A Few Impressions of Writers and Things
-Ity o. O. MTNTYRE.
If you are the proud parent of a
precocious 4-year-old son, and, at a
moment when the nurse is lax, the
ton and heir topples from tho high
chair to the floor, landing on the
soft spot of his head, have no wor
ries. Everything is going to be all
right.
The chances are he will become
an author or a poet, be invited out
to drink 14 kinds of tea, eat 16
kinds of cake every day and live
happy ever after. Yessir!
He will be impervious to eyes that
can wreck an empire and If he can
dodge the sheriff until he reaches
bother about his meals. By that
time he will either have starved or
learned to live without eating.
Writers may not be entirely "blot
to," but all I have bet net funny.
And they have a queer look in their
eyes.
Sometimes I have wondered if
they are really human. They do
such things and they say such
things.
My favorite author is th mildest
mannered of men. He has a ctis-'
position that is the marvel of all
who know him. A cross word ni cer
passes his lips. He fairly beams at
all times. Yet one day his wife
-picked a thread off his coat sleeve
and he flew into a violent paroxysm
of rage—stormed and blustered and
almost wrecked the hope of future
domestic happiness.
He has been buying flowers and
candy since to square himself and
has never been able to explain 'he
biainstorm.
Afraid of Elevator*.
Take Arthur Somers Hoc* he—if
he is not mislaid some place in Eu
rope—he writes thrilling stories of
adventure and mystery. One fol
lows his red-corpuscled heroes
through one chapter after another,
breathless with suspense. And yet
Mr. Roche himself is the only man
I know who is af: aid to ride in an
elevator in an office build ng.
Whenever he wants to see an editor
h** invites him out to lunch, some
times even paying the check.
Fred C. Kelly writes human in
terest articles about nu n who have
dared and wen. ib* tells how they
overcome insurmountable obstacles
am! yet Kelly is so fearful of water
no amount of mom*> could induce
him to cross a body of water—large
or small.
Samuel Blythe has the reputation
of being one of our shrewdest po
litiral reporters a fid is also a novel
1st of distinction. But when h»*
writes on the typewriter he refuses
settled, he Betties down himself and
finishes his novel without stopping
Hut when he is told his work must
be finished at a certain time he
finds he is no^ able to work at all.
Ring Hyrdner is another rare
bird. He lives on his magnificent
0
, GOOD HEAVENS'!
MY BABY! J
*ie\/ee mind
' LlTTL€ BUMP
| uKe -(hat, oeAP
l Me5 trOlNCr Xv j
| ee- a po&t 1 1
- ■ f
If Hi© son and heir topples to the floor, landing on the soft spot of his
head, don’t worry. The chances are lie will become an author or a i>oct.
to space between the words At
least he used to.
When Jam<v< Oliver Curwood is
commissioned to ffrite a novel h**
is insistent upon one point and that
is that no t ine limit be put^ipon
him. He may have one year or
two years. Having had this point
estate. Dandruff on-the Knob, at
(treat Neck, I, .1 . and is "an inde
fatigable worker. But, unless the
little Bnrdners come in every morn
ing and romp with him, I’oppa
won't work all day. There may be
some sort of bribery nbqut this, for
there is a lot of golfing to do there
abouts and about twice a week the
children forget him.
I used to play Kelly pool every
Saturday afternoon with a group
that included iVrton iiraley, the
poet. Bruley. despite the fact that
he is a poet always had plenty of
loose change In his pocket, but, he
would never put cash into the pot.
Instead he would write out a cheek
for the small amount needed and
when the game was finished re
trieve the check and tender the
winner cash.
H. C. Witwer deserted New York
some titn- ago to live in Southern
California. He comes east about
every three months. Before com
ing lie wirf s a certain hotel on Cen
tral Park West for reservations and
demands t*iey have a few candles
in the room. He has a horror of
New York suddenly becoming light
b-ss What a bright Idea this Is!
Meredith Nicholson, the Iloosier
novelist, is also a frequent visitor
to N w York. He stops at one of
the ls-st hotels in town but in
variably has breakfast at a little
basement place wher^ the waiter
has somehow got th" impression
that Nicholson is part owner ar.d
treats him with unusual deference.
And refuse s to acce-pt a tip. On
, second thought, there is nothing so
foolish about this
Th» Irwii s Wallace and Will
-me rarely seen together in public
although they are the most devoted
of brothers. Just recently they
were scheduled to speak at fu ban
quet to honor their old alma mater
Stanford university. Will breezed
in and did hi- .stuff and departed.
Five minutes later Walla- appeared
Irvin Cobb and Will Hogg, son of
the late t< over nor Hogg of Texas,
are devoted friends and meet sev
eral times a week in the late after
noon for a walk. Hogg’s offices
are on Madison avenue and Cobb
meets Urn there. But he always
gets off at the flour below and
walks up one flight.
Bonn Byrne, the young Irish
novelist, has a country home near
Barton. Conn. He is an accom
plished horseman and may he aeon
%-illoping about the countryside
early every morning when he is in
America. He lias als*> played polo
with recklessness and daring But
be will never walk on F.fth avenue
because of bis uncontrollable fear
of crossing the streets.
I could go on recounting a score
or more phobias among writers
which would sound more or less
theatricalese or neurotic, but what's
the use?
They are just that way and noth
ing can be done about it. The
only thing is to let 'cm suffer.
Of course, in this age, of auto
suggestion they "blight be able to
Coue themselves out of their mild
delusions hut. if they did, perhaps
they would not he able to write. It
may be they are just suffering from
suppressed desires and a good
square meal would do them more
good than months of autosugges
tion.
Judging from what is being done
with a pot neurosis by therajs-utio
weaving almost any writer can take
a case of acute melancholia and
weave it into a tine Persian rug or
something.
One-l,ung Typewriters.
Science is really becoming won
derful' If they keep up the good
work it may not be long before a
writer who finds he is too lazy to lu
lior can chase around the corner,
have a gland permanently waved
and in a few days find George
Horace Lorimer and all the rest of
the editors sitting on the doorstep
crying for his wares.
All in all, the writers ore an odd
bunch but they manage to hate a
perfectly dandy time just the s-une.
Their pet phobias njay he annoying,
hut so is congress and a lot of other
things.
Very few were born to the purple.
They have battered their way with
the aid of a one-lung rented type
writer frian poverty to some af
fluence and if they have picked up
nothing enroute but a set of "sec
ond company" nerves they are more
to Ire pitied than censured.
If you happen to meet one and
feel alarmed just laugh it off. You
will find him perfec’ly docile. In
my many years mingling with them
I have yet to find on* who ha*
scuttled a ship or nitroglycerined a
bank.
When one shows signs of becom
ing da> -ei js .give b in a cup of
tea and let him rave.
(Copyright. 1*22.1
The Wicked Flee_z -... — By Merlin Moore Taylor
of Chicago with his loot and then,
In a hare and hounds chase, dude
the long arm of tho law? Or could
he forne himself to go about his
dully life as If nothing had hap
pened and trust to the uncanny pood
fortune' which never had failed him
before to get him off free if he
w re accused of the murder?
The question was decided for
him. J.urking In a doorway aero h
te street from his lodging house his
keen eve caught a bulky shape that
even from the next corner he
though he recognized as that of
Eagan.
So they were already after him!
And they knew of tills room in a
respectable part of the city which
he had deluded himself Into believ
ing none of hin associates even were
aware of it. No doubt at his other
room, too. the plain cloth* men
weie lying In wait for him
He must flee at once. He felt his
niyve slipping and In- knew that
never would he be able to undergo
the torture of hour after hour of
questioning which w ould follow nr
r< st. They would break him d ovn in
tli*• end and he would confr ss the
V.inlandfnghum robbery. After that
It would he necessary to obtain from
him a confession of Holly's murder.
IVtiy It ns he might, they would
fasten that upon him. too. Eagan
*rid “Necktie” O'ltellly would see to
I
All thoughts of tho Vnnlnndiiig
ham Jewels In their hiding place In
his room were gone now. df the
police knew of his renin they would
know of the secret compartment,
too, or It would not take them long
to discover It. To try now to re
coyer his loot am] the tools of his
profession would be equivalent to
deliberately sticking his head In the
noose.
In the railroad yards near Kngle
wood Slippery caught the blind of
an outgoing passenger train, west
bound. clambered to the top of the
mail car and stretched himself out
flat. And thero ho clung for hour
after hour, lashed hy tho wind,
i hilled by tho damp night air. end
bedeviled by tho rain of hot cinders
from tho locomotive's stack. Ilut
fe.Vr and determination rod" him
hard that night, fear of the gal
lows and determination to put ns
great n distance at possible between
h mself and Chicago.
At a division point In the early
1 urs of tho morning Slippery
i in bed stiffly down and staggered
away across tho tracks to where
.1 oi lights hinted at all night res
t irants and food.
'1 he town night watchman «• line
In while Slippery was eating a
hasty meal. The limb of the law
betrayed some Interest in the fugi
tive hut ho asked no questions. Yet
to Slippery the blue uniform and
shining star represented the enemy
and he gulped down the remains of
his meal and hurried from the
place. In the railroad yards he
caught another train and rode It to
Kansas City.
There, in the exclusive residential
district of the south side, he picked
out a modest but coetly house,
jimmied his way Into it with the
aid of a piece of pointed Iron, and
obtained $100 from a bureau
drawer.
On the first train he rode the
cushions to Denver, where he <lo
parted front his usual customs and
robbed a house in daylight. First,
however, he hail ascertained that no
one Was ift home by the simple ex
pcdlent of ringing the front door
lu ll. IP ,c his haul was better,
some jewelry being added to the not
Inconsiderable sum of money which
he located in a tin lx>x in one of the
bedrooms. •
The jewelry he disposed c»f in a
tawdry pawnshop which, to his ini
tiated eye, bespoke a fence, accept
ing for It a sum ridiculously small
in comparison to the real value of
the gems.
in fr>.nt of the Drown Palace ho
tel he hid stopped for a moment to
light a cigar and in that Instant he
saw. standing not 10 feet away, a
figure which he recognized Iinnedi
ntely as that of Tom Vanarsdale of
the Pinkertons with whom he had
lmd one encounter. The detective
had come off second best in th« at
tempt to fasten upon Plippery a
robbery of one of the concerns pro
t*c*ted by the detective agency and
had been added to the list of those
who had tried, hut tried in vain. to
send that eel like individual ov«*i
the road With Vanarndale in P*■li
ver, Slippery preferred sonic other
city, and he took a train foi Frisco
The Han Francisco police got hint
in a raid on a shady hotel, and re
leased him only after a torturing
night In a cell when every dank
of the lock when the turnkey open
cd the door had set the fugitive's
heart to polindlng lest it meant i
summons to the dreaded third d*
gree.
Freed, however^ he took a boat
for Pent tie. where he again robbed
a house and replenished his tew dc
pleted purse. Strolling down the
street, he almost humped into Vat
digan of the Chicago force The
plain clothes mnn was leaning
against a w iter plug and Ms f. ■
was studying the passing thiopg
a.* if seeking some one. Slippery
kne w Xardigan of old. knew his in
finite patience when set upon a con
fusing trail, his bulldog persistence
in hanging on until he could clap
his Irons on the man he was after.
So Slippery, certain (hot he had
not been recognized, slid into a
crowd, hurried to the cheap hotel
where he was registered, got his
hag. and hurried to the princijial
railroad station. The first train that
was leaving was southbound and
Slippery bought a ticket bagk to
Kan t'ranedsc'o. lie arrived there
late at night and sought a respec
table hotel where he felt he would
be safe from the 'police, and slept
until noon the next day. In the
lobby on his way out for something
to eat—he could not bring himself
to the hotel dining room—he slopped
abruptly. Xardigan was coming
in the front eloorl
Slippery promptly turned anel
fled out a side entrance, lie did
not return after his bag and he did
not once think, or care, about its
t contents. fin the waterfront a s.gn
stating thnl men wi re w mted for
1 he- I,iit-1l.i bound for South Amra lean
ports, caught his eye. anil he went
in: id- and wu< signed up for the
«-rew
Aboard the Luella hi* Ignorance
of things nautical made life a hell
for him and by th«* time the tramp
fteamer reached Panama he was mo
d< P' rate that he deserted with
only the cloth* n on hi* hack and
$10 In hi* pocket. Almost the first
person he ran Into was Kit" Wal
lace.
So. unable to evade him. Slip
l»ery lied to him. his heart all
aflutter lest the other see through
h* untruth* lie told “Rat** that
he was returning at once to the
Kuelln. southward lw»uml, and that
he was going t<*..*tay With her until
she reached San Francisco on the
return trip. Then hrt left him.
made sure he was not followed, and.
with virtually his last money,
bought a ticket for Colon.
On the other side of the isthmus,
embedded by the slight knowledge of
penmanship acquired on the T.uclla
lie obtained a berth on the Hooka
wav, hound for Hraidllan ports
un.l within 24 hours was afloat
.•gain At Kara he dented the ship
and went ashore only to he corner
« I hy tie Rock away mates ami com
polled to return. Thereafter, at Per
natulan «* and Italna, Sh|%j■ iv had in
chance to take French leave, hut
at Rio he seized nn op j»m*t unity,
dived ov • ihour 1 ilatnhei.d upon n
barge that was preparing to return
to land, and manag' d to t •• h shore
uiv sught,.
He wandered away from the
docks, overwhelmed by a strange
city where he could neither under
stand the language nor make him
self understood.
Began then weeks of suff< ring,
mental and physlcial for the fugi
tive. Ilis few bits of money g me,
he eked out a precarious living
around the waterfront, turning his
hand to such odd Jobs as he oauld
obtain, sleeping wherever he could
about tho wharves, accepting such
pay as was tendered him, eating
when and how he could, and drink
ing himself into a stupor r.rj aguar
diente when ht* tortured brain re
fused longer to bear the ever pres
ent vision of a slain Solly and him
self standing ui>on a gallows trap.
It whs a ragged, filthy, gaunt
wharf rat whom finally the police
picked up— far different from the
d.appi r. modlshly dressed Slippery
whom the Chicago authorities knew.
His nationality ascertained, the
American consul was appealed to
and promptly appeared to uuewtion
him. IJewildered hv his experiences,
his will power shaken, nnd filled
only with « great desire to die.
Slippery's usually nimble brain fail
ed hint and he mumbled hi* name
and that ho came from Chicago
The consul clapped him uj>on the
back.
"Hi ace up. man," he tried
jovially. I'm from Oil* ago my
self and I’m going to semi you
home. Home, do you understand?
Home!**
So it came about that weeks later,
garbed in a castoff suit of the con
sul's. he got off the train upon
which the government's representa
tive* placed him in N* \v York after
ther met him at the steamer and
wandered through the familiar Chi
« ago streets. Ilia spirit was
broken. lie shambled past uni
formed policemen, even upon the
ground, unheeding whether they
remjjnlxed him or not. and not even
tlie sight of Nardigan, the ferret,
standing Idly on a street corner
while he shrewdly eyed the pass
ersby. alarmed him.
North on I,a Salle street Slippery
made hi* wav, past the financial ^
♦ enter, past the city hull, and Into
il • nt ^t Hock \t the dtmi «»f the
detective bureau lie «topp« d Pully
he was aware that this was the
pin «e that nhovo nil others he
Mhmild shun, that inside and up a
flight of stalls was the office of his
ail’ll enemy. Kagan Hut his sapped
will power was not strong enough
to force him to go on and aftei
only a moment* he*,, at Ion he f,
♦ niaits! at'l went in
Eagan looked up sharply as the
s- ireorow with the pra; ng hair
and the seamed face and burning
ey'-s u as ushered into h:s < ft! e The
detective's k- on ey< s r a ! in the
face of the other the hell through
which Slippery had p issed. anil In
the heart of the man hunter there
wi lled up a lit of svi.i- ithy for
this piece of human flotsam.
"Well?" he inQUiri'd 1.risUy
Slippery raised hack luster eyes
to the Inspector** face.
"You've got me, Espnn." he said
without emotion. "You sail you
would get me and here I am I'm
ready to take my medicine, for I
can't run any more. You and your
devilish detectives are too many for
me Put, honest to Qod. Eagan. I
didn't kill S lly M« and him framed
up to steal the Vaniandingham jew
els. all right, and I got them.
They're hidden behind the wall of
the room I used to have over on
M.nlison street. Put I didn't kill
Solly Inspector, and you won : let
tin nr hang me. will you? I didn't
■rv» anything opt of the Je\vi Is
They're there, every last or.’ of
them, and I'll t the you and show
yen where they ure. Du' you won't
It* them hang mo will you*
‘ Hang you?" The Inspector s
voire w is reassuring. 1'N■ ’ Slip
firry, 1 won': let them hang you.
We know you didn’t kid S. lly He
Hv.' to stick up a drurken man
tear the Vanlandinghar." home ai.d
the drunk man shot him. And so
that's why you've been on the run
id these months, eh? Hell, I
thought you'd taken my tip and
gone straight hut I guess vnu Hid*
i> \or do."
It.to the eya s of the man ir» ftont
■ f hint suddenly da fluted vl.e light
• understanding.
"You never suspected, me of kill
tig F lly?” he demanded.
Mayan shook ? s head.
"You never framed up with Solly
to get me mixed up with the Van
iiuullngham Jrfl'da so you eould get
me with the goods on?"
Once more the Inspector shook
hie head.
"Then you'd never known I
idled off that Job if I hadn't come
,n here nnd given myself up?”
"No." Kagan reached out to tap
iht hell that summoned the turn
key of the cellrootn. "No, Slippery .
*
.. nflxnl up in that We hung
t . n Sei Hid story' Mill gan on eir
eumsti.ntlal evidence In spile of the
pill w. (lever found the Jewels and
Is went up to Joliet for '
a- It "
lupjnsm, l*:*'