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About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (June 3, 1909)
aCTTMMVflr'i . , TO WHOM IS HONOR? iXMSGJteMUK: .iuc'.;: "VellHere we are again! RECORDS SILENT AS TO AMERI CA'S FlftST HUMORIST. An old acquaintance back. Just as happy, just as snappy, just as gingery, just as enticing Progenitor of Long Line of World's Most Distinguished Men Has Yet to Do Identified Is It Na thaniel Ward? Who ernfked tho first Joke In Amor lea? Tho early icrords do not statr Wo nro not oven qtilto Hiiro as to the first Amerlran 'who tried lo h" fuiinv IK When You go m Away from Mental fK IH i Yosir Eyes Work On mtMnVPfvvW fTWPW(WWl Tim New llriildi-ltay fcl.i"a ni. 'ipeciolV r .uni-itcmlcd tnt outdoor pof tml rfcrcntion. N itnlngliK"! antinynnr foi t,e i'ufl of llic Mi itii Kay, Ncan'Cth'-y !- II" ec J-'-'0' -'irA-1i(t5't " ti'-t 1'"" pottiom. as Nututc intended. Iinl I en iter cent, of natural henllh Unlit nadir" the eye ibi-Misti tlf ptrselittyc plum lei'K you wenr. All ilichrMtb-Klvlngpflitlsabsorbrilbytlipglasaniidfew of miy Iml (lie hint rr.jmendi tin- delicate lclllin of the yf. Hi w.tii Kay I.i.Xbi Slot and jitolcct. y,vv health mid vigor, trnnsmiti ic Fh -. li'-.ilth r.iy-t, iiml tliruugh till avenue create Dili ml blood for tin- entire b)Mcm. Health-Rays Give Easy, Comfortable Vision No strnlniiin or striving to sec ns others see no tlrcatl of the bright mm uucc 'breakdowns". If you want tho genuine) look for the above trade mark on each Leni. NEWHOUSE Jewelers and ft" .235:333 rr A Nice New StOGk m '! WII"lla.liiee W Of Groceries just received at I he Home to jg Grocery; We now m M line of 'fancv and staple groceries. m 'me. auradl See z- (fi JA1sq' a large assortment of choice sit t queensware at the lowest prices possible. $ m m P. A. Wullbrandt SUCCESSOR TO Fulton Grocer Company. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&$&& IS IT fl HEW STOVE, OR A New Buflfty Or Farm machinery We have them all. Remember, our stock of Har ness, Hardware, Buggies and Farm Machinery Is Complete at all times. ::::: Wi: pay Spkoiai. intuition to Supplying Hulldor'.s Hardware at tho Lowest Prices. Ukst goods. Wk are also in position to do Plu.nbinir work, and all Kinds of Pipe Cutting anil Kitting $ CALL AND see; us 5 Wc will luivs in n Line of A UTQMOIill.US Soon. ? : Hed Glpiid Hardware "? !WM WOLFE. 2Vr. vsicA-XV Many a man has paiil a uwyor S and $D for poorer advico than his wife would willingly have jjlvon him for nothing BO YEAHS' EXPERIENCE TnADE Mafms QE3I0NS COPVI'QHTS &C. Anrone mridlrn: n nlcetrh and iloscrlptlnn may qulcklr Hsoortnln our opinion freo whether mi iiiTBinloti is prohntilr tpptalilo Coniiiiunlm. lioniKirlctlf roiilldoiitlul. HANDBOOK on I'ateuta vent freo. ()llet nuenrr for nuiurinir vntoma. I'aimits tnkun thmuuh Sluiin fc t rvcutre rl(il tioflcr, without charKe, In tho Scientific: fliticricai!. A hnn!"omi'ly Hhi.trnltMl weekly. l.nmcKt cir culation of miy rilvmltlu louriuil. 'rvrnm, IJ a fnri four ninuttia, tl. Sold hyiill iioneilMilern. jyUNN&Co.30,Dfoad-NewYor!( 'llxmrtti lilting ). 1. tit ll'..l.l n.. Ik llraiich omee. (3S V BtH Wnililiuiion, I). C Fop Hoadaclie. Biliousness DeWltfs Llttlo EARLY RISERS ijjTTjjra for an Outing IS and Physical Cares Ullllll Hill IIHIIWHU'm11!1" BROTHERS Optometrists. AS it) it xbs have a complete ii it it it it it it) it) it) it) & Implement Go. 1 Secretary. j vAaAaA - SHIGHESTER SPILLS I DIAMOND BRAND LADinS I DIA Goi. Rlhhon llriiftlil . . . .:r." .r" ,l,r uiiKn.ir.iin eara rccnnlcil ns ncst.SafcM, Always Reliable! SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS EVERYWHERE SgS The Si'orotury of Commorcoof Labor Is still wondering if lie dure dismiss S. X. J). North, Director nf the Census, in view of the opposition of the power ful moinhorh of Congress who have eomu to .Mr. North's support. The Sooretary determined somo tune ago to got rid of Mr. North whom ho did not regard as competent longer to ad minister tho Census llureau, but thoro was n rush of powerful Sonntors and others! to the White Houso. 0tCT M?tVr!,.r,,t for Cni-CIIKS-TRR'S A ! "". Bcnieu wun lllueC ..... ,, uiiiun, lluyoFyour V on paper. f)f coiirH' Home of tin- ny cnrllcHt coIoni-tH In both Vllvlnl uml New KiiRland wrote liutnonms a in! snrcnstlc artounls bnrk ho'n- Ono mh lit call to mind ' ihn To v nf the Janu'ticwn sfMlement. wl.n letters (o the liotiic folks vii' jp..'.- ly wltlyj riaiu'lH lllggliiHim, stiVy old Now KiiKlnndi r, somr,timns !,n goroiiBly ni'iir Joking, and hoiih- wmlil nay Ihul William Wood of Aliur.'clm Kotts by IiIh sprlKhlly Now Kn;:land ProBpoi't (in.11) ili'Bi-rvos the plnro n , first of J ho nuiiH rmt fathers of Ameri can humor. Hut tho first man to do It with nial Ico nforcllioiiKlit and with tho-Inton-' tlon of piihlislilug also neoms to have been tho New Kngland preacher." Nn-1 thanlcl Ward ( 1578-1(152). It was ho who wrote the llrst Amorlcan book of humor. "Tho Simple Cobbler of Aga warn." Other books ho composed, but as they deal extensively In promises of volcanic landscapes In tho next world they cannot with propriety bo called funny. Ward was a wldowor of consider able standing In point of tlmo when ho perpotrated tho "Simple Cobbler," a fact which may havo some bearing on tho tenor of his remarks, of which there are many, concerning women. "To speak moderately," says he, "I truly confess It Is beyond tho ken of my understanding to conceive how those women should havo any true grace or valuable virtue, that havo so little wit as to disfigure themselves with such exotic garbs, as not only dismantles Ihclr nnMvo lovely luster. but tiaiisslouts them Into gant bar geese. Ill sbapon, shotten shollltah, Kgyptlan hieroglyphics, or nl lust Into rronch iltirta of tho pastery. which a proper r.nnllsh woman should scorn with her h' Is. It Is no marvel they wear dralles on tho hinder part of their brails, hain nothing as It seems in tho forepart but a few sipilr- rrla' brains to help them frisk from ono lllfavori'd fashion to another. Tlu world U full of care, much l'ko unto ii hulil'l'. Woiiivn urn! can', nnil onio anl wnliU'ti, Anil womiMi anil uiiv ami tnuihlo. "It Is a more common than convenient saying that nine tailors make a man; it were well that 1!) could make a woman to her mind. It Is no little la bor to be continually pulling up Eng lish women into outlandish casks; who, If they be not shifted anew once In a few months, grow too sour for their husbands. What this ttade will answer for themselves when Cod shall take measure of tailors' consciences Is beyond my skill to Imagine. . . . Ho that makes coats for the moon, had need take measure every noon, and he that makes for women, as often, to keep them from lunacy." Se waneo Review. Simple Menu of Queen. Queen Alexandra, who Is retaining her beauty marvelously, makes her dally menu something like this: He fore rising Bho cats a few thin slices of brown bread, spread with unsalted butter. Her It o'clock breakfast con sists of fruit, a couple of coddled eggs and dry biscuits. A llttlo delicate fish or chlckon, a salad and fruit comprises her luncheon. With her four o'clock glass of milk sho eats a couple of honey cakes. She never eats tho heavy elaborate dinner served to tho rest of the family. Instead, sho has llttlo private dishes of tiny French oysters grilled on toast, stowed cel ery and a green salad dressed only with oil and salt. She never eats any more elaborate sweet than apple baked with honey. When at Sandrlngham blip makes butter In hor own churn In the dairy every day, and then has a luncheon of whole wheat biead and buttermilk, which sho Bays, Is a "meal lit for Uio goddess," and tho most vholosomo any pretty woman can eat. Precaution. Tho melancholy visitor peered about tho grocery, store. "You keep tho only commercial em porium In the place, do you udt?" he asked of tho proprietor. "I do. What enn I do for yeh?" "Sell mo nil the stalo eggs you havo." "Haw, haw! Must be going to the show tonight." -'! am billed to play lli.'inlet In this benighted village this evening," re plied the caller with dignity. Pleasure of Giving. Tho billionaire was explaining how to bestow gifts. "Make them conditional upon others giving as much," ho said. "Hut supposing tho others can't af ford it?" "In that caso you havo tho pleasure of seeing them hustlo," replied the billionaire. "And besides," ho ndded blandly, "you may got your monoy back." The Chair of Forgetfulness. "What I wnnt," said tho fretful magnate, "Is to find somo way of for getting my troubles." "That's easy," answered Mr. Dustln Stax. "Get them to put you In the witness chair during a trust Investigation." JmMm3 1 NATIONAL BISCUIT COMPANY g 'r n-iM.iiyjr)a-jjAuira (Continued from font th page) to tho tariif bill. Your correspondent ventures the prediction that they are all mistaken nud that no Mich ptovis ion will bo made. There will bo an effort to add such a provision in the form of an adinendinent, to the tariff bill, but it will full and the amend-iiii-ul will be referred to the -Judiciary t'uUimitU-e with utMriicliniis t) repoit lust winter whether an 'uumou- tax law which will .tain! the te-t of the e :.itj can lie ilr.il'tid. It .oliuhly im pruuulile, motcuvcr. that the Jiulieiun, lou.mittP" will ever make any ic ml t'ltisiiiint (u that rt fureiicu. Souk- ,f the Democratic nilvo-jnteSof an incuine tax law arc complaining that they are being opposed by President Tuft and that I he White llouso inllii-iue is pioviug effective. That i probitily true, fur while Mr. Talt has said that he is not opposed to an inoine lax. he regards it as a lust resoit and would greatly prefer, flr.st a tax on inheritan ces, second a tax on the dividends of corporations, and lastly an income tax. If any tax in addition to the tariff is ncces.sai v to meet the expenses of tho government. The Pres'dcnt has fur ther signllcd his willingness to wait uiitill next December bcfoie recom mending any of these laws, as by that time ho believes it will bo possible to tell whether or not tho now pending tariif bill will bring in sulllcient re venue. It is somewhat diillctilt to under stand why the Democratic Senators do not advocate a tax on tho dividends of corporations Such a tax would meet with the cordial upproval of tho President and probably with that of nine tenths of tho voters Of course Mr. Aldrich and the rest of the Repub lican organixution in tho Senate would oppose such a tax but It is very doubt ful If the organization could command sulllcient strength to prevent the en actment of the law. Hy choosing that form "of taxation which the President has declared that ho favors only as a last resort tho Democrats have, appar ently, missed an opportunity to under mine the whole system of protection. Senator Aldrich has ingonuioiisly con fessed that he believes tho adoption of any form of special taxation will under mine the protcutivo -sj.stem, because mice the people come to realms the be nclits uf direct taxation, with the clear knowledge of how much tax each man pays and the close supervision of pub lic expenditures which that would pi in duce, tho people will insist upon the abandonment of the tariff system. Under such circumstances it would hootn to bo the part of wisdom on tho part of tho Democrats to align theni selves behind that form of direct taxa tion which would bo most possible of enactment. Senator llailey, In an effort to de fond his voto for a duty on iron oro, has assailed practically everyone who has seen fit to criticize him and al most before he took his seat was proven to have given false witness by two of ills Democratic colleagues, llailey at tacked Governor Johnson of Minnesota "Marse" Honry Watterson of Louis ville, and and an independent paper in his own state becauso thoy had criti cised his voto for a duty on iron ore. IIo then declared that tho Stel Trust did not want a duty on Iron ore, where, upon Senators Uayncr and Smith of Maryland, both Dumocrats, arose and declared that the Steel Trust did want such a duty and Mr. Smith said he had boeu approached by representatives of tho Stocl Trust who urged him to voto for a duty on ore DeWitt's Kidney aiul Bladder Pills FOR BACKACHE GINGER SNAPS i Package V ZXBSSZtSZSZSiXftBi J Sometimes you may be told that there arc other things just as good as DeWltfs Kidnev and Hladder Pills. That isn t so Nothing made is as good as DeWitt's Kidney and Bladder Pills for any ailments of the kidney or blad der, which always result in weak back, backache, rheumatic pains, rheuma tism and urinary disordeis. A I rial of DeWitt's Kidnev nud lllnddir Pills is Mlllli'ii'iit t ciiii Mice you bow good Miey.iu- si. ,)ur liatiie to V.. t'. lioWin (.' i , i liiciiu'o. for a five trial bo. Tlif.v are .,,!, ,ere by all Dm;?-"i-ls. k'.a mm ji ittu HmrmwiwiHuw -ifcnmr, wvjo Thr Standard Bred Trotting Stallion Oscar Wagner, No. 30507 will 11111I.U the m-iimiii of IIHW. at Dr. AnIiit's barn, Iteil Cloial. Time of his ct have Hhown ability to k In'JSiO anil one could beat 'Irii Inst year ami Hcfrnlotliurs can ijo in i!:iu or better. Ills brccdluc ISHtroin; In trottlm; Hues from end to end, no weak Npots on the sides to slip out at, be has more luri;u rolls than any other trottlm; horse that ever Mood u tho county. Oscar Wanner, :so.Vi7 wiib Hired by Norvul t'hlef No. 1HI.V1, record All) l-l; ho by Nerval KIR. by Klectloneer li'j, by Ilainbletonlnn 10, (isenr Wanner 1st, dam by Madrid ITO, 'Jiiddain by Onward Ull.Ilddnm KeottHTIinimiNtmi, lib dam by Planet. Oscar Warner :!07)7 nearest paternal ancestors are as follown: Norval I'hlef leeord -Alii l-l, sire of six froin'J:irto,J::W, Norval record 2:11 M slronflOH, from 2:011 l-l to -'::t0: onward till, slruof IDS from 2:10 M tu2::tuKlirlloiii-rrslrc III), from 2:07:1-1 to2S!0; l!eore Wilkes .No.ril!) slruof K0, front 2:i:i 1-2 to 2::io: llambletonlau 10. sire of 10 from 2:17 l-l to 2Stn. Oscar Win ner's paternal ancestors haseslred, sonsslred and daughters proilueed nearly oite-thlid of all the 2-10 performers to date. Oscar Wan ner Is a seal brown, 15 1-2 hands hinh. wclnht about 11.7) In full audi, fall at barn and sic horse. John Gilbert. IT 13 NtT A SAVIN! PiLICY to i; without Insurance. The risk assumod is too great for the small premium you kp in your pocket. Figure ut how many years you would bar U be free from any llr in nriUr t Eitve th value of your lions and contents. Then consider that yu may hav a fir tliis very night. Tin cost f arou a little blaze will br more than tho pre mium of PI HI-: INSURANCE POIt YBAUS Hut tor have tno Issue you a policy today. It's a whola lot bettor to be sure than sorry, as many an un insured man has bten, O. C. TEEL, Red Cloud, Nebr. 2 U T8 V rt Order To Shaw Cause. Stntfi nr Viili..i i Wchster'i ounty.' ' f It-The Courty Court Ara t ounty Court held at the County Court room In and for said county Wednes day June 2nd A. I)., moy. In the matter of the estate of William outluvalle. Deceased. oiiieadlunaiidillinnthe petition of .i.-ssi.. M. Killou piiiylnu that the Instrument nn-d on tin 1st day of June, 'woo ititippiirporiiiitr lo be tl last in ,! Testament ot the -aid dieiasi-dmni bepimd.appioeil. pr..l.:1tid. allowed and n curded as the last Win .,,,,1 TeMtaiiietitof tbcsald lllbim diubuui'i .ic-cia-id. ainllbal tin- t.uiutlun ..f llu Iostu an i.t ma becomnillieil, ami tin adii.linsiia ii"iii.(.s.;dtstalemay la vtuniislto I ,ii.ml l iio'n. as l.ti'ciitiir. i.,.iiiiii. that Wediusdny tlieiai, ,li ,.f '""i - I'.. I1IU.I tit two o-cluck p. ,.,'. is a m -md foriiiniitiK said netltluii. i ,n tfr ii VLy r r w' P. IS..H, inu-rohtcil In snld matter i.,:n ,,. , i " "t at iiimty court lobe lu-ld In nnd for .ti 'im. nud show cause why tin piunr pi -1111,11 should not bo nrautt-d, mil that I. .tut of the pendency u( Klid peim,,,, !lmI tbt hi arliitf thereof bo nlven to all ptrsous liitiresud In said matter, by publlslilnn a eopj of this older lit tho Ited Cloud chief, a weekly newspaper printed In said touiili , for three successive weeks prior to said dav of hcarlun. I. W. Kiisox, l",,u- County . I udc. Order to Show Cause SWebsUco!:nty ( "' thel'ou.Uy Court. r n County Court held at thu County Coiirl room In ( for h.,(1 ,.otln,y Wf.lncs day June 2nd A. I nwu. In tho matter of the estate of Harriet Nel son I let-cased. ONreadlnnand illlnn the petition of I.ovluu (filbert Hied on the 2nd day of Juno A. I luoji, praylnn for thu examination and allowancuof her llnal account of tho same date, a decree of asslnnmeut of the lamU bu-loiu-lnn to said estate to tho persons entitled to the name, an onler dlstrllmtlnt; thu residue of personal estate and theru upon an order dlseharnlnn bur from further burden nud service In her said oillteas administratrix. ouiiKiiKii, That .Saturday tho lUth day of -liuie-A. I), pjoii at two o'clock p. m., Is as hlnncil for hciirlm; said petition when all per sons Interested In said matter may appear at a County Court to be hold In and for said county ami show cause why prayer of peti tioner should not bu nranted; and that notice of the pendency of said petition and the hcarlun thereof bu nlvcn to all persons Interested In said matter, by publlslilnn a copy of this order In the Ited Cloud Chief, a wiekly newspaper printed In said county, for three consecutive ei ks prloc to SM.l day of bearllin- ' sl'w-l I. W. i:i.s..s County ludm-. I inn now located in ihe Winfrey bit eding barn in Hod C'loutt and have tF' two lino Missonti, and ono line h'xcol l"iit Kentucky Jacks, and ono fine Por-clicron-Noiinan Stallion lor service for tho season of I'.ml). Call ami see them. II. A .Ioiinso.v, proprietor. PATB Hrlgbt bay Shire stallion, 0 yours old, Id hands high, weight HJOO, well built, splendid action, and a good foal getter. TmiMS: $. This horse will stand for the season of 1I)0 at Ashor's imrii. ueu noiui. Mo is in first clns condition. Disposing of mares or re moving without permission forfeits in surance money and same becomes duo at once. Care taken to provont ac cidents but will not bo responsible should any occur. W. S. Paiiki:s. sHBBkSS wfl'i'wi'w'www,y'p'w