The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923, January 27, 1916, Image 3

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RED CLOUD, NEBRASKA, CHIEF
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Y
Kin Hubbard
Miss Fawn Lippincut on the
"Menace of Good
Dy KIN HUBBARD
, A llttlo smnttcrln' o' th' llomu Mnk
crH' Club mot In ordinary scs
bIoii, jlstorday, In tli Quoen Anno
room o Hi Now I'nlaco hut-tcl. After
nomo seventeen cr eighteen receipts
for rhubarb lind boon tabled th' qucs
Hon ns t' what sort o' a girl mado
th' best houRowlfo wuz thrashed out.
,Th' Bliop girl, th' college girl, th'
girl with th business education, un'
th' tlrod lirtfon lovln' girl with th
yollor nook an' big eyes wero nil free-
"After Gome Seventeen er Eighteen Receipts fer Rhubarb Had Been Tabled
th' Question as t' What Sort o' a Girl Made th' Best Housewife Wuz
Thrashed Out."
ly discussed till th' last cheese straw
wuz gono an' th' tea wuz cold.
Th' sensation o' th' afternoon came
when Miss Kawn Lippincut In a
rlnpjn' nddrcsa llnyed her sex In
round boll Ilko tones thnt penutrnted
clean Inf th' pool room. Miss Lippin
cut had not spoken an hour until her
retrcatln' chin an' red noso wero en
tirely forgotten an' th' club members
wuz completely carried away on th'
wave o" hor eloquence. Among other
things Miss Lippincut said:
"Tiler's all th' difference- in th'
world betweon good dirt chasln'
housekeeper an' a homo maker. I
don't caro whether a girl has hnd a
happy, care free lawn tennis college
carcur er not. wrltln' n tall vertical
hand won't mako a happy home. A
girl kin bo up on (Jreck Mythology
nn' understand sanitation an' utterly
fall in bollln' an egg. A girl with a
thorough business education Is Jibt
as likely f miss a cob web cr bunglo
up a elght-cgg filbert tart as a pam
pered daughter o' tli rich. She may
bo ablo t' copo with th' comer grocer's
double entry system o' chargln',
Education,
Problems
By KIN HUBBARD
Hon. Wick Peel, o' Hloom Center,
Ohio, addressed th members o' Hnld
Knob Grnngo. Number 28, nt Melodeon
Hall last night, takin' fer his subject,
"Education, Plowln' nn' Problems o'
th' Day." After orderln' th' gallery
windows raised ho said:
"I will say without fear o' success
ful controversy that thcro Is no longer
any doubt that th' pllln' up o' tre
mendous fortunes an' then boqucnthin'
om t' colleges an libraries Is doln'
much t' breed n dangerous sentiment
"Ever'buddy Seems t' Be Figaerin' onth' Day When They Kin Lay Down th'
Shovel an' th Hoe an Pick Up Ther Suit Case an' Go. Ever'buddy That's
Got a Job Considers It Only Temporary That a Flno Position Awaits
Em."
ngln plowin an other manual labor.
Thor kin novor bo anything in com
raon between enlightenment an' drud
gory, an' th' less wo know th more
bountiful will bo th yield from our
fortllo valloys. Suroly th young man
who Is educated nn' reads th adver
tlsln pages o' our current lltoraturo
haint goln t plow now land an blow
stumps very long when ho kin tnko a
fnw lessons by mall nn' then hunt a
lino position In a great city where
ther'a llfo an' excitement.
"Ever'buddy seems t bo flgurln' on
th' day when they kin lay down th'
shovel nn th' hoe rn' pick up thor
suit enso an' go. Ever'buddy thnt'8
got a Job considers It only temporary
that a flno position awaits om.
"You can't expect a fellor that's
dlggin' a collar er dralnln' a farm, nn'
who sinks Inf a chair over evenln' at
th' closo o' a hard kidney rnckln' day,
nn' reads o' th' allurln' opportunities
t' mako great fortunes by learntn' this
or that, t' keep from beln' roBtlvo.
Somehow ft roller novor llkos t' hop
right out o' collego an' go t' work. Ho
seoms f want t look around for a few
years. An" It's glttin' so fellers with
out any oducntlon nro glttin th' same
inclination from Jlst lookln on. Thor
seems V bo a growln' tendency 'mongst
young men f otop aside till Bometh In
that Jlst Bulls "em cornea along. That'B
isay
Housekeeping"
but th' average feller hain't lookln'
for n business iartnor when ho goes
nftcr n wlfo. A girl that peeln t'ma
tors In n cannery or sows buttons on
four dollar coats Is Jlst ns llablo f
mako a hnpp home ns th' gushln'
dame that meets her husband with
tipon arms an' n dresaln' Jacket.
Show mo a llrst class housekeeper an'
I'll show you ti Kilt edged billiard
player, or a husband thnt belongs t'
all tli lodges Show mo a wlfo with
her head filled with tecolpts for fur-
nlturo polish f th exclusion o'
ovcr'thlng that's beautiful an wifely
an' I'll Ehow you a husband that's
tryin' f git a travolln' position that'll
keep him uway from homo as much as
possible. No matter what n wlfo has
been she must understand Uiobo llt
tlo touches thnt mako married llfo
tolcrahlo oven If th' curtains do hang
crooked an' th windows need washin'.
An' Intellectual girl should remain
slnglo er not ho heard. Th' average
husband has a hard onough time tryin'
t' nrguo in th' corner drug Btoro with
out bavin' some ono nt homo t' show
him up over' tlmo ho offers an opin
ion. No matter how Inferior a hus
band may bo ho should he allowed
th' freedom o' his own homo If ho
shows th' least disposition t' provide.
"Thnt lovo an' companionship so net
essary t nn endurln' mnrrlago '11
alius bo absent in a homo where th'
rollln' pin gathers no moss In a home
where tit evenln' meal is served on
doilies. No husband likes f feel like
ho wuz cntln' off o' th' Thousand
Islands."
(Protected by Adams Nowspnjipr Porvlc o )
Plowing and
of the Day
th' way we git our solicitors an' poli
ticians. With knowledge comes dis
content. T' bo poor an' educated Is
even worso than heln' rich nn' dys
peptic. A fine education Is like a line
tourln' car. You should not havo
cither unless you nro ablo t' take caro
o' th' upkeep, 'I wish I had his money
with my brains' Is a common expres
sion, an' every man with a fortuno
would give It all to bo young ngln, an'
In a nlcklo tho-nter.
"Hut th' great question Is, who Is
goln' t' do th' work after wo're all edu-
cnted nn holdln' positions? Aflor our
Poles and Hunyaks git educated an'
discard their hobnailed shoes an' gar
lic an' loaf around our grent public
llbrarios whoso goln' t' take th' kinks
out o' th' street car tracks an' do th'
thousand other things that th' com
monest Amorlcnn has long since
passed up?
"As long ns wo educate people t'
bettor things they'll try t' git 'cm. Th
young man o' t'day hiisn't got timo t'
wait fer th' nntural courBO o' events.
No bottom o' th' ladder fer him. Ho
wnnts t git on from th' roof. Th'
fnrraor that talks glowln'ly V his son
o th' beauties o' Niagary Falls an edu
cates him f bcllovo It's th' greatest
algbt In th' world needn't bo surprised
If ho gits up somo bright mornin' an'
finds thnt his son has flown Instead o'
plowin' fer oats. All knowledge o'
Niagary Falls should bo withhold from
a Bon until ho Is well on In years.
"Hut, my friends," Haul th' speaker,
as th' npplauso began to dwindle, "In
splto o' any legislation er educational
processes th' olo rollnblo law o" th'
survival o' th' fittest cannot bo re
pealed. It will bo with us long nftor
ther's a library on ever' hill an' a col
lego near over' loglBlnturo, an' th
nonproduccr will contlnuo t' bo a pen
Blouor on thrift an' contentment."
(Protected by Adams Newspaper Service.;
WANTED A BABY
WITH RED HAIR
Husband's Order Listed as Cruel
ty in Wife's Suit for
Separation.
HER BEAUTY IN DANGER;
i
i
Man Promlced to Smash Her Face and i
Spoil Her Eyes If Child Was Not j
Redheaded, Allenca
the Wife.
New York -John Moss Stuart n me- ,
chunlcnl engineer, was sued in the su
preme court for n separation by Mrs.
Kolyn M. Stuart, who alleges thnt
since their marriage In Michigan City,
Intl., In Hll. her husband has been
"uniformly unkind and ciuel " Ono of '
the charges of cruelty Is that ho in
sisted on having a red-haired child.
Mrs. Stuart says her hublmtid has ivn
ungovernable temper anil "llles Into ,
angry rages." Sho says one objection
to him lu that ho had the habit of com- '
lug 'homo Horn his trips unannounced.
When they wero living at "HO Hlvur- i
sldo drive in 1!)12 Mrs. Stuart was out I
lato ono evening and when nho re- I
turned sho found her husband in bed. j
Ho abused her and insisted on know- '
lng where sho had been. She named I
two restaurants sho had visited with
friends. On the following night her j
husband took her to these places und
to hor great mortification ho led her
before the doorman and head waltor
In each place and asked If sho had
been there with nnothur man the provl-
ous night.
Her Beauty in Danger.
Mrs. Stuart said that In 1013, when
sho and her husband wero passing n
Bioadwny restaurant with members of
her family, ho stopped and Bald to the
otherj. ' Sho knows too d much
about theso places." Whllo they wero
living nt the Imperial hotel in tliu fall
of that year she says ho told hor to
go tc her homo In Chicago becauso he
had nn engagement to take another
woman to tho Army and Navy foot
ball game.
The plaintiff nlloged that at the Ho
tel Chnlfonto In Atlantic City last year
her husband told her ho was through
with her and in April last, while they
Files Into Angry Rages.
were leaving tho npartment houso nt
Content avenuo and Ono Hundied and
Forty-ninth street, hor husband sud
denly turned and ran back to tha
houso saying ho intended to leave her.
Sho followed him and when ho locked
tho door with tho chain sho tried to
open It. Ho caught her arm in the door
and Injured her so seriously phe
fainted.
When Mrs. Stuart expected nn heir
last April sho alleges that her husband
said : "If that baby hasn't got red hair
I won't havo anything to do with It.'
In July, when thoy wero living at 782
West End avenuo, Stuart is alleged tn
have said: "I'll change that smile on
your countenance. I'll smash your face
and spoil your pretty bluo eyes."
Mrs. Stuart Bnyn hor husband told
her ho would rathor cut his throat
than llvo with her longer.
MAN THOUGHT DEAD RETURNS
Thlrty-Flvo Years Ago This Indlanlan
Sold Hlo Property and Quietly
Disappeared.
Connorsvlllo, Ind. Jacob Do Ilavcn,
sovcnty-flvo, long belloved dead by
relatives hero, has Just returned to
Connorsvlllo aftor an absence of thlr-ty-flvo
years. When ho appeared at
tho door of his nephew, Sarauol Do
Ilavcn, tho family did not recognlzo
him.
Do Haven, onco a prosperous farm
er of this community, sold his placo
ono day and departed without saying
a word to nny ono. It was reported
that ho was Ulllod by bandits in tho
West. Ho says' that ho followed tho
sea and Bpont several yearB In the
Orient and south seas.
Says Grape Juice Made Him Drunk.
Sharon, Pa. Henry Hancee was ar
rested recently on a chargo of being
drunk and disorderly. Ho insisted that
ho had swallowed only a llttlo bit of
grapo Juice.
-5 PIT !
What Does
Catarrh Mean?
It means inflammation of n
mucous membrane some
where in the head, throat,
bronchial tubes, stomach, bil
iary ducts or bowels. It always
means stagnant blood the
blood that is full of impur
ities. Left alone, it extends
until It Is followed by indigestion,
colds, congestion or fever. It wc.ikcns
the sstein generally nnd spreads Its
operations until ostcnilc catarrh or
an acute illness Is the result.
Peruna
Is the nation's reliable remedy for
this condition. It restores appetite,
aids digestion, checks and removes
Inflammation, nnd thus enables the
membranes, through which w e breathe
and through which our food is ab
sorbed, to do their work properly.
Forty-lour years of success, with thou
sands of testimonials, hae established
It as the home remedy Kvcr-Heady-to-Takc.
Its record of success
holds a promise for you.
THE I'ERUNA COMPANY
COLUMIlUS. OHIO
You can obtain Tcruna In tablet form
for convenience.
Their Favorites.
Harold What Is jour
favorite
game?
I'voljn- Quail on toast. And yours?
Harold- ICagles on $20 gold pieces
WHY SUFFER SKIN TROUBLES
When a Postcard Will Bring Free
Samples of Cutlcura?
Which givo quick relief for all Itch
ing, burning, disfiguring skin troubles,
llathn with tho Cutlcura Soap and hot
water. Dry and apply Cutlcura Oint
ment to tho affected part. Thoy stop
Itching Instantly nnd point to npecdy
henlmcnt often when all olso falls.
Kroo Bamplo each by mall with nook.
Address postcard, Cutlcura, Dcpt. L,
Iloston. Sold everywhere. Adv.
Good Riddance.
Andrew Carneglo said at a luncheon
In his Fifth avenue, mansion overlook
ing Central park:
"The captain of industry hn.i disap
pearedand good Job, too.
"I lefcr, of eourso, to that typo of
captain of Industry which Is lampoon
ed In the tombstone story.
"'Did jou hear about the horrible,
horrible defacement that has ha
poncd to the tombstone of tho captain
of industry, poor old Trillions ?' Bald u
banker.
"'No.' said his companion 'What
did tho defacement consist of?'
"'Somo scoundrel added tho word
"friends" to tho poor fellow's epitaph.'
"'Yes And what was tho epitaph?'
'"It was. "Ho did his beiL
More Important Than Baby.
A well-known Moblllnn who Jives In
tho suhurbB had an addition to his
barnyard In tho shnpo of a flno calf
of tho Jersey breed. A week later
thcro was an arrival lu tho houso, his
wlfo presenting him with a 10-pnund
daughter. The day aftor tho little
girl camo tho father was stopped
downtown by a lady who had known
him nnd his wlfo all their lives.
Assuming a very Impresslvo air,
sho said:
"Havo you got at your houso some
thing for which you havo boon wait
ing n long timo?"
"I most certainly havo," ho replied.
"What 1b It?" tho lady asked al
most breathlessly.
"A full-blooded Jersey heifer calf,"
he exclaimed. Mobile Iteglstcr.
A Food Fact
to Remember
Seventeen years ago a food was originated that combined the en
tire nourishment of the field grains wheat and barley with ease of
digestion, delicious taste and other qualities of worth designed to fill a
widespread human need.
Today that food
Grape-Nuts
has no near competitor among cereal foods in form or nutritive value,
nor has it had from the start.
Grape-Nuts on the Breakfast Menu builds and maintains body,
brain and nerves as no other food does. Ready to eat, economical,
appetizing.
"There's a Reason"
JOIN THE THINKERS' CLUB
Grocers everywhere sell Grape-Nuts.
Certainly Net.
"You talk and talk, but ou don t
know what nu nro talking about.'"
"Mnybo not. However, this In a Tree
round y. I hope!"
"Oh, eH"
"With fieedoni of speech?"
"Assuredly."
"Well, Just because I don't happen
to lie In public llfo In no reason why
I shouldn't ho entitled to the samo
privilege a congressman enjoys."
Ifnr Murine nf(or liximniiro In Cntit.
Cutttm: Winds a ml Dust. It llotlnrt m.
Hefri'DlicH aim rromoicM i;vo ihmiiii i
' ('noil for nil 13y'H that Nt'Cil Cure.
I Murine Kyn Kenirily Co., Chicago,
Hindu Uju Hook on iTHiii'Ht.
There Is nn place Ilko home, but
that h no excuse for bulling around
the io Instead of going out and hunt
ing a Job.
Dr. 1'n'tce' IVllct nre Wl fer hwr,
bow ell Mini Miuniili. One hlile IVllct for
n l.i mi live tliuo for a nithurtic. Adv.
The dally output of the Tutted
States mint nt Philadelphia is estimat
ed at 11011.000.
. . I'llrs Kctlpcl hv I IrM Aniillrittfntt
Anilrtlri.il lllltltl Uil ItM h, I'AVM lilNl I'MIC. t fhn
I iiimvitmI ri'iiii'ily tnrnil rmiiit or I'lU'A UruuiilMn
ruruml imjin'7 IllUmiu. Wo.
When n fool doesn't
he fools a lot of fools
net likit a fool
There nro 't.r.OO.OUO
I'nlted States.
(.'(ilfers In tho
THE NEWEST REMEDY FOR
BACKACHE, RHEUMATISM AND DROPSY
Kidney, Bladder nnd Uric Acid trou
bles bilng misery to tunny. Whon
tho kldneyB aro weak or diseased,
theso natural (liters do not cloauso
tho blood BUlllclontly, and tho poisons
aro carried to nil parts of tho body.
Thcro follow depression, achoa and
pains, heaviness, drowsiness, irrita
bility, headaches, chilliness nnd rhou
mutism. In somo people thcro nro shnrp
pains In tho back and loins, distressing
bladder disorders and sometimes obstl
unto dropsy. Tho uric acid sometimes
foima into gravel or kltlucy Btonos.
When tho uric acid affects tho muscles
nnd Joints It onuses lumbago, rheuma
tism, gout or sciatica. This Is tho timo
to send Dr. l'lorce, invalids' Hotel,
lluffalo, N. Y., 10efor largo trial pack
ago of "Anurlc."
During digestion uric acid Is ab
sorbed into tho system from moat
UNCLE JOSH'S FIRST THOUGHT
What Might Have Been Expected From
Man of Intensely Practical
Turn of Mind.
Thoy wero speaking about looking
on tho practical sldo of things, and
this Incident was recalled:
Olio afternoon Into in tho fall Uncle
Josh wns driving slowly toward tho
town when an acquaintance excitedly
rushed out to tho road ami hulled
him.
"Say, Josh," ho c.clalmcd In a pal
pitating voice, "hnvo yo heard tho
nowB?"
"No, don't knlkerlato I havo," re
sponded Unclu Josh, sociably stopping
his team. "What kind o' iiowb Is It?"
"Jim Smith committed sulcldo,"
answered tho other. "Hung himself
from a beam lu the bnm."
"Is that so?" thoughtfully rejoined
Undo Josh. "Wonder If ho got all of
his corn husked?" I'hllndolphla Tolo
graph. Has To Be,
"Our alimony club Is very econom
ical." "Well, It goes without Baying that
an alimony club has to husband Its
means."
Alasl Too True.
"Art Ib long," quoted tho mornllzer.
"Yes," rejoined tho demoralizer,
"but most artists aro short."
I Your!
Tn Fss-st
Duty
is to your Stomach, ns
this important organ
controls your health,
your strength and gen
eral happiness.
For any Stomach or
Bowel weakness try
H
OSTETTER'S
Stomach Bitters
PARKER'S
HAIR BALSAM
A toilet ir-nrallnn lit nicilt.
jnlatirrlliiitiilMiilrtill.
For Ilrttnrtnir Color nnd
Uenutytolirnynrl mliilildlr.
6'v. nml ll.ii m In Mirulcl i
eaten, and oven from somo vcgetnblos.
Tho poor kidneys get tired and back
ticho begli.s. This Is a good timo to
tako "Anurlc," tho now discovery of
Dr. Plerco for Kidney troublo and Back
ache Neglected kldnoy trouble is
responsible for runny deaths, nnd In
nurnnco Company examining doctors
always test tho water of an applicant
boforo a policy will bo Issued. Hava
you over Bet asldo a bottlo of water
for twenty-four hours? A heavy sedi
ment or Bottling somotlmes Indicates
kldnoy troublo. If you wish to know
your condition send a Bamplo of your
water to Dr. PIcrco's Invnlldn' Hotol,
lluffalo, N. Y nnd describe symptoms.
It will bo examined without nny ex
pense to you, nnd Dr. I'lorco or bis
medical Btaff will Inform you truthfully.
Anurlc Is now for Bale by dealers, In
COc pck'gs.
I IMMENSE FIELDS OF LAVA
North America Has Two of the Great
est That Arc Known to Exist
In tho World.
Tho valley of tho ancient Snnko
river In Idaho was Hooded with greut
outpourings of black lava, which
spread out sheet on sheet, buried tho
old laud Biirlaco, and partly tilled tliu
valley with molten rock, which sotuli
lied and remained to this day undis
turbed except for tho gorges that tho
streams havo cut lu It. lu somo places
old mountains project through tho pet
rilled lava Hood ns islands project
nbuvo the surface of tho sea, and old
ridges stick out Into it ns capes und
promontories. Tho area covered by
tho Snako rlvor luvn is about 20,000
square miles. So far ns is now known,
thero Is but ono lava Held lu North
America of grcntor extent, tho Colum
bia rlvur lava Held, which covers about
200,000 square miles. In Snnko Ilivcr
canyon below Shoshone falls nearly 700
feet of horizontal shcots of lava are
exposed, but whether this Is tho maxi
mum thickness or not cannot bo told.
Sticks In His Crop.
"What'B IJadger looking so sour
over?"
"Ho waB forced to s wallow his pride
and ho can't digest It."
To get a run for your money chaao
a street car.
MM
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