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RED CLOUD, NEBRASKA, CHIEF
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Kin Hubbard Essays
TH' COST
By KIN
"When I look nt Hi young dudes
who arc Bcnmporln' nronml these dnys
wcnrln' belted ncnr-chlnchilly over
coats nn" yllor sIiooh, nn' th bar
throated, closo -noted springers with
ther hnlr matted o'er ther oars, I rivn't
help cxprcssln' th' npprclieiiHlon I fuel
for th' comln' generation," said 'loll
Ulnkloy, as Mr. lOrslo non nn' Miss
Vluctto MoppB whisked by th' black
Bnntli shop nn' dnrted uputnlru t' th
tango acudoiny In th' K. of P. ball.
Contlnuln', Mr. Illnkloy said:
"After n feller gltB thro spnrkln
thesu days bo's Insolvent. Lots o' gool
senfilhlo fellers would like t' git mar
ried but they don't feel able t' spark.
They can't afford f tako th' time an
money. If n feller could git married
after n week's sparkln' he might bo
nblo t' scrape up enough money t
Mf mBk St'lii TO'1!:'
"Young Dudes Wearln' Near-Chlnohllly an' Yellcr Shoeo, an' th Bare
Throated Close Reefed Springers With Ther Hair Matted O'er Ther
Ears."
stock a flat, that In, by forogoln' n
weddin' trip. Out th' rnodorn girl
seems C demand n long extravagant
courtship before she's wlllln' f glvo
in an' drop out o' sight. Then th
young husband llnds himself bank
rupt with n ycller cane, a plug hat, n
suit o formal clothes nn' a doll on his
hnnds. With each spurt o' economy
her lovo grows colder. Ho gits tired
o' lookln' shiny an' her muff goes out
o' date. A separation soon toilers
th' wlfo returns t" her olo homo on
Chestnut street an' th' husband Joins
his regiment on th' rlalto.
"Hack In th' good ole days o' th'
fushln nosegay, ice cream parlors, cin
namon drops, spruco gum, autograph
THE LITTLE TOWN
By KIN HUBBARD.
Stew Nugent is at homo t' put his
feet undor his mother's table. Ho
has been t' th' city fer thrco years
nn' says that th' troublo with a little
town Is thnt ovor'buddy knows over'
buddy elso's business. That's th'
reason Stow went away three years
ago, an' It's ono o' th' best things
about a llttlo town. You know who
your noxt door nolghbor Is In a llt
tlo town, an' you know who lives over
th' hardwaro storo. An' you know
who's ablo t' havo a tourln' car an'
you know who's able t' own ono.
In a city whoro you don't need no
other credentials but a good front, an'
"I Wonder What They're Doln' at Home?"
whero you'vo got th' choice o' lots o
groceries, U'b different. Somo folks
nourish In a city that couldn't buy a
box o' corn flakes on time in ther
homo town. Somo fellers npologlzo
fer llvln' In a llttlo town. When you
ask 'cm whero ther from they color up
an' stammer an' stutter an' say, "I
er why 1 I'm from Rossvillo that
Is my folks llvo ther. Well, I've been
livln' ther too, but I'm thinkln' o' goln'
t' Chicago. Thor's no opportunities In
a little town for a young man." An'
when you slio him up you can't bolp
plcturin' what a flurry he'll causo
when he gita ther. O' course lota o'
folks that go f th city succeed, but
thoy'vo got th' olo homo metal in 'cm.
But whether they succoed er fall, th'
Rlchea In Honduras.
Honduras Is a rich country and Its
resources remain In almost a virgin
condition. It possesses a climato that
tarles with Ha topography, the torn
poraturo on the coasts bolng hot, In
tho lowlands of the Interior It Is warm,
and In tho mountains It Is temperate
and In Borne places cold. Its moun
tains abound In minerals, and Its
tablelands and valleys aro especially
adapted for rotalng cattlo and for agriculture.
0' SPARKIN'
HUDBARD.
nlbums an' natural complexions, a fel
ler had a chance t' win n heart with
out th' iiso o' dancln' pumps, or with
out negluctln' his business nn' dcnyln'
himself ninny o' th' rcnl necessities o"
life. Lovo mukln' wtiz nlmost self-sus-talnln'
In ISSo. Girls looked nbend o'
ther noses, nn' th' feller who gnvo
promise ' being' nblo t' Biipport n wlfo
oventunlly wu. tieatod llku one o',th
boys. (Ilrls didn't mnko love o'er th'
chop sucy bowl or In n secluded alcove
o' tli stuffy ballroom. An' they dldn'
expect t git on th' nutpldu of n few
cocktails an' n lllet mlgnon nfter ever'
performance o' Th' Two Orplintu or
I'nst l.ynno. Th' parlor or th' narrow
livery rig wu. th' clearlu' houso fer
affairs o' th' heart
"What's th' sense o' exhaustln' all
th' pleasures o' llfo durln' th' llrst few
months o' courtship an' finally marry
In' f git rid o' each other? Why not
save a few pleasures besides Niagara
Falls t' look forward f after you vo
satlslicd th' installment houses? Mar
riage at best Is quite a comedown fer
most any girl, 'specially If her en
gagement period wuz one long an
riotous dream. An' when th' tale tell
in' furrows o' enro an' disappointment
begin t' nppear In her face, an' she ap
peals f a young husband for a new
pair o' shoes It haint goln' f git him
nothln' f say, 'Wuzn' I nllus good t'
you In th' old days, Nell?'
"It's fer better t' havo loved an'
kept still about it than It is f stall
along on nothln'!"
memory o' olo scenes an' faccB grows
greener an' greener ns th' years roll
by an' many a timo ther hearts swell
with a longin' f bo back.
In th' great city parks th' benches
aro filled with poor unfortunates from
tho llttlo towns who havo tried hard
an' failed. Pride alono keeps 'cm from
rcturnin' t' th' olo homo town an' they
becomo aimlcBs wanderers on th' faco
o' th' earth an' aro lost an' forgotten
in th' mist o' timo.
A four-flusher Jlst seems f bo
cut out fer th' artificiality o' th' city,
an' that's where ho ought to llvo. Hut
If you want t' llvo a honest, quiet,
peaceful llfo nn enjoy th' lovo an'
conlldonco o' your frlcndB an' neigh
bors, ther's co placo liko th' llttlo
town whero th' sheep aro separated
from th' goats, whero one-half th' poo
plo knowB how th' other half lives,
whero respectability is a real asset,
whero a K. of P. watch charm won't
savo you If you can't toe th' mark, an'
whero you'ro remembered long, after
th' hearse gits back t' th' livery stable.
(Protected by Adams Newspaper Service.)
And She Usually Does.
The same girl may appear divine
to a young man, bovlno to the disin
terested observer, and feline to an
other woman. Louisville Courier
Journal.
Adage Traced to Bible.
"A llttlo bird told me," Is an almost
universal adage based on tho Idea that
this ubiquitous wanderer from the
vantago of tho upper air spies out all
strango and secret things and tolls
them to those who can understand.
Thus In EccleslasteB 10:20: "Curse
not tho king, no; not In any thought;
and curso not tho rich In thy bed
chamber; for tho bird or the air shall
carry tho voice, and that which hath
wings shall tell the matter."
99 YEARS IN JAIL
FINED $1,000,000
Creek Indian Woman Has Be
come a Nuisance, Said
Police Judge.
-
Muskogee, Okla. Pollco Judgo Ed.
I. Williams ban assessed upon Mandy
Simon, a Creek Indian woman, n lino
of $1,000,000 and sentenced her to I'D
years in the city Jail. Sho has been
In tho pollco court hero virtually overy
week for sovornl yearn,
Judgo Williams said ho set tho lino
no high and sentenced her to Hit
years becnuso ho did not want her
over to be at lnrgo again. Tho Judge's
actions woro recorded in tho record
books of tho pollco department and
ho was supported by Chief of I'ollco
.loo Depow. Said Judgo Williams:
"Mnudy has been n continual pest
to tho city of Muskogen for years.
Sho was nlwnys causing troublo by
"One Million Dollars and Ninety-Nine
Years."
getting drunk and doping up. Count
ing nil tho times sho has been sen
tenced in this court, I would estimate
that had sho served her timo sho
would have served somo Ilftoen years.
I will boo to it personally that sho
spends tho remainder of her days in
tho Muskogoo jail."
KNOWS NOTHING OF HIS PAST
Middle-Aged Tennessee Man Loses All
Memory as to His Iden
tity. Chattanooga, Tcnn. Tho medical
society hero in studying tho caso of a
middle-aged, wdll-drcssed man who
has suffered a complete lapse of mem
ory. Ho has been In Chattanooga sev
eral days and is registered as "D. O.
Harris," but ho says ho took that
namo after ho discovered himself to
havo forgotten all facts of his identity.
Ho says ho was on a train between
Dluolleld, W Va.. and Ashoville, N. C,
when ho realized his mental lapso.
Nothing In his clothing or effects gnvo
a cluo, except his Inundry, which bears
the Initials J. D. M. Ho remained In
Bristol two or thrco days and then
camo to Chattanooga.
Ho has Rufllclont monoy for present
needs, but tho supply of clothing car
ried in his grip reveals tho fact that
ho didn't expect to mako a long trip.
Local doctors promlso him n series of
memory tests and caro will restore
him to a normal condition. Ho Is
greatly worried for fear his pcoplo,
whoovor thoy arc, will think him dead,
as well as because of bis fear that ho
will nover recover.
BRUIN TREED BY CHILDREN
Six Tots From a Rural Schoolhouse In
California Throw Scare
Into Bear.
Redding, Cal. Six schoolchildren,
tho oldest of them aged nlno, treed n
bear at tho Oak Run schoolhou..o n
few days ago.
During tho afternoon recess while
tho tots wore at play bruin ambled
Into the schoolgrounds. Tho children,
barking like dogs, took nftor tho bear,
who, taking fright, climbed a treo to
get out of danger.
Miss Vivian Rrauer called tho chil
dren into tho schoolhouso, locked the
door and, womanllko, pulled down tho
blinds.
A few minutes later the bear
climbed down tho treo and ran Into
Amos Welch's flold, 60 yardB further
up tho creek. Wolch shot and killed
it Thcro was a barbecuo at tho Oak
Run schoolhouso tho following day.
KILLS HORSES TO SAVE HOME
Wife Tells Why She Poisoned Hus-
band's Racers on Which He
Spent Fortune.
Lorain, O. Mrs. Margaret Clark,
sixty years old, told Judgo Thompson
in common pleas court that she poi
soned her husband's two raco horses
at tho Elyrla fairgrounds because sho
desired to savo tho rest of her prop
erty. "My hUBband has spent a fortuno In
tho racing game," said Mrs. Clark,
"and I gavo tho two horses, which
wero as much mlno as his, poison, In
order to save the remainder of our
possessions."
li ill Ulli J !',:. I,.,.
SWAMP-ROOT STOPS
SERIOUS BACKACHE
When your back nchc", and your hind
dcr and kidneys fcem to lie disordered, re
member It in nccdloM to fuller ko to your
nearer! drug utorc and get a bottle of Dr.
Kilmer' Swamp-Hoot. It i n pliy.iHnn'i
prescription for dilates of tho kidneys
and bladder,
It Imp tood tlio teat of year and haa
a reputation for quickly and effectively
Riving results in thousand ot enn-a.
This nreserintion wn, nrd In- Or. Kll.
tner in hia private practice and wan no '
very effective that It lias been placed on '
Mle everywhere. (Jet n bottle, 60c and .
f 1.00, at your nearest dnigtnst.
However, if you wlah firt to tot tliit
Kro.it preparation lend ten centa to Or. I
Kilmer A Co., llinRhamtnn, N. Y., for h I
inmril.. ltntH. Wti.t.. .cflll... tit .. n.i.l I
mention tliia paper. Adv.
Hut u man nover goes around look
in for trouble in tho guise Tjf a crod
itor.
Dr. Pierce's rieaant Pellets arc the
original little liver pilM put up -ID jc.u
ugo. They i emulate In or and bowels. 'Adv.
A Difference.
"I heard thnt your sou hnd liocotno
nn actor."
"(Und to hear It. All 1 know about
It In thnt lie wont on the stngu."
Important to Wlothorn
Exnmlno carefully every bottlo of
CASTOUIA.nHnfonnduuro remedy for
mrnnlu and children, und boo thnt It
Hears tho
Gffi&c&M
Slgnnturo
In Uso For Over 30 Years.
Children Cry for Fletcher's Casloria
Somo Car.
"That's a protty speedy car of yours,
isn't It?"
"You bet your llfo It Is! I've only
had that car hIx months and l'vo paid
out nioro money In Hues than tho enr
cost mo originally."
Not Needed.
"I hear you'ro getting up bazaar
for tho bonollt of tho unemployed. 1
shall bo glad to glvo my timo to help
mako It a succoss."
"Thank you ovorso much, but tho
peoplo whom wo aro trying to help
havo moro timo than thoy know what
to do with."
Professional Pride.
"You'll cither havo to buy n now
car," said tho chauffour, "or ralso my
salary llvo dollars a week."
"I don't qulto got you," answered bin
cmployor. "Is It uny harder work to
drlvo this car than it would bo to
drivo a now ono?"
"No, but It's very humiliating to mo
t- bo seen driving n Inst yenr'B model,
and you'll havo to pay mo for tho in
Jury to my feelings."
Special Delivery.
Young James had been outdoors
playing all tho afternoon.
"What havo you been playing all
tho afternoon, James?" ueked Jumes'
mother.
"Postman," said Jarhoa enthusias
tically. "It was groat, too."
"How do you play postman?" asked
his mother dutifully.
"Ob, I took all those piles ot old
letters you bad dono up with bluo
ribbons In your lowest bureau drawer
and gavo 'em out to peoplo all down
tho street. Thoy thought it was groat,
too."
Experts Who Know
The leading Hotel
uczmtmmnmmFi
This splendid food is made of wheat and barley and contains the entire nutri
ment of these grains, including the priceless mineral elements so necessary for build
ing and maintaining vigor of body and mind, but which are so often lacking in the
usual dietary.
A Suggestion In stuffing your chicken, turkey, duck or goose for the Christinas
dinner, try using one quarter Grape-Nuts and three quarters bread crumbs, instead of
all bread crumbs. You will be delighted with the crisp, nutty flavour imparted by
this wholesome ingredient
Grape-Nuts food comes ready to eat direct from the package; and is nourishing,
easily digestible, economical, delicious.
SUPPER THE PRINCIPAL MEAL
In Former Tlmca Noonday "Dinner"
Wns Only Lunchccn, According
to Ennllih Ideas.
The change In mealtimes Is evi
denced by tho old rhyme:
To rise nt ftvo Mini dine nt nine,
To wip nt live mill lu-d nt nine,
Will mako u man live In tilncty.utiln.
Hut one suspected thnt the chniiRO
Is In tho nnincH of tho moalH rather
thini In tho hours. Our ancestors
would hnvo termed our luncheon din
ner, mid our dinner supper. It Is n
iMirlous fact Hint In some of tho Ox
ford colleges, whero tho founders
mndo iillnwiuicoH for thu nienlH of the
students, n much Inrgur sum Is ul
lotted for supper tlinn for dinner, Im
plying thnt the former wns tho more
HUbstnntlnl meal. Taken nt llvo or six
o'clock, It wiiH really "early dlunur"
Homo imrtlfhlnrH of tho nicnlt lines
of our ancestors may bo found In W'H
Hum llnrrlsou'u "Description of ICtig
land," publ'nhed K.R7.
"With us the nobility, gentry nnd
students do ordinarily go to dinner nt
eleven before noon, und to iin.ipor at
llvo or between llvo and slv nt uf tor
noon. Tho merchuiitn dlun and sup
seldom before twelve at noon, nnd nix
nt night, especially In Loudon The
husbandmen (line ulmi nt high noon
us they call It, and mip nt novou or
eight, but put or the term In our mil
versifies the scliolma illiio nt ten Ah
for tho poorest sort they generally
illno und imp when thoy may. so that
to talk of their order of repast it wero
but n needless mutter." London
Chronicle.
Should Hnvo Been Enourjb.
Mm. Morgnu hud a colored maid
named Sarah. One Sunday afternoon
tho inistrosB saw Surah's lover leav
ing thu houso chid In u suit of whlln
llnnnul. A llttlo Inter, whou tho mnld
appeared, Mrs. Morgnu said:
"Sarah, that beau of youni should
novor wenr whlto. Ho Is so very black
that white clothes make hint appear all
tho blacker. Why don't you glvo lilm
a hint?"
"Why. Mis' Morgan," nald Snrah,
with anlmntlon, "I dono glvo hlin or
lot ob hints, but ho Jen' nnttorly ain't
got no Bonno an' didn't tnko 'om."
"Probably you didn't mako tho hints
strong enough," said tho mistress.
"Well, no'am. dat'B Jen' what I think
mysulf," agreed Snrah, reflectively; "I
don't bollovo I did. 1 Jest lookn at him
right hard an' I snys, 'Ishnm, yo' sho'
do look llki a black suakn crawlln' out
ob cream, you do!' Thot's Jos' nil I
snya to him, Mis' Morgan." I3very
body'n Magazine
Anticipating-
"Havo you heard that Hlglow'B
daughter is going to marry a million
aire?" "Yes. Heard it yesterday. Dtglow
tried to borrow ten dollars from me
on tho strength of It."
Shades of Sherman.
"Thoy say disease In tho British
trenches is torriblol"
"Nothing but tommyrot, old follow."
Williams Purplo Cow.
Foresight Is Including tho alimony
when counting tho cost of getting
married.
Even a dignified man is apt to un
bend when ho is broke.
Stewards and Chefs of the World use and recommend
Grape-Nuts
This product contains the finest ingredients
known to the art of Culinary Science, and we
recommend it to the public with our guarantee
over the seal of our association.
The International Mutual Cook and Pastry
Cooks Association.
THEODORE M U MANNA
Pretldent
E. S. HODGSKIN, M. D.
Food Expert
"There's a Reason"
Sold by Grocers everywhere.
ir
Your
Health
Account
Don't allow it to be "overdrawn"
as a result of
LOSS OF APPETITE
POOR DIGESTION
INACTIVE LIVER
CONSTIPATED DOWELS
HOSTETTER'S
Stomach Bitters
may help correct such conditions
nud improve your general health.
BLACK
LEG
LUSSES SURELY PREVENTED
i Cultrr't Ulifklfo rill. Iih.
rilrod, ftnh. rrlliiila: mMrrl U
rltni KltH-knimi. UaitiA Ihiy
rrolMt whr othff eclnn (all.
1'tllfl for I.Hibltt atnl ii-.tlninnlxls.
lo-arit FMf. niackiu i-nia li.no
tO-doM vU: Uimin 1111 4.09
If.n Mil fiiliwtnr. lull fSltlf-r-a I..L
Th (tipi.tlmltj of I'tillor luwlui-tn in Jun to urtr 19
rPKr rf MliiH-tnlliliiif III vsMln.t mA imiimi anlw.
Imlit on Cullfr'i. If unaMalntMo, onlir dlntl.
Culttr Lnlmtalory. On kilty, Cl r Chit. III.
BARKER'S
HAIR 0AL8AM
A t.ill't if'rtlnn of mrrlt.
llrlitnrrnillrllMtilrulf.
t'nw ll.lntn Cnlnr Alltt
BeiitrlCJnV'rtlr)inUlr.
OD.T. HUH IIIM.l l'mi;iii.i.
COW'S MOO KILLS CHILD
Dnby Frightened Into Convulsion
When Wnndorlnrj Bovine puts
Head in Window.
Investigation by Ur. II. Albert Mo
Murray, coroner of Westmoreland
county, Into tho denth of James Hen
ry Pershing, throo-yenr-old son of Law
rence Pershing of Ornpovlllo rovonled
that tho child wan literally frlghtenod
to death.
Hoveral dayH ago tho boy wnB play
ing when a cow at pasturo In a lot
adjoining tho houso lookud In at an
opon window of the room whoro tho
child was. An tho llttlo one glanced
toward tho window tho cow mooed
loudly.
With n scream the child collapsed
and went Into convulsions. A physi
cian was unnblo to glvo tho boy any
rollof, nnd denth ensued twolvo hours
lntor. Orcensburg (Pu.) Dispatch
Philadelphia Itecord.
Disqualified.
"If you will split some kindling wood
for tho kitchen flro," said the lady ol
tho houso, "I'll bo glud to glvo you
something to oat."
"Sorry, lady," replied tho wayfarer,
"but I ain't boon ablo to koop up me
dues in tho Kindling Splitters' union,
und I'm afraid tho walking delegate
would got after mo If I done any of
that kind of work."
A posslmlBt llkoB a thins no can't
onjoy, nud an optimist enjoys a thing
ho can't liko.
A henpecked husband reminds 01
of a has-been rooster.
FOOD
ADOLPHE MEYER
Secretary
Lv.fcl
n
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