Married Life of Helen and Warren
VtiMr-n I :i Clever mi indie
Win is He!. n |.'i> > an \nliqitc I’lnfe.
An till frame iiout: ■ onco while,
now a painllcss grey. An unkept
yard with straggling shrubbery and
a discouraged fir tree.
On the sagging gate hung a piece
of cardboard crudely httorol:
“A FEW ANTIUl ES FOB SALK."
From across the muddy road Helen
sighted the alluring sign, llhe word
"Antiques” was always an irresist
ible magnet.
"Dear, lei's g«o ;it». They might
have some wonderful old tilings.-'
"Now we're not going to miss our
train for nny old junk,” grumped
Warren, who had come out to look
over some suburban lots.
"They run every hour! We might
find a wall clock for the bedroom.
You can pick up things in these old
houses for almost nothing—and we're
right here," pleadingly.
With grumbling reluctance, he fol
lowed her across the rain-slushed road,
through the obdurate gate, and up
the shrub fringed path.
Glowingly expectant, Helen pulled
file old bell that gave a remote
tinkle.
The door was opened by a harsh
featured old woman In a rusty black
gown.
“We were Just passing and saw the
sign." explained Helen.
“You can come in,” peering through
her glasses. "I'm only selling a few
things to help pay my taxes,” show
ing them into an old fashioned sil
ting room.
Helen's heart*beat fast as she
glanced about. A find! A real find!
The place was crowded with an
tiques. Everything was old from the
book <-ugs to the quaint colored
prints. And over the fireplace hung
a banjo clock!
"My grandfather built this house—
it’s just as he left it. It's mighty
hard to part with things that’s been
in the family all these years.”
"It must lie,” sympathized Helen,
wondering what she would ask for
the clock.
"That’s my grandfather." pointing
to a faded photograph in an old round
frame. Excuse me a minute, there's
somebody at the back door.”
“What wonderful things," whispered
Helen exultingly, when they were
alone, "I knew there’d be some
thing in this old house. I'm crazy for
that banjo clock. But don't say a
word—let me do the buying.”
“Don't worry, I'll not but In. But
you won't pull off any bargains. Bet
she's got everything priced to the lim
it—looks like a wise old bird."
“Dear, they don’t value antiques
in these small towns. Oh, that quaint
footstool—and that luster vase—Sh
ell, she's coming now."
When the woman entered Helen
was examining a fire-screen, purpose
ly showing interest in something she
did not intend to buy.
"Yes, my grandmother worked (hat.
Too don't ses them like that often.”
"What would you want for It?”
enxlous to get a line on her prices.
“Well, I refused $80 last fall. But
I've had such a hard winter—the
weasels carried off all my chickens—
I'll take that for It now.”
Eighty dollars' Helen's hopes of
bargain prices were rudely shaken.
But perlfaps. because she men
tioned this first, the woman thought
she wanted it most and priced it ac
cordingly. Other things might be
theaper.
"Thai’s a nice old sofa," still Ignor
ing the things Bhe really wanted.
"Yes, that's a genuine 'Duncan
Phyfe’ piece—and In perfect condi
tion.”
Duncan rhvfc! Bo she was well up
on Colonial furniture. Helen's hopes
ebbed. /
"Does that clock run?' with care- ]
ful casualnes*.
"Os. yes, It just needs oiling. That
belonged to my great grandfather.”
"Pity that piece of veneering's off.
What do you want for it as It is?”
"As It is?” sharply. "You don't get
s. clock a hundred years old without
t scratch. Just'to pay my taxes 1 11
take seventy—but it’s worth much
more.’
Seventy! And Helen had hoped to
get it for about $25.
The footstool was $20. The luster
case, badly nicked, $20.
Warren, staring out the window,
was whistling derisively under his
"Well, we were Just passing and
thought we'd stop in,” began Helen,
planning a graceful exit.
"I’ve gut some things in the dining
room.” quickly. "Some china that, be
longed to Aunt Matilda that I'll sell
cheap. I don't set no much store by
her things ns I do by grandfather's.”
The dining room was also crowded
with old time treasures. The side
board anil corner cabinet filled with
■blue Staffordshire.
Helen's heart missed a heat n» the
woman took out a platter of U ash
lngton Pressing the Delaware.
“You can have that for $70—that's
giving It way. But n* I said. I
never set much store by Aunt Ma
tilda. And since the weasels carried
off my chickens—I've got to sell
something.”
A "Washington Crossing the Dais
ware” platter for only $70!
"What do you think, dear?” feign
ing reluctance to conceal her eager
ness.
"Don't nsk me.” shrugged Warren.
"Don't know anything about this
stuff.”
"Well 1—7 guess I'll take it.” Then
opening her purse, "Seven dollars'
fearful It wes 17.
'•Tin, seven. And here's something
else that belonged to Aunt Matilda,"
taking from tho sideboard a rubv
\IIV I.RTI-I.WK.NT.
“77”
Dr. Humphreyt* 5#?enly*tt»«n
it for Grip, Coughi, Coldt and
Influenza
To Ret the best results, tako
“Seventy-seven” at the first Chill,
Sneeze or Shiver.
If you wait till your bones bejcin
to arhc, it may take longer.
A small vinl of pleasant pellets,
fits the vest pocket.
Mediral Book, tells all, free.
X9e and $1.00 at Drug Storm, or nrnt
on nmnttancff or C. O. 1>. rarer! I’ost.
Mumphi t»y»* Homco. Medlolnt to., lf>f»
WlJllam *y Wtw York*
' 4
glnr-i tumbler. "You ran have that
fur three." .
"Very well. I'll take it," trying to
ray it carelessly. "And how much
Is this?” examining an old octagonal
decanter on the sideboard.
"I ought to get $40 for that—but
I’ll let it go for $30."
I'm, didn't belong to Aunt Matilda,”
mumbled Warren under his breath.
"What's that?" she turned sharply.
"What d'you say?"
'jWd'U have to go getting along,"
ignoring her, he glanced at his watch.
"You won't take that lire screen?”
as they returned to the sitting room.
"No, I think not—not this time.”
Helen gave her a $10 bill.
“Well, I've got to sell a few more
things to make up my taxes. If any
of your friends drive out this way, I'd
be obliged if you'd give them my
address."
"Yes, we will. Dear, you write It
down while she wraps those.”
"Jove, forgot to fill this pen!” War
ren had drawn out his notebook.
"There's ink on that desk—115
Maple Hoad. I'll go gyt somo string.”
"Something phony here," scowled
Warren, as the woman disappeared.
"She's puttin' something over. She's
got too blamed much of this stuff—I
don’t believe it's right."
"Right? Why what do you mean,
dear?H,
"Bet that plate's a reproduction.
For the real stuff tho sky's the limit
to her prices—this Aunt Matilda
story sounds fishy.”
“Warren, you're always so sus
picious! How could this poor old
woman way out here, get reproduc
tions? Why you can see they're all
family things. She didn't like this
aunt—that’s why she's willing to sell
her things cheap.”
"I don't fall for that yarn. Darna
tion!" as his dipped pen left a blot.
Fumbling among the papers on the
desk for a blotter, Warren paused
with a muttered exclamation.
"Why, dear, what're you doing?"
amaz-od Helen, as always so punctil
ious about other people's letters he
deliberately scanned the one before
him.
"Read that! You needn't have any
qualms. She's put one over on you."
The brief communication Helen
grasped at a glance.
"My dear Mrs. Hubbard:
"We are shipping you an
other dozen of the ruby glass
tumblers, but regret we are
out of 'Washington Crossing
the Delaware' platters. Bi
ped a shipment from the fac
tory In a few days, and will
then fill your order.
"Very truly yours.
"The Bridgeport China Co.”
"Now whot about your poor old ,
woman and her aunt Matilda?” he
scoffed.
"I won’t take them!" flamed Helen.
“She'll have to give my money back!"
"Huh, you'll nfver get your ten out
of that old girl. She'll not give up—”
“I found this other platter that be
Hawaii Taxes and
Jails Moonshiner
Pa vs Income Levy, Goes to
Jail. Pays Tax on Jail
Food and Quarters.
Honolulu, March 17—"Just be
cause a man's a bootlegger Is no rea
son why he shouldn’t pay an Income
tax," says J. Walter Jones, collector
of Internal revenue for the Territory
of Hawaii. And not only are the
fines Incidental to his profession not
deduetahle as ‘’legitimate business ex
pense,” according to Jones, anil the
bootlegger will also he expected to
pay a tax on the food and quarters re
ceived ns a result of his Jail sen
tence for violation of the prohibition
law, which must be reported as in
come.
"According to the federal law all
persons are required to report every
dollar of their Income collected from
every source," Collector Jones says.
"Every aource, In this Instance, would
necessarily refer to the profits de
rived by a manufacturer of Intoxicat
ing beverages, regardless whether or
not such beverages are legally and
Illegally manufactured.”
Collector Jones’ ruling has caused
quite a stir among the local bootleg
gentry.
flow Yellowstone Geyser*
Boil to Blowing I p Point
Washington, March 17 —What
intakes geysers "blow up?" Is among
I questions answered recently by the
j Interior department.
After comparing the hot water
-spouts to volcanoes and referring to
i them as "natural steam engines," the
| report continues:
The heat from the hot lavas con
tlnuously appHed to water at. the bot
tom of the geyser tube causes It to
be heated to a high temperature,
while the water near the surface Is
still cool. Kverrtually the water at
the bottom reaches the pressure boil
ing point, when steam Is formed, lift
ing the water above it and causing
overflow at the top. This overflow
relieves the pressure, and nil that
part of the column where the tem
perature was previously below the
boiling point but now exceeds II.
flies into steam and oje, is the wnter
above with great violence
"The water thus erupted flows bach
Into the tube or percolates through
the porous lava nnd la reheated for
the ensuing eruption.
" 'Old Faithful,’ one of the more
prolific of the geysers, usuhlly erupts
every 65 minutes. The water Is
thrown out to a height between 130
and 170 /rot for four minutes. The
estimated discharge Is 200,000 gallons
at each eruption."
Bootlof^pprs Bury Booze,
Defiance, <),, March 17. -Bootleg
gers are working a new stunt here
In an effort to avoid arrest They
bury their stock in the ground, near
the outskirts of the city. Landing a
j prospective customer, they have him
i wait near the burled goods while they
no on ahead and get th« liquor.
Cal Kills C>iant Snake
and Brings Body Homo
Old Washington, JO,, March 17.—
Killing a hbirkenakei five feet long.
"Bruiser Hill,” .lames Warfield's cat.
kdragged the reptile's carcass home.
longed to Aunt Matilda." ns she re #n- |
tered. "1 thought you might like the
I. air."
"I thing not, and I—I’ve decided
not to take these after all," stammer- !
ed Helen. "We're not going right |
home— and they'll be so hard to j
carry
“Why that's all right, T can send
them—If you'll pay the expressnge."
"Xo, I—I really don't think I want
them after all. They're not just what
I thought and— Well, I don’t want
to take them."
"That's not the way I do business,”
bristling. "A sale's a sale! After
wasting my time pricing everything
in the shop—I mean the house—”
“You spilled the truth that time!'’
exploded Warren. "It's a shop, all
right—fixed up to land suckers. This
stuff’s ail planted here to sell. Aunt
Matilda's platters:” with a snort.
“Aunt Matilda turns 'em out by tl^e
gross In Bridgeport, Connecticut!"
"Why—what do you mean?” she
spluttered, her face brick red.
"Better put those letters away
when you've got customers. But I'Jl
ttand It. to you! That weasel story's
a peach!"
Ijivid with rage, the old woman
fairly shrieked maledictions after
them, as they made their way out.
Again In the muddy road, Helen
clung shudderingly to Warren's arm.
"Why did you egg her on? I was
almost afraid of her. I never saw
anyone In such a rage!"
"Peppery old hen,” he chuckled.
"Worth the ten to hear her squawk ”
"But who'd have thought It? In this
tumbled old house, way' out here—”
“Huh, lot of motoring out this way.
she's rented that house and rhueked
it full of stuff to sell. Whole place,
sign and all, is a plant. Did you see
that hunch of bills from antique
dealers? Bet she does a roaring busi
ness.”
“And I'm out ten dollars for a
cheap platter and goblet,” mourned
Helen.
"You got off easy. Might’ve been
stung for fifty. Darn clever stunt
salting that old house. Her stage
setting was great! The screen her
grandmother made and her grand
father’s clock! But she dldn t fool
me,” with maeculine egotism. "I was
wise to her game from the first."
Then ns he swung Helen over a
muddy pool.
"Never mind. Kitten, I’ll stake you
to the ten. Worth that to call her
bluff. Ha, ha, wasn't she peeved
when she found the j!g was up? She
saw y’ou were an easy' mark like most
of the boobs who’re dippy on antiques
— but she wasn't countln on ME!"
Copyright, 1923, by Mabel Herbert
Harper.
Next Week—Warren a Fretful In
valid.
AnvrBTTSF.MKhT.
To Peel Off Freckled,
Blotchy, Pimpled Skins
A. March wind*. flyla* dust and dir*. I
ar# apt to injura an/ eompl«*mn.
information will b« of tpwtml t*1u« Hfht I
nnw. If you hav# any rvitanaou* biemtsn.
it'd «aiy to remove tha disfigurement
with ordinary mereolirad wax. AppMad |
nightly. tha wax grailually removes
freckled, pimpled, moth patch**, dallow- ;
nee*, or any surface eruption. The af*
fcctcd cuticle i* absorbed; a littj* each
day. until the clear, soft. young and beau
tiful akin beneath i* brought wholly to
view Aik the druggist for on* ounce of
mercoiixed wax. uea like cold cream at
night, and remora in tha morning with
soap and water.
Dr. Charles Barnes
desires to announce his re
turn from the Abrams
clinic, where he has per
fected his technique in
Electronic Diagnosis and
Treatment as authorized j
by Dr. Albert Abrams.
The complete equipment
for the practice of the
Abrams methods has been
installed in his offices,
513-522 Securities Bldg.,
Omaha
Appointment* can b* mad* by
telephone or by mail.
MOVED
to 1512 Howard Street
NEBRASKA MOTORCYCLE A
BICYCLE COMPANY
AT Untie 2907
When in Omaha Stop at
Hotel Rome
MlVKRTHr.MKVT.
Don’t Squeeze Black
Heads—Dissolve Them
Squeeting and pinching out blackhead*
make the pore* large and eauae Irritation '
filackhead* are caused by accumulation*
of du»t and dirt and secretions from the
skin and there i« only one safe and sure ,
way and one that never fails to get rid ,
of them a simple way. too that is to
dissolve them. Jest get front any drug
• tore aixiut two ounces of cslonite powder
sprinkle a little on a hot. wet cloth
rub over the blackheads briskly for a
few seconds wash off and you'll he sur
prised to see that e\ery hlarkhead has
disappeared, and the skin will be left soft
and the pores in their natural rondltlon.
-T" # f I# I II
STEARNS’
ELECTRIC PASTE
i» rer ogn ixwl ax tbo guaranteed
exterminator for Corkrnacbc*, Ant^
Water bug*, Itutx and Mice.
Don’t waxtn time trying to kill Ihaaa
|>e«ix with nowdera, liquid* or any
experimental preparation*.
RMtfy For Uoo—Bottor Than Tropo
k’-o*. box, 36c J6-or. box, f 1.60
SOLD EVERYWHERE
“a
A
great
sale of
Typewriters
For more than three weeks w'e have been
making “special” effort to gather together
and “finish” in our shops 100 typewriters’ of
all different standard makes, which we
could offer in a great sale, at the lowest, most
ridiculous prices that Omaha has ever known.
These machines are now ready and will be
placed on sale Monday and all this week on
Easy Terms *
or Trade
•
These machines have been REBUILT, made
just like new in every respect. We guarantee
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There are L. C. Smiths, Royals, Remington?.
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own favorite make of machine for but a few
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If You Have an
Old Typewriter
Turn it in for
a New One
This great sale offers you a most remarkable
opportunity to turn in your “old machines”
for a new one. Don't hold ou to that old
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Take advantage of this sale while our gen
erous offer is in effect.
Look at
These Prices
Number 0 Oliver . . . ./.for only $129.75
Number .*> Monarch.for only $51.75
Number 10 Royals .for only $19.75
Number 10 Remingtons. . for only $1(1.75
Number 5 L. Smiths..for only $44.75
Number 5 Underwood .. for only $51.75
We will accept mail orders at the above
prices. Write for full information NOW.
A Brand New
Remington
Portable
Typewriter $60.00
It is the most compact of all writing machines: it
is n complete typewriter; has all the leading
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The “touch” of the Portable Remington is light;
its action is easy; its operation simple; it has been
built for strength and reliability.
During our great sale we will offer you the most
remarkable TERMS and the most liberal “trade
in” possibilities that you have ever known.
Cash in on your Old Portable . . it doesn’t
matter whether you have been using the Corona,
Remington Portable or the l/nderwood Portable.
Bring us your old machine. Big liberal trade in
offer now being made.
Re-Built Corona
Typewriters
We have a “selected” lot of rebuilt Corona type
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these wonderful little machines, just the same as
we do the brand r.< v machines, for ONE
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Just think of this price. Hurry in NOW, while
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Right - - - - $33.75
Our littJc hook. “Mv 20 Years' Study of Your
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There are no strings attached to your request.
It is free.
HARRY M. FF.RER,
President. All Makes Typewriter Co.
%
All Makes Typewriter Co.
205 South 18th Street Phone AT-lantic 2414
