goln' t’ say that a while
ago."
"But I hate a cold Aprile."
"Yes, a feller sort o’ looks fer mild
weather In Aprile. I'll take all th'
snow an’ cold they kin give me durin' j
th' winter mon'hs. but I want spring
weather w-hen spring weather's due.”
"Well, I think we re all about alike
on that, Vept th' mal man. Ha. Ha'"
"What car's this’ Th' engine cer
tainly sounds good, th' car rides
easy, too."
"I turn north here." ,
"That's fire. I’ll git out. A little
walk never hurt nobuddy. Much
obliged."
"Not at all, I assure you."
Aurora Churches Leading
Central City in Contest
Aurora. March 7.—In tha conteat
lietween the church#* of Aurora and
Central City for March, April and
May Aurora 1* ahead with a acor* of
73.1 against 651 for Central City. In
this contest one point I* *cor*d for
Ihe attendance of each man or boy
over 14 year* of age at Sunday
school or church In Aurora th*
Christian church won highest honors
last Sunday, lt‘s gcoro being J#1 for
the three services. This was
the best attendance In either of thv* ^
two cities.
For doctors like such folks as these
Who hibernate and court disease.
PRICES SLASHED
Our Second Allotment
of Oakford Stock of
Band and Orchestra
‘ Instruments Goes on
Sale Monday Morning
l.ack of diaplajr space prevented us from placing all ef tka im
mense stock of band and orchestra instruments secured from the
Oakford Music Company stock and Monday morning we place
our second allotment on sale at tremendous reductions. If pan
ever expect to buy an instrument NOW is your opportunity to
get a quality instrument at a genuine bargain. Come this week
before these bargains are taken!
EASY TERMS
Pay only a small amount down, then easy month
ly payments. Your old instrument accepted as
a substantial part payment,
Harwood Alto Saxophone, uaed for jj
a short time only. Highly polished jj
brass-pearl keys; complete with jj
case. Regular $98.00. $67.00 jj
Cello and Bow. A fine practice instru- jj
ment. Always worth the price asked if ji
resold; worth double $27.50 ij
Slide Trombone, new. d* 1 /? E/Y
Regular *22.00 .ijUO.UU
__________Flat - Beck
..... ^ , , Mando lins.
Violin Cases. This lot includes used and Sneeial nriees
shooworn cases formerly selling at *16 00. . ,»oeL
50c '”$5.00 ..?■*
‘ . —r e g u I a r
' ‘ ' *18.50 value.
High Grade Flutes. Regular selling price St —
.$10.00 $6.50
__ _ I
We are exclusive representatives for the celebrated J. W. York
A Son band and orchestra instruments. Also Gibson and Para
mount string instruments.
If You Can’t Call, Write for Special Bargain List
Sdimolkr SJUfldkr Piano Cb
l5H-J6-18-Dod£e - OimIu -
me future I
learest Au- I
Dealer for I
: a conven
ayment, or I
J I
lom/umy^ I
j Ford Motor Company, Dept. N.
I Detroit. Michigan
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Pleaee mall me full particulars regarding rout easy
; plan for owning an automobile.
i :
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; Town- Slat* •
j IT IS KASY TO OWN A CAR TimOlir.il Tl 111 Pl.AN j
3 a l
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ESSEX
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But theextmafvr copying«>f the Coach
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A Car You Will Be Proud to Own o°.tue«t «r». caonot be cam«i to
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It .s the finest Essex ever hu.lt It is Surely you cannot he satisfied with less H»dao« -nd ^ w 00# quaUty.
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! >
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I9IH Harnvy Street Telephone AT Untie SOWS
A,»ect*t« PmIv
MAKMON HAYWARD. Inc. 241S Famam St.
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