,tp "ff"
wYW""
Astonished Husband.
De Wolfo I Ioitor tells a kooiI story
nbout tho doincHtlc iinhnptilnoHs of nu.
other nctor. Tho hero of the Joko was
a mnn who hnd ninrrlcil because tho
woman had much money, nlthough no
beauty. Naturally, after the wedding
ceremony and tho acquisition of tho
bride's llnnnclal resources, tho hus
bnnd was never very attentive to her.
Another member of the company In i
'whlrh the couple were appearing was,
'however, far more nppreclntlvo of tho i
lady's charms, and proceeded to mnko
love to her In an ardent but stealthy
manner. The Krnnd llnnle came ono
cvcnlni; when tho nctor discovered
tho other man kissing Ills wife, Tho
fond lover stood petrllled with fear,
and expected to bo shot down tho
next moment.
No such thing happened. Tho out
raged husband only lifted his hands
toward tho celling with a gesture of
Intense surprise, and exclaimed:
"Merciful heavens! And he didn't
even have to!"
Those Paroled Ones.
No. 07,810 (Just paroled) "y, Tur
tle 'ow are you? Wot's doln' In d'
bit?"
His Old I'nl Hullo, Chlckenl
Bhake. Wot's new In d' biz? Nottln'
much Here's n feller Invented a
vault door dat's llvo year ahead of d
times!
No. 67.SI0 Oee, dat's bad!
Tho Pal An' Skinny Moss has in
vented a jimmy dal'H llvo years ahead
of d' new door!
A Quarter Century
Before the public. Over Five Million Tree
Fain)los civoii nwny cncli yenr. The con
stant anil incrrnsing billed from F.nnplcs
proves tho genuine met it of Allen's Fnot
Juine, the nntisoptic powder to be pti.'iken
Into tho uliocs for Tired, Aching, Swollen
Tender feet. Sample free. Addrets, Allen
B. Olmsted, Le Koy, IS. Y.
Final Recourse.
"Do you wnnt to get a hearing In
this court?" shouted the magistrate.
"Sure, sir," replied tho very deaf
defendant.
"Then," yelled tho magistrate, with
a last mighty effort, "you will have to
go to a specialist."
Some peoplo lovo to tell the truth
when they think it will hurt.
Dad luck is often but another nnme
for poor mnnngement.
FOR ALL
SPRING
AILMENTS
It is impossible to find a
better or more reliable
remedy than the famous
HOSTETTER'S
STOMACH BITTERS
We guarantee it absolute
ly pure and you will find
it a great benefit in cases
of
INDIGESTION, COSTIVENESS,
BILIOUSNESS,
COLDS, GRIPPE, MALARIA.
TUT A BOTTLE TODAY. IT DOES THE WORK.
PILES
CURED AT HOME
NO KNIFE OR PAIN
FREE TRIAL PROVES Instant relief. If yon
have piles wrlto me iitul I'll iovo thnt you enn
bo cured hvnil mi money don't delay if you
want Free Trial Treatment. Address
Dr.H.J.Whittier.220E.11thSt., Kansas City.Mo.
ALCOHOL-3 PER CENT
AYeCcfable Preparation for As
similnting llie Food ami Hegula
ting ihc Stomachs and Bowels of
A
M
ti
tmmmmtmwmm
e
Promotes Diges ti on,Chce r ful
ncssandRcst.Contains neither
Opium.Morphinc nor Mineral
Not Narcotic
Rtvpt cfOMDrSAMVUfmlEt
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IKunpkiH Sttd'
MxSmna
,'xk,ll, Soils -tilt
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tltpptrmint
Jfi CvivtatiStHn
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tiinkynm fttnrtr
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Apcrfecl Remedy forConslipa
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Fjc Simile Signature of
The Centauh Company,
1MB
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NEW YORK.
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Exact Copy of Wrapper
S&y-tgss ir.-is&, " w,7f i nail ah.
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h L:Hst:sMssiw''"wFsiMMr"
JEW SCORED ON ARISTOCRAT I
Ill-Bred Remark Brought Discomfiture
on Duke of Westminster and
His Companion.
A friend of initio who Is In Cairo
Just now told mo a good story In n
recent letter of an old Jew of that
city who scored off the young duko of
Westminster mid his Inseparable com
panion, Lord KIcksavnge, when they
were there a few weeks ngo. They
were buying some jewelry In the bazar
there, and the duke remarked audibly
to his friend:
"Tho fool doesn't speak Kngllsh of
course." Hut the fool understood well
enough.
"Do you splk Italian?" ho nsked
them, to which they replied in the neg
ative. "Do you splk Orlk?"
"No."
"Do you splk Turk?"
"No."
"Do you splk Husslnn?"
"No."
".Me one time fool," said tho old
tuan after a short but eloquent pause;
"you five times fool!" And tho duko
mid his friend retired dlscotullted.
Kxchange.
PHYSICIAN SAID ECZEMA
CAME FROM TEETHING
"When my Uttlo girl wns nbout eight
months old, eho was taken with a very
Irritating breaking out, which camo on
her face, neck and back. When Bho
llrst camo down with It, It camo In
llttlo watery-llko festers under her
eyes, and on her chin, then after a few
dayB It v.'ould dry down in scaly, whlto
ficnbs. Iu tho daytlmo sho was qulto
worrysomo and would dig and scratch
her faco nearly ull tho time.
"I consulted our physician and
found sho was suffering from eczema,
which ho said camo from her tcethltiR.
I used tho ointment ho gavo mo and
without nny relief at all. Then I
wroto for n book on Cutlcura, and pur
chased some Cutlcura Soap and Oint
ment at tho drug store. I did ns I
found directions In tho Cutlcura nook
let, and when sho was ono year old,
Kho was entirely cured. Now sho Is
thrco years and four months, and sho
has never been troubled with eczema
Blnco sho was cured by tho Cutl
cura Soap nnd Cutlcura Ointment.
(Signed) Mr3. Freeman Cravcr, 311
Lewis St., Syracuse, N. Y May 6,
1911. Although Cutlcura Soap nnd
Ointment aro sold everywhere, a sam
plo of each, with 32-pago book, will
bo mailed freo on application to "Cutl
cura," Dcpt. L, Iloston.
Up to the Minute.
"Well, sho has succeeded in doing
tho latest thing, anyhow."
"What's that?"
"Eloped with her father's aviator."
Dr. Tierce's Flcaeant Pellets first put
up 40 years aco. fhuy refiiiluto nnd invig
orate stomach, liver and bowels. Sugar
coated tiny granules.
In every action, reflect upon tho
end, nnd In your undertaking It con
sider why you do It. Jeremy Taylor.
rir.r.q ci'kki in oto i pays
Tonrilriik'tait will reluml luutiey If lAKU HINT.
MUNI' fmN i eiim mi) raw nf ltotimir, llllmt,
illui Jmu ur I'rutruUlut: 1'Uea In 0 to U dus. Ulc
Usually a man Is a poor Judge ot
bis own importance.
A lon llfu urn! n incny turn mar bo vx
peeled by tlioo who uso tiarlk-ld Tea, tin
natural herb regulator. For Milu at all druj
tores.
I3ut it takes a woman to keep
Becret bho doesn't know.
Smokers find LEWIS' Sinulo Hinder G
cigar better quality than moat 10c cigar
Mnny a mnn can't nfford to drcs
well because his wlfo does.
CASTORIA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
of
In
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
CASTORIA
TMl OINTtU CDH.1NY, MIW VO OITY.
Av
U Jlf
1KH!DNAT10NAL
SUNMSCIIOOL
Lesson
(lly T O MI'.I.I.nilH, Director of I'.voii
llu: Orrmrimrnt, The Muntly llllilu In
stitute of CliU'iiKiit
LESSON FOR MARCH 24.
FEASTING AND FASTING.
I.l'.SSO.V TKXT-M.irU MS-I.'
(U)l,)i:.S Ti:.T "I fame not to ouM
till' llKlili'otl, lint hlllllerM." Mink 2.17.
l'vl Mntthow, ho calls hiniHi'lf by
tho oppinhrlmiH tide of "the pulillcnn,"
reprt'hrnlH (lint cliiss of grafting pa
triots who through all ages haw ex
I'lnpllllcd the seven canllual points of
u polltk'iaii, viz., "the two haveu and
live llshi'8." Men who will weep over
Heiitlini'iital patriotism and serve tho
oppressor for piulll. Hotter still, how
iir, Matthew Is a type of conversion
in thai ho left all and followed .Ti'sus.
So weeping, but rather great rejoicing
for ho made a feast; tu record of
nreat conviction, though he had
enough to act at once upon .Jesus'
Invitation. It was a brier, sudden
call, but what vnsl results were In
volved. First a demonstration upon
his part, secondly n demonstration
upon the part of .lesus, and lastly a
record of the life or the Master that
has been termed tho most Important
book over written. Chronologically
this lesson follows that of last Hunday.
In Luke's account we are told of the
feast Matthew prepared that he might
entertain Jesus. Home believe that
Jesus began his work by trying to win
the Jews through teaching In their
synagogues mid that, receiving h!m
or not, he turns to those outsldo of
the circle of the scribes and the Phari
sees. He that as It may, we know
they murmured greatly that this rabbi
should consort with publicans and
with sinners.
Came to Call Sinners.
Jesus hears of their complaint and
his leply is a lino bit of irony and
tarcasm. "They that are whole havo
no need of a physical! but they that
aro sick. You self righteous l'hurl
secs, why do you complain If you aro
nil right and theBo be all wrong, why
then not let me minister to those that
need mo?" At the same time Jesus
utters one of his greatest and most
comforting sayings, "I came not to call
tho righteous but sinners."
Jesus chooses one of their own bo
cial outcasts to write tho only dis
tinctly Hebrew account of his life; ono
who had been faithful as a business
man to bo a leader and historian;
one willing to renounce all, sny fare
well to ambition und follow him.
Following this, the disciples of John
tho Ilaptlst and of the Pharisees aro
fasting and they observo that tho dis
ciples of Jesus aro not so engaged.
They came to Jesus with the question
nnd his reply Is a perfectly logical
one. "Why should they fast, am I not
with them'.'" "Do you fast at your
weddings while the bridegroom Is pres
ent?" The day Is to come, however,
when he is to be taken away, then
there shall bo times for fasting.
Jesus has feasted with "many pub
llcaiislicans;" when the bridegroom
returns ho will sit down with many
publicans nnd sinners In glory whom
ho has associated with In order that
he might mvo them. Aro we follow
ing his example? If so, let us bo suro
we do It from tho same motive. Tho
disciples of John did (ho right thing
to bring their perplexities to Jesus.
He answer) their question as wo havo
seen and wo are now in the day ho
mentions when there Is a plnco for
fasting. Jesus tenches us in IiIb ref
erence to tho wine bottles (leather
packs which could bear but ono
stretching process duo to fermenta
tion of tho wine), that wo are to bo
new creatures in him and must leavo
tho old life and habits. We aro not
to mnko patchwork of this new Gos
pel nnd the old law.
His Work That of Physician.
There aro two dllllcultlca thuB pro
rented In this lesson; first, that Jo
bus should hold fellowship with thoso
properly not of his circle or social
standing for ho wbb a rabbi or teach
er, and, secondly, that ho did not nor
did his disciples observo fasting. Jo
siiB admits tho character of the com
pany ho kept, but his reply wns, "I
camo for this purpose to call not tho
righteous but tho unrighteous." His
work was to bo that of n Physician.
He assumes that his authority is not
of man but of God, nnd that this min
istry Is to bring joy. Jesus had emp
tied himself that ho might coino and
when lie wiib t leavo thore it would
bo tlmo enough for his disciples to
fast. JcsuB wns not morely ono who
camo to tench a system of ethics a
llttlo higher than tho prophets. Je
sus is more than a good mnn or even
a holy man; he Is tho Great Physician,
able to heal both body and soul, a
Saviour.
neforo theso lost ones can bo saved,
however, they must realize they aro
lost, for wo cannot save thoso who
will not acknowledge themselveB as
being lost. When wo acknowledge wo
nre sinners ho will savo us (I Tim.
1:15). Turn a deaf ear to his call
and thero 1b no raoro hopo (Luko
13:3).
It hits been suggested that tho par
able of the prodigal son and tho elder
brother was uttered at this feast in
Levi's house; probably not, wo do not
know, but how truly It applies. Tha
prodigal representing thoso lost pub
licans and sinners.
COLDS AND CHILLS
BRING KIDNEY ILLS.
Colds, chills and grip strain tho
kldnejs and stall backache, urinary
dlsordem anil uric nodi troubles.
Dunn's Kidney Pills nu very useful
in t h i r a w
flclvrt i
snting months.
They slop back
ui he niid u r 1
nary disorders,
Loop the kid
lie.'t well and
prevent colds
from bottling on
t h o kidneys.
Cant. Nlehohi'i
W. New, 323 K First Kt , Mel'lierson,
Kans . rays: "When 1 began taking
Doan'B Kidney Pills, 1 had Just gotten
over an attack of grip which had
weakened my kidneys. My back ached
continually nnd the kidney socie
lions caused groat illscomfnit. Doan's
Kldnev Pills cured me entirely and I
haw had no kidney trouble since."
"Wlioti Your Hack Is l.aine, Keniember
tho Name DOAN'K." Ode , all stores.
Foster-Milbiirn Co., lIulYato. N. Y.
His Only Complaint.
Senator Iteverldge, at a luncheon In
New Voi It, was talking ahum the child
labor problem.
"Chllilion are so plucky and so
cheerful," ho said, "wo don't lealUe
how horribly ovei worked they are till
It's too late till tbolr bodies and
initnls are stunted Irretrievably.
"I was once talking to a tiny errand
boy at tho 1. eight or the Christmas
ehopi Ing reason lie was working. I
knew. 17 hours a day. At be walked
sturdily along with a mountain of par
cels piled on his thin, narrow shoul
ders. I said to him:
"'Ho you like your Job?'
'"Yes. sir.' lie said; 'I Ilko It tine.
Only -'
"Here he grinned up at inn gayly
from beneath his load.
"'Only I'm afraid I'm doing an au
tomobile truck out of a Job,"
No Wonder She Blushed.
Two of the University of Pennsyl
ranla track runners passed a learned
and preoccupied professor showing a
young woman visitor through the
"Gardens."
With a dainty shiver, tho girl re
marked: "It's dreadfiilly cold Isn't It tobe
without stockings?"
The professor's mind turned for a
moment from contemplation of the
fourth dimension.
"Then why did you lenvo them off?"
bo asked. Llpplncott's Magazine.
Cold Welcome.
A clergymnn In a small town was
deploring tho fact that none of tho
couples that enmo In from tho conn
toy to bo married stopped at his hoitso
for tho purpose
"Well, brother," said the man ad
dressed, "what can you expect with
that big sign on tho tree thero: 'Five
dollars lino for hitching hero?'"
Youth's Companion.
The Ugly Brute.
I "Sec that measuring worm crawl
I Ing up my skirt?" cried Mrs. HJenks.
, "That's a sign I'm going to havo a
new dress."
I "Well, let him mnko It for you,"
I growled Mr. HJenks. "And while he's
about it, have him send a bookworm
i to do you up tho back. I'm tired of
! the Job."
Nothing Hard About That.
"The woman I marry," ho said,
"must bo nble -to blush." "Oh," sho
replied, "I can do that. I blush every
tlmo I am seen anywhere with
you." San Francisco Chronicle.
Tho Reason for It.
"That caudldato certainly baa n
skillful way of-working on peoplo's
feelings."
"Hut, then, you know, hc' n dentist."
A vory Biicccssful remedy for pelvic
catarrh is hot douches of Paxtlifo An
tiseptic, at druggists, 25c n box or sent
postpaid on receipt of price by Tho
l'axton Toilet, Co., Boston, Mass.
Same Thing.
"I hear that firm's going under."
"Yes, they're going up."
As a corrective) for Indigestion nnd n regu
lator of tho fa-Mom. no ri-medv eiiu evce.1 in
L purity and cfllclency Garllcld feu.
Virtue may be Its own reward, but
the reward Isn't always legal tender
at the corner grocery.
"rink ICyr" I Epidemic In the Hprlni.-.
Try Murlue Eye Itemed; fur Helluble Itrllef.
If you aro poorer than your rela
tions it 1b easy for you to dodge them.
r hcrv
ggfegtselUAMory
21 Drop ot Blood
Or little water from the human yitem when
thoroughly tested by the chief chemist at Dr.
Pierce'a Invalids' Hotel, Buffalo, N. Y., tells the
story of impoverished blood nervous exhaustion
or some kidney trouble. Such examinations are
made without cost and is only a small part oi the
work ol the staff of physicians and surgeons under
tho direction oi Dr. It. V. Fierce giving the best
medical advice possible without cost to those
who wish to write and make a (ull statement of
symptoms. An imitation of natures method of
restoring waste of tissue and impoverishment of
the blood and nervous force is used when you
take an alterative and glycerio extract of roots,
without the use of alcohol, such as
Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
Which makes tho stomach strong, promotes the flow of digestive juices, re
tores the lost appetite, makes assimilation perfect, invigorates the liver and
purifies and enriches the blood. It is the lireat blood-maker, desk-builder
and restorative nerve tonic. It makes men strong in boJy, activo in mind
and cool in judgment. Get vvluit you usk fori
PUTNAM
Color more KooilabrlKliteranil faster colors than
nye any garmentwiaiout ripplna apart. VVrito
Sad Excuse.
The) weie twilling n friend who
ttutteied, upon the lact thai he bad
never boon married
"I kn kn know, boys, that I've never
b b been man led, but I was pie pre
piotty near It once"
"How was that?" liny Inquired
"Well, joti see. I ask ask asked a
l hi to hav-lwiv-linvc me. nnd she said
that she'd rather ho e ox-excused, and
I wiM such a fo fo fool, I ex ox-excused
her."
Summlnji It Up
"Was the charily ball a success?"
"Oh. yes, Indeed They say the
gowns must have cost a half million
at least."
"And how much was inlscd for
chin li) V"
"Whv, nearly $700. Wasn't that
tine 7"
Quite So.
"Pa. what Is a 'tidy imtiiiin?' "
"A clean, crisp, tenilollar bill, nn
son."
education does not mean teaehlM.
poople to ki.ovv wh.it they do uoi
know; It means ti.uiilug them to 1
havo as the) do mil behave Kuskln
When shown positive and reliable proof that a certain
remedy had cured many cases of female ills, wouldn't any
sensible woman conclude that the same remedy would also
benefit her if suffering with the same trouble?
Here are five letters from' southern women which prove
the efficiency of Lydia E. l'inkham's Vegetable Compound.
LKTTKU TliOM VIItCilNIA.
P.Uiston, Va. " I fool it my duty to express my thanks to you and your
groat medicine. I was a BiilTciur"friim female troubles nnd hud been con
lined In lied over one. third of my time for ten mouths. 1 could not do my
housework and had faiutinir spells so that my husband could not leave ma
alone for five minutes at a time.
"Now 1 ovvo niv health to I.yilia E. Pinltham's Vegetable Compound nnd
Itlooil Purifier. Whenever 1 see a suffering woman 1 want to tell her what
these medicines havo done fur mo and I will always speak a good word for
them." Mrs. ltouitUT lli.A.NKKNsini', Elliston, Montgomery Co., Va.
LETTKR FROM LOUISIANA.
New Orleans. Ln. "I was passing through the Change of Life nnd be
fore I took Lydia 12. Plnkham s Vegetable Compound 1 was troubled with
hot Hushes, weak and diz.y feelings, backache and Irregularities. I would
get up in the morning feeling tired nut and not fit to do anything.
'Since I have been taking your Compound and Wood Purifier I feel all
right. Your medielneB aro worth their weight in gold." Mrs. Oahtos
lti.oNDKAU, 1S41 Polymnia St., New Orleans, Lit.
LETTISH PllOM FLORIDA.
Wanchuln, Fin. "Homo tlmo ngo I wroto to you giving you my symp
touis, headache, backache, bearing-down, ami discomfort iu walking, caused
by female troubles.
"I got two bottles of Lydia K Plnkhnm'B Vegetnblo Compound nnd ft
package of SanMlve Wash anil tl at was all I used to make me a well woman.
"I am satisfied that if I had dono like a good many women, and had
not taken your remedies, I would havu boon a great sulTerer. Hut I started
in time with the right medicine itnil got well. It did not cost very much
cither. I feci that you are a friend to all women and 1 would rather mo
your remedies than havo a doctor." Mrs.M.vrriic Hod.not, Ho.x 400, Wau
chula, Florida.
IJ?TTKR FROM WEST VIRGINIA.
MarUnsburr?, W. Va. " I am glad to say that Lydia K. Plnkhnm'B Vege
table Compound has dono wonders for my mother, daughter and myself.
" I have told dozens of peoplo about it and my daughter savs that when ,
fiho hears a girl complaining with cramps, she tolls her to take your Com
pound." Mrs. Mahv A. 11ocki:niikuuv, 712 K. 3rd St., Martinsburg, W. Va.
ANOTHER LETTER FROM VIRGINIA.
Newport News, Va. "About five yearn ago I was troubled with such paint
nud bloating every month that, I would havo to go to bed.
"A friend told mo to tako Lydia li, Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and
I soon found relief. Tho medieino strengthened mc in every way and my
doctor approved of my taking It,
"I will bo glad If my testimony will help somo ono who 1b suffering
from female weakness." Mrs. W.J 11i.ayto.v, 10'J Hampton Ave., Newport
News, Va.
Why don't you try this reliable remedy?
W. L. DOUGLAS
SHOES
2.25 $2.50 3.0Q 3.50 MOO & 5.00
For MEN, WOMEN and BOYS
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FOR OVER 30 YEARS
THE NEXT TIME YOU NEED SHOES
Eive W.L. Douglas shoes a trial. W. L.
tauglas name stamped on a shoe guar
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for the money than other makes. His
name and price stamped on the bottom
protects the wearer against high prices
and inferior shoes. Insist upon having
the genuine W.L. Douglas shoes. Take
no Substitute. Ifyonril'lir-(innot!ipplyW.l.noiiKlH.
Ihw, wrlle W.l.llouvlfim llMcktiin, iUm, tor ritUlnK. Miim-im-iiI
eter jwbere Uellnry clmtgea ireiall. i'uil Color MSytltt utnl.
FADELESS DYES
any othcrdyc. One 10c package colors all fibers. They dye In cold waturbttterthannnyotherdye. You can
for free booklet How to Uye, bleach ami Mix Colore. MONKOli UKUG COMPANY, Qulncy, 111,
TRIED REMEDY
FOR THE GRIP.
wk
lbe.nai.il A
raw "lW hot
SOUGHS
YJ'.
W
wk
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miP9m' I
nCEiCMOR CTADnil i nuni-M tt
uknnriuL oiHiivn nm icku
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ULFIANCE" IS GUPCniOH QUALITY.
r
LIVE STOCK AND
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Electrotypes
IN ORBAT VARIETY
KORj SALE tAT TUB
LOWE8T PRICES DY
WESTERN NEWSPAPER UNION
321531 W. Adams St, Chicago
I THE NEW FRENCH REMEDY. No.,No.2.No.3,
I THER APIONSc5fiSffiwSS
I.KKtr MM Ks, I'llll.S klllNt.Y, IILAIIIlMt IMNKAMKS,
ru.i.s.ciiiMi.Mi ri.cms.HKis uhttio.sh-kitiikiinix
, H'til .llfr.i riiv.liil. for ntl.K ti.kM In UK. I.K CIR0
I kll.ll, CO , IIAVI.IIsllltK 111'., lUlH-hTEAD, I.UMJON, r.U,
W. N. U., LINCOLN, NO. 12-1912.
'I'
"fur --f ,-
