TtED CLOUD, NEBRASKA, CHIEF
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Matrimonial Adventures
Peachblow
A Marital Extravaganza
BY
Rupert Hughes
Anllinr of "Souts for Sale,"
"llciuity." "Tho .(lift Wife."
".Ml. 318," "Tfir Amlalilo
Crime of IHcU Memllng,"
"Tim Olil Net," "tVhnt Will
riilf Kuy?", "Empty fork
et." "Tcpm of tit Htorm
Country," etc.
Cipyrlftht by United Tcftture Syndicate
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RUPERT HUGHES
I first met lluprt Hughes hov
oral years iiko. I But next to him
at dinner. Mr.JluitlieH w.ib then,
im now. very much In tho lime
light. Hut Mr. Hughes rill! not talk
nt all about hla own work. Ho
nskrii tile ubout mini-, nnd told of
how, once, when lie was an editor,
lie had cut nn tiutlior'H story In a
moment of sirens to till an exact
In space, and how that author
had minded. Ills fcelliiK still.
though this had happened years
before, was one of real regret for
that uuthor's chagrin.
It Is that uuallty of understand
Ins the other fcllow'H feelings that
gtwi htm surh a large hold on the
American public.
I asked him la-it winter when ho
first began to write, nnd he Bald
nt tho ago of suven and that ho
had been at It over since. A short
lime after ho left Valo ho had six
inonths' experience on a newspa
per. After that he had been an
editor on various magazines until a
little more than ten joars ago, but
that dining ihoao editorial jears
he had done a groat amount of
writing at night.
Ills output hai been enormous.
It Is Impossible to chronicle all of
his surcesscs In short stories, nov
els, plays and moving pictures. He
Is tib,o tho author of a musical
encyclopedia. It seems Incicdlblo
that ono man could do so much!
And yet ho wap Intensely Interested
In the lde.1 of thu Star Author Se
ries of Matrimonial Adventures and
at once agreed to write tho story
that follows.
"I'eachblow" Is an extravaganza
on nun rlage. It has, none the less,
an underlying suggestion for both
husbands nnd wives.
MAUV STEWART CUTTING, JU.
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Kvcn If Jt liail not lieon set down In
Holy Writ for it fact, there would ho
no osenpInK the truth of: "To him
Unit lintli, It shrill he Klven."
In our dictionary "him" of course,
Includes "her." Which In more than
he Is nhlc to do outside the dictionary.
This Is a hit of a story of a her
that had and therefore not.
The Lord himself, they say, was stir
lirl.sed when he saw her. Her earthly
father was so stunned with iirlde that
lie called her "Peachblow." And with
Kootl reason. She was horn just about
tho time when the Peachblow vase
was uN-cIUnK the world.
The unknown genius who was (ho
author of that masterpiece never
dreamed when he put It In the tire
that It would come out so wonderful.
And so the mysterious Potter who
places sotiW In the furnace of human
bodies was enchanted and amazed by
thu 'curious, unforeseen, unintended
beauty of this j;lil when she was born.
They bad selecte.d the name of KHen
.Anno (Ireen for her before they saw
her, hut afterward they called her
Peachblow.
Such a peculiar luster she had, with
the glow of 11 glaze, yet the aura of a
mist, that the Potter lontfcd to show
her how be loved her by endowing
her with some intentional gift sur
passim; even the fortuitous charm she
'brought with her out of the l;llu of
mystery.
So He ave her n power lie had
never even granted Himself that of
annulling what bad been and malting
it as If it had been. He authorized
her and empowered her to change her
mind and try again from the start!
She could rub out the past and do It
over again !
She learned of her awful power
only by accident and not until she had
passed through the animal whims of
childhood, and the parent-obeying,
teacher-obeying custom-obeying years.
Then she found herself In the world
x of grown-up women. They were think
ing of matrimony.
Somo were not married anil wanted
to be, but dreaded It and could not
llnd n satisfactory mate. Mates were
admirable, adorable or advisable, but
rarely all three at once. The women
who were married seemed to be for
ever pointing out what martyrs they
were and how well they stood It; or
else were longing to try a new form
of mnrtyrdiim with somebody else.
Peachblow longed for the Joys, the
sorrows, the burdens of home. SI10
wanted to do her share In the world;
to multlpb, and all that sort of thing.
"Love Is so glorious a thing that I
think I'd like to bo loved by the lov
Ingest lover In all the world."
She cast about for the person most
worthy of that distinction.
The man who seemed to be the lead
ing lover In respect to quantity and
quality was known to all tho world
as Claude Wlnvor. So she said:
"I think I'll marry Claude Wlnsor."
Her father nnd mother exclaimed
nloud :
"Hut he's n movlo actor and he's
married."
"Tho ilrst argues skill," she mused j
"hut tho second Is nn ohutaclo. I do
iwlsli ho had never been married."
There was nn audlblo click and
buzz, a peculiar Jolt In tho universe,
1 dizzy fooling s tf Bomctrtie had
thrown the world Into the revcrso
genr, then set It back In high. Tbo
fatally said:
"That's funny 1 Did you notice any
thing?" Then they forgot It and returned to
tho popular sport of denouncing tho
motion picture people and crediting
them with Inventing more novel sins
than situation1.
Peachblow was blue for several
Jays, nnd then sho chanced to read,
in the newspapers, this:
"Mr. and Mrs. Claude Wlnsor an
nounce that a curious error lias
been made In the public attitude to
ward their relationship.
"They have never been man led;
never have lived together, never have
been nn thing but friends, which they
still are, and might not be If they
had been married.
"Tho children that used to play In
front of their bungnlow are the chil
dren of a neighbor."
"Aba!" quoth Peachblow. "J will
marry this bachelor." And Immediate
ly began to pack her trunks. She told
her father to get her a stateroom to
Lot Angeles and her mother to come
along.
Her parents Indulged In mentnl pin
wheels when they heard her decision.
Hut nothing could vbange Peach
blow's mind. She went out to Los
Angeles, and sent one of her photo
graphs to Mr. Wlnsor with a request
for an Interview. That photograph
was letter of Introduction enough, and
she was Invited to call at the great
man's studio.
When she stood before his eyes, ho
said :
"Do you want to go Into tho
movies?"
"Well," ihe said, "I'm going to mar
ry Into them."
"Indeed? And wiio la the lucky
man?"
"You."
"Keally!"
"Uh-biih."
Pelng used to the silent drama nnd
hating superfluous titles, bo said noth
ing, hut took her by nn elbow, her
mother by an elbow, hurried them out
to his car, rin them to the nearest
pai'Min and said "Shoot!"
Tor a time the marriage was happy
and she revelled In the luxury of
being loved by an expert. I Jut then he
went back to his profession, nnd mor
tification set In.
Peachblow found herself the chat
tel of a husband who left her nnni
early In the morning nnd hastened to
the arms of other women; who fought
for them, pursued them, risked his
life to save their lives, gazed Into
their eyes with an ardor thnt trans
tlxed all beholders; who faded out of
every picture with a dying duck look
of undying affection for some highly
artlllclal beauty and then enmo home
nt night worn out with love nnd want
ed to go to tho American Legion prize
tight. After n few inonths Peachblow sent
for her mother and father and lis
tened to their "I told you so's" with
great patience.
They agreed with her that life with
such a husband was Impossible nnd
engaged the best divorce lawyer In
Los. Angeles. While they were bewail
ing the Inevitable newspaper horror,
the headlines, and all the hideous de
tails of divorce. Peachblow felt a re
newal of her occult power.
"Divorce nothing!" she said; "I'll
Just forget him. I'll Just unmarry
myself quietly, and erase my memory
from his mind."
She said tills in the very presenco
of Mr. Wlnsor who had called with
his lawyer to confer with Peachblow,
her parents and their lawyer, John
Klphlnstone.
As soon as Peachblow spoke, n curi
ous look came over Claude Wlnsor's
face. Again the earth Jolted and spun
backward, then raced forwnrd once
more.
"It's nothing," said Mr. Klphln
Btone, "hut one of our little California
earthquakes. Quite nothing nt all."
Ho slipped his arm about Peach
blow to sustain her, and found the at
titude singularly comfortable. Togeth
er they watched Claude Wlnsor star
ing nt them with a look of bewilder
ment. Then ho bowed nnd said:
"Pardon me, I entered the wrong
sot house, by mistake,"
llo staggered out and the next thing
ho knew be was sitting on his porch
dandling his baby before his original
wife while the publicity innn took
snapshots for tho magazines.
Mr. I'lplilnstono clung to Peachblow
until 1' r father Intervened and said :
"What right have you to stnnd there
embracing my daughter as If yotluvoro
announcing your engagement to her?"
"And why not?" said Klphlnstone.
"I see no objection," murmured
Peachblow who felt a sudden empti
ness In her life. "After all, who could
make a better husband than a
lawyer?"
And so In a short time expensively
engraved cards conveyed tho Infor
mation that Mr. and Mrs. Greene an
nounced the marriage of their daugh
ter Kllen Anne fo John Klphlnstone,
L'squlrc.
II
Those who have experienced it, say
that thero Is nothing like being tbo
wife of a lawyer. For a time Peach
blow agreed with this In Its simplest
Implication; then she amended It to:
"There's nothing like It because
nothing else could ho so bad."
Sho had n husband who tore himself
from her society of mornings and
went forth to do battle for women
clients over whoso wrecked lives he
waxed so eloquent that his tears were
rivalled by tboso of tho Jury and
strong judges bent their heads nnd
wept secrotly on tho papers vvhoro
Judges make Idle marks to pass nwuy
the time.
Klphlnstone not only spent hours
upon hours In his otllce with cxqulslto
clients whoso hands he patted, nnd
whose charms he expatiated on before
the courts, but he came homo and told
his wlfo about it.
lie wrote briefs as Impassioned nnd
as full of Imagination as any sce
nario mid then acted his own conti
nuities with llery enthusiasm, Ills
cases often took hlin to distant cities
nnd It was not always convenient for
Peaeiiblow to go with him.
There was such a strain upon her
natural Jealousy that she had to con
sult a ph.vslclan, JJr. S. Q. Lupins,
who hail a charming bedside manner
nnd soot lied her by suggestion rather
than by knife or nostrum.
After one notorious lawsuit In
which Klphlnstone wore himself nt
most to a wreck by his defense of n
wayward lady who had bankrupted
her husband and then sued him for
alienation of her affections, Klphln
stone came home fo llnd his mother
nnd fatlier-lu-law and the physician
trying to restrain Peachblow's hys
terics. When Klphlnstone approached
her solicitously sho cowered Into the
bosom of the doctor nnd screamed:
"Go uway; you are no longer n lilts
baud of mine; In fact, you never
were."
Klphlnstone was seized as by Invis
ible bauds and hnled backward to
his own olllce where he awoke with n
splitting headache and a strange gap
In bis memory.
Peachblow, once more miraculously
restored to maidenhood, said:
"After all. 11 doctor is the world's
most useful citizen. I believe I should
enjoy being a wife to one."
'"Parkls Is wlllln'." said the physi
cian, who was unusually well read for
a doctor. He persuaded nnother physi
cian to take care of his patients and
went away on a bridal tour of all
Imaginable bliss.
Ill
When ho came back Doctor Laplns
found thnt hH overworked substitute
had let his patients get well, and ho
had to buckle idovvn to the task of
restoring them to a state of protltablo
disorder.
He had bis ofllce In the parlor of
the home and this made It necessary
for Mrs. Peachblbw Lupins to enter
tain her friends in the upstairs living
room.
'Hie acoustics were such that she
could hear what went on In tho
rtlllce. The halest and heartiest
women constantly entered tho parlor
in a state of acute distress and after
long murmurous consultations ,wpnt
away so much better thnt Peaeiiblow
grew frantic with suspicion. Sho re
membered all too vividly bow gentlo
and soothing her husband had been
with her when she was another man's
wife. And she wondered, till her won
derment grew to he a bitter convic
tion. Worse yet, he was the slave of tho
telephone. At no hour of the day or
night was bo safe from the hateful
summons to hurry to the rescue of
some distressful patient. In nine eas!
out of ten It was a woman, and in no
cases out of ten was Peachblow evrr
urged to come along.
She so lost her taste for material
medicaments that she longed for spir
itual help, nnd went to her rector,
dear Dr. Clarence Yost, to confessier
misery.
She was set upon a divorce, hut ho
was horrified at the thought.
"Now an annulment would not be
bo bad," lie urged.
"All right, It's annulled," said
Peachblow grimly.
And Doctor Lupins found himself
back In bachelorhood. Hut Peachblow
bad come to depend upon Doctor Yost.
He lived In such an exalted sphere
and such a comfortable parsonage
that she decided to share both with
him.
IV
To her Intense confusion Peach
blow discovered that the feminine por
tion of the congregation took her mar
riage to their dear rector as a per
sonal Invasion of their rights.
For 11 time tho attendance 'fell off
noticeably. Hut gradually the lonely
women returned to their pews. Next
they resumed their habits of bringing
their woes to their spiritual ndvlser.
These were genuine woes beyond
the reach of scalpel or tonic, hut
Peachblow could not regard them as
anything hut a hypocritical excuse for
weeping on her husband's shoulder
and clinging to his rescuing hands.
Whether or not she did the women
n cruel injustice, the effect on her
nerves wns manifest. At last In a
crisis of unhapplness, she stormed :
"I'm sick of all the professions. I'm
going Into trade."
She unwished herself from Doctor
Yost and he once more assumed all
the charms of an unwedded clergy
man, eligible and available.
V
A merchant was Peachblow's next
first husband; handsome Junior mem
ber of the firm of Wnnn field & Son, at
whose great department storo shu had
long run up bills for her father to
protest agalnt and pay.
Hut when she called at his ofllce
she found him ho surrounded with
stenographers, buyers, mnnnlklns,
clonk models, designers nnd other
women customers and aides that sho
could hardly get to him.
His heart was given to providing ns
many women ns possible with beauti
ful garments and embellishments of
every Intlmnto sort, with perfume
nnd ribbons and lipsticks and what
not. Ho thought about fashions nnd
bo wns so weary of femlnino charms
and their enchantment thnt when ho
camo homo to his Penchblow ho left
at onco for one of his exclusively initio
clubs In order to keep his snnltgr.
A small shoe shop man wns Peach
blow's next experiment. Hut when sho
went by his storo nnd peeked In at
the window, she always found hltn
kneeling before some woman, or try
ing to crush n N'o. 0-15 foot Into a No,
4-A shoe; nnd Bho simply could not
endure It.
VI '
A plumber she mnrrled was forever
puttering about other people's homos
In the most personal crannies; and 1
she gave him up.
An Iceman followed him through '
her muclitrodden heart, but he, too,
had his kitchen doors to vMt.
Discouraged by her Inability to find
n husband In town who did not have
to spend a large part of his time and
attention upon other women, Peach- '
blow resoled to marry some homely
old fanner who lived In 11 solitude. !
Kzra Hopple was the happy man (
for a time. And he was so content
with Peachblow's society that ho
would not even ko,p a hired girl to
cook for the hired men.
He rose lit ! a. in. nnd bragged
nbout It. He woke her up to brag
about It. The fact that he had gone
to sleep at dusk did not abate his
pride The only poetry he knew was
something ending with "healthy,
wealthy and wl.se." She knew he was
neither wealthy nor wise, but she was
afraid he was healthy.
Her jealous little sonl had Its wish
nt last.
Hut a wish ceases to be a wish as
soon as It Is achieved. Like the candy
In the bonbon dish It Is apt not only
to turn sour but to wreck tbo appetite
as well.
Peachblow's latest Installment In
her serial husband never cast an In
terested eye on any other woman. Hut
this curiously made bis Interest In her
unimportant ; robbed him of suspense
nnd her of the drama of anxiety. He
was unskillful, uncouth, Illiterate In
femininity.
No other woman cast an eye In his
direction. Hut that was because he
hnd nothing attractive nbout him. And
the man who Is unable to Interest any
other woninn Is unable to Interest his .
wife. I
Poor Peachblow, having no rivals to
fear and having a husband who madn
no perilous comparisons, began to neg
lect herself. Her brauty wilted from 1
lack of attention. Her Incomparahlo
complexion Iwgnn to yield to farm
food nnd farm labor In farm weather.
She sighed: "It doesn't seem to
make much difference whnt man n
womnn marries; every one of tho
brutes has his own specialty In being
Impossible."
Hy this time Peachblow bad so dis
organized the machinery of tho uni
verse, thnt the world was In the
garage half the time; and all the
nngels exhausted.
It Is not such nn ensy nmtter for
even the nngels to keep everything go- I
Ing, especially when it goes backward
frequently. There was talk of n strike
In heaven and celestial society was
profoundly disturbed. The oldest
angels were forever talking of the
last big revolution when Lucifer and
his whole party were thrown over- j
board.
Hut bow wns the dreadful situation
to be changed? The Lord did not
want to cancel one of bis own gen
erous gifts to (mh of bis most beauti
ful creatures. Hut heaven was ceas
ing to be heaven for all Its deserving
tenants.
At tile height of this dreadful cos
mic crisis Peachblow In a frenzy state
of despondency, while slaving In her
kitchen, chanced to catch a glimpse
of herself in tho casual mirror In the
round bottom of a big dlshpan. She
had long ceased to consult her own
looking-glass.
The vision that stared at her from
that tiny surface shocked her Into n
sorrow too deep for hysterics. She
meditated on her own Image:
"Kvory husband Is worse than every
other husband. A womnn might ns
well stick to the llrst wretch she imp-
pens to marry. 1 was luckiest when
j I had the most lovable of men, and I
wish I had him back again, movie
actor though he be.
I "This fateful power, of mine has
I been my ruin. It's best to let nature
take her course. The one thing I
i most wish had never been Is my
1 ability to make things as If they
never hadfbeen."
j As she exhaled this last sigh, a dis
tinct earthquake was registered on
1 every seismograph In the world. The
' heavens shook, at llrst with surprise,
then with delight.
I Peachblow herself was shaken. Sho
I found herself staring at a dlshpan us
I If under a hypnotic spell. Slie heard
I her husband's voice from the dining
room door. It was tho voice of Claude
Wlnsor. the star surprise of the cine
j matle tlrinanient. Tho world might
share his silent beauty with her, but
I his voice belonged to her:
"What on earth are you doing In the
' kitchen, my darling? It's no place for
such exquisite grace. And besides I
( see that there's a ton of fan-mall thnt
1 you haven't answered. You haven't
I autographed any of my photographs
for me In ever so long. We've got to
get busy or we'll lose our llttlo pub
He." I With n cry of rapture she flung her
, arms about his universally admired
I neck and rejoiced in the fact that nt
I least n hundred million women of nil
nges nnd rncos about tho globe would
have been glad to pilson her for her
envlablo privilege.
Tho moral, If any, has to do with
' leaping out of tho frying pan Info the
I tire, Tho moral Is ancient; the fire Is
the same old Inextlngiilslmblo blaze
of discontent. Hut tho frying pan Is
forever new. Kach one of us ftirnlbhes
hla or her own frying pun. Selau 1
Your
New
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should be made
artistic, sanitary
and livable.
These walls should be Alabastined in the latest,
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reflect your own individuality and the, treatment
throughout be a complete perfect harmony in colors.
The walls of the old home, whether mansion or cottage, can bo
made just as attractive, just as sanitary, through the intelligent use of
wnfa
Instead of kalsomine or wallpaper
It is absolutely necessary if you expect Alabastine results that
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Avoid kalsomines under various names and insist on the package
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1035 Crandvllle Ave. Croud Rapids. Mich
I MIX IN ONE I
I MINUTE WITH I
I co ip wAicri j
Plant Growth and Sunlight.
Hecent experiments show that tho
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A man never appreciates good luck
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M
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has
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'SSPrvT 'I
if you arc discouraned trying to get ahead on high priced
location fails to give you onnortunity.
you. a new chance in the fertile, virgin
the 1D22 crop was biggest in history.
and fodder cron3 are the basi3of a great
work brings him success and prosperity.
the Last Great West
buy virgin prairie land at $15 to $20
near to town, railroads, etc. land such
nrlze wlnnlnn wheat, oats, barlcv. flax. rye.
land boom: orices arc not inflated vou cet
Rent Now Buy Later
Pay Out of Profits
Canada welcomes the Industrious settler.
What you have now isn't so important. If
lour capital is small, or you cannot sell your
present holdings to advantage, rent a fertile
Canadian farm and "trv It out" for n season
or two. Make a good living, increase your
capital, and buy later. Farms may be rented
from successful settlers on easy terms; in
some cases with option of purchase.
GAHAMj
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