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I
MUST confess that of nil
tho picturesque figures It
ban, boon my happy lot to
meot during tho courno of
my 12yearB of world-wan-
derlns. no"0 'nnds B0
prominently In my recol
lections as MaJ. C.J Hohb,
member of the British
army and companion of
tho Distinguished Scrvlco
order, and now an ubbIsI
ant game warden In Brit
ish East Africa.
I first saw tho major In South' Af
rica, and 1 got to know him, as fow
othor men know him, whllo we wcro
both serving tho British EaBt African
-rSjovornment Thla friendship between
paw-is one, for my own part, which
years can not lesson.
What a history tho man has back
of his forty-odd years! What a namo
he has won for himself on tho field
of battlo and In pollco duties! It
coniB almost ImpoBBlblo to tell all ho
has scon, accomplished and endured.
Perhaps ono day somo ono will ven
turo to record In book form the many
deeds of daring this frail-looking Aus
tralian has to his credit It would bo
a mighty task, but tho result should
bo worthy of tho effort, for I know of
no man who has moro material to
draw upon, vivid truo-to-llfo happen
lugs In a -varied career of excite
ment. ItosB was born In Australia way
back In tho seventies or may bo tho
lxtles. Emigrating to America when
till a boy, ho held first ono post
and then another, until finally ho drift
ed to Canada and enlisted In the
world famous Canadian mounted po
llco. Sometimes, If you enn got him Into
b talkative mood, ho will tell you of
riding many miles to capturo dangor
oub crlmliialB single-handed. Ross tells
with n Bmlle that ho wbb never known
to fall on ono of these hazardous un
dertakings. If you look nt IiIb face,
you can understand why this Is bo.
It is not easy to get hi in to talk', but
fortunately tila record Ib bo well
known that It Is not a dlfllcult matter
to gather material on his life.
1 remember ono day when wo went
In camp together In EaBt Africa
keeping law and ordor In a now dia
mond field rush, which turned out a
flizle Rosa began to talk after din
ner of somo of his adventures with
the gun-men and Illicit liquor mun In
the northwest of Canada.
Ho told ub of ono day capturing a
band of four bandits, who wero noto
rious for tho number of men they
had killed. Ross was sent out with
trooper to capturo them nllvo it pos
sible. Yo gods! think of It! Two
men to capturo tho four worst men
In Canada! Tho two men rodo across
tho plains for soveral days until
they Anally camo upon tho camp of
the bandits.
"We got 'em," ended Ross. Be
lng pressed for further particulars, ho
reluctantly told ub a fow dotalls of
tho capturo.
"Our nrrlval was a surprise," ho
continued. "I walked into their camp
accompanied by my trooper. Neither
of us had drawn a gun. Bandits or
no bandits, they all know they can't
fool tho N. W. M. Pollco. Ono darn
cd fool drew a gun, but I'm mighty
quick with my pea-shooter and winged
him. The others submitted, and we
brought 'em back to tho chief. It
wbb suro somo soft snap, that The
poor fellow I had shot was burled
where he fell by his comrades. They
didn't like doing It, but a six-shooter
covering you makes a man dc what
he's ordered. Leastwise, It always
has in my experiences."
It Is only by looking Into his eyes
and catching tho lines of his mouth,
hidden partially by 2a 2hcavy mus
tacbo, that ono can read that bohlnd
this hardened exterior lurks a heart
full of kindness for n comrade In dis
tress. Strange to relate ho Ib n pow
or with womon. All women like him,
and ho himself loves the society of
tho gentler box. In tho Bummer of
1910 Robs waa-happlly married In ben
don and has taken his wlfo back to
East Africa with him. Many a fair
lady's heart will be jealous of tho
.woman who has becomo Mrs. Ross.
Ono day, when riding togothor
across the Athl Plains, Robs told mo
that he had spent some years In
Utah. 1 asked him If ho was a
Mormon.
"Suro thing, young feller. I'm n blah
op in the church," ho laughed, and the
merry twinkle In his eyo warned mo
that a Uttlo coaxing might bring out
a good story. And presently ho
told mo about hla stay In Salt Lako
City.
"I gotten run out of there. I mis
romombor what for. Tho Mormon re
ligion is suro somo fine thing, All
your wives savo up all tho yellcr-leg-ged
chickens to try nnd coax you to
favor them. I don't bellovo in no suf
fragette; Mormon ladles for mlno.
Bay, I guesB.you better Join that out
fit. All you gotta do is to stand up
ono day in the Tahernaclo and an
nounce that you'vo hnd a rovelatlon
for SlBter Jane, nnd she becomes a
number flvo or whatever number" Ib
next vacant In your catalogue I suro
had somo mighty fine revelations In
Salt Lako city. Bay, young feller,
I'll appoint you a deacon In
church."
But somehow I felt I was being
"Joshed," for tho twinkle In Robs' eyes
helled his wrds. But ever utter ho
called mo "Deacon." I often wonder
whether ho told his bride about his
Mormon proclivities. I rather fancy
ho would, for ho was not a man to
hide a Joko, nor to hldo a truth.
Aftor leaving tho northwest mount
ed pollco, Rosh came back to tho
States and enlisted, after naturaliz
ing, for some Indlnn campaign. Ho
also fought through tho Red River
war. His career was varied to a
marked degrco until tho South Afri
can war broke out.
Robs Joined tho Canadian mounted
rifles and went out to South Africa
with them as u trooper. Ho saw con
siderable servlco with them, but event
ually got Into troublo through an ex
ccslvo fondness for looting. Ho was
dropped from tho force and Im
mediately went to Pretoria and joined
another Irregular corps as a lieuten
ant. His wonderful scouting and dar
ing carnrd for him tho notice of
Lord Kitchener. As a result of an
Interview with the great British gen
eral, Ross was empowered to raise an
irregular corps of cavalry. Ho call
ed tho Canadian Mounted Scouts. So
was born a Uttlo corps which wroto
Its namo big in tho annalB of the
grcatcBt war of modern times.
Ross gathered together a number
of kindred spirits and soon hnd a reg
iment of scouts which would be hard
to equal, let ulono beat. They wero all
men who had traveled tho world In
search of ndventure, men who faced
death dally with unflinching oyes, and
who knew no hardship too dlfllcult to
enduro or overcome With such ma
terial Is It to bo wondered at that tho
Canadian Mounted Scouts wero soon
heard of?
They fought In every pnrt of tho
Transvaal, Orange River Colony, and
Capo Colony. Tho Boers trembled nt
the mcro mention of tho namo of
Ross. It would tako a book to wrlto
tho history of their deeds of marvel
ous daring. They used no kid gloves
in tholr warfare, cither.
Perhaps tho most famous episode In
tholr adventurous exploits was tho
shooting of 15 Boer prisoners, whom
thoy had captured when wearing the
British uniform. This act wns against
all usages of modern warfare and In
defiance or tho nets of Tho Haguo and
Geneva; tho BoerB wero llablo for
tholr breach of law to bo tried by
drumhead court-martial, with death as
tho ponalty If found guilty.
Ross Is a man of quick action. Ho
had caught tho men In tho net of
crime und wearing tho uniforms. That
was enough. He dispensed with tho
drumhead court-martial and sentenced
them to death by shooting. Ho se
lected three of his most trusted fol
lowers to nsslst him In tho execution
of tho Boers. Then ho sent In tho
remainder of his regiment, warning
them to tnkc no notlco of any shooting
thoy might hear In tho course of tho
next fow minutes. Ho wnlted until
they wero out of sight nnd then turned
to tho cowering Boors.
I wish that I could reproduce the
story of tho subsequent events with
tho vivid detail und quaint phraseol
ogy used by Ross when telling mo tho
story. He speaks with a drawl and
pronounced American nccent.
"Sny, you gol-durned dogs," Ross
said to them, "I'vo caught you with
the goods on you, nnd you got to ante
up. I'll give you just five minutes to
make your peace with your Creator,
and then I'll pass you out. I guoss
tho good God won't listen to such ver
min bb you, but I'm gamo to let you
try your hnnd at It. Step lively now
with them petitions to your good
Maker!"
With n revolver In each hand nnd
his threo men covering the 1G prison
ers with their guns, Ross counted out
the minutes. Tho BoerB had not yet
realized that he wus In oarncst nnd
stood watching him anxtously.
"Ono moro minute and out you get!"
Ross Bnappcd at them ns ho finished
counting off four minutes. Ho stoo
ped toward tho first man and held his
revolver nt tho man's hend. Tho
Boer cowered Imck nnd began to beg
for mercy
"Cut out that woman buBinoss!"
commanded Rosb. "1 guess the good
God won't listen to you, and, If ho
won't you can't expect mo to. Time
upl Hero's whoro you go to seo your
God, if ho'U sec you, which ( doubts."
Bang! went tho revolver, nnd tho
man sank dead nt tho mnjor's feet.
Ono nfter tho other ho sent them on
their way Into tho "Grent Unknown."
Tho worn completed, Hobs nnd lils
men mounted tholr horBos nnd rodo at
a gallop aftor their regiment.
Tho story leaked out, and Ross was
cent for by Lord Kitchener nt
Pretoria. No record of this meeting
Is obtainable, and Ross will not Bpoak
if It. At least his oltenso did not
Interfere, lator on, with Robs' bo
lng appointed a companion of tho DIs
'tlngulshod Servlco ordor, which ranks
next to the Victoria Cross.
Anothor story told about Major
Ross, which I happen to know to be
truo In every dotnll, U that when rid
ing Into Pretoria ono morning from
au expedition after a Boer commando,
(rvtttMT t raoav da
the I his Uttlo column wns mistaken for a
pnrty of Boers by a British garrison
artillery battery of 4.7 guns In ono of
tho hills guarding tho capital. The
shells fell wide nnd this fact irritated
Robs. Ho left tho column In charge of
his second In command nnd rodo at a
gallop townrd tho hill from which tho
battery was firing. Oblivious to shot
and shell, Ross rode right to tho sum
mit of tho hill, luckily arriving un
scathed. "Who's tho gol-durned fool In com
mand of this outfit?" ho shouted to the
astonished gunners.
A young artillery lieutenant enmo
forward and saluted tho major. The
senior eyed the younger man
sternly,
''That tho best practice you and
your fools can make?" he Inquired
with dcop disgust. "I'll report you
for bad shooting when I get Into Pre
toria. Maybe the general will let you
hear from him. I guess you had bet
ter go back to school, young man,
for your education has been sadly
neglected."
Robs wheeled his horso and clat
tered down tho hill ugain to rejoin his
command. For many a long day the
lloutenaut will suffer from the gibes
of his brother officers, and the men of
tho battery will probably uovor re
cover their self-respect.
Rosb camo out of the Boer war with
a remarkable record behind him and
with tho undying admiration and
friendship of Lord Kitchener and oth
er generals. His is a namo to con
jure with. Tho Boers feared him to
n marked degrco, bo much so .that
when largo parties of them camo up
to East Africa to scttlo after tho
war and learned that Boss was nn
official, they told tho governor that
they were afraid to settle in tho sumo
country with Roes. But thoy have
learned that the major In war and tho
mnjor In peuco uro two entirely differ
ent people. The East African Boers
have long lost all fear of him and
uow look upon him as their friend
und brother.
I think 1 nm correct In saying that
Major Robs Ib the only naturalized
American who Is a retired major of
tho British army, a companion of the
coveted Distinguished Servlco order,
and an acting official of the British
Colonial government servlco. This
alone proves In what high esteem he
is held by tho British government.
After the Boer war was over, Robs
fought for a tlmo in the Somallland
war of 1902-1904 as an officer with
tho Boer contingent of mounted In
fantry. Then he came up to East Af
rica and went on a trading nnd elephant-hunting
trip Into German East
Afrlcn. His life there Is somewhat
shrouded In mystery. AU I havo ever
been able to ascertain about It Is
that he shot a large number of ele
phants, secured a grant of land, and
set up a tradlug store at ono of the
German stations, Bakoga, I beliove, on
tho Victoria lake.
However, ho managed to fall afoul
of the German authorities, and bo was
expelled from tho territory and his
land confiscated. By all ac
counts, ho was very harshly and unde
servedly used. When his royal high
ness tho duke of Connaught wns vIb
Ring East Africa In 190G, Major Robs
camo to meet him at Klsutnu on the
Victoria lnko by the duke's special
request. Thoy had a long talk and
tho duko promised to tnke up his
caso against tho German colony on
his return to London.
Shortly afterward, as a result of
this meeting, Major Ross was appoint
ed assistant game warden of tho East
African Protectorate. No more fit
ting work could have boon found for
him, and ho has earned a great name
for his rigid enforcement of the gamo
protection laws. Woe betldo tho man
who Is bold enough to break tho gamo
regulations, for he will havo to an
swer to Major Ross and tho courts
of justlco as Buro as his nnmo is
what It Is.
Day after day Rosb rides the plains
and gamo reserves in search of law
breakers. He thinks nothing of cover
ing GO iuIIcb a day. He carries his
food and blankets on his saddle, and
sloops under a tree, In a native hut,
or, If lucky, at a farmhouse. Ho cares
nothing for tho dnnger of attack from
prowling beasts of the Junglo or tur
bulent natives, or from tho hardships
of exposure. He spoils duty with n
very big capital D.
On ono occasion, the Btory goes thnt
ho rodo by moonlight from Fort Hall
in tho Konkn district to Nairobi a
distance of Cl miles! When nbout
half way, ho was held up on tho plains
by threo lions. Ross says that ho had
much difficulty In keeping his pony's
head on to tho lions, but eventually
the lions tired of stalking him nnd
turned their attentions to eoiuo zebra
which Ross could hear near by. it
wasn't n very pleasant exporlenco, but
Ross laughs at It. Ho calls tho threo
lions In question, "Gol-darnod peaky
curious critters."
At his house In Nairobi ho kept for
a long tlmo n tamo Hon, much to tho
terror of Itinerant natives. Ho snys
thut It was tho best "watch dog" he
over owned, and claims that whon nil
tho othor bungalows In his vicinity
wero favored by burglars, his house
escaped attention. Which Is not at
nil surprising under tho circum
stances. I think that fow men havo hnd moro
Interesting nnd exciting experiences
with big game than Major Ross, yet
ho will not talk about them, for ho
la n very modest man, totally unaware
of his own sterling qualities. His
work carries him continually among
tho denizens of forest und plain, and
few men know tho habits and traits
of tho wild game in "Nature's Zoo"
better than Ross.
I feel rather llko telling tales out of
school by narrating tho following lit
tle story of Ross. 11 Is so typical of
tho great, big, boyish heart of tho
man, that I can nut refrain from tell
lug It.
It so happened that Ross foregath
ered with three other Americans In
Nairobi to celebrate Independence
day. They had a very lively dinner,
nnd nftorwnrd proceeded to looso off
Btcain by firing off a number of crack
ers and rockets. Tiring of this tame
pastime, thoy started In to turn Nai
robi Into a "Wild West" town by
shooting out tho street lamps from the
veranda of the hotel. This sport soon
palled, and thoy went for a walk down
town with the object of seeking now
fields of enjoyment. They happened
to pass tho bank and saw the win
dow open, und a Parsee clerk working
at a ledger under a light.
Tho temptation was too strong for
Ross and his three American compan
ions. They lit some crackers and
throw them Into the bank building
through tho open window. The clerk
mistook them for bombs and rushed
out, shouting "Murder!" The negro
constable on tho beat below blew his
whistlo for help, and the barracks be
ing close at hand, soon had somo 20
dusky policemen respond to tho
"alarm" call. In the general mix-up,
and to avoid arrest for their. prank,
Robs and his companions roughly han
dled tho policemen und put them to
(light.
I happened to bo In command of tho
pollco at Nairobi, and soon cume upon
tuo sceuo In answer to a telephone
call. I arrested tho four practical Jok
ers for "disturbing tho peace" and
"resisting a police officer in the exe
cution of his duty." They were all
released on bail, and subsequently
stood their trial before tho sessions
Judgo and u white Jury.
Tho Jury, In tho face of tho weight
of evidence, brought In a verdict of
not guilty, und all wero acquitted.
Ross made an nmple upology to all
concerned for his Bharo In the es
capade, nnd laughingly told mo that
ho thought It pretty hard that a good
American could not enjoy his national
hollduy without being arrested.
Whon Colonel Roosevelt visited
EaBt Africa ljo met Major Ross, nnd
the two men found much In common.
At tho banquet given In Nairobi to tho
ex-prcsldent, Major Robs was selected
to present n rhinoceros-foot box to
the distinguished visitor as a token of
regard from tho Americans In tho
colony. In a short speech at tho pre
sentation, Major Ross, to every ono'a
keen delight and particularly that of
Colonel Roosevelt, repeatedly referred
to tho famous hunter as "Colonel
RoBenfelt." In his reply tho colonel
referred to tho many years Major
Ross had spent In America and par
ticularly in tho west, saying that thoy
were both "protty good Rocky moun
tain men."
It is somewhat surprising to think
how this man of many weird experi
ences and continuous adventure has
settled down to his official llfo In
East Africa. See him In his spotlesB
white duck government uniform with
hiB breast gllttorlng with, his four or
dors and medals, nnd you will hard
ly credit that this Is the man whoso
reckless daring and quick-handed met
lng out of justice In tho Boer war sot
nil the British army talking.
See htm as I have seen him, clad
In evening dress nt a government
house function, smoking a short pipe,
and you mny laugh for a moment be
cause he looks like a duck out of wa
ter. But you will not laugh long, for
you will quickly recognize that here
is a MAN.. It Is becauso ha. Is pre
eminently a mun that ho Is a leader
among men,
The spirit of the rover of tho plains
and the seeker after udventure Is
strong within him, and It is plain tc
the naked eye. Ho is no social mimic
of civilized customs. He is not pol
ished, his hands are not manicured,
his faco is not massaged, his clothes
are anything but fashionable, but he
cares not, and after a few minutes'
conversation with him you do not
caro cither.
Again, seo him playing with chil
dren, as I havo seen him, laughing
and happy, and you will begin to un
derstand that though a mun may bo
uulck.to snuff out a llfo when it Is
necessary, this doos not imply that ho
Is heartless or cruel. No man who can
look at Rosb when ho Ib playing with
his Uttlo children friends, can bo
cruel or heartless,
But Robs will toll you that It Is
sometimes imperative to carry a gun,
and If you do so It Is essential that
you can shoot straight nnd bo qulckor
on tho trigger than tho other man. As
ho onco naively told mo, "Shoot
quick and straight. Tho last man In
gets tlio full servlco nnd won't waut
no other."
Ono day tho restless spirit within
his gaunt, tall, weather-beaten frnmo
will bid him pack up ins traps and go
forth again to fresh adventuros. Tho
llfo Is too alluring to ho left alono for
long. Whon that spirit moves Ross
again, things will happen. Things
have a way of happening when ho
Is uround.
But for tho moment ho has settled
down to a home life with a wifo, and
mnybo with a son to rear up to fol
low In his footstops, But I do not
think that ho will stay content for
long In civilization.
5TORI
CAMP
AND
JVM Ac-s&J-2
WHILE MARCHING TO THE SE
Southern Planter Tells General 8her
man Had Never Heard of Wis
consin or Minnesota.
Thero wns nt tho time of tho Civil
war n lack of Information In the
south relatlvo to tho strength and re
sources of tho north. Georgo Haven
Putnnm In hla new book, "Abraham
Lincoln," tells of a conversation Gen
eral Sherman had with a courtly old
planter nt whoso fine mansion tho gen.
cral and some of his staff had Btopped
ono noon on the march to the sea. The
old planter talked with Sherman about
the causes of tho war, and finally,
pointing to some of the pnsslng union
troops, asked what stato they came
from. Shorman leaned over tho porch
and told the men to throw out their
flag. They did so, and Sherman, turn
ing to his venerablo host, remarked:
"They nro tho Thirtieth Wisconsin."
"Wisconsin?" said tho planter. "Wis
consin? Vhcre is Wisconsin?"
"It Is ono of the states of the north
west," said Sherman.
"When I wns studying geography,"
said the planter, "I knew of Wiscon
sin simply as the name of a trlbo oi
Indians. How many men are thero in
that regiment?"
"Well, thero were a thousand when
they started," said Sherman.
"Do you mean," asked tho planter,
"that there is a state called Wiscon
sin that has sent 30,000 men Into your
armies?"
"Oh, probably 40,000," answered
Shorman.
With the next body of troops the
questions and answers were repnted
.The flag was that of tho Thirty-second
Minnesota. Tho old planter had never
heard that there was such a state.
"My God!" ho exclaimed when he had
figured out tho thousands of men who
had como to the front from those sc
called Indian territories to maintain
tho existence of the nation, "If wo In
tho south had known that you had
jturncd those Indlnn territories Into
great states we never would havo gone
Into this war."
"Tho incident," remnrka tho author,
"throws a light upon the state of mind
pt men, even of well educated men In
ithe south, at tho outbreak of tho war.
'. . . It was their feeling that lu
Itho coming contest they would havo
to deal only with New England and
the middle states."
CATARRH
OF THE
STOMACH
Could Hardly Eat. Gradually
Qraw Worst. Raliivid
by Parana
Mr. A. M.
Ikcrd, Box 3L
West Dup
lington, Iowa,
writes:
"I had ca
tarrh of tho
Btomach nnd
small Intes
tines for a
number of
years. I went
to a number
of doctors and
got no relief,
and finally
ono of my
doctors sent
me to C h 1
cago, and I
met the same
fate. Thoy
Bald they
could do noth
ing for me;
said I had
cancer of the
Btomach and thero was no cure. I al
most thought the same, for my breath
was offensive and I could not eat any
thing without great misery, and I grad
ually grow worse.
"Finally I concluded to try Peruna,
and I found relief and a cure for that
dreadful disease, catarrh. I took five
bottles of Peruna and two of Manalln,
and I now feel llko a new man. There
is nothing better than Peruna, and I
keep a bottle of it in my house all the
time."
Everything comes to him who waits.
He'll even get tho earth whon he dies.
HHHHHHHHaf,HHHHBBHHV'(
Wx -rppppm
Mr. A. M. IkertV
Many n man has married in haste
nnd paid alimony at leisure.
There nr imitation, don't he fooled. Auk
for LEWIS' SinRlo Binder cigar, 0c. Adv.
Treat people kindly nnd you will
find them easier to work.
WHICH WAS THE PRISONER
Constipation causes and aggravates manj
rcrlous (iUeases. It Is thoroughly cured by
Dr. I'lerco's Pleasant Toilets. The favorite
family laxative. Adv.
Aftor an orator has reached tho top
ho will not express his opinions unless
somo ono Is willing to pay the express
charges. ,
'Queer Experience of Federal and Con
federate Soldiers While Endeavor,
lng to Make Escapes.
In the second bnttlo for the posses
sion of the Weldon railroad, which
jwas fought on August 19, 1SG4, a cer
tain Massachusetts regiment suddenly
(found the woods In Its rear filled with
Confederate troops. Tho wildest con
tusion ensued. Every man looked out
for himself. Among them was a cor
,taln sergeant who started to tho tear
toward his batteries, the situation of
which ho determined from the lino of
Uro.
' Ho had gone but a short distance
;whon ho mot n Confederato soldier
eeeklng safety In the opposite direc
tion. Both, of course, wore armed.
"Halt!" commanded tho sergeant
Tho Confederato came to a full
itop, but promptly called upan the
Yankee to surrender.
"Not I!" returned tho sergeant.
"It's no uso to stand out," said the
other. "Our troops will soon be
.along In force, and you'll be taken any
way." Not being anxious to live oa
.short rations at a southern prison,
Jthe sergeant still refused to surren
ider. "I tell you what," he said, at last
("we'll settle it this way. Wo'll both
put our guns on the ground and lie
down beside thom. If the Confeder
ates come first, I'll surrender to you.
T3ut If tho Union troops come along
first, you surrender to me."
"AU right," said tho other.
Both throw their guna down nnd
dropped beside them. Tho Union bat
terles wore still playing on tho woods,
and tho air was filled with bursting
shells. Tho two men -hugged the
ground as close ns thoy could. At
past, aftor the firing began to flag a
.little, a squad of Federal soldiers
came along.
"You've cot -me, Yank!" tho Con-
'federate admitted. .And together the
sergeant nnd his prisoner ruBhod to
tho roar, nwny from the thunder of the
Union guns. Youth's Companion.
On the Picket Line.
A Scotchman was accosted by a
picket.
"Who are you?" challenged tho sol
dlor. "I'm fine," answered Sandy. "Hoo's
yersel'?"
Not Enough Mutuality.
"Did you'nlls seo dat hoss do Colo
nel dun tol' yo' to git fur him?" nBkod
ono regimental cook of nnothor.
"Yes, 1 seed him, but dnr waB no
mutuality."
"What does yo'-nll mean, nlggnh?"
"Dar wbb no mutuality. I seed
.ornuff ob do hoss, but do hoss didn't
boo ernuff ob mo. Ho was bllu' In
one eye."
Nothing Doing.
"Are you going abroad?"
Wo; my moans are too narrow."
True Love.
"And would you die for mo?"
"Certainly not I would rather live
foiovcr than to give you such a cause
for grlof."
Good Idea.
As to the low taxes, let's lower the
indirect taxes for example, that tax
of 40 million dollars a year that tu
berculosis levlos in Missouri. St
Louis Dispatch.
Under Pressure.
The two friends wero exchanging
confidences.
"Whatever Induced you to accept
Toudy Johnson, Mabel?" asked Anne
"Oh why well," said Mabol, "you
see, 'Toady -put his his arm around
my waist, and, to tell tho truth, 1
yielded undor pressure." Harper's
Weekly.
Puzzle.
Now Nurse I couldn't answer the
doctor this morning when ho asked if
the young woman patient who arrived
a short time ago was light-headed.
Other Ditto Why couldn't you an
swer him?
New Nurse Because I didn't know
whether he wanted to know if she
were delirious or if she were a
blondo.
FRIENDS HELP.
8t Paul Park Incident.
"After drinking coffee for breakfast
I always felt languid and dull, having
no ambition to get to my morning
duties. Then in about an hour or bo
a weak, nervous derangement of the
heart and stomach would come over
mo with such force I would frequently
have to Ho down."
Tea is just as harmful, because It
contains caffeine, tho samo drug found
in coffee.
"At other times I had severe head
aches; stomach finally became affect
cd and digestion so impaired that I
had serious chronic dyspepsia and
constipation. A lady, for many years
Stato President of tho W. C. T. U.,
told mo sho hnd been greatly ben
efited by quitting coffeo and using
Postum; sho wns troubled for years
with asthma. Sho said It was no
cross to quit coffeo when sho found
Bho could havo as delicious an
artlclo as Postum.
"Another lady who hnd been trou
bled with chronic dyspopBia for years,
found Immediate relief on ceasing cof
feo and UBlng Postum. Still anothor
frlond told mo that Postum was a
Godsend, her heart troublo having
been relloved after leaving off coffeo
and taking on Postum.
"So many such cases came to my
notice that I concluded coffeo was the
causo of my troublo and I quit and
took up Postum. I nm moro than
pleased to say that my dayB of trou
blo havo disappeared. I am well and
happy."
Look In pkgs. for the famous little
book, "Tho Road to Wellvlllo."
Eer read the above letter? A new
one nppenra from time to time. They
are genuine, true, full of human
latere!.
A
v Hf.
A
- w .
t fr, .
