f T o d a y I
Who Next?
Exciting Times.
No Telepathy.
| A College of 60,000.
ARTHUR BRISBANE^
A note from the president has
forced Mr. Daugherty out of his at
torney general's office. He could
not do otherwise than resign, al
though it was understood the presi
dent intended that he should retain
his office until the close of the in
vestigation.
That would have seemed a rea
sonable program, in view of the
fact that thus far the chief wit
nesses against Mr. Daugherty have
been two confessed criminals and
one excited lady. However, in or
out of office, the truth will come
out.
A congressman is Indicted for
grafting.
With Daugherty out, attacks will
come undoubtedly on other mem
bers of the cabinet.
Attacks on dead men, that can't
reply, are particularly numerous.
Mr. Vanderlip, who used to be
the head of the biggest bank in
America, Jias insured his life for
$1,000,000, the money to be used
in hunting down graft—in case
murderers dispose of him, to end
his activities.
We live in exciting times.
Learned Harvard gentlemen—
who might be more usefully em
ployed—will undertake thought
transmission or telepathy, from
Harvard to Paris, across the Atlan
tic ocean. It’s a harmless pastime,
and if the gentlemen on both sides
have enough imagination they will
believe that they have accomplished
something.
Meanwhile it is fortunate for the
human race that slowly, through
the ages, men have learned with
the spoken and printed word, that
they can transfer thought from one
brain to another satisfactorily.
There never will be any such thing
as telepathy on this limited planet.
Naturally, with millions of peo
ple thinking, and thinking about
each other, within the limited 24
hours, many interesting coinciden
ces happen. They deceive with
false hopes and beliefs those that
pay too much attention to coinci
dence.
Newton D. Baker, secretary of
war under Woodrow Wilson, tells
about a college to have 60,000 stu
dents and be the biggest in the
United States. He has seen the
plans.
Mr. Baker refused to give any
details as to who is the organizer
of the college, but says it will be
too big.
It needn’t be, if the professors
use radio. Students can be gath
ered in little groups and all can
hear the learned professor as he
sits talking in his study.
The old University of Paris, with
■J**1ts thousands of half-starved stu
dents, some of them going up into
steeples to write their lessons by
the light of the moon, for lack of
money to buy candles, and attend
ing lectures before daybreak, was
much bigger, for its date, than a
60,000-student university would be
now. Modern science makes every
thing possible. _
Butler Brothers, one of the big
gest Chicago concerns, withdraws
firearms from its list of articles for
sale, although it has done a busi
ness in that line of $1,500,000
yearly. This shows public spirit.
But criminals will get revolvers,
plenty of them, just as they get
plenty of bootleg whisky. You
can make it difficult for decent men
to get weapons for self-defense, but
not hard for criminals to get the
same weapons for attack.
Otto H. Kahn, who once was
poor and now has a wagonload of
money, did not lose his common
sense in accumulating his money.
His son wants to play the saxo
phone, and that must be agony to
an artistic man like Kahn, who
really knows something about
music.
But he says "anything is better
than loafing,” and encourages his
son to organize his saxophone or
chestra.
Mr. Pinchot set an example to
other fathers when he allowed his
daughter to develop her talent on
the stage, in that marvelous pro
duction, “The Miracle.”
It is a million times better to let
your daughter work and develop
the power within her than to keep
her sitting around, waiting for some
little person to come along and
marry her.
President Coolidge. In a gentle
New England sermon.to a group of
small boys, tells them “work hard
and behave yourselves.” There
could be no advice much harder
for boys to take. Children are sav
ages, savages hate work.
Boys are full of pent-up energy,
and that makes “behaving them
selves” most difficult. The boy that
behaves himself most perfectly, sad
to relate, is quite often the boy
that amounts to the least later on.
And the boy that behaves him
self most outrageously from the
point of view of some good old
lady, often turns Out to be the
ruler and leader of other men.
However, “work hard and behave
yourselves” is good moral advice.
A republic will probably be pro
claimed in Persia. It is one thing
to proclaim a republic, another
thing 4,o have a real one. It cer
tainly will be a republic with an in
teresting background—old Persian
kings surveying the battlefield fipm
their high thrones of gold, the Per
sian ruler that had to be told by
one of his slaves where and what
Greece was, then ordering that
slave “to remind me to go over and
destroy that little people at some
_^ convenient moment.” Then the
► unhappy “great king” with his hun
dreds of thousands , of men, his
fighting elephants, his great palaces
and his loads of gold, hunted to
his miserable death by Alexander,
who camo from barbarous Mace
donia with only 30,000 men.
Good luck to the new republic of
Persia. Jt has an interesting past.
(Copyilfht. 1(24.1
$
Gorgeous Scenes
in Orpheum Act
Offering of Joseph E. Howard
and Associates Most Pre
tentions of Season.
Seenlcally, the headline offering of
Joseph E. Howard and associates at
the Orpheum this week, is the most
pretentious seen at this vaudeville
theater this season. The production
has other features which place It In
a class apart from the ordinary acts
of its kind.
The dancing numbers of Tillis and
l,altue are really noteworthy. "The
Bells of St. Mary." vocal and instru
mental number, offered in a pretty
setting, by Misses Harrow, Pratt and
Miller and Evelyn Clark, nroused
merited applause. The blending of
harp, violin and melodeon with the
voice was a pleasure. The wedding
scene at the close of the act was
sumptuously presented.
James J. Morton, known to vaude
ville patrons on his own account, is
with Mr. Howard’s company to fill in
between the scenes with his charac
teristically funny monologues and at
the conclusion he does a bit with Mr.
Howard.
"I Wonder Who’s Kissing Her
Now," and "Where Is Your Girl and
Where Is My Girl?" were sung by
Howard as encores. Miss Clark scored
an individual hit with her song num
bers, particularly “Don't Forget the
Name, Don’t Forget the Number."
Vaughan Comfort, with Jimmy
Jones at the piano, sang his way into
favor. His song of mother was ren
dered with tender feeling. He has a
voice of quality and volume. Roger
Imhoff is back again with his com
edy skit, in which he plays the role
of Michael Casey, belated peddler
nine miles from home, with a load of
vegetables and a dead horse. His act
arouses much merriment.
Arthur Stone and Marion Hayes arc
on the bill. Anita Diza has a monkey
act of only passing interest, Bert
Lahr and Mercedes have a comedy
act and the Three Mevol Brothers
excel in acrobatics.
LOVERS AND LIARS
AT THE EMPRESS
"Lovers and Liars," a whirlwind
melodrama was staged Sunday by
the Bert Smith Comedy players at
the Empress theater.
VI Shaffer, leading lady of tfie
company takes the role of the daugh
ter of an old miner who is supposed
to be living in a camp near the
mountain ranges of Nevada. Going
to the camp the young girl finds
that her father Is not there to wel
come her as she had expected.
Warren Fabian, the most danger
ous gunman on the ranges of Ne
vada, breaks the news to the miner's
daughter. The gunman and the
young girl become very good friends
and at the end they Join the ranks of
matrimony.
Billy Van Allen, the laziest man in
the camp, together with Flo Des
mond, Melvin and Curtiss, Stella
Watson and Joe Marlon fit in the
cast with some musical selections.
"Forgive and Forget,” the love
drama was flashed on the Empress
screen. A man who tries to win his
wife by providing her with sums of
money and not kisses finds out that
he is absolutely wrong.
The wife becomes entangled in a
serious love affair with a professional
golfer who Is later killed by his
friend. The court scene where the
prosecuting district attorneys try and
get evidence of the right man Is ail
wrong. Man and wife are finally re
united.
MELBOURNE PICKS
UP CHICAGO RADIO
i
By Associated Press
Melbourne, Aus., March 30.—Music
broadcast from Chicago, distant about
10,000 miles, was heard distinctly here
tcnight. Songs. Including "Carolina
in the Morning," were distinguished.
Chicago, March 80.—A Jazz soloist
appearing on the opening program
of the Chicago Tribune radio broad
casting station at 4 this morning
sang "Carolina in the Morning” to
radio fans 10,000 miles away In Mel
bourne, Aus., tuning in at t last
night._
AL JOLSON HERE
FOR FOUR DAYS
A1 Jolaon. king of tlie troubadour*,
comes to Omaha "today for a four-day
engagement at the Bmndeia theater,
beginning tonight. It will be Joison's
tlr*t appearance here In aeven year*.
Jolson la the greatest drawing card
in the theater today. Packed houses
greet him everywhere.. He is said
to be the highest paid performer on
the stage, his income reaching half
a million dollars a year.
'•Bomtwi" is the vehicle in which
Jolson is appearing this season. He
is surrounded by his usual large com
pany of entertainers and a big beauty
chorus.
Joy Sutphen, manager of the
Brandeis, says ft fsn’t necessary yet
to pry your way into the theater, as
good seats are still obtainable for
every performance. "But don't delay
too long,” he says.
Acrobat Risks
Neck at World
Lowly Opening and Cloving
Acts Are Most Entertain
ing on Bill.
Mr. Kafka of Kafkq, and Stanley
cheerfully risks his blooming neck at
each and every performance of the
new World Rhow, In a heart-wrench
ing feat that brought screams from
folks in the front row of yesterday's
audiences. He accompanies this and
other trapese stunts with a cheery
line of jest.
Such is the lowly opening act. But
it and the supposedly lowly closing
act form the most entertaining parts
of the bill. The Mounters, also a
stunt performance, is made up of
daring feats of novel nature, enliv
ened further by a pretty woman and
a funny clown.
Coming now to thp headliner of the
program, Higoletto Brothers with the
Swanson Sisters, a sort of mixture of
two acts, contains much entertain
ment, Including the strength and agil
ity of the brothers, the beauty and
grace of the blond sisters and the
windup ensemble in a novel comedy
episode.
Teka is a puzzle and left the audi
ences guessing as to whether it is
human or mechanical. Louis Win
sel played the bass viol with all the
technique usually possible only on the
violin. Howard and Lewis won ap
plause with a line of jokes and chat
ter.
Arthur Hays has an attachment to*
his organ (or a concealed human be
ing) that he rang Into ills rendition
of “I Wonder Who's Dancing With
Tou Tonight." It was as much a
mystery to the customers as Teka.
Sounds just like a human voice.
"The Marriage Market,” movie of
|U*enso7chiipre(cripdon quickly 1
relieve! children and adult*. J
ApU«..nl rrrup. NoorUtM.
35c and 60c *txu Mid
ARE YOUR CHILDREN
UNDERWEIGHT?
If the answer is “Yea,” it is quite likely that they are
not getting the right food. They are being fed plenty, of
course, but are not properly nourished by what they eat.
FREE
TO
TOD
You Min toll Tory mmIIj
whether yonr children
•re underweight by
fining the Information
In thla ralnahle
publication.
fntalna Height and
Height Tables
far both
Boys an«l Olria
Approved by
IT. 8. Bnreaa of Kdneatlaa
a*vc rnm
Torn copt
SOW, PI.r.AMR
Your children cannot be thoroughly healthy and happy
#s long as they are underweight—but they can be built up!
Just use this coupon today:
ITEN BtSCi;IT CO., Omaha, Neb.
Please lend me a free copy of the Healthy
and J-tappy Children folder.
My name la---—
Street —-— --- •
City___ Stale- ,
(I'lMH PRINT Plainly)
feting, is a really entertaining love
comedy.
"The Marriage Market" I* a Mt of
a* reeli satire on the tendency of par
ent* to marry their daughters to the
best advantage and to Include In the
bargain a lift* of benefit for the
whole family.
Pauline Garon makes an admirable
modern day flapper, who gcta herself
into scrapes through her spirit of do
as she pleases. Miss Garon has de
veloped unsuspected possibilities as a
maker of fun on the screen.
Jack Mulhall and Alice Lake and
Shannon Pay carry the other leading
roles and the four have a well bal
anced and amusing ^llm—even though
It may be a bit improbable at times.
BERNARDHASNEW
IDEAS AT GAYETY
"Columbia Burlesque" Is Just one
good show after another — and
"Happy Go Lucky” fs one of the best
of the season. Hughey Bernard Is
a new producer who brings new
ideas to meet the competition for
novelty that keeps "Columbia Bur
lesque" always distinctive. He brings
new scenery and costumes, new prin
cipal girls and new featured players
in the tcomical persons of Kelso
Brothers. Right with them Chester
(“Rube") Nelson plays along. Pretty
girls are Florence Darley, Arlone
Johnson and Estelle Dudley, graceful
dancers and sweet singers, who lead
the merry maidens of the chorus
through many entrancing sessions
of song and dance. There are thrills
—rwil thrills—in the performance of
Delmar's Fighting Lions and there Is
speed and excitepient In the work of
the Four Whirlwinds,
iMSsai
I Twice Today. Mat. 1S-50c; Nit# lSc-fl I
HOWARD & CLARK I
T In "Etching. From Lilt" ?
I Vaudeville'. Most Pret.ntloua I
Production x I
a Vaughn Comfort 5ton. A Haya.^
(BERT LAHR A MERCEDES |
Anita Dlaa Monkey. M.lvtn Trial
ROGER IMHOF A CO. |
as—MB—'
Now Showing
□
— Venileeilla-Photoplajra^—
1 Gain 6-act kill with
RIGOLETTO BROS.
and
SWANSON SISTERS
in “Around the World"
_
—
Tonight SHARP I
The World's Greatest Entertainer
NOTE r Owing to enormous also of
production end length of performance,
curtain rises promptly, nights at 0:IS,
matinee Wednesdgy at 2:IB.
Good Seats Still Available.
No Phone Orders.
NEIGHBORHOOD THEATERS
BOULEVARD - - 33d and l.aavanworth
Rarnay Hrrnatd and Alauandrr Carr
in "POTASH AND PERl.MUTTER"
GRAND ■■••*-* 10th and Btnnay
Ban Alraandrr, Hanry B. Walthall,'
Itrna Rich In "BOY OK MINE"
LOTHROP ...... 24th and latthrap
GLORIA SWANSON
In “BLUEBEARD'S EIGHTH WIFF.“
Omaha a Fun Crntar
Mat. and Nila Today
lluftliry llctn wd'c 3 Ring Clcciia
“HAPPY-GO-LUCKY”
KFI (APrAC Ch.atrr "Rub." Nal.nn
"tlSW DI05. o^mar'a Fighting I lona
20- Beauty Chorus of Weenies- 20
^I.adi.a' 2Sc Bargain Mai., 3tlS Weak Daya
Every Bookstore In Your City Has It
\ Spells, Pronounces |
and Defines
140,000 Terms
Including All the New Words |
in the Language
! 2,500 Illustrations P
—— t
| 1,325 Pages 1
| Greatest Dictionary 1
Value Ever Offered
It Answers A
Million Questions
The entire contents of
this amazing book are arranged
in one simple alphabetical or
der. There are no divided pages, no
supplements or addenda to confuse
you. The Thumb-Notch Index makes
all the wealth of information in its
1,325 pages instantly accessible.
In addition to complete definitions
of all the terms in use in every-day
life, including scientific words, col
loquialisms and slang, world-war
words, foreign words, business terms,
you will find.in this one immense,
all-inclusive vocabulary, innumerable
outstanding facts in every branch of
human knowledge.
LIVES OF PUBLIC MEN AND
WOMEN—Facts regarding Humani
tarians, Presidents, Poniffs. Painters,
Poets, Sovereigns, Statesmen, Scien
tists, Nobel Prize Winners.
NAMES OF NEW KINGDOMS
AND REPUBLICS For the first
time in any English dictionary are re
corded The Saor Stat, or Free State
of Ireland; Azerbaijan, Czecho-Slo
vakia, Kingdom of Egypt, Esthonia,
Hejaz, Letvia or Lettonia, Lithuania,
Nakichevan, Poland, the Far Eastern
Republic; the Kingdom of the Serbs,
Croats and Slovenes, known also as
Jugo-Slavia.
‘ LEADING CHARACTERS IN LIT
ERATURE—Greek, Roman and oth
er classic literature, and Bible and
Christian names with their meanings.
How Would You Answer
Such Questions as These?
What i* a BoUhevik? What is the evil eye?
Have you a dorine? What is coaculen?
What is a ▼•rio-coupler? Who is Gandhi?
What is ralatieitjr? Can you explain a rndioai#
plifier? Does fifty-fifty mean anything to you?
And they are but a few of the count
less thousands that confront you when
reading, and which this Dictionarv*alone
answers correctly. *
2,500 PICTURES-Including full-page
illustrations of Armor, Fish, Insects,
Man, Metric System, Mushrooms. Plants,
Reptiles, and Radio (or Wireless), Tele
phony, Textual Figures of Aeroplane
and Hydroplane Carburization, and
Hand Grenade (reproduced by per
mission of the War Department) and
Military Uniforms.
It Cost More Than $1,500,000
to produce the .colossal Unabridged
Standard Dictionary upon which this
newest Dictionary’ is based.
The English Language of
Today at Your Command
Are you familiar with the wealth of
new words with which our already won
derfully expressive tonguq has been en
riched since the Great War—even dur
ing the past few month*? Can you, on
the instant, use them correctly in your
conversation and writings? Do you fully
comprehend their true meaning when
you see them in the current newspapers,
periodicals, and books, and in your daily
mail—•'when you hear them from the
pulpit, on.tho stage and in the conversa
tion of your friends? Can you define
and pronounce them accurately for your
children?
Best “Every-Day” Dictionary
“It i* the beat every-day dictionary
we have seen, being ideally adapted to
use on the desk of the writer, the table
of the reader, and the workshop of the
student.”—Detroit Journal.
Buckram $6.00. net; Pottpaid, $6 32; Cloth $5 00, net; Pottpaid. $6 32. Both Are Indexed
Full Flexible Leather, ('.old idee Bible Paper Indexed, Boxed. $7 50, Pottpaid, $7.74.
Sold in all Bookstores or Order Direct on Coupon in Corner
FUNK & WAGNALLS COMPANY, 354-360 Fourth Avenue, New York, N. Y.
Defines A11 the New Words,
Including Colloquialisms
and Slang
Thft»Funk & Wagnalls Practical Stan
dard Dictionary defines the very newest
words and phrases in oiir language, such
as audiometer, book vain*. Dail Eireann.
Fascist!, Ku Klus, Kleagle, Insulin, mil
line, radio broadcasting, radiopkone.
syrura, ractupbone, rariocoupler, vita
min, etc. It brings to you the very new
est meanings of old terms, and brings
you down-to-the-minute information on
all the changes taking place in our lan
guage.
It Answers the Questions
That Children Ask
In schools, in business offices, in
homes-p-for physicians, doctors, lawyers,
writers—for public speakers, students,
men of affairs—for club women, busi
ness women, society women, and “old
fashioned" women directing home
affairs—for parents who are training
their children in that priceless accom
plishment, the correct use of our lan
guage—for all who speak, read, or
write English, or who desire to do so,
this volume will prove a never-failing
guide of sterling worth.
Authorities Hail It As Best
Elmer Ellsworth Brown. Chancellor
New York University, New York: " V
marvel of eondensation. range, and up
to-dateness."
Livingston Ferrand, M.D., A.B., A.M.,
I.L.D., President Cornell University:
"Th* convenient site, its clear type, and
its vocabulary brought up to date make
it invaluable for ready reference"
Philadelphia Public Ledger: “It is so
fsr superior to any other American die
tionarv of its site that it will be wel
comed by every one who wants a handy
reference book."
rv your Bockiflkr is out of stock of Funk A ^
| NS a*nails Practical Mandard Dictionary. j
don't taka a substitute] l'i« this Coupon I
' Funk A NS agnails Company.
W4-M0 Fourth Avo.. Now York.
• T onrloso •!* ?! for which plaaac «ond '
I mo Funk A NVacna' • Tragical Standard I
• Dictionary, bound in Huckram. .
i
• Nama . I
! I
| Addroou .... ..
I
.C,,T .I
| Stain .. ... ... I
IOtua. Bro |
•MaVa your rowitianco $S $J if you wish th»
cloih Miidini, or $7,7 4 If you wt«h tha Fu *
^F7r*iblo loathar Binding, board. |
