A PLEA FOR LAZINESS!
--By o. o. McIntyre
It strikes me this pep propa
ganda is being slightly overdone.
There is no room any more for the
sluggard. Doziness has become a
^ lost art. The most likable fellow
I ever met was the husband of a
woman who ran a boarding house.
He got up at 10 o'clock in the
morn:ng, after having breakfast in
bed. and in the summer time re
clined In a porch hammock until
bedtime. In the winter he sat. In
front of the grate fire In a big
comfortable chair. They had to pull
him aw'ay from a hot open fire.
He complained to me once that
his wife was growing cold toward
him. She would not clean his pipe.
He had a great fund of stories, and
we called him ‘'Doc.” He lived to
the age of 81 and when he died he
was generally mourned.
Every Oay Is Holiday.
He was as lazy as Dudlnin's dog,
that leaned his head against the
wall to bark. Every day of his life
was a holiday.
There is an old German proverb
that says laziness has no advocate,
but many friends. That is the
trouble. Most of us have a speak
ing admiration for laziness, but we
w II not speak out for it. It will
not get you anywhere—but "ain't
we got fun?”
All my life I have made laziness
my hobby, but I have been hesitant
In advocating it publicly. Nearly
every office I visit greets me with
a motto reading "Do It now!"
Every hand is against me.
Great organizations are hiring ef
ficiency sharks to speed things up
when what we really need is a slow
ing down. Work, I suppose, Is all
right, but. like anything else, can
be overdone.
We hear daily of people being
killed by work but I have never
read of anyone dying from laziness.
Feature that!
We are constantly admonished not
to put off until tomorrow what we
can do today. If there are going to
be so many tomorrows, why do we
have to pick on today? Instead,
let's climb into the hay and snooze.
. laiinnu and Genius.
Ip
One of the best short stories I
ever read was written by a writer
who was continually fixing excuse
With such short working time, think how many fish one could catch.
do dodge the typewriter. There was
a story he had contracted to do be
fore sailing for Europe.
He waited until the night before
sailing and finished It in the cabin
of his liner Just before the boat
pulled out. It was his best story.
Those who say it was the excep
tion may be gently reminded of the
other bromide which says the ex
ception proves the rule.
The industrious prod us lazy
folk too much. They offer us a
sop by saying "All work and .10
play, makes Jack a dull boy.”
Well, my name is not Jack and,
anyway, why play? Why not stick
to your hobby and just be lazy and
dull. There are too many bright
people anyway. They think up
things to do.
Then there is that ringing plati
tude: "Go to the ant. thou slug
gard." If somebody will And me
the ant. I'll go to It. I have never
seen an ant yet that inspired me to
touch my hands to the floor 20d
times before breakfast or saw a
cord of wood. There may be some
of these inspirational ants around
but I'll take my chances. I can
be just as stubborn with ants as 1
can with humans. No ant can dic
tate to me.
There is a lot to be said for the
lazy man. He doesn't march in* pa
rades. He doesn't run after street
cars. He lets the other fellow alone
and he makes a good husband. Anv
number of them will In a pinch
deliver the wash for their wives.
Also collect the money.
Take Your Time.
These fellows who are always
busy and never waste a single
minute get my goat. They are the
boys who tell you everything has
been attended to when what they
really mean Is nothing has bein
done. They are just about as
smooth as sandpaper. Let’s do one
thing a day—and let's not make it
N>o snappy.
I suppose efficiency has its
place but I have a system of my
own. My desk, any hour of the
day or night, looks as though It
had been suddenly struck by a cy
clone. Anybody who comes near It
is in danger. I don't even want it
dusted. Papers are piled about In
a riot-out confusion. There are let
tens that have been there for more
than a year. Yet, whenever I
want anthing, I can take a high
dive into the midst of them and
come up with it.
Don’t ask me how I do it. It s
a gift. I suppose the ambitious
energetic fellows have a better
time in their way. They make the
crew at college but if they see any
fun in that they are welcome to it.
Anyway, I don't like to ride back
wards.
Recently a fellow came to me to
Interest me in more production. .He
represented some institute of some,
thing that could make one man do
three men's work by reading their
books and taking some sort of
course. He had a piece of hot
house sable on his upper lip and
emphasized his points by shooting
his cuffs. Sweet geranium'
He was a human dynamo. While
he talked and gesticulated I loung
ed on a divan and smoked a
clgaret. He went out with a wilt
ed collar. He wasted more energy
in a single hour than I ever had
stored away in my system.
Two weeks later I met him. He
had a new job. This time he was
selling ideas for cutting down ex
penses. He bubbled with enthus
lasm. He seemed to fetl it wag
a crying shame all the brain* in
the world were given to one man
and I had the feeling when he left
it was too had to be so dumb that
one abused the privilege.
Yet X managed to get along arul
have had about the same job all
my life. And right at this moment
I m not dodging more than three
tailors at the outside.
I presume it is a form of heresy
to advocate laziness. Still if you
feel that way all the time what are
you going to do? Maybe its a
hookworm that is causing it all. If
it is. the worm has l»een mighty
faithful to me.
If I had my way I'd have a big
sign put over my desk reading:
"Don’t do it today. Wait—per
haps some boob will do it for you.’’
The Results of Industry.
The best thing about London is
the easy way they do thing*. When
a newspaper reporter goes out to
interview a man, he remains for
tea, perhaps goes out to a cricket
game with the man he I* sent to
interview and writes his story three
days later.
Here in New York especially, a
reporter rushes about at breakneck
speed, covers six or seven assign
ments a day, gallops back to the
offiee and almost tears a typewriter
to bits beating out his article. Then
a rough old copy ready whittles it
down to a half stick. What's the
use?
Of course, we lazy folks don't
make much money. We haven't
our little shooting lodge in Canada,
a glorified villa at Newport or a
- town house in the Hast Somethir.g
or-Other, but we have a lot of lei
sure to think of things and dream
our big dreams.
It doesn't seem to me a man
ought to be required to work more
than an hour a day—or perhaps
more than a half hour. All those
in favor of 15 minutes stand up I
know a lot who don't work at all
and they are some of the best. Kelly
pool players In town.
With such short working time
think how many fish one could
catch:
Oosh, I'm getting tired.
I don’t believe I'll even finish
this.
Such is the power of suggestion.
■ Copyright. 1921.
BIG GAME HUNT IN ALASKA By Adam Breede \
Hunting big game in Alaska can
rightly be listed among the hardest
kind of work to be undertaken for
■port or pleasure. To do it success
fully one should possess a strong
constitution, reckless courage, forti
tude, endurance and determination.
Frequently he tolls hour after
hour, and day after day. without
being rewarded, but the lure of the
hunt urges him on and on—with
thfe hope of finding the game just
over the neat hill.
Because of the many streams,
falls, icebergs, glaciers and snow an
Alaskan hunter must encounter,
there is no lack of thrills and ad
venture.
The rlvere and streams are glori
ous. but treacherous. At times
they are as calm and peaceful as
a mill pond. Then again they be
come roaring, seething, twisting.
Jumping, tumbling bodies of wildly
( rushing water. They are warmed
by sun and chilled by the snow and
mountains of Icebergs sloughed from
the world's greatest glaciers.
With an Indian guide I had cross
ed the Taku river at Twin Olacier
camp, about 25 miles from Juneau.
It was 3 in the morning, hut, being
In July, It was light as day.
"Uh. moose," grunted Tom Wil
liams. the Indian guide, as wc
landed, and he pointed to tracks In
the sand.
Yes, there they were, large and
fresh—tracks of a cow moose snd
calf, but they did not Interest me
much, because there^ls no sport In
shooting such animals.
Caching the boat we made our
way up a small alough where
moose tracks became more plentiful,
but evidently there were not many
bull moose in the vicinity. After
several hours of close trailing we
came upon a cow and calf in some
willows and could effslly have shot
both of them, as they were not
more than 40 yard* distant.
Several good-xlied tiear tracks
were foMid, and there was every
Indication that there were several
bear In that vicinity
It was hot ami still and the pers
piration rolled from our badly
burned faces, which were covered
with netting to protect ourselves
from the mosquitoes and gnats.
While the netting gave some pro
tection it waa not an altsolute pre
vents e front mosquito bites or
tho nnnoynnee* of the Infernal
t gnats which crawled In armies
through the small network and
would fly into one's mouth and
lodge tn the throat every time a
word or sentence was spoken.
Bear Are the Prizes
Many eagles and other birds were
seen and could have easily been
shot but the object was to land
one of those big bear that had
been prowling around that morn
ing.
It was late In the afternoon
when we ran on to more fresh signs
of old bruin. The tracks showed
that the bear was going in the di
rection of the glacier. We had fol
lowed the tracks scarcely 200 yards
when, looking up, I saw a large
bear slowly making its way across
the foot about a half mile wide,
which was a mile distant.
Running through brush and tim
ber I made my way so as to head
It off shortly after it left the ice.
After a long and hard run I was
almost exhausted when I came to
the spot where I thought the War
could W seen, but the willows were
too high to permit a clear view.
Making my way through the
bruah I came Into the open just in
time to see a large grizzly bear rise
on Its haunches and sniff the air.
As I took the rifle to my shoulder
the bear tnj In the act of lowering
himself, so the first shot wounded
him In the breast. Turning like a
flash, he made a straight getaway.
It waa fully 125 yards before he
came Into the open so I could get
the second shot, which made a bad
wound close to the right hip.
Again running under cover the
liear was protected for 100 yards,
hut 1 managed to get tbe third shot
In Just as lie came out of some wil
lows. The tast shot planted a bullet
right through the center of the
heart.
But even this did not stop the
grizzly, for he ran a half mile
farther on into the swamp before he
fell and uprooted trees and under
brush In his death struggle.
Previous experience had taught
me not fll rush upon niy game after
1 knew It waa down. After examln
ing grass and trees where the bear
had departed and finding plenty of
bloodstains I was ataliafied that he
had made his last stand.
At ? o’clock the next morning
the Indian and 1 crossed the river
in the dory nod rowed the little
boat through the marsh tm'il w*
suiteeded >n getting It within a
mile Of where the bear had fallen
Found lied) by Ung.
Taking large, heavy ropes, we
made our way across the glacier
through the timber and into the
willows where we found old Bruia
by the side of a huge log.
In his death struggle be had
torn up many small trees and
pawed up the ground.
He was a large silver tip grizzly "
that weighed between "00 and 800
pounds.
In putting the rope around the
bear's neck I disturbed a hornets’
nest, and the Indian and I were
stung in a half dozen places before
we succeeded in dragging him a
foot.
Realizing that it was almost im
possible for the two of us to get
the bear down to the boat we hit
upon the idea of making a harness
out of rope. The rope was fastened
around our waists and over our
shoulders and then attached to the
bear. By this means we were able
to drag the animal along from a
foot to three yards at a time.
It was alow, tedious, hard work,
and at times the mosquitoes were
so numerous and so ferocious that
we were compelled to roll in the
grass and bury our faces in the
dirt in order to free ourselves from
the pests. In truth, it was not
long before the lumps were to
large and closely associated on our
bodies that we resembled nutm>g
graters. To add to the mosquito
bites our flesh was filled with
Thorns from the forest of devil
dubs through which we hsd to
drag the bear.
One can realise what work there
is connected with a bear hujt
when I say that it took nearly six
hours to drag that grizzly one mi’e
down the side of the mountain into
the boat.
Hunting Eagles With a “SI.” "
Hunting eagles with a .1! rifle is
real sport, as one experiences little
trouble in getting a decided "kick”
out of it.
It is doubtful if there is any
place In Uncle Sara's domain where
bald eagles are so numerous as in
Alaska. In truth, they have be
come so plentiful up there that s
bounty is now being paid on eagles'
talons presented to the territorial
treasurer.
This was deemed necessary be
cause the bird that stands as an
_Sailors* Pets_
London. Sept. 1.—Wild animal
dealers are bemoaning the disap
pearance of sailors' pets. Not
many years ago every homebound
vessel from Brasil and the east had
its population of kidnaped jungle
folk. Bought for a song, the queer
beasts enlivened the home voyage
and fetched a welcome pound or
two when Jack came ashore for a
hard-earned holiday.
Monkeys were the favorite pets.
There were few moments of bore
dom in a brig with 20 or 30 mon
keys aboard. On one ship a mon
key snatched off the captain's cap.
ran up the rigging with it. mi
utely inspected it for vermin, to
the immense delight of the crew,
and. finding none, disappointedly
tossed it overboard.
In another ship was a big.
gloomy baboon. When a man
s|K»ke to it It seised his hand and
shook it, with deep melancholy.
But if he laughed it fell into a
towering rage and flew at him.
That beast was a lesson in disc.
pllne. Kvery one learned to keep
a straight face when responding to
its friendly gesture
More than half the unfortunate
monkeys who were brought home
from the east died of bronchitis
between the Bay of Biscay and^
London.
Every homing vessel used to
carry a number of parrots. Even
units of the navy used to bring
them home. A captain once told
me of*a very well behaved parrot
that was kept in a cruiser ward
room. At a certain port a colonel
bishop came aboard one Sunday
and officiated at a service in the
wardroom. At the height of the
prelate’s eloquent sermon on tem
perance stark horror seised the con
congregation. For the parrot woke
up and liegan to make realistic ini
itations of the sound of pulling
corks.
That was the parrot's last cruise.
A retired admiral hough* it:
Two great airplane carriers, said
to lie the longest navat vessels in
the world, are being constructed
for the I’nlted States navy. They
will lie S50 feet long. 105 feet wide
and will carry a 180.Odd horsepower
electric power plant, sufficient to
serve a city of T0O OOtl p; epic, which
Will drive the SS.000 jh ip* at a
speed of 40 mites an ho\
emblem on the great American
escutscheon is destructive of wild
life. Besides destroying other birds'
nests, it kills and carries awir
small deer, sheep, goats and other
species of game.
The talons of JO.000 eagles were
presented for bounty last year
southeastern and s o u t h w e s ter 1
Alaska At that time a boun'y
only 50 cents for each bird » -
paid, but this year the pr,. e : .j.
been raised to *1.
Regardless of the war t h i •
being waged on eagles, these t
of prey are quite plentiful th
out the northland.
Big game hunters and I-d
alike expressed surprise at
hunting eagles with a .11 rifle Tl>
said that the caliber was ert.
too small to prove effect:'
they had their doubts ab
penetrating qualities heirs
cient to kill one of those n
birds, and I was also a lit:
tical.
First Shot Not Kffee live.
The first eagle I fired
a !2 rifle was rosetTng on t
a large branch on a la nr*
tree about 110 yards div.u s
the report of the rifle the • : h
perked up a bit. twisted ~
looked wise, and sat still A
cond shot brought about
result,
U was evident that the >»
out of range of the small
Quietly advancing about
I fired again This time 1
bullet strike spat” ag.
feathers. The Ng bird t
and sailed away.
Determined to get tN
possible. I followed it ur
ally succeeded getting with
yards of it. From th.e
1 knocked it down the
but it flew about a qua
mile before it fell. V
1 discovered that ime
lodged ir. its breast, a
shot, which proved effe
penetrated its back
1 tried several m,ng s - t
that and while the sm ” 1
could be plainly heard - .>.« ■
against the Ng bird*. t ,
tridges a cre fired b-f .
ceeded in bringing dow •" ■»
as they soared mo ‘
head.
That day I succeed**
six eagles with. * ?? -**’
advice tt» eagde hunt -
to use a ?$ or *<*
■ ■ ' ' - ■
this purpose