Nebraska Newspapers

    The Morning Ree
MORNIN G— E V E N I N G—S UNDAY
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____________
DEMOCRACY OF BUREAUCRACY?
More than 8,000 federal statutes ground through
the congressional hopper in 10 years, and more than
36,000 government activities with more being added
iwery year—is it any wonder the people are tax
jPidden to support the government?
Legislatures of 29 states in session in 1923 con
■aidered 32,000 bills and enacted 8,300 of them into
daws. Practically one in every 12 of the population
1» drawing a salary from the public either for whole
dir part time work.
During the last 20 years the United States has
become the worst law-ridden country in the world.
Acting upon the assumption that a legal enactment
is all that is needed to cure any supposed evil or
•remedy any untoward situation, we have, during the
’last quarter of a century, added a half a million laws
•t» the statute books of the republic and of the 48
Estates. Upon the assumption that the government
•ran do for the people what the people should do for
(themselves, and do it easier, we now have laws that
Jtoulld have been denounced in fiery language a gen
eration ago.
- Practically every congressman who goes down to
Washington exerts himself to the utmost to secure
•tW establishment of some new government activity,
tsome hoping to use it as a safety net when dropped
;from the congressional payroll.
„ Multiplied statutes, unwritten laws, precedents
;jfeithout number, have combined to make our whole
system one of legal mazes and entanglements, bur
-ifensome bureaus and expensive administration.
It costs $34 per capita per year to pay the sal
•arics of public officials. This is practically half the
‘payroll of every factory in the republic producing
;p>ore than $5,000 worth of goods per year. How
'many of the 2,700,000 on federal, state, county and
Jnunicipal payrolls are useless is not known, but it
js well known that thousands of them are not only
'-useless but actually a detriment to the proper ad
ministration of affairs. Bureaus and commissions
everywhere, most of them interfering with the free
• Sow of commerce or interfering with public and
■private affairs.
Boasting of our freedom and independence, we
have become the worst law-ridden, bureau-governed,
• commission-bossed, job-loaded people in the world.
And the situation grows worse with every passing
day. It is high time that the people who foot the
drills wake up and take their own government back
"itito their own hands.
GRADE CROSSINGS AND THE DRIVER.
Nine persons were killed, many others injured, I
and a large amount of property badly damaged, be
cause the driver of an automobile in eastern Ohio
failed to play it safe at a grade crossing. Similar
accidents are being reported daily, not all so serious
as this, but the great majority of them accompanied
by loss of life as well as property.
Roy Cochran, at present highway engineer for
Nebraska, comes out flatfooted for the elimination
;pf grade crossings. In this he has the support of
wflearly every railroad man in the land. Particularly
/Would the engineers, who drive the fast locomotives
' Across the lines, like to see the danger done away
?%ith. What holds it back is not the need for doing
/the work, but the expense. Careful estimates put
wthe cost of eliminating grade crossings at <11!,500,
/V00.000, a sum the railroads do not at the moment
■feel able to provide for the purpose, t
- While waiting for the day to come when no high
: way will cross a railroad track at grade, an existing
"remedy might be tried. “Stop, Look, and Listen.”
! No four words in the language are fraught with
,/giore of meaning. Displayed at every crossing, re
quired by law, they present to the driver an absolute
/■guarantee of safety. If carefully observed, they will
■ -ost no one more than a few seconds of time, and
probably will save the man who observes from>
sudden transition to eternity.
The burden is always on the driver, for the train
• has the right-of-way on the tracks, and the engineer
• (s warranted in not expecting his progress to be dis
’ puted by the presence of an automobile whose driver
- in a hurry. Let these considerations be taken
heed of, and grade crossing accidents will be reduc
• ed, almost to the vanishing point. Always we will
"have with us those blithe spirits who have a convic
tion that they can beat the engine to the crossing,
' and the frequency of ties in these events have no
i, deterrent effect on the ilk. The careful man, how
*-ever, will take ordinary precautions, secure in the
Reflection that in prudence is safety, and that there
r js no real adventure in trying to outrun the locomo
' tive.
£ "
» MARKING HISTORIC SPOTS.
I 1 The state historical department and the Daugh
ters of the American Revolution of Iowa have now
aerected four of the five tablet* that are to mark
, Ihe old Mormon trail acro*s that state.
• The west i* not yet old enough to he dotted with
■ historical monuments; the good work has been well
"begun. In Nebraska there arc a number of monu
" ments marking the old Oregon trail across the state.
*■ They have been erected by the State Historical *o
'■A-iety, und that organization would erect other monu
incuts on historic spots if it, were financially able.
-. It is high time that Nebraskans become more in
terested in this matter of preserving its early history,
.arid in marking its historic spots. A few Oregon
" trail markers across the state are not enough. There
" should be a marker on the site of old Fort Kearney.
/ ‘Hotter yet, the state should acquire the property and
make it a state park, for around that old fort are
p gathered many of the most splendid memories
-of early Nebraska pioneering. The old Mormon
trail from Fort Calhoun westward across the state
• should he appropriately marked, and there are sev.
oral site* of Indian raid* thnt are deserving of
Mmilar attention. Old Fort Kidney was abandoned
•• « number of years ago, Hnd that is another his
"toric spot that should be marked, because il played a
. most important part in Nebraska’s eurly history.
, New England Ijas marked every spot that has any
..historical interest whatsoever, Hnd this example
-.should be followed by every state in the west. Right
n how is the time for Nebraska to begin It ha» nl,
ready been too long neglectful
TALKING ABOUT DIVORCES IN IOWA.
The special session of the Iowa legislature, called
for the single purpose of code revision, is develop
ing into something else again. Those who labored
under the delusion that the session would deal al
most exclusively with dry statutes and cold figures,
have already been disillusioned. Right now the sub
ject of divorce is up, and already it has produced
a great amount of oratory mingled with consider
able personal feeling.
Representative Doolittle declared that “speedy di
vorces do not arise from court procedure, but from
ill-considered marriages.” Then Representative
Clark arose and declared that “if a man and wife de
cide that one of them should get a divorce, they can
draw up their papers in the morning, making the
plaintiff whichever one can get the writ most easily,
file the papers at 1 p. m., and prove up their divorce
at 1 :30 p. m.”
After declaring that he had seen just that thing
done more than once, Representative Clark said:
“Let’s require at least as much solemnity in
getting a divorce as in proving up a suit on a gro
cery bill or a promissory note. You can get a di
vorce today for 70 cents if you go to the constable or
some other disinterested party and serve notice on
the defendant. A lot of states nre beginning to
tighten up on their divorce taws, and Iowa has no
reason to lag.” ^
If Representative Clark is stating the facts, it is
clearly time that Iowa legislators get busy and cor
lect a few things now wrong with the divorce laws
of that state. Much might be said by * Nebraska
newspaper concerning Iowa’s divorce laws, but in
view of what is happening in the divorce courts of
Nebraska we are not going to say it. There is quite
too much litter on Nebraska’s doorstep to warrant
any Nebraska newspaper grabbing its broom and
proceeding to dust off the Iowa doorstep.
Representative Gallagher, who is insistent that
the Iowa divorce laws be amended, expressed sur
prise that some enemy of the proposed bill did not
“favor an attachment to the marriage license of a
coupon granting a divorce to the holders.” With
divorces growing in number at an ever increasing
ratio, it would seem, however, that such a coupon is
not necessary, and calculated' only to add too much
red tape to a system that now proves to be very
easy. The “tandem brand of matrimony,” as Repre
sentative Gallagher brands it, is not peculiar to
Iowa. If it accomplishes nothing else the discussion
of the subject by the Iowa legislature will call re
newed attention to the necessity for a more nearly
uniform divorce law.
A chemist in the Department of Agriculture at
Washington has discovered a cheap method of mak
ing sugar out of com. There are still those alive
and complaining who will insist that to make sugar
out of corn would be .a criminal waste of better
opportunities.
Texas has just experienced a blizzard with freez
ing temperature, but in the meanwhile dandelions
are blooming on Nebraska lawns and the open auto
mobile is gaily exceeding the speed limit.
Insanity will be the plea of Philip E. Fox, pub
licity chief of the nightshirt klan, who killed W. S.
Cobum, the attorney of another faction. "Crazy like
a Fox,” is not an unusual mental condition.
A study of the Nebraska temperature records
will disclose the fact that the banana belt is creep
ing northward, indicating a reasonably good prospect
of a replenising of the supply.
The daughter of an earl is soon to open a shop
in London, but if she sells honest goods at fair
prices probably nobody will hold any of her rela
tions against! her.
The impression is growing that if certain peo
ple in Europe go to work and quit their whining, '
there would be fewer calls i*pon Uncle Sam’s well
known bounty.
It is to be hoped that the warring factions in
congress will absorb a little of the spirit of peace and
good will during the Christmas vacation.
It takes a lot to convince some men. The Omaha
man whose wife deserted him five times finally
tumbled and sued for a divorce.
Correct this sentence: “I completed my Christ
mas shopping early, and did not spend a penny more
than I really could afford.”
Either Lenin and Trotsky have mighty good
press agents or they have mere lives than a cat.
An "Honest Work Week” about four times a
month wouldn't hurt this country a little bit.
-»
Mr. Bryan is again in Washington, leading a
procession that simply will not follow him.
The trouble with most reformers is that they do
not start it where charity begins.
And would it not be proper to sing "Columbia,
the gem of the notions?”
A corn-fed carp still remains the Ben Davis of
the finny tribe.
i---■—-i
Homespun Verse
—fly Omaha’* Own Poet—
Robert Worthington Davie
OUR SILENT CAL HAS SPOKEN.
Our *ilent i'hI ha* voiced hi* thought* upon the major
thing*;
III* rrftintry I* a* homo to him where mother aew* and
alng*,
And robuat children play about contentedly and gny—
They are the people of nl* realm; of them he think*
today.
And he I* dieanilng of the hotrei In eratwhlle yeni*
dealgned,
While fullire peace and plenitude nre foramost In hi*
mind.
We've heard him apeak hi* melange and In truth we've
heard him nay;
In giving we forget, perhapn. thnt we at length muat
pay
15'en though our neighbor* face dial re** and year*
monotonou*.
Let ua expect u* much of them bn they would a*
of un;
Let nation* lie a* man and man but let not logl
WMth#*
Tho Mplrlt of tin© klndliii©#* nor dim the Unlit c
fHlth.
And w© our*#lvtN among our*©!'** timterhillv might
deny
The nriittltud© Mint m il bet love nor loyalty ©nn buy,
I‘or we ehotild know that w hen today'* vM**ltude: nre
fled
\\ * Will lit iifti.li t u till it I low unnl or Knin by wlsdmi
dead
“THE PEOPLE’S VOICE”
Editorial front renders ot The Morning Bee Readers ot The Morning Bee
are Invited to use this column freely for expression
on matters ot publlo Interest.
Christinas Enlarged.
Omaha.—To the Editor of The Oma
ha Bee; Chrlstm.ua is a season of
Joy and happiness, especially to the
heart of a child* These days that
precede Christmas, when every flock
of mothers is full of mystery, when
there arc a hundred different places
"you must not look" when Manta
may he peeking in the window at
any momenj and it behooves you to
lie good, when odors that come from
the kitchen ^re' tempting beyond en
durance; these days are worth living
in spite of the leisurely manner in
which they move.
But they hold a double enchant
ment for the child whose parents
have Interwoven with the customs of
this land of quaint and curious tra
ditions of a foreign land. The com
bination of an American and a
Scandinavian Christmas is rich in
imagination.
To such a child Christmas does not
begin Christmas eve or Christmas
morn, but on the eve of the 23d,
known as "Lille Jule Aften" meaning
Little Christmas E',ve. This is ttie
first thrill of the coming Christmas,
the atmosphere takes on a new spirit,
a sort of joyous announcement to the
child that Christmas is so close ho
can almost touch it. Then follows
Christinas eve, the climax of all the
child has been looking forward to,
and always the Christmas tree. Per
haps times have been hard and an
evergreen is not possible, but some
where grows a little naked tree that
under the touch of Christmas magic,
will gleam and glow with bright col
ored papers, bitter sweet from the
woods, bright tinsel, tiny candles and
toys, perhaps not many but always
some.
I never hung nty stocking, though
my faith in Santa and other little
spirits of gladness I shall mention
later, was implicit. Mow did my toys
come? Well some time or other,
when my watchful eyes had failed
to watch closely enough, Santa in his
sleigh drawn by the prancing rein
deer had stopped at uiy house and
left the toys to be placed on the
Christmas tree, with the promise that
if we children were very, very good
he might stop off and help pick them
from the tree, on Christmas eve. lie
always did, s^yed for the Christmas
songs, stayed to hear our cries of de
light before he left to minister to the
rest of the world.
Beside Santa Claus, who of course
always comes first, this child knows
also a troop of little folks called
"Nisse" who in Norway, Denmark
and Sweden take the place of Santa
Claus. They are as real as Santa is
and resemble our "brownies." This
little ditty portrays them axactly.
"Up the airy mountain, down tba rushy
then
Wa daren't so a hunting for faar or
little men
Wa folks, good folka trooping all together
Htue rap. r.-d cap and whita owls
feather."
These little folks crave rice, in
fact should the children of earth for
get to leave a bowl full for them
somewhere In thesnow will away from
the house, they would be offended
and might even forget the gifts And
Santa being closely related to these
little beings. In spirit at least, must
like it too. So he is given a gener
ous portion, for who would want him
to drive through the night on his
kindly mission, hungry.
Never, and we children always
tested It out. did Santa and his little
workers, the "Nisse." fill to come
for thnt delicacy th»y craved, nmole
proof they exist, live and breathe
as we do* a lesson scoffers should
not overlook. A. TV
Woman's Prh liege*.
Vutan Neb —To the Editor pf The
Omaha Bee: Yes, change divorce laws,
but much better change marriage
laws and divorces will drop, one half,
the same minute. The average man
is like a new born babe when It
comes to marriage and divorce laws.
The average woman knows mot#
about the subject In 10 minutes,
than lie does all day. When he
stands up before the preacher and
says "T will” and "1 do" he fondly
imagines he Is getting an even
break.
Little docs he think he Is absolute
ly giving away one half of all that
he has worked years to save, just by
saying those nice little words, and
that the woman is giving nothing but
on.-pty words. Me can not collect
one penny, on them, though she
might be worth million*, hut she can
collect the last penny, or her share,
and make hlnv pay her lawyer's fee,
her alimony, and all expenses while
she Is doing It.
The average man Imagines that If
he gets stung and cannot stand It
any longer, that he can get Justice In
divorce court—that the one that Is to
blame will get soaked. Not so, "old
top." You certainly will get soaked
If you are to blame, also you will get
soaked If you are not to blame.
Don't ever think you will get Jus
tice In divorce court. The whole
thing Is framed for the woman. The
Idea that the woman gets one half of
Daily Prayer
--—r
Ha (hall aava lh»m barauaa
they trust lllm -Pa. *7 40.
Our Father, aa Thy children we. In
thla new day. hope for Thy presence
and llstten for Thy voice. That we
may l>a sensitive to Thy touch and
alert to Thy word, mnke us eager to
know Thy will and resolute to do If.
To know Thee In dose Intimacy Is
our need and our prayer.
In Thee la food for all our hunger*:
light for all our gloom: tasks for all
our energies: love—warm, Ihrohhloc,
sacrificing, to purge away our soin*h
ness. This Is our faith—make It our
living experience.
I^ook In pity upon all the sons of
men. Tiring alrlfn to an end. Kstab
llsh righteousness In the affairs of na
tions. Help all rulers to derree Jus
lice. Let reason prevail, and love
hind together Ihe hearts of men
He our sufficiency! all day. He otir
defense If we nre threatened by evil
forces keep us rigid when we lag*
tempted: give ua fresh Inspiration
when our purpose* flag; keep us un
selffshly. deliberately, eagerly kind all
day, and when night falls tuny we
hnve the ronaclousness of Thy favor,
and the peace Which passeth under
standing. through Jesus Christ our
Lord. Amen.
TV AI.LACK V*. MCI t.KN D. g>
MmIUtn, S' ,T______
NET AVERAGE
CIRCULATION
for Nortmlier, 1923, of
THE OMAHA BEE
Daily.73,950 j
Sunday .79,265 j
T)ofi not Include (•turn*, Uft«
hvfta, lAinpIn nr paprri ipnlltH tn j j
printing nod lm Itidra no •poctsl
i«Im nr IrM circulation of any kind.
B. BREWER, Gen. Mrt.
! V. A. BRIDGE, Cir. M«r.
I
HuhatHhad nod (wmn to liafnra mr
tin* Oth doy of Ofirmhpi. 19.1.1
W H QUIVEY,
(S*al I Nolory Public j
the •man's property, simply by stand
ing up and going through a mar
riage ceremony. Is unjust and un
sound, and should be changed.
VV. A. 8. STUNG.
Would Make Germany Pay.
On*iha—To the Editor of The
Omaha Bee: I see In your paper a criti
cism of an article I wrote by one W.
\V. in which he arks, "Why does not
Germany pay up?" and then adds,
"is is possible for malice, ignorance
and Injustice to reach lower levels
than this?"
Yes, it Is possible and eery reason
able to compel and collect payment
for damage done.
In regard to Ignorance. W. W. says
Germany surrendered by reason of
President Wilson’s 14 points. Those
14 points were not embodied In the
peace treaty neither In the terms of
armistice.
There has been no official statement
In regard as to what Germany has
paid. England, France and Belgium
are working to that end now.
W. W. nays it fulfilled Its prom
ise in regard to the kaiser. Germany
agreed to give the kaiser trial to
see if he was guilty of causing the
world war.
In regard to Germany paying over
$2,000,000,000 in gold. I will say that
speakH well for France, as we have
been informed through the press that
French occupation and collections
were a failure.
W. W. quotes H. G. Wells, an Eng
lishman. This is English propaganda,
which is the same as German propa
ganda at the present time.
He also soys the press is full of
French screeds, but dties not give one
Instance,
I have not the time nor Inclination
to analyze his entire article and take
up space In your columns.
8herrnau said “War Is hell,” W.
W. would havo us think that war is
something like a Sunday school pic
nic with pink tea, lemonade. Ice
cream and all the trimmings thrown
In.
^ "The soul that slnneth shall die."
Germany must die and a new tier
many must be born. That was what
Mr. Wilson meant by "self determina
tion” and "make the world safe for
democracy."
He says the plight of the German
people is desperate. The plight of
the entire world Is desperate, civili
zation is on trial.
When a man or nation ceases to
fear man and God then some one must
at least put the feat- of man In their
hearts.
No one has more syn/pathy or
charity for the German people than
I The penalty must he so severe
that they will never lie guilty of com
mitting this crime again.
It will take generation after genera
tion for the United States to pay its
war debt, so why should we expect
Germany's debt to be canceled’
1 asked In my first article. Why Is
the American press full of German
propaganda? My two critics. Hunter
anil Y\ W. have failed to answer that
jiior do they dispute It or show that
I was wrong In a single statement.
HEEL M CAIN.
Political Jingle.
Danbury. Neh—To the Editor of
The Omaha Ree;
1I<> has spoke and we have heard
The many thing* we all have f<-,red.
The old world now stands on Its head
Digesting the mighty things he said.
The world I0 safe from shore to
flhor**.
As w© predicted h<*retofr»r^;
South I**kota !h the stuff
That outran Hiram sure enough.
Did III will gfve s rentle tip,
"There * many a slip from cup to
lip."
Next fall you’ll h»ar the glad refrain
That Hiram is himself again.
Now we subside until all vote
To see who wnnts tbe old world court
_~W, R. litirbrldge.
The World's fireatest Financier*.
Every now and then newspaper
readers are regaled with stories about
»ome great financier, some fellow who
Mas accumulated millions and had his
Ungers upon the financial pulse of na
tions. They are mere money makers,
tnd there is a difference between
Ttonev makers and financiers. The
world's greatest financiers are ftot.
and never have been men. Nebraska
an* thousands of wives anil mothers
who can give Rockefeller and Schwab
and Ford and Morgan cards and
spades and big casino nnd then bent
them in financing. The mother who
can take her husband's weekly
check and stretch It until it provide*
ample food and sufficient clothing for
a constantly Increasing brood of lit
tle ones make it cover the cost of
giving them a good education, keep
a roof over their heads and give them
a fair chance In the game of life, la,
I am here to tell you. a greater finan
cier than any man who ever headed
a big bank or carried the monetary
,destiny of a nation In hi* hand.
Just Ahead.
"Can you remenilier'.’'' asks an ex
change, "how you looked forward to
your future 20 years ago? Well, this
Is your future. What are you doing
In If" oh—er—still looking for
ward. Boston Transcript.
Confidence.
Mae -He simply worships her.
Rae—I'll say he does. Why. he
thinks that the parrot taught her to
swear.—New York Sun and fllobe.
j “ From State and
Nation”
—Editorials from Other
Newspapers— _
Fourteen Years of Scouting.
From the Christian Sc ene* Monitor.
Jn February next It Is planned to
observe properly the 1 tth anniversary
of the organization of the Boy Scouts
of America. From a small beginning
there has grown a national Ijody repre
sentative of the very flower of the
youth of the land. Aiding and advis
ing the boys there are hundreds of
unselfish business and professional
men who have devoted time and en
ergy to a proper direction of the
activities of local, state and national
camps. They have provided some of
the sinews and perhaps some of the
Incentive which have made continued
progress and growth possible. But
to the boys themselves, the scouts of
whatever age or social status, is due
the credit for the maintenance of the
high standards set and unfalteringly
adhered to. The moral strength of
the Boy Scout organization is in its
ranks. No one but the individual
scout can keep inviolate the pledge
which he voluntarily takes.
Happily that day has passed when
thinking people were Inclined to dis
courage scout activities*because they
believed the organization was militar
istic and that it taught Its memia-rs
a reverence for the arts of war. The
boys themselves have shown the falsi
ty of this supposition. They have
proved that they are being efficiently
trained in the pursuits of peace and
brotherllness. That, when all has
been said, means that they are being
trained to take up. when the time
[comes, the duties of citizenship. It is
recalled in this connection that Gen
eral Pershing, when he visited the en
campnvent of Boy Scouts and Girl
Scouts at Palisades Interstate park,
near Bear Mountain. N. Y.. in July
last, declare his belief that the work
being done in the camps was more
broadening than that which could be
done under military regime, and that
he would not introduce military dis
cipline 04- training into the Boy Scout
program if he could.
General Pershing was quick to see
that the training afforded was for
citizenship. He observed that any
man who is a good citizen will make
a good Boidier in time of peril. He
did not intimate that the trained mili
tarist Is always a good citizen, though
this might be his conviction. But he
took occasion to call attention to the
fact that there are. according to his
estimate. 3.000.000 boy* In the L'nlted
Ktat<*s who might be regarded as
available scout material. These boys,
he said, are just reaching the age
when they begin to feel the responsi
bilities of ■ Itlzenshtp. and "when they
should he surrounded by conditions
conducive to dear thought and clean
bodies. ”
It Is to rmke possible the enroll
ment and training of fhese boys that
the activities of the organization
should now be directed. Other esti
mates Indicate that there are 8.000,
000 American boys who are eligible
and anxious for the teaching offered.
No form of Americanization work of
fers greater possibilities than that so,
studiously adhered to by the Boy
Scouts. Therefore, the forthcoming
observance of the 14th anniversary
of the organization does not offer
alone an opportunity to look back
ward upon past worthy accomplish
ments. It present*, rather, a dear
vision of possibilities In bringing to
million* of youne Americans the
means for intensive training in the
theories and practices of true Ameri
canism.
Departed tilorj.
Krem the Ottumwa Courier.
Much a* we may deplore it. we
must confess tiiat the glories and the
grandeur of our old frontier are being
swallowed up in a tidal wave of mod
ernism. tvplfied by great churches,
good roads, sheath gowns. stock
swindlers, automobile thieves and
radio Only a week or so ago ther*
was chronicled the passing of a Texas
sheriff who hadn't carried a shootln*
iron in 30 .xrars. And he died of
pneun. >nla rr something just a* dis- i
gracefully unromantlc. Nobody shot
him at all. Now comr-s a blow even
more difficult to survive. The Dallas
News, apparently without -hame. |
blazons forth the* indictment of a I
region which once was wild and wad-i
ly and afraid of itse'f
•'I’pcn the heels of a report from
IsiQii' n that monocles ar" fast re- (
turning to vogue In Hritain and upon
the Kuropean continent, several of the
very swanky solitaire eyeglasses have
l>een observed on the streets of Dallas,
and. in the opinion of outfitters here,
the fad bids fair to become general in
this country."
Think of Stl Monocles In Texas!
As appropriate as toboggans in the
middle of the Sahara. Where is
the glory that was the old west,
the west of the six-gun and the bowie
knife, the necktie party and the paint
smeare! redskin’ Truly, "them days
Is gone forever!"
V (lend Crop.
"Do you make any money raising
tobacco’"
"Yes. " replied Farmer Comtossel
"I got 'most enough out of the last
crop to keep our boy Josh in cig
arels."—Washington Star
Indies.
Rxi ifFd I-ady—1 want six ounces of
sulphuric acid.
Clerk—Yes. n inn. Are you going
to drink it or throw it in another
lndv's fare’—American l-egjon
Weekly.
Puzzle Is
Unsolved!
r — ^-w
Psychology Test Closes Without Winner
Kugene Fry, 520 Federal Reserve Bldg., Omaha,
came nearest; C. I. Thede. Lincoln, second, and
Robert A. Cohn. 310 W. O. W. Bldg., third. Among
the hundreds of solutions submitt d none were suc
cessful in solving the puzzle published in this paper
last week.
I). Marino, who holds (he key to the solution,
does not read English. He was weary Sunday after
huving heard hundreds of letters from contestants
read to him. Among those who tried were men of
letters and skill, professional men, doctors, lawyers
and architects, indicating that the puzzle is a true
and genuine skill test. The key to the puzzle is door
No. 5. Important ones are Nos. 2. IS and 14.
Marino uses only one pencil line crossing all lt>
doors, starting with one line and finishing with the
same line without recrossing twice. It anyone doubts
this Marino is ready to prove it. The problem has
not been solved for five years and it lias been used
t<> good advantage for many competitive skill tests.
D. MARINO, 1112 So. 13th St., Omaha
I LISTENING IN
On the Nebraska Press
"It la not going to be a real Christ
mas for W. J- Bryan," observes the
Falrbury News. “If Santa does not
bring him a new issue.' "
• • •
"With the penitentiary overflowing
with men and county jails all over the
country more or less populous, and
the river bods full of gravel, why
can’t we have all the roads In the
state graveled?" Is a question pro
pounded by Ole Buck in the Harvard
Courier.
• • •
The Wayne Democrat, aqd you will
please note the title, remarks that
"President Coolidge's message to con
gress Is a mighty good message for
those who like that kind of a mes
sage."
• • •
The Nebraska City Press wisely ob
serves that there ain't no Santa Claus
a-tall for those European nations that
are just sitting around and waiting
for Uncle Sam to play Santa and
drop a huge roll of real currency in
their stockings.
• • •
Noting that Box Butte county holds
the spud record, the Grand Island In
dependent asserts that Hall county
lieats it. Now watch Scotts Bluff
them both out.
• • •
W, H. Weekes Of the Norfolk Pre«s
has a long memory. Noting the
criticism of President t'oolidge be
cause he doesn't talk enough. Brer
Weekes recalls the time when they
were criticising President Hayes be
cause he talked too much.
• • •
The York Democrat announce* that
Henry Bock, former member of tfce
state legislature from Butler county,
will seek the democratic nainination
for congress from the Fourth district.
And the Democrat alleges that Henry
would fill the bill very acceptably.
• • •
Mentor Brown of the Kearney Hub,
who has been watching 'em leave the
starting post for more n half a cen
tury. observes that McAdoo's burst
of speed when the harrier flew up may
merely be the distinguishing mark of
a good quarter horse.
• • •
"The three K's," sadly muses John
Sweet of the Nebraska City Press,
"usjd to he reedin', 'ritin' and
'rithmetic. Now the young folks take
'em 'rummin', 'rarin' and 'rtdlnY'
• • •
The Newman Grove Reporter, not
ing the little disagreement between
the Madison Star-Mail and the Nor
folk News, counsels the democratic
brethren to dwell together In unity.
Advice may he good, and yet very
much out of place at times.
• • •
The York New Teller says the rea
son why there Is so'mrtieh talk about
the Ford boom is that the people get
tired of talking about the weather all
the time,
• • •
"Some men try to beat the train to:
the crossing but other men talkback'
to their wives," sageiy observes the j
Aurora Republican
Abe Martin
— _....
*- ~TfUT'(\$MA &B l
It's all right t' s, ,.t op an' fight
one another durin’ a political cam
paign, but after a democrat or a re
publican becomes th' president of
our country we ought t’ be big
enough an’ paterotic enough t' ap
plaud his picture on the screen.
Cheer up, wheat farmers, human
life hain’t worth nothin’ eithe-.
(Capvrah*. 112}.)
old fashioned!
They call me old fashioned, Just be
cause
1 still wear my old b'.ack suspenders.
And drive the old gray mare to town
Instead of one of them automobiles.
Down at the county fair, by gosh,
A young fellow says to me, "Say,
Grandpop,
Take a ride in my airplane.’’
I said, "No, I'm scared of them
things "
He laughed and said, "You’re old
fashioned."
The neighbors got a rig a ma-jig,
They call It a radio set.
They say you <-an hear music and
such for miles and miles.
But I guess I'm old-fashioned.
I don't care to hear somebody long
ways off.
I'd rather hear my grandchildren
singing;
And they are right here—
T don't need no machine to hear them.
All this new fangled stuff may be all
right.
I don't know—the old ways are my
ways.
May be it's because 1 am old-faeh
loned. —H. F. Gilbert.
A Handy Place to Eat
Hotel Gonaot
Ifefh and Htrrev- Omaha
The Center of Convenience
Let
Arithmetic
Work FOR you—
not against you
“How in the world dot's my money get
awuy from me!" Such is the month-to
month plaint of the person who lets arithme
tic work against him. A small coin needless
ly spent here, a larger coin there, a dollar
bill occasionally—these driblets run quickly
into big totals.
But, when arithmetic works FOR a person we hear
this: “Gee, look what 1 have in my Get-Ahead Club
account, and I have hardly missed the weekly deposits
at all.”
s
Here are fourteen Ot-tkinl Hub plans w hich make
arithmetic w ork I OH \on:
<»nc \<ar
?.V Kb cn-1 icpoAit (law. > 1J.M
,%Or t-.t n< lK p< *lt (Iam . \Y »
*1 ktrinpcittuil CIiima ... 5 tw*
*2 l»cu Haw . . ltM P*
M IK ( Iks .. %. ?,V» <*•
• Ktrn-ht| t.itf t l am V».Ki ...
•V Onmi tr^ 41««* #;a.;a ‘v 1 ,b*
5c Imrcu'ini anil IWftn»lm 4 Ia»« .< w latere*
tbe lM>rmdiMt*aiMl-Ufrmi»iR| nai» #v.\ oa
f^c Iit< r«niwinc anil lHK rrHwitic 4 !**• I .n w
*c lncmwlri Ami. 1>« ci rawing ( |*»« It*
tc IWretnlni 4 la»* .... 25 v»
lc iVriTiialnx 4 law I? 75
Ic Incrmdni ('!•»* I? *A
\ ou ina> pay a* far in advanca ** you w
Tha Club and* tarty tn next Dacamber.
Th* K'OT'R D i*«mn*-»nd !V* r*At ng t ..iA*r* mart with a
■ mall Amount which Ipcrra*oa f.-r th* f twt<r>-f»\* w(*ka,
•nd th*n, aiaitlng th* oth*r wmy. de* resari* for th* romain r.g
portent— thus j>ro\ti|tn* m J'Jau that »» much I'nMtr to ootttplrt*
thou would h* Km fcht IPi iM» ng plat)*. All v'1aa>«’j» draw
int*.*At if d*t»oAi*a Mi* mad* promptly.
Half the game of getting ahead is
getting started. Join today, and have
a lump sum. plus a pleased feeling,
early next December.
ftkGbahaNationalF \
^arnam at nth St.
TIE YOUR AMBITIONS
TO A BANK ACCOUNT.,
*** — -iw ■- wp^.1 •'