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OH0B, plcturesqueness and abil
ity in congress knows no sec
tion. Northornors, southern
ere, easternors and westerners
have their strengths and tholr
weakneBsea, tholr likes and their
dislikes, their physical manner
isms and tholr mental Idiosyn
crasies just like all other human
beings.
There hare been mon In con
gress who yoar la and year out
en evory occasion bare kopt hewing to tbo lino
of one special loglslatlvo endeavor. John T.
Morgan, for yeara senator from the stato of Ala
bama, worked for months untold to secure tho
adoption by tho United Stntos goTernmont of tho
Nlcaraguan routo for tho great Intoroceanlo
canal. Ho lost out, but It Is probable that tho
facts which ho obtalnod in his researches were of
mora valuo to the dlggora of tho canal than thoso
gathered by any other one man.
Bonator Morgan wan ono of tho noted excep
tions to tho psalmist's rulo for tho limit of tho
years of man. Some of tho flippant, and pos
sibly tired, senators declared that Mr. Morgau's
speeches were as long an his llfo. If tho voice
of tho Alabama man had boen younger there
would havo been few sloopy onos la tho scnato
when ho talked that is when ho talked on any
other subject than tho Interoceanlc canal. Then
It was to fly before tho faco of his oratory.
Thero wob substanco to Senator Morgan's
spooches, and this much cannot bo said for tho
Tocal efforts of some of tho flippant and younger
onos. Tho agod one's words went into tbo Con
gressional Record and illuminated its pages.
When ho rcfto to speak many of the colleagues
of Mr. Morgan rotreated to tho restaurant or the
cloak room. Only rarely did he tako apparent no
tice of the scorning dlscourtosy. Once, wlsolyor
unwisely, ho said with something of pathos In
bis volco that ho wlshod ho could talk in tho
lunch room, for thcro ho would bo sure of an
audlcnco.
Mr. Morgan was no imperialist. He had a fear
In his heart of tho outcome of tho policy of expan
sion, and the note of warning that came from his
lips was frequent and forceful. Ono day, nftcr
outlining tho position which ho believed his
country should take, his volco enmo back to
hlsn. Senators starting to leave their Beats sunk
back and listened. Tho words fairly rang through
the chamber. This was what be sold:
"In this lofty attitude we can prove the vir
tu of the republlo before tho eyes of all man
kim, or we can set Its light as a beacon to warn
coming generations that, even in tho highest
reactt of power and advantage, this republic
the. cynosure of all eyes Is affeoted to the core
wltH the sin of covetouinesi, and Is aflame with
the consequent lust of power that Is attended
wltta tho usurpations, tyrannies and oppressions
which have marked the course of the oligarchies
and despots that have disgraced the history of
other nations."
The senate of the United States stands for dig
nity. Sometimes the dignity Is overdone, but, on
one occasion the Senato was undignified to the
point of striking several older senators with
horror.
Senator Tillman of South Carolina was mak
ing nothing loss, than an impassioned speech. He
was reaching toward the skies of oratory, when
Senator Warren loft his seat, unseen of Tillman,
and took station behind the South Carolinian.
The spoaker had both hands high over his head
directing tho soaring of his thoughts and words.
Warren took a step forward. Ills hand stole
to Tillman's side, slipped into his pocket, and
came out again holding In Us clutch a big black
bottlo.
All unconscious Tollman went on with his words
of Are. Warren hold bis find aloft in full view
of tho presiding officer, of bis colleagues and tfie
crowded galleries. There was a gasp, then a
smothered and simultaneous gurgle of horror
from a hundred, throats, and tbon roaring laugh
ter uncbeckablo!
Tillman turned and knowledge of the awfulness
of his situation camo to him. For once, possibly
for the first tlrao In his life, he was staggered
to speechlessness. Ho strove for words, but they
came not at his bidding. His face was first black
with something like anger. Then the cloud clear
ed and a smile broko through. Speech returned,
and two words came: ."Boraclc add."
It wos boraclc ncld, but unfortunately for Mr.
Tillman, it had been put into n black and suipl
clous bottle. A sore throat was the reason for Its
carrying, and while the South Carolinian Is a
man of known truth, be would not let the matter
pass until be had passed the bottle and had
forced him comrades to smell tho stuff and make
clear his temperance record.
Neither senate nor bouse makes light of pen
sion pleas In the presenco of the galleries, but
some of tho would-be pensioners play comlo roles
In the committee rooms and corridors. Claim
ants who can prove things are treated as old sol
diers and old soldiers' widows ought to be treated
decently and reverently.
Congress In Its weakness has voted pensions
on many an occasion, though doubtless know
ing that tho pensions were unearned and unde
served, but the day of that sort of thing Is pass
ing, If It has not altogether gone. One member
was asked to use his Influence to secure an in-
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crease of pension for tho widow of a soldier.
There were papers forwarded to him which bora
on the case, and these he turned over to the
committee on pensions after his bill had been
Introduced.
The widow did not get ber money, and it was
not long beforo the whole house knew why. The
member who had espoused the widow's cause
had been in congress for years, and the Joke at
his expense was too good to keep, and one after
another of his colleagues walked up to'hls desk
and congratulated him on the wisdom shown In
the plea which was In written form, he had
turned in to tho committee to win the widow's
case.
It is perhaps needless to eay that the mem
ber had never read the ploa. It set forth tho
fact that while the amount of pension Increase
the widow of the soldier hero asked for was
large, It must be understood "that she came of
good family, moved in the beet social circles, and
was In need of a large sum of money to keep up
appearances."
Upon occasion senators and representatives per
mit their constituents to do their talking for
them in congress. Petitions come in floods at
times, with the object of securing legislation by
external pressure. In the Smoot case, and in
the pure food and army canteen matters the pleas '
of the people came In by the tens of thousands.
The members -of both nouBes present these let
ters, call attention to their Import and then allow
the petition to do the rest If they are potent
enough.
Senator Latimer of South Carolina once Intro
duced a good roads bill calling for the expendi
ture of government millions for the Improvement
of the highways. The automoblllsts all over the
country began sending letters of approval. They
pressed their friends Into the writing service, but
that they did not always pass upon the persuasive
merits of the friends' productions Is-shown fair
ly well by one letter on the good roads' subject
received by Senator Cullom. It read like this:
"Dear Mr. Cullom: Please vote for this d d
bill, and you will oblige a fool friend of mine
who runs an automobile. Yours more or less
sincerely, "
It was a Chicago man who wrote this appeal.
There were others like unto It, The good roads
bill still sleeps.
In the older days the school readers contained
the story of "I'll Try Sir Miller." Probably
everybody knows who 'Til Try Sir Miller," was.
Certainly eveybody ought to know. Gen. James
Miller then a captain, was tho hero of Lundy's
Lane. He said he would try to do the thing
necessary for the thrashing of the enemy, and he
did it, and "I'll Try Sir," took the placo of bis
Christian name James.
For years several representatives In congress
tried to secure an appropriation to be used for
the building of a monument to General Miller at
Peterboro, N. H., near which town "I'll Try 8Ir"
lived on farm before the war of 1812, and for
yeara aftor Its close. The representatives who
bad the matter of pushing the bill in hand used
the words of Captain Miller at Lundy's Lane to
express their own determination to secure a vic
tory. They certainly did try, and the speeches
that were made before the library committee of
congress held patriotic appeals in every sentence.
Apparently, however, 1t was easier for Miller to
capture a battery against odds than it was for
members of congress to capture the dollars neces
sary to build a monument of enduring stones
to bis memory. "
It was a case of try and try again. While the
cause of Miller, whose heroism was worth a
dozen monomentB, was being pleaded, congress
voted money for memorials to other men less de
serving. Finally, however, a New Hampshire
member who bad been digging into history found
out something about "I'll Try Sir's" career which
was not generally known. Congress had been
told time and again that Captain Miller not only
had shown conspicuous gallantry nt Lundy Lane,
but that prior to that fight he had thrashed a
superior force of British and Indians at Managua.
Congress had also been told that Miller had com
manded the center column of General Brown's
army, which routed what was apparently an
overwhelmingly greater force of the British at
Fore Erie.
These things didn't make an Impression. Con
gress seemed to think that Inasmuch as Miller
was a soldier that it was his business to defeat
superior forces of the enemy every day in the
week without imposing any monument-raising
duty on posterity. The New Hampshire member,
however, found out that after the war of 1812
Miller went back to his farm near Petersboro,
plowed fields, chopped wood and milked the cows
Instead of going to Washlngton.to ask the gov
ernment to do something for him on account of
his record.
Miller's popularity was such after the treaty of
peace that the government probably would bave
been glad to give blm anything that it had to
give.. When "111 Try Sir"- was asked why he
was playing Clnolunatus instead of taking a Job
In Washington, he replied: "When men begin
leaving the farms for the cities the nation will
begin to decay."
Congress was told or this saying of Miller's,
and either admiration for bis choice of a farm
er's life or else belief that he was a prophet
who before long might have the .truth of his
prophecy proved, brought a favorable report
from the committee on library In the matter of
the monument at Petersboro.
New York May Establish Tramp Colony
The Shepherd of the Black Sheep
Professor Sir Charles Bell In the
trans Calls It a Convulsive Ac
tion of the Diaphragm.
"Laughter," aays Professor Sir
Charles Bell la the London Strand, "Is
a convulsive action of the diaphragm.
In this state the person draws a full
breath and throws it out in interrupt
ed, short and audible cachtnnatlons.
This convulsion of the diaphragm Is
the principal part of the physical man
ifestation of laughter; but there are
everal accessories,' especially the
aaarp vocal utterance arising from the
violent tension of the larynx and the
xxeesloB of the features, this being
-
a more Intense form of the smile. In
extreme cases the eyes are moistened
by the effusion from the lachrymal
glands."
There you have a scientific defini
tion. But it is clear that mankind
would hardly take the trouble to go
through that experience If that Is all
that laughter consisted of. They
would not regard a Dickens or a
Mark Twain as a benefactor merely
because a perusal of their writings
produced that. No; even the philoso
phers know that laughter Is something
better than that something Internal
that there Is such a thing as silent
laughter. Hobbea calls laughter "a
sudden glory arising from a sudden
conception of some emlnency in our
selves by comparison with the infirm
ity of others, or with our own for
merly." If a laugh Is a benefaction and the
provoker of a laugh a benefactor, why
are there more statues to dull people
than to witty ones? Who was the
greatest laugh promoter In hlstoryT
It was said of Sidney Smith that be
was the father of 10,000,000 laughs.
"Laughter," said Lord Rosebery re
cently, "is a physical necessity. We
live under a sunless sky, surrounded
by a melancholy ocean, and It is a
physical necessity for the English na
tioneven for the Scotch nation and
tho Welsh nation to laugh. It ex
hilarates all social relations. Was
not," his lordship added, "the laugh
of Sir Frank Lockwood something that
would make a stuffed bird rejoice?
And those who listened to the splen
dor of merriment which he could Im
part by that laugh realise the Intense
value of that emotional exercise."
Alibi.
Father (having caught his son in
a lie) Haven't I always told you to
tell the truth?
Son Yes, father; but you also told
me never to become the slave of a
habit.
Do yon over think or the irrevocable
nature of speech T You may find,
years after your light word was
spoken spoken, that it made a whole
life unhappy, or ruined the peace ol
a hoaseaold. Stopfe Brooke.
NEW YORK. The tramp evil In
this stato may soon bo solved. A
bill provides not only for tbo appoint
ment of a commission to inquire care
fully Into the conditions ot vagrancy,
but also makes nn appropriation for
tho purchase ot GOO acres of land
upon which to establish a tramp col
ony. That thero Is need of some
moro adequate method of dealing, with
the vagrant class than has formerly
obtained Is known to overy person,
and tho establishment ot a farm
whero vagrants might bo employed
and reclaimed Is believed by those
who havo made a study ot tho subject
to bo tho proper solution ot tho dim
culty. Tho vagrants now in this stato
would form n population as large as
that of tho city of Albany. Tho Jails,
penitentiaries and almshouses nrc put
to an expense of $2,000,000 annually
In endeavoring to copo with tho prob
lom which has arisen through tho ex
istence of this undeslrnblo clement.
Out far moro serious than this ts tne
loss caused by tho destruction of
property, robberies, Ikes and kindred
misdemeanors which cost tho state,
tho railroads and other prlvnto Inter
ests over $10,000,000 yearly.
The immense number of tramps
trespassing on railroads and the fa
talities which overtako many of tbom
may be estimated from the fact that
in a period of five years 23,964 tres
passers wcro killed and 2C.23G woro
Injured In tho United States whllo
stealing ildes. Most of them wero
frumps and at leaBt one-fifth of tho
accidents took place in this stato. ,
The bill proposes as a solution tho'
establishment of a labor colony. Tho
latter, briefly, Is a stato owned colony
for tho detention, reformation and In
struction in agriculture and other in
dustrial occupations of persons com-,
mltted by magistrates as vagrants nnl1
tramps.
In Switzerland thero Is Hiich a col
ony, located at Wltzwlll, in tho canton
of Demo, and it has proved most suc
cessful. Practically all of tho work
Is dono by the inmates. Not only is
agriculture carried on, but other en
terprises nro also conducted. Tho
buildings of the institution havo been
erected by tho Inmates and nil of the
futnlturo Is made by them. Thoy,
even tnnke wngono and carriages and
the vnrlous tools and appliances used
on tho farm.
With tho establishment of such a
colony tho vagrant in Now York
would And himself between tho horns
of an uncomfortable dilemma either
detention nt tho farm colony or the
giving n wido berth to tho stnto In
which ho now is found most often.
Whatever choice ho makes should
mean an annual saving to the publla
of millions of dollars.
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Millionaire Gives a Swimming Party
MACON, GA. The smart Fet of Ma
con is agog because ot tho fact
that 20 young men and 20 young wom
en, all prominent socially, passed n
wholo night In a swimming pool at
tired only in bathing costumes. Tho
costumes wero of tho daintiest, and
also of tho scantiest, and tho tempera
ture of the swimming pool was pleas
ant, but the 20 couples did not enjoy
themselves. They passed the night In
abbreviated coBtumeB in the pool, not
because they wanted to, but because
they had to.
W. D. Bllllngslea, millionaire, with
a magnificent home to which a spa
cious swimming pool is attached,
has been giving swimming parties
during hot weather, which have been
attended by the young men and wom
en of the smart set. Bllllngslea on
this occasion Invited 20 men and 20
women or the most exclusive set to a
swimming party.
The couples splashed about In the
water, flirted a bit and then splashed
some more until after midnight. Then
some one noticed tbo lateness of the
hour, and a rush was made for the
dressing rooms. Then it was discov
ered that tbo clothes of the 40 had
been taken, and that the swimming
pool had been locked. Bllllngslea
himself was one or the victims.
Efforts to make themselves heard
were In vain, and tho 20 men and the
20 girls wero forced to spend the
night in the swimming pool clad In
tbelr scanty costumes.
Finally, about flvo o'clock, Billings
lea made some of his servants bear
and the doors of tho pool wero forced
and the party of men and girls re
leased. It was not a merry crowd thao
emerged.
Bllllngslea thinks some one played
a practical Joke on his guests, but he
Is mad clear through, and has offered
a large reward for discovery of the
person who stole the clothes and
locked the pool. At any rate, there
will bo no more swimming parties In
Macon for tho present.
fcV.
Chicago Boys Work During Vacation
Lf2
V!rae7 I
HUU
I AM WlLUMC
TO ATART IH
FOR B2?
ren WEEK
WITH A HAUt
THK SECOND I
CHICAGO. With the closing ot the
schools It Ib estimated that there
are about 100,000 boys between tho
ages ot 14 and 20 years who look for
summer Jobs. That is, there aro 100,
000 the first week. When the second
week comes along there are about
00,009 who still think they want to
work, about 20,000 t..o third week and
nbout 15,000 who retain their determi
nation throughout the summer.
The average high school youth of
this year expects to earn at least $10
B wee (o sian, wun a raise ai mo
end of every fortnight. Alas! It
seems employers have not the proper
respect for their culture, "'oat of
these boys, tbo really valuable ones,
get over their self-esteem after being
rebuffed 'a few times.
One high school student, who bad
completed his sophomore year, and
who during the winter had been one ot
the most popular boys In the school,
started looking for a $10 Job and end
ed collecting bundles in a department
store for $3.60 a week. Ho had some
good stuff in him, however, as was
shown by his raise to $5 a week be
fore the summer was over and the
offer of a better Job when he bad fln-'
Ished school.
In one department store last year
there were no less than 14 boys from
one of the local high schools, all or
them Belling "gents' furnishings."
These were the older boys and in oth
er stores there wcro high school
"men" doing everything from collect
ing bundles, wrapping them, helpings
with stock, dotng the work ot four
assistant office boya, to Jobs paying
$10 a week, a remarkably high wage'
for the inexperienced youth of tender-years.
State of Kansas Bars Public Towels
TOPEKA, Kan. Kansas was the
first state to abolish tbo common
drinking cup in hotels, railroad trains
and stations, and In the common
schools. It has gone one stop farther,
and the common towel will soon dis
appear from all public places. After
an exhaustive investigation the chem
ists and bacteriologists of the Kansas
board of health recommended that the
common roller towel be forbidden as
dangerous to the people of the state
and the board adopted the order that
the stiffly starched boarding bouse
towel be cut up Into individual tow
els, and everyone' nave a clean face
wipe whenever the exigencies of the
occasion demanded a facial bath.
At a meeting of the board an in
vestigation of the roller towel was
ordered. Towels wjere collected in tho
hotels and public schools of several
cities ot the state. Railroad trains
were boarded In different lines, and
the roller towels In the wash rooms
confiscated. These were taken to the
state's health laboratories at the state
university and examined,
kxXKTOOZKA
AbOlliHfD
BY ORDER
Of THE
STATE Of
KAMA
i
rjfKTn o.
V V
IL i jj J(eJ
In some Instances, the bacterial
count ran as high as 1,833,000 bac
teria to a square centimeter ot the
towel. The tests showed that 26 per
cent of the towels examined bacculius l
coll was found. Thousands of skin
scales were found on each towel,
showing bow the skin rubs off in min
ute particles whenever the face and
hands are wiped thoroughly.
Tho order means that all the schools
will furnish paper towels for the chil
dren. These come in rolls and are
about as cheap for 100 towels as laun
dering one. towel. The railroads prob
ably will put lu paper towels or have
individual towels for rent, and the
hotels are expected to put individual
towels into the washrooms.
M